Rose of Jericho
by peterpauper
Summary: Would we laugh at gilded butterflies? Sequel to Chrysanthemum.
1. A note from the author

**A note from the author**

_Rose of Jericho_ is a sequel to _Chrysanthemum. _If you read this without the other then you will probably end up rather lost. This ffic is supposed to be read after Chrysanthemum, so please, if you have not read it, do so if you intend to read this story.

To readers picking up the story. Thank you for your support and encouragement, it means a lot to me and I really, truly appreciate it. Without you, there would be no story. Keep reviewing, keep being amazing. You guys are champions.

About the story...well, you'll just have to wait and see, wont you?

^-^

Blessings,

-pp


	2. Prologue

---------------

'_**Rose of Jericho'**_

--------------

-

**Prologue**

**-**

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you_

_I'm hangin' on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say  
You said that I will, will be ok  
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home_

_(Lifehouse, Broken)_

_-_

Yuuki stared out the airplane as the coast of Japan began to form beneath it. She sighed and rested her forehead against a clenched fist. It was her first time back in a year and a half, and she wouldn't be returning if it wasn't for the fact she couldn't be a British citizen and compete for England. Apparently divorcing your parents was the same as divorcing your country of birth, even so, Yuuki wanted to compete in the Olympics enough to face her apprehension and haul across Europe, the Middle East and most of Asia to do it. The girl would have to live in the country for at least six months, training, trialling and preparing before heading back to London to set-up in the athletes village.

There was a bang and Zero snorted next to her, he had finally woken up and regained his regal composure that was often lost in sleep. The horse didn't like the turbulence; even Yuuki had to admit that the flight was unusually rocky. The horse flattened his ears against his head for a moment before widening his eyes and throwing his head in fear. Yuuki stood and moved to him.

The girl caught his halter and ran a hand up his cheek. "Bumpy huh?"  
The horse snorted.

"Yeah, know." She replied coyly. "It's going to be worse on the ground. You better be good there too."

Zero's ears flickered forward at her voice and stood with his legs braced against the lurching of the plane.

"Good boy." Yuuki blew into his nostril; her mother had told her to do that in order to bond with a horse, to let it know who you are. It should have worked like that for humans."If I say 'Simon says, be still for the rest of the flight' would you?"

He stared at her. His ears still laid back.

"Okay. Simon says." Yuuki went and sat down again, one eye on her horse. He stood in his box, staring at her, his body rocking with the plane but otherwise unmoving. The girl laughed, knowing how uncanny it was that he had understood her and then actually obeyed as a result. The stable hand behind her grinned, everyone knew about Yuuki Cunxin. She was the youngest Olympian in equestrian, talented, pretty, smart and extraordinarily oblivious to it. Numerous men had asked her out, to each she had flatly refused, saying she had no interest at present and that she only had time to ride. Which, was true to a certain extent. When she wasn't riding, no one knew where she went.

Only Yuuki knew that, in her rooms at night, she would stare at the ceiling and play with a pendant at her throat. It burned to touch it, the memories it brought back were painful, but they were all she had left of the man she thought she had loved but didn't know if it had ever been reality.

She had stopped crying for him and only thought of him a few times a day. Her life had become riding and she had become her sport. She had cut herself off from the world and saw only one thing – Olympic gold.

The plane touched down, finally. It taxied to a halt and the stable hands leapt to their duties. Yuuki lead Zero down the ramp onto the tarmac and walked him in a circle a few times to ease his flight jitters and stretch both their legs. Something struck her. Things looked to familiar.

_Yuuki stared at the car as it raced down the runway parallel to hers...She was watching them, her fingers pressed to the glass. Her face written with grief. It was like she had lost a loved one, like someone had died. Kyoya wound down the window and watched Yuuki's face change as she saw his head appear in the night. "YUUKI!" The wind whipped at him and carried his voice away._

Yuuki blinked. It had taken almost a year to get that image out of her head and it had attacked her so suddenly she had to pause. She forgot what she was doing for a second. The girl shook her head and moved to the car waiting for her, horse float attached. She led her prized possession into the carrier before signing the necessary papers.

"Welcome back." The official said, closing his clipboard and giving her back her passport. "Good luck with trials. Good thing you can't ride for Britain, more gold for us." He winked.

Yuuki smiled and nodded once at the man, she had become rather shy over the year; cutting herself off from unnecessary human contact in order to preserve herself – in order not to get hurt . She thanked the stable hand who put her bags in the trunk and waved at the pilot as he finished his checklist before sliding into the car.

"'ello miss." A familiar voice sounded. It was the man who had driven her the night she had fled. "I 'aint think I'd see you again, eh?"

Yuuki smiled. "Hey. Well, neither did I."

"Yeah, I gots a job now, workin' for the academy. We all come back sometime eh? Couldn't stay away from this place?"

"No." She leaned her head against the window. "No, It seems I could not."

"Well, welcome back anyhows. Me thinks you'll love this place more than ol' Brit. Just like me."

Yuuki closed her eyes, tired from her trip, hoping he wasn't right. Her insides were already searing around the edges, sizzling as old wounds got re-opened. They would eventually leave her raw and naked, a prime target for more hurt, and she hadn't even run into anyone she knew yet. Running into people was an odd talent she possessed, unwanted, but odd none-the-less. What would happen if she ran into Kyoya? Would the world pause? Halt entirely for them? Cease to exist?

The girl pushed her thoughts aside and focused on what she would do when she arrived at the academy.

The Tokyo Academy, sponsored by the Jockey Club, was one of the most prestigious riding schools in the world. Located at Tokyo University, it had large grounds, all sorts of arenas, stables, accommodation and cafes. It was a city unto itself, created for riders by riders. Olympians trained at it, trials were held in it and the world praised it. Yuuki's world would revolve around the academy, prepare within and compete through in order to get back into the Olympic team. Nothing else mattered. Nothing. At least, that's what she wanted to believe. Deep down, she knew that many things mattered besides her riding, there were other things she loved and wanted to do. Like study, travel for leisure, laugh. But they could wait; they could lie dormant until something woke them up. She didn't know what, and she didn't care. Not yet.

Kyoya's face filled her mind as it did every so often. It scared her. The lines of his chin were fuzzy and his eye colour undefined. His voice almost a guess and his smile an illusion. She was moving on, and inside, she found she didn't want to. Yuuki wanted to tear herself apart trying to cling to a person she had let go of.

_**---**_

_Some say the world will end in fire,  
Some say in ice.  
From what I've tasted of desire  
I hold with those who favour fire.  
But if it had to perish twice,  
I think I know enough of hate  
To say that for destruction ice  
Is also great  
And would suffice._

_(Fire and Ice, Robert Frost)_

_---_

Kyoya roared down the highway in his car. The same Maserati he had taught Yuuki to drive in. It was fast and he often imagined it could catch a plane. The gearbox was still stiff from its abuse that fine summers day, and he couldn't bring himself to fix it. He hung onto everything that reminded him of Yuuki, even the fact that she had close to wrecked an automatic car, which is impossible for normal people. She wasn't normal. She understood him, and he her. They were cut from the same cloth, but from opposite sides of the fabric. Made to be stitched together and useless apart.

The engine shifted itself into a higher gear. Kyoya was on his way home from Washington where he had to collect the debts of another financial crisis. The flight had done nothing to ease his nerves, the airport had been advertising the Olympics. He had the gold medal Yuuki left behind in his luggage; it was his lucky charm of sorts. What she had been, only packaged for convenience and a painful reminder of what had been.

Up ahead, the lane began to slow. There was a large truck causing a lag in the left lane. The Ootori pulled into the right and overtook the clot, discovering that the inconvenience was not a truck, but a horse float. He gripped the wheel and pressed his glasses higher with one hand. Ever since Yuuki had left, everything reminded him of her. Everything. Even the weather. It was absurd and he knew it, he should be letting go but found he couldn't. Kyoya knew he was being held back, but found himself not caring. Anything to keep her for a moment longer, even in memory.

The horse in the float was a bay, just like Zero had been. Kyoya glanced in the window as he roared past; the driver was leant over the steering wheel, peering ahead through a pair of oversized glasses. He was obscuring the person beside him. The passenger moved slightly, Kyoya saw a knee, covered in denim and an elbow before he overtook and left the trailer behind him. Dismissing the thought as an obsession of purgatory, he moved on. It would never be her. He had a deadline and had to get home to type his report. Kyoya told himself that nothing mattered but work. He had sacrificed everything for what he was becoming and he would live with that and do it to the best of his ability.

He would move on. When he found the will to do so.

An hour later he pulled up in front of the Ootori mansion. A servant handed him a disk containing what his professor at the Tokyo Institute of Medicine had recorded while he was away. Kyoya had to study to be a doctor in order to fully inherit the business; it had unified hospitals and management after all.

"Kyoya." A stern voice called as he headed for his room.

The man stopped outside his father's study and stood in the doorway. "Yes."

Mr Ootori was crouched over an oak table, surrounded by papers. "I trust things in Washington went well?"

"They did."

"Good."

There was a long silence as Kyoya waited for something, anything. Welcome home maybe. Glad it was a good trip. Go rest, you look tired. Something to prove he was less of a business advocate and more of a son. There was nothing.

His father looked up; a little annoyed to see the man still there. "That is all." His voice was hard, unfeeling.

Kyoya nodded once and pushed his glasses up before continuing on his way. Before reaching his room he paused outside a closed door. A room that hadn't been touched in over a year. He pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind him. Shutting his eyes, Kyoya imagined Yuuki sitting on the floor behind her laptop or pulling on a riding boot or ballet flat – depending on where she was going. He imagined her smiling at him like she had when he had come to her. She had valued his openness, cherished its rarity and worth. Opening his eyes Kyoya was surrounded by the stark reality that the cold room emitted. It was lifeless, tortured, empty.

Sighing he disappeared and went to his room. He downloaded his lectures onto his Ipod and sat on his couch, listening to them. This was his life now. A life void of anything but memories and hard work to attain what he thought he wanted, but had lost something greater.

-

_Sew this up with threads of reason and regret  
So I will not forget. I will not forget  
How this felt one year six months ago  
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget_

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore  
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget  
And being on this road is anything but sure  
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you,and things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that I can share with you

So many nights, legs tangled tight  
Wrap me up in a dream with you  
Close off these eyes, try not to cry  
All that I've got to pull me through is memories of you  
Memories of you  
Memories of you  
Memories of you

I'm falling into memories of you and things we used to do  
Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that we can share  
Falling into memories of you and things we used to do

_(One year, Six months, Yellow card)_

-------

_And thus, the journey continues. _

_Don't try to predict it. I have a lot in store for this sequel._

_Your reviews and constructive criticism are much appreciated. _

_Tell me what you thought. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp. _


	3. Chapter 1

**-**

**Chapter 1**

**-**

Yuuki lay in bed the first night back and stared at the ceiling. She had always been good with jetlag, but this time it was as if the process of recovery was in slow motion. Her mind hadn't let up; she was back and couldn't decide if she wanted to be, if she was ready. The girl rolled onto her side and picked her phone up from the bedside table, scrolling through the numbers she found what she was looking for. A single name. Yuuki stared at it, not pressing call but not unwilling to either.

_Shang Cunxin_.

She couldn't even list him as _dad_ or _father_. It hurt, Yuuki had loved her father, she had been his princess, his angel, the smile on his face. They had been close until the day her mother took her riding. Every tower he had built her toppled that day, every dream they had built collapsed into a mountain range of rubble. The girl had hated him for crushing her, she had wanted to play the piano but because it reminded her father of his wife, she was forbidden to. She had wanted to read books from the library, but her mother had always sat in the window seat and poured over novels, so that was a no-go zone. But she was allowed to ride. Yuuki was allowed to compete because it was her father's way of keeping his love alive, his purgatory for letting her die.

She needed to try and get that back, if she could get part of her old life back then maybe the new one would begin looking up. Maybe it would hurt less after she had proved herself worthy of someone's love. Basic love. A fathers love.

The girl pressed call.

"_Hello?"_ a gruff voice answered on the third ring. It was late.

"Hi, dad." Yuuki replied, cautiously.

There was a long pause. _"I have no daughter."_

"Don't hang up." The girl said quickly before waiting to see if he had. He hadn't. "You can't say you don't have a daughter when I am half of you. Of you. You can't divorce that, even if you try."

"_You signed the papers Yuuki."_ His words stung, they brought back memories Yuuki wanted to keep in storage.

"Yeah, well, you sent them. It was your idea. Don't you dare pin that on me like you pinned everything else you failed at."

"_Failed at?"_ He was waking up.

"At being a father. It wasn't my fault mom died, it wasn't yours. She's gone now. You can't fix that so stop trying to."

"_Excuse me?"_

"Dad. I never stopped loving you, alright. Not once. Not when you forced me out of school and then called me inept because I didn't know how to socialise and stupid because I couldn't do math. Not when you threw me into riding like an investment rather than a daughter. Not when you kept blaming me for mom's death. Never. Because, I'm smart dad. I can do things beside ride horses. I came second in some of my subjects and got honours when I graduated. You weren't there."

"_Why did you call, Yuuki?"_

The girl stared at the opposite wall. "Because...I need to move on with life and I need you to know I was never what you deemed me to be. I was better than that." And, more than anything else, she needed someone to love and to love her now that she had been shattered. Shattered by others and by herself.

"_Okay."_

"Okay?"

"_That's what I said."_

Yuuki felt the last pieces of her heart crack apart. No _I love you too;_ no _I was wrong,_ nothing. "You're not going to say anything?"

"_What do you want me to say? I love you, I was wrong? Because I'm not going to for either because I'm not a liar."_

The girl slackened her grip on her phone and stared blankly at a fly as it clambered up the opposite wall.

"_If you're done ranting and raving to a man you're not even related to, then, I'm going to sleep." _Click.

Yuuki listened to the dial tone, refusing to cry. The darkness enveloped her and it felt like someone had tied a weight to what was left of her heart and dropped it into the deepest part of the ocean. It was cold, bleak, black, murky and the light was fading fast. The light from the past. Something she was reaching for, fighting to swim to, but finding she didn't have the strength to even tread water anymore.

-

In the following weeks, the girl threw herself into training. She had closed herself off entirely from the world, in a place where no one could get to her. Yuuki would smile, be social, go out, but she would not confide in anyone but the darkness. Even Zero became something that hurt to look at. He was owned by the very person who had caused her pain, who had started the fire that continuously burned her from the inside. Yuuki shut off, she would not become a damsel in distress. She was young, she had potential, she would win. The Olympics became her prize, her goal. A glow at the end of a tunnel.

Yuuki couldn't work out why it had been so easy to be used as a doormat. Surely she had not put herself there. Yuuki wondered everyday when things began to get bad and couldn't place it. She didn't want to place it, knowing that if she did it would destroy one of the moments she was clinging to. Maybe the night on the balcony in the snow, Christmas, even falling off Zero. Each had led her to a place that she had found joy in, and each had been abused, mistreated and stored as they were the last fragments of a past tarnished with hurt Yuuki could find joy in.

Her necklace sat at her throat, binding her to the memories. A constant reminder to keep going, to push through the pain, that there once had been more than this. There had once been more than a desert of devastation, there had once been love, happiness, laughter, moments to cherish and adoration. Even if some of it had been fake, Kyoya could not have held a facade like that for so long without having felt something. Surely he couldn't have.

And she loved him. Still. She loved him for having cared. For being her shelter from the storm. For understanding. For being. For respecting. For loving her too.

-

Kyoya's father called him to his study. The man stood in the doorway and waited to be summoned.

"Come." One word and he moved.

Sitting, he looked at his father.

Mr Ootori began to speak. "Kyoya, how do you feel about the Olympics?"

"As one should. It is a display of human engineering in its rawest, physical form. Competition and a hunger to win at all costs."

"You can relate to that?"

"Somewhat."

"What would you say if I handed the sponsorship of the Ootori group over the Olympics, to you? We've undertaken the health checks this side of the boarder. Good advertising."

"I would be honoured." He could not say no, the workload was too much with university and his other endeavours.

"Good." Mr Ootori leaned back in his chair. "You have well surpassed your brothers. They're both to busy making their own wealth and having families now."

Kyoya's eldest brother had just married and his sister had given birth to her first child. The second Ootori was engaged. He was the last one left, the last piece standing. The only one fully available to his father's capitalist dictatorship.

There was a moment of silence, the oldest Ootori scrutinised his son. "What ever happened to that...Cunxin...girl?"

Kyoya's head shot up; surprised that he remembered her. "She went to London."

"To study?"

"I don't know."

Mr Ootori looked over his glasses at Kyoya. "You don't know?"

"No."

"Why?"

"She never told me."

"Is she coming back?"

Kyoya paused. "I don't know."

His father crossed his arms. "That's disappointing." He didn't say whether to Kyoya's ignorance or to Yuuki's move.

The son made no reply.

"I was hoping she would be a future bride. Minor problem, easily resolved." He meant that he would find another woman.

Kyoya stared. "I don't want to get married. Not yet."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

There was a long pause. "You can go." Mr Ootori leaned back into his desk and turned to his computer, ignoring his son completely.

Kyoya stood and left the room, shutting the door behind him. He ran a hand over his face and pulled walked out the front door, headed for the garage. The man got into his car and pulled into the street, trying to escape the ball of stress and half expectations his life had become. Kyoya hated the game he had once found interesting, it was only good until he won. Won the match at least.

-

Yuuki rummaged through her bathroom bag, thanks to the new airport laws she now had no shampoo. Not yet undressed, the girl decided to head to the old supermarket and explore the grounds she had never seen whilst in Japan. The upper classes were so predictable, and she was looking for change. Yuuki pulled on some casual clothes; ballet flats and a white dress cut to the knee. It was different to her usual attire, lighter, fresh, free almost. If one could not feel those things internally, they would seek them externally.

The girl grabbed her wallet and phone and asked the stable hand where to go. He told her to catch the number six bus to the supermarket and the four home. Simple as that. Almost. Yuuki had never been on a bus. She tentatively took her seat, surprised at how little it cost, and looked around. There were a lot of youths, some old people and one, inevitable, screaming child. Yuuki's maternal feelings ducked further into non-existence. It was one of her first commoner experiences without someone else, and Yuuki felt slightly liberated, independent. Even so, once at the supermarket, she had trouble finding out where things were. There was cold fruit and vegetables on one side and cold, frozen fruit and vegetables on the other. She wondered why they couldn't be put together, surely that would be easier. But she wasn't here for food. The hygiene isle was a mile long and stocked with so many products the girl didn't know what to do.

There was shampoo in a pink bottle, blue bottle, purple bottle, white bottle, black bottle. It gave volume, nourishment, moisture, de-frizzing, colour stay and normal options all within a meter of each other. Another girl came up beside Yuuki and took a bottle, read the back and moved on. Yuuki watched her leave, how was it that easy to make a choice from so much variety? She envied the girl who had been raised to understand the simple things, the necessary things, whereas she had been taught how to dance and eat with numerous items of cutlery. It hardly helped. Growing up she had been given salon shampoo that were typed according to hair colour. In the end, Yuuki closed her eyes and grabbed a bottle. It was conditioner. She sighed and read what it did.

_Conditioner, for normal hair. _Yuuki found the matching shampoo. What was normal hair anyway? Was her hair normal? She had tied it in a messy bun because of its dirty state and couldn't tell. The girl gave up and bought the product anyway.

At the counter the woman stared at her, obviously remembering her from somewhere but not really knowing.

"Have I seen you someplace, love?" She asked, her friendly smile beaming.

"Not in person, probably not." Yuuki replied, taking the bag.

There was a pause as the woman scrutinised, her face suddenly lit up. "I know! My niece has a picture of you on her wall, you're that equestrian hey?"

"Yes. I guess I am." The girl smiled and put her wallet and phone in her shopping bag.

The check-out lady was besotted. "She'd be so happy to know I met you. Could I get an autograph for her?"

Yuuki didn't really have any place to go, and her celebrity was not large at all, the occasional recognition had never been a problem. "Sure."

"Do you have any paper?" The woman asked.

Surely they have paper at a supermarket, Yuuki thought. She pulled her wallet out again and extracted an expired Jockey Club membership card. The girl took the permanent marker the woman was holding out and signed across the ID number before handing both back, smiling courteously.

"Thank you!" The lady cooed.

Yuuki nodded her goodbye and walked out the door so that no one would think she was some huge star and begin asking questions. No one was supposed to know she was back.

Not yet.

-

Kyoya drove as far away as he could from his house, right down into the lower districts. The university was close, Tamaki and Haruhi were attending. The former studying business and foreign politics while the latter attained a law degree. The suburbs slowly became commercial, various stores appeared and houses started to fade.

He was angry. His father obviously wanted him to marry, even after saying that it was a pity his older brothers were. Kyoya was the heir, the youngest son, now resented by his older brothers. He was the successful, the one who had been told not to surpass the others but had. He was carrying around a burden that came with his achievements, carrying a loss. Kyoya blinked and her face flew onto the front of his eye-lids annoyingly. He couldn't get rid of her.

The man wanted to, he wanted to move on, it hurt too much to dwell where he was; treading water and trying to stay afloat. There was nowhere to swim to. Nothing in sight.

_Yuuki put her walking brace down on an icy patch and slipped. She braced herself for a hard landing on a cold surface, she didn't even cry out. The hand slid from the small of her back and firmly rested on her waist, the arm attached sitting where the hand had been. Kyoya caught her fall and pulled her up, Yuuki crashed into him instead of crashing into the floor. They stood as they had been before when they were dancing, only her feet were on the floor and her hands gripped to the fabric on his shoulders in fright. Yuuki let go of her grasp on Kyoya's suit. She glanced up surprised to find his face so close to hers._

The image haunted him. The night it all began. The night it all began to go terribly wrong. The night he started to fall for her.

"_Everyone needs a family Kyoya. Even you know that. I don't have anything now. What do I do on their birthdays? Father's day? Just forget? People don't just forget. You just wanted your precious capitalist empire. Everyone needs a family! But it looks like you needed to get rid of a discrepancy more than you needed to look after me. You lied to me. You cheated me. You used me!"_

"_Yuuki, calm down." Kyoya did not like being woken up, but he didn't like not having his bearings even more._

"_You know, you always thought yourself second rate and I never believed it. Not until now. This minute." Yuuki used her finger to point at the ground, indicating that moment._

The words followed him, speaking truth into everything he did. Challenging him. He would be better, because she had thought him worse. He would be the best, for her. Not for himself anymore, but to prove to Yuuki he could be more than what she had left thinking he was.

_He clambered to the backseat to be on the same side of the car that the plane was on. Pulling his phone out, he dialled her. All there was, was a disabled tone, her phone was off. She was watching them, her fingers pressed to the glass. Her face written with grief. It was like she had lost a loved one, like someone had died...Kyoya stared in horror as the wheels of the plane lifted off the ground, first just a few centimetres and then a meter._

_Two..._

_Three..._

_Four..._

Kyoya gripped the steering wheel, furious at himself. He was a jerk. An absolute failure as a human. All he had ever been was a calculating machine and when he finally found a heart, he had already misused it.

The man glared out the front window. He was heading up to a bus stop that served the local shopping centre, the speed limit dropped. There were a few people out, it was late afternoon and the sun was starting to set. Everything looked better at sunset, but everything ended there to.

Kyoya people watched as he always did, his eyes casually scrutinising everyone on the sidewalk. A length of white material caught his eye. The person within looked familiar. The wind blew into the dress and it billowed around the girl's legs, she reached down self-consciously and smoothed the material – even though it hadn't been revealing at all. Her act was too high-toned to fit in with the lower classes around her; she was too conscious of how others would perceive her.

The girl turned slightly, she was now directly side on to Kyoya. Her profile was familiar, the high cheekbones, the straight nose, the softness about her features. He stiffened. It was her.

Her name was too hard to say now that she was standing so close. It hurt too much to say, to think, to know it was lost and yet so near. She was in Japan.

The girl dug in her shopping bag and pulled out a wallet, the interlocking C's grabbed the attention of another teen beside her. It was obviously authentic and an object of envy. She walked up to a bus, now parked in the lane and disappeared within it.

Kyoya realised he hadn't been breathing. He hadn't been moving either and there was not a pile-up behind him. The man snapped out of his daydream and accelerated past the bus.

It hadn't been her.

She would never have come back.

She would never have cared to come back.

Suddenly, Kyoya realised just how much he missed her, just how much he had been denying his loss. It had always been there, but numbed from emotion. How could he have imagined her there? Was he finally loosing it?

The man turned his car around and drove back home. Kyoya searched for comfort in his work, if he was going to drown, he would do it surrounded by papers.

-

_I did a lot; I know you say  
I've got to get away.  
"The world is not yours for the taking"  
Is all you ever say.  
I know I'm not the best for you,  
But promise that you'll stay.  
'Cause if I watch you go,  
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasted away_

'Cause today, you walked out of my life  
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain  
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.  
These streets are filled with memories  
Both perfect and in pain  
And all I wanna do is love you  
But I'm the only one to blame.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life  
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving  
All you did was stop the bleeding.  
But these scars will stay forever,  
These scars will stay forever  
And these words have no meaning  
If we cannot find the feeling  
That we held on to together  
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,  
Or watch me bleed,  
I need you just to breathe.

'Cause today, you walked out of my life  
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)  
'Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
I need you just to breathe.  
I'm not living this life.

_(Like a knife, Secondhand Serenade) _

--------------------

_Alright, it has officially begun. _

_Tell me what you thought, honestly. _

_You know the drill, rate and review._

_Thanks for reading. _

_-pp_


	4. Chapter 2

**-**

**Chapter 2**

**-**

Yuuki moaned as her alarm went off. She had always been a morning person, but still considered it night if the sun wasn't out. The girl grabbed her phone and went to hit snooze, but an alert message was flashing in her face.

_TRIALS. _

Yuuki sat up and stared at the word. It meant so many things and so few at the same time. Olympic trials day. She had to get Zero ready, get herself ready, do a million things before marshalling started at nine. The girl collapsed back into bed and stared at the ceiling. Her phone started yelling again, the snooze only set to a few minutes.

"Shut up..." She groaned and swung her legs over the bed.

Yuuki stumbled into the shower and then into a pair of jeans and an Elmo shirt before falling out the door into the crisp haze of morning. Once in the stable, she was greeted by the warm smell of horses. They were always awake it seemed, always perkily so as well. Zero's alertness annoyed her.

"You're awake. And you're not even nervous. Bet you slept like a log last night, you didn't even stare at the ceiling for _hours_ going through that dressage routine _over and over_ again..."

As she continued to complain, Zero continued to set her at ease. His steadfast nature calmed her. Trial day had always put Yuuki on edge. Always. Her legs felt like jelly and her head was light. Her hands shook as they plaited her horse's main and her stomach pretended it was a ship on the high seas.

"An Elmo t-shirt?" A friendly voice called.

Yuuki turned. The girl at the stable door was smiling in a friendly manner, leading a big chestnut.

"Suki?" Yuuki asked, tying the last elastic around Zero's mane.

"Of course. Who else would be here to challenge your domain?" Suki grinned and leaned on the door. "I haven't seen you since Beijing."

"I know." The girl tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry."

Suki had been Yuuki's eyes and ears of the Olympics, a veteran of the scene; she had led the newcomer through the stages of godlike competition. The woman was at least ten years the Cunxin's senior, short and stock with hair that curled tightly into a pony-tail.

"So, how you been?" Suki asked.

"Tired." Came the bleary reply. "In London no one woke up until seven and I never really adjusted back."

"Yeah, I heard you went to London. Some tiff with your family?"

"Something like that."

"Is it resolved now?"

Yuuki chewed her bottom lip momentarily. "It's on hiatus."

Suki's eyes went wide. "It's that Ootori fellow, isn't it?"

"How on earth do you know that?" The younger girl slid a halter over Zero's head.

"I know everything. My husband owns the news networks."

"Oh. Yeah, I remember you mentioning that..." Pause. "A couple THOUSAND times."

They both laughed, Suki knew when to drop a topic. "So, you good to go today?"

"Niggles with a pirouette in the dressage, but other than that. How about you?"

"Niggles with the cross country."

The girls put their fingers together and wiggled them. Niggle had been their word throughout the Olympics and old trends never die. They giggled.

"You never grew up did you?" Yuuki slid the door open and joined her friend.

"Nope. Compensating for you."

"What does that mean?"

"You were never a child." Suki wrapped her free arm around Yuuki's shoulders. "We complete each other."

"Ew." The girl unwrapped the arm. Intimacy was a no-go zone. It frightened her. It meant that she was vulnerable and open to another attack on her being. "You're married."

The woman leaned in, close to her friend's ear. "Soon to be a crowd."

Yuuki paused, thinking that through. "As in...Three's a crowd?"

Suki nodded, grinning proudly. She was two months pregnant.

For some reason, Yuuki felt her stomach grow heavy. When her world was completely upside down, when she was lost, everything continued to revolve. No one was stopping for her and she didn't know how to catch up. How to love. How to feel anymore.

"Should you be riding?" The younger asked, pausing, her face covered in shock.

"Nothing will stop me riding."

"You'll be due..." Pause. "Four months after London. You'll be five months along!"

"Oh, I'm not planning to go to the Olympics this time round."

"Then...why are you here?"

"The same reason you used to be."

Suki knew that Yuuki had used the Olympics as an escape, somewhere to go to know she was worth more than her father considered her. A place in the clouds alongside the Pantheon of Olympus. It was an alternate universe, one where humans could fly and controlled a beast that should in all rights, control them. Somewhere they could be themselves and the best that being so entailed.

The last time Yuuki had felt that was the last night she had done homework with Kyoya. Just sitting, being. Knowing. There was nothing simpler than the contented emotion, the knowledge of being required, loved, and needed. Yuuki didn't know if she wanted to feel that again, didn't know if she was ready to stir up the memories that came with the emotions just yet.

-

Two hours later, Zero was ready. Yuuki left him with the stable hand and showered. She spent a long time staring at herself in the mirror. Challenging herself, daring herself to think of anything other than the day. It was important she got onto the team. It meant she was worth something. It meant she had worth. That she had real, attainable dreams. That she wasn't something to be used.

Yuuki pulled on her show jacket, her white jodhpurs, her shined boots and the red tie. She grabbed her dressage hat and jumping helmet, her gloves and her bag. Her hair was tied in a tight bun at the base of her neck, dark against her skin. The girl looked at the clock beside her bed. 8:30.

The first marshal call was made outside, the camera vans and their crew pulled up. A crowd lined up at the gates to the Jockey Club, staring through the bars at the event they had come to witness. They could see the dorms from their vantage point and when Yuuki exited her room, they called out to her. Identifying her young frame, she was still the only one competing under the age of twenty.

Yuuki waved shyly and then pretended to have received a text message. Zero was standing, waiting for her. A man and a list of names was there.

"Yuuki Cunxin?"

"Yes." She breathed, her nerves playing up again.

"You're up at dressage in half an hour, puissance at one and cross country at five."

The day was the roughest equestrian day anyone could follow. Usually the events were spaced over three days, but the trails searched for the toughest and most talented.

Yuuki nodded and thanked the man. Her stable hand leant against the trough Zero was tied to.

"Busy, busy."

"Yeah, yeah. So are you." She smiled at him. The boy was probably fourteen, an aspiring Olympian. Just like she had been.

Yuuki mounted and began her warm-up.

-

The team placed second in dressage, their pirouette throwing them down. In showjumping they aced, as was tradition. Yuuki stared at the cross country course as it raced past below her. She remembered the first day Kyoya had helped her. The first day he showed himself as a human.

Up ahead was a long stretch of grass. Zero broke into a gallop. De'ja'vous hit as Yuuki realised what the next jump was. She slowed the animal and he realised what was happening.

Zero refused.

There was a sharp gasp from the crowd as the girl buckled over his shoulder. They had all seen the footage of her falling on the last drop-jump she had been on. Yuuki sucked her breath in and pulled herself right before spinning Zero in a tight circle and practically throwing him over the jump with willpower. The horse's ears flattened as his feet hit the slope. He skidded down and Yuuki leant almost flat against his back. It was how things should have happened last time. How life should have progressed. If she hadn't fallen off, she would have never befriended Kyoya. She would never have felt so lost and hurt and she would still be part of a family, even if they didn't love her. Yuuki would have felt whole. Her heart would be slightly cracked from her father's abuse, but still in one piece. Her stomach wouldn't burn and her head wouldn't swim at what she had run from.

It was her fault.

She should have dwelt with the pain.

Zero took off beneath her and Yuuki swung back to reality. They covered the last three jumps in record time and crossed the line with the second best time of the day.

-

In the evening, Yuuki stood on a podium and accepted her entrance into the Olympic squad. She smiled for all the cameras and spoke to various news sources. Few people outside the equestrian world would see the footage, they were t0o preoccupied with the athletics.

"So, Yuuki. Tell us about that refusal earlier?" A woman shoved a microphone under her nose.

Yuuki just wanted to go shower. "It happens; I didn't line the jump up correctly." She said politely.

"Was it anything to do with your fall two years ago?"

"It might have."

"Can you elaborate?"

The girl smiled softly, trying to encourage herself. The fact she had made it hadn't hit yet. The satisfaction and the feeling of worth hadn't set in. "On the fall?"

"Yes."

"Um...well, we were going much too fast and didn't see the jump coming up as quick as it did. Zero lost his balance and I fell off, got landed on and airlifted to hospital. I could have been avoided."

"Bad riding?"

"Spontaneous riding."

"Spontaneous?"

"We do what we can for others. The girl on the other horse would have suffered worse than I did if I had left her."

"So you're a hero then?"

Yuuki clasped her hands in front of her and looked down. "Um, no. I'm no hero, I'm just a person."

The woman moved on, disinterested with the girl's ague answers. A sponsorship company took her place.

"Yuuki Cunxin?"

Yuuki had been about to retire, she turned reluctantly. "Yes?"

"I'm a representative from the nine network, how are you?"

"Tired." The girl sighed, putting on a pleasant face as not to give the wrong opinion.

"I can imagine. Look. We're very interested in you as a promotional advocate for the Olympics. We're the host channel and we need a face for the equestrian team. No offence to your team-mates, but none are as young or pretty as you."

"Oh." Yuuki didn't do well with compliments anymore. "I don't know, I'd have to think about it."

The man handed her his card and winked. "Call me when you have an answer. The profits are amazing for this sort of endeavour."

"I'm not really interested in money." Yuuki read the card. His name was Carter.

"The publicity then?"

"I don't like attention."

"A different scene?"

The words caught the girl's interest, she needed a change. She needed to find a way to numb her pain. "Okay."

"You think quick."

"I need a change."

"Everyone likes a fresh face."

Yuuki frowned. "No, I meant I actually had to change."

Carter laughed. "And I meant you needed a fresh face." There was a long, awkward silence.

The girl didn't know whether to be offended or not. Their personality clash caused some awkwardness and they both retreated without saying anything more.

It was midnight by the time Yuuki crawled into bed. She didn't sleep.

She had made the Olympic squad again, she had been successful again, she was more than what her father deemed her again. And yet, it was not enough. The hole that was supposed to be filled with the elation of her victory still gaped wide, torn at the edges and scared throughout.

Yuuki closed her eyes and saw a face, the glare on the glasses not allowing her to see his eyes. Kyoya dropped his chin and the glare disappeared. He didn't look proud, or happy, or anything really. He was just there. The girl opened her eyes again. He should have been there. She should have been with him.

The truth hit home.

She should have never got on that plane and ripped a bond that had already sealed. It ached. The girl wrapped her fingers around the necklace and lidded her eyes once more. Just to be near him, even in vague memory. Just to know he was still somewhere out there and that once they had belonged to each other, fit together perfectly. Without the other, they were incomplete. Like a puzzle missing the final piece.

She had hurt him and didn't know if he was struggling to survive as she was.

Yuuki had imagined, weeks ago, that she had seen a black Maserati driving away from the bus stop outside the shopping centre she bought shampoo from. She hadn't realised that she missed him enough to imagine his existence near her own. That she needed the reassurance he was still a living, breathing being. Moving forward in life as she was but maybe stagnant in emotion just the same.

-

_I miss you, miss you  
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare  
The shadow in the background of the morgue  
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley  
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want  
Where you can always find me  
We'll have Halloween on Christmas  
And in the night we'll wish this never ends  
We'll wish this never ends_

I miss you, miss you  
I miss you, miss you

Where are you and I'm so sorry  
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight  
I need somebody and always  
This sick strange darkness  
Comes creeping on so haunting every time  
And as I stared I counted  
Webs from all the spiders  
Catching things and eating their insides  
Like indecision to call you  
and hear your voice of treason  
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight  
Stop this pain tonight

_I miss you_

_(I miss you, Blink 182)_

-

Tamaki turned the television off and leaned back, disbelieving.

Yuuki had been on ESPN. On the Olympic trials. On the _Japanese _Olympic trials.

The blonde ran a hand over his face and dug into his pocket, pulling out a mobile.

"Kyoya?" He said as the receiver picked up.

"_Yes."_ The calculating voice answered.

"Did you just watch the sport?"

"_No. I was too busy watching the stock market rebuild itself."_

Tamaki couldn't tell if that was sarcasm or not, he continued nonetheless. "Well, I was watching the equestrian..."

There was silence on the other end of the line. The blonde knew he had touched a sensitive subject.

"And, well, you were an idiot."

"_Tamaki, what's the point?"_ Kyoya sighed into the phone.

"You let go Japans next Olympic gold medallist."

"_Who's?"_

"Japan's"

"_What?"_

"She came back, Kyoya. Yuuki's back."

_Click._

Half an hour later, Kyoya burst into Tamaki's house. He found his friend still seated on the couch, on the phone to Haruhi. The Ootori went straight for the remote and hit the rewind button, praising whoever invented IQ television.

Tamaki watched the man. "Haruhi? I'm going to have to call you back. I know, I'm sorry. Love you too, bye." He stared at Kyoya who was leaning meticulously on one leg, watching the television fuzz. "Its rude to take daddy's remote without answering."

"I bought this TV." Was the gruff reply.

"You broke the last one."

It was true. The night Yuuki had flown away, Kyoya had been so upset that when Tamaki took him back to his place to vent. He had thrown the nearest thing into the furthest thing. Thus, a flower vase planted itself into the old plasma and a new one had to be born through an extensive savings card.

Kyoya sat on the couch edge and hit play. It was at the cross country. The TV started speaking to them. It announced the next rider, the familiar name causing an odd reaction in the Ootori. Tamaki noticed him close up, as if something was about to hurt him and he wanted to get out of reach, shut himself off. Yuuki's face appeared on screen. She was looking down, adjusting her reigns, balanced perfectly as the animal below her moved proudly. The camera zoomed out and focused on Zero. There was a long beep, the start gun, over half a tonne of horse-flesh took off under the girl.

Kyoya was fixated, he wanted to reach through the screen and touch her, she looked so fragile flying through the air as she was, so small riding such a beast. He wanted to protect her, to apologise. her again just drove home the fact that he wanted her back. That he had lost the most valuable thing in the world to him.

Tamaki left just before the refusal, glancing over his shoulder as his friend's head dropped watching Yuuki have to re-attempt the jump. It was a reminder of the day things started to go wrong. It was the day things began to go right. It was the day he discovered more than a task, but a person. Kyoya had found a heart in himself, watching Yuuki fall off and he had never quite closed it off. Then he lost it, gave it to her, and never got it back. The hole gaped and he numbed himself from the pain, swiftly thinking of a way to find merit in his father's eyes.

The only thing he could think of was 'get married,' and that just made things worse. Kyoya didn't close the door on his life yet. He wanted to let the scaring heal, give it a chance to disappear, before moving on. In his future, he did not want to carry the hurts of a high school love affair with him. That's what he told himself Yuuki was, even though he knew deep down she wasn't, he was just looking for a reason to hold onto her memory for just a little bit longer. Like a loved one who had died and those who got left behind pretended still existed.

-

_I know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at dawn  
And all of our pain, will fade away when morning comes  
And on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed  
And all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way_

And as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart  
And there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends

On that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right  
All of our tears, and all of our fears will take to flight  
But until then all of our scars will still remain, but we've learned that if we'll  
Open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal

As long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart  
And there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends

We must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live  
We must open up these wounds  
When some one stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood  
There's no greater love. we must open up our wounds

_(For miles, Thrice)_

-

---------------

_You know the drill, rate and review. _

_Blessings, hope you enjoyed. _

_-pp_


	5. Chapter 3

**-**

**Chapter 3**

**-**

Kyoya glared from under his duvet as a sprightly blonde whacked him a few times in the shoulder. Another, shorter one was bouncing on the end of the bed, yelling something about pastries and sunshine and trying to link it to whatever they had planned for this day's kidnapping.

Tamaki stopped trying to beat Kyoya's shoulder into his collarbone and leaned back, thoughtfully grinning. "It's what all the commoners do who can't afford to talk to the owners of various universities."

The Ootori sat up, somewhat displeased. "I don't care about other universities, if you hadn't realised; I go to university. You go to university, everyone in my room, who quite frankly should not be here, goes to university."

Tamaki tapped his chin. "But we don't all go to the same one! Orientation week is a way to see everyone else's lifestyle!"

"Of which, mine incurs not waking up to a planned mobbing every morning."

Most of the host club were studying business in one form or another. The twins were doing a duel with the arts and management in order to take over their mothers fashion business, Tamaki was studying international enterprises as the heir to the Suoh Empire; of which Kyoya joined him for once a week as the heir to the Ootori group, all whilst juggling his medical degree. Mori and Hunny were doing art history, for no reason at all really other than that Hunny had developed a fetish for an ancient Egyptian recipe of baklava. Mori had forced him to do a duel in business as well to make their time at college more than one long, tedious lecture about how humans have messed up over time. Haruhi was studying law, just like her mother.

Hunny stopped bouncing on the bed and began pulling things out of Kyoya's closet, turning his room into an area of designer chaos. "Haruhi is at university today too, the convention is at her college so we should all go visit her!"

Mori stood by silently, catching various items of clothing and throwing them to the twins who advanced on the Ootori.

Kyoya snatched a shirt from Hikaru and paused before deciding to lay back down with the offending item covering his head. No one was scared of his morning moods anymore, they had ceased to be menacing and had become somewhat masochistic. Every day was another day to be reminded that he had messed up royally, so much so his blood should be blue.

Everyone else's life kept moving forward, as did his; but only in one aspect. His career was going well, but where Tamaki was engaged to Haruhi, the twins had each other, Mori had Hunny and Hunny had cake, he had nothing. Just a void and the knowledge that the only thing that would ever fill that void wanted nothing to do with him.

Tamaki pulled the shirt off and tugged his friends arm until he was sitting up. "It's going to be fun! There will be lots of commoners at the scholarship stand and cafe coffee and..."

"Cake to go with the cafe coffee!" Hunny beamed, once more on the bed, crawling up Kyoya's lethargic form.

The victim cringed; loud, high pitched noises.

"And the riding academy is there!" The little blonde finished.

There was a long silence, almost awkward but more apprehensive. The Jockey Club was where trials were held. Where the Olympic horses were kept. Where the Olympians were kept. It had become the Athletes Village of Japan's equestrian team. The main street in Tokyo had advertised the team for the 2012 events. Yuuki's face had appeared, smiling down on the city and the masses, of which Kyoya had been fatefully a part of. She had told the world that she would see them in London before fading into one of the Olympic rings. Then there was a billboard. A big one just outside the Medical Institute where Kyoya was studying. It pictured the representatives of each sport, one athlete, one swimmer, one gymnast and an equestrian. It was as if fate were trying to make him miserable.

In the end, Tamaki tugged Kyoya's arm hard enough to make the man fall out of bed. It was then that he took on his menacing morning persona and gave the host club reason to cower in the lounge while he dressed.

-

Yuuki lead Zero towards the paddocks just as morning began to set in. Her instructor had let her off early because her son was starting college that day and she was eager to check out the convention being held on the campus. It seemed that every other university in Japan had converged on the Tokyo grounds; a few fans of the somewhat limited riding celebrity had sat in the stands and watched as Yuuki took Zero around a mock-up puissance course. They were dedicated to fight the sunrise and the grogginess that came with not routinely having to see it. Some of them followed the girl, at a distance, as she released her horse for a half-rest day. Her routine allowed her half a day off Friday and a whole day off Sunday.

Yuuki slid the halter over Zero's head. "There you are, go frolic with Tim."

Tim was one of her team-mates horses, his show name was actually _Zeus' Thunder_ but not even the owner of the horse liked the name; and thus dubbed him Tim at the last Olympic games. It was an ongoing inside joke that surrounded the gold medallists of 2008. Yuuki's life revolved around riding, she sat in a lecture once a week about the processes of London; how to get used to the weather, the ground conditions, how to respect another's culture and all the things that had been said three and a half years before. She wanted to study psychology but knew that being so close to 2012 made it impossible.

Zero turned his head eagerly to Tim before returning to Yuuki. He pressed his soft nose to the hand that wasn't holding the halter and snorted.

"Okay, ew." The girl laughed, it was a rare occurrence and it felt like her face was cracking. She reached into her riding boot and pulled out a small metal box. The horse tried to eat it and the girl had to push his face away as she retrieved a sugar cube from inside. Yuuki offered it to Zero but put it in her own mouth last minute.

"Ha." She was in an unusually witty mood that day. A mood that shouldn't be unusual, but was according to current circumstances. The girl pulled a face, it was incredibly sweet. She forced herself to swallow. "Okay, ew again."

Yuuki gave Zero the remaining cubes and then put the box back in her pocket. Seeing all was gone, the horse disappeared, disinterested.

"You're going to kill your horse that way." A familiar voice called from behind her.

Suki was leaning against the fence, the small group of fans still standing where they had stopped some way behind.

"You're going to kill yourself if you stay around here in your condition." Yuuki climbed over the gate, feeling too lazy to open it.

"What condition?"

"The one where you are now a whole two people."

Suki laughed. "I'm not riding today." She was dressed casually in pair of jeans and a blouse. It looked like she could have gone riding. "And neither are you for the rest."

"Are we doing something?" Yuuki smiled and waved shyly at the group of horse-lovers that rotated as she walked by.

"I'm looking after my niece while hubby's sister explores going back to university. You should come with us to the student film festival; their showing a Disney take-off."

"Disney? At college?"

"It's a 'for the kids' program thing."

"Well, you could defiantly go to that." Yuuki smiled softly and buried her hands in pockets of her riding jacket.

"Yes, well. You can come to that as well, but hubby and I decided that its time you went out."

"And seeing a kids movie isn't going out?"

"Hardly, you're more suited to a screening of _Les Miserables_."

"That's not funny." Yuuki unlocked her room and ushered her friend inside.

Suki laughed again. "No, seriously. The tenth anniversary cast was reunited by whoever owns this university and is playing at the theatre tonight for the arts students."

"Really?" _Les Miserables_ was Yuuki's favourite play, she had wanted to see the TAC version but had missed out on tickets.

"Really really."

"Tenth anniversary cast?"

"The tenth." Suki attacked the girl's pantry and checked the date on a packet of biscuits "You know, these go off tomorrow."

Yuuki turned the kettle on. "Go for it."

"You don't want any?" The woman offered the open packet, revealing a row of chocolate coated, caramel and wafer goodness.

The younger girl cringed. "I don't like them."

"When why did you buy them?" Suki exasperated.

Yuuki shrugged. "Because, I wanted to try something different."

Trying didn't work. She couldn't be anything other than she was, everyone else in the world was taken. Nothing else fit correctly other than the person she had been in the last year at Ouran, and that person had got lost somewhere and was proving hard to find.

-

"LES MISERABE!" Tamaki ogled a poster on the wall of the drama faculty. "LES MISERABLES!"

The blonde clambered around the paper, viewing it from as many angles as he could, obviously excited.

"What's Les Miserables?" Haruhi quipped, her head cocked slightly to the side. Her class had just ended.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "It is a famous stage musical, following the lives of several French characters over a twenty year period in the 19th century, following Napoleons defeat and going into a revolution."

Tamaki turned to his fiancé and grasped her hands. "It is the tale Jean Valjean, as he seeks to redeem himself from his past mistakes. It is an epic tale of good, evil and the law, captured in a sweeping story that explores the tragic, yet beautiful history of France, the stunning architecture of Paris, politics which I'm sure you would be interested in, moral philosophy for Kyoya," he said with a sadistic glint in his eyes, still mad at the man for his stupid mistake "antimonarchism for the twins, justice for Mori, and romance." His eyes were sparkling, his love for his birth nation still evident.

Kyoya didn't need to be asked, he had already pulled his phone out and called the man who owned the university if he would be so obliged as to let his good friends and allies, the Ootori's, have a private balcony to that nights event.

Tamaki was spinning Haruhi around. "You should be able to associate with the musical!" He began to sing. "_At the end of the day you're another day older, and that's all you can say for the life of the poor, it's a struggle, it's a war, and there's nothing that anyone's giving, one more day standing about, what is it for? One day less to be living."_

Haruhi seemed somewhat offended.

-

Yuuki dressed for the evening at Suki's house. She had brought a cocktail dress for the evening and been scowled at for bringing flats as opposed to heels.

"You have to wear heels!" Suki cried, her niece, Riki, sitting on her lap. The little girl nodded.

The girl sighed. "I don't have any here."

"Well, I do." The woman put the child on her bed and pulled open her closet, revealing a row of designer shoes. She pulled out a white pair and handed them to her friend.

"White?"

"Your waistband is white."

"Yeah but..."

"And you're Alice Band!" The little girl cried.

Yuuki stared at her, betrayed. She didn't want to wear heels.

Suki held them out.

The teen took them. "What about you?"

"I'm pregnant, remember?"

"Oh, so you can ride horses but you can't wear heels." Yuuki scoffed, pulling the shoes on.

Riki stumbled off the bed with all the mannerisms of a three year old and walked over to the girl, she pointed up. "You're Anastasia!"

Obviously the movie that they had shown had rubbed off but not enough for the child to understand that Yuuki had dark hair, not auburn, and was a half, not Russian.

Suki laughed at how the little girl had managed to lighten the mood. "And who were Anastasia's parents?" she lifted Riki up to her hip.

"Nicholus and Alezandra!" A pair of chubby hands waved in the air.

"Nicholas and Alexandra, very good!"

"Ans her sisters were called Olgha, Tatlenana and Marisa!" She clapped.

"Olga, Tatiana and Maria, well done! Little history buff coming through already."

"Ans her brother, Azexi died because he was sick."

"He did." Suki pressed the girl's nose with her index finger.

Yuuki was impressed at how such a young mind could hold so much information; hers had been like a sieve. "And what was their last name?" She wanted to see the child try to pronounce that.

"Rachmaninoff" Riki said fluently.

Yuuki frowned. "Rachmaninoff is a pianist."

Riki scowled. "No, it's were Rachmaninoff."

"It was Romanov."

"Rachmaninoff."

"Romanov."

Riki stuck her tongue out. "MEH!"

Yuuki made the same reply, only it was less dignified on someone of her age.

"Your Anastasia, you should know your last name!"

"Yeah well..." She couldn't come up with a comeback. "Your face."

Suki burst out laughing.

Yuuki stared at her friend. "Should she even be coming tonight? Les Mis is rather...vulgar in places."

"Oh, she won't understand. She'll probably fall asleep, her mother wants her 'refined' and Broadway is apparently good enough."

"She's three!"

"And you lost an argument to her, even though you were right."

Yuuki crossed her arms and pouted, her feet already hurt.

"Alright, doompity." Suki put her niece down. "Go to your uncle. Tell him we're almost ready"

A deep voice reverberated down the hall. "Almost!? How much time does it take?" He had been listening in the whole time, just as his wife would have to him. They were still five at heart.

"Oktay." Riki shuffled to the door and stopped at the door, glaring at Yuuki she made one last attempt. "Rachmaninoff."

-

When the group arrived at the theatre they discovered their seats had been moved.

"I'm sorry, we were overbooked and had to move you up to the second balcony."

"Why?" Lee, Suki's husband asked. "We booked a week ago."

"Well, the gentleman who booked a few hours ago is apparently incredibly important. Someone of your business stature should understand that sort of arrangement." The usher said.

Lee sighed. "Okay. Is it still a private room?"

"Yes, sir. We are also including complimentary cheese, wine and chocolate."

"Oh, good. Second balcony it is." Suki started to head for the stairs.

Yuuki followed her. "You are still supposed to eat for one, you know that right?"

"Not when there's two of me."

"It's me too." Lee caught up.

"Which is why I'm getting cravings so early."

They laughed. Yuuki felt she had to look away, their relationship was so deep, inexplicable and not understood by anyone but them. She knew that that felt like.

Riki tugged Yuuki's dress for the millionth time. "Yuriki?" She had decided to combine their names together.

"Yes?"

"How did Aunty Suki get a baby in her tummy?"

The girl opened her mouth to speak and hesitated. "Uh...well...hmm..." She paused. "Ask your parents."

"Can't you tell me? Pweez?" She had an adorable lisp.

"Uh..." Yuuki thought for a moment. "Well, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...um...no, I can't tell you. Ask your parents." The whole topic of relationships, let alone intimacy, still freaked the girl out a bit, more so than it had before. She had flunked biology because she was too embarrassed to study for the reproduction test, even though most of it was on mitosis.

"Can I have a baby in my tummy?"

Yuuki decided then and there that children were harder to get along with than adults. "No."

"Why?"

"Because, you can't yet."

"Why?"

"Because....you just can't. Stop asking me." Yuuki replied, flustered.

Suki was laughing silently to herself and Yuuki glared at the woman. Her husband then took his turn after catching on to their conversation.

"What Yuuki means is, she doesn't understand herself."

"I do so!" The girl paused awkwardly. "I just don't want to."

The adults laughed as they took their seats. Riki forgot all about her questioning and attacked a box of chocolates. The teen played her hand up her neck, suddenly very shy and introverted. Her fingers caught the chain on her skin and she moved her hand away. Not tonight. Tonight she was going to enjoy the play.

-

Kyoya took his seat with the rest of the host club and waited silently. Les Miserables. The miserable ones. Or one at least. He wondered if Yuuki felt the same. If she still loved this musical.

"Does this have lea salongalea salongaLea Salonga in it?" The twins asked in unison.

"Probably."

"Do you think you could get us backstage to meet her?"

"Probably."

"Will you?"

"Probably not."

Hikaru, probably, waved a small flag with the songstresses face on it. "But she's so pretty! She would be a great new face for our mother's label!"

"Please?" The other twin asked.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and ignored them.

"Why won't you let them?" Haruhi asked from her seat behind Tamaki. The blonde was leaning forward so far it was as if there was no one sitting between them.

"Yeah, why?" The twins asked accusing.  
"I won't be used for petty gain." He replied.

Hikaru and Kouru leaned back, defeated. Haruhi knew when to drop a topic.

"Kyoya-chan?" Hunny had brought his own cake. "These are pretty good seats! Centre first balcony and everything! How much did they cost?"

"Why?"

"So we can pay you back, of course." Hunny beamed.

Everyone turned to the master of loans. "Don't pay me back."

Shock registered on everyone's face. "What?" Tamaki turned around.

"Why are you so stunned? Is there something wrong with buying friends tickets to the theatre?" He drummed his fingers on the armrest.

There was a silence. He had changed. Not a lot, but enough for people to notice. Enough to be Kyoya, but for the better. The lights went down. Les Miserables started its progression to the end.

-

Suki spent half the time of the first interval covering Riki's ears.

"Why can't I hear?" The girl asked.

"You're not old enough." Her aunt replied.

"Can I listen to this song?"

Suki looked at Yuuki, the girl nodded. "This one's clean."

"Finally." The woman said, setting the child back in her seat.

_And now I'm all alone again  
Nowhere to turn, no one to go to.  
Without a home, without a __friend__  
without a face to say hello to  
But now the night is near  
And I can make-believe he's here  
Sometimes I walk alone at night  
When everybody else is sleeping  
I think of him and then I'm happy  
With the company I'm keeping  
The city goes to __bed__  
And I can live inside my head  
On my own  
Pretending he's beside me  
All alone  
I walk with him 'til morning  
Without him, I feel his arms around me  
And when I lose __my way__, I close my eyes and he has found me_

Yuuki stared as Lea Salonga sang _On my own_. For the first time, she understood what it meant.

_I love him  
But when the night is over  
He is gone  
The river's just a river  
Without him, the world around me changes  
The __trees__ are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers  
I love him  
But every day I'm lonely  
All my life I've only been pretending  
Without me, his world will go on turning  
The world is full of happiness that I have never known._

Kyoya had used her for petty gain. He would probably be happy without her, his world would continue to rotate without her. A world where he had friends who weren't animals and a family who he was still bound to.

Riki crawled onto Yuuki's lap, bored by the song. She wrapped her hands around the teens where that sat at her throat.

"Can I shee?" The child asked.

Yuuki looked at her hands, clasped around her pendant. She wasn't ready to let go yet. She wouldn't accept that her leaving had left him the same. The girl shook her head at the child. "No." She said softly.

"Why?"

"Because, it's not for you to know."

Riki was adamant and began clawing at Yuuki's fingers, frustrated as the tired child she had just turned into.

"Don't Riki." The girl scolded.

"I want to shee!" The child tugged on Yuuki's hands, there was a click behind her neck as the clasp snapped from the force.

The lack of pressure pulling back on the child's hands threw her back slightly, Yuuki reached her arm behind the girl and let the necklace go, not knowing it wasn't attached yet. Her eyes drew away as the pendant bounced on the floor. Yuuki's heart faltered. Her final piece of him, her final good memory had been removed. It was like saying goodbye forever, it made the past real. Acutely so. Yuuki realised sharply that she didn't want that. That she had made a mistake. The necklace slid under the ridge of the balcony and the girl could do nothing to stop it sliding over the edge.

The girl swiftly put the child back in her seat, and quickly rose.

"Yuuki?" Suki looked up, out of the trance the musical had put her under.

"My...I...I have to get something." The teen's voice faltered.

"Oh." The woman lifted her purse. "While you're there, can you get me a bottle of water as well? I can't drink the wine." Pause. "Yuuki?" She was gone.

The girl ran through the empty corridors of the theatre and tried to work out where the balcony below them had been. Her desperation to get it back frightened her.

Yuuki rounded a corner and found the staircase that lead to the door of the private balcony. _Centre, first balcony._ It read. Exhaling she hoped it was there and began to slowly climb the stairs, calming herself so that the people inside wouldn't think she was a breathless maniac.

The door opened and a man in a suit with dark hair appeared, Yuuki didn't look up at him at first, she was too busy trying to steady herself. He didn't move from the top stair and the girl looked up.

Her heart faltered for a second and her lips parted slightly in shock. Her regaining of composure technique disappeared completely as Kyoya stared down at her.

They had both wondered what would happen should they ever meet again. Would the world cease to exist? Would time stop just for them? Neither of those things happened, the world continued to revolve as it always had but the moment could never have been explained.

Kyoya was holding the pendant in his hand, the chain dangling over his palm. He didn't say anything. The item had fallen right into his lap and he had recognised it with shock. He hadn't planned anything, he wouldn't have either. The variables about their meeting were too wide; he didn't know how she, or even he, would react. But sometimes, Kismet happens.

Yuuki stood on the bottom step, not knowing what to do. Kyoya dropped his foot from the top level and made his way slowly towards her, wondering if she would vanish and hoping deep down that she wouldn't. It was like approaching a deer and praying it wouldn't run away, praying it would let you cherish the few seconds you had close to it and hopefully retie a bond that man had severed a long time ago.

Kyoya had found that the clasp hadn't broken; it had been built to open when forced suddenly and had just slipped on front of the circular piece it stayed behind. It was easy to slide it back. The man stopped when he reached the same step as Yuuki.

She didn't know if she had breathed or not in the last minute. Kyoya was there. So close she could touch him. The girl saw that the necklace wasn't broken, or that he had fixed it. She turned and lifted her hair out of the way, giving him silent permission to do what they both had wanted to re-do for so long; get close. Kyoya let the pendant drop gently against her collarbone and let the top of his finger brush against her neck, wondering how she would react. He didn't know it, but Yuuki's heart palpitated in that moment, fearful. The girl brought her fingers back to the pendant and turned to face the Ootori. They were as close as they had been the night they had begun to fall. The night in the snow. She couldn't look him in the eye and kept her gaze planted on his shirt pocket. It was enough. It was him. For the first time in a year and a half she felt like a piece of her had lined itself up to be put back in place.

Kyoya stared at the top of Yuuki's head. She hadn't grown a bit, her skin was still as pale as it used to be and her hair just as dark. It was Yuuki. But she was missing something. She was broken inside, just like he was. After all the time and hurt, they could still read that in each other; still understand an emotion that was not on show.

Suddenly the door opposite them opened and a group, laughing and talking emerged. It was time for the break. Yuuki knew that she wasn't ready to talk to him; she wasn't ready to face him. But she had been with him, for just a moment. And that was all she could handle without falling apart in front of him.

The door Kyoya had emerged from opened and he looked up, hoping the first out wasn't going to be Tamaki. It was. The blonde bounded down the stairs.

"Where did you go Kyoya! You missed the _One day more_ song! It was magnificent!"

He made no reaction to Yuuki. The Ootori looked back to where the girl had been standing. She was gone. This time he knew he hadn't been dreaming, he hadn't imagined it. She had been there and she had let him in ever so slightly. She had told him in her own way that she was suffering just as much, that she regretted everything equally. Yuuki knew how much she had hurt him and she understood what it felt like. Each to their own, they had damaged each other equally and wanted to repair that hurt once more, only, they didn't know how. Not when they had died to themselves a long time ago.

-

_Ooh  
Standing by a broken tree  
Her hands are all twisted,  
She's pointing at me,  
I was damned by the light comin'  
Over all as she  
Spoke with a voice that,  
disrupted the sky.  
She said,  
"Walk on over, yeah  
to this bit of shade,  
I will wrap you in my arms"  
And hold you safe,  
"Let me sign,  
let me sign_

_(Let me sign, Robert Pattinson)_

---------

I heart _Les Miserables._ ^-^

So, you know the drill. Let me know what you thought. Honestly.

Blessings and thanks for reading,

-pp


	6. Chapter 4

-

**Chapter 4**

-

Yuuki was listening to Canon in D through her iPod. She was dead to the world as it was and alive to the one in the arena. Dressage, precision, trying to let things flow whilst still maintaining control had always been a problem in her life. Bonding to that extent had only happened twice, and it wasn't with Zero. It seemed that the men in her life always had a plan for her and were willing to manipulate the person they were supposed to love for their own gain.

Zero below her, the only control she had in her life came from the very thing she didn't possess.

The song ended and Yuuki looked up to see a man, the manger of the academy, waving at her from the stands. The girl unplugged herself.

"YOU HAVE A VISATOR!" The stout, balding fellow bellowed.

Yuuki liked him; he had a very strange sense of humour. "VISITING HOURS ARE OVER!" She called back.

She could see her manager drop his head a chuckle before waving a hand, dismissing her statement as rubbish. "I'll send him to your dorm."

"WHAT?"

"HE'LL BE AT YOUR DORM!"

Yuuki rode over to the stands, her throat hurt. "Don't send men to my dorm. Send him to the stables." Pause. "Who is it?"

The man shrugged. "No idea. I asked if he was family and his response was somewhat confusing."

"Oh." Apprehension flooded over the girl.

"Do you still want to see him?"

Yuuki blinked and nodded, smiling her uncertainty away. "Yes."

He had come. He wanted to see her. He wanted her.

Yuuki was carrying her saddle to the tack room when her father entered the stables. He stood and watched her go about her business, impressed almost at how she seemed to be running the happenings of the centre. Yuuki was leaning over a stall, talking to a man about twenty years her senior who wanted her opinion on his new saddle.

"I'd pad it, just a bit. The space under the withers is a tad too much and it's sitting a little too flat on the back."

The man looked at the saddle a second time; the problems were hardly noticeable but would prove uncomfortable for him in the future. "I hadn't even noticed. The saddle maker said it was good."

"It is good." The girl smiled at him. "But it can be even better."

"Thanks Yuuki." The man let her leave as she shifted the weight of her saddle as it rested heavily on her arm.

"Anytime." She hesitated and turned back to him. "You going to that...uh...lecture thing...tomorrow?"

"Uh...nah, probably not. Heard it all before, how can this time around be so different to last? Those things are really for the newies."

"Awesome. I'm going to put this down and I will see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Yuuki."

The girl disappeared through the door next to the stall and re-emerged with free hands. She looked up and saw her father standing there. He was leaning on one jean clad leg, his thumbs through the belt hooks, smiling softly. Yuuki walked over to him, demanding that the butterflies in her stomach settle down.

She was wanted. He had come. He cared. He needed her.

"Hi." Her voice was soft.

"Hey kiddo. Got some good friends there. What's he? Three times gold?"

"Four."

"Huh."

There was a long silence.

"Do you need something?"

Shang Cunxin stood upright and crossed his arms. "I need you, Yuuki."

Her heart sped up. She had needed to hear those words from someone, anyone, and finally she had.

"Why?" She replied.

Her father started walking away, motioning for her to follow. "Because, I messed up as a dad. I blamed things on you that weren't you fault. I pushed you to hard."

Yuuki followed and paused at her dorm. "It was hard on all of us, with mom...I understand."

"Good girl." He watched as she unlocked her room. "Look, I was wondering if...maybe...you wanted to come to dinner tonight? Mako's at home, it was really his idea. Um...we could, try this again?"

"Um." The girl pulled her boots off and banged them on the concrete outside to get the mud off them. "I guess."

Inside she was over the moon. The night things had gone wrong, the night he had called her, she realised that she had two people in her life to lose. One she thought she had already lost, but if he wanted her back then she was prepared to take that. Yuuki was prepared to be loved after living in such an arid emotional climate for so long. She needed to feel something more than angst. She needed to know that things could be reversed, turned around, healed. Even after her moment with Kyoya, the girl had been unsure of the possibility. Of course she wanted him back, but just like the Ootori had, she decided to leave the door open for two good things and hope it would blend into one.

"Good." Shang nodded. "I'll go outside and call your brother and tell him.

"I'm going to shower and get dressed. I can't be gone to late though."

"No, no. Of course." Her father ducked outside.

Half an hour later, they were in a brand new Jeep, hurtling down the highway towards the mountains. It was an hour and a half to her old home and Yuuki spent the time listening to her father talk of his new enterprise; training elite horses.

"It's really great, Yuuki. We get a bucket load of money for it."

"And you like horses." She replied.

There was a short, unnoticeable pause as Shang's face displayed an odd emotion for a second. "Yes." Pause. "Your mom would be so proud."

"Yeah." Yuuki looked out the windscreen. She would have been proud of him.

-

The house was the same. High ceilings, mahogany floors, white wash walls.

"And I thought I was the one who cleaned up around here." Yuuki said, running a hand along a picture frame.

"Yes, well, we had to hire someone."

"That makes sense." It was awkward between them, so many unsaid things that should be told but were hesitated on.

"MAKO!"

Yuuki cringed as her father yelled through the house, something yellow caught her eye.

_Kira. _

The girl held up the post it. "What does Kira mean?"

Shang Cunxin's eyes went wide. "Kira is Mako's girlfriend. She lives here now."

"Why do you look so...shocked?"

"Because, she only lived here because she was pregnant and as such, cast out by her family."

"Oh."

"Looks like you're about to be an aunt. She was about ready to burst anyway."

That was a nice way of putting it. Yuuki stared at the note. "How much have I missed?"

"Three years."

There was a silence. The girl wondered why it had hurt so much to be apart from Kyoya for one year and so little from her father for three. Their discrepancies had been almost equal; both had used her. One she struggled to live without.

"Uh..." The man looked around the house. "I guess that means dinner is on hiatus."

"We can order something?"

"Like what? Nothing comes out here." There was an edge of annoyance to his voice.

Yuuki remembered something, just off the edge of her memory. "Well, we can look in the kitchen?" She suggested.

Her father grunted and led the way. The kitchen sparse on actual food supplies.

"We can do...um...." Yuuki stared at the fridge. "hm...." She moved to the pantry. "Noodles. We can do noodles."

"Want some wine?" Her father asked, leaning against the counter as she boiled some water. He had already poured himself a glass.

"Oh, no. I'm not old enough yet."

"When are you old enough?"

"September." She wondered why he didn't know that.

Shang shrugged and opened the packet she threw at him. "I'm so glad you're talking to me. And that your here."

Yuuki turned and smiled at him. "Yeah, me too."

And she was. Parts of her old self were clicking back together, knitting her broken soul back into place with the fundamentals. However, she wondered why her father looked on edge. Sure, it was strange for both of them, something to be anxious about, but nothing to cause great distress. They were making up, surely that deserved some form of ease or a sign of happiness.

Dinner passed quickly and the pair moved into the lounge. Yuuki went straight for a leather covered photo album that sat on the coffee table.

"This looks familiar." She sat down next to her father. The book had words stitched in gold on its cover.

_In honour of Cara Cunxin, 1957-1993: a journey. _

Yuuki smiled, feeling somewhat melancholy. "Do you think she would be upset at what happened...with us?"

"Probably." Her father replied, he was more closed than she was and had been all night. Yuuki had tried to reconnect with him, but a gap that had formed at six and spread over almost twelve years was hard to mend.

The girl opened the cover and was greeted by the smiling face of her mother.

"Hey, Yuuki?" Shang quipped as he set his wine glass on the table.

"Yes." She didn't take her eyes from her mothers.

"What would you say to...uh...talking to the press?"

"About what?"

"About what happened."

"Um...what would I say?"

"That your old man is a good man."

Yuuki felt uneasy all of a sudden. "Why?"

"Because you saying I wasn't severely damaged our international relations."

"You weren't good back then though, dad." She looked at him. "You might have changed, but I can't lie."

Her father's face flashed an emotion she didn't catch. Yuuki looked back at the album, the next few photos were of her mother as a child, smiling sweetly at the camera. There were no tears from the girl, just soft, nostalgic smiles.

"I'm sorry I was like that." The man said. "Could you at least try to remedy the situation?"

"Besides the media?"

"You could join the Cunxin group again, obviously not as an heir..."

"Why not as an heir?" Didn't he want her back as a daughter?

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you're not my legal daughter anymore."

"That can be fixed."

"It would be better if you were a business partner."

Yuuki stiffened. "Is that why I'm here?"

"Why did you think you were here?"

The girl stared at her father. "Because...I thought you wanted me back, as your child."

His words were flat, hard, like a million negative emotions tied through one voice. "Yuuki...I lost you as a child the day you let your mother ride in front of that truck."

The words pierced straight through her. "I'm confused."

Shang leant back in his chair. "You think I was sorry for divorcing you? No, I don't mind that. Sorry I offended you? Yes, of course. It was incredibly bad for business. Almost had to declare bankruptcy."

The girl closed the photo album. "I don't believe it."

The pieces of her that were coming back together fell apart viciously. "No." She said firmly.

"What?"

"No. I will not help you."

Yuuki stood up, upset and angry. She pulled her mobile out and began calling a cab. A heavy hand tore the device from hers and threw it across the room. It hit the opposite wall and shattered, falling to the ground in pieces just as its owner had moments before. Yuuki's father had hit her.

"You!" Shang pointed at the girl. "You ruined me! Why won't you fix that? Don't you love me?"

_Don't you love me? _Yuuki realised that she was the beginning of a person like her father, seeking love in all the wrong places. Seeking love with one who had loved and stopped. He had suffered, he needed love, but he had gone to the wrong place to get it. He had lost it all and buried himself in work, cutting himself off from the very thing that would hurt him most but benefit him the best. Yuuki realised something. Kyoya had never stopped. She saw it that night at the theatre. He had never once stopped.

"No." Yuuki said quietly as she used the couch to get back to her feet. "I don't love you. I don't know you."

She was scared, things had gone south exceptionally fast and she knew her father had been drinking lightly.

"You trash!" His mood swung quickly. He didn't like it when things went on a way other than his.

The girl clutched the photo album to her chest and held her free hand against her cheek. It ached where he had struck her. "I'm not going to help you."

"Why?" Shang's voice reverberated throughout the house.

"Because, If I did, I would directly be funding the things I think are wrong with the world."

Her father tore her wrist from her face and held it tightly. "What do you think is wrong with the world?"

"People being used and destroying something priceless. Believing that what you through was right was right, when it wasn't. I thought you loved me dad. I needed you. I needed someone..."

Yuuki realised that in her need to find some stability, to find someone who could knit her back together, she had walked through the wrong door. They didn't mould together. Out of the things she wanted, she had chosen the first to offer itself and discovered it to be brutally wrong.

"I need to go home now." Yuuki said firmly. She was terrified.

"You are home." Her father seethed and threw her wrist aside.

The girl quickly stepped away from him and reached for the phone. Her fingers dialled the cab company she had begun to use to get around town. She blessed the fact she had a good memory.

Shang ripped the item from her hand and tossed it to the floor. "Yuuki, you WILL join the company."

"No. I won't." It was no struggle to hold yourself together when everything had already fallen apart.

He slapped her, hard. "Yes, you will."

There was a metallic taste on the girl's lip.

"Or what?" The raw edges of her heart went numb from their abuse. She was in the wrong place. She knew the right place but had been too scared to go there. To scared the night she had learned that he was in as much pain as she was. The night she had seen into the door she really wanted and hesitated to enter because it had the power to hurt her more than anything.

Shang Cunxin reached for his wine glass and smashed it against the coffee table in anger. "You worthless..." His eyes were blazing.

Yuuki swallowed and turned her back on him.

"Don't you dare turn your back on me!" The man threw the remaining stem of his glass towards the girl; it hit her in the shoulder but must have not been the sharp side because it rolled away and disappeared under the couch.

The girl's fight or flight system kicked in and without knowing what was happening, she had passed through the house, ended up with a set of keys and the photo album and was driving away. Her shoulder ached. Her face ached. She could taste blood in her mouth.

The fact she couldn't drive properly didn't register; adrenaline had her so far gone that nothing made sense anymore. Not even the sudden turn of events. All she knew was that she had made another devastating mistake. That she had wrecked a relationship beyond repair.

Maybe she should have said yes. Maybe she would have been loved. Maybe...No. She didn't need to be used again. She didn't want to be used again and she didn't know how to ensure it from not happening again. The gravel ran under the car and Yuuki remembered a day when that sound had caused laughter, and a broken gearbox.

-

The girl raced onto the highway, she didn't know the speed limit and didn't know how fast she was going. The sky opened up, fortunately the car had automatic windshield wipers and automatic headlight; Yuuki would never have found them otherwise. An hour later it hit her how fast she had been driving, she had shaved a whole half hour off the trip.

Yuuki sniffed, her eyes stung, she couldn't see out the windscreen. Her shoulder hurt. The girl reached the outskirts of the city and passed Ouran Academy. Her old life. The best life she had had.

The school passed by and Yuuki forgot where she was going. She was just driving blind, turning into random streets. For some reason she felt an urgent need to stop, like a memory reminding her that was what other cars had done on this rout. She didn't. A car to her right drove through the intersection, its lights on high beam. Yuuki got a fright and pulled the jeep hard. The other car swerved to miss hers and didn't stop. Yuuki slammed her foot of the brake, the first to-don't during a swerve. The wet ground caused her car to aqua-plane across the intersection and slam, passenger side, into a lamppost. The vehicle moaned softly and dutifully kept the engine running. The noise of the crash was completely drowned out by the heavy rain, anyone who possibly heard it mistook it for a peel of thunder.

The girl at the indentation on the passenger side. Half the seat was torn into by the side of the car, the window had shattered and the green paint of the lamppost had been scratched off and the metal had bent into the vehicle, wrapped around the post. Yuuki opened her door and stumbled into the rain, her hands locked around something rectangular; nothing registered. She was not hurt, miraculously; her previous shock had annulled anything she should have felt. All she remembered was hurt. It consumed her. And she was angry.

The girl saw a house; its foyer light was on. It was a familiar house, one with big pillars out front and a sculpture of a naked woman in the garden. Kyoya had once told her that they were French and saw an excessive need to be ostentatious. She had laughed.

Yuuki stared at the street. Unconsciously she had driven the school rout from Ouran and found herself in the upper districts of the city. Kyoya's house was on the hill. The girl stared at it as it lay, half lit, a mile away. She swallowed. Not knowing if she could handle another betrayal, not knowing if she could handle another event like that which she had just experienced and had experienced her whole life to some lesser degree. A lesser degree. She had made a mistake. She should have forgiven him, stayed in Japan. Yuuki should have never got on that plane; never put herself in the place she was now. All she wanted was to be understood, and only one person had ever done so completely. Only one.

-

Kyoya sat in the lounge, unlighted. Moments before he had switched off all the house lights and retreated to the comfort of a familiar room. He remembered the Christmas tree, the day he had given her the necklace...the night it had come back to him and she had accepted it once again. Accepted him once again.

The man sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back. His brothers and father were away at a conference in Osaka and his mother had gone to Fiji for some exotic spa treatment. His lifestyle did not allow such luxuries; it only allowed study and work. The house was silent. It was abnormal. It felt unlived in. There was a loud crack of thunder and Kyoya opened his eyes just in time to see the tail of the lightening. There was another pounding noise. Continuous, in time. Unnatural.

The man sat up and listened. There was a pause and then two more pounds, they echoed through the foyer. In normal circumstances, Kyoya would never have gone to the door. To many beggars and kids came to the house looking for money, food, shelter, compassion...the latter of which was in short supply as of late. But this night, he took the liberty of lighting the foyer and unlocking the door.

Yuuki was standing on the porch in the rain. The storm was directly overhead. Kyoya stared at her, his eyes wide with shock. She opened her mouth to say something, her eyes never meeting his, she was uneasy, nervous. Like a flogged animal. Her face was swelling on the one side and there was a cut on her lip.

She was holding a picture book.

The girl closed her mouth and then opened it, a small noise was emitted from her small frame but all she managed to convey was a hand gesture that meant nothing other than that she didn't know what to say. He knew that gesture. She had done it every time she thought she was in trouble.

Kyoya stepped aside from the doorway, allowing her in. Yuuki walked inside and stood facing the door as the man closed it. The girl's eyes were dilated as if they had seen too much and wanted to at least grasp something good to lighten the happenings of the evening.

Kyoya turned to face her and they stood in silence that screamed across each personal void, yelling to the other, crying out.

She managed her first words, they were flat. "You never came."

"You never came." She was shaking, her voice unsteady. "You never came for me."

The Ootori didn't say anything, seeing her hurt, hurt him. He took a step towards her and the girl watched him, dripping silently where she had stepped back into his life. Kyoya took another step and lifted an arm around her shoulders. Yuuki leaned into him. Burying her face into his neck she began to cry. Kyoya pried the photo album out of her hands and reached away from her for a moment to put it on a sideboard.

"I needed you and you never came...I...none of this...you should have come. Why didn't you come?" She was still trembling, obviously in shock. Obviously aware that she had done exactly the same thing Kyoya had; tried to get both prizes when one only led to emptiness and hurt.

Kyoya felt himself heal slightly. He had needed to hear those words for so long. _I needed you._ She still did. She had come back to him.

"I know, I didn't think you wanted me to." He said, not believing she was there. He wrapped his other arm around her, holding her together. Yuuki knew that if he let go, she would fall apart again. Kyoya had stuck a piece back into her and was holding it in place. She had done the same to him.

"Just because I didn't want you to, doesn't mean you shouldn't have." Her anger was drowned out by her hurt.

The Ootori felt her seeping into him, Yuuki was soaked. He stared down at her, following the lines of her head and neck to her shoulders. There was a red patch on the back of the left, the material was ripped about three inches and stained deep on the edges. He lifted his fingers to touch it and stared in horror as watered blood ran down his fingers.

"Yuuki, what happened?" He pulled her away from him.

She shook her head, still not looking him in the eye. "I'm...I....I...I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" His voice was firm, worried.

"I got on the plane." Her voice was weak, afraid.

Kyoya closed his eyes; she was obviously in a state of shock. "No...What happened just now Yuuki?"

"I..." She dodged his gaze. "I...crashed."

"Crashed what?"

"A jeep."

"Where?"

"Down the road. Into a lamppost. Outside the French house." Her hand lifted to indicate the world outside the door. The world outside their own. She wanted to tell him everything but didn't know how. Didn't know how to pick up the threads of an old life.

Kyoya pressed his fingers to the back of her shoulder. Yuuki flinched. "Did that happen when you crashed?"

"I...I...." Her voice broke, she shook her head.

The man lifted her up and carried her through to the kitchen. Leaving Yuuki on a bench, he disappeared and reappeared with two towels and a box. The drug company had given their family a demo model of a new stitching kit for hospitals and clinics. He had thought it useless, like all the other demo's, until that moment.

Kyoya handed Yuuki one of the towels. She wrapped it around her shoulders, sniffing once and staring at the fridge. He put his hand on the offended shoulder and slid the towel off.

"I need to look at it." He handed her a soda from the fridge. "The sugar will help with the shock."

Yuuki didn't move.

"Yuuki." Kyoya's voice was stern.

She looked up, not quite at him, but in his general direction, nodded once and hugged the spare towel to her front as she undid the first few buttons on her shirt. She let her fingers ease the wet material off her shoulder. It throbbed, but it had never once stung. She had never once felt the cut. Kyoya stood behind her and ran his fingers over the broken skin. The cut was deep but fortunately straight.

"Yuuki, I need to stitch this." He said, walking back around to the box on the counter.

He smiled at her reply. "You can't sew." The sugar was working but she was still trembling,.

The girl's face went white when she saw him take a needle out of the box and measure some fluid from a bottle into it. Kyoya looked at her, she didn't know he was studying medicine. "Relax."

Her eyes still locked on, horrified, on the syringe. The man returned to his place behind her and ignored the girl's fear for needles. He had to push all the questions and emotions aside so that he could fix her. Stitch her broken being back up. She had begun to stitch him the moment she walked into the door. Actually, the moment she dropped her necklace.

Yuuki felt dizzy at the tugging on her skin. She didn't know she had been cut. The pulling stopped after a minute and Kyoya asked her for the scissors from the little box he had brought. The girl handed them to him over her shoulder. There was a sharp click and then a dull ache as her skin was left to heal. Kyoya reached around her and grabbed the box; he dried the area and put a patch over the stitching. He hadn't ever sealed up a real person until now, and she had been shaking slightly. The cut would heal into a small and interesting scar.

Yuuki wrapped the spare towel around her shoulder. There was silence. Kyoya stared at the girl and Yuuki stared at his collar, damp from where she had buried her head into it.

After a minute, the man spoke. "What happened, Yuuki?"

She looked away, turning her head side on. "I went back."

"Back?" There was a short pause. "To your fathers?"

She nodded.

"He did this to you?"

She nodded again. "You were right. All along."

Kyoya was a little confused.

Yuuki's voice was small, almost drowned by the sound of the rain. "What you told me to do was the right thing, and I got mad at you for being you."

The divorce, Kyoya didn't say anything.  
"I thought you used me, and you had, but, you loved me and I tortured you worse than anything you could have done to me." A tear slid down her face and over the bruise that was forming. "I'm so sorry."

Kyoya sat in front of her and shook his head. "Don't ever apologise for my errors."

"I..."

"No. Yuuki. Don't." He was firm. "You're not in a position to argue back. But I'm glad you're talking to me."

"I talked to you every day."

Kyoya stared at her eyes, still downcast. "What were you doing all this time?"

She lifted her gaze to his for the first time. Her walls were down completely, as were his; just like it should have been for a year and a half past. "I was learning to breathe."

"Did you?"

She shook her head. "Did you?"

"No."

There was a long pause. "Can you now?"

"Yes."

Kyoya noticed she was still trembling and knew it was probably a good idea she got changed. His mother was petite like Yuuki, but taller. He fetched a sweater and cotton pants from his parents wardrobe and returned to the kitchen. It was empty. Kyoya's heart faltered for a second and he wondered if she had even come or if he had imagined it. He made his way through the house to her old room; Yuuki was standing in it, staring at the mirror, her fingers raised to her broken lip.

She knew there was no going back to the past, but wondered what the future held. The girl looked at Kyoya as he set the clothes on the bed and left, shutting the door silently.

She didn't want him to go. She didn't want him to leave her. Yuuki pulled the clothes on over her wet skin and opened the door again. He was leaning against the wall, opposite the door. Waiting for her. He had always been waiting for her and always would have even if she never came back. But she had.

Yuuki wrapped her arms around him and buried her face back against his neck. This time she cried for the time they had lost, the parts of them that had died. She cried as things were resurrected, as walls came tumbling down. Kyoya held her, afraid she would vanish again, afraid she would break.

They both felt whole for the first time in a year and a half, abused, sore, scarred; but whole, and both felt relief.

"I love you." He whispered into her hair.

"Do you forgive me?"

"I should be asking that of you. You're blameless, pure."

She shook her head. "Just say you do."

"Yes. I forgive you."

"Okay." Yuuki still cherished the times he let her see into him, right into him. Kyoya was like the ocean, hard and unforgiving on the surface, cold and mysterious below; but in whole a living, breathing being with emotion. The only person who knew the whole picture, who had taken the time to zoom out that far as opposed to going in like everyone else; was finally home.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"Yuuki?"

"Mm?"

"Stop saying sorry."

"Sorry." Her voice was still quiet, submissive. She had been hurt severely.

Yuuki breathed. She had taken a giant risk in coming to Kyoya. She had lost one thing for all eternity that evening and wouldn't have survived if she had lost two. But she had gained the world; it had cost her a slice of her life, but she had found what she had been missing.

Kyoya squeezed her unhurt shoulder; he would ask her about her injuries in the morning. Right now, he was too busy picking up shattered pieces of broken hearts, and the process was bound to hurt as memories and time now missed cut into both of them. But they were coming back together. They were drawn back together, it was as if they were each a planet and each a moon; the former to the other and the latter of. Revolving in tight circles that widened and tightened, but inevitable lead both together on an even bigger circle around something greater.

-

_I was lonely  
I was tired, now I'm bound  
My head is off the ground_

_For a long time, I was so weary  
Tired of the sound I heard before  
Knowing of the nights I'm out the door  
Haunted by the things I did_

_  
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade_

_Said I, I used to think the past was dead and gone  
I was wrong--so wrong  
Elements of blindness make you strong--make you strong_

_  
In my times, I melted into many forms  
From the day I was born, no  
I know there's no place to hide_

_  
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light_

_I was broken for a long time  
But its over now  
Said I was broken for a long time  
But its over now_

_Yes, and you--yeah, you walk these lonely streets  
Where people stand--people stand  
And some people just can't  
And I do pretend  
I'm free from all the things that saved my friends  
I was there until the end  
and I know I can take the moon_

_  
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light_

_I was broken for a long time  
But its over now_

_  
It's over now, now, now  
Said I was broken for a long time  
But it's over, but it's over_

_(I was broken, Bobby Dupea)_

-

-----------------

I apologise severely if that was sappy.

I'm exceptionally bad with romance on a whole, not just writing.

So yeah, I hope you enjoyed that.

Many of you weren't expecting a reunion until much later, but Yuuki and Kyoya were desperate for each other and I have plans, being long winded was never really something I enjoyed.

Anyway, liked it, loved it, hated it; please tell me. I really appreciate your reviews.

Blessings,

-pp


	7. Chapter 5

**-**

**Chapter 5**

**-**

_Amazing how life turns out the way that it does  
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love_

_(Inevitable, Anberlin)_

**-**

Kyoya woke up the next morning groggy. He opened his eyes and flinched as the sunlight shafted through into his headache. There was something on the end of his bed.

The man looked up and saw a girl, sitting in clothes much too large for her frame, sitting crossed legged and staring out the window.

"Would you laugh at gilded butterflies?" Were the first words she said. They were like the insect themselves, light, secretive. Everything she said now seemed to some out that way.

"And ask of thee forgiveness; so we'll live." King Lear, William Shakespeare. He knew it was Yuuki's favorite from him, way above Romeo and Juliet and Titus Andronicus.

"What does that even mean?"

"Gilded butterflies?"

She nodded once.

"Why make something more beautiful that it already is? Leave it be so it does not become something to jest at. Let it be as it is."

"I always thought it meant not to hide the things of your heart, don't bind yourself in something that will restrict movement. Let things be." The pressed her forefingers together, the shirt hiding them up to the knuckles. Yuuki turned her face to Kyoya.

He sat up. The left side of her face was bruised and her lip had a short gash in it.

The Ootori stared. "It could mean both."

"It's quite the possibility." She recited the statement they had made a million times at an impasse.

"Quite."

She turned her face away and looked down at her hands. There was a silence, one that told of the time apart, wounded and unhealing. How do you restart something that you couldn't save progress on? They didn't know how to pick up from the past, but neither found themselves caring. Each was there, with the other. Just being, as they once had. Forgiveness was granted, all that was left to do was rise from the dead and stop pretending like everything was alright.

"Yuuki?" Kyoya said, getting up and crossing over to his closet, putting his glasses on as he did so.

She looked up and didn't say anything.

"What happened last night?"

The girl turned her gaze back out the window. "I…um. I went to my dad's house. He…he said he wanted to have dinner." Her eyebrows knitted together. "I thought that meant he wanted me back, as his daughter. But…he just wanted a business partner. He said if I had to join the Cunxin group to repair his damaged reputation."

Kyoya turned around and raised his eyebrows.

Yuuki continued in her quiet manner. "Uh…I said no. I wasn't interested in being used like that. I wasn't interested in the business. I tried to call a cab. He…" She touched her cheekbone, it was turning blue. "Um." Yuuki swallowed. "I need to get a new mobile….Then, I got up and he grabbed my wrist and told me I had to join him, he had drunk a bit; not enough to get drunk but obviously enough to lose self-direction. I tried to use the home phone, which might need to be replaced too, can't remember. Then I left and got in the car. Dad got mad and smashed his wine glass, leaving the stem. He threw it at me, well…in my direction. I don't know. And then…I ended up…here."

The girl felt slightly ashamed and didn't know why. Maybe it was that she had put herself in that situation. Kyoya was standing, looking at her, with a coat-hanger in his hands. He pressed his glasses higher and Yuuki fought the urge to smile at the familiar motion.

"You could sue him."

Yuuki looked at him again. "No, I…don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because, even if not legally, he's still my father."

"Even by birth, he was never a father to you." Kyoya knew exactly what he was talking about. He had never had a father, only a mentor.

Yuuki smiled softly. "Poor little orphan then, huh?"

"Not anymore." Kyoya crossed the room to the bathroom and shut the door.

The girl stared at the closed door, her head cocked slightly, thinking about what he had said.

The night before, he had apologized in the only way he knew how and she had forgiven him. He had started putting her back together as the only person who could and she had done the same for him.

Yuuki started as the phone on the bedside started ringing. It was an annoying tone, one everyone in the host club knew well. Tamaki's ring tone. He had changed everyone's mobiles to ring it whenever he called, it was most annoying. The girl reached over and picked the mobile up, looking at the picture. She felt an urge to talk to him. To hear another voice from her past.

"Hello?" She opened the phone and pressed it to her ear. Her voice small, uncertain.

"_Hello? I think I have the wro…" _Yuuki could picture the blonde removing the device from his ear and looking at the number curiously. _"No, who is this?"_

"This is Yuuki." The girl crossed her legs under herself again, waiting for a reaction, her thumb in her mouth.

"_Yuuki?"_

"Yes?"

Silence. _"OH MY GOSH! YUUKI!!!!!!!" _

The girl moved the phone from her ear and waited for him to calm down.

"_Wait…why are you at Kyoya's…so…early in the morning…."_

Yuuki knew what he was thinking and was quick to quell the thought. "No, Tamaki, nothing like that. I see you never moved your mind out of the gutter."

"_It's a nice place."_

"I'm sure."

"_Where's Kyoya?"_

"Um…" The girl looked over at the bathroom. He was leaning on the doorframe watching her, dressed in day clothes, pajamas in hand. She pointed at the phone and made a questioning gesture with her hand. Kyoya sighed and held his palm out. "He's coming."

She handed the phone over and took his other clothes, putting them beside her. Their fingers touched momentarily and another piece of broken being got stuck back in place. Inside, Yuuki still ached. It still hurt. But she was at the place she needed to be to get healed, and that helped.

"Tamaki?" Pause. "Yes, no, I didn't forget. Calm down. No, mother will fill you in later. Tamaki. Tam…Seriously, shut up for a second. Thank you. No…don't start talki…Okay, no. No, she won

t be coming. No. Ta…Take a sleeping pill. Why? Because your abnormally awake. I know it's the morning. Okay. No, don't bring them over. No, yes. That's fine. Bye."

Kyoya closed the phone and ran a hand over his face.

"Same old?" Yuuki looked up at him.

"Unfortunately." He knelt down and put his hands on her face. "How does that feel?"

"Bruised." He was pressing his thumb on her cheekbone.

Kyoya peered at her cut lip. "And that?"

"Sore." She replied as he pressed it.

"You know, it's not your fault."

Yuuki turned her face out of his grip. "I…"

"Don't think I don't know what the past year has been like for you. I would probably have done the same thing."

"Would you have come to me?"

"Probably. I would have kept the car intact though."

Yuuki smiled quietly. "What did Tamaki want?"

It was funny, their relationship as friends and subtly something more had just fallen back, as if it was supposed to be. As if they had been drawn back together and nothing could stop it. Nothing could prevent them from forgiving the other, from beginning to heal the other, from stopping them finding the niche where they fit perfectly into the other.

"Tamaki forgot and then Tamaki wanted to see you."

"He's coming here?"

"Yes."

Yuuki waved her long sleeves in his face shyly. "Where's my real shirt?"

"It's just Tamaki."

"You're a boy."

"Yes."

"You don't get it, it's bad being like this in front of me." She didn't say it was bad being dressed like that in front of him, he was part of her again and always had been.

"You don't like my mother's clothes?"

"She's taller than I am."

"That's not very hard, Yuuki."

She frowned and tried rolling up the sleeves. "Where are your parents? And brothers?"

"Osaka, all of them for a conference. And…married, engaged."

Softer reply than usual. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"I missed a lot." Yuuki looked down again.

Kyoya sat beside her. "You did, I did too."

"I'm sorry."

He frowned at her. "Stop saying that."

"Sor…" Yuuki paused. "Apologies."

"And all abbreviations, synonyms and adjectives." Pause. "And different languages."

"Okay."

Pause. "I'm sorry." Kyoya looked at her.

"For what?"

"For…being your father."

"If you were my father then this is exceptionally wrong. And probably against the law."

Kyoya smiled, she still had her old wit, even though it was dampened by the evening. "You know what I mean."

Yuuki didn't say anything. "You…It hurt, yes. But running away hurt more, and made me as bad as you."

Silence. Testing the threads was a hard thing to do. Choosing one to pick up was slightly harder.

Yuuki was still afraid of someone getting close to her. So she inadvertently put an arm's length between the deep and meaningful and the silence. "Try saying abbreviation as an abbreviation."

"Like…remove the vowels?" She was still the only person who he would question.

"Abbrvtn." The noise came out more like an 'abfshin' than anything else.

Kyoya did it perfectly. Yuuki scowled and stood up, fighting the long pant legs as she did so.

-

The blonde burst into the kitchen where the pair were sitting, staring at each other over a cup of tea; in perfect silence that shattered in an instant.

"YUUUUUKI!" He threw his arms around the girl from behind. She chocked on her drink.

"Tamaki, don't pull her shoulder." Kyoya said sternly.

"Why?" Tamaki spun the girl's stool around and hugged her again, preparing to sweep her off her feet and into the air.

"If you undo my stitches, then you'll have to get some."

"Stitches?" The blonde looked at Yuuki, his hands under her armpits and her feet off the ground. She looked remarkably uncomfortable. He noticed the bruising on her face for the first time.

"Did mother do that?" Tamaki accused. "If he did, daddy wants a divorce."

"No." Yuuki's voice was quiet. "He didn't. Can I sit down?"

Tamaki put her back on the seat and leaned on the counter. "What happened?"

"She drove into a lamppost." Kyoya said flatly, not revealing the whole story.

"As in, the lamppost down the street?"

"Most likely."

Tamaki's eyes went wide. "Wow. I can see why you're so banged up. Did you face-plant the dash or something? I thought cars had airbags now days." Still as ignorant as ever. Good old Tamaki.

"Sorry." Kyoya addressed Yuuki.

She smiled softly at him, telling him not to worry. She had changed like that, she learnt to take flak, carry it and never give it away. A self-reliant, self-destruction method.

"Oh!" The blonde exploded again, this time on a completely different topic. "What are you doing in March next year?" He gripped Yuuki's shoulders.

"Um…I don't know." She was somewhat confused.

"Well, you do now!" Tamaki stood valiantly. "Haruhi needs a maid of honor and your swelling and bruising will be long gone by then!"

Yuuki's eyes went wide. "Who's she marrying?"

Suoh's face fell and he disappeared to a corner.

"Oh." She realized that he was the groom. Yuuki looked at Kyoya who was staring at Tamaki blankly. "Did…I…?"

"Yes. But he'll get over it."

"Okay." There was a long pause as the pair looked at the blonde. "You sure?"

"Same old remember?"

-

An hour later Yuuki realized something and swore in German.

"What?" Tamaki, having regained his usual persona, looked somewhat offended.

"I have a lecture today." She ran a hand through her hair.

"You don't go to university…"

"For the Olympic squad. And I had a session with Tachi."

"Tachi?"

Kyoya could see Tamaki was thinking about the sword type, not the name. "Use the phone."

The girl disappeared and the blonde leant back. She was your sweetest downfall." He smiled at his friend.

Kyoya didn't understand.

"Yuuki brought you down to a place where you are now…human."

"Oh. That downfall."

"Yes." Tamaki put his forefinger and thumb on his chin and looked thoughtful. "Though, that could be called a kamikaze."

Kyoya glared. "Yes, thank you Tamaki."

"And she forgave you so readily? It took me weeks."

"That's what I was thinking."

"She was always to kind for her own good."

Kyoya glared again. Somewhat pissed. "She was more apologetic than anything else. She forgave me a long time ago…" She had said so on graduation. "…she was to hurt to stay and couldn't forgive herself."

"Yuuki did nothing wrong."

"I know."

"So she just…came back?"

"Yes."

"Wow." Pause. Wait for it. "THAT'S SO ROMANTIC!"

Kyoya didn't flinch, he knew that was coming. "No, it hurt Tamaki."

The blonde deflated. "It hurt? For her to come back so easily?"

"No one said picking up the pieces of a shattered heart wouldn't."

Tamaki put his compassionate eyes on. "I'll help you. I see you need my help. I'll help you."

"No. I don't need your help."

"Who's do you need?"

Pause. "Yuuki's"

The girl reappeared silently, her socked feet making little cotton noises on the marble.

Kyoya turned around. "What did you tell them?"

"I was in a car accident."

"And?"

"They said not to come back because they knew I would ride if I did. They won't open the gates for me for a week and they'll keep Zero fit on a lunge line." She recalled, slightly downcast and not being able to ride.

Tamaki beamed. "A whole week for you two to make up!" He put his forefinger and thumb to his chin and thought. "We really should document it…If Jessica Simpson and that guy could do it, then you can to."

"No, no. Cameras, no." Yuuki said as she sat down quietly. She wasn't going to outright send Tamaki to his corner again by saying no point blank at his awful idea.

"It's an awful idea, Tamaki." Kyoya said. Doing what Yuuki had tried not to.

The blonde's face fell, but then lit up again. "Well, I'll hire someone to write a book."

"No."

He crossed his arms and pouted. "Fine."

Kyoya smiled. Perfect. A week was more than enough time to relearn her, to begin to understand her mysteries again and give her clues to his. Yuuki looked at Kyoya; she was amazed to find him so interested in her life after she soon had hurt him so much. The Ootori looked back, stunned to find her so open to share her past with him. Especially when theirs had ended so badly, fortunately not badly enough to prevent a smooth, new beginning. He counted his blessings at having Yuuki back, so soon, so accepting, so much the same with a few more interesting stories and a few more mysteries to unlock. They had both lived in an arid desert without the other and accepted the change they had been waiting, hoping, dreaming for. Each night they had said their apologies to the darkness and each morning awoken to the realization that the only time they had seen the other was in a dream. Nothing, no hurt or challenge could break that bond, no matter how hard it had been severed.

Kyoya smiled at her, but something inside him clicked. He didn't know if he had her back. She was holding things back, she was running from something and yet she was to much the same. It was not right. She was hiding. Broken. Afraid. Something in Yuuki had altered, and he could not work out what, not when she was trying to lay foundations of an old life on top of the new. Things didn't work like that. He knew for a fact that it wouldn't work. Picking up broken pieces wouldn't work. He had tried when she had left, tried to go on as if she hadn't existed and it tugged at him inside, hurting him daily. Yuuki was too fragile, too lost. Things had happened to her that fogged her vision. She needed to set a new foundation, and she had chosen him to help. But she could not choose the past, it was gone and had left behind its scars; one could not get it back.

-

Yuuki wondered how long Tamaki could keep a secret. She disappeared to her room after the blonde left, to used to being alone to suddenly be bombarded with emotions and company she had forgotten how to handle. On her way there, she picked up the photo-album from the sideboard, left and forgotten the night before.

The girl heard footsteps outside the door and looked up, preparing to see Kyoya. The phone rang and he receded into the house. Yuuki found she was disappointed at the fact. She needed him. She really did, even though she had moved off on her own. One could live without the things they need, but not for long. They could go without and not feel it, but not for long. Yuuki had gone without it long enough, but she didn't know how to begin to love him again. Not after she had convinced herself to fall out of that period of her life, a decision that hurt more than leaving did. Kyoya had done the same and found that the very idea had left him with an aching pain. It would take a lot to quell the throbbing and resurrect it again. First, they had to bypass each other's walls again, new walls that came down sometimes but that had different patterns. Holes, repair jobs, alleyways.

Yuuki slid her legs under her and opened the album to the middle. The picture that stared up at her was of her mother and herself. Dark haired, dark eyed, light skinned and smiling. The little girl was clinging to her mother's back as the woman carried her towards whoever had taken the photo, laughing and probably trying to tell them to stop; just as Yuuki would have done.

The girl smiled and ran a finger over their faces. She had lost before, felt the sort of pain she had felt before; only in a different form. In a familial form, not a romantic one. Yuuki had had no choice but to survive the last time. She could survive it. Only this time around, she didn't want to.

She turned the page and reached the back of the book. On the black background was a newspaper clipping, pressed hard against the leather.

_Two dead, one horse, truck driver in shock._

Yuuki lifted the paper out. _Two dead._ The misprint. Or not so much to her father.

"_Yuuki...I lost you as a child the day you let your mother ride in front of that truck."_

The girl swallowed, finding it ironic that she could go on living but be considered dead. Lost. Gone. Forgotten. Worthless as the life she had once occupied. Yuuki put the scrap back where it had been found and closed the book. There was a soft thud as the photographs collapsed on the backing.

'_Thud.' That's all you can hear when bodies collapse onto tar. There are other noises, louder noises that you know are there, but all you recognize is 'thud.' It signifies the fall of man. The fall of life. Failure. _

_Yuuki slid across the tarmac, not noticing as the skin on her hands was left behind in the uneven surface. Not noticing her mother slid into a ditch on the side of the road. All the girl could see was a truck. Not the middle of the truck, but the lines of the wheels, the weight pressing on them. The horse screamed as it fought to get up. It was rolling on her. Breaking her. And she was powerless to do anything about it. The wheels stopped spinning, gripping, yelling, crying out in rubber voices as they warned her out of the way. Yuuki turned her face and saw her mother, her hands clinging to the edge of the ditch, her face covered in mud as she tried to get out. Tried to save her loved one. _

_The girl looked away and saw the detailing of the tyre grips and suddenly everything went white. _

_Things rewound. _

_She was clinging to the edge of the ditch, her face covered in mud as she tried to get out. Tried to save her loved one._

"_No mamma, don't leave me." She whispered as she relieved the moment. Her little girl voice sounded odd, like what a father hears when his grown daughter announces she's engaged. "You'd like him mamma."_

_The woman spoke before turning away. "You'd have never have met him."_

_White._

Yuuki sat up with a start. Her breath was short. The room was dark.

She swallowed. _You'd have never have met him._ It was true, painfully, vividly true. Without one death she would not have lived a shadow existence to find the light. Not have died unto herself and been brought back. She needed them both.

Yuuki slid her feet out from under the blanket and wondered how she had got from above to below. The photo album had been moved from the end of the bed to the bedside table. The girl moved softly across the room. He must have come to see her and found her lost to the world, just as she had been the night before only in a sedate manner. A peaceful manner. He knew that confusion, that pain. He dealt with it in his own manner, calculating and closed.

Both had locked their hearts away to prevent them from getting hurt again and had opened the box last night to let the other know it was still there. The key was available if they were willing to come get it, willing to convince the other that it was worth the handover. First they had to convince themselves that their hearts were worth the others; neither felt worthy. Both felt blemished by the past. Ghosts. Scarred. Tormented. Following orders. They knew that to love was to be vulnerable. That loving anything meant that their hearts would certainty be wrung and possibly broken; so soon after they had begun the process of repairing it. If they wanted to keep it in tact, they would give their hearts to o one. Not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully with hobbies, luxuries and avoid all entanglements. Then lock it up in a box of their own selfishness, their own doubt of the world. In that box, safe, dark, motionless, airless; it would begin to change. It would never be broken, but become unbreakable. Impenetrable. Irredeemable.

That risk, was one neither was willing to take.

So they unwrapped the fine protection holding together the fragile pieces and given the puzzle over. Given it in its box and withheld the key. Saying, 'this is yours, the greatest and most fragile gift that can be given by mankind. Look after the box well enough and I'll give you the key. But first, let me prove myself worthy as well.'

-

_In the autumn on the ground, between the traffic and the traffic and the ordinary sounds  
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through  
I watch as lovers pass me by  
Walking stories – who's and how's and whys  
Musing lazily on love  
Pondering you  
I'll give it time, give it space and be still for a spell  
When it's time to walk that way we wana walk it well_

I'll be waiting for you baby  
I'll be holding back the darkest night  
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right  
Love is waiting

It's my caution not the cold  
there's no other hand that I would rather hold  
the climate changes, I'm singing for the strangers about you  
don't keep time, slow the pace  
Honey hold on if you can  
the bets are getting surer now that you're my man

I'll be waiting for you baby  
I'll be holding back the darkest night  
Love is waiting til we're ready, til it's right  
Love is waiting

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name  
I could live a lifetime with you and then do it all again  
and like I can't force the sun to rise or hasten summer's start,  
neither should I rush my way into your heart.

_(Love is waiting, Brooke Fraser)_

_-------_

^-^

So many questions...

Reviews please, let me know what you _honestly_ thought. Your input is invaluable to this story and helps with its continuation.

Blessings,

-pp


	8. Chapter 6

-

**Chapter 6 **

**-**

_The next time you open your eyes,_

_The world might have already changed._

_(Vampire Knight)_

**-**

Yuuki stared at the ceiling. There was a fly crawling across the surface, hanging by its feet. The girl wondered why anything would turn its world upside-down on purpose. She sighed and crossed her arms over her eyes, flinching for a moment as she pulled the skin across her shoulder. She couldn't stay here.

The realisation was creeping in. Realisation that she couldn't pick up the threads of an old life. Realisation that resurrection could only occur on one's own grounding, one's own terms. One could be forced back to life, but never forced to live it. Yuuki still didn't feel like living it. She had fallen out of love with Kyoya, and she knew he had with her. Even so, there was small comfort in knowing that they were both willing to give it another go. One day. After everything that had happened, the girl was not prepared to do anything that would make her feel more. Emotion was not something she was familiar with anymore, and it scared her more than it should.

Yuuki rolled out from under the covers and crossed the room to the shower. As per usual, she let her fingers stray to the necklace as the water ran over her. It was the only part of her that said there was still a chance for what she wanted. She wanted the past, not its replica; but she couldn't have either. Sighing Yuuki let the pendant go and faced the torrent of water, frustrated. Nothing she had ever wanted had been given to her, nothing except the one thing she had torn herself from. Maybe her wants were unreasonable, maybe she didn't want them at all. Maybe she was scared of being given something and not being able to give in the same capacity in return. That's what happened with Kyoya. He had given her something only he could, and she had given him something only she could. A unique gift; but one the girl could not give in the manner it was given.

Men and woman. Life and death. Love and loss. Complete opposites, yet joining pieces of the same puzzle. They were supposed to be. Yuuki just didn't know which way to fit the jigsaw together and felt herself apprehensive as to what the final picture would be.

-

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise  
Black bird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
all your life  
you were only waiting for this moment to be free  
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.  
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly  
Into the light of the dark black night.  
Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise _

_(Blackbird, The Beatles)_

_-_

Yuuki sat quietly as Kyoya pulled himself through the house and to the coffee machine.

He leaned back and stared at her as she watched him drink. "What?"

"Apples are more effective at waking you up in the morning." She replied softly.

"I am aware of the fact."

The girl frowned delicately. Kyoya thought she still looked as if she had been beaten, which she had, but not just by her father; but by life itself. He had had his career, his studies, and his friends to hang onto, to keep him afloat. She had had nothing at all, just herself. He even owned her living; her horse.

"You're not eating?" The Ootori broke the silence.

"I don't eat breakfast."

He frowned. "That's worse than coffee." Pause. "You always used to eat it."

"Lost my appetite."

"What do you eat now?"

Yuuki turned her head on a slight slant and thought for a moment. "Can I have my clothes back?"

Kyoya knew he was avoiding him, keeping him out. She wasn't ready. If he was honest, neither was he, but he didn't want to let go of a good thing twice. "They're at the cleaners."

The girl pressed her fingers together, her hands covered by the long sleeves of the to-large shirt. "Can you take me back then?"

"Back where?" She wasn't looking at him.

"Jokey Club."

"Why?"

"Your job is to go to university and inherit a business, mine is to ride horses and...ride horses."

"No its not."

"Yes it is." Yuuki's voice was still as small as it had been when she arrived. Seemingly tenacious with her past even though she obviously desired it back.

Kyoya put his mug down. "You don't want to stay here?"

The girl drummed her nails nervously against the countertop. "Not...really." She flinched as she said it, as if expecting some sort of punishment.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I own a lot of things Yuuki, but I don't own you."

Yuuki glanced at him as he crossed the room to her. Kyoya pressed his fingers to a stray strand of hair that had slipped across the girl's cheek, trapping it between her skin and his. In one long movement, he slid it behind her ear and brought his fingers around, across her jaw line, under her chin and away.

Kyoya couldn't read the emotion that flitted across her face and it frustrated him. Her language had changed; the one she was written with. He needed to learn it again. Yuuki ran her hand along the hair behind her ear, securing it in place before sliding herself away from him, her heart racing.

An hour later the girl was sitting in a running car, waiting for Kyoya to finish writing whatever he was writing in his clipboard. His face was expressionless, his eyes hidden by the glare on his glasses. She didn't say anything, just stared at a scraping of black paint on the wall of the garage.

"You put that there." Kyoya said flatly.

"I know." She replied. She still blamed it on the fact that he had parked to close to the wall.

"You also broke the gear box."

"It's automatic."  
"Exactly." The Ootori closed his clipboard and put it on the backseat before accelerating slowly into the driveway and down its long path to the road.

Neither said anything. It was as if the night she had come to him had been a self-assurance thing. As if, the last two days had fuelled by emotion and thus meant very little beyond self-revival. Humans are essentially selfish creatures, the pair knew that. It had been survival for so long, not live. Just get through and neither knew how to get on with life. Not without the other. Kyoya hated not having a plan beyond his career. Yuuki didn't know what to think.

"Will we be alright?" Ten minutes into the ride, the girl broke the silence.

"We will be." Came the reply. Kyoya didn't glance at her.

They lapsed into silence again. Understanding quiet. Knowing it intimately and not remembering how to understand the other through it.

It would take time.

And hurt.

More hurt.

Yuuki was afraid of that. Afraid that she would shut off though it. Afraid of herself.

The man standing at the gate to the Jockey Club gaped at the car as it reached the entrance. Most of the vehicles passing through were large; 4x4's and the like, ones that could drag a float and be used in the country. He circled around to the driver's side, Kyoya let the window his down.

Yuuki caught the attendants eye.

"Oh, hey Yuuki." He said, somewhat shocked.

"Hey Rizu, let us through?"

"Yeah sure." Pause. "Yuuki?"

"Yes?"

"People have been worried."

"About me?"

"You were in an accident. And you look kinda banged up."

Kyoya sat silent during the conversation.

"Its just some bruising. Its what happens when you make mistakes."

"Well, your mistake just left. Chanel seven, nine and twelve have all been around since yesterday."

Yuuki thought for a moment. "Please don't let them through. Tell the other attendants."

"That's not up to me."

"Sorry."

Kyoya let the window up, cutting the man's face off. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Yuuki looked at Rizu and then at the man next to her. "You cut him off."

"You disgraced his honour."

"How?"

The car lurched through the open gate. "By putting yourself in a position where you didn't owe him anything, but made him think so."

De'ja'vous. "This sounds...familiar." Pause. "Nine."

The dorm rooms were passing the car. The only empty spot was in front of Yuuki's.

Kyoya turned the ignition off. "I thought you'd have learnt."

"We can't all catch on as fast as an Ootori." Yuuki opened the door. She knew he was trying to work her out, but he was doing it wrong. He was getting to close and rubbing the wrong way.

"We all make mistakes." His feet crunched on the gravel and went silent on the concrete.

Yuuki lifted the doormat and retrieved her spare key; the other was in her jeans pocket which was at the cleaners. She didn't say anything relating to the topic. "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"We will be." She recited.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Yes."

The girl frowned, her eyebrows knitting together slightly as she leaned out the door, not inviting him in but not keeping him out. Just standing on the impasse. "What are we now then?"

"Learning to breath." Kyoya put a hand in his pocket.

Yuuki stared at him for a long time, he stared back. Neither looked the other in the eye, but just to the side. Illusions of what they wanted but couldn't do.

The Ootori cleared his throat. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes." Yuuki waited for him to ask for her new details before remembering that her phone was in a disillusioned state on the floor of the Cunxin manor. "Kyoya?"

He was turning to leave. "Yes?"

The girl swallowed and stared at her feet. "I really am...sorry that is."

"I know."

She smiled.

He turned his head to look at her fully again. "In more ways than one." She knew he meant that he was sorry too, more so than she could probably imagine.

Yuuki nodded and smiled and leaned on the doorframe as Kyoya headed back to his car. On a whim she acted on the emotion that slipped past her walls and left a small gap. The girl stepped out from the doorway and caught his hand.

Kyoya stopped walking but didn't turn around. He didn't look at her. Yuuki felt the warmth of his palm and stared at it. He had been her life force. Her reason to breath. In many way's he still was; she just needed to find its entirety again.

The Ootori knew Yuuki's hands to always be cool. She had bad peripheral circulation and her extremities were always colder than the rest of her. Which is why he adored her heart more than anything else. It was harder to reach, but worth so much more than anything else he could have. He didn't want her half-hearted, self-survival techniques. He wanted her back. Kyoya had waited a long time just to get the ghost of Yuuki again, he could now begin the process of putting the different version together. It was much the same as the older one, only with different compartments, different secrets, new discoveries, personalities, emotions. She was harder this time, but to him, it only meant that she would be warmer and worth the effort.

But not now.

Not when she couldn't handle it. Not when he didn't know if he could either.

Kyoya turned his body as Yuuki's fingers released his palm. He smiled quietly at her, giving her a secret, a riddle to work out. Something to keep her mind off how much it hurt to be back amongst what had hurt her. To help her figure out how to make the future happen as she had planned it, not as it had begun to turn out.

"Goodbye, Yuuki."

"Bye." She stood with her feet together and hands clasped in front. Watching as the Maserati pulled away and disappeared through the gates, only this time, its driver wasn't disappearing out of her life.

He was saying 'see you later' in his own way. When later was, she didn't know. He was different, and yet so much the same. He had a different clockwork. He had two beings now. The ones others saw and the one she knew. They were not one anymore. They couldn't not be crossed to drive away what he held dear.

-

_You've got this look I can't describe,  
You make me feel like I'm alive,  
When everything else is au fait,  
Without a doubt you're on my side,  
Heaven has been away too long, I have come to understand,  
The way it is,_

_  
It's not a secret anymore,  
'cause we've been through that before,  
From tonight I know that you're the only one,  
I've been confused and in the dark,_

_  
Now I understand,_

_I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
I wonder why it is,  
I wont let my guard down,  
For anyone but you  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,_

_  
Just like a star across my sky,  
Just like an angel off the page,  
You have appeared to my life,  
Feel like I'll never be the same,  
Just like a song in my heart,  
Just like oil on my hands_

_(Like A Star, Corinne Bailey Rae)_

_-_

Because some hurts go to deep and cannot be mended. Some scars remain forever and never fade. Some loves remain forever who are held at arm's length for pity's sake. To protect ones self. To keep the keepsakes of the heart safe. Sometimes secrets have no choice but to be kept and riddles have no choice but to go unsolved. Sometimes lost little doves fly in the wrong direction from that which is their love. The world will turn you upside down and lead you to the spiders on the ceiling. The flytraps and the decadent lies. But sometimes, it will take you back, to where you once were. Knowing that you will never be the same, but trying to be anyway. Trying to pick up where things left off when the void is too far to reach across. And yet...that lingering moment and the smell of peppermint remains, always burned into the memory of the girl who fell in the snow. The scent of white must and roses and the engraving of her laugh locked away in his. Keys...boxes...hearts...in the contract but withheld. Knowing the trade could come, if they could find the tightrope across the gulf, and walk it until they met in the middle and learnt to fly again.

---------

Yeah, no one said it wasn't complicated. No one said emotions could lie and taint and blind.

Yet, you all knew it.

^-^

Review please, your opinion is exceptionally important to the continuation of this story.

Blessings,

-pp


	9. Chapter 7

-

**Chapter 7**

**-**

_If I should die before I wake  
It's 'cause you took my breath away  
Losing you is like living in a world with no air  
I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave  
My heart won't move, it's incomplete  
Wish there was a way that I can make you understand  
But how do you expect me  
To live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe  
Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air  
Can't live, can't breathe with no air  
That's how I feel whenever you ain't there  
There's no air, no air  
Got me out here in the water so deep  
Tell me how you going to be without me  
If you ain't here, I just can't breathe  
There's no air, no air_

_(No air, Jordan Sparks ft. Chris Brown)_

**-**

Yuuki sat in a chair in one of the modelling agencies many dressing rooms, two weeks after the event with her father. A woman was painting her for the cameras. Yuuki hadn't seen Kyoya since a week after he dropped her back at the academy, to get her stitches out. She had stayed at his house for tea but left soon thereafter, not knowing how to behave around the man she knew she still clung to.

"Why do you always look so nervous every time I do this?" She asked, pulling out a tube of mascara. "I'm going to stab you in the eye if you don't relax."

"Sorry." The girl replied. "I don't like cameras...I don't really watch tv."

"Then why are you here?" The woman glanced up with a friendly smile. "Is it because everyone else on the team was old and ugly?"

Yuuki laughed. "No, I wanted a change of scene."

"Celebrity parties don't do it for you?"

"I don't get invites to those sorts of parties, or any for that matter. My life had become very...dull."

"Why?"

"I left the spark behind."

The lady looked confused. "Where?"

"On a tarmac."

She paused and thought for a moment. "I don't get it." Pause. "Anyway, you'll have fun on the set today. Your horse is here, that hot sprinter guy is here..."

Yuuki laughed again. She liked the make-up artist. Every time she had to do a promotion, she asked for her. The woman was lovely.

"Okay kiddo." She waved a brush over the Cunxin's nose. "You're off."

The girl lifted herself up and let her booted feet hit the ground. "Which way to my outfit?" The plush robe was comfortable, but not socially so.

"Round the corner, to the left."

"Right."

"No, left."

"Okay. Got it."

The 'hot sprinter guy' got into the chair Yuuki had just vacated and the makeup artist gave the teen a thumbs up as she left the room. Yuuki smiled at her and rolled her eyes before disappearing.

Her clothing for the shoot was overly extravagant. A white dress, cut in the Greek style, with a long feathery train and a white headpiece with feathers hanging off it and stuck through her hair. Yuuki hated it. The photo shoot was for Vanity Fair and was to be done in classic style, promoting the athletes as the god's of Olympia. Zero had had a set of wings glued to his shoulders and looked somewhat uncomfortable.

Yuuki crossed the room to where he stood just off set. "Hello."

The horse stood to attention at her voice; she ran a hand over his nose. "You look like a brown Pegasus."

He shook his head.

"No, I'm not being racist. White horses get skin cancer." Zero's ears flicked forwards and he pressed his face against her chest. "Yes, I thought so." Yuuki wrapped an arm under his nose, trapping his face. The horse's ears stayed forward, pricked up as he playfully tried to get free. It was his favourite game.

"Nice horse." The photographer was watching the pair.

"Oh." Yuuki blinked as Zero forced his head free. "Thanks."

"The guy before told me about him. Gossip line says he owned him, but no one listens to that anyway." The woman smiled, the lines around her eye's lifted.

Yuuki paused. "The guy before?"

"Yeah." She pulled a stray feather out of Zero's wings. "The Ootori heir. Their family is sponsoring the medical supply line for the games, he needed to be interviewed about sponsorship and support of the athletes, etcetera."

The girl stared at the photographer. "He was here?"

"Yeah, just then. You know him?"

"I used to."

The woman smiled. "Ready to go?"

Yuuki nodded, not sure if she wanted the topic dismissed yet.

The shoot entailed her standing on a set designed to look like a forsaken forest with a mountain in the background. At the top of the mountain was a splash of gold with the Olympic rings hung on it.

"So, Yuuki, this is all about the 'search' for gold. Alright?" The photographer lined herself up.

The girl swallowed nodded. Cameras. She hated camera's. She regretted making the decision to be a face of the games for Japan. Yuuki was given a leg up to side side-saddle on Zero. She was supposed to look forlorn and heavenly but couldn't ended up looking shy and embarrassed.

"Good, Yuuki. Just pretend you're in Olympus."

"Okay." She didn't like cameras, publicity, photos; anything really that promoted herself. This change of scene idea had seemed liked a good idea. It would take something extraordinary to get her to do more than a short spread with other athletes for a magazine.

"Relax your face."

"Okay."

"Lean back just a tad. Too much. There, good. Good. That's a good shot."

Yuuki felt her corneas retreating further into her head with every bright flash of light. Zero was getting uneasy beneath her. To make matters worse, the editor of Vanity Fair walked onto set with the journalist who had interviewed the Cunxin earlier. She stood in her Prada and Yves, smelling like a Chanel department store, and stared at the young girl as she tried to look like something she wasn't. She moved behind the media desk and stared at the computer, her forefinger on her chin, her expression hard and unreadable.

By the end of the shoot, Yuuki thought the woman would eat her alive, but she didn't. She approached with an air of grace and a smile the girl knew wasn't real.

"Hello, you must be Yuuki Cunxin."

Yuuki lead Zero off the set and handed him to one of the stable hands who had come along. "Yes?"

"I'm Andrea Hin."

"Pleased to meet you." The girl shook the woman's hand.

"I'm very interested in putting you on the cover of this month's magazine."

"Oh." Yuuki closed up. "Sorry. I can't."

"Cant, or wont? The publicity and pay would be significant."

"I'm not really interested in either. Can I help in some other way?"

"You're just...so photogenic. That nose and those eyes..." Andrea clapped. "It would put the equestrian world in the forefront these Olympics." Really it was because the sprinter was on the cover of a rival magazine and everyone else had left the set.

Yuuki doubted that Equestrian would ever be a forefront event, but held her tongue. "I'm very grateful for the offer."

"I hear you're close to Kyoya Ootori." The editors direction suddenly changed. Hitting a soft spot.

"We were friends, yes." Yuuki referred to the past tense. The future was still uncertain.

"Yes, well, he thought it would be a fantastic idea."

"Fantastic hey?" For some reason, she couldn't see Kyoya saying that. But it piqued her interest. She missed him. It had been to long already.

Andrea raised her plucked brows. "Yes. Said it would be good for you. Would help you come out of your shell."

Now that, she could imagine him saying, even though she knew it was a lie to get her to bend to the editors whim. Yuuki knew Kyoya wanted her to feel better than she had been, despite being back, despite finding him still very much still attached to her. The memory of what had been and a future that could be, but had unsteady foundations at present. "Well..." Pause. "Now?"

The woman smiled coyly. "Of course. You don't even have to change."

Yuuki was ushered to another set. Obviously they had planned this. The girl's throat closed but her heart kept her steady, knowing that Kyoya thought this was good for her. If she was sure of herself, she could hand over the key to her box. She wanted him to have the key; she wanted to know him better.

"Now, Yuuki. The fan will dry your eyes out, but keep them as open as possible." Pause. Andrea stared at her. "Try to look...dreamy, divine, salient."

"I'll...try." Think Kyoya. Think for you.

The fan blowing on the girl was not only cold, but dried her eyes to the point where they were blurry even after blinking numerous times. In the middle of the shoot, Andrea's phone rang. She seemed annoyed, but then a small smile flitted across her features before feigning a mournful voice.

"Oh, that's terrible! Is he okay?" She was looking at her nails. "Well, you call me when it's alright to add the details into the feature. Yes, we want them in the feature. Well...it's his hospital love...shouldn't drive such a powerful car then. No, no, just get me the details. No. Actually, email them to Lin, Quin, Qing, whatever her name is. The one writing the piece. Yes. Send some flowers, and...a sympathetic card. You can think of something to say, something generic. Yes. Thank you. Bye."

Yuuki had been listening, in fact, the whole set had been listening.

The journalist who had stayed for the session dropped her somewhat-offended face and became curious. "What happened?"

"You'll get an email with the full details..." Andrea paused, the gossip on her lips. "It seems that the Ootori son has been in a car accident on his way home. Apparently the gearbox failed, even though the car is automatic, and the brake system didn't respond in time."

Yuuki felt the blood drain from her face. "Is he alright?"

"He's in surgery. The impact broke a few ribs and sent them into a lung or something gory like that." Sigh. "My informant said something about...critical condition..." Something serious and juicy. Nice smash up. Makes for a good story.

The girl felt faint. "Which hospital?"

Andrea waved her hand; it was all business to her. "The big private Ootori one."

Yuuki lifted the skirt of her dress and hurried off the set, grabbing her bag on the way out.

"Where are you going?" The woman cried after her. "We're not done."

"We'll make do." Yuuki shot back, hurrying through the doors into the hallways of Vanity Fair.

Her heart was racing. Kyoya. If he left her...Yuuki's breath caught for a moment.

The girl forced the doors to the building open and stumbled into the street. She needed him. She prayed he would be okay, so that they could be okay. Yuuki realised with severity how much she had relied upon Kyoya's very existence, even when they were apart. He was her air, and she couldn't breathe without it. What was she thinking, being away from him?

People stared as Yuuki charged to the front of the cab line. The man in front was stunned to see her forcing her way into the car before him.

The girl turned. "Can I have this cab?" Yuuki didn't wait for his reply; she just slammed the door and told the driver to go as fast as he could to the Ootori Memorial Hospital.

The girl dug into her bag and pulled her mobile out, dialling the stable hand she filled him in. "I'm sorry, It's an emergency. Please take Zero back once they unstick the wings. Yes, I know, I'm very sorry. He'll do it for sugar. No, I don't care if you feed him that. Just... do what you can."

She hung up and leaned against the seat. Trying to breath. He had punctured a lung. He wouldn't be able to breath, with or without her. Yuuki wondered if they had the same blood type, she would give him one of hers. Just if he was okay. Her hands began to shake. He had to be okay. He had to. He couldn't not be.

"Please hurry." Yuuki asked the driver and slid him a large bill. "Please. I'll pay whatever legal fines, fee's, bail...whatever. Just...drive."

The man nodded and accelerated. Four large bills later and a hefty cab fee, they arrived.

Yuuki tumbled, gown, feathers and all through the emergency centre. There was a sign that said _ER_ on it and she began to clack her way towards it. The pain from her heeled shoes barely registering.

"I'm sorry miss." A nurse called to her from the station she had just passed. "You can't just run into the hospital. Can I help you?"

Yuuki spun and landed with her hands on the counter. "Kyoya, Ootori Kyoya."

The nurse stared. "Are you family?"

"No...but..."

"Then I can't let you through. I'm sorry."

"Can I have the details then?" Yuuki's hands were still shaking. Her heart racing. Her face run white from lack of blood.

The nurse sighed. "Wait." She turned and dialled a number on her phone. "A girl is here asking about Mr Ootori. Yes, the son. She's wearing a lot of...feathers, no, she's not mad."

The woman turned to Yuuki after hanging up. "He's in a critical condition, still in the OR, that the operating room dear."

The girl stared, willing her to tell her more.

She did. "He lost a lot of blood. The man in the other car got out with just a broken arm. Mr Ootori's car went into a spin, it seems that the brake system allowed him to slow but didn't stop the car in time and he spun, hit the other vehicle and rolled twenty meters down an embankment. He was going 80."

"Will he..." Yuuki thought she would faint.

"We don't know yet love. Probably. The surgeons managed to re-inflate the lung but there was massive internal bleeding, broken ribs..the situation is incredibly dire."

Yuuki swallowed. "No...he...I..."

"Do you need some water, love?"

She nodded, then shook her head, then swallowed. Her face paled.

"Okay." Pause. "If you don't mind me asking, who are you?"

"Yuuki" She stuttered. "Yuuki Cunxin, is his family coming?"

"No, they're still in that conference. It ends in two days." The nurse handed Yuuki a bottle of water. "Have a seat love, I'll make sure your kept informed."

Three hours passed and Yuuki sat in the same seat, peering through the giant doors that led to the ER. Half an hour later, there was movement on the other side. The girl stood and went to the circular window, trying to see as much as she could before the nurse told her to sit again. A man in scrubs came out; followed by an army of green and blue clad followers they were pulling a gurney. The figure under the sheets was still, his hair matted and his glasses gone. Kyoya had an oxygen mask over his face and a drip in his arm. A heart monitor pumped out a beat the girl had memorised before leaving him, it was still his. Still steady, even, only this time softer. There wasn't so much to push around the body. Yuuki dug her nails into the wood of the windowpane and almost pushed her way through. He could die. A doctor had come out earlier and she had asked him, all he knew was that the chances of him living were very low; unconsciously telling the girl that hers were too.

The nurse laid a hand on the girls shoulder. "Honey..."

"I...I..." Yuuki felt a tear stream out of her eyes. The first of many. "He'll be alright, right?"

The woman was silent. The corridors were silent. The hospital smelt like fighting life, struggling life, ended life. "Love, I'm not sure. I don't know what's going on."

"He has to be alright." Yuuki's tone was desperate.

"If things go...wrong," the nurse squeezed her shoulder, the left shoulder, the one with the scar he had patched up. "He will always live in your memory."

The girl felt herself die inside. "That's not good enough. It's not...enough." She'd been living off his memory for too long. It wasn't enough. She began to cry. "It's all my fault." He was going to die. Kyoya was going to die. All because of her.

"Shh...I'm sure it's not."

"He tried to teach me to drive and I broke the gear box. He never fixed it even after...Why didn't he fix it?"

He hadn't because he couldn't fix himself. Not without her. He needed her, and she hadn't been there. She had been too selfish, to focused on what had happened to her to focus on what was happening with him. He must have had a reason for using her, he did have a reason, one that faded when he fell for her. He would have bought the world and sold it to the French if he could have just reversed the effects of his idiocy. Now, he would never have the chance.

The nurse sat Yuuki back down. The sun had set an hour before, the building hummed as the lights generated a fluorescent glow throughout the musty corridors. "Yuuki...dear...you're a beautiful girl, even when your dressed like a stork. Mr Ootori told me about you once."

She sniffed. "Really?"

"Mmmhmmm..." She sat down beside the girl. "It was about a year ago. He'd been awful strange, withdrawn almost. I asked him if he wanted some coffee, he was in his father's office doing the bills of the hospital. He said he needed something more sustainable than coffee. I didn't know what was, so I asked and he sighed. I'd never seen him take his glasses off, but he did and rubbed his eyes. He looked so lonely then, in that big room, surrounded by books and the like. He muttered something about letting something go. I asked him what and he said 'nothing' then paused, called me back and asked if I'd ever been stupid enough to let something important go. I thought he was talking business, so I told him about the time I gave my lotto ticket to a friend and she won the jackpot. He said he'd lost the jackpot even though he'd once kept it. I asked him what he meant and he told me about you. I didn't know who you were when you came in, but I did when you looked at me. You looked like he did. Ripped apart and utterly human, like you'd lost everything even though you had what other people would call 'it all'. He never stopped loving you. I was surprised when he opened up to me, everyone here thought he was heartless, calculating and cold; but he's not, is he?"

Yuuki shook her head. It hurt. She had cried to much already, to the point where she was hiccupping softly.

The nurse petted her arm and stood, heading to a vending machine she bought the girl a soda. "The sugar will help with the shock."

It was the same brand Kyoya had given her the night she had come back to him.

-

_I need you  
I need you here  
I need you now  
I need security somehow  
I need you  
Like you would not believe  
You're the only thing I want  
Cause you're everything, everything I need_

_(I need you Relient K)_ _Don't leave me._

-

At 1AM, a new nurse woke Yuuki up. "Go home miss Cunxin."

The girl stared, her head throbbed and her neck was stiff. "Is he okay?"

"He's in the critical unit. He made it through surgery, nothing is certain yet. These are the most dangerous hours."

Yuuki swallowed and stirred in her seat.

"Go home." The nurse said softly.

"I am home." Where he was, she was. Home is where the heart is. That's where her heart was.

The nurse sighed. "We get a few people like you."

"Like me?" Yuuki rubbed her eye, feeling her eyelashes crinkle as the mascara cracked.

"The ones who hold vigil."

The girl rolled her neck. "You would too."

"Not unless I had someone to hold it for."

Yuuki stared at the doors. "Can I see him?"

"You're not family, I'm sorry."

"Can I just stand at the door?"

"The first night is the most dangerous."

Yuuki looked at the woman.

The nurse smiled softly. "Okay, but don't tell anyone."

She led the girl through the big doors and into the body of the hospital. There was a row of wards; close to the OR, that housed the emergency patients. The ninth door was Kyoya's. Yuuki looked through the glass window that formed the wall of his suit. He was just a silhouette on the bed. Still. Unmoving. Cold. The heart monitor beeped steadily, but slowly. A vile of blood was hung next to the bed, administering a transfusion. Blood type AB in Japanese culture was cool, controlled and rational. But they were human too, fragile. Breakable. Things happened fast, worlds were shattered in an instant without build up. Climax could be reached in an instant.

Yuuki put her thumb nail in her mouth and stared at Kyoya. Begging him to move slightly. Just watching over him.

-

_I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever, I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven. __If you leave me tonight, I'll wake up alone, don't tell me I will make it on my own, don't leave me tonight, this heart will turn to stone and sing till it dies if you leave me tonight. I don't need nothin' else, All I need is you, Why don't you just stay with me?__ (Guardian Angel; Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)_ _(Stay close, don't go; Secondhand Serenade.) (Stay, Neyo)_

_-_

An hour into her stand by the window, Yuuki had to take her shoes off. The exhaustion hit her. She leant her forehead against the cool glass and blinked, her eyes had been abused that day. In frustration, she tugged the headpiece off and dropped it in a nearby bin. She had no idea how to get the other ornaments from her hair and didn't want to risk ending up in hospital herself trying to get them out.

Another hour later, something stirred Yuuki back to life. The steady beeping had broken and become palpitating. The girl felt her own heartbeat speed up and become erratic, only hers didn't slow drastically after a minute. The monitor went wild, beeping fast and loud. Yuuki was pushed aside by a team of doctors who had been on the night watch, ensuring their boss had the best medical attention. The lights in the room flew on.

There was shouting, pulling things, stabbing things, ordering, prodding, forcing. The doctor in charge noticed Yuuki in the window, staring in horror, and ordered a nurse to pull the blinds. She was cut off.

In his state, Kyoya saw an angel. A girl dressed in white with feathers in her hair. Staring at him from the window, a diamond traced her face. She was beautiful. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to touch her, hold her, know her secrets. To hold her life, fragile and gentle, soft and captivating, against his own. To know the beats of her heart. He wondered if angels had hearts, he wondered if he would ever find out.

In his state, Kyoya saw an angel. A girl dressed in white with feathers in her hair and a diamond in her eyes.

Nothing.

The girl pressed a hand to the glass, the noises still carried through. The nurse from the station appeared and pulled her away.

Yuuki couldn't breathe. It was as if her life force had been cut off. Had died. She froze. He was her air. And he was gone.

-

_Leave all you've found  
that's keeping your heart on the ground  
just come back to me  
__So afraid for love to come around your heart again  
when it's the only thing you need  
just come back to me  
Calling out your name  
wishing you could do the same  
just come back to me  
whatever it takes  
I will wait until my dying day  
just come back to me  
so afraid for love to come around your heart again  
when it's the only thing you need  
just come back to me  
this is my only hope  
that the love that will not let me go  
will find its way back into your life  
so I will not close my eyes  
until I see you by my side  
loving me tonight  
If I hold out my hand  
would it change where you're standing now?  
Just come back to me_

_(Just come back to me, Trading Yesterday)_

_-_

The nurse handed her a cup of water and sat her firmly in the seat she had occupied for hours. "Calm down."

The girl hiccupped and trembled. "He..."  
"The doctors are working on it."

"Where's his father?" Why was he alone? If she couldn't be with him, someone should..."  
"He's in Osaka."

"Does he know?" Her voice shook violently.

"He said to call if things took a turn for the worse."

Yuuki looked up; another nurse was on the phone. "Is..."

"Yes." The woman followed her gaze.  
The girl shook her head. "Kyoya can't..." she couldn't say the word.

"He can die, but so do we all." The nurse pulled a feather from Yuuki's dress. "We're all fragile."

"No. No. He's not allowed to. I'll kill him if he dies. I'll kill him." The Cunxin lapsed into shock again.

The nurse's face broke down for a second and then rebuilt itself. She was trained to deal with loss. "Let's hope you never get the chance to do it then." The nurse knew that she probably would.

There was a long silence and Yuuki sniffed, nodded and waited.

_Could I hold you for one day  
Could I hold you for one day  
Could I hold you for one day  
I need a chance to say  
What about us? What about us? _

_What about love?  
What about trust?  
What about love? What about love?_

_(For one day, Evermore)_

Half an hour later, Kyoya was dead.

Yuuki felt her throat close in and her hand reached to her neck. She knew. She felt it.

She would never see him again. Never hear his voice. Never learn the rhythm of his typing or listen to him laugh. Never. The clock ticked over.

Tick.

The first seconds of non-existence.

Tock.

The second without him.

Tick.

The breaking of a heart.

Tock.

Running out of air.

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

_Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls. But pass it does._

_(Twilight; New Moon. Stephanie Meyer)_

For two minutes Kyoya lay silent, the assisting nurse reached for the clipboard and called out the time, waiting for permission from the doctor to record it. He stared at the Ootori, young, still. Wasted. The man broke the rules. He called for a voltage higher than legal for a post-surgery condition. The patient was gone, so, obeying orders, the others in the room waited for the call.

"Clear."

Kyoya took the chance that his heart fluttered for and pressed back inside through its cracks, through the parts Yuuki had opened. She had brought him back and she could breathe again. He had brought her back to life.

-

_The first time you deceived me, it nearly broke my heart  
What hurts me most was I'm the last to know  
So lately I've been thinking, thinking 'bout you  
I know deep in my heart you had to go_

I can't live without you, heaven knows I really tried  
Girl there's something about you, and it won't let me say goodbye

Girl you drive me crazy, I don't know what to do  
Every night I keep on losing sleep  
'cos when I make my mind up, you smile that smile  
And that's when I know I'm in too deep

I can't live without you, heaven knows I really tried  
Girl there's something about you, and it won't let me say goodbye

The way you turn me inside out, you just amaze me  
You got my heart and soul, girl you've got it all

_Girl there's something about you, and it won't let me say goodbye_

_(I can't live without you, Bad Company)_

_-_

-------

_Stay tuned. _

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	10. Chapter 8

-

**Chapter 8**

**-**

_I hate, feeling like this. I'm so tired, of trying to fight this. _

_I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you. _

_Tell me, that you will listen, your touch, is what I'm missing..._

_Comatose; I'll never wake up without an overdose, of you.  
I don't wanna live. I don't wanna breathe. 'Less I feel you next to me  
You take, the pain I feel, waking up to you never felt so real.  
I hate, living without you, dead wrong to ever doubt you. _

_But my demons lay in waiting. Tempting me away.  
Oh, how I adore you, oh, how I thirst for you, oh, how I need you.  
Comatose, I'll never wake up without an overdose, of you  
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe 'Less I feel you next to me  
you take, the pain I feel, waking up to you never felt so real.  
Breathing life _

_Waking up_

_My eyes open up  
Oh, how I adore you, oh, how I thirst for you, oh, how I need you.  
Comatose, I'll never wake up without an overdose, of you.  
Waking up to you never felt so real.  
__(Comatose, Skillet)_

_-_

"_Tamaki?"_ Yuuki's voice was groggy.

The blonde had just woken up. "Yes?" He sat up and ruffled his hair.

There was a pause, as if she didn't have the energy to tell him. _"Watch the news."_

"Okay...why?"

"_Just, watch it."_

Tamaki took the remote from his bedside table and turned the TV on, the news had begun five minutes before and was reporting an oil spill in the Pacific. "Oil spills aren't a cause for alarm."

"_Things don't happen like they do in movies, keep watching."_

The blonde sighed, contented, and leaned back. He loved mornings. "So...why do you sound so tired?"

Silence.

The news story broke. _And in Japan, the heir to the Ootori Empire is in a critical condition in hospital after the brakes in his car gave out. _There was an image of the black Maserati, upside-down, roughly twenty meters from the road. The windows were smashed as a result of the roof bending in, the bonnet of the car had been forced back, driving the wheel into Kyoya's chest and breaking his ribs. _The only information we have is that Ootori Kyoya has suffered a punctured lung and massive loss of blood. We'll keep you informed. _

Tamaki stared, his happy bubble burst. "Yuuki?"

There was a muffled noise on the other end of the phone.

"When did this happen?"

"_Yesterday afternoon."_

Click.

-

Yuuki was standing outside Kyoya's room. She had stared at him as the run rose, stared at him as the day staff came on, stared at him while she rang Tamaki. She was still there, in her feathery gown, when the blonde arrived. A nurse opened the giant doors and let him through. Tamaki saw Yuuki and rushed through the corridors.

"Is he alright?"

The girl blinked and turned her head to him. "He will be."

"Really?" Tamaki put his fingers against the glass and stared at his friend, the beeping of the heart monitor drilling the reality of the situation into him.

Yuuki blinked again and turned her gaze back to the still figure on the other side of the wall.

Suoh turned to her. "How serious is it?"

"Last night, he..." Yuuki lifted her hand to the glass, imagining she could brush the matted hair off his face. The nurses would do that this morning. "He died, Tamaki."

There was a silence as Tamaki stared at the girl and then at Kyoya.

She continued, her voice soft, weary. "He lost too much blood and his breathing rate slowed because the heart was pumping so little, his oxygen levels dropped...his heart..." She remembered how it had sped up so suddenly, a last bid effort to keep the body alive, to provide it with air. "He's in an induced coma until tomorrow so that his bone marrow can restore the blood count." Pause. "He'll be okay."

Yuuki felt Tamaki's arm wrap around her. He said a classic Tamaki thing. "Why are you wearing a ball gown?"

She smiled; it felt like her face was cracking. It felt strange considering the circumstances. "I had a Vanity Fair shoot."

"Are you on the cover?"

"Not by my own will."

Tamaki squeezed her shoulder and Yuuki dropped her hand from the glass. She was tired. Very, very tired. But she couldn't close her eyes; she couldn't stop watching over him.

_I hate, feeling like this. I'm so tired, of trying to fight this._

_I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you._

Tamaki pulled a chair from the reception to the corridor and set her in it. "I'm going to call Haruhi."

Yuuki nodded and leant her head back against the wall.

Tamaki stood at the glass and spoke down his mobile. He explained what Yuuki had told him. Haruhi had been asleep.

"Don't come in darling; just keep the others under wraps. Keep them away until Kyoya wakes up. I know you want to be here. I know. Yes," He turned to Yuuki whose eyes were slowly closing. "...she's been here since she found out. Yesterday. Yes, before the news got it. Hmm. Yeah. I...." Sigh. "I don't know. Yeah, I will. Love you, bye."

By the time he turned around again, the girl was asleep.

By that evening, she hadn't moved out of the hallway. She hadn't consumed anything but soda and water. The Academy called once, asking why she was a no show at her lecture, why her instructor had been left waiting for an hour and why Zero had feathers in his mane and tail.

"There's been an emergency."

They asked what. She told them to watch the news and hung up. An hour later, Yuuki got another call saying that an oil spill was not a reason to skip training. There was a pause of realisation as the story changed and then permission to take a break.

Yuuki knew that her hesitance to Kyoya was because he used her.

_I hate, living without you, dead wrong to ever doubt you._

_But my demons lay in waiting. Tempting me away._

But none of that mattered anymore. Not now that she realised the two types of mistakes. Those that were done with intention and tried to change, and those that were done with an intention that never healed. Kyoya and her father. The former allowed her to love, the latter allowed her nothing.

By the next morning, the doctors had checked Kyoya's condition and cleared him to wake up. His blood count was up, his heart was beating steadily and his lung was working with the other in recovery. Tamaki tried calling Mr Ootori and the brothers numerous times, only to be hung up on.

Yuuki was upset that they hadn't come. Upset that Kyoya was as much of an orphan as she was.

In her fatigue and frustration, the girl copied Mr Ootori's number into her new phone, not knowing what she would do with it.

_I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe 'Less I feel you next to me_

Late that night, the first nurse Yuuki met, Dora, let her into Kyoya's suit. Tamaki had gone home to console the Host Club.

"He's waking up now. It will take a while, but the doctors are sure he'll be able to handle it. Seeing as his family isn't here...you should be there." The woman smiled and opened the door.

The girl crept over to the bedside and stood over Kyoya. He had been cleaned small external traces of the accident on his face. There was a short cut along his hairline and another that formed a mark parallel to his jawbone from where he had turned his head to avoid the class. His hands had little cuts over the knuckles from where the windscreen had shattered and pelted the steering wheel. Yuuki ran her fingers over his and then up his arm to his shoulder. He was warm.

The girl pulled a chair over to the bed and sat in it. "Hey." She whispered.

"I know that sometimes they say that people in coma's can hear you and that it's good to talk to them. I don't know if it's true, but I was going to talk anyway. Um." She wrapped her fingers around his gently. "...I got really worried. Your next car can be the Mercedes Guardian, the E-type with bullet proof glass. Five star safety rating...Kyoya, I miss you....Oh, you'd be interested to know that your hospital smells like old people. I also have a theory that all children under the age of five smell like peas. This woman came in today; one of her brood had stuck a button up his nose. He was five, the next down was three and then there was a one year old that screamed. They all smelt like peas, except the mother. She smelt like B.O..." She paused her gentle tone and stared at him. Wanting permission to push the hair off his face, but scared of hurting him.

"I also developed another theory...the night you...um...when you...I couldn't breathe....I guess it's a good thing we were in a hospital...uh...I realised that, you are my life now. I thought I could live without you, but I can't and that scared me. Dependence. I don't like trusting, extending myself to incorporate another person, I am my own person, but I am that within you. I want that, to be...with you. I could go on being with you gone, but I couldn't go on living. I have my hopes and my dreams and my own life, but they just aren't as good as what they used to be when they aren't overlapping with yours...I'm not trying to sound clingy, because that's not how it is, I just...I love you. I don't think I ever stopped loving you."

_Oh, how I adore you, oh, how I thirst for you, oh, how I need you._

The girl rested her head on-top of their hands, her heart slowed to normal rate for the first time. He would be alright. She was with him now. She would be alright.

Half an hour later when the nurse came to check up on them, Yuuki was asleep with her one hand in Kyoya's and her other on the blankets, her face balanced on the former. It looked like the Ootori's mouth was turned up slightly, content and happy. At peace. The woman smiled and disappeared into the hospital.

_I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you. _

The first thing Kyoya saw when he woke up was the angel he had seen before. He didn't know how long ago that was, but he knew she had been there. His guardian angel. She had given him reason to come back. She was his life force. The very reason he was alive.

_Comatose, I'll never wake up without an overdose of you._

She was sleeping. Kyoya's hand fluttered where it had been resting on the covers and crossed over his body to push the stray hairs off her face.

His chest hurt. It was tight. It burned. Everything ached. It was uncomfortable, but he had his angel.

Yuuki stirred slightly at his touch, but didn't wake up. Kyoya wrapped his previously limp fingers around hers where she held him. This time her eyes opened.

_Breathing life _

_Waking up_

_My eyes open up_

"Kyoya?" Yuuki lifted a tired head. Relief flooded her. He was awake. The girl pressed herself against Kyoya, just making sure he was there. He went to wrap an arm around her but hissed sharply, not yet recovered enough to do more than lie still and sleep.

"I'm sorry." Yuuki sat back. "Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes." His voice sounded strange, strained, weary.

"I'll ask you my barrage of questions later." She gained the courage to wipe the hair out of his eyes.

There was a long silence. A comfortable, relieved silence. "I think your theory about children smelling like peas is absurd."

Yuuki blushed slightly, knowing what he meant.

Kyoya's eyes were heavy. "The rest though, I agree with completely and would have said the same if you were in here not me."

"I wish I was in here not you."

"No you don't." His voice was raspy, broken like his body.

"Stop talking, go back to sleep."

"Okay." It was the only time he was complacent enough to obey orders, and he was in a situation where that would normally have not been the case. He had her. All of her. And she him.

Yuuki watched as Kyoya drifted into a natural slumber. Words could not explain how relieved she felt. How happy she was. Too many emotions were flying through her. He was alive, he was awake, he was alright, and he was hers.

The girl rested her head back on their hands and let a teardrop form between them. A diamond for him. Her promise to never forsake him again.

Kyoya knew Tamaki had arrived when he woke up the second time. It was noisy. Yuuki's hand was still locked in his. His whole torso ached. The Ootori exhaled laboriously.

The girl turned her head to him. There were dark circles under her eyes. "How do you feel?"

"Sore."

"Well, the doctor needs to see you. So please stay awake."

The blonde looked up, exclaimed the Ootori's name, threw himself at his friend, paused, then threw himself into the task of calling the doctor. Yuuki smiled at him and reached over to press the call button before Tamaki could yell into the hospital. A doctor appeared before he had the chance and the Suoh thought it was magic.

"People are drawn to my radiance!" He exclaimed to his friends.

The doctor frowned at him, wondering if it was healthy to have so much optimism contained in such a young body. "Ootori Kyoya. I never thought I'd have to see the man who pays my bills in this room." The man smiled. "I hope reality is the same as when you left it."

Yuuki recognised him as the man who had brought Kyoya back.

"Well..." The doctor looked at his clipboard. "You will be in here for another night, and then you will be moved into a private ward for a week before you're allowed to go home and spend another two weeks recovering. After that, you can go back to having a normal life. You won't even get scarring, my handiwork is that good. You will however, have burn marks on your chest for the next few days." Many thanks to the paddles for that.

There was an awkward silence. Three weeks off was more than Kyoya had taken in his entire lifetime.

"No sooner though. You broke three ribs, punctured a lung, had a heart attack induced by lack of oxygen flow throughout the body and you lost almost all the blood in your body. You are incredibly lucky to even be alive right now, let alone healing as fast as you are." He closed his clipboard and looked at Yuuki. "Which means you can go now, Big Bird's little sister."

Tamaki laughed.

"That's not funny." Yuuki pulled at the annoying garment. "It wasn't funny when I put it on and it's not funny now."

Kyoya turned his head slightly to her. "When did you put it on?"

"Um...Four days ago, that Vanity Fair shoot." Her voice softened further than normal when she looked at him. It was like looking at a ghost.

"Have you gone outside in four days?"

"I stood at a glass door."

"Did you eat in four days?"

"You didn't either."

The doctor cleared his throat; it wasn't good for the patient to do more than sleep. "She's been living off soda, water and soda water. We told her to go home. She wouldn't even go to the cafeteria." He smiled and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few hours." He turned to Yuuki. "And I'm calling you a cab. Blondie can watch him for a while."

"But..."

"No." He leaned out the room. "Dora, call a cab."

"IT'S ABOUT TIME!" The voice responded down the hall.

Yuuki crossed her arms and sighed. Tamaki seemed somewhat offended at being called 'blondie'.

"Go home." Kyoya said to her, he squeezed her hand. "I'll be fine." He didn't feel it.

"Bu.."

"Go have a shower and ride your horse. Then come back."

"B..."

"Yuuki."

The girl didn't want to argue with him. Not when he was as pale as the sheet with lines under his eyes as deep as canyons. "Okay."

"Good." Kyoya shut his eyes.

Tamaki helped Yuuki up and led her to the front of the hospital where the cab was waiting. "I'll be here. You go and be separated from your love once more! Go dream of him! Go think about him! Go..."

Yuuki clapped a hand over his mouth. "Go back inside and make sure nothing happens to him or I'll have your guts for garters."

Tamaki looked a little frightened for a second, then smug. "Only if it's your wedding garter!"

Yuuki slammed the car door to prevent herself from trying to kill him.

As soon as the car started moving, she felt the weight of the last few days finally fall on her. She hadn't eaten or slept properly in days and all she'd felt was worry and guilt. Kyoya was okay. He was going to be okay. The girl exhaled and laid her head back. What a way to find out you need someone. Sometimes kismet has a hard and a soft way of telling people things, all her life it had given Yuuki the hard end, and at times like these, she couldn't be more thankful. She finally knew what she wanted and where she wanted to be.

-

Yuuki arrived at the Jockey Club mid afternoon. Suki had just arrived and took one look at her friend before almost calling an ambulance.

"Are you intoxicated? It's like...not even four in the afternoon Yuuki. And you're not even old enough yet."

The teen stumbled to her room and unlocked it. "No, I'm not drunk. I'm just, very, very, very tired."

"Yeah, reminds me. Where the hell were you?"

"Sorry." The girl face planted on her bed. "I called the Academy and your dad's into the whole news media thing; I figured you would have worked it out."

The older woman paused, thought for a moment and then went to make coffee. "Well, you could have phoned me."

"Didn't think to." Was the muffled reply.

"Oh, well, thanks." Suki was smiling as she said it.

"It's not like I had better things to worry about. Don't give me coffee, my teeth feel like fuzz."

"Go shower and get out of your Sesame Street outfit, you look like that scene from _Twilight_ where Edward bites all the pillows."

"Don't talk to me about _Twilight_." Yuuki pulled herself off the bed and into the bathroom. "Don't talk to me about Sesame Street either. This dress cost a year's wage for most people."

"Oooo." Suki pulled the tag out as her friend plucked the feathers from her hair. "Dolce and Gabbana." Pause. "It's still ugly."

Yuuki looked at the woman in the mirror and then told her to leave her alone for twenty minutes while she tried to re-enter a world where hygiene existed. An hour later, she was asleep on-top of her bed covers. The next morning, Yuuki went for her morning session, pulled the last of the feathers from Zero's mane and tail and then called a cab to head back to the hospital.

Her instructor followed her across the gravel drive. "Where are you going?" He was clearly angry.

Yuuki turned, still tired. "Hospital."

"You were there for almost five days!" Tachi yelled. "You have the Olympics!"

"I know." The girl stared at her feet. "I can't really work to the best of my ability when I cant keep my mind on one topic."

The man's face softened. "No. I guess not." His wife had died of cancer two years before. "Just be back for morning training. You're ready for the Olympics anyway."

Yuuki smiled. "Thanks." The cab driver popped the door open and she got in. Half an hour later she was at Kyoya's bedside again, watching him sleep.

The man's skin was still pale, translucent almost. He had dark lines under his eyes and his hair had lost its shine. But his heart was beating steadily and his breathing rate had reached a normal level, signalling that oxygen was now travelling properly through his system. He had a drip in one arm and a cut through the line his ribs made across his torso on the left side.

The same doctor from the day before came in to check on his patient. "Why am I not surprised to see you here?"

Yuuki looked at him. "Because you'd do the same thing."

He stared at the girl. "Yes, I think everyone would."

"Have...his parents come?"

"No." The doctor scribbled something on his clipboard. "He hasn't even been awake to ask."

Yuuki nodded silently. They should be here. If she could be after all the hurt her relationship with Kyoya had caused, then they could be too. They should be there. No one wants to lie alone in the intensive care unit. When the doctor left, Yuuki slid into the hallway and pulled her phone out. She dialled Kyoya's father.

"_Ootori."_ He didn't sound pleased.

"Hello, Mr Ootori. It's Yuuki Cunxin."

"_Who?"_

"Um...I li..." She was angry at him for his incompetence in matters relating to anything other than business. He was what Kyoya would have turned into if she hadn't got on that plane. "Are you aware that your son is in the intensive care unit?"

"_Yes."_

"Not trying to sound rude, but, why aren't you here?"

"_I have business matters to attend to."_

"But sir..."

"_Look. I have things to do. If you're going to pester me about Kyoya then I suggest you don't."_

Yuuki felt like she had the other night with her father. "Okay. Then meaning all disrespect, sir. You might have a lot of things to do, but your son having died, yes I said died, should be a top priority on your to do list. I personally think you have your head to far up the money machine that you've lost touch with reality and what bonds really matter. If you have any gall at all and any sense of decency, you will get your filthy rich arse on the next airplane out and you will come see your son who is laying, alone, in an annoying room that smells like air freshener and beeps every three seconds without pause; and you'll do it because you love your son more than you love money. If you look deep enough inside that capitalist heart of yours, you'd see that. He works so hard for you to get your respect and love and you don't even have the civility to show him an ounce of the same. I am ashamed of you. I don't even care if you have to fly coach and miss out on the bubbly from your privet jet, just get on the next goddamned plane and come see your son." Pause. "Sir."

Click.

Proof; Yuuki is grumpy and tired and sick of watching people live out the same steps her life went though. No one deserved to be abandoned and used, not even if they'd done it before.

Kyoya was awake when Yuuki returned, looking slightly lost for the first time in his life. He looked relieved when he saw her enter the room, and wearing normal clothes.

"Morning." He called.

"Afternoon." Yuuki corrected. "It's nearly six."

The man blinked, his focus was out without his glasses, everything that was too far away had a blurred edge. "How long did I sleep?"

"Long time." Yuuki sat down.

"How long?" Kyoya was still Kyoya, needing to know everything relative to himself and those directly around him.

The girl paused and thought. "About...since I left....um....27 hours."

The Ootori's face revealed his shock. "Why am I still tired?"

"I'm assuming that's a rhetorical question."

"Assume away." He leant back against the bed. His chest felt like it had been crushed. It had, but it still felt like it. "Talk to me."

"About what?" Yuuki knew he was trying to divert his mind from business, the pain and the grogginess.

"The outside world."

"I won the lotto."

"Really?"

"No."

Pause. "Keep talking." He sucked his breath in sharply.

"Um...I'm on the cover of this month's Vanity Fair? Don't want to be, but the woman at the place told me you said it was a good idea, so I did it."

"If I said jumping off a cliff was a good idea, would you do it?"

"How high is this cliff?" She smiled smugly, he knew why she'd taken the job and it was nothing to do with her obeying him. It was her trying to make him happy and herself in doing so. "It took a long time to de-feather myself, and Zero. Uh...Tamaki and Haruhi are wedding cake hunting today. Well...Hunny, Tamaki and Haruhi, hence why he's not here. The host club knows that you decided to kill yourself and have been trying to get through all day. Doctors say no to anyone but family and me, oh and Tamaki, but he told everyone your cousins." Yuuki grinned.

Kyoya was falling asleep again. "Keep talking."

"Hm...Stock market crashed." The girl regretted saying as the words left her mouth. Kyoya tried to sit upright very suddenly. "I'm joking. I'm sorry. Don't do that."

He flinched, glared and tried to get comfortable, an impossible feat now that he had aggravated his body back into pain.

"My friend Suki is pregnant. Which means I won't see her much in nine months. To busy avoiding the screaming, defecting mess that will smell like peas. They all do. Boiled peas."

Kyoya smiled softly at the absurdity. Yuuki would never be controlled, never be anything but an individual, no matter how hard he tried to pull her to him. She kept coming back and he kept being drawn to her. They were like Romeo and Juliet, and their story had nearly ended just the same.

She was still talking garbage, trying to get him to relax. "...If you mix Coke with Lemonade it tastes like the way shoe polish smells, I discovered that at midnight the second night, trying to stay awake with a big hit of caffeine and sugar all at once...I was really worried."

The Ootori squeezed her hand where it was resting on the bed and shut his eyes. Comforting her as much as she was him, just in his own way.

The girl didn't rely on Kyoya for anything, nor did he on her, but they had retied old bonds that drew their lives together. Aspects of each other that reached out and attached to the empty spaces in one's personal puzzle and completed the picture. No one had to have a completed puzzle, but it felt like one of life's necessities even though it wasn't. She'd learnt to live without him, but it wasn't living as she had known with him. The same went for Kyoya. He had had to die in order for the girl to realise how much she needed his existence to make her own worthwhile and not just another daily struggle. They just fit, it was not a dependence on the other for life, it was an addiction to the other for reason and being. And they would fight to keep it that way. They would fight even death itself.

-

_I will always love you no matter what  
No matter where you go or what you do  
And knowing you  
You're gonna have to do things you're own way  
And that's okay  
So be free, spread your wings  
And promise me just one thing..._

If you ever need a place to cry  
Baby, come to me  
Come to me  
I've always known that you were born to fly  
But you can come to me  
If the world breaks your heart  
No matter where on Earth you are  
You can come to me

Don't walk around with the world on you're shoulders  
And you're highest hopes laying on the ground  
I know you think you've gotta try to be my hero  
But dont you know the stars you wish upon they fall its true  
But I still believe in you

If you ever need a place to cry  
Baby, come to me  
Come to me  
I've always known that you were born to fly  
But you can come to me  
If the world breaks your heart  
No matter where on Earth you are  
You can come to me

And the seven sea's you sail  
All the winding road you're on  
Leave you lost and feeling all alone  
Let my heart be your beacon home

If you ever need a place to cry  
Baby, come to me  
Come to me  
I've always known that you were born to fly  
But you can come to me  
When the world breaks your heart  
No matter where on Earth you are  
You can come to me

_(Come to me, Celine Dion)_

_-_

-----

_So, liked it, loved it, hated it, whatever. Just review it._

_I really appreciate what you think of my chapters and story. _

_I also really enjoy replying to each of you. ^-^_

_This was the hardest chapter to write so far. Probably because of the million and one (yes, a whole million) things I need to do as of late. It's hard to find time for writing, so if things slow down a bit, it's not because I've lost interest it's just that I am probably incapable of completing things as fast as I normally do. Just a heads up to let you know. _

_Again, I really love it when you review, not just for the support and encouragement but because it gives me something to appreciate and strive towards. So, thank you._

_Blessings dear ones, _

_-pp_


	11. Chapter 9

-

**Chapter 9**

**-**

Yuuki spent the rest of the week that Kyoya had to remain in ICU running back and forth from the university and the hospital. Her instructor, Tachi, didn't care much; it was her gold medal and if she lost it because she was spending half her time at a bedside and much less than she should be in the saddle, then it was her fault. He understood however, he had given up FEI to sit with his wife, praying she would come back to him. Yuuki's patient was going to come back, and in a way, it made him appreciate her more as a person and understand her as a rider.

"One day, you're going to fall off and end up in hospital yourself if you keep doing this." He said as she climbed into a car. "You'll end up in ICU yourself."

She had smiled at him and said that it would be okay as long as Kyoya had the needle when she arrived. Tachi didn't get it, but laughed and dismissed the antics of youth. "Get out of here. Don't forget that you own a horse though. And a gold medal. And a ticket to London 2012!"

The car was gone. Yuuki waved out the window as it pulled through the gates and disappeared from her world into one she shared.

The Cunxin paused at Kyoya's suit. There were people in it. She hoped it wasn't the host club, they would be worse for his health than any car accident. There were three men and two women. Dressed elegantly, clutching leather briefcases, searching through Prada handbags and wearing Gucci shoes. The Ootori group. Kyoya had his glasses back and was getting his colour back, he was looking at a graph that his eldest brother was showing him. He had a pen and was writing on it as the other man pointed at various points on the paper. Yuuki scowled. No one goes to see their son in hospital and asks for help with finance. No one except the Ootori family.

The girl stood at the door and waited to be invited in. Disgusted with them or no, this was not a family you would dare offend. Except in a phone call. The memory made Yuuki cringe; it had probably gone down like a tonne of bricks. But had obviously worked.

Kyoya glanced up at his sister for a moment and did as much of a double take as someone recovering from severe concussion can without hurting themselves. His lips turned up into a slight smile. Her smile. It was a mix of relief, appreciation and coyness. Kyoya from the inside out.

Noticing the slip of emotion, Mr Ootori turned and stared at Yuuki as she stood at the door, waiting to be asked inside. "Miss Cunxin. It's good of you to finally arrive." His tone was flat yet scathing.

"Yes, sir. Bad traffic."

"You drove here?"

"No, sir."

"Your driver then?"

"No, sir. I took a cab."

"From your apartment at the university?"

Yuuki laughed awkwardly. "Uh, no, sir. From my dorm at the academy. It's on the university grounds though, yes."

"Which Academy is that?" He quizzed her, knowing perfectly well what academy. The Ootori's had a way of putting those below them firmly lower.

"The Jockey Club, sir."

"Ah. Equestrian. Still a hobby of yours?"

Pause. "It's my job, sir."

Kyoya cleared his throat, then regretted doing so, it hurt. "Yuuki made the Olympic team, again, father."

"Oh, is that so?" The man raised his eyebrows.

Everyone was looking at the girl. She felt sufficiently awkward. Something blonde ran into her.  
"Yuuki!" Tamaki breathed, waving something in her face. "Look what hit stands today? I was at the supermarket with Haruhi, looking at commoner society again; it's so interesting! Anyway...and we reached the counter and this was there! And I was like 'That's such an amazing photo of Yuuki!...wait...Yuuki?' And then Haruhi reminded me that you were on the cover this month and...." He looked around. "Hello Mr Ootori." Tamaki bowed respectfully to his father's friend.

"Good morning, Suoh." Came the flat reply.

Yuuki grabbed the Vanity Fair from Tamaki and put it in her bag that contained the books she had recently bought for Kyoya. Before the blonde could object, she pulled out a new copy of _War and Peace_ by Leo Tolstoy to distract him. She knew that the Ootori had been thinking of reading a year and a half ago but that she knew he never got around to.

"That looks...long." Tamaki said, taking it from her before she could pass it to Kyoya.

"Its War and Peace, of course it's long."

Fuyumi, Kyoya's sister looked at the book. "What's it about?"

Yuuki loved the book. "It's not really what it's about, story wise, but rather analytically." She took the book back and walked over to Kyoya's bedside where she laid it to rest, he looked at her smugly. Enjoying watching her try to juggle his difficult family. The girl made a mental note to poke him in the chest later. "Tolstoy entwines the themes of conflict and love, birth and death, free will and fate. It's rather poignant."

"And long winded." Mr Ootori cut in.

"Um...there's been worse."

"Like?"

"Gone with the wind, Lord of the Rings to a certain extent, Utopia even." She might be awful at math, science and business; but books were her leisure. Time in Britain left time for the classics.

"And of 1984?"

"Orwell writes well, but it's very...sadomasochistic."

"Emotion is man's worst enemy. Especially in our world."

Yuuki didn't like Kyoya's father. He was trying to find her faults and manipulate them, revenge for her yelling at him through the phone. "Keep your enemies close." She replied flatly.

For some reason, the man looked impressed. His wife was very busy looking at a catalogue for Chanel's new Spring range with her daughter while the Ootori sons looked at the hospital that could have been theirs but wasn't. Kyoya looked like he was in pain. But that was expected. Yuuki just wanted to be alone with him.

Half an hour of Tamaki's raving later; she got a majority of her wish. The Ootori group left. Kyoya leaned his head back and took his glasses off, exhausted by the sudden influx of family, triviality and Suoh.

Yuuki pulled her usual chair over and sat beside him. Kyoya turned his head to her. "I apologise for my father. I never expected him to come. Hospitals are his business, not his vigil."

The girl swallowed. "Um...yeah. It was...good of him."

There was a short silence. "What did you do?" The Ootori tried to sit up.

Yuuki tried to stop him and managed to poke him in the chest, making her happy and somewhat concerned at the same time. "Nothing, nothing. Stop trying to sit up."

"Stop giving me reason to."

Tamaki was leaning on the end of the bed, his forefinger and thumb on his chin. "You did get Mr Ootori's number from my phone...you wanted to reunite son and father! That's so sweet of you!"

The girl tapped her finger on the arm of her chair. Kyoya tried to sit up, stopped himself and lifted the bed higher instead. "You called him?"

Yuuki smiled as sweetly as she could manage. "Yes..."

"What did you say?"

"Umm..."

"Yuuki."

"What?"

Kyoya raised his eyebrow, lifting the lines under his eyes until the skin looked almost healthy again.

"Okay." She raised a hand. "Don't kill me." Exhalation. "Quote. If you have any gall at all and any sense of decency, you will get your filthy rich arse on the next airplane out and you will come see your son who is laying, alone, in an annoying room that smells like air freshener and beeps every three seconds without pause; and you'll do it because you love your son more than you love money. If you look deep enough inside that capitalist heart of yours, you'd see that. I don't even care if you have to fly coach and miss out on the bubbly from your privet jet, just get on the next goddamned plane and come see your son." Pause. "End quote." Yuuki cringed, not knowing what insulting one of the most influential men, and thus his family, would bring her.

Tamaki stared, horrified. Kyoya just looked at Yuuki, the silence stretched out. Then he laughed. "No wonder he was acting like you were a business rival."

"You're not mad?"

"I'm furious." Kyoya decided to stop laughing. He could feel the stitches pulling at his side. "But more amused." Pause. "I want to see that magazine." He held out a hand.

Yuuki held her bag to herself, knowing he could and would turn his anger into maniuplation. "No."

"Yuuki."

"No."

"Give me the magazine."

"No. Its not manly of you to be reading a fashion magazine."

Kyoya looked to the end of the bed. "Tamaki, please." He knew the blonde would do it before realising he'd just lowered his testosterone levels by fifty percent.

The blonde had a short argument with Yuuki and her bag before pulling it away and digging inside. "What's in this?"

"Stuff..."

"It's like a bottomless pit! Women are so interesting!"

Out came her mobile, her wallet, a bottle of water, sunglasses; same ones from Christmas from Tamaki, face moisturiser, hand cream, nail polish, a copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ and a short textbook on Freud. The first magazine to emerge was on equestrian; the second was the Vanity Fair she had taken. Tamaki handed it over before continuing his dig. There were so many things to still find. So many questionable things.

"Tamaki, you can stop now." Yuuki didn't like people going through her bag. You could tell a woman by her handbag. Not true, but you could see an awful lot that she kept private. Things that men knew about but kept out of their world on purpose. Like the little blue box that Tamaki pulled out.

"What are these?"

The girl grabbed her bag and the box and stuck threw the latter inside the former before collecting the rest of her things. "It's for..." she cleared her throat. "...nosebleeds." That was the girls excuse in a movie she had watched with Suki.

"I didn't know you got nosebleeds?" Tamaki was enthralled. Kyoya looked bemused. She had told him about the movie, he had asked for a detailed recall, even though he thought the plot worthless.

"Oh. Yeah. All the time." The Ootori laughed monosyllabically and Yuuki glanced sideways at him. "Say one word..."

Suoh lost interest very quickly and told Kyoya to turn to the fifty sixth page. It was the one he was on. There was a glossy spread, one side of the Ootori the other of the answers to his interview. The photograph was amazing, it was done in colour but with a grey leans over the camera. Everything seemed dull except his eyes. Yuuki stared at it and then at Kyoya. It was like a before and after shot. It was a before and after shot. She wondered how things would have turned out if there hadn't been an accident. If she hadn't ruined his car so long ago. On the page over was a picture of a highway and a crumpled, black Maserati, followed by an article on Kyoya's life. There was a silence, tension from Kyoya. Yuuki couldn't look at the picture. It had been close. To close. Close enough to taste an outcome that was permanent and would never heal. The one that a doctor had to break the rules to prevent from happening. Yuuki reached her fingers across the covers so that they were touching Kyoya, making sure he was there. Something warm filled her palm as the Ootori brought his fingers around hers silently.

Tamaki cleared his throat. "You didn't look at the cover!" He took the Vanity Fair and shut it before turning the cover to face the pair.

Yuuki laughed. "I do look better upside down."

The blonde looked at the glossy paper and then blushed before turning it around. "There. You look very Vogue."

"I'm sure the editor of Vanity Fair would appreciate that." The girl took the magazine back and stared at the picture. It had been taken while she wasn't paying attention. She wasn't looking at the camera, but rather off to the side, causing various pieces of hair to wrap around her neck. There was an emotion on her face that was unreadable to anyone except those who knew her intimately. The photographer must have taken it as Angela had hung up the phone.

"It's a very artistic photograph." Tamaki moved to the opposite side of the bed that Yuuki was on. "You look like a goddess!"

"That was the point." Yuuki hated it. Any photograph of herself for public viewing she hated. Especially the billboards.

"I like it." Kyoya read her mind and rebutted it.

The momentum of their old relationship was picking up, only this time with a different pendulum and different time to swing to.

-

_You and I, we make a grand salute  
stare at each other like lost little birds across the room  
and I remember the way you looked  
I learned how to dance, but I'd never shown it to you_

my love,  
I know I was wrong, but you know that you'll always be  
my love  
stay for a while, while our leaves are still green  
please, for me

I know I tried, but it's hard sometimes  
the roots don't take, it takes a while  
and you pull at the strings  
but they're broken, it seems  
the dance isn't over for me, no

my love,  
I know I was wrong, but you know that you'll always be  
my love  
stay for a while, while our leaves are still green  
please, for me

_My love._

_(Little waltz, Basia Bulat). _

-

Yuuki stayed at the hospital until late, it was the night before Kyoya could leave to go home. The nurses knew that she was there and allowed her to sit in long after visiting hours, allowing her to watch Kyoya sleep and be there when he woke up; knowing how she would feel waking to an empty room in such a state.

Every time he woke up, he looked vulnerable. Fragile. Yuuki would smile at him, sleepily or from behind a book, and welcome him back to the real world. He would ask if its meaning was still 42 and she would say it was before starting a discussion about some part of life. Anything to help ease his pain.

Kyoya loathed the food at the hospital. When it arrived that night, he prodded it with a chopstick and went for the bottle of water instead.

Yuuki extended her hand and received the pudding cup, transferred the dessert to her other hand and extended again, waiting for a spoon. It didn't come. The girl reached across Kyoya and fetched it. He was watching her, an expression of disgust and amusement on his face.

"What?" Yuuki opened her dinner.

"That's disgusting."

"No, it's processed. There's a difference."

"No one eats..." He read the lid. "...chocolate mud cake surprise for dinner."

"I do. Hunny probably would too."

"It's still disgusting."

"Have you tried it?"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

Yuuki laughed. "You might be high and mighty, but no one has blood so blue that they can avoid the menace of mass manufactured dessert cups."

The Ootori remained silent and opened his water.

"Try." The girl offered him a teaspoon of gooey, brown sludge.

"No."

"Do it."

"No."

"Your loss." Yuuki put the spoon in her own mouth and smiled smugly, the grin didn't last long. She dropped her dinner in the bin. "You were right. That's disgusting." Her 'new things' faze always seemed to backfire. With cameras, advertisements and now food.

Kyoya smiled. He was always right. "Told you so."

"Yes, yes, don't rub it in."

"It's amusing."

"To you." She stared at him. Kyoya stared back and for a long time they just watched each other, storing a moment into their memories.

The Ootori lifted his hand and tucked a strand of Yuuki's hand behind her ear. The girl caught his fingers before they left, pressed her mouth gently to them and then returned them to their owner with the soft blessing still lingering on his skin. Kyoya lifted his hand again and traced up Yuuki's neck, to her jaw and then up to her ear. The girl lifted the corners of her lips gently in a shy smile. Being romantic with someone was still a part of life that she found uncomfortable for some reason.

Kyoya retraced the line he had followed and caught the necklace, lifting it so that he could examine the pendant. "Did you ever work out what it was?"

"What?"

"The necklace."

"No?"

"It's mimicry of the Algerian love knot, a symbol of perfect love. But no love is perfect, like gilded butterflies; no one should try and mask a beauty with something else that is beautiful because it becomes useless. Love and perfection are gilded butterflies; it's not something to want unless you have to work to get it. Hence why it's not the real knot; because the real one is for fools."

Yuuki glanced down at the pendant. The way the gold and diamonds were set had always just been a pretty pattern to her. "Would you work for it? Even when it has no merit?"

"It has merit. It took a whole airplane to make me realise that."

"Took a whole airplane to make me realise how low my IQ was."

"Don't say that." Kyoya's eyes flashed.

Yuuki looked at him. "Why?"

"You are not your father's daughter."

The girl appreciated the openness that their relationship had reached; it was more poignant than before but still a constant puzzle. "I know...bu.."

"No buts." Kyoya let the necklace drop and his forefinger pressed to her lips, sealing them shut. "I'm always right, remember?"

Yuuki tried to talk.

"No."

She tried again.

"Shush."

She scowled and pulled his finger away. "No one's perfect."

"Referring to me or you?"

"You look tired, are you tired?"

Kyoya smiled a ghost, just as he always had. He was always tired, always sore, always stiff. But he didn't want to fall asleep again with Yuuki around; he didn't want to miss a moment when she was around. "No, I'm not tired." Not of her. Not of life. Insomnia dominated that part of his being.

Yuuki leaned back in her chair.

The Ootori pushed what should have been dinner away and lay back, staring at the girl. "Talk to me."

It was his way of saying, yes, he was tired, but he didn't want to say goodbye.

Yuuki drummed the arm of the chair for a second and then began as she always had. "Um...hmm..." Thoughtful pause. "Zero and I worked on leg yielding today..."

-

_Those words that I uttered, they were not lies, because that is my wish...That's right, if you weren't there for me, I wouldn't be here...You can ask me whatever you like. My feelings for you won't change. I've never told you straight out but you already know, don't you? I love you more than anything in the world. If it's something I can do, I would take away all your miseries away from you._

_(Vampire Knight)_

-

When she was sure Kyoya was asleep and wouldn't wake up, Yuuki slipped out of the hospital and into the cab line. She fell asleep in the car on the way back to her dorm and almost did so again in the shower. The girl looked at her necklace as she lay in bed that night and smiled, now that she knew it was more than something pretty. Kyoya had given it to her again, in a way, when he told her what it was. It was the last stitch in pulling her back together; letting her know that they had both been fools but that they hadn't ended up laughing at gilded butterflies, they had realised their mistakes and gone home. Where the heart is. Truth was, each had given their hearts away that night in the snow and had never got it back. It explained the gaping hole that each felt, the burning void. They had always had the other, but never the matching piece. Never the reality to assure it. Its why they survived, they had an air supply always with them, just never their own lungs to breath it. It was awkward, painful, strange. But they had survived long enough to pull the broken pieces back together. The scars would still be there, fading in time. Things could still pull apart at the new seam's, which is why they were gentle, soft, adoring with each other; knowing the fragility.

-

The next day, before Yuuki could finish her lesson and begin her vigil, a large dark limo pulled up at the Jockey Club. Out spilled the entire host club, all of whom had not seen the girl in a year and a half. Hunny was the first to give Zero a fright, throwing himself off the ground and into his old friend as she began the warm-down.

"YUU-CHAN!" The little blonde squeezed exceptionally tight. "I missed you! Welcome back! We should go out for tea, and cake. Nothing goes better with tea than cake."

Yuuki recovered, smiled, and tried to inhale. "Defiantly. Sorry I didn't come sooner."

The twins were now standing at Zero's shoulder. "You should have come sooner."

She still couldn't tell them apart. "Sorry."

"You should be, but more so about not letting us see Kyoya." Twin one.

"But we forgive you, for both." Twin two.

"Welcome back." Twin unison. They were smiling.

Mori said hello in his own way by prying Hunny off her and making eye contact. Yuuki smiled at him and gave her silent thanks for pulling the constrictor off her.

"Why are you all here?" She dismounted and ran a hand up Zero's face.

"Kyoya gets to move home today, we thought we would give him a lift." Twin.

"Oh." Yuuki hadn't even thought about how he would get back to his house. She figured by cab, or with the caretaker, then she realised that was defiantly now how an Ootori would travel. "Where's Haruhi?"

Hunny had reached his place on Mori's shoulders. "She's at the hospital with Tama-chan."

Yuuki nodded and began the walk to the stable. "Want to help me untack him?"

Before she could start the job, everything was done. The host club stood, looking proud of themselves and grinning at her astonishment. She had forgotten how they did things. Fast and to a tee.

"Um..." Yuuki looked in the tack room and then at Zero who stood, also in a state of shock. "Then lets take him to the back paddock."

And they did. The Host Club and Yuuki. Just as it always had been when everything had felt right.

-

The group arrived at the hospital as Kyoya was having his final examination.

"Woah. He looks like he's in pain." Hunny said, oddly awed.

Yuuki leant against the door and waited for him to notice her. "The crew is here." She said when his eyes met hers. Tamaki and Haruhi were standing at the opposite end of the room.

Hunny took this as his chance to throw himself at the Ootori. "Kyo-ya! You're all banged up."

Kyoya's doctor caught the short blonde just before he could collapse his patient's lung again. "No sudden movements for two more weeks. No work, no exercise except the ones I have already deemed alright, you are to stay still and rest. Then come and see me and I will see if you are alright to go." Pause. "Have some pain meds." He handed a small bottle to Kyoya and set Hunny on his feet.

Kyoya looked horrified. "What am I supposed to do for two weeks?"

"Rest. Talk to friends. Watch movies. Read books. Play video games. Whatever teenagers do now days."

Yuuki tried not to smile but couldn't help it. Kyoya had never been a teenager. He had done the rare jump from boy to man in a single leap, not landing in that awkward middle faze. "I'll bring you some movies. My top twenty."

Kyoya looked at her. "Can you even list the names of twenty movies?" He knew that Yuuki and the TV were not well acquainted.

"Lord of the rings 1, Lord of the Rings 2, Lord of the Rings 3, um...Harry Potter 1, Harry Potter 2, Harry Potter 3...how many of those movies are there?"

"Yeah, didn't think so." The twins appeared beside her and beamed at their bed ridden friend. "We will keep you company."

"Oh joy." Kyoya did not sound pleased.

Yuuki was at the bedside table, emptying its contents. She handed the Ootori his glasses, which he was allowed to wear now that his scan showed no signs of brain damage as a result of low oxygen levels for a good half hour. Lucky man. "Be nice."

Half an hour later in a car full of mostly teenage boys, a girl who had dressed as a boy for her schooling life, Kyoya was still not being nice. Also known as, he was being himself in pain and frustration. The only thing that seemed to make him sane in the insane environment and the barrage of questions about the crash, was watching Yuuki try to hold the box with his things in it, a bottle of water and a handbag.

"So...did you see a white light?" Tamaki asked.

"No more stupid questions." Kyoya's voice was flat. The jostling hurt.

"Did you walk towards it?"

"Do you honestly think I could walk at that stage?"

"Metaphorically!" The blonde exclaimed. "Was there anything on ... the other side?"

Kyoya stared. "I don't think I ever reached it."

"But you died."

"Legally."

"There's more than that?"

Yuuki stared at him. For Kyoya to say there was more to life than legalities and leisure showed that the event had shaken him up more than he was letting on.

The Ootori looked straight at Tamaki. "There is always more than as is."

The blonde looked confused. Haruhi looked profound. The Twins were planning a party for two weeks when Kyoya could attend. Hunny was contemplating whether or not to offer the Ootori cake, not because it was bad for him, but because he himself wanted it. Mori looked complacent and Yuuki was staring out the window, a small smile playing across her features. Kyoya watched her, knowing she understood where the others didn't. Knowing she would never have to work out the riddles because she knew the answers; he just hadn't let on with all the questions yet. It was the opposite for her to him, she had given the questions and he was trying to work them out.

_-  
I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss_

_(Inevitable, Anberlin)_

It was soon found that Kyoya's bedroom was one only for able bodied persons. There were stairs and pot plants and sliding doors that required the skin on ones ribcage to be whole, not healing.

"If your house was more of a home and less of an art piece, then this would be so much easier." Yuuki was still juggling the box of things from the hospital and having just as hard a time as he was.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up; old habits die hard. "I'll just move into the spare room, it hasn't been used since you left."

The girl shrugged and turned down the hall, the rest of the host club were in the kitchen trying to make lunch. "Okay."

"Unless...you wanted the room back."

"No." Yuuki smiled over her shoulder. "I have two months until I have to leave for London; I need to be as close to the university as possible."

Kyoya followed her down the hall, slowly; breathing was difficult when the tissue in your left lung didn't allow for full oxygen flow. "What about after?"

Yuuki paused and turned. "After?"

"The Olympics." He thought that was obvious enough.

"Moving back...here?"

"Yes."

The girl turned away from him and opened the door to her old room, putting the box on the coffee table near the window, she faced him again. "Remember back that night...in the snow? And I said I would move out if things...got...to...dangerous."

Kyoya smiled slightly. Dangerous is not the word he would have used, but he respected that viewpoint. "And nothing happened." And wouldn't. He discovered that in being around her, working out her mysteries for himself was better than rushing into anything. He understood the theory of _true love waits_ and respected her decision to follow it_._

Yuuki had made that choice, but considering the circumstances, and just life in general, it was a hard one to maintain. "No. But. You almost died...permanently, and knowing that you're not going to be around forever changes things."

"How?"

"Well..." She was incredibly shy with emotion. "Um. It's not like when were not together I'm thinking of not being with you..." Yuuki used her fingers to trying to illustrate, but ending up looking confused.

"You mean that whenever I'm not with you, I'm thinking about when I will be."

Yuuki couldn't make eye contact. "I...guess so." Exactly so.

"And that would make things difficult in that you want to be nearer to me more than you did before."

"Yes." She looked like she'd been scolded. Embarrassed.

"Forever." Kyoya kept pressing, his tone just as it always had been.

Yuuki realised it wasn't a question, she realised that him explaining what she couldn't say was actually him just explaining, saying he knew exactly what that felt like without putting himself on display. She didn't know how to respond.

_Amazing how life turns out the way that it does  
We end up hurting the worst, the only ones we really love_

Kyoya leaned against the wall, tired. His voice showed no signs of his physical detriment; it was normal, steady, calculating. "You know, when I was laying there, in the car, I told myself it had been enough. But I knew it hadn't. I thought I was going to die and it's not like I was proud of who I was. The newspaper the next day would read _Heir of Ootori Empire dies in car crash_ and I want so much more than to be the son of some guy who forgets he's related to the people directly under him." Yuuki stood silently, the moments Kyoya opened were rare and she had missed them greatly. "I wanted more than that. Not in a voracious way, but as a yearning; thinking I wouldn't get the chance for anything greater than capitalist aspirations and a big office with an even bigger pay check. I made a deal with God. I said 'If you exist. Let's make a deal. If you take me, don't ever let her get hurt again, not by anyone. Let someone be with her who can make amends for my mistakes. Let her be the proof of my existence as it should have been.' It was either some supernatural force, if they exist, was going to do what I should have done a long time ago, or me having the opportunity to do so myself. The latter of which would be harder, but is what I always knew you wanted." The man stood silent and stared at the girl.

Yuuki moved over and leant against the wall beside him. "I guess we got both then."

Kyoya glanced at her, questioning her statement.

"Well, I was standing at the window when...and...um...it was like being rubbed raw, like a clean slate. Ready for you when you came back." She locked her thumb nails into each other shyly.

The Ootori turned his body sideways, turning just his head still made it spin. "Is it still clean?"

Yuuki examined her thumb nail. "Yes." Her voice was quiet.

The girl turned, she didn't realise how close Kyoya was and froze up for a second. She could see the fading circles under his eyes, like dark bruises from a past abuse. A fading memory that defined the course of life. Two new people, one past, a new beginning. Just like the night in the snow, she could feel his breath wash over.

_I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first love, that you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time_

Yuuki blinked. "Kyoya..."

He slid a hand behind her neck. "I promise."

Respect. Knowing the boundary. Knowing it herself. Her promise to not only herself, but to him as well. The girl put a hand on Kyoya's side, just over the padding that covered the cut from his operation. Over where they had forced a set of broken ribs aside to get to a collapsed lung. To save a dying person, and bring him back. He still smelled like peppermint and sandalwood and he still held her the same; as if she were a glass doll, delicate and precious. She still couldn't look at him, blushing she kept her gaze on the corner of his shirt collar.

"Does it hurt?" Yuuki referred to the wound in his side.

Kyoya leant closed to her, slowly. "Not right now."

The girl let him run his nose down hers and press his forehead against her own. Just being close. Remembering. Laying new foundations over the old ones. She smelt different, not like rose and white musk, but like rose and sandalwood. Peppermints and roses and hardwood floors.

_I wanna break every clock  
The hands of time could never move again  
We could stay in this moment  
For the rest of our lives  
Is it over now hey, hey, is it over now_

Yuuki closed her eyes as Kyoya brought his lips against her forehead, just below her hairline, and then brought them to linger above her own.

_I wanna be your last, first love, that you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss for all time_

Kyoya ran his fingers around the curve of her neck and back again until they rested just below her ear, his thumb beside it. His head stopped throbbing and for the first time since the crash he could see things clearly, hear them, not flinch at sudden noises like that which came from the kitchen. Yuuki didn't seem to notice. He could feel her breath, soft like a butterfly against his own. Gentle. Tender. She was his angel. She was his. Freely, by her will. Precious. Priceless. Prized. Cherished.

Things were going to be okay. They would be okay.

_I wanna be your last, first kiss  
That you'll ever have  
I wanna be your last, first kiss_

Kyoya began to lean towards her but a loud bang echoed through the room, followed by someone yelling cheerily.

"Kyoya! Yuuki! We made lunch!"

The door flew open and Tamaki stuck his head in. "It's cool, right? None of us except Haruhi had made a whole meal before. To the lounge! That's a commoner tradition too, eating in front of the television."

Kyoya didn't tell the blonde that they never ate in the lounge and that soon Haruhi wouldn't be a commoner. He waited until Tamaki disappeared in a happy rush through the hall before sighing in a frustrated manner. Yuuki laughed softly as the Ootori leaned back, the moment shattered. Even so, it was defiantly one to remember. "I don't even have an appetite." His side hurt again. Her hand wasn't there anymore.

Yuuki slid her fingers into his and tugged slightly as she made her way through the door. "He means well."

"So did I."

Pause. "Me too." She blushed slightly.

Two minutes into the Host Club's first 'self made' lunch, Haruhi suggested they try another commoner invention and order pizza. Kyoya made a mental note to kill Tamaki, as did Yuuki. But neither really minded in the end; they had just been as they always had been. Near. Understanding. Breathing. An old past with a new beginning, with better grounding and the knowledge that they were the puzzle piece of the other. Different colours and shapes, but the perfect match. The one that fit properly unlike anything else in the world could.

-

The host club left in their communal limo, Tamaki stood at the open car door. "You sure you don't want a lift Yuuki?"

"No." She was standing on the house steps. "I called a cab; I didn't think you would leave until midnightish. Anyway, someone has to help the invalid unpack."

Kyoya cleared his throat behind her, somewhat insulted. Yuuki smiled, but he couldn't see that.

"Okay." Tamaki waved, grinning brightly through the early evening. "See you soon!"

When the car had pulled away, Yuuki took a moment to get hear bearings. "I forgot how..."

"Obnoxious?"

"Wouldn't go that far. Pestering, maybe. That they are." She smiled. The stars were coming out. "Where is your family?"

Kyoya glanced back through the open door into the house. "Inside somewhere." Anyone could become unfound in the labyrinth that was the Ootori house. "How long until your cab gets here?"

"Probably five minutes." Yuuki turned her head to look at him. "Why?"

The man turned to her as he had done earlier. "Just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Good thing I'm not a cat." Yuuki let him wrap his hand behind her neck as he had done earlier and bring his forehead to hers. She knew his walls were coming down again and she would see him as he was, not as the son of the Ootori empire was. The girl put her hand back where it had been, gently pressing against the padding on his side, trying to heal him without a scar.

"Could you do me a favour?" Yuuki said quietly, feeling her breath come back to her, mixed with his.

"Mmm?"

"Could we try to forget everything besides just you and me?" She exhaled slowly, he was so close. "It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you." Yuuki glanced up. She referred to the year and a half gone and the moment shattered by Tamaki's ignorance. She referred to the moment where there was none of him left but an empty shell in a room full of doctors. "Just you."

_I want to be your last first love._

His kiss frightened her. There was a strong edge to the way his lips pressed against hers, as if he were afraid that there was only so much time left to them. Just them. The tension melted away and for a moment, they just were. Just together, needing the other and fulfilling that desire. Keys had been exchanged. Boxes reopened. Hearts beginning to fall once again.

The last piece of his wall came down. "I will love you even after your heart stops beating."

Yuuki pressed the bridge of her nose against his, the word thrilled her. "I know what that feels like."

Kyoya didn't feel the pain anymore, emotionally or physically. "They do not love that do not show their love. The course of true love never did run smooth. Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love."

"William Shakespeare" Yuuki smiled and played his game. "The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss."

Kyoya brought his lips to linger above hers again. "Unknown." He whispered the author and fulfilled the quote.

The girl got a fright when there was a sudden hooting and a flash of light. She pulled away, embarrassed that of all people; a cab driver had been watching. Yuuki ducked her head and walked to the car self-consciously, one hand where the skin on her neck was warm from his touch.

Kyoya put one hand in his pocket and walked to the door, turning in time to see her watching as the car pulled out of the drive. Their lives became their masks when they were apart. As they would have been should they never have met. Kyoya was always Kyoya, but he was fully himself when she was with him. Yuuki was always Yuuki, but she only ever took her masquerade down beside him. Things were healing. Things were as they should be.

"Kyoya." A deep voice called from inside the foyer.

The man looked up and saw his father standing, watching as he entered the house. "Father."

"Are you feeling any better?" His tone was hard. Flat. Uncaring.

His son let his mouth lift as the ghost of a smile flitted through his features. "Yes."

"Enough to start work again?"

The smile left. "Yes, sir." The truth was no, but the heir had no choice.

"Kyoya?" Mr Ootori questioned.

"Yes, father?" The man paused, he needed to take the tablets that the doctor prescribed, his ribcage was aching.

"That Cunxin girl..."

Kyoya cut him off. "What about her?"

"She's different."

"She is."

"She doesn't obey the rules."

"Confucianism is a Chinese ideology, and yours. It's not mine." It was the first time Kyoya had come close to back-chatting his father. "You had no problems with Haruhi."

"Haruhi knew where she stood in society."

"Yuuki knows where she stands as a person, it's not always society father." Pause. "If it had been my son, no amount of demerit for leaving a conference could have kept me away."

His father looked taken aback. "I will disown you if you ever speak to me like that again."

"You can't." Kyoya turned back to his path. "You need me." He had saved his father's company from bankruptcy when his brothers couldn't, he had showed more talent and initiative and profit than his siblings. He was the heir, the rightful one through hard work and diligence. "And I need her."

Mr Ootori stared at his son's back, pride growing inside. Kyoya was what he should have been if his own father had not manipulated him into the perfect capitalist robot. He would have done better in life if he had been human. Kyoya, his youngest son, was the Ootori with a real heart, one that had to stop and start beating again before it learned how to use itself.

-

_I wanna have the same last dream again _

_The one where I wake up and I'm alive _

_Just as the four walls close me within _

_My eyes are open up with pure sunlight _

_I'm the first to know _

_My dearest friends _

_Even if your hope has burned with time _

_Anything that is dead shall be re-grown _

_And your vicious pain, your warning sign _

_You will be fine _

_Hey oh here I am _

_And here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_Any type of love it will be showed_

_Like every single tree reach for the sky _

_If you're gonna fall _

_I'll let you know _

_That I will pick you up _

_Like you for I _

_I felt this thing _

_I can't replace _

_When everyone was working for this goal _

_Where all the children left without a trace _

_Only to come back as pure as gold _

_To recite this all _

_Hey oh here I am _

_And here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_Tonight _

_Hey oh here I am _

_And here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_Tonight _

_Hey oh here I am _

_And here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_I cannot live _

_I can't breathe _

_Unless you do this with me _

_I cannot live _

_I can't breathe _

_Unless you do this with me _

_Hey oh, here I am _

_Here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_Hey oh, here I am _

_Here we go _

_Life's waiting to begin _

_Life's waiting to begin_

_(The Adventure, Angels and Airwaves)_

_-_

_-----_

Listen to the song _Breathe___by Angels and Airwaves; it's for a future chapter.

: )

Reviews appreciated.

Blessings,

-pp


	12. Chapter 10

-

**Chapter 10**

**-**

Yuuki spent a lot more time at the academy now that Kyoya was at home. However, the Ootori had convinced his caretaker that his laptop would not bring him excess levels of stress, nor would it hurt his head or cause his lungs to inflate and explode. The Cunxin checked her email every morning, knowing that Kyoya stayed up later than she did, and every evening, knowing he would check them before going to bed. They were nothing like the love notes Tamaki wrote Haruhi, they were just the conversations they would have had if Yuuki had the opportunity to come around and not have to train so hard. Often, these email notes ended up as phone calls.

**From: **Cunxin, Yuuki

**To:** Ootori, Kyoya

**Topic:** Riddles. 7:34pm

I am here until you say my name, then I am gone. What am I?

**From: **Ootori, Kyoya

**To: **Cunxin, Yuuki

**Topic:** RE: Riddles. 7:35pm

Silence.

**From:** Cunxin, Yuuki

**To: **Ootori, Kyoya

**Topic:** RE: Riddles. 7:36pm

One minute. New record.

Kyoya picked his phone up from the bedside and dialled her, if anything, just to hear her voice. He could now that he had an excuse. "It's not a hard riddle."

"It took me a whole day."

He smiled in a calculating manner. "What are you doing?"

"I am..." There were muffled noises in the background as she argued with something. "...trying very hard not to kill the microwave."

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's not wrong with it?"

"Is this the one you bought the other day?" Yuuki had bought a microwave. It was her first ever. Her own. And she was very proud of it, or had been until she plugged it in.

"Yes, that demon."

"What were you trying to do?"

"Oh..." More banging. "Just trying to nuke various things."

"Like?" His tone had an interrogatory undertone.

Pause. "Like...the frozen meals that make up my super healthy, staple diet...and...carrots."

"You put a carrot, in a microwave?"

"Well...they take a bazillion years to steam."

"A while bazillion?" She never ceased to amuse him with her mannerisms.

"Yes, a whole bazillion." The attack stopped. "I give up on technology."

Silence. Blasphemy.

"I don't mean it. Did you have a stroke?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up, his voice flat. "Almost."

"What did you do today?" Her voice relaxed and he could see her sitting cross legged on her bed, probably with a bottle of orange juice.

"My father delivered the finances of the hospital. Been going through that. My professor emailed notes on classes I missed and..." He dug through the mound of paper on the other side of the bed than that he was lazing on and uncovered a graph. "...stock market trends."

"Kyoya..."

"Mmm?" He was looking at a piece of paper, riddled with numbers. One of few men with the ability to completely multitask.

"You're not supposed to be working."

"Well, sometimes we don't have much of a choice." His shares were down. His eyebrows went up.

Pause. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Uhuh."

"Your guesses as to my health are erroneous. I am healthy, much better." It was five days after he had been allowed to return home. He had only seen her once since then and enjoyed their light weight conversations. It eased the stress of a day.

"Then inhale deeply for me."

"Yuuki." Kyoya was displeased in her doubt.

"If you're healthy, then prove it."

"I shouldn't have to prove anything to you." His voice was distracted as Kyoya pulled out a pen and wrote something on the paper. A note to self to buy something to boost the economy. Maybe another microwave.

"Exactly why I'm telling you to."

The man rolled his eyes, held the phone away from him for a minute while he continued to write on the graph and then put it back. "Happy?"

"Kyoya. Holding the phone away from your face for a while doesn't mean you breathed deeply."

The Ootori frowned. "You're questioning my authority."

"You're lying to me."

"Fine." In frustration Kyoya gave in and breathed in, triggering a spiel of coughs as his sore lung hit his sore ribs. The act just aggravated the dull throb that had continued throughout the week. "Happy?"

"No. Go rest."

"It's..." He looked at his watch. "Eight O'clock."

"Shoot, really?"

"Yes...exactly why I'm no..."

"I have to get up at four!"

Kyoya frowned, she found it easy to get up at four and go to bed at eight, he found it easy to get up at midday and got bed at midnight. Juxtaposition. "Ever realised how different our sleep patterns are?"

"Yes. Your job allows you to be normal, a tired, unhealthy form of normal, but normal nonetheless. Mine just cuts my social life in half."

"Quarter."

"Thank you."

"Pleasure."

She sighed. "I'll come around tomorrow at about...one?"

"That's fine." That was more than fine. That was something to look forward to.

"Okay. Sleep sweet."

"I'm not going to sleep yet."

"You should be. Your sleeping patterns suck."

"So do yours."

"...yeah...But at least I have two, un-punctured lungs and a heart that doesn't know how to stop working."

"Good night Yuuki." Kyoya smiled as he spoke, enough for it to carry down the phone line.

"Goodnight."

Silence. Breathing. Knowing. _I love you. Stay safe._ Words unsaid, but understood. They were not ready to say them out loud. Not healed enough to go that far unless it was exactly right. Light-hearted phone calls did not allow for that yet. Pause. Lingering. Click.

-

Yuuki allowed Tachi to driver her to Kyoya's the next day. It was his daughters tenth birthday and he was taking the day off.

"This it?" The gates loomed ahead of the car.

"Yes." Yuuki stared at the house sitting on the hill.

Her instructor whistled. "Nice setup."

The girl smiled as the car stopped outside the front. "Say happy birthday to Misa for me."

"Will do." He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Birthdays, anniversaries, mother's day, Christmas; every day hurt when you lost one you loved. Yuuki knew what it felt like but couldn't remember what to say. She had almost been in that situation again. "You say hi to Rich-kid-von-handsome-face or whatever."

"It's Kyoya, and okay." Yuuki opened the door and closed it gently, waving as the man she now spent most of her time with drove away.

Kyoya was standing alone in the door, the man from the hospital long gone. "Rich-kid-von-handsome-face?"

The girl trudged up the stairs. "It was an early rise."

"Huh."

"You look markedly better." Yuuki wrapped her arms around him unexpectedly. Silently.

Kyoya was a little surprised at first, but then he relaxed and ran a hand over her hair. She had wanted nothing to do with him a while ago and now she just wanted him. Just him. The world ceased to exist as they knew it the moment theirs collided with the other. Morphed into a single universe.

"Well, I feel markedly better." The Ootori moved his arm to rest around her waist and steered the girl towards the lounge.

"Breath in fo..."

"No."

"Didn't think so." He still moved hesitantly, as if bending the wrong way would hurt more than he had judged it would. Yuuki dropped to the sofa as if she had nothing left. "I need to leave by three. I have another session. We're just trying to miss the heat of midday. Keep the horses happy."

"So, after the Olympics, what are you going to do?" Kyoya sat beside her. Not expecting her to continue her life of early mornings and no social events.

"FEI in two years."

"FEI?"

"It's considered more important than the Olympics to those in high level equestrian circles."

"Why don't you go to university?" It was a suggestion, not a question.

"I don't know." Yuuki got up, avoiding the topic, and heading for the vast DVD cabinet and began exploring titles.

"You should go." He had always thought so. Knew she could do it well, just as she had done in school.

"Why?"

"Because you ride well anyway, cut your training in half and there won't be much of a difference."

"Cut your studies in half, there won't be much of a difference."

"I'm still learning. You have the same horse, perfected styles."

"I don't know what else I can do."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Well, you obviously wont if you keep going on like you are."

"I can do other things...just..."

"Play the piano."

"What?"

Kyoya motioned the instrument that often sat dormant. "You can do other things."

"I haven't played since I was...six."

"Well, play again."

"You can't just pic.."

"Yuuki. Am I ever wrong?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Not yet."

The girl stood where she had stopped. Kyoya stood up and crossed behind her. Laying his hands on her shoulders, he directed her towards the instrument. "Play for me." His want, his way.

"I don't think so." She turned away from his grip. Her want. Her way.

Kyoya didn't let go and when Yuuki pulled from him she only succeeded in pulling the arm of her shirt. "Please?" His tone was softer than it normally was.

Yuuki turned her head to him, sighed and took a seat. "Warning you in advance."

The Ootori stood behind her. "What are you going to play?"

"Um...Improvising." She set her left hand on the keys and pressed down, gaining a melancholy note. She carried it higher and played the same tune repetitively for a minute, trying to find a tune she liked. After she felt less uncomfortable, Yuuki played a simple tune with the right hand, high up on the keys whilst maintaining, or trying to maintain the left hand. As time wore on, she experimented a bit, hit chords that sounded awful, but in the end produced a not unpleasant sound. The girl laughed monosyllabically and pulled her hands away swiftly after the last note. "That was awful."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. It had been pretty rough, but nothing terrible. "It was fine."

"No..."

"Yuuki. Stop it."

"What?"

"You can do more than sit in a saddle."

She looked at her hands, now still in her lap. "You're more than the Son of an Ootori."

"This isn't about me, Yuuki. This is about how you ignore all the things you can do because you haven't done them in a while. If your mother had survived then would you be good at piano? Would you be studying psychology? You would still be going to the Olympics on top of that." He hated how her father had demoted her to the point where she believed him. "You are more than what you have become."

"I thought I'd done pretty well." Yuuki said quietly, knowing why he was doing what he was doing but not liking it. Kyoya had been told he would never amount to more than the third son, and he had broken that barrier.

"You have. But...you can do better." Kyoya sat beside her, his chest stung and he unconsciously brought a hand over the healing wound in his chest. "Play something else."

Yuuki opened her mouth to speak. Closed it knowing she would never win this argument because he was right. Their wants, their way. Their world. She breathed. "Um..."

The girl tapped a fingernail on the keys, thinking, before laying her hands out on the instrument and beginning a tune her mother had played a long time ago. It was repetitive at the beginning as she tried to work out how it went, but then it flowed. She hit numerous wrong notes, played parts to fast and forgot an entire bar; even so, it was beautiful. The girl had enjoyed it and that had carried through. She had done it for him, and she had done it for herself.

"You don't play well, but you do it with wonderful expression." Kyoya said after the last note died.

Yuuki went to make a comeback but noticed how pale the Ootori was looking all of a sudden. "You feeling okay?"

"Yes."

The girl pressed her eyebrows together. "As much as I need to learn my potential, you need to learn to separate life from business. You push yourself too far."

"Yuuki, I'm alright."

"Famous last words." She stood. "When doctors say 'take it easy' they mean it. No graphs, finances, notes...just relax."

Kyoya stood to show her he was alright, but ended up feeling slightly dizzy. His left lung still couldn't pump enough oxygen because of the raw tissue and was making him light headed. The Ootori sat heavily on the couch and held his left side. Yuuki sat quietly at his side and pried his hand away, she pressed gently at the padding there.

"Does that hurt?"  
"You're pushing broken skin. Of course that hurts."

"Sorry. I'm not a doctor." Yuuki pressed her hand where his had been moments before. "But I know enough to know you're not doing what's in the best interest for you."

"I am, in the long run."

"Yes, yes, Heir jargon." She said softly. "But this is long run stuff too. You can't expect me to look after my future and move on from my present if you won't look after your present and move on from the future. You have what you worked for; a week more won't damage the years to come."

"Its..." He pushed his glasses up and thought through how to explain what he was thinking.

"Kyoya. Your being a hypocrite."

He sat silently. Knowing she was right and knowing he was feeling what had made her feel moments before. It was the unpleasant beginning of a long run plan. "Sorry."

Yuuki rested her head against his shoulder. "Don't be sorry. Just be careful. I can't lose you again."

"Neither can I." Kyoya ran his hand up her spine and to the base of her neck, buried in her hair. He couldn't teach her a lesson and not expect one in return. That's how Yuuki worked. They would have to synchronise again to understand that.

The girl pressed her lips to the corner of the man's jaw. "Let's just...not."

"Alright." No discussions on how the other could better themselves. No more health issues. No more university talk. No more of the past. Just now. Just the future. Kyoya slid his fingers under her jaw to Yuuki's chin, lifted it and pressed his mouth to her own. She smelled softly like straw and worn leather. Her work. He should respect that. Respect what made her happy and gave her grounding. They could build up later.

Yuuki closed her eyes. He kissed her softly and pulled away. Nothing fast. Nothing intimate. Just a sign of adoration and the grounding of understanding. He was keeping his promise. The girl brushed the hair out of Kyoya's eyes. "La vita e Bella." Life is beautiful.

It triumphed through stark reality and gave meaning. Life. Love. This.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up again. "Italian?"

"Good movie that."

"Buongiorno principessa." It was such a simple statement. Good morning princess. Yet it changed the entire meaning of the woman's life. It was sweet and romantic to begin with, but then it was a cry of things long gone that could be again.

A wonderful story of how one individuals love and hope could be a balm in the most frightening of situations. It was their story. It was the neighbors story. It could be anyone's story if they just took down their walls and let the other help fade scars and move on from the past, from perception, from hurt. Yuuki felt Kyoya's heart against her hand where it rested against his chest. Proof of his existence. Proof of hers.

The girl looked up at Kyoya. He was watching her from behind his glasses in a very Ootori manner. Making mental notes. Storing things away. Future references. She smiled and ducked her face against his shoulder. Once an Ootori, always an Ootori. Kyoya would always be calculating, hard to read and difficult to get along with, but he was her puzzle piece. The one that fit.

"Are you coming to London?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Where will you stay?"

"You have an apartment still, don't you?" Kyoya being Kyoya, taking what was on offer when it hadn't been offered.

"Yes..." Yuuki realized she hadn't sold it...rented it...fed the fish...

"You'll be at the athlete's village. So, I'll just use that."

"Gee, thanks for asking." She was smiling as she said it.

"Please?"

"Okay."

"Easy as that."

"Easy as that." Yuuki was suddenly very tired as she let her guard down for a moment. The last week she had been waking up at odd, but always revoltingly early, hours of the morning and going to bed only after Zero had, which was late.

Kyoya was unconsciously playing with her hair as he thought about things only he knew the answers so and the effect was a drowsy one. "Tired?"

"Mm."

The man looked down at the half-dormant figure leaning against him. So fragile. So cherished. So devoted to him even though he deserved none of it and hadn't worked to achieve any of it.

"Yuuki?"

"Mm."

"Where's your phone?"

"Mm."

"Germany's going to win the gold."

"Mm...Huh...No their not." She sat up groggily.

"You don't have to go back to the club later."

Yuuki nodded. "Yes I do. You need to get things done by a deadline; I need to turn up to training." The only way he would understand and let her go at the same time was by associating it with his regime.

"You also need to be awake."

"Well...that's up for debate. Everyone's so stressed. People older than I am are acting like teenagers going into final exams...or like Tamaki going into final exams. You were good."

"I was prepared. You're not prepared?"

"We are. But that doesn't cut it."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

Yuuki rubbed her eye with her knuckles, forcing herself back to the real world. "You're the behind the scenes Shadow King, I'm the forefront runner, not by my own will. You can have big lines under your eyes. I get...cameras...and have to calculate things on the move, compensate, balance, pay attention...never sleep."

"You're not team captain."

"No, I'm team mascot. But so was Caligula when he was a baby." She would be leader if she had to be.

"Rome wasn't built in a day."

"No, it was built long before Caligula."

Kyoya pressed his glasses up. "Alright." He wouldn't control her. It was her life, not his, he could suggest things but she had already told him enough for the day. He would respect that. "I'll call you a cab in half an hour."

"What time is it now?"

"Two fifteen."

"Okay."

Kyoya pulled her close again. Yuuki objected as she just tried to avoid his stitches on her way down; he had pulled in a more dominating manner than she had anticipated. But that was alright, he was warm and there was a storm coming, the air was cooling down dramatically even though the weather was heating up due to approaching summer. Hopefully the storm would hold off until that evening when the afternoon session was over. But right now, it was good just being.

"Kyoya?"

"Yes."

"When Haruhi and Tamaki get married, will it be her first time out of the country?"

"The honeymoon?"

"Yes."

"Probably."

"I'm so taking her to London." Yuuki said mischievously, finally finding a way to get Tamaki back for the other day.

"That's evil." Kyoya's tone was flat.

"You want to do it too. Anyway, Tamaki probably thinks Haruhi's been out of the country before and thus won't know until she says otherwise, which will probably be on landing."

Pause. "First class while Tamaki gets coach?"

"Nah, put them both in First but on opposite sides of the plane, with...you in the middle...and one twin behind each." Plane ride from hell. "Could you put up with that?"

"Only if Mori is in front."

Yuuki smiled. "I like you. You're good at plotting things."

Kyoya smiled and trailed his fingers through her hair, he didn't say anything. Puzzle pieces.

She knew exactly how to lift him up whist not being judgemental or even knowing she was doing it. He knew exactly how to let her fly and knew how to teach her to; she just needed to let him guide her. Then they could fly away, together this time. Be one with the other person whilst still maintaining their own individuality, their own freedom and dreams. It would take a while to get there, and it would be rough. But both knew that the flight at the end would be worth it. A mile high with naught but the hurt of the world below them and the limitless sky before them. Them. Kyoya would give her anything she wanted on a whim, but knew that Yuuki would never manipulate him like that. He knew she would rather get things herself, not liking gifts as she felt the need to give in return, even though she was always giving. Parts of her sprit, her laugh, the almost invisible dimple on her right when she smiled. Little things, priceless things. Yuuki things. He wanted to give her the world, his world, because she had shown him hers and let him inside. A life for a life. Equal exchange. A key turned in the lock. A heart taken from its box. To be cared for, looked after, cherished. To be the others, a gift that could never be fully returned.

-

_Let me be your wings  
Let me be your only love  
Let me take you far beyond the stars  
Let me be your wings  
Let me lift you high above  
Everything we're dreaming of will soon be ours  
Anything that you desire  
Anything at all  
Everyday I'll take you higher  
And I'll never let you fall_

Let me be your wings  
Leave behind the world you know  
For another world of wondrous things  
We'll see the universe  
And dance on Saturn's rings  
Fly with me and I will be your wings

Anything that you desire  
Anything at all  
Everyday I'll take you higher  
And I'll never let you fall

You will be my wings  
(Let me be your wings)  
You will be my only love  
Get ready for another world of wondrous things

We'll see the universe  
And dance on Saturn's rings  
Heaven isn't too far  
Heaven is where you are  
Stay with me and  
Let me be your (You will be my) wings

_(Let me be your wings, Thumbelina) _

_-_

Yuuki stood in the frame of the front door and stared at the rain as it bucketed down. She dialled Tachi.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Yes, I know it's raining; your powers of observation are amazing. You're stuck? Where? At home? I can't hear you...hold in." Yuuki stepped back. "Better? Okay. Can't we use the indoor ring. Oh, I forgot about that. They shouldn't be re-sanding it when it's raining, and so close to when we have to go. No. What do you want me to do? I don't know, if you can't drive, who can? The highway is out?" Agitated sigh. "That's not his name. No. No, it's Kyoya. No...Kyo-ya. Ootori. Yes, Ootori. No, no he won't. Why? Because I won't let him, all you want is a new car. There's nothing wrong with your house." Short laugh. "Alright. Alright. Bye." Click.

The girl headed back to the lounge. "The Academy called my instructor; the storm isn't going to ease up. They got all the horses inside an hour before it hit."

"When will it ease up?" His laptop was starting to hum as it woke.

"They say six." She sat down opposite him. "You're stuck with me for three and a half more hours."

"Joy."

Yuuki smiled as Kyoya began typing an email he had been very long winded about for the last half hour. Apparently it was very important. "You need to name that thing."

"What thing?" He didn't look up.

"Your laptop."

"Why does it need a name?" He pressed his glasses up and looked up at her quickly.

"Because, it's a prominent feature in your life."

"It's a piece of technology."

"Then you wouldn't feel any bereavement if it suddenly frizzed."

Silence from him. Tapping from his fingers.

"I'm going with Dora, or Marvin." Pause . "Probably Marvin."

"Why Marvin?"

"Because...it just seems to fit."

"How?"

"It's a good, nerdy, sturdy, studious name."

Kyoya's mouth lifted slightly. "You are absurd."

"You're preoccupied."

"Multitasking."

"You're a guy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can't multitask."

"I'm doing it right now."

Yuuki stood up to go to the window and continued to speak at the same time. "Maybe your just stran..." _Thunk._ He could multitask but she couldn't even walk and talk at the same time.

Kyoya looked up. The girl was staring at her shin and seething, her fingers wrapped around her leg. Her argument in tatters.

"I don't want to be a told you so..."

"Yes, yes you do."

Smug silence.

Yuuki sat back down. "I'm bleeding."

Kyoya sighed and put Marvin on the offending coffee table. "Then don't try to take on solid surfaces with your body."

"This coming from you."

The Ootori knelt down in front of her and sat on his feet. Yuuki stared at the top of his head. Kyoya looked up. "You need a bandaid."

"Thanks captain obvious."

He scowled. "You're very distracting." In more ways than one.

"I wouldn't be if you were following doctor's orders." She called after him as the man disappeared into the kitchen.

Kyoya reappeared with a box of bandaids and a tissue. He handed her the latter. "Hold that against it for a second."

"Just a second?" Yuuki replied sarcastically.

"You know what I meant."

Yuuki did as she was told. "I don't mean to be a distraction. I was leaving."

"Acts of God."

"What?"

"The storm." He figured that was obvious. "Kismet."

"So you're saying it's alright to be distracted by me, not because the doctor told you not to work, but because god deemed it so?"

"All of the above. Move tissue."

Yuuki held her hand out for a bandaid but didn't get one. "I can do it myself."

Kyoya lifted her ankle and rested it on the coffee table and opened the bandaid. He wanted to make her feel better. Make her whole. It wasn't something they would talk about, it was something they understood. Yuuki didn't watch as he stuck the plastic to her, she hated the sight of blood.

"As long as your here." The Ootori said standing. "Then you're not a distraction."

"Then what am I?" She couldn't stop him working. It was just him.

"You're..." Pause. "An interesting part of life that I can't seem to avoid."

"You don't want to avoid."

Kyoya smiled his ghost smile and pushed his glasses up. "That's quite the possibility."

"Quite." Yuuki replied smugly.

-

Yuuki tried to leave before dinner, but the rain got heavier. The main storm hadn't even hit yet, flashes of lightening were unaccompanied by the rolling booms of thunder. The girl had spent the last three and a half hours sitting next to Kyoya as he typed, or tried to type. At one point she decided to prove he wasn't fit enough to be back at work and pressed her forefinger to his temple, triggering a migraine that was still in effect. It's not that she had been bored or not enjoying herself; but rather worried about him. But like him, her worry and pursuit of his happiness sometimes pushed the other a little too far. Just being with him again should have been enough, but trying to heal him as well was still a recurring motif.

Kyoya was currently lying on his back, sprawled over the couch while Yuuki tried very hard not to say 'I told you so' as she sat guiltily on the floor in front of him, watching the rain.

"Don't say it." The Ootori's voice was stern.

"What?"

"You know perfectly well what."

"I-told-you-so or I'm-sorry?"

Pause. "I was referring to the work-right-now-is-bad-for-you theory, which was stupid until you decided to tamper with recovery. If you hadn't..."

"Yeah, I know. You told me. Five times now." Yuuki was smiling. "I still hold to the fact that it would be a lot worse if you had continued at your business pace."

"I doubt it."

"You would have been wrong."

Kyoya glanced at her and then stared back at the ceiling. "You are the most annoying person on the planet."

Yuuki twisted her body to look at him, a playful expression on her face. "Now, that's hardly fair. Have you met everyone on the planet?"

The Ootori closed his eyes. "I love you, but you really, really, really need to know what buttons not to press."

"Technically, it wasn't a button."

"Technically, metaphorically though..."

"Oh, you were in the wrong." Yuuki turned away again.

"I was in the wrong?" He laughed shortly. "I wasn't in pain for the first time in days until you decided to play doctor."

"I wasn't playing doctor..." Pause. "...I was playing with your head."

"Uhuh."

"Yes, this is all an elaborate plot."

"To what end?"

"A very, very, very large income."

"How shallow of you." Kyoya's voice was flat. Her odd sense of humour was still amusing, but not so funny anymore. Enough to make him want to know more about what was going on in her head, even though his hurt so much. The incident proved one thing; they could survive pain inflicted by the other, and would continue to do so. The throbbing effect had merit beyond any Yuuki could imagine, to Kyoya it was like inheriting the Ootori group a million times over.

Yuuki turned until she was facing him, sitting on her feet. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it would hurt for so long."

Kyoya opened one eye. "I know."

"Then why are you making me suffer for it?"

"Because, you're cute when you're trying to bandaid things."

"I'm not cute."

"Your short, dark haired, fair skinned and slight; your cute."

"Well...your tall, dark haired, fair skinned and...Shaped like a triangle."

"A triangle?"

"Well...your shoulders and broader than your hips."

"Good to know you were paying attention."

Yuuki lingered her finger beside his temple again, tempted.

"Don't." Kyoya raised a hand and caught her wrist before sitting up. "No. You're not cute."

The girl looked slightly offended. "Huh?"

"You're Yuuki...just that."

"Short and slight." The Cunxin crossed her legs and her arms in a stubborn manner.

"You're the same as Haruhi."

"Yes...but..." But she still dwelled on what she didn't have. Perfect curves, height, a tan....

"There is nothing wrong with you." Kyoya was still holding her wrist.

"To you."

"Just because there's nothing wrong, doesn't mean there aren't flaws. Flaws are what make humans perfect."

"Whoa, hold on. You just threw all my schooling out the window...and I can't work out whether to be insulted or not."

The Ootori smiled and gave her hand back. "Remember what I told you about your necklace?"

Yuuki unconsciously touched it. "Yes."

"Apply the same theory."

Love, with flaws, was as love should be. There was nothing wrong with it, nothing wrong with its flaws; and that's what made it perfect.

Kyoya leaned forward and tucked Yuuki's hair behind her ear so that he could read her face.

The girl looked up at him. "Then, you're perfect." She lifted her fingers to his face and ran them up the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up ever so slightly. She couldn't believe she had once tried to let him go.

Kyoya stared at her, his face as expressionless as it always had been, his mind calculating as per usual, despite the constant ache. But this time, the workings within were not focused on medical management, university or profit, they were focused on everything before him. Sitting with limbs that were proportioned to her build and a face that belonged to his angel. He couldn't believe he had once done enough to drive her away, and not chased her afterwards.

The girl dropped her hand but kept herself close. "Is your father going to kill me at dinner?"

"He's going to try in his own way."

"Will it work?"

"He knows he can't kill you, or try to get rid of you."

"Why?"

"Because, I told him that he needs me, and I need you."

"Still the devious, capitalist zeal I left behind." Yuuki turned her head to the window just in time to have her retina's offended but a bright flash of lightening. She blinked a few times, but there was still a white line engraved through her mind.

Kyoya put his hand under her chin and turned her head to him. He told her to close her eyes and pressing his lips to her lids he told her forever. Forever an Ootori, but forever learning from his past mistakes and more importantly, forever hers. Then she sealed the agreement by kissing him. Trusting him. Taking her walls down for him; just as he had done for her. Giving and expecting nothing in return; but receiving tenfold what you felt you had given out.

-

_I'm a woman  
Lord knows it's hard  
I need a real man to give me what I need  
Sweet attention, love and tenderness  
When it's real it's unconditional  
_

_Cause a man just ain't a man if he ain't man enough...  
To love you when you're right  
Love you when you're wrong  
Love you when you're weak  
Love you when you're strong  
Take you higher when the world gotcha feeling low  
He's giving you his last, cause he's thinking of your first  
Giving comfort when he's thinking that you're hurt  
That's what's done when you really love someone_

Cause you're a real man  
And Lord knows it's hard  
Sometimes you just need a woman's touch  
Sweet affection, love and support  
When it's real it's unconditional  
I'm telling y'all, oh  
Cause a woman ain't a woman if she ain't woman enough  
To love you when you're right  
Love you when you're wrong  
Love you when you're weak  
Love you when you're strong  
Take you higher when the world's gotcha feeling low  
She's giving you her best, even when you are at your worst  
Giving comfort when she's thinking that you're hurt  
That's what's done when you really love someone 

_  
Sometimes you're gonna argue, sometimes you're gonna fight  
Sometime it's gonna feel like it'll never be right  
But something so strong keeps you holdin on  
It don't make sense but it makes a good song  
Cause a man just ain't a man if he's man enough..._

To love you when you're right  
Love you when you're wrong  
Love you when you're weak  
Love you when you're strong  
Take you higher when the world's gotcha feeling low 

_  
He's giving you his last, cause he's thinking of you first  
Giving comfort when he's thinking that you're hurt  
Oh, that's what's done when you really love someone  
I'm telling y'all that a woman ain't a woman if she ain't woman enough _

_  
Love you when you're right  
Love you when you're wrong  
Love you when you're weak  
Love you when you're strong  
Take ya higher and higher  
When the world's gotcha feeling low  
She's giving you her best, even when you're at your worst  
Giving comfort when she's thinking that you're hurt  
That's what's done when you really love someone _

_(When you love somebody, Alicia Keys)_

------------

The first piece Yuuki plays I imagined went something like _Buongiorno principessa_ from _La vita è Bella_and the second like the piece from the _Moccona Cinderella coffee advertisement_, also known as _The Search_ by _Elliot Wheeler_. Both pieces are on youtube. (Type '_Buongiorno principessa piano'_ into youtube, it's the first one. Type '_Moccona Cinderella Ad_ 'and it's the third one down.)

Yes...so really this was about how Yuuki and Kyoya are pretty much perfect for each other, but questions what defines perfection. They have different lifestyles, expectations and perceptions of themselves and the other and in trying to convey their viewpoint; they can end up causing friction with the other; and learning from that mistake. That's what love to me is, a learning process.

What do you reckon? I'd like to know because me writing to me doesn't really help you.

So...review with questions, opinions, constructive criticism, anything. Your reviews keep this story going, they really do. Without them, I would give up. So thank you, thank you very much for all the support so far. Every single reader and reviewer here, I appreciate you so much for your dedication and interest.

Blessings,

-pp


	13. Chapter 11

-

**Chapter 11**

**-**

Two weeks after Kyoya got out of hospital, he was back into his normal routine. Yuuki rode, trained, prepared. She would fly over to London in four weeks and be joined by the Host Club, who didn't know that they were coming yet, two weeks after that.

Every week, the pair tried to get together someplace but it was hard to set a time where they both weren't busy. Thus, surprise visits were a frequent occurrence. One of which was not welcome at all.

Yuuki had been in the shower after a long day. She wrapped herself in a towel and opened the bathroom door to find the heir to the Ootori group sitting on her lounge couch, looking at a pile of books she had put on the side table beside it.

The girl froze and clutched the fabric to herself. "I hope this is sufficiently awkward for you."

"Not...really. It could have been worse." He glanced up, smiling an innocent hello, before pushing his glasses up.

Yuuki ducked back inside the bathroom and leaned against the door, speaking through it was difficult but better than speaking through basically nothing. She blessed the fact that she had the modesty to never do the 'run' from the bathroom to the bedroom. "I liked it better when you couldn't do spontaneous things, which is very out of character for you by the way."

"I can be spontaneous. I just plan the time and place of the spontaneity first."

"Well, could you please go plot something outside for a minute?"

There was a soft laugh and the sound of a door being exited through and shut. Yuuki glanced around the room. It was empty. Even so, she made a dash for her wardrobe and changed in the bathroom. She opened the front door and stepped outside into the early evening. "Okay. What?"

"Hello to you too."

"How did you get here?"

"Driver."

"Who let you in?"

"You keep a spare key above the door frame."

"How did you know that?"

"You told me."

Pause. "Right."

Kyoya glanced down at the girl as she stood, arms crossed, and feet together, looking at the stable across from her room. She was annoyed, and somewhat embarrassed. "I thought you'd be happy to see me." He stated with a tint of humour in his voice.

Yuuki turned her head to him. "I thought that when you hear someone in the shower, you have the decency not to pull up the nearest chair..."

"Just say hello."

The girl cracked, smiled and hugged him. One could not stay mad at such a smooth exit from an awkward situation and an apology that wasn't said. Wasn't said not because it wasn't meant, but to be sorry fully entailed not wanting to remember the awkward humour of the situation. Yuuki stared up at him. "Hello."

"That's better." Kyoya smiled coyly.

Yuuki leant back. "I swear I had grown." For some reason, now that the Ootori was better, it was more obvious that she was a head shorter than him, much more than what standards set for a partner.

"You're too old to still be growing."

"I can be the little train that could."

"You're too old for the little train that could."

"Well." She scowled. "You're not old enough to be parenting."

"I will give you anything you want, as long as it doesn't alter you." Kyoya kissed the top of her head.

Yuuki smiled, deciding to try the offer. "I'll have another one of those."

The Ootori kissed her head again. Before she could ask again, he pressed his lips to her nose. Yuuki tilted her chin up and kissed him properly, telling him that the deal went both ways.

"It works." Yuuki said, pulling away. "Oh the possibilities...can I have...hm....what can I have?" She tapped her chin, playing with the possibilities.

"You can have dinner and coffee with the host club and me tonight."

"Host club?"

"Tamaki is determined to keep everyone as close knit as possible coming up to your leaving again and his wedding."

"Haruhi's wedding." She corrected.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow and queried as to that she meant, watching as Yuuki disappeared into her dorm to retrieve a pair of shoes, a wallet and her mobile.

Yuuki explained. "It's not ever a man's wedding. Men get ownership to most things; women should get the title of their wedding at least."

"Okay. Yuuki's wedding." He tested her theory.

She pulled a face. "Oh to have my name as the title of an event."

"Then it's subjective." He ushered her towards the waiting car.

"Yes, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Does it look like I'm getting married to you?"

"Not yet." Kyoya closed the door as he folded himself into the car after her. Not yet. Happily ever wasn't calling just yet.

-

The restaurant was on the edge of the central business district. It was built up high on deep wooden stilts to look over a large lake that boosted a neighbour in the form of an elegant golf course. It was very Japanese, refined, simple, beautiful. It would have been quiet if there wasn't a group of friends all sitting on the balcony arguing over what cosplay was the best. The Host Club welcomed the pair as they arrived, warmly saying hello or asking what had taken so long in a devious manner.

Yuuki sat beside Haruhi, across from Kyoya. "Hi." She hadn't had a proper conversation with the girl in a very long time.

The little brunette smiled. "Hello." She pointed down the table at the first twin. "That one is Hikaru."

The Cunxin laughed. "I was just about to ask."

Hikaru glared. "That's not fair."

"It's not fair to play the _Which one is Hikaru Game_ with people who don't know the difference." Haruhi shot back.

Kouru looked past his brother. "Don't worry Yuuki, we had other things planned." He pressed his head to his brothers and spoke with him in unison. "Just because High School is over, doesn't mean the little devil type has disappeared."

Yuuki blinked. "Oh...good?" She looked across the table at Kyoya. He was talking to Tamaki about business.

The blonde smiled at his fiancé as she stared at him disapprovingly. "Sorry Haruhi, I'm stuck at uni." His tone was somewhat guilty but loving at the same time.

The way they looked at each other was so deep, so personal, that Yuuki felt the need to look away.

Haruhi nodded her still disdaining approval before engaging the girl in a discussion about the Olympics, which Yuuki quickly turned into a discussion about her wedding.

"You'll be the maid of honour, right?"

"Of course, even though to be a maid of honour I need to be married. So, we should probably call it something else." Yuuki said.

"Good. I don't really want to stand up there alone, or with a lot of people."

Apparently the owner of the restaurant knew Hunny and Mori and didn't raise any question when the little blonde ordered strawberry cake for dinner. Mori ordered something else. The twins ordered something to share. Tamaki decided to go fish, as did Haruhi whose fetish was still seafood. Yuuki couldn't decide, so Kyoya ordered for her.

"If it kills me, then I'll come back to haunt you." She threatened.

"It's not going to."

Yuuki doubted it, but was defeated when it turned out to be overpriced sushi with a cold soup; exactly what she would have ordered anyway. The night progressed enjoyably. It was good to be back with the host club, it felt like home. The twins swapped places five times during the evening, all of which Haruhi updated Yuuki about and the girl developed a suspicion that they wanted to vex her. She was pleased that they never got the chance. Everyone laughed when Tamaki called tuna 'the chicken of the sea'. Yuuki found herself feeling blessed by the company and honoured that they would consider her their friend after everything that had happened. Dessert though, in light of the bliss was an adventure.

There was cake, for everyone. Even Kyoya. And he was actually eating it. Yuuki stared at him, Hunny apparently saw no problem with it and didn't dare ask the Ootori for anything; something the Cunxin thought was peculiar.

"You don't like sweet things." She said across the table.

"It's not sweet." He looked calculating.

"Its cake..."

"So?"

"It has sugar in it."

"Yes."

"And..."

Kyoya held a fork across the table. "Shush. Just try."

Yuuki looked at it, hesitantly, before trying. Her first reaction was nothing, and then she coughed and had to drink some water. It was bitter. Rich and bitter. Some form of over coca-ed, milk-less form of dessert. After the spluttering stopped, she glared across the table. "You said dinner wouldn't kill me."

"It didn't."

"It tried to."

"You know that my tastes and your tastes are different."

"I also know that, either I have incredibly sensitive tastebuds or yours are unfeeling."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up smugly and didn't reply. Yuuki spent the rest of the evening trying to get the lining of her oesophagus back.

-

The group left the restaurant and wandered aimlessly around the nicer areas of the city, sitting at fountains and ending up in a park, each person wandering, staring at the stars or talking.

Yuuki sat with Kyoya sat on a bench and watched as the host club spit up. They were each going their own ways, but thing somehow remained the same.

Yuuki dropped her head to Kyoya's shoulder. "Each to their own."

"Each to their own." He said, his voice smooth.

"It's funny how life works out, Haruhi is getting married to Tamaki, the twins are always as they have been and Hunny and Mori never changed."

"But we did."

"We did."

Silence. "Where do you think we'll be in ten years?"

"I'm not psychic."

"Your also not very imaginative."

Kyoya smiled slightly. "In ten years, I _hope_ to have taken over the business."

"I hope to..." Yuuki paused. She didn't know where she hoped to be in ten years.

The Ootori held her closer.

"I hope to...be right here." The girl avoided the direct question whist still answering it honestly. "With you."

Kyoya went to reply but a harsh voice called out from behind them. "Yuuki? Yuuki, you little..."

The girl turned and saw her father standing in the light of the lamppost they were under, seething. She stood and Kyoya did with her, placing himself beside her. She was surprised, the chances of running into him were next to nothing. Sometimes, kismet happens.

"Where's my car!" Shang yelled, sober, but furious.

Yuuki went to speak but her father did before her.

"It's at a scrap yard! I know. I watch the news. I should just sue you for it, and for decreasing the value of my company, and for being a waste of time and space."

"What are you doing here?" The girl asked.

"What am I doing here?" Shang took a few steps closer until he was within an arms distance. "I'm here on business, trying to build up what you shattered! You..."

Kyoya spoke over the last curse. "Sir, please be aware of who you are addressing."

The Cunxin turned his gaze onto the man. "I'm addressing my daughter, not you." He gave Kyoya the once over.

"You are addressing a friend of mine, the moment you press charges, please be aware that my family will do everything in its power to not only protect her, but to find every single thing you've ever done illegally; most of which we already know and have proof of, and we will use it against you. As well as this, be aware that Yuuki is legally no longer your daughter and if you press charges for her stealing a car, then she will press charges for you physically and verbally abusing her. I warn you not to underestimate the power of my family" His voice was cold, calculating. The Kyoya Yuuki had first met.

"Oh. And whose family is this." The man was ignorant of the fact.

"The Ootori group."

Shang glared, recognising the name and face of the boy he had met the day he took Zero away. He turned to his daughter. "So...this is who you sided with over family."

Yuuki didn't say anything. She just nodded. _Over family_. She didn't have a proper family anymore, but he made it feel like she did and had betrayed them.

"Well, he's quite a catch." Her father's voice was smug. "I knew you had lived with the Ootori family, but I suspected that you befriended the daughter and not bedded the son."

The girl's eye's shot up, horrified and insulted.

"Guess we weren't good enough for your refined tastes. _Middle class climbers_ as they say." Her father continued. "There's plenty other rich and powerful men around you know, you don't have to stop with one. I mean, come on, think of the fortune that you'll never have to work for because of your idiocy you could get many men and get them all to destroy me..."

Yuuki flinched as he hurled insults at her. He hated her, and inside, she still loved him. The night had turned from something good to a nightmare in an instant. Kyoya was fuming beside her, especially at the allegations of his relationship with her, highlighted by the promise he had made with her for them to not occur. The steps they both took to respect that boundary. The other members of the host club were converging on the scene as they realised what was going on.

There's a street, Yuuki." Shang was still yelling at his daughter. He pointed at the nearest road. "Why don't you go sell yourself on it?"

Unfortunately for Yuuki's father, one can easily reach over a bench and Kyoya did so. Grabbing the man by the neck, the Ootori went to hit him but Mori got there first. Shang Cunxin got a very hard, angry fist in the jaw and then a face full of dirt.

Hunny stood over the wounded man and pointed. "Don't you ever talk to Yuu-chan that way ever again!"

Shang rubbed his jaw and looked at the host club. "So this is your collection, hey Yuuki? Lots of rich men. Oh...and another social climber." He looked at Haruhi.

Tamaki advanced on the Cunxin but his fiancé held him back.

Yuuki turned to her father. "Leave."

"What?" The man stumbled to his feet.

The girl swallowed. "I don't want to see you again. If you do..."

"You'll do what huh? You'll pay royally though. I know that."

Kyoya took half a step in front of Yuuki. "Sir, I can personally make sure you can never raise another business venture because of the severity of your liquidation. I will also chase down every offense, every tiny mishap, every single thing you ever did wrong; not only to your daughter, and I will send it to the government. Then we'll see whose word they respect. A...middle class climber or a respected family with a clean slate?"

Shang glared. "I wasn't talking to you. Rich scum."

"Just...go." Yuuki said. "Go home, dad."

"Where is your home now Yuuki?"

"It's right here." She stared at him. "I'll call you a cab, but please, don't come back."

The man wiped his mouth and hissed before glaring at the entire group. "Don't bother. You'll pay in time. I don't need the help of a..."

At that, the twins picked the man up and carried him away. They stood at the road, hailed a cab and threw the Cunxin inside as roughly as possible. Yuuki swallowed and remembered that she should be breathing. It was amazing how quickly beautiful moments shattered, all because of a haunting past.

Tamaki used the hand that wasn't holding Haruhi's to call the driver. "I think it's time to go."

"I'm so sorry." Yuuki said. "I didn't even know he still came here for business. I didn't mean to ruin the evening."

The blonde smiled. "It's alright; it's not your fault. No offense, but your father is a jerk."

"He's not her father." Kyoya said coldly. "Just because he has the same DNA doesn't mean he has the right to be related. He severed that right the moment he sent Yuuki to Ouran."

The girl realised how right he was, and how much she wished he wasn't. Severing bonds was something she really sucked at.

"That was pretty rotten of him, huh Yuu-chan." Hunny looked up at her.

Yuuki smiled down at him. "Yeah, It was."

"I mean...to say all those things about you and men..."

"That's not really the point." The twins said in unison, arriving back.

It was awkward for Yuuki. She didn't know what to say or how to react. A black limo pulled up and Tamaki lead the group to it, saying as cheery as a goodbye as he could to the pair who had arrived separately.

After the car was gone, Kyoya turned to the girl. "Are you alright?" He noticed something, all her walls were up.

"I'm fine." She nodded. "I'll be fine." The wall stared to come down again.

"Do you want to go home?" Wrong word to use.

Yuuki looked up at him. She was home when she was with them, with him; but when they had to part, where was she? "Yeah."

Kyoya called his driver and in half an hour they were pulling into the academy. A night that had started so good had left one feeling raw. Still unbroken, still healing, but damaged somehow. If they had been separate at the time, the outcome would very likely have been different.

The Ootori let Yuuki stare out the window, her fingers tightly wound through his; cutting off the blood supply. He ran his thumb over the top of her hand and she loosed her grip slightly. Kyoya squeezed her hand, keeping her as herself; not letting the event get to her personally. What had happened was not her fault; she had done nothing wrong except for take a car. That could be easily remedied. The man made a mental note to sent Shang Cunxin a Jeep, a nice one, then he would have no argument against his daughter. Yuuki was blameless, pure, innocent; she was almost an adult and yet she could live in the world and look at it as a child would; the little things mattered. The beauty overrode the horror, even if it was outnumbered. Kyoya would keep her from falling from that. He loved that about her. She was the opposite of what he had been.

Both had fathers who had taught them everything, maybe even once loved them as much as they had loved as a child. Maybe they wanted them to grow to be something different to them, even though that was the only thing they pushed. Neither wanted to even remotely be like their father. Kyoya would take the business, but he would not take the cold, dominating, fearsome persona; he would take the thing he created in his father's name, the thing he bought for him and had, for some reason, had to work to inherit it. Yuuki would never be like her father. Ever. He wouldn't allow it. Ever.

-

_What's a dad for dad?  
Tell me why I'm here dad  
Whisper in my ear that I'm growing up to be a better man, dad  
Everything is fine dad  
Cause I know I'm growing up to be a better man_

Father I will always be  
That same boy that stood by the sea  
And watched you tower over me  
Now I'm older I [don't] wanna be the same as you

What's a dad for dad?  
Taught me how to stand, dad  
Took me by the hand and you showed me how to be a bigger man, dad  
Listen when you talk, dad  
Follow where you walk, dad  
And you know that I will always do the best I can  
I can

Father I will always be (always be)  
That same boy that stood by the sea  
And watched you tower over me (over me)  
Now I'm older I [don't] wanna be the same as you  
The same as you

Father I will always be  
That same boy that stood by the sea  
And watched you tower over me  
Now I'm older I [don't] wanna be the same as you

_(Life of a sales man, Yellow card)_

_-_

Yuuki didn't head straight for her room; she went straight to the stable. Kyoya dismissed his driver, telling him he would get a cab, it was late and he should go home. It was time he started acting like a human and prevented himself from ending up like Yuuki's father.

The girl walked into the darkness and found the right stall. Zero was standing sleepily as she stood at the doorway. "Hey pretty thing."

The horse's ears moved forward slowly.

"You cool enough in there?" She put a hand on his neck. "Yeah. Good."

"Yuuki." Kyoya was standing behind her. "Go to sleep."

"Not yet."

"Yuuki."

"Kyoya, please don't tell me what to do right now." She pinched her nose. "I respect what you think every other moment, but every other moment I know what to think."

The Ootori took a place beside her. "I apologise."

"No...I ruined the night. I'm sorry."

He glanced at her. "You didn't. It was a one in a million shot. Sometimes that kind of thing happens."

"To you?"

"No. One in a million, remember?"

"Everything was so nice. It's really weird feeling comfortable around a bunch of people you're not related to and not around those you are."

Kyoya stared at the horse. Technically his horse. "Just because I own Zero, doesn't mean he's mine."

Yuuki looked at him. "What?"

"I bought this horse, my name is on the owners papers, but he is not mine."

Just because Shang Cunxin's blood was her blood, did not mean she was his. The girl leaned her shoulder into Kyoya, needing the comfort. "Your life lessons are crazy."

"How so?"  
"Haruhi told me about your life lesson with her."

"Which one?"  
"The one at the beach."

Silence. "She told you about that?"

"We're girls."  
"And of the kiss and tell rule?"

"Oh. You never kissed her. You were very oddly teaching her a lesson, very oddly. Very...not so PG13 rated. But it worked."

"Huh." Kyoya thought for a moment. "And that doesn't bother you."

"Of course it bothers me. It would bother you too. But I didn't know you then, I didn't know you when you dressed as a woman with the Host Club either...thank goodness." She told him it was alright as long as he didn't try anything of the like again, or had the decency to tell her about it.

"Some memories are never supposed to be stored." Kyoya was glad she was lightening up. Yuuki had severed herself from her father, but he had done it officially the night she had turned up on the doorstep. This evening had just been proof of that. They both had their hurts, but they both had each other. And it was enough to get through. To more than survive.

"Just don't try your 'be a girl' lessons with me." Yuuki smiled.

"No. I'll just try the 'be more than what your father says you are' lesson."

"Well...both kind of went hand in hand tonight, didn't they?"

"It was uncalled for and rude. It's none of his business what our status is and even less to assume it."

"We live in a modern world. Everyone's assuming."

"In theory."

"In theory?"

Kyoya looked at Yuuki. "Do you know exactly what everyone is assuming?"

"I don't think I want to."

"Exactly."

"Okay. Mr Right." In more ways than one. "No more philosophy, theology, whatever tonight. We can talk fathers and detriment later."

"What do we talk now?"

"Um..." Yuuki reached her hand into her pocket and pulled her phone out. "We can iPhone."

"You have an iPhone?"

"Yes, why?"

Kyoya took it from her in the very first jealous manner he had ever displayed.

Yuuki reached for it but he held it above her head. "This is very out of character."

"No, technology is in my character. Organisation. Expense. This is all of that. And I don't have one, I need one."

"You _need_ one hey?" The girl tried jumping to reach it, but failed by about half a foot.

"It's got merit."

"You do the merit thing for everything?"

"Not quite." Kyoya held the phone behind his back.

Yuuki reached around him to get it but he swapped hands. She reached around the other side, he swapped hands. She went at it with both arms and grabbed it with both hands before being enveloped in his embrace.

"You set that up." Yuuki said into his chest.

"And you thought I wanted your phone." Kyoya's voice was as it always was, his tone calculating his face expressionless; but Yuuki knew he was more than a mask and a business suit.

When they needed a way out of things that stressed, pressed in and hurt; they could go to the other and resurrect themselves. Learn to smile and think at the same time. To give without expecting because seeing the other happy, even for a moment was the greatest reward. Seeing Yuuki upset and not knowing how to defend herself had made him angry. She needed to learn, she needed to understand more than him and a saddle.

Yuuki knew she would get that discussion later, but right now he was her wall. Raised them around her and him and didn't let anyone else in. Within those walls, she could cry and not be afraid that someone would hurt her while she did so. She could cling to something to keep her afloat and find her way back to shore. She could endure any storm within the walls. And he would always offer their protection. Yuuki was Kyoya's angel. The last thing he saw of the world and the first he saw coming back. She kept him sane, kept him human, kept him feeling and on a level above his father's; a level beyond just numbers, figures and profits. He would still be private, he would still keep secrets, he would still build empires out of corner stores; but he could now do it as part of his life, not as his life. Yuuki had given him the greatest gift – freedom.

-

_Don't blink, don't close your eyes,  
But most of all don't apologize.  
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now._

There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,  
A memory of a brighter time.  
When everything was new, and less watered down,  
Before the summer turned to brown.

Don't say you can't believe it now,  
That you're almost settled down,  
'Cause you'll be right here,  
When I come back around.

Don't blink, don't close your eyes,  
But most of all don't apologize.  
It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now.

There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,  
A memory of a brighter time,  
When everything was new, and less watered down,  
Before the summer turned to brown.

_(Song in my head, Sherwood)_

-------------

_Well, that started happy. Ended melancholy, but is important._

_Might not seem it now, but it is. _

_Please review. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	14. Chapter 12

-

**Chapter 12**

**-**

_I don't want to miss one smile  
I don't want to miss one kiss  
I just want to be with you  
Right here with you, just like this  
I just want to hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time_

_(I don't want to miss a thing, Aerosmith)_

_-_

Yuuki balanced on one foot, her hand against the wall of her dorm. Her empty dorm. There were suitcases along the wall and a set of clothes on the bed. Her shoe refused to slide on easily so the girl hopped as well as one can on a single heeled foot and sat on the couch. It was the night the athletes, the sponsors and the media all got together to farewell the former before they left for London. The Equestrian team had to leave as early as possible to get their horses and themselves used to the conditions; unlike other athletes, they could not train in monitored environments and thus had to allow as much time to get used to a new one as possible.

Yuuki was wearing navy blue over her pale skin and white glass drops in her dark hair. She wore it down as her heels were up and a girl sometimes needed balance. Her phone rang.

"Hello?" Shoe. On. Finally.

"_Leaving now."_

"Now?" Yuuki looked at the wall clock. "Why now?"

"_Because we have to be there in half an hour." _Kyoya said smoothly through the phone.

"Doesn't it start at six?"

"_Its five thirty."_

"Do we have to be the first?"

"_If we're first, fewer people will see you getting out of the car."_

Thoughtful silence. "See you in ten."

"_Yuuki?"_

"Yes?"

"_Wear navy more often."_

The girl paused and looked up. There was a window beside the door and Kyoya was in it. She hung up on him and scowled before unlocking the door. "You said you were leaving now."

"No, I said 'leaving now', not referring to any one person. It takes more than half an hour to drive to hotel from here."

"Well, let's just say this is better than the last time you decided to 'drop by'..." She used her fingers as inverted comas. "...I thought you were a 'call in advance' kind of person."

Kyoya slid his hand behind the small of her back and ushered the girl outside, closing the door behind her. "The 'incident', as you like to call, it was weeks ago..." Incidental evening in more ways than one. "...and calling in advance is often only done for reservations. Picking you up is not a reservation."

Yuuki paused, hesitant to walk on gravel in her shoes. "Well. Okay, that makes sense." She took the first step, it was fine.

Kyoya slowed his pace as the girl navigated the uneven surface. "Why do you wear them if they're so inconvenient?"

"High heels are a male invention, designed to make a girls behind look smaller and make it harder for her to run away."

"And you wear them, because?"

"Because, it makes my behind look smaller and makes it harder to run away." She smiled at him.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and returned the expression. He could work out any mathematical, physics or business equation, but he could never work out woman. Yuuki would forever remain a mystery in that fact. "Well, if that's what makes you happy."

"Hey, you bought them."

They were halfway to the car when she stumbled on a particularly stubborn set of pebbles. The Ootori caught her by the waist, even though Yuuki had corrected the mistake. Kyoya stared at her, accusingly.

"What?" Yuuki said.

"I just realized." Pause. "You never said hello."

The girl pulled away and waved brightly, mockingly. "Hello."

"That's not funny." He didn't want to be waved at.

She knew perfectly well what he wanted and waved a dismissing hand at him. "I'd like to arrive in at least a semi-normal state."

"And you wouldn't because?"

"You make me feel exceptionally abnormal." She paused getting into the car. "In a good way."

"It's your last night in the country."

"But not my last with you." Yuuki watched as he closed the door.

Kyoya leaned over and wrapped a piece of hair around his finger. One of her dark waves. "Let's hope not."  
Yuuki stared at him softly. The last few months had been a blur. A good blur, one she would put into slow motion, over and over again. He was hers and he wanted her. An equal treaty. The girl kissed her boyfriend. Boyfriend. Odd word. It didn't explain enough. It seemed to dull down a relationship to a stereotype. "Better?"

"Not yet." Kyoya kissed her back.

"Okay." Yuuki said, pulling back. "I know men have a different way of expressing love, but you're getting needy."

"I'm getting needy?"

"Yes."

"You made me watch three hours of old films where people broke into spontaneous song and dance."

"An Ootori, being made to do something?" Mocking gasp.

"It's an impasse. Be with you and endure black and white films or be on my own wanting to be with you." Despite the honesty of his words, his tone was still calculating and emotionless.

"If it was just me?"

"There would be no impasse."

"No, you would much rather be on your own."

Kyoya leant back into his seat, dismissing her conclusions about men. Women always tried to summarize men, but found they were always wrong because you had to be a man to summarize the gender. And vice versa for women. "Tamaki is coming with Haruhi later."

"Not earlier?"

"They will try to be on time but the Porsche is in for servicing." Pause. "Speaking of cars. What do you want?"

"What do I want?"

"Well, I'll be driving you around and I don't have a preference."

"I'm not choosing you a car."

"Okay. You're suggesting."

Silence. "Something with lots of airbags."

"Like a Mercedes?"

"Like a cardboard box lined with pillows."

Kyoya smiled slightly. She hated the thought of him driving again. "People crash cars; I'll be careful and not let you drive this one."

"We've both smashed a car before. The driving world has a vendetta against us."

"No, you have a vendetta against it. Everything you touch that has wheels falls apart."

"Like that bicycle..." She still had a graze on her knee from a 'Host club trip to the park'.

"That bicycle is not a bicycle anymore, it's a garden feature."

"Oh, it wasn't that bad."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever. If you get a car, please, please, please, let it be the Mercedes Guardian."

"That's the same as a Mercedes E-class, only with bullet proof glass."

"You said you had no preference."

"Why the Mercedes?"  
"It has an ANCAP rating of 5."

"Alright." Kyoya smiled at the fact she had chosen the only car that would be difficult to obtain. But if it made her happy...

"Can't you just have a driver for the rest of your life?"

"Lee?" Kyoya lowered the divider between them and the front seat. "Would you like to cart me around for the rest of my life?"

The older man turned slightly. "Sir, I think I'll reach the rest of my life before you do."

Yuuki decided to but in. "Yes, but if Kyoya gets in a car again he'll likely crash and die."

"No ma'am. I think he'll be just fine. He's a good driver."

The girl leaned back and grumbled. "You paid him, didn't you?"

The driver tipped his hat and smiled in a friendly manner, raising the divider again so that the pair could bicker playfully in private.

"I didn't bribe him."

Yuuki raised an eyebrow.

"Believe what you want." He paused. "I'll be fine. Trust me."

"I trust you. I just don't trust the other drivers."

"Yuuki." He didn't turn his body to her. "It's fine."

"No but...last time..."  
"I know. I was there."

"Yes, but I wasn't. You can't leave me behind like that."

Kyoya turned. "I can't give you that promise."

"Can you at least give me your word on it? Even if not everyone else's?"

The Ootori finally realized the toll his accident had had on her. "You have my word."

"Okay." Yuuki stared at him, hoping his word against the worlds was good enough to keep him in it.

"Yuuki?" Kyoya said coolly.

She looked at his face, not into his eyes.

"I won't leave you behind."

"Yes." She paused. "But I left you behind once. And..."

He put a finger over her mouth. "I told you not to keep bringing that up."

"I..."

"Shush."

"Mmahmm..."

"Yuuki."

She grabbed his finger and pulled it away. "You might not have meant it when you left me, but I meant it when I left you. And it's..." It was a separation, a juxtaposition of relations.

"I don't think you did."

Yuuki blinked. He could read her like an open book where she couldn't. Her guilt and the need to repay him for the horror she put him through made her want to tell him that, to make him think she owed him something, to let him take whatever part of her he wanted in return as reparation. "I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

Kyoya ran his hand down her neck to the necklace that sat between her collarbones. "You won't have to." Pause. "Let's not talk about this now, tonight is about you."

"Its about you too."

"Yes, but mostly about you."

"And the other athletes."

"Of which you are one."

"Just one."

"Yuuki, stop making comebacks."

"But I'm finally getting good at it."

"Yes, and we're all very proud. But it's annoying."

"Sorry." She smiled.

Yuuki felt melancholy about the mood that had just lifted. She liked talking to Kyoya about things, letting him know how she felt, communicating properly. They could do it without words often, but on topics they stood on opposite agenda's of, words needed to be exchanged; honestly. Kyoya was difficult with this at first. He was a 'quiet reader' preferring actions to words, preferring to keep his walls up while others took them down around him. With Yuuki it was different. If he did it willingly, she would as well. If he let her see him without his barricade of cold demeanor and calculating effect, then he could see her from behind her chaps and saddles. They could _see _each other and thus understand the others mysteries better even if they knew they would never answer them fully. It was part of the enchantment of the relationship.

The car pulled up outside the hotel that the party was being held at. There was a mob of photographers and journalists. Yuuki went white.

"Don't worry. No one knows the equestrian team. They're all here for the sprinters, swimmers and ping-pong players." Kyoya assured her.

"Okay."

The moment Yuuki got out of the car, she wanted to kill him, but she couldn't see because too many flashes went off at once. Suddenly she realized why. From beyond the white dots in her vision, she saw a copy of Vanity Fair. It had been a bad idea to do the shoot.

"Ms Cunxin!" A journalist cried. "Ms Cunxin! How do you feel about the Equestrian Squad?"

The girl blinked. "Um...I'm not the captain, your best off asking him." She laughed nervously. "But yeah, I think we're a great team." People. Interested in her. Yuuki was not happy. Overwhelmed, frightened, not happy

"Who are you wearing this evening?" Someone else asked.  
Herself. Duh. "Um...Lisa Ho."

"And...How do you feel about being the darling of the Olympics?"

"The Darling?"

"Yes. You brought horse riding to the foreground for the first time."

There was a firm, cold voice behind her. "Yuuki's very confident about London." Kyoya's hand was on the small of her back, guiding her away. "Don't talk, just smile and nod. The only journalist you want to talk to is either from the _Times_, _The Tribune, Courier_ or _Business weekly._" He hissed into her ear. He knew how to handle the media, she obviously didn't.

"MR OOTORI!" People began shouting, others were shouting at Yuuki. And then it was all diverted to the next arrival. There was just one reporter on the end who was still as interested as everyone was at the beginning. "Mr Ootori, Ms Cunxin. Hello, I'm Hsu from the Tribune. How are you this evening?"

"Fine." Kyoya said emotionlessly.

The man ignored it. "I just have a few questions for the both of you."

Silent agreement.

"Okay. For starters, I heard you being asked about your title as _Darling of the Equestrian Team_, how do you respond to that?" This reporter was okay. He wasn't in your face.

Kyoya didn't give her any cues, so Yuuki answered shyly. "Oh. I didn't actually know about the title until a few seconds ago. So, I'm not sure." She turned to Kyoya. "Am I a darling?"

He smiled softly. "No."

Hsu laughed. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what's the relationship between you two and, if there is one, how will it affect both the running and participating in the Olympics."

Kyoya took the lead. "We are good friends and with respect to the Olympics, everything will run as it has been planned, if not better. The Ootori group has taken every precaution and done everything in their power to make the sponsorship of the event successful."

"How are you after your car accident a month ago?"

"Fine. The team at the hospital was effective and I'm very thankful to them."

He turned to Yuuki. "And you after your fall a few years ago?"

"I'm good, thank you. It hasn't hindered my riding in the long run."

"And, I hear you went to London for a year, was that to scout the area?"

Yuuki paused. "No. Um. It was just a trip away."

"Long trip."

"Yeah."

Kyoya's hand pressed against her back as he nodded at the reporter and ushered the girl inside. Yuuki stopped him just in the door and pushed him gently to the side. "My Left Foot they all were after swimmers, sprinters and ping-pong players. You could have warned me. You know I hate that sort of thing."

The Ootori looked thoughtful, as if trying to work out what had just happened. "I forgot you did a cover on Vanity Fair." Yuuki looked deflated. The man pushed his glasses up. "I'm sorry. I miscalculated." A confession of that sort from an Ootori was a big thing.

"If this is the last time I see you for a few weeks, I don't want to be arguing over cars and fighting people with cameras." Yuuki said softly.

"Neither do I, but if you're going to be with me, then your going to have to accept that those things are going to happen. It's the same for my being with you. Whether it's my business celebrity or you're sporting."

"No, I know, but, I don't want to go back to London without you this time. It's a heady reminder."

"I know." He did. "I would come with you but I have to close things up here."

She respected that. "Alright." Pause. "My job and your job both suck."

Kyoya laughed quietly. "Just smile, be nice and stay next to me." Not for her own good, but for his. He needed her there and when she wasn't he got by in imagining her presence. It had become a habit, a need. Something both of them could not live without. Every fight they had got resolved before the end of the day; part of the fear of hurting the other again, part of wanting them to be happy and in being so yourself through that. Being apart was like losing a limb. You knew it was supposed to be there, but it wasn't. You knew it belonged as part of your being and fit perfectly into your life and it was strange when it was gone. Lungs without air. Hearts without blood. Puzzles with no finishing piece.

-

_So every time you hold me  
Hold me like this is the last time  
Every time you kiss me  
Kiss me like you'll never see me again  
Every time you touch me  
Touch me like this is the last time  
Promise that you'll love me  
Love me like you'll never see me again_

_I don't wanna forget the present is a gift  
And I don't wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me  
'Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed_

_(Like you'll never see me again, Alicia Keys)_

_-_

The evening progressed as one would expect. The upper classes cliqued to themselves, avoiding those from less than important backgrounds or careers. The best part of the night was dancing.

Kyoya wasn't much for public displays of emotion and knew Yuuki wasn't much for public displays at all, so they escaped to an alcove of the ball room. There was a fish tank in the wall and it cast watery patterns through the corner and little spurts of colour, bright yellows and blues, as one of the reef dwellers swam through the back light. Everyone else was busy in their own world of champagne, chandeliers and gold medals that they didn't notice the half absence of the couple.

"I realized something." Yuuki said, watching the fish. "You said _good friends_ earlier. I don't know whether to feel insulted or mysterious."

"Neither. Just avoiding the media." Kyoya stood close behind her and away, across the room. Surveying it with a calculating gaze.

They wouldn't go public. Even though their relationship would be but a drop in a pond of celebrity couples. Yuuki turned to him. "Yes. It seems both of us have unwillingly had our lives told before we even knew about them."

"So it seems." The Ootori turned back.

He had his public mask on. Leaning forward, the mask slipped slightly to let her know he was still there behind it, he offered a hand. Yuuki took it and let Kyoya wrap his arm around her waist and begin a slow waltz.

"The music is very fast for this pace." The girl stared over his shoulder at the crowd; the upper classes knowing the foxtrot were doing it, the lower classes improvising in a mocking manner.

"Do you want to speed up?"

"No." She buried her face against the curve of his shoulder and neck. It was just them in a world that never would be. Stealing moments that made everything worthwhile. Stealing the truth of the other.

"What time do you leave tomorrow?" Kyoya said after a short while.

"Earlier than you will survive to see."

"What time?"

"Five, which means we have to be there at three, which means I won't sleep tonight."

"That's ludicrous."

"That's when the horses will still be resting. It'll be dark, cool, the air will hopefully be clear and we'll avoid afternoon storms, which is when most horses freak out mid-air."

"All for the cargo." He smirked.

Yuuki sighed gently and lifted her gaze to look at him. "All for the cargo."

Kyoya freed the hand holding hers and ran it down the girl's hair. They were as alone as they could be and he could let his walls down with her. Dangerous though it was, he couldn't resist. His fingers strayed and explored her cheekbone, her jaw, her chin. Her breath was gentle against his neck, her head lingering in front of his.

Yuuki let her free hand rest behind Kyoya's neck, her fingers against the base of his hair. "I'll miss you."

The man pressed his lips to Yuuki's forehead. "Me too."

The girl lifted stretched her neck up and kissed him, softly, gently, with meaning. Kyoya kissed her back and let his hand rest on the pale of her neck, half buried behind her hair, the other on her waist.

A flash went off.

Yuuki stepped back and stared. A man was standing a few feet away with a camera, looking at the shot. "Beautiful photo." He smiled at them. "Always explore the little corners of a party for the best story." He said. "The fish...the dress, even your position; very romantic. _Olympian and Gentleman..."_ The man paused to think. "_...Behind the scenes._..yeah, I like that. Thank you, sir, miss." He bowed and began to leave.

Yuuki was turning scarlet. "Oh. Please don't."

"But Miss Cunxin. You were on the cover of Vanity Fair, surely you like the attention."

"No, I really don't. Please..."

Kyoya cut in. "As part of the Ootori group, I ask you keep the personal life of myself and those involved private, as we have already asked for this evening."

"Which is exactly why we post these things. People like the ones who have no dirty history. Don't worry, this isn't a scandal, it will promote yourselves."

Kyoya knew if he threatened the man, it would only turn out badly. He probably had a recorder stuck somewhere on his being to pick up the stories no one told to journalists. All he could do was watch as the man disappeared into the crowd.

Yuuki wrapped her fingers around the Ootori's upper arm. "Don't worry, its...well...Will your father want to kill me now?"

Kyoya turned, his mood lightened slightly by her. "He always wants to kill you; he'll just have more reason to now."

She smiled softly. "Okay. That I can live with. If he gives you hell however..."

"He won't. He can't do anything about it." And neither could he do anything about the picture. He just hoped it wouldn't make front page of anything. Of course, people would react pleasantly to young love, but now his every interaction with the opposite sex, and hers, would be scrutinized in detail. "I'm sorry."

"No. Should have found a better spot." Yuuki said, not regretting what they had done. Their moments were their moments and nothing could detract from that, they just needed a better way to have them.

"Or less media."

"Or less media. Yes. Or none at all." A clock chimed midnight. "Three hours..."

"Want to leave?"

"I'm not Cinderella."

"Which reminds me, Tamaki never showed." Kyoya pulled his phone out of his back pocket, amusing Yuuki immensely. Once an Ootori, always an Ootori. "He says, quote _'I'm going to murder the twins. Help me do it mother. They took Haruhi out and didn't tell her a Bacardi Breezer wasn't a soda.'_ Unquote."

"Oh. How did the twins get her?"

"They were probably all coming together; Tamaki got distracted and when he turned back Haruhi had a glass full of colored rum."

"Is she old enough?"  
"No." He was texting back. "Her liver isn't either."

"Well, that's unfortunate."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "She should have known."

"Would I have known?"

"Let's just say, I'm never going to let you drink."

"Thanks, father figure."  
He smiled. "Speaking of which, let's get you home."

"No. If I go home, then I won't see you."

"Okay...let's get you home and you can pick a movie."

"_Calamity Jane._"

Kyoya lifted his mask back up before heading back through the room and sighed. "If you say so." Pause. "What is this fetish for old movies?"

"Singing, dancing, clean..."

"Watch High School Musical."

"Do you want to?"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, didn't think so. _Calam'_ is it."

-

As their relationship progressed, Yuuki realized that Kyoya had a thing for credits.

"You know, no one watches the credits." She was sleepy.

He wasn't paying attention to her. Probably emotionally scared, a man watching a 1953 film about a cowgirl and an actress; it was bound to happen.

Yuuki smiled evilly. _"I just blew in from the windy city...the windy city is mighty pretty, but they ain't got what we got..."_

"You're not Doris Day." He politely told her to stop.

She was too tired to take his subtle threat. _"If there's one thing I could do without, I could do without you."_

"No you couldn't."

"No." She shook her head sleepily. "I couldn't."

"You're too tired."

"And you're not enough. It's unnatural." As if on cue, the girl's phone went off. Her alarm to rise and shine for the day. She was still in her dress from that night. "Oh, that's so inconvenient."

Kyoya stood and picked up a set of clothes that had been left out on the side table, he extended them towards her and nodded at the shower. Yuuki took them dejectedly and headed for the bathroom, turning back she shot a warning look at the Ootori. He smiled. "I know, plotting outside."

"Yeah. Stay there."

Half an hour later, a slightly less sleepy Yuuki emerged to find an unusually awake Kyoya.

"Why are you so...alert?" She asked.

"I'm often up later...earlier...than this, working."

"No wonder people think you're a vampire or something."

Kyoya watched bemused as Yuuki tried to pull on her riding boots. Knee high, made of rubber and leather, it was a difficult task. "Who are you leaving with?"

"Whoever is driving the car pulling my float."

"And that would be?"

"Tachi."

"Who?"

Yuuki looked across the lot at the lights in the stable that signaled the start of a big day. "In there. Wana meet him?"

"I want to meet him. I don't 'wanna', ever."

"Eh..." Yuuki dismissed him and began her trudge across the gravel. She had been born middle class and had only attained upper class status as a tween. Her old vocabulary was still a relevant part of her life.

The girl went into the stable via a side door. There were already three other riders inside, accompanied by a vet and various instructors and stable hands. "Morning." She called as a few heads raised to see who had entered the group.

A few said hello, one asked for an opinion with a broken jumping saddle. Kyoya leant against the door frame and watched her go about her life.

"When did that happen?" Yuuki woke up some.

"It was fine yesterday." Her teammate said. "It might have been one of the kids. There's one who needed a saddle and I let her use it once, she never stopped."

"Hmm..." Yuuki looked at it and then disappeared into the tack room, reappearing with another saddle. "Will this fit?"

The older woman looked at the girl. "I can't use your saddle."

"I have two, in case of emergency. Your horse is pretty much the same as mine. You might need to use another pad though."

The woman took the saddle and lifted onto the horse standing beside her. "It's too high on the withers."

Yuuki tapped her chin and asked her to put the saddle pad under it. It fit a little better. She disappeared into the tack room and returned with something fluffy, shaped like a figure eight. She put it on the withers and then put the saddle back on. It fit. "Just make sure its sitting right; your saddle may slip around a bit."

"You're a life saver."

"No, I just have too much tack." They laughed. "Oh. Jenny. I want you to meet Kyoya."

The woman turned her head to look at the man standing in the door, still dressed in suit pants and a pressed white shirt. The tie was gone, leaving the throat button undone and he obviously hadn't seen a brush in a few hours. "Oh, so this is the reason you got in all that trouble."

"Yes, it is." The Ootori smiled warmly as he reached the pair. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

Jenny almost swooned, and then remembered she was married and her husband was also on the team. Family stayed tight through big events. "That's...alright."

Yuuki had forced herself awake as she headed down the corridor. "Sorry, I..." She pointed at the horse.

"I know."

"What were we doing?"

"Tachi."

"Oh. Yes."

Her instructor was standing outside Zero's stall, piecing a halter together. He turned when the girl approached him. "Seriously, put it back together before you leave next time." He scolded.

"Sorry." Pause. "This is Kyoya."

"Oh." The man looked up. "Pleased to meet you." He couldn't offer a hand to shake, they were both preoccupied. "Could you tell her to put it back together next time?"

Kyoya turned to Yuuki. "Put it back together next time."

She took the halter from her coach and put it back together. "Happy?"

"Oh, I like you." Tachi said with a smile before opening the door for Yuuki to go get her horse.

The girl left the two men as she did her thing. "Hey there sleepy. At least you got some rest tonight. I'll be sleeping on the plane." The horse stood up properly as she slid the halter over his head. "Wake up. Time to shine."

By the time she had groomed him, vet-checked him, checked him for sore-spots herself and walked him in circles to get him awake, Tachi and Kyoya had done nothing. They had stood and talked the whole time. "Like a bunch of girls." She said, approaching them, horse in tow.

"He's interesting." Tachi said.

"Yeah. I know." Yuuki got head butted by her horse who was now awake and hungry. "Now that you two have an alliance, can I get this thing...that is...trying to eat my jodhpurs" She turned and pushed Zero's head away from the back of her knee "....into a float?"

"_Zero Tolerance_ was a good show name for that beast." Gets what he wants, when he wants it. Tachi mused as he took the lead rope.

"Yeah. Well. I'll have little for him in a second."

"You sure he's not gelded?"

"Does it look like I can ride a stallion?"

"Not a chance." Her instructor shot back smugly. "Have you slept?"

"No."

He turned to Kyoya. "Why?"

He pushed his glasses up. "When I dropped her home, she wanted to watch _Calamity Jane_."

"And you let her?"

"Would you?"

Both men looked at the girl as she stared between them innocently.

"Yeah. Point." Tachi started to walk out the stable, Zero following proudly. "This is the only male in the whole world who could ever put himself before that face." He said, petting the horse.

Yuuki crossed her arms and scowled at Kyoya.

"What?" He asked flatly.

"What did you say about me?" Girls had to know what had been said about them. It was in their genetics.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Oh." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Would I ever tell your instructor how to get you to behave?"

Yuuki didn't uncross her arms. "Yes."

The man laughed lowly.

"It's not like I'm naughty..."

"Just misconstrued."

"Yes. Exactly. And you're the only one who ever understand that."

"Would you have it any other way?"

"No. But you just told Tachi."

"He won't get it." Kyoya lead her into the crisp darkness of early morning. "You'll still be the misconstrued type."

"If that's a compliment, thank you. If it's not, you're riding in another car." She saw his face and continued. "Your driver goes off duty at one. It's past one."

"You want me to come to the airport?"

"Duh."

"Yes." He corrected her.

"Yes." She replied mockingly and peeled his arm off her so that she could make sure the loading was going alright before telling a porter where her bags were. Kyoya reappeared at her side. He didn't say anything, just stood beside her and made mental notes about the confusion of her business.

Yuuki took his hand and pulled him to the car Zero's float had been attached to.

Jenny was sitting in the passenger seat; her horse was sharing the trailer with Yuuki's. "Hello, your friend coming with?"

"Just to the airport. Who's driving?"

"Hubby."

"How's the car getting back?"

"We have special parking at the airport because we travel so much."

"And the trailer?"

"We'll just use two spaces."

"I'll owe you money."

"Yes, yes you will." An older man climbed into the car. He winked at the girl and smiled at the stranger beside her. "Hello, I'm Jenny's husband, Victor."

"Good morning." Kyoya said politely. "Kyoya Ootori."

"Ootori, huh?" He glanced at his wife.

"Yes, sir."

"How did you manage to catch Yuuki then?" Victor said it as if he were her father and Kyoya was a potential threat to her wellbeing.

"Still trying to work it out, sir." He replied with a small smile that Yuuki missed because she was looking out the back window, doing one last visual and mental check.

The engine roared to life and the car took its place amounts a line of many driving through the gates of the Jockey Club. Yuuki fell asleep on the way to the airport, her head resting on Kyoya's collarbone. If she was going to sleep and miss a few of the last moments she would have with him for a few weeks, she was going to do it as close as possible to him. The Ootori cradled her against his chest and the couple in the front exchanged a look of experience. They knew how the other had been in public and in private and knew the value of the few moments where they were alone. Respecting the backseat, they maintained a light chatter between spouses; the sort of chatter Kyoya identified as following the same lines as that Yuuki and he had made that evening at the ball. The chatter of a lasting couple in public.

-

Yuuki had woken up again by the time they arrived and swiftly was caught up with a customs officer who needed to check her horse, her belongings and her passport before anything was loaded. For half an hour this was done. And then another vet check and then the horses were loaded into boxes and lifted into the plane.

Kyoya stood in the background, Shadow King Style, and surveyed all he saw with a sharp eye. Yuuki was standing on the tarmac, tying her hair up. She was wearing a white blouse tucked into a pair of cream jodhpurs so that if anything needed to be done involving her horse, or another horse, she was dressed appropriately. Every other rider, even the trainers, were dressed in similar attire. The girl had a shoulder bag containing her iPhone, laptop, book, water and gum for take-off and landing. She was playing with her necklace as a man in a suit with a clipboard went through her passport details.

Yuuki looked up and smiled at him. The darkness was slowly giving way to proper morning and he looked tired, content, but tired. Finally, the call was given for passengers to board and the group began to climb the stairs into the plane.

Yuuki opened her arms as Kyoya came to say goodbye and hugged him. The man wrapped his arms around her waist and held on, remembering the last time she had boarded a plane in the darkness. They didnt say anything. Saying goodbye was to familiar, to final. They wouldn't say goodbye.

He let her go gently, told her he would see her later in that familiarly calculating tone of his and let her join Tachi as he waited at the bottom of the stairs for her. Yuuki reached the fifth step from the top, turned to look at him and then ran back down them. Kyoya was aware of how light she was and didn't hesitate in catching her when she threw herself at him. The Ootori caught a glance of her instructor rolling his eyes as he told the hostess at the door to hold for a minute.

Yuuki kissed him deeply, memorizing the way he smelled and the texture of his hair before she had to be apart from him again.

Kyoya let her feet touch the ground. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks." She didn't let go.

They just stared at each other, making this memory erase the past one. Making it override it.

Tachi did a protective-father-thing and called for a torch from the hostess. He shone it on the couple in the early light of the morning. "Oi! Its two weeks, you'll survive!"

Yuuki turned her head to him.

Her instructor was smiling as he yelled. "Get yourself on this plane, right now!"

"All right, all right, I'm coming." Yuuki cried back before turning back to Kyoya.

He kissed her again, not desperately like she had him, but gently; a simple kiss that meant nothing like goodbye, just _I'll miss you, I love you, I'll see you soon_. "Get on the plane." He said firmly.

Yuuki obeyed as if he had told her to get in a cab and go to her dorm; as if she would see him in a few hours and this was not goodbye at all but just a short lapse of time apart. Even so, the minutes ticked by in lulls, slowly aching and lethargic. The opposite to the smooth, natural flow of life when near the other.

-

_I wait for you.  
I don't know why.  
All I know is I can't hide.  
At this temperature you could take over my mind.  
Like gossamer, you softly touch.  
He draws me in, I'm powerless.  
He possesses an enchantment._

Tell me I'm forgiven.  
He calls, don't know how I fell under his spell.  
Lately I've been driven. He smiles, an enchantment.

I wait for you.  
I'm mesmerized this love is like a potion in disguise.  
I'd tightrope walk with a blindfold on my eyes.  
I can't escape, or so it seems.  
I'd run away, he's in my dreams.  
He possesses an enchantment.

Tell me I'm forgiven.  
He calls, don't know how i fell under his spell.  
Lately I've been driven.  
He smiles, an enchantment.

It's the kind of sleepwalk that never ends.  
A type of loan with no dividends.  
It's a parlour game where you're given chase.  
Guess it could be called an acquired taste.  
I know, he knows, he calls, I go, I know.  
This could be an enchantment.

Why don't you tell me I'm forgiven?  
He calls, don't you know how I fell under his spell.  
I'm forgiven...lately I've been driven.  
He smiles and I give in,  
an enchantment.

_(Enchantment, Corinne Bailey Rae)_

-

---------

_So, that was the longest chapter yet at 1__4 pages. _

"_Calamity Jane" is such a good movie..._

_Anyway. I thought I'd fill you in on the fact that this story is very much the first version of another one that's not fanfiction. I'd been writing it, and I got stuck and, really, I don't think I write well at all because no one around me writes; there is no mentor. So I decided to play around, see what the world thought of how I developed plots. So...when this finishes, I'll continue the 'real' version. Hence, why I really appreciate reviews. Most of the stuff in this story is in the other one; except the characters, setting and some of the plot line is different. This is my story in fanfiction form. If you really want to alter a part of the story for your own, could you pl__ease make me aware of the fact? I don't know if anyone's been doing that, I mean, what your writing could be very similar to what I'm writing, so similarities are basically doomed to happen. But...my writing is very much me in black and white in the shape of many, many characters. My writing is my seal, my...stamp as such. It's very personal and I almost stopped writing this from fear someone would take some of the quotes I cut from the original. So...that sounded very serious. Lol. I'm sorry, but I hope it made sense? _

_Liked it, loved it, hated it; whatever. Just, please, review it__ and keep the story going. _

_Blessings and thanks for reading. _

_-pp_


	15. Chapter 13

-

**Chapter 13**

**-**

_It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice. This seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of romantic love which expounds that love is inborn and as such requires no more than to accept it. Love is born by the pleasure of looking at each other; it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other and is concluded with the impossibility of separation. Once imprinted with the reality of the emotion, it is impossible to remove it, and even more so to live without that who gave it. If this reality hits home, an eternity is all that will make sense and all that ever will.  
__(Unknown)_

_-_

The good thing about odd sleeping patterns is that you can talk to the other when there is a time difference and not alter the normality of bedtime and waking at all.

Yuuki was sitting on her bed after her morning training session, listening to Kyoya as he sat at a desk in what she thought was the evening sometime. "I talked to the lady who was looking after my apartment; she'll have it ready by the time you come." Pause. "The fish are dead by the way."

"I'd been wondering about that." Came the slightly distracted voice. It had been a week since she left.

"Really?"

"No."

"Yes, that was odd for you. Thinking about fish."

"Hmmm...."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm..." Pause. "E-mailing."

"Well, stop. There are currently three people in this relationship."

"I'm emailing my sister."

"I was referring to Marvin."

"Oh." The distraction stopped. "Yes, Marvin."

Yuuki laughed softly. "No, keep E-mailing. I can call you back."

"No, I'm done."

"No; it's alright."

"I already shut it off."

"Off?"

"Well, it's not on anymore, is it?"

"You turned your computer off?"

"Yes."

"That's...amazing." She blinked.

"Why?"

Yuuki ignored the question. "Is it alright? It didn't die? Doesn't feel dejected?" Her tone was light, slightly mocking. "I mean...you'll recover too, right?"

"Yuuki, that's not funny."

"It was and you know it."

"You're more important than my computer."

"It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?" She had just read a copious amount of Jane Austen in her spare time.

"Nobody minds having what is too good for them." He shot back, truthfully. He was too good for her; she was too good for him. And neither minded one bit. "Just stop being disagreeable, and entirely to witty for me to keep pace with."

"I like it when people don't try to be agreeable; it saves me the trouble of liking them."

"Okay, enough Jane Austen." If he eliminated that, he could reply on equal ground. He liked their bantering; it was light but required an IQ and knowledge of a variety of subjects usually only used in a game of Trivial Pursuit.

She sighed. "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."

"Well that's good, because your pleasures can be considerably annoying."

"I resent that."

"I don't."

"Well...your face."

"That was terrible."

She could picture him smiling, sitting in his room with his laptop on, not off properly as previously discussed; just off to him, and surrounded by neat alignments paper. "Where is the host club going to stay when here?"

"Your apartment."

"Kyoya. It's a one bed room apartment."

"Why did you buy a one bed room apartment?" Rich man mortified.

"Because, believe it or not, I only need one bed."

Rich man with backup plans. "Well, the twins have a house that their mother stays in during fashion week. They can use that."

"Quick thinking, 99."

"You've become overtly witty."

"It's just awkward because my roommate keeps staring at me, like she wants the phone. Or that she just realised I'm from the _Japanese_ team, not German like she thought."

"You have a roommate?"

"Yes, 'to promote alliances between countries.' They knew I spoke German so they put me with one, she's a German shot put thrower."

Amused silence.

"Stop picturing it, yes, she does tower over me like the Empire State Building."

"Is she nice?"

"She's very sweet." Yuuki smiled at the woman who was sitting in the lounge next to the open bedroom door, watching her and the TV at the same time.

"Athletes village alright?"

"It's fine. Lots of people. And before you ask, no, you cannot pull strings to get me out."

"I didn't say a word." Pause. "What are you thinking?" He needed to know.

"Well, I've had one quote stuck in my head since yesterday and can't get rid of it."

"Oh?"

"Well, Jenny and I were joking about _Pride and Prejudice_."

"Mmm?" Still waiting to hear it.

"It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife." She could picture him pushing his glasses up and smiling his ghost grin. "However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters."

"Is that so?" There was humour in his otherwise flat voice.

"My dear Mr Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?" She finished coyly.

"I hope by that you mean your apartment is going to soon be lived in."

"I did."

"Good."

"That statement raises a lot of questions."

"Like?"

"Single men, large fortunes..."

"A large income is the best recipe of happiness I have ever heard of." Now that is a Jane Austen quote he knew.

Yuuki smiled. So Kyoya. She couldn't wait to see him again. To read his unreadable features.

-

In the days that followed, Yuuki would return after her training in the morning and find her roommate on the phone. On her phone. Talking to Kyoya in German. At first she didn't know whether to be disturbed or not, but then accepted that it would have happened anyway.

She counted down the days till he arrived in London and went to check the apartment for herself before he came. It was in the upper end of the city and took up half a floor, sporting a view of Big Ben in the distance and the Thames. It had rustic wooden floors and white washed walls. For a one bed room apartment, it was very spacey, but the girl had bought a huge bookcase and covered the far wall with classics, textbooks, modern novels, CD's, about seven versions of _Wuthering Heights _and other written works she had collected over the year and a half. There was a fireplace with a white face and a black bottom that looked French in the room, with a plasma TV above it, it became a living room. The red, leather couch brought warmth to the room. Kyoya would like it. It's why she liked it. Big, roomy, open with space to work and live and think. It was him when he wasn't with her. The bedroom was comfortable, it had a large four poster that the previous owners had obviously not bothered to try get out, and white curtains over the mahogany window frame. There were chairs in one corner, the reason for which Yuuki had never worked out, and a walk in wardrobe that led to a spacious bathroom that never ran out of warm water.

It had been the girl's haven for the year and a half. Her heaven and her hell; a reminder of what she had left behind, a reminder of what she couldn't let go and a reminder of how much she needed it.

Yuuki filled the fridge with food that could be easily made, doubting Kyoya had ever cooked something for himself before, and put a set of linen out; hoping he knew how to make a bed. Directions were given on how to work a heater blanket and a map drawn to the linen closet drawn in case he hadn't realised where towels came from. To the rich, towels travelled, by themselves, to the bathroom from some unknown destination where they had been fluffed and cleaned.

Yuuki stared at the empty fish tank and wondered where Dora, her favourite fish, had ended up. Likes were the toilet, but out the window was a good enough guess too.

-

The news the night before Kyoya arrived told of an uncovered plot to bomb the Olympics.

Yuuki watched with her roommate as images of handmade weapons flashed across the screen.

"It's good they got caught." The German said.

"Yeah." Yuuki knew about terrorism, but never thought it would ever be close to her. "Fortunate for everyone."

"Well, at least we know we're safe."

Yuuki laughed. "From drugs, alcohol and late night shenanigans." The rules of the athlete's village were strict.

Her new friend laughed. "Yes, well, none tonight. You get to be at the airport nice and early."

The smaller girl smiled. "Yay."

"Why is he arriving so early?"

"To avoid the press."

"Oh. Big celebrity?"

"Not really, but he and I together have been likened to Brangelina."

"Who's Brangelina? A singer?"

"No." Yuuki laughed. "It's a couple, two names together."

"So you're like...Kyouuki?"

"I hate shipping." She stood up and headed for her room. "But you can feel free to make any combination of our names as you want."

Yuuki wanted to go to sleep; it meant that when she woke up she could go see Kyoya again. The news, her training, the nerves about the games were nothing to wanting to see him again. At that moment, he would be on a plane, flying over to see her.

In the morning, Tachi drove the Cunxin to the airport.

"You're calmer than I thought you would be." Her instructor said with a tone of humour in his voice.

"It's only been two weeks."

"Yes, you've been out and about planning his arrival since last week." On a more serious note. "You need to focus on these games Yuuki."

"I'm focused."

"Ridings not just something you do, it's something you're good at."

"Yes. I know."

"So you have to keep being good at it or it will cease to be something you do professionally. And its not just you. You need to make sure your horse is ready."

"Yes. I know."

"And, you're lucky enough and young enough to have already been here before, so you know the risks and you know what's expected and you know how prepared you need to be."

"I'm prepared."

"Really?"

"Yes." Pause. "Question."

"Yes?"

"Do you have a drivers licence?"

"I got an international licence to drive here, yes."

"Does that explain why you're currently driving in a bus lane?"

"I'm in a bus lane?" The man twisted in his seat to look around. Cars were in the lane next to him, but lo and behold a double-decker, red monster was behind him. "Oh shoot, I'm in a bus lane. Why didn't you tell me before?" Tachi swerved to enter the normal lane.

"I thought you were aware of it." Yuuki said, laughing. "If you want me to be focused, you better lead by example."

"Yeah. Well. Shut up." He grinned as he stared out the windshield. The man had been more of a father to Yuuki in the last few months than anyone had been in her entire life.

"Tachi?"

"Yes?"

"Airport turn-off was back there."

"How do you know?"

"I used to live here."

"Back there?"

"Yes, back there."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Tachi, I might be half your age, but I'm not stupid."

After another twenty minutes of driving, they found a turnoff that lead them back to the airport. When the reached the real turnoff, they missed again. Third time was lucky and Tachi was expecting to see his young star bursting in her seat, but she wasn't. She was staring out the window, watching incoming planes.

-

Yuuki stood at the international terminal, her feet together and her arms crossed across her chest. Her posture was perfect from years of dressage training, but she seemed rigid, as if waiting for the world to cease existence. The whole building had the vague fragrance of a million perfumes that had been tested in duty free and recycled air from somewhere down the hall. Oh, the mastery of air-conditioning and its ability to suck in dirty air, make it cold and spit it back out after being filtered through a mass of dust; all for human consumption and pleasure. The airport smelt as all airports should. Of numerous people, wearied and excited. Of luggage made of leather, cotton, canvas, plastic even, sometimes. No wonder they were not considered a legal part of any country, the building was as confused as anyone who landed in it after getting on the wrong flight. But it was adored by all nonetheless.

Tachi leaned on one leg beside her. "Doesn't first class come out first?"

"Usually."

The plane from Tokyo had almost emptied. "Then where are they?"

"You haven't met the rest of the Host Club. The delay has probably been caused by all the luggage they have to clear."

"Are they all pretty boys or something?"

"No, just filthy rich."

Tachi laughed. "I see you were raised to mingle with the right crowd."

Yuuki smiled and elbowed him in the ribs. All around them were couples embracing, children running to parents who had been on travels, a few of the media; many of which whispered and looked at the girl, recognising her from somewhere but not remembering the place.

The doors _whooshed_ open and a sparkling blonde caught the attention of the young women at the terminal. Tamaki smiled and looked somewhat refreshed after a long flight. He turned. "Haruhi, come, you must see this. Have you been to Heathrow airport before?"

The brunette appeared, exhausted. Not used to flying. Her eyes were bright though, taking in the sites. "I've never been out of Japan before."

Tamaki did a double take. "What?"

A pair of teens with ruddy-bronze hair appeared behind him. "Ah. You didn't realise?"

"No!" he took his fiancé by his shoulders. "Then our honeymoon was going to be...gah...what?!"

Yuuki smiled. Plan successful. Fortunately Tamaki would get over the revenge quickly, especially when in London. Hopefully. The girl waved slightly and caught the attention of Hunny who threw himself across the polished floors and into her chest.

"YUU-CHAN!" Mori followed the short blonde bundle silently and peeled him off the girl and turned the excitement onto himself. Yuuki thanked him and received a smooth reply. "Kyoya is sending the luggage through to the house."

The girl nodded and gained the attention of the group. "Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori, Hunny, Deedle dee and Deedle dum..." The girl turned to her instructor, ignoring the glares of the twins. "This is Tachi. He will be driving you to your accommodation, AKA the mansion of Twin one and two."

"Ah!" Tamaki said brightly. "You already have a driver. Good."

"No..." Yuuki smiled. "He's my instructor. FEI level dressage and show jumping."

The terms went over the heads, but they followed the man anyway. Tachi said goodbye to Yuuki and told her to be on time that afternoon and that if he wasn't there, it's because he got lost; please send out a search squad.

The girl went and stood amongst the throng of people who lined the terminal, waiting for passengers to emerge through the doors and into the country. She wanted nothing more than to see him. To be with him. The feeling pressed in around her and she knew that, in its own way, it was pressing in on him. Every moment they were apart. It was unbearable but it was survivable as long as the other didn't leave for long. As long as they came back. And they knew, the other always would. They would never stop caring. It was not the kind of first love that lasts a brief, beautiful moment and is gone. It's the kind that lasts for all eternity, a stunning conjunction of two lives that had lived to find the other and would never live again if it was any different. It was personal. No one would experience it like them, no one before and no one ever again. Because it was them. Because they were matchless. Unique. So perfect through flaws and correction that every rough edge fit with another in the other person.

And as generic as that seems, it existed. As much as others think that sort of relationship didn't exist; it did – to them. And it could never be described or explained.

-

_Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends...If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.  
__(Love Actually, 2003; Spoken by Hugh Grant)_

_-_

The doors slid open and a think mob emerged, all dragging suitcases, children or signs of weariness. Everyone was making vague airport chatter, the sort you hear when everyone is trying to make sense and failing miserably. The sort of talk that somehow flips from the picture in a magazine to tropical diseases in less than a sentence. It was amusing to listen to, if you were in the same state as everyone else; if not, it was just annoying, idle and an evidently strident background noise.

The only one who looked unruffled appeared without luggage and alone. Conspicuously alone and comfortably silent.

Yuuki smiled when she saw him. Kyoya didn't seem to see anyone around at all; his eyes were only for her. She went quickly to his side. They didn't embrace like other couples meeting there; they only stared into each other's faces and shared a moment so private, so deep and full of understanding, that anyone watching felt the need to look away. Their relationship was mystical. They just were together and had been from the first day they met, even if they hadn't realised it at the time and were only doing so now. That's what made them different. They had never been complete without the other and never would be. They had not been whole before they met, their whole lives they had been waiting for each other. Just waiting, not knowing what to expect, not knowing it would be so perfect in its flaws and greatness. They had known this all along but never spoken it into words, never said anything about it. It was just a state of being that always was and always would be.

Yuuki had become the most important thing in the universe to Kyoya; there was no limit to what he would do for her. Not that she would let him ever go that far. She's the light side of the relationship, she makes him laugh. And there wasn't much laughter before Yuuki.

The girl was smiling, an emotion emanating from her like nothing anyone had seen before. Such joy at seeing him, a joy that would be evident after even a minute, even after they had fought, even after the millisecond she couldn't see him for blinking.

She was just there, expecting him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Kyoya held out his hand and she took it, feeling through him a life-force that was so fitting it was no wonder that it was part of her life. No wonder they had found each other in the throng of billions and been drawn through eternity to keep it that way.

Kyoya remembered the time thought he would never see her blush scarlet again, or see the flash of intuition in her eyes when she saw through his pretences. It had been unendurable.

But the most beautiful thing about being human was that, things change. Paths chosen change and can divert back. She was the most important thing to him now, the most important thing to him ever. Yuuki thought of her life without him. It was not that her heart had stopped beating, but that it had left her entirely, leaving a hollow hole that he had once occupied. One she had feared he would never occupy again. But he was there. He would be hers, forever, and no other way felt right.

They were not opposites, but nor were they similar. They were just compatible. They just were. And always would be.

-

_There's no one in town I know  
You gave us some place to go.  
I never said thank you for that.  
I thought I might get one more chance.  
What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that, now I'll have a chance._

_  
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.  
So what would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?  
I never said thank you for that, now I'll have a chance._

_  
May angels lead you in.  
Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in._

_  
And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time.  
A song for a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live.  
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends. _

_On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.  
On sleepless roads the sleepless go._

_  
May angels lead you in.  
May angels lead you in._

_(May angels lead you in, Jimmy eat world)_

-

Yuuki stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Kyoya's neck. He rested his hands on her waist and kissed her forehead.  
"Two weeks is far too long." She said softly. Forever wasn't long enough.

The Ootori smiled at how she had to be on tiptoe to say hello to him face-to-face. He'd missed that. "It seems we'll have to alter all future travel arrangements then."

"Okay." Yuuki closed her eyes and pressed her face into the curve of his neck, just below his jaw. He smelled vaguely like the nothingness of re-cycled air from an airplane and peppermint. She knew he didn't like public displays of affection, but she'd missed him. A lot. She missed him every time he wasn't there.

"How's the weather been?" Kyoya asked quietly, firmly, smoothly.  
Yuuki knew he meant something else, she didn't know what though, and that made her nervous. "Whenever people talk to me about the weather I get the feeling they mean something else."

He pressed his face close to her ear. "I do." Reality hit home for the Ootori.

"I thought so..." He meant more than the weather. He meant something else, something intangible.

There was a silence. A comfortable pause. There was no friction, nothing at all but their existance, unknown to every world except their own.

Their voices spoke secrets. Their bodies hardly apart. "Marry me." He whispered, his breath pressing warm against her ear.

Yuuki craned her neck back and looked at him, her expression a little blank but her eyes wide with an indescribable emotion. The words did not surprise her, they felt right, and that's what raised the hummingbird in her stomach; no butterflies, their wings didn't beat fast enough for that. There was no second thought and it made her think again. There was no friction when the world told her there should be some.

Kyoya kissed the corner of her mouth, not caring about the world for the first time. "Marry me, Yuuki." He didn't ask, but he didn't command either.

The girl swallowed as he pressed his lips to her ear, proving she had heard right. The world stopped revolving. There was no ring, no dinner, no down-on-one-knee, but it was deeper than those circumstances ever would be. It went further. It held more worth than the profits and merit of the whole world combined. She forgot she was in an airport and forgot how sudden his request had been. The abruptness of it hadn't been expected, nor was it a surprise. It just flowed through their experiences. Simply. Firmly. Naturally.

Yuuki blinked and nodded slowly. It was the most natural response to the question in the world, the one that flowed right and fit right and worked the best for her, for them. To be forever, eternally, together. Not in bliss, they were not ignorant, but just...together. Age didn't matter, the world didn't matter, nothing mattered when such assurance defined them.

"Okay." Her voice was soft, her breath like a butterfly against his skin. "Okay."

"I thought maybe..." Kyoya pushed a stray hair off her face. "That...maybe...in the light of day, I finally know what I want, and that in itself is a miracle. I realised that...pride, honour and glory, money, profit...they all have boundaries. But you, what you hold; what...what you have given me has none. At all. I thought everything had..." He stumbled over his sentences for the first time in his life.  
"All I want is you, Yuuki. In ten years time, that's all I want. In twenty, in one hundred, in eternity...just you."

She would last for all eternity. She'd have to. Forever wasn't long enough. If he could have just one ounce of that, of her eternity, he would be happy. He would have a million lifetimes to try work her out. To be with her. It was odd. His openly showing love. He didn't do that. He calculated, plotted, examined; Kyoya was not the sort of person to do anything without meaning it, having thought about it and re-thought about it. He had, several thousand times since the day he met her. He did not believe in 'the one' or 'soul mates' but he had come to learn that the feelings associated with such beliefs did exist. They existed for him in a reality of flaws where she was the diamond. She was his profit, one he wanted to save and treasure and lock away from all other hands. To be just his. And he knew, she wanted it that way too.

Yuuki felt her feet land, flat, on the ground but the feeling didn't land with her. It had never been in the clouds, it had never been a dream, it had never been more than it was and it had never been more than beautiful, than perfect, than everything the world had been clinging to finally coming together in the form of two people; waiting to be pieced together. It felt like her heart would burst. Like her lungs had too much air. Like everything and anything that had ever existed, didn't anymore, it had all stopped, all of it except him. Their love seemed to touch across time, it had no limit.

The girl ran her nose over Kyoya's jaw, smiling gently. "Ditto."

He laughed softly at her reply to his monologue. To him, it meant exactly what his had to her. "Oh, I would take you and cut you up in little stars, and you will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will fall in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun." He quoted Shakespeare in his unchanging voice to make her smile.

She laughed.

-

_Tell me when will you be mine  
Tell me quando, quando, quando  
We can share a love divine  
Please don't make me wait again _

When will you say yes to me  
Tell me quando, quando ,quando  
You mean happiness to me  
Oh my love please tell me when

Every moments a day  
Every day seems a lifetime  
Let me show you the way  
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more  
Tell me quando, quando, quando  
Say its me that you adore  
And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day  
Every day seems a lifetime  
Let me show you the way  
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more  
Tell me quando, quando, quando  
Say its me that you adore  
And then darling tell me when

Oh my darling tell me when  
And then darling tell me when  
Oh my darling tell me when

_(Quando Quando (when when), Michael Buble ft. Nelly Fertado)_

-

------------

_I did not expect "Marry me" to come up on the page, but it did. Things just flowed to that point and I couldn't delete it. It couldn't erase itself. It just worked._

_So, I hope you liked it. I'm sorry it was short (comparatively); I had written more, but it didn't fit. At all. So...please tell me what you thought? _

_I heart the airport. _

_Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you thought. _

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	16. Chapter 14

-

**Chapter 14**

**-**

By the time they reached her apartment, Yuuki was hoping she wouldn't wake up and find herself alone. Their mannerisms didn't change, even though their status had. Nothing had changed, there was no big creation, not metamorphosis; just a knowledge that this was forever and the realisation that to each other, that was more exciting than just being together would ever be.

"Just so you know, the cold tap in the bathroom has never worked. But it runs cold for about a minute anyway.

Kyoya noticed his bags had been delivered from the airport and were sitting beside the door. "It has internet?"  
"Yes."

"A phone?"

"Oh yes." Her tone was mocking. "And electricity too. You know, we had that put in just for you."

Kyoya glanced at her. "It's very you."

Yuuki frowned and turned her head sideways slightly to try gain his perspective. "How?"

"You have all the CD's, DVD's and books anyone would ever need, but none of them are in order." He said with a light tone of amusement in his voice. "And only you would have a bronze statue of a horse the size of a Great Dane in the living room."

The girl realised it was true. "Yes, but, all the knowledge in the world is on that wall and everything's kind of...colour coordinated, greys, whites, blacks, bronze tones, mahogany frames..."

"_All_ the knowledge in the world?"

"Yes. All of it." She replied stubbornly.

"You thought it was very me, didn't you?"

Yuuki looked at her hands. "Well, I bought it for that reason."

"You just happened to put your own imprint into the place as well."

She got what he meant. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"Just so you know. My cold tap doesn't work, but the hot one does, it just runs cool for a few minutes."

Yuuki smiled. "Oh, I know. Trust me."

"I'll assume that wasn't an insult."

"Assume away." Yuuki began the grand tour of the apartment. "Kitchen; cutlery in the place you would expect it to be, glass wear closer to the ground than you would expect it to be and cooking utensils not where you would expect them to be." Moving on. "Lounge, you've seen that. The big remote does the TV, the little one the stereo." And on. "Lights. Who hasn't used those before."

Kyoya followed bemused as she continued. "Linen closet. You find linen in there. Go figure. Sheets and towels do not magically appear like they do in your house, you have to come here and fetch them...umm, bedroom. Don't open the window unless you want Big Ben trying to pound you out of sleep at midnight. Twelve tolls are just too much...and the bathroom is through the walk in robe where...you know...clothes are kept."

"Yes." Kyoya said trying the cold tap. It didn't work, it just squeaked in protest. "You never got it fixed?"

"Well...I never really had time, and then it became habit to go straight for the hot tap."

Pause. "Alright, when does the cleaner come around?" Yuuki laughed and Kyoya raised his eyebrow. "What?"

"These might be the upper suburbs, but there are no cleaners unless you hire them at a stupidly high price. I'm not a rich freak like you are, comfortable mostly, but not loaded. You can call the landlady and she will bring you dinner if you ask nicely, but you'll find a vacuum cleaner in the linen closet and a dustbin under the kitchen sink." They reached the lounge again.

The Ootori pushed his glasses up. "Hm..." Inconvenient. He would just have to hire someone then. Pause. "When are you free next?"

"Why? What did you have in mind?"

"Ring shopping."

Yuuki blushed slightly. "Oh. Yes. Can we keep it on the low for just a little while? Just until the Olympics are over and the next Vanity Fair comes out."

"We're going to have to tell people sometime."

"I know. Just. Not yet." She hoped she hadn't offended him.

She hadn't. Kyoya ran the top of his finger over her cheek. "Alright. Our secret." One of many.

Yuuki closed her eyes as his finger traced across them, over the lashes, the bridge of her nose, lashes, cheekbone. She felt his lips, warm on hers, and his other hand in the middle of her back. The girl let her hand rest on his shoulder and the other against his neck as she returned the favour. He was so close. So openly hers. Yuuki felt her shoulders met the wall. Kyoya went to pull back from her, but she kept her hand on the back of his neck so that his retreat. His keeping a promise became an inner argument between his respects towards her; even if she didn't remember them, and him. Yuuki didn't seem to remember her decision at that point, Kyoya forgot it too. Pleasantly, for a minute. But he was the thinker, the analyser; which only made the situation more difficult to stop. Jane Austen had once written that 'loss of virtue in a female was irretrievable; that her reputation was no less brittle than it is beautiful.' Yuuki had made her decision to wait and make her promise. So that it would be a gift to give; on her wedding, the ultimate present, untouched and unrefundable, to the person she would have tied herself to. There was no friction in the limited space between them, if any space at all. The stillness was peaceful; like the calm before the tempest. And that was what was wrong with the situation. It was to ready. To easily entered. It clouded the mind and made it so that sometimes, the reason gifts were given was forgotten.

Kyoya put the hand that had slid to her neck against the wall beside her head and forced himself to pull away from her. She already belonged to him in a tangible, quantifiable way and she didn't need to give him anything more. Even though he wanted the interest.

"I don't have unyielding self-control, but I do have your promise." The Ootori left his hand at her waist and pressed his glasses up with the other.

Yuuki stared at him from her half cage between his torso and his arm. "You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. I want it to be yours."

"It is. You don't have to prove it." It was difficult to say, they were only human. But that is why respecting the boundaries was so important. He was used to taking what he wanted, but in this case, he only wanted it on her grounds. The ones she laid when her head was clear.

"Is this very difficult for you?"

"You have no idea."

"Then it's okay that I have no idea how to be seductive and only...self conscious and totally inept?" Wrong perspective of said subject.

"It's not okay." He couldn't unwrap his arm from around her waist, he didn't want to. "Not now. You made me promise and your making it really hard to keep." An Ootori was a man of his word.

Yuuki let her hand slip from his neck to his shoulder, realising how fast things had happened. "I'm not very good at this kind of thing."

"Let's keep it that way for a bit longer." He freed his hand from her and brushed the loose hair away from her face before gently kissing her forehead.

"That's okay with you?" Yuuki asked.

"I told you, a long time ago, never to get yourself into a situation where you feel as if you owe someone something and give them the opportunity to feel that too when, really, it's just you."

"You weren't talking other guys? General life."

"No, I was not."

"Is it really just me?"

"Right now, I'd give it 80%, 20% in your favour of you feeling as if you want to give something you owe."

"And before?"

"55%, 45%. And that's the interest factor. Every other factor weighs...heavily." 45% was more than enough.

"And yet you managed to protect my virtue. Aw." Yuuki said in a light tone. "How sweet of you."

Kyoya was still leaning against the wall, she wasn't moving and he wished she would. "Yes. Sweet." He pushed his glasses up again and stared smugly at her. "You're going to be late."

"For what?" Yuuki had forgotten.

"I wonder." Kyoya's voice had maintained its smooth, steady and calculating tone the whole time; still maintain the 'Ootori aura'.

The girl glanced at the hand he had up by her head to read his watch. Her eyes went wide. "Oh, shoot." She ducked under the arm and grabbed her jacket from the front door. "Sorry. I'm late...wait...you know that."

"I'll call you later." The Ootori crossed the room, leaned casually against the back of the couch and crossed his arms, watching her go. She had no idea how close it had gotten, or she probably did and wasn't going to say so in order to respect them both. There was no doubt that she had thought of the reasons and wanted to show them to him, Yuuki just hadn't remembered the line in the sand and they had got a little too close to it for comfort.

"Okay." She paused, her head still in the door.

"No, I won't tell Tamaki, I won't even tell him after I take you shopping for the ring. In fact, the guy can find out from his own finance when you inevitably tell her." Women.

"Thank you." Yuuki called, shutting the door. "Love you, bye!"

Kyoya stared at the closed door and smiled. She was intriguing, probably contained too much gumption, but she could defiantly make a moment and leave it would any strain. There had been nothing awkward about the past situation, there was complete lack of tension; which had inevitably been the problem, but morals and old promises had to be upheld before human instinct. He would respect her, no matter the cost to either of them and the effort it took to maintain that. She would just have to understand the rules he had set to keep her pledge intact and she would have to respect him in turn. If Yuuki had had a clear head, she would have been anxious and frightened; just as she had been every other time things got a little close, she would have remembered what it meant to her; and as a result, too him. Kyoya knew she was trying to show how much she loved him by giving him what she thought he wanted, but that was not the way to his heart. Yuuki had him anyway, there was nothing to prove. No more to give.

Her life, his life; they were bound now and neither would have it any other way.

-

_If the heart is always searching,  
Can you ever find a home?  
I've been looking for that someone,  
I'll never make it on my own.  
Dreams can't take the place of loving you,  
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true_

When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,  
To be with you again  
Gonna tell you that I love you,  
In the best way that I can.  
I can't take a day without you here,  
You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes.

More and more, I start to realize,  
I can reach my tomorrow,  
I can hold my head high,  
And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,  
And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When I hold you in my arms  
I know that it's forever  
I just gotta let you know  
I never wanna let you go

Cause when you look me in the eyes.

And tell me that you love me.  
Everything's alright,  
When you're right here by my side.  
When you look me in the eyes,  
I catch a glimpse of heaven.  
I find my paradise,  
When you look me in the eyes.  
Oh

_(When you look me in the eyes, Jonas Brothers)_

_-_

It was raining and the American Team had use of the indoor training ring within the village and the Canadians were using the one at the actual venue. The Japanese team sat in the Team Captains dorm and learn the cross country and jumping rout that they had each already memorised in minute detail. Dressage routines were personal and apparently they were working on team bonding but no one was in the mood that afternoon.

Tachi was leaning on a wall. "Well, we could all just...go out."

"Where?" A short man dressed in his riding gear, even though they couldn't ride, said.

"Yuuki?"

The girl looked up from the piece of paper she was reading with a blank expression. Jenny pulled her headphone out. "Where's a good place to go out?"

"Go out?"

"Yes. Like...you know. Hit the town. Be hip. Cool. Whatever."

"Why do older people think teenagers talk like that?" The Cunxin laughed. "Are we even allowed to leave?"

Tachi looked at his watch. "Yes, most of the teams are touring around in the week leading up to the events. There isn't really a curfew, as long as you don't arrived drunk or drugged; they let you stay with family for a few nights."

"And the time is?"

"Four, it's too early for dinner."

"Um...we could go to one of the Palaces? I hear other teams are doing the touring thing. Then we can go to Soho for dinner?"

Victor looked up. "As in, palaces with the guards with beaver hats who aren't allowed to make any facial expression?"

"Yes...that's one of them...Buckingham is a little...touristy though."

"Well." A first timer bounced to his feet. "We're tourists....essentially...until the games start anyway." Pause. "Can we ride on big red busses?" It was Hunny in riding boots.

Yuuki smiled. "Have you done a currency exchange?"

"Yes, Oh! Can we do the London Eye too?"

The Cunxin wondered why they were asking her. "Um...yes? Are you prepared to spend copious amounts of money as people manipulate you because you're a tourist?"

"Yes."

Tachi raised an eyebrow. "Wont you get charged higher than the normal rate too?"

The girl pulled a gold card out of her walled. "Not unless this has expired...oh...no...it hasn't. What a shame. Looks like I'll get off and you'll get charged. Yeah, I get discounts because I used to live here."

Her instructor crossed his arms and glared down at her.

Yuuki raised her hands in defence. "Okay. Okay. Whatever. I'll pay full price. Yeesh."

Tachi extended his hand. If they would pay full, she would too. Yuuki gave him the card, knowing full well he would use it despite his silent protest. She pulled a face at him. He pulled one back. Everyone laughed. They were such an oddball pair, like an uncle and niece separated at birth.

An hour later, everyone was standing in line for the Eye. Another hour later they were finally climbing into it.

"It often take that long?" Tachi walked to the side of the chamber that looked over the Thames.

"Yes." Yuuki crossed her arms beside him. "And when it's not summer, it's raining."

"It was just raining."

"Yes, but it's not continuous drizzle."

Why did you move here again?"

"Familial destiny."

"No such thing."

"Go figure." Yuuki smiled at him.

"So...apparently the rest of your buddy-o-pals didn't know your rich-kid-von-handsome-face wasn't staying with them."

The girl's smile turned coy. "Really?"

"Yes. And the tall blonde one was not happy that his fiancé was on a plane before their honeymoon."

"Ah...dissention amongst the ranks."

"You planned that?"

"I came up with the idea. Kyoya actually planned it. The apartment thing though was last minute. Apparently no one except commoners live in one bed room flats. Even in the upper suburbs."

"How rich are these people?"

"Besides Haruhi...you have absolutely no idea."

"Give me an estimate of...your guy's income."

"I wouldn't know. Its rude to ask."

"I'm sure you have an idea."

"Why would I tell you? It's not important anyway."

Her instructor leant against the glass as the capsule began to move. "So, you'd still be with him if he wasn't wealthy?"

"I wouldn't have met him. But yes, probably."

"Okay. Estimate?"

"More than you will see in your lifetime."

"Yes. Guessed that much. How many houses does he own?"

"Why the interest?"

"Just want to know your getting the best." Tachi grinned.

Yuuki sighed. "He doesn't own property yet. When he inherits he'll get an apartment in Paris because the Ootori group works closely with a company based there."

"He own anything interesting? Like an island?"

"No."

"That's boring."

Yuuki turned to the man. "Despite your erroneous view of the upper classes, they are not all splurging their wealth. Boosting the economy with it yes, but just buying normal things that just cost a little...okay, a lot more, than what we would."

Tachi turned back to the view. "Well. When you marry him, I'm walking you down the aisle."

The girl frowned. "Who said anything about marriage?"

"Oh. Come on. When you're in the same room as him it's as if your magnets. Actually, when you're not in the same room you're like magnets. No..." He thought of a better example. "...at home Chemistry set! No..." Chin tapping. "...you're going to have to settle with magnets.

Yuuki laughed once. "Alright, if you say so."

"I am boss."

"No, technically I'm boss. I pay you."

"I teach you. You obey me or die."

"Or die?"

"Or die."

So that's where she got her odd perception of sweeping generalisations.

Buckingham Palace, as per usual, was swarmed with camera bearing, shorts wearing, ice-cream eating tourists; all gazing at the windows to see the Queen even though the flag wasn't up.

Oddly enough, there was more than the usual amount of people trying to get the guards to move their immovable faces. Yuuki started as a little blonde figure sat on one of the high, black hats and waited for a tall dark figure to take a photograph.

"I said magnet." Tachi said into her ear.

"They should be jet-lagged..."

"Best way to overcome it is to get into a routine. And that means normal bedtime." Tachi watched as Mori pulled Hunny off the guard and walked a few paces back. "No one climbs straight into bed and throws their body clock out more like you."

"I get tired on airplanes."

Tachi laughed. Everyone got tired on airplanes. He then stepped back as the little blonde man noticed the slight brunette and promptly attacked her.

"YUU-CHAN!" Hunny hugged her tight as Yuuki tried to react in a civilised manner. "I didn't know you would be here! But now that you are, you can come get tea and cake with us!"

Mori stood silently nearby and watched with a somewhat amused expression as the girl began to convince Hunny to put his feet back on the ground. He then watched as the oerwhelemed Cunxin got enveloped by a taller blonde.

"Yuuki!" Tamaki hugged her from behind. "Ah. London's so nice in summer, is it not?"

"Yes, it's great. I can't breathe."

He loosed his grip but kept her in an embrace. "I love it here almost as much as I love Paris. Enough to not want to kill you for plotting with Kyoya."

"You can't kill me. I'm Haruhi's maid of honour."

"Oh." Tamaki seemed somewhat taken aback. "That's unfortunate." He began plotting his revenge and let her go as he proceeded to look thoughtful and princely at the same time.

Just as Yuuki thought it was over, a mirror set decided it was their turn to crush her personal bubble. "Yuuki!" Twin one. "It's so good to see you!" Twin two. "You're putting Haruhi on a plane was brilliant. We commend you." Unison. "But we don't understand the apartment thing."

"Mmm." Yuuki pried them off. "That's because it needs to be lived in and it only has one bed room."

"Only one?"

"Only one." She raised her eyebrows at their surprise. "It's not that abnormal."

Tamaki had overheard. "No! But it's tragic! To live in only one room!"

"No, no." Yuuki finally uncovered why they thought it was so awful. "It's not one room. It's one bed room. It's got a lounge and kitchen and private bathroom...linen closet..." Some of the tension melted away, but not all of it.

Haruhi was the one who had to explain the style of a single flat in the upper suburbs. Tamaki finally calmed down.

Hunny tugged on Yuuki's cardigan. "Did you ride the red busses?"

"Yes, did you?"

"No. Takashi says that they're too unhygienic." The blonde rubbed his eye.

"Well, yes. And no. How will you build up your immune system if you're not occasionally exposed to some germs?"

Mori raised his eyebrows and began to consider this. "So it would be better if we did travel on them?"

"It couldn't hurt." Yuuki shrugged and then flinched as another pair of arms tried to hug her from behind.

"It's just me." A familiar voice said in her ear. "Don't freak out." His embrace was dominating, slightly menacing, but welcome. It was him.

The girl exhaled in relief and wrapped her fingers around Kyoya's forearms. "Yes. 'Twas running out of hosts. Why are you here and not sleeping, demon lord?"

"Because, I'm the only one with connection enough to get tea in the palace grounds."

"You would want to eat cake with the Queen?"

"And drink warm beverages with milk. But no. I wouldn't. She's not even in."

"Well, let them drink cosmos." Yuuki scoffed.

"Wrong country."

"Marie Antoinette was European nonetheless."

"What are you doing here?"

The riding team was standing at the gates of the palace, taking photos with the guards. Tachi was standing near Mori, surveying the square. "It was raining earlier when we had a booking for the training ring. The indoor ring was booked. As Murphy's Law would have it, as soon as our session slot ended, the sky cleared. It was unanimous to spend the afternoon not in a saddle. We're going to do the tourist thing leading to eventing."

"Work never killed anyone."

"Except in industry and vending machine accidents and stress levels, heart attacks, killer staplers – which exist I'll have you know..."

Kyoya smiled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah."

Hunny saw the pair and felt left out. "GROUP HUG!" The little blonde threw himself into the couple, the twins shortly followed, Tamaki dragged Haruhi in and Mori sealed them all with his broad arms. Yuuki tried to give Tachi a _Help me_ glance through the arms, but couldn't even see that far.

When they finally parted she stumbled a few feet back. "I feel violated. I think I'm going to join my team now."

"Bye YUU-CHAN!" Hunny waved enthusiastically after taking his place on Mori's shoulders.

The Host Club waved, everyone except Kyoya who stood with his arms crossed, casually leaning on one leg. Watching her wave a cautious farewell. She met his gaze and said goodbye personally.

Nodding, the Ootori confirmed that he would still call her.

Yuuki joined her group. Jenny looked at the direction she had come from and her eyes went wide. "You know more of them?"

"Yes." The girl stared at the palace. "They are going to have tea in the grounds."

"How?"

"Because, their filthy rich and are connected. I don't know. They're the strangest bunch of people I've ever met."

"Who's the tall blonde?"

"An engaged man. You're married. Stop looking."

"To who?"

"The short brunette."

"Darn. She's cute."

"Yes. And you're old. Come on." Yuuki linked an arm through her friends and dragged her after the now retreating figure of the team captain, Junín.

"I'm not old. I'm just matured."

The Cunxin laughed. "No, no, you're not. I'm more mature than the elder folk I know."

"Which is why we envy your infinite wisdom and beauty." Victor appeared beside his wife.

Jenny elbowed her husband. "Why cant you get me tea in the palace grounds?"

"What?" He looked at Yuuki, confused.

The younger girl smiled and ducked her head. "Just instilling an unrealistic expectation of men."

"Yes. Well." Not pleased. "You're the only one who has a guy who can do that."

"I'm sure there are plenty of others."

"Yes. Probably. You're the only one I know."

"Yeah well."

It started to rain again.

-

By early evening, the whole team was squished into a booth in a pub in Soho. Everyone was drinking except Yuuki. She hated the taste. In fact, she hated most of the tastes of Britain. The food was very heavy, very filling and often full of gravy.

Tachi waved a mushroom in her face. "Not eating?"

"I'll get something on the way home."

"Like?"

"McDonalds?"

"Oh, because that's SO much healthier."

"They have '_Lite'_ options."

"Will you chose one of them?"

Yuuki smiled. "No." She reached for her soda. "I'll have...hm...ah...everything is just so hard to digest."

"What are you talking about? You don't digest. Everything you eat just _whoosh_ goes through you."

"Thank you for that." She pushed the still waving fork away.

"I just want you healthy and happy."

"We're there."

"Soda is not healthy."

"Neither is beer."

"It's got antioxidants in it."

"If I end up designated walker and cab caller, I'll hurt you." She pushed his drink away.

Tachi leaned back in the booth. "Where are your friends?"

"Probably getting thrown out of a restaurant for saying something obscene."

"They would say obscene things?"

"Not on purpose. If you haven't noticed, this whole country is xenophobic. Actually, the whole world is."

"Are you?"

"I'm half."

"So...you hate everyone besides the Poms and the Japanese."

"No. I don't hate anyone. I just don't have a defined place in society."

"Pfft. Melodramatic."

"Pfft, not so."

"Pfft, do explain."

Yuuki frowned at him. "You're so immature. Act your age."

Her instructor finally ate his mushroom. "My wife used to say that. She was very immature too though." Tachi seemed a little nostalgic. "She once decided to try adding numbers 'one plus one is two, two plus two is...' and she paused for such a long time that I had to love her and then tell her the answer was four."

Yuuki laughed. "You miss her?"

"Every day."

"What was she like?"  
"She was tall. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Dimples." He pointed to his cheeks. "She used to dance ballet. You'd have loved her Yuuki."

The girl smiled. She bet she would have. Tachi was soon becoming a family figure, not mature enough for father, not annoying enough for brother; but just someone who she could relate to on a familial level. "Well. I bet she would have loved me to." One should not dwell on topics that make the speakers face fall.

"Yeah. You wish." He spoke with his mouth full and recovered. It was funny how people who endure great suffering are always the sturdiest as opposed to the uneasy mess the rest of the world was. Yuuki appreciated Tachi for being that for her. For being the level of relations she had never had.

-

At ten, everyone arrived back and said their farewells before all disappearing. Yuuki headed for the stable and let herself into Zero's stall. He watched her and stood over her like a protector.

"Hey Zero." Yuuki slid to sit at his feet. "Guess what happened today?"

The horse pressed his nose to her shoulder, looking for something to eat.

"Well..." She held up her left hand and looked at it, bare in front of her, and smiled. Zero snorted. "Oi. Don't disapprove. Just because you don't like him doesn't annul him from my life." She rubbed his face. "Or you. Yeah. You liking the rain?" No response. "No. It's cold and wet. But we're in England, what else to expect?"

Her phone rang. Zero stood up straight and looked for the noise, not realising it came from the pocket of the girl on the floor. Yuuki fished her mobile out and looked at caller ID.

"Hello?"

"_How do you call a cab in this country?"_ Kyoya sounded displeased.

"The same as every country. Why?"

"_Because." _His tone was hard. _"I'm lost. And it's raining."_

"You, lost?"

"_Yuuki, please, just tell me how to do this." _

"Alright." Pause. "Go stand on a corner of a busy road."

"_It's raining."_

"Yes. I know. Go stand on the corner."

Short silence. _"Yes?"_

"Now, raise your arm and wave it a bit, but not like a maniac."

Another silence.

"Kyoya. Do it."

A short growl and then a stunned silence. _"It worked."_

"Well, yeah. You have to hail a cab."

There were a few clicking noises and muffled talk. _"Where do I live?"_

The girl smiled. "Corner of Smith and Park."

Muffled noises.

"Kyoya. It's not like you've never been to London before."

"_Yes. But it's not like I've ever had my phone contacts erased before."_

Yuuki frowned. "What?"  
_"Tamaki's revenge."_

"That's why you're currently on your own?"  
_"Yes."_

"I thought you had a pin."

"_I did. Tamaki unfortunately knew it."_

"It must not have been hard then."

Silence.

"Wait...when you said that it was the last four digits of your credit card ID, I thought you were trying to be funny."

"_No. I wasn't trying to be funny. I told you that in case you needed to use my phone in an emergency. Did you tell Tamaki?"_

"Maybe..."

Sigh.

"I'm sorry. You should have told me you were joking. It's not that evident sometimes."

"_Yeah. Well."_

"You remembered my number though."

"_Yes. Yes, I did."_

"That's an important contact."

"_Well forget your fiancé's number and die."_

Fiancé. Yuuki smiled quietly and felt suddenly anxious. "Well...I wouldn't kill you. Kill fiancé and then your single again."

"_Nice to know I'm being used as an accessory."_

"That word is very strange."

"_Accessory?"_

"Fiancé."

"_You don't like it?"_

The girl hugged her legs to herself, suddenly shy. "I like it. I just don't know what to do with it."

"_What are you supposed to do with it?"_

"I don't know. I was hoping you did."

"_Well, I didn't think anything would change. Actually, I'm rather adamant it doesn't."_

"Sweet. I'll live down the hall." She was alright with that. What had happened that morning, in thought, worried her. Yuuki didn't know what to do with that either. To self-conscious and inept. It was a giant step in the light of day when not in the presence of the one you love.

"_You didn't seem to mind this morning."_

Yuuki went scarlet. "Well...I mean, I didn't mind." She felt embarrassed saying that. "But...well...to be honest, the whole topic freaks me out." The girl knew all about intimacy from high school and uncomfortable innuendo from Deedle de and Deedle dum, but it was to close. She would have to let everything down. That scared her. To have someone so close emotionally and physically.

"_That's not something we have to think about now."_

"Or ever." Easier said than done, as had already been proved. In the moment, things looked different and made a lot less sense.

Short laugh. _"Yeah. Right."_ Kyoya knew that she loved him enough that, if he asked, she wouldn't keep her promise to him and herself; but he wouldn't. She knew the significance, as did he, and that sort of relationship, that sort of closeness, had never been in her life; not with friends, not with family, not with love. Yuuki had never taken down a brick from her wall until she met him.

"Okay. Enough of 'that' topic."

"_Yes."_ Respect of boundaries, wants and needs.

"Where are you?"  
_"Outside."_

"Outside where?"

"_The village. Your going to have to direct me."_

"Why are you at the village?"

Sigh. _"Tamaki decided to take the key you gave me. He said he would go to every house in London to find out which one is yours because I wouldn't tell him."_

Yuuki stood. "Well, you should have told him."

"_Would you?"_ And risk everything in the apartment.

Pause. "Probably not, hey?"

"_Enough commoner vocabulary."_

"Apologies."

"_Better."_ Yuuki didn't mind his controlling nature over her life. Sure, it got annoying and sometimes rubbed her backwards, but it was him. And she loved him and wouldn't change a thing. He would just have to learn to argue better on the days she felt stubborn.

"I'm coming to you. Just wait undercover."

"_No, I thought it was better if I stayed in the rain."_

"That's that new thing called sarcasm, right?"  
Silence. She hung up on him.

Yuuki walked to her dorm and found her wallet. Inside was the spare key to the apartment. The girl had locked herself out to many times to not have one. She found Kyoya leaning against the wall of a building attached to the front gate. _Main reception_ was printed on the window and a vending machine hummed in the background.

"Well. Seems you epic failed." Yuuki approached him with an umbrella. "The Shadow King himself, thrown off by a Prince."

Kyoya glared at her. "Not funny."

"Yes. Well, sometimes calculations go wrong." She held out the spare key. "I would know."

He took it from her. "You couldn't have given me both?" His voice was a low growl. It have obviously not been a pleasant evening.

"Well...no one expected you to be that disorganised or subject to the abuse of those you abused."

Kyoya took the umbrella from her. She was too short to hold it high enough and not take his eye out, and she would find a way to do so even though he was wearing glasses. The pair walked to the street again and stood in the drizzle, waiting for a cab.

Yuuki couldn't help but smile at the pathetic fallacy. "Look, they sky is crying for you."

He glanced down at her and then looked back at the vacant street.

She grumbled something about Mr Men in relation to Mr Grumpy. The girl noticed he was drenched almost through and then mumbled, amused, about Finding Nemo in relation to Grumpy Gills.

"I'm not a fictional character." Kyoya said flatly.

"No. But you're acting very stereotypically like one."

"I don't really give a damn at the moment."

"Someone's cold, wet, jetlagged and angry."

"Your powers of observation are amazing."

Yuuki glanced up at the figure. He was holding the umbrella on the side opposite to her, deflecting the angle of the rainfall. His face was very severe and his glasses hid whatever hellfire emotion was stirring behind them. The girl smiled slightly, despite the demeanour, he still stood as close to her as he could without getting her wet with his dampness; she was warm and soft and welcoming. Yuuki took his hand in hers. It was freezing, but it responded by wrapping a set of cold fingers around her palm. Kyoya turned his head to look at her and softened slightly behind his stone expression. He couldn't be as angry and tormented when he had something so precious and delicate so readily on offer.

"Thank you." The Ootori's voice was hard, calculating.

Yuuki ran a thumb over the top of his hand, telling him it was alright. "You need to invest in some gloves."

"Will it bring me merit?" The man's tone had melted a fraction.

"It will bring you away from frostbite."

Slightly amused silence.

A car pulled into the street. It was black. Kyoya scowled but then realised Yuuki was hailing it. "Some of the cabs are black." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The car pulled up in front of them. Yuuki turned to Kyoya and told him to keep the umbrella.

"Where will you be tomorrow?" He asked, opening the door.

"Right here." Came the reply.

"Alright." Kyoya gave the driver the address and turned to the girl before closing the door.

She smiled softly at him. "Love you."

"You too." He was defiantly not in the mood to initiate anything, but he would never not be in the mood to let her go unappreciated. Unmerited. She was the only person who truly knew the side to him no one saw. The side that had a heart made of flesh, not of numbers. Kyoya would forever be an Ootori to the outside world, but to her, she would always be his whole. The mask, the bad temper, the all knowing, stubborn and point making nature, the cold facade and the silent smiles.

And all of this to her, he knew that he was her equivalent.

_-_

_These days with the world getting colder  
She spends more time sleeping over  
Than I planned_

Tonight were gonna order in  
Drinking wine and watching CNN  
It's dark I know but then again  
It's the brightest thing I got

Well, I'm covered in rain  
Well, I'm covered in rain

Fire works to fire places  
Summer stolen, fallen places  
People watching, all the people watching, everybody watching me  
Standing by the missing signs at the CVS by the checkout line  
She puts her quiet hands in mine  
Cause she's the brightest thing I got

When you're covered in rain  
Cause I'm covered in rain  
Cause I'm covered in rain  
No I'm covered in rain

It's alright  
If you don't want to go on  
It's alright  
If you don't want to be alone  
It's alright  
If you don't want to go home

I understand  
I understand  
I understand  
You and me and everyone, covered in rain

_(Covered in Rain, John Mayer)_

_-_

------------

_Well. I think that needed to be addressed, if you didn't I do apologise for any awkwardness ensued. It was awkward for me. Yuuki and Kyoya are not a traditional couple, but at the same time they are not a modern couple. They are just them. There is no stereotype. As I said in a previous chapter, the word "Boyfriend" isn't one Yuuki liked to use because it just didn't...fit. She still feels she 'owes' him something and, for as long as this story has been going, cannot work out in what manner to repay him when, in fact, she's the first person he's not charging any debt to. That chapter was really about their relationship, respect, how emotion sometimes blinds us from what we have previously stated; basically that love, although good, is hard. It's hard to maintain promises. But, if its difficult, then its defiantly going to be worth it. _

_Thanks for reading, please do review; I really appreciate hearing what you think, reading suggestions...ect._

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	17. Chapter 15

-

**Chapter 15**

**­-**

Yuuki tried to skip the opening ceremony. She hated it. The cameras, the crowd, the yelling. It was like being in a pit of preschoolers who all thought that their team was the best and would shout it until everyone believed it.  
Somewhere in the crowd sat the host club. Somewhere in the mass of writing bodies. Yuuki didn't hold a flag but she did plaster a smile on her face and wave her hand around a bit in a pleasant manner. The uniform was alright though. Black pants, red shirt with white detailing. Every athlete was expected to be there, and everyone was. All took photos, grinned, waved and laughed their way through while Yuuki shrank, got a headache and a sore arm. Dully she felt her mobile vibrating. Many others were on their phones, talking to loved ones overseas or something of the like.

She pulled it out. "Hello?"

"_..."_

"I can't hear you." Yuuki put one finger in her ear.

"_Yuuki! You're on T.V! SMILE!"_

"Tamaki...Go play in traffic."

"_I can't hear you, what?"  
_"I said say hi to everyone."

"_She says hello." _Pause. _"Everyone says hello."_

"Where are you?"  
_"Private box, right near the front. Near the Prime Minister and Queen! Kya. It's so awesome, you have no idea."_

Yuuki had no idea where the Prime Minister and the Queen were, she didn't even know the Queen was still alive and unretired. "That's nice Tamaki."

"_You'll come join us after the ceremony for a party?"_

"Why?"  
_"TO CELEBRATE!"_

"What?"  
_"The Olympics."_ His voice fell to promote her idiocy. _"Duh."_

"What are we doing now then? It'll be very late anyway."

"_All the clubs will be open."_

"We'll see. Depends if you want to deal with the wrath of Hunny when he gets tired."

Pause. _"Oh yeah."_

"Okay, well I have some important thing to do right now revolving around one of mankind's oldest traditions to bring peace, unity, love and all that. Talk to you later, bubi." She hung up. The music, the cheering, Tamaki. Bad, bad combination. Her head began to throb.

Yuuki never thought it would happen, but for the first time ever, she felt herself wishing that the competition was just over and life could go on as it had. So that she could just be the normal person she was. She loved to ride, it was her income, but she hated this. She hated the attention, the loud noises, people yelling at her for reasons she couldn't comprehend.

After the ceremony, Yuuki met the Host Club in a private booth at the top of the stadium. She went straight for her bag and got paracetamol, water and a different jacket. After downing the two former, she unzipped her tracksuit to reveal a normal white t-shirt before pulling her red bomber jacket over the top. The hideous other was discarded.

Tamaki was exclaiming in excitement the whole time this was going on. Yuuki ignored him coolly. A method taught to her by Kyoya. It wasn't very effective at shutting the blonde up, but it helped slightly.

"That was so awesome Yuu-chan! All the colours!" Hunny was sitting on a sofa, obviously a little tired, as could be seen by the lack of bouncing. "Did you have fun?"

The girl sat next to him, forgetting she would promptly get attached to. "Yes, Hunny. There were lots of colours...and noises...and more noises."

"And we were under the impression you had selective hearing." The twins said in unison before taking her Japanese team jacket. "This is hideous." Presumably Hikaru. "Not as bad as Peru's though." Kouru. Presumably. "Good thinking brining that jacket. You can't go out wearing this one."

Yuuki leaned back. "I don't plan on going out right now."

"What? Why?"

"It's past midnight."

"So?"  
"I wake up at four."

Stunned silence. Even Tamaki, the morning person, was shocked. "Why dear princess? It's not morning until the sun has come up!"

"The sun comes up, eventually." Yuuki didn't have anything on the next day and she planned to sleep. She had not been born a morning or night person but had been made to live a life of both.

"The sunrise..." The blonde took on a different tangent. "It's so romantic! So fresh!"

Haruhi touched her fiancés arm and he quietened some before wrapping her in his arms and spinning her, talking excitedly about the morning. Haruhi smiled gently, to used to his behaviour to be annoyed. She told him that yes, she liked the morning too.

"It was meant to be!" Tamaki held the woman to his chest and grinned like the proud, optimistic, lovable maniac he was.

Kyoya was leaning against a wall at the back, writing something in his ever present clipboard. Work. Detailing the events of the evening in accordance to his relationship with the 2012 games. The Ootori group was about the happiness and wellbeing of people, supposedly, and it was their job to take note on what made people happy and what made them healthy. The opening ceremony defiantly made people joyous, but healthy was another issue. The man raised an eyebrow with Mori at Tamaki's antics. He was still pissed that his phone contacts had been deleted; it had taken two hours to put them all back in again. Fortunately he carried a contact book as backup.  
Yuuki smiled softly at the sight of him, just being the evil, demon Shadow King, straddling the background with a cold and stony silence. Very calculating persona. The girl peeled Hunny off her, afraid he would stay long enough to attach and become a living, breathing organism that was part of her being. His body could handle copious amounts of sugar, hers could barely tolerate sweet tea.

The little blonde attached himself to Mori and, rather promptly, declared he was tired and fell asleep in his stand in brothers arms. The twins scowled. They wanted to party and get up to something naughty.

"I'm sorry twins. But I don't actually know the 'party' scene here. I've never wanted to know it either. I love my liver too much."

"Your liver?" They said in unison.

"You can only party in London with one hand." The other was most often holding a drink.

"You don't have to drink."

Yuuki raised her eyebrow at them before letting her head rest against the couch. She had tucked her legs under herself and had been leaning on a slant; the seat was one of those monsters that children got lost in. "Sleep. Sleep is better."

"You're boring."

The girl smiled coyly and didn't open her eyes.

The twins continued to talk to her as if the happenings of the evening were up to her. "What if we take your 'significant other'?"

The subtle scratching in the back of the room stopped. Kyoya stared blankly, the face behind his mask praying that it wouldn't come to abduction.

Yuuki opened her eyes and met the Ootori's. With a smug smile she replied. "Take him."

Hikaru's face fell. Or, probably Hikaru's. She couldn't tell. He looked rather evil and called her bluff. "So...we can get him drunk?"

The Cunxin knew her 'significant' other would be mortified at their discussion."No."

"Why?"

"What happened to free will?" Yuuki sat back up.

Kyoya crossed the room, knowing she sucked severely at handling more than one person at a time. "We have this booth booked until tomorrow, it was originally intended to be a meeting room for the executives of the games, but it's doubtful anyone will turn up at this hour to supervise pack-up."

Tamaki stopped mugging Haruhi. "So...we can just stay here?" He didn't want to be apart yet, but he didn't want to go out.

The Ootori pushed his glasses up and sank into the couch beside the Cunxin. "I said that."

"Hikaru! Kouru!" The Prince pointed at the pair. "Go get supplies!"

The twins stood, understood that it was their opportunity to get out and amongst it whilst still being able to return to the group. They saluted and disappeared.

"The better get Pringles." Yuuki crossed her arms, slightly annoyed that she would have to stay awake.

"When do you start competition?" Kyoya was buried in his work again.

"A week."

"Not training that week?"

"No." It was part of their regime to lessen the load slowly before a competition so that they and the horses would be at their peak and relaxed for the events.

Kyoya's tone was flat but slightly pleased. "Good."

Yuuki leaned softly against him, not enough to disturb his work, but enough to let him know she was there. Her headache was slowly lifting and the situation began to look more like fun and less like an enjoyable pain. The Host Club. The girl smiled. Where would she be without the host club? After ten minutes she craned her neck to see what Kyoya was writing. It didn't make any sense. "What are you doing?"

"Calculating the profit of the sponsorship."  
Pause. The girls eyebrows knitted together."Doesn't sponsoring mean your...giving away money?"

"Yes. But it also means that your public approval rating goes up. Already we have grossed more than this cost of the deal and the games only just started." He looked very pleased. Hotels were full, theme parks bustling, more people enrolling for private health cover with the Ootori group and patients beginning to trust the system and overcoming their fear of hospitals. It was also a bonus that at every venue owned by the Ootori group was equipped with screens displaying twenty four hour coverage of the Olympics.

"You're about as deep as a puddle."

"What country is this puddle in?"

"One without potholes."

Kyoya laughed quietly and continued his business. When the twins arrived back bearing supplies from an open petrol station. Also known as; a variety of confectionary and chips that smelt slightly like meth. Hunny woke up and went straight for the marshmallows before becoming contented again. Tamaki scrutinised everything until he was satisfied that this 'commoner' tradition wouldn't kill them all. Daddy's duty to protect. Hikaru had brought iPod speakers and decided to rummage through Yuuki's bag until he found her phone. The event was almost as tragic as Tamaki's delve in the hospital. Half the songs on the device were neglected and only there as freebies from other downloads. However, these neglected sounds were often the favourites of another and, rather annoyingly, became the theme songs of the evening. Everyone was together, and contented with the matter.

**---**

_Day 1: Show Jumping. _

_----_

Yuuki rode into the ring, tipped her helmet and cantered to the start mark. In the crowd somewhere was the Host Club and Tachi; watching with baited silence. The quietness. She hated it. It meant people were watching, praying she either knock, or clear every jump.

_And we have Yuuki Cunxin on Zero Tolerance representing Japan. The pair took gold at Beijing, let's see if they can do it again._

The announcer said carefully before taking his muted place in the audience. It was puissance, the highest course a rider could do. Because Yuuki was light, it wasn't too much of a problem for Zero, but being that far off the ground and totally reliant on half a tonne of animal was always slightly unnerving when people were expecting you to perform perfectly. The girl could feel her necklace thunking slightly against her collarbone under her shirt, perfectly in time with the lead leg. Zero took the first jump. He loved it. He loved jumping. It was the reason they were good at it. Yuuki herself enjoyed it, but it wasn't her passion. She didn't know what her passion was anymore. It had always been told to her, but she had never had a chance to decided it. She was annoyed at Kyoya for pointing that out. Her world was comfortable until he mentioned it. In the week leading to eventing, the pair had visited the tourist hot-spots with the Host Club and explored the local favourites as a couple. Yuuki showing him the places she loved about the city. Kyoya was amused when she took him to a cafe on the Thames. The river stunk in summer, it was terrible and wondered why she had chosen such an ill placed coffee shop. But then she told him about the bridge. About how she would sit in his seat and watch it lift for the boats and drop for the cars. She said it made her think of him, changing for different circumstances but always offering a well known course, despite its seeming unpredictable propriety.

The horse took off at the fourth, Yuuki didn't flinch as his hooves clipped the top rail, she just prayed it wouldn't fall. It didn't, but only just, they were going a bit too fast. The last few jumps leading to the triple were cleared easily. The final three themselves were the most difficult, but the pairs favourite. Predictable, although hard, continuous momentum required and a steady mind. Zero cleared them. The crowd finally broke its silence.

Yuuki ducked her head shyly and petted her horse.

_A personal best for the young rider. A clear round. Let's see if anyone can beat that._

And they did. The Germans had brushed up since 2008. The eventing wasn't over yet. There were still two days and silver was still in Japanese hands.

---

_Day 2: Cross Country_

_---_

The buzzer went. Zero shot off. He knew exactly what that meant. The course was slippery because of the recent rain and soft underfoot which made landing difficult.

Yuuki wasn't concerned. The horse knew what he was doing. The only time she got nervous was when the drop off approached. She remembered the time she fell off. Riders fell off, all the time. She had fallen off to many times to count; but that time had been the start of something that could not be erased. A transition of life from one point to the other, unconsciously. And it had been scary.

Zero saw the jump, flattened his ears and began to turn his neck to refuse. The girl pulled him back and urged him on. The horse threw his head and reared. His experience with the jump had not been pleasant and did not signal anything other than a horrifying fall. After hours of training, they could not get him to go over first try.

Yuuki turned Zero tight and aimed him at the jump again. He refused. Three refusals and you're out. The girl rode him back twenty meters, turned and went at it again. This time he prepared under her. He bunched to take off and his rider rose. And then, Zero stopped dead with his teeth bared and ears flat as if the drop was an enemy. The slippy ground was out to repeat the past. In his mind, the jump was one big fat to-don't. For Yuuki, apparently staying in the saddle was one big fat to-don't as well and she ended up going over his shoulder as the horse skidded to a slippy halt in front of the fence. Instant disqualification. The Cunxin hit the jump with the back of her shoulders as she flipped out of the saddle and slid off the wet wood onto her back. The grass was very wet, and cushiony. Riders are trained to not let go of the reigns so when she ended up on the other side of the jump, Zero was the one preventing her from slipping down the hill. The drag on his mouth made her let go, she needed him soft-lipped for dressage. Yuuki dug her heels into the ground to stop her sliding.

She stared at the sky, blue for the first time in days, and took her helmet off. Soon someone would be at her side, asking her if she was alright. Yes, she would reply, she was fine. Just a bruise. Fancy your grass, nice and soft. They would then ask if she had concussion and she would shake her head and come out of the shock of a fall. Her team would have to get great times if they wanted to get gold now.

Tachi was the first at her side as Yuuki sat up. He asked all the relevant questions and told her to follow his finger.

"I'm fine. Get your hand out of my face." She hissed, not pleased that she had come off. Failure was up there with her biggest fears.

"It's not your fault Yuuki. Some horses just don't react the same after an experience. You did everything you were supposed to."

The girl stood, much to the disapproval of the medic at her side. "Yeah. I think ... my back hurts. Can we get some ice?"

The medic realised her head was alright, finally, and led her away. Tachi followed and told the members of the team who had already ridden that she was fine and then went to go get Zero.

Yuuki sat in the first aid tent and took her jacket off. Her whole back throbbed. It was regulation to have female doctors for female patients and the Cunxin was very thankful because she had to remove her shirt in order for the damage to be assessed.

The elderly woman clucked her tongue. "You'll be stiff tonight." She pressed the red mark that stretched across the middle of her shoulder blades. "At least you'll have a reason to keep your back straight and still for dressage."

Yuuki turned her head slightly to glance at the doctor. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Oh. Don't be hard on yourself." She tapped the examination table, indicating the girl lie on it, before reaching to the table she had left the ice pack on. "People fall off, your horse can't be trained to forget things."

"You saw that one, huh?" Yuuki flinched at the ice. It was freezing. In an attempt to be comfortable, she crossed her arms under her face and rested her chin on her wrist.

"Everyone saw it. You don't get gold medallists falling off and not making the sports news. Especially when the next games are in your city."

"Huh."

"Brave of you though. That little girl looked rather shaken."

Had been rather stupid. "She picked the horse." Yuuki smiled. She would have done the same at that age.

"Alright, love." The doctor turned to leave. "You stay there for twenty minutes and I'll return with a hot pack to help with the stiffness. You just got to prevent it bruising first."

Yuuki doubted it wouldn't bruise. Her back had its own personal migraine going on. A figure appeared at the cloth divider that separated all the examination rooms. It was Tachi. She could tell. He was the only one who would try smoke inside a medical unit and was promptly told to get rid of the 'caner stick'. He then returned to stand outside. "Yuuki?"

"Yes. Tachi, it's me."

"Are you decent?"

"Um..." She had a singlet on but would rather no one saw her in it. "I'd rather you stayed outside."

"Alright."

"How mad is everyone?"  
"Not very."

"As in, some are?"

"As in Germany's not doing so well and we're going to sit on bronze after this." Possibly less depending on how the other teams rode.

"So...be really good tomorrow?"  
Gold was, in all probability, not going to happen, not without Yuuki's time. "Yeah." Tachi sighed. "You better be exceptional tomorrow or Ima have to give you some advice on time management."

"Ima?"

"Isn't that how you kids talk?"

"No, we say 'I'm going to.' Like the rest of society."

"Really? What's with the films?"

"Since when have films been an accurate depiction of reality?"

"When haven't they?"

"Since Disney opened up for production."

Tachi laughed. "Well, obviously you didn't hit your head."

Yuuki smiled and tried to ignore the sting of the ice on her back. "How long has it been?"  
"What do you mean?"

"I can take the ice off in twenty minutes."

Smug laugh. "It's not been five, I can assure you that. Uncomfortable?"

"Very."

There was a silence. "You have visitors."

"Tell them to go away."

"Ha." The girl watched as his position shifted and became defensive.

"YUU-chan!" A bright voice called and burst past the instructor before he could stop him. "Are you alright?"

Yuuki sighed and buried her head in the crook of her arm. "I'm fine."

"What's wrong? Does it hurt." Hunny stood by her head and grinned compassionately.

"No. But I will hurt the twins if they come in here." She said loud enough for whoever was still outside could hear.

"Why?" Came a crisp voice.  
"Because..."

"Because what?" Twin one stuck his head in, grinned devilishly and was joined by twin two, their faces seemed somewhat disappointed. "Oh, you're wearing a singlet. It's not that exciting." It was as if they were expecting more, or less. "You wouldn't let us in because you're wearing a singlet? That's stupid."

"That's not the point. It's the principle of the matter." Yuuki replied flatly.

"We saw you in your swimmers at the beach that time."

"Swimmers are different."

"How?"

The girl paused. How was walking around in your underwear any different other than that it wasn't waterproof? "I wore a full piece."

"You're wearing more than that now."

Yuuki glared at them over her shoulder and noticed Mori in the 'room' for the first time. "Okay, Deedle de and Deedle dum, please, vacate." She saw the silhouette of Tachi wrestling outside with another, most likely Tamaki, while another figure stood patiently to the side.

Haruhi appeared and pushed the boys out and told them to stay there.

"Thank you." Yuuki rested her head back on her wrist; the ice had slipped down some and was offending the unoffended parts of her back.

"You alright?"  
"Yes. I'm fine."

"Did it hurt?"  
"Not really." It hurt now though. The stiff, achy sort of pain often associated with the day after a heavy lactic acid work out.

"We tried to come straight, but they don't let large groups in at once, so Hikaru a slit in the tent and almost got us all thrown out."

Yuuki laughed. "You know, all Kyoya had to do was say his name and you'd all get five star treatment in here."

The girl paused and tapped her chin. "I didn't think of that. His influence reaches this far?"  
"Who's sponsoring the medical supplies?"

Pause. "Oh. Right."

"Speaking of which, can you tell Tachi to stop trying to murder your fiancé?"

Haruhi smiled. "He just wanted to see if you were okay."

"Good guy one you got there." Yuuki slipped into 'girl talk'.

"Well, yours is alright too."

"I'd say more than alright. But then again, I'd say that Tamaki was less than perfect."

The other girl laughed. "Everyone's got different tastes."

Tachi had restrained the blonde and had held a slightly decent discussion with him about respecting girls. "Yuuki?"

"Yes?" She called back.

"Haruhi's insignificant other wants to see you."

"So I gathered." Yuuki watched as Haruhi scowled at the 'insignificant other' phrase.

"Your Mclovin' wants to come in."

"Stop saying weird phrases. They make you seem poorly educated." The Cunxin said flatly.  
"Yeah, when was the last time I said a weird phrase?" The men were forgotten.

"Beside just then? At dinner in the mess. You said... 'That meal's guna stick to your ribs'." The girl paused. "I'm not so sure I want to eat that then."

Tachi laughed. "I have a child of my own. Much younger than you. Must be rubbing off. The other day I called a cow a 'moo'."

"I remember that." Yuuki replied. "You're such an old man."

"Respect your elders." Pause. "Blondie looks very serious."

"Alright." Yuuki sighed. "Whatever." The Cunxin took the ice off and sat up; she hated ice for health purposes. It didn't feel healthy at all and was just making her even more stiff. The girl grabbed her shirt a pulled it on over the singlet, buttoning it in the middle.

"Meaning we can come in!?" Tamaki's voice rang from the other side of the curtain.

"Yeah."

The blonde exploded into the suit and grabbed Yuuki's hands. His eyes desperately compassionate. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Tamaki."

"Are you?" He queried.

"Yes. Tamaki."

"I mean...you can't tell us if you're not fine. You fell about eight feet!"

"Is that what they told you on the speakers?"

"Yes."

"Well. Technically I fell eight feet. From the tip of my head to the ground. But I didn't come off from the height of the top of my head, did I?" She fell. Nothing significant. It hurt, yes, but gravity tends to do that.

Tamaki paused and thought. "No. But you hit the jump!"

"Yeah, well, it didn't move out of the way."

Suoh laughed, finally believing she was alright. Kyoya was standing at the entrance beside Tachi. "How bad is it?"

"Just a bruise." Yuuki smiled reassuringly at him.

"Pfft." Haruhi slipped out.

"What does that mean?" Tachi's face was scrutinising.

The girl said a silent sorry to Yuuki. "The whole top of her back is turning purple."

"Purple?" The Cunxin looked inside the collar of her shirt and tried to see, but that's the difficulty with backs. They tend to be, well, at the back.

Kyoya was rather suddenly a dominating presence behind her. "Off."

"What?" Yuuki looked at him.  
"Off." He motioned the shirt.

"No."

"Why?"

"Because."

"You're wearing a shirt under that one and you only have to slip this one..." He tugged the collar of her riding shirt. "...down a bit."

"No." Yuuki said stubbornly.

"Yuuki." Kyoya was firm. She knew he wanted to assess the damage, judge it for himself. It was just how he worked. How he displayed care.

"Kyoya." Yuuki shot back mockingly, not quite as firmly.

There was an expectant silence from the man. Tense, firm and overpowering.

The girl scowled. "You're a pain, you know that?" She undid the button holding the shirt together but didn't pull her arms out of it. Letting the material slide to just below her shoulder blades.

"And you're in pain." Kyoya brought his forefinger and thumb to his chin. There was a thick, reddish-purple line forming across the girls back on a slight diagonal. It started below her left shoulder blade and finished mid-way up the right. There was a short white scar just below her shoulder and he remembered the last time he'd had to fix her up. "You need..."

"Ice. I know." She finished.

"Why aren't you using it?"

"Because, it's cold."

"It tends to be." Kyoya picked the discarded bag off the examination table.

Tachi went to stand beside the Ootori and clucked his tongue upon seeing the forming bruise. "I'm guessing it hurts."

"Not that much." Yuuki was not pleased that everyone had developed a sudden interest in her health. Her instructor, out to prove the point Kyoya had started, pressed his finger to the middle of the mark, right on her spine where the bone had been bruised as well as the skin. Yuuki hissed and spun to glare at him. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For not listening to him." Tachi pointed at Kyoya, putting the blame on the Ootori.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I can't force you to put this on, but if you don't it's going to make the Ootori group look like they did a less than mediocre job on an athlete."

Yuuki turned around stubbornly, pulled her shirt up and crossed her arms. "You're less than mediocre."

"Stop being childish."

"Stop being ..." Trying to think of comeback. "...annoying."

"I have no objection to telling..." Kyoya said threateningly. No one knew what he meant except Yuuki. Everyone guessed he meant he had no objection to her being iced, but the girl knew he had absolutely no objection to telling them about their engagement.

"Well I do. You promised." Yuuki didn't look at him.

"I did. But so did you." Oh. Snap.

"Oh! But you made sure I kept my promise, and that sort of...uh...thing, isn't going to happen again so don't get your hopes up." She spun around to face him fully, ending up crossed legged on the table. "I'm going to make sure you keep your promise too."

Now Tachi was lost. "I'm confused."

"Yeah. Me too." Tamaki said from the corner Haruhi had confined him to.

The pair were staring at each other, not blinking. This went on for about a minute. The silence was deafening. Both of them were being stubborn, thick headed and opposing. Kyoya closed his eyes, unconsciously breaking the hold he had on her. Yuuki pointed, grinning. "I win!"

"I wasn't playing." He said, pushing his glasses up, smiling invisibly. "It's your loss if you don't ice it." He gave up on her. Her freedom gave him boundaries and vice versa.

"Yes, but you blinked first."

"I wasn't playing."

Yuuki crossed her arms and spun around again. Kyoya wrapped his fingers around the top of her shoulders, above the bruising, and turned her back. The girl cursed the slipperiness of the bench and almost fell off. The Ootori leant heavily on his arms, his hands on either side of her, and brought his face close. Threateningly close. "If you're going to play, play nice."

Yuuki frowned at him. Her arms still crossed stubbornly, her legs crossed. "No."

Tachi sighed where he stood behind Kyoya. "You are worse than a toddler. Just..." He waved his hand in the air. "Bah." Yuuki's instructor, tired of her objections, left the room and went to join the rest of the Japanese team.

Tamaki got dragged out by Haruhi, exclaiming. "Why!? Their so interesting. I mean...you're interesting too, but Kyoya with actual emotions beyond the basics? Seriously. I want to watch!"

"Would you want someone there watching us?" Haruhi tugged him outside.

The blonde paused. "Oh. No. I wouldn't. Doesn't mean I don't want to watch them though."

"You're perverted."

"You brought it up."

Meanwhile, back inside Yuuki was maintaining the belief that ice was cold and uncomfortable and graciously accepted the heat pack the doctor brought her. The doctor was surprised to see another person in the room and then flustered when she realised who it was. She left as soon as she had come; muttering something about newspapers.

"What about newspapers?" Yuuki maintained her childish position whist attempting to put the warmth on her back. It kept slipping.

"Well, news in Japan reaches here a little while later." Kyoya was still leaning on the table, very much in her face.

The girl was leaning away slightly, he was being menacing, manipulating and she couldn't help but want to bend to his needs. His Ootori mannerisms were dominating. "And that means..."

"Apparently we're secret lovers."

"Well...that's not really a secret."

"No, it's not." Pause. "But it creates a stir."

"About us?"

"Yes."

"What about us?"

"Remember..._Olympian and Gentleman..._"

"Oh. That photo?"

"That photo."

Yuuki's cheeks flashed scarlet. "International?"

"International."

"Do you not feel anything about that?"

"No, not really."

"Yeah..." Pause. "Yes. Sorry. But you're...um...together? You know what to do with that. I have no idea."

Kyoya laughed. His breath was warm against her throat. Yuuki stopped trying to argue with the heat pack and stared at him. Questioningly.  
"Well..." The Ootori's voice was smooth. Steady. "The publicity is good. There hasn't been anything negative yet."

"Oh good." Yuuki said sarcastically. "There's just a photo of us...doing that thing, at a party." She couldn't say kissing. Too embarrassed to.

"Makes us human."

"Well...I don't know what I was before that..." The girl threw the heat pack down beside her, giving up completely.

Kyoya leaned back. Yuuki swallowed and remembered to breathe again. "Lie down."

"No."

"Yuuki."

"Meh."

"Real vocabulary please."

"I just want to put Zero away and go home."

Kyoya paused and stared at her. A horse before her well being. "Alright."

Stunned silence. "Alright?"

"That's what I said."

Yuuki blinked. "Alright."

Kyoya spun her around again and pushed her off the table. "Go."

Two hours later the girl was curled up on a big red sofa watching _Annie Get your Gun_ while Kyoya pretended to be interested but ended up watching her. He liked the way the way the corners of her eyes lifted when something amusing happened. The way her breathing slowed when something was about to happen. The way her fingers twitched slightly when she got a small fright and didn't want to admit it. To him, she was the greatest mystery and the most interesting subject he had tried to learn. Kyoya Ootori had maintained the bottom line while everyone else had tried to maintain his. Until he met Tamaki. Then his top line was the only thing good enough. But now...even that level of expertise couldn't answer the inner workings of the girl beside him. She was stiff, her back obviously sore, but ignoring it. Just as she had her whole life. Just as he had covered up all of his.

-------

_Day 3: Dressage_

_-------_

Traditionally, dressage is a day one event. Traditionally, the world wasn't. Yuuki was glad it was day three; her back was so stiff it was hard to have anything but perfect posture. The bruise had turned dark purple overnight and become most uncomfortable. Zero bouncing under her didn't help. Neither did the scathing remarks from the team captain. She had cost them gold. All they could get this time was bronze.

Yuuki finished her routine and touched her fingers to her hat to honour the judges before riding Zero out. The horse snorted, he hated dressage. He hated his ego being confined to such a small stage. The girl petted him as they exited the arena and rode him to the holding stables. Her team was standing, waiting for the results of her round to come through. As Yuuki dismounted, she was embraced by Jenny.

"Best time of the day. You're forgiven for falling off."

The younger girl flinched. "Back. Back.. Ow. Jenny. Let go."

"Oh." The woman let go. "Sorry." Pause. "Still, you better hope the rest of us go alright. It looks like we're going bronze or nothing this year."

Yuuki smiled in encouragement. She didn't care if she got a medal. Making it to that level was achievement enough. For the first time, first didn't matter. She didn't want it. Gold just put an expectation on you to achieve better the next time, and there was no better. Yuuki didn't want to be gilded with a metal, defined by her wins. She just wanted to be her.

At the end of the day, the Japanese totalled fourth. Everyone on the team was a little upset, after working so hard to go home with nothing. Yuuki was the only one content. There was one week of the games to go yet, and they could spend that relaxing. Enjoying themselves. Having some time off after so many hours on. Sleeping in. Zero could go to paddock for a week and reward himself for being a champion to his owner.

-

_Tell me Quando, Quando, Quando_

_-_

The girl joined the host club that evening, after packing everything away, for a celebratory dinner.

"To fourth!" Tamaki exclaimed. "Because you already have gold!"

Everyone laughed. Hunny tried to, but he settled for a giant smile as his mouth was already preoccupied with dessert. The twins tried to swap Yuuki's drink for a Bacardi Breezer but Kyoya got there first and swapped it with theirs instead. Of course, they noticed this and decided to do their 'get the girls in the host club drunk' game when Kyoya wasn't around. It was their sick and slightly illegal new sport because Haruhi kept telling which one was Hikaru.

The restaurant was sophisticated but designed for the middle class and thus had a slightly uptight feel about it. The group was the only set of people that were relaxed and who didn't hesitate to order anything, despite a couple exorbitant prices. They had moved from the table they had eaten at and taken up residence in a lounge that looked over the Thames. Its huge window allowed a beautiful, nightlife view. Haruhi was comfortably wrapped against Tamaki, Hunny was enthralled with the supposedly endless dessert menu, Mori was happy watching, the twins were plotting and Kyoya...Kyoya had an arm around Yuuki, his hand firmly resting on her ribcage. The girl was leaning into him, not minding being trapped between his side and arm. She had her own arm wrapped around his waist, moulding herself against him.

Big Ben tolled eleven. Yuuki stirred and turned her head to the window. It started to rain. Smatterings of heaven exploded against the glass. There were light voices from above in the restaurant and the chinking of cutlery. The Host Club sat. One hour until a new day. One hour closer to the end of the evening. The end of the day.

Tamaki was chatting with Haruhi, Hunny had fallen asleep against Mori who was content to sit and watch the world from his place in life. The twins were both reading a book they had found on the coffee table, one of those motivational ones with amazing photography.

Yuuki looked at Kyoya. He was watching the rain. "Each to their own." She said quietly.

He turned to look at her. "In theory."

She gave him a questioning look.

"You belong to me no more than I belong to you." He pushed her hair back characteristically.

Yuuki softened. "Maybe we don't belong to each other. But I know we defiantly belong together." She paused. "Each to their own. Not ownership. Compatibility."

Kyoya paused and thought a moment. His fingers lingered on her temple. "Interesting view."

The girl knew he thought it was the right view; he was just too stubborn to admit he hadn't come up with it himself. She caught his hand with her own and kissed it softly before returning it.

The man pulled her closer and let her rest her head on his shoulder. Her devotion. His loyalty. Their respect. "Just tell me when." He said quietly so no one would hear.

Yuuki nodded. When would she let him buy her a ring and make it official to the world and not just to them. "It's not that I don't want to...I just..."

"You're scared." He said straight out, softly into her hair.

"Mm...yes."

"Of what?"

"Of fragility."

Kyoya stared out the window. "Which is why we value respect and trust."

"I didn't know you were a relationship expert." Their words were slow, quiet.

"I'm still learning."  
"Yeah, me too." Yuuki felt him breathing under her hand.

She didn't want to break again. But, deep down she knew that the safest place in the whole world, the place she was supposed to be, was with him. They might drop each other from time to time, but they had the first aid kit, the perfect one, unique to their needs. Still learning the lesson they would never get tired of. The girl swallowed and closed her eyes. The reality of her situation hit home, warm, frightening, adoring. Kyoya was watching the rain, watching the city. Life abundant. He heard a quiet voice call his name lightly. A shy but truthful and resolute voice. He had thought Yuuki had fallen asleep on him, but when he looked at her he stared straight into her eyes. There was no trace of duty, but only free will. Her will. Softly she showed him that it was nothing of him that had made her decide. Her gaze was endless and he wondered why. To what depth it truly reached, for surely it had an end. Big Ben chimed again. Midnight. A new day. New chances. New beginnings. An opportunity to leave the past behind and go on with life. To leave everything that had every tied an individual down behind, to decide one's own fate.

Kyoya felt her heartbeat increase through her ribcage. Like butterflies.

Yuuki opened her mouth to speak. Shy, truthful, resolute.

"When."

-

_We were both young when I first saw you.  
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:  
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.__(Love Story, Taylor Swift)_

See the lights; see the party, the ball gowns.  
See you make your way through the crowd  
and say hello;

Little did I know  
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,  
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."  
And I was crying on the staircase,  
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'

And I said,  
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.  
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.  
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.  
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.  
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,  
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"  
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'

And I said,  
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.  
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.  
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess  
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me; they're tryin' to tell me how to feel.  
This love is difficult, but it's real.  
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.  
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

I got tired of waiting,  
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.  
My faith in you was fading  
When I met you on the outskirts of town.

And I said,  
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.  
I keep waiting for you but you never come.  
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,  
"Marry me, Juliet. You'll never have to be alone.  
I love you and that's all I really know.  
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress;  
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

-----------

_The 'when' really ties through with the song Quando, Quando from a previous chapter. _

_So yeah. I hope you liked it. _

_Please review it, I value your thoughts._

_If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to PM/review; anything about the story, muses, whatever. If it interests you, then I'd be delighted to answer._

_Blessings,_

_-pp_

_P.S: Just letting everyone know in advance, I will be away from this coming Tuesday till Friday. So...if you live in front of the Greenwich Meridian then those are the days. It's Monday to Thursday if you live in America. So keep a lookout for a post on Monday (Sunday), I'll try making it extra long, and then a gap before I post one on Saturday (Friday). Also, I should be posting every day again soon as I'm finally getting on top of things. Hope that my absence won't be too much of a problem or lose your interest. All my readers and reviewers are valuable and I can't thank you enough for your continued support. _


	18. Chapter 16

-

**Chapter 16**

**-**

Red busses. Kyoya discovered that Yuuki had a thing for Red Busses and refused to travel anywhere touristy unless she was in one. She told him 'When In Rome.' Countless times, to which is reply was always. "We're in London."

Yuuki looked over her shoulder as she climbed onto a bus. "You know what I meant." Pause. "And, if your perfectly upper-class hands get any germs on them, I have hand sanitiser in my bag."

Kyoya scowled and followed her up the steps and into a seat. "Where are we going?"

"Museum."

"Which one?"

"I don't know yet. This bus said 'museum' on it, so, we're going to a museum."

The Ootori couldn't help but smile. He didn't like not knowing where he was going, but neither did she. She just got a vague answer where he got to the details.

Kyoya was staring out a window when he felt himself being encircled. His smile remained as Yuuki locked her arms around his chest and put her chin on his shoulder. "Interesting outdoors?"

"It's overcast."

"Wow, shocker."

Silence. The girl watched the world from his view, literally. Them, behind glass. Protected. Sheltered. But knowing of the goings on outside of their capsule. They had experienced it. Kyoya twisted in his seat and turned to face her, his gaze steady.

Yuuki smiled. "Why so serious?"

"Showing you Batman was a bad idea."

"It was not."

"It was."

"How?"

"You're making comedy of a serious matter."

"And you're making serious of something that's not."

He sighed. "Do I look like a Joker to you?"

Yuuki picked up on his pun. Kyoya trying to prove he could be light natured without actually saying so. "That was a terrible joke."

"Better than yours most days."

"At least I'm amusing."

"You don't try to be."

The girl glared, except she was trying not to smile. In the end, she turned to face the front and crossed her arms stubbornly.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You want to get off now?" They were outside Trafalgar square.

Yuuki looked out the window and her eyes lit up for reasons the Ootori didn't know. "Yes."

She pulled him off the bus and to a stall on the side of the square. There she paid for a cup of birdseed and put her hand firmly over the top. The whole area was full of tourists and pigeons.

"You're not that hungry I hope." Kyoya put a hand on his hip and leaned on one leg, watching her.

"Haha." Pause. "You've never been inducted into Trafalgar square?"

"No."

Yuuki smiled, pulled the hand away from his hip and poured some of the seed into it before putting her own hand over the cup firmly. The Ootori's face was blank. And then shocked as pigeons attacked him. Even the ones that couldn't get to the seed just used the man as a perch while they wanted for an opening. Wings flapped everywhere. Birds climbed on top of each other trying to get to the seed.

Kyoya stood for a moment, not knowing what to do. Then pigeon pecked at his arm instead of his hand. Instinct took over and he almost threw the birds off him. Dropping the seed, Kyoya took a few steps back and tried to look slightly together.

Yuuki was standing with her hand still firmly on the cup, smiling mischievously. Ever since her first Trafalgar Square experience, she had wanted to share it with someone special. The first time, she had been six and her mother had done the same thing to her.

"That wasn't funny." Kyoya was obviously trying to recover.

"Oh, like you didn't see it coming." She scoffed. "The seed, the man selling seed, the others with little paper cups, all getting mugged by pigeons."

"At least they didn't go to a planned mobbing." He brushed himself off.

"It was not planned."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

Yuuki tried to stop smiling, but failed. "Okay, it was planned, but only when you said we should get off."

"I didn't say we should get off, I asked if you wanted to."

The girl tried to work out how he only got away from the event with just dishevelled hair and not a drop of white sludge down his shoulder like she had had a couple times before. "Well...whatever. You lined it up."

"I taught you well." Kyoya put his hand back on his hip and cautiously watched the masses of birds as they perched nearby. He smiled slightly.

She made a sweeping bow. "You are now, officially, British."

"No I'm not."

Yuuki stood up and put her hands on her hips, scowling playfully. "Yes, yes you are."

"I wasn't born here, and I don't have the passport."

"Irrelevant." She waved a finger at him. "You were inducted at Trafalgar Square, by someone of immense importance."

The man glanced around. "Who?"

Yuuki shoved him lightly in response. Or, what came across as lightly. She knew he had a subtle sense of humour, but he also had a quick mind that was often closed. Thus, whenever they had a playful bicker, he always won. Kyoya caught her wrist and she pushed him and pulled her close. The cup of seed in her other hand fell as a result.

The girl heard the clatter of paper cup on cobble stones an squeezed her eyes closed and pressed against him as the flurry of feathers surrounded them, dreading the wrath of London's aviation populace. She covered her face with her hands and felt Kyoya wrap both arms around her. All that they could hear was the thin whistling and battering of wings and the cooing of pigeons. The unsteady air was filled with a bird and seed smell. After two minutes it was all over. Yuuki peeked out from her hand and saw that the ground directly around them was empty.

She relaxed. "I hate pigeons. All the diseases they carry."

"Oh, so, its okay that I contract Bird Fl, it's funny. When it happens to you, you seek human shields." Kyoya didn't sound pleased this time. Not at all.

The Cunxin looked up; the shoulder she hadn't been cowering against had a line of white down it. She laughed. "Okay, its official now. Admit it." He was inducted.

The Ootori stood stony silent and glared down at her. He didn't let go.

"Okay...I'm sorry." Yuuki tried to back away but couldn't. She also couldn't stop smiling. As much as she hated being attacked by birds, seeing Kyoya get attacked was worth it. He handled it so well. Until they both got attacked and their little world got its first invasion.

He didn't let go.

Yuuki cringed and leant away from him as far as she could. "I said sorry."

"Are you sorry?"  
Pause. Thoughtful silence. Coy smile. "No."

Even when he was mad at her, Kyoya craved Yuuki's company more than he should. Even when they were in each other's company, they craved it. The Ootori raised an eyebrow at her but didn't let go.

Yuuki tried to get away. "I'm not a bird. Let me go."

Kyoya smiled smugly. "Why should I? This is profitable."

"How?"

"If I can't announce our engagement with words, then I'll do it in other ways."

The girl scowled. The ring plan had been put on hold. When they went into Tiffany's, Yuuki had seemed nervous of the section she was supposed to be in and ended up buying a bracelet for her friend, Suki, and leaving Kyoya's savings intact.

"How is it profitable?"  
"Because, being human gets advertising. Since that night at the ball, our merit as a family has sky rocketed. I'm the only son not courting with a high-toned and fancy to do heiress. I'm dating the normal girl from next door who made her dreams come true."

Yuuki glared at him. "Oh, thanks very much."

"I didn't say that was what I thought."

"You don't often say what you think."

Kyoya answered her with silence.

"_Normal_ isn't really a compliment. Enchanting, captivating, beautiful, lovely, precious...now those are words I could get into." And yet, she was just...Yuuki.

"You're hardly normal. You just tried to kill me with an overpopulation of birds. You are an Olympian. You have a very unique intellect." Odd way of putting it, but it was true. "You have absolutely no sense of humour to yourself, but you make people laugh anyway..."

"Okay. Thank you Mr I-can-calculate-and-analyse-things-to-a-tee." Yuuki wished she could do the same for him.

"But I can't." Kyoya seemed a little take aback. "I can't do that."

"Yeah, right."

"I can't do that with you." His frankness never ceased to amaze Yuuki. From a cold demeanour came something warm and unexpected. The good looking Frankenstein with a fetish for calculators.

The girl stopped trying to get away and stopped squirming. "Really?"

"Really."

"I thought you had googled me and knew every intimate detail."

"I did. But the internet was wrong. Your nothing like it says."

Silence. "What am I then?"

Kyoya brought his mouth down beside her ear. "Enchanting, captivating, beautiful, lovely, precious...just Yuuki." Just Yuuki. Just normal Yuuki. Unique to everyone but herself. The only person he could ever say the sorts of things he said around her to. She was his little box of secrets.

The girl stood and let him hold her. He was her enchantment and she knew that, even though enchantment got sickening, annoying and generic; she would never get sick of it. Yuuki could never get sick of him. Never work him out entirely. He was too subjective. Calculating and menacing one minute and warm and affectionate the next. Needless to say, the former minutes last longer than the latter, but the latter last longer when he's with just her. His masquerade of Ootori comes down and he just is.

The girl turned her head to his and kissed the corner of his mouth. Thanking him. Blessing him. Kyoya turned his lips to hers in response and pulled her closer.

Quiet suddenly there was a high-pitched, over excited noise and a third party clinging to the couple. Yuuki was surprised and a little embarrassed where Kyoya just looked pissed. Hunny was a magnet in any situation. The sniffer-dog of the world.

"Kyo-chan! Yuu-chan! Isn't Trafalgar great! With the Big Lions to climb on and the museum over the road and the birds everywhere and that fountain in the middle and they really should have a cafe in here with cake. Oh, and the ..."

Mori tucked his hands under the little blonde's armpits and lifted him off his holding. "Wrong moment."

Yuuki went scarlet and stepped away from Kyoya. If Mori knew it was the wrong moment, then he had been watching. She wondered who else had been. Self conscious, she tucked her hair behind her ear. "What are you doing here? Weren't you going with Hikaru and Kaoru to Harrods?"

Deedle De and Deedle Dum appeared as if on command. "Harrods is boring." Pause. Impish smiles. "You two didn't look bored though."

The girl's cheeks flashed again, as did Kyoya's eyes. His voice though, was smooth, controlled. Normal. "Well, most of the time people pay to watch that sort of thing."

Hikaru and Kaoru froze, knowing he would follow that through. Then everything melted. Their roguish nature reappeared. "Well, whatever. It was worth it."

Yuuki took a threatening step towards them only to have her arm caught by Kyoya, holding her back. "Where are Tamaki and Haruhi?" She asked instead of trying to erase their memories.

"They both decided to stay at the house." Mori said flatly, knowing the twins would make the statement a little suspect. "Haruhi had a headache."

Before anyone could say anything else, a man dressed in a police uniform appeared. "Sorry folks, we're clearing the Square."

Hikaru seemed disappointed. "Why?"

"Safety precaution."

Kyoya pressed his glasses up. "Has something happened?"  
"Sorry sir." The policeman said politely, motioning to the street. "I'm not allowed to say anything else."

The Ootori nodded and walked in the direction the man indicated along with the rest of the host club. Yuuki was slightly in front of him. "What was that all about?"

"I have no idea." He glanced around, trying to work out what had happened. There were numerous people besides them leaving the Square, all headed to the busses, the museum, the cafe's across the road. "Let's just go home." There was a feeling he couldn't ignore. Something was terribly wrong.

Terrible things always happened suddenly. The girl turned and walked backwards, knowing the ground was smooth until the bus stop. "Nah. Let's do something else."

Kyoya rested his finger on the nose of his glasses. "I think we should go home."

"Why?" Her face was confused, but compassionate. He was tense and she knew he didn't know why. All his walls had gone up.

"Something's going to happen."

"Alright. Let's get a cab then." Yuuki saw Kyoya was in no mood to argue.

There was a single black cab waiting about fifty meters from the bus stop. As the group reached it another man cut in front of them and sat down. The twins were not pleased. "Excuse me, sir, we were about to take the cab."

The man turned around. "There are too many of you. This has four seats available, there are six of you." He paused, the group was obviously connected, the way they held themselves was very proper. "If you really want it though, you were here first." He smiled.

Yuuki put a hand on Kyoya's arm. "Let's get the bus to the station, we can catch a cab from there, there's always a lot at the station."

The Ootori felt reluctant. He couldn't explain it and was frustrated with the fact. Throwing his tension off, Kyoya nodded silently. "We'll see you guys at the house."

The Cunxin turned to the man. "Thank you sir."

He bowed, flashed a set of teeth and walked across the road and down the street, instantly getting lost in the crowd. Yuuki frowned. Something was not right there. He had moved just a bit too fast and had been prepared to push in front of a group of guys to get a cab before them. He had wanted to get away. Suddenly the girl felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. She calmly said goodbye to those in the cab and watched them go.

-

The cab driver glanced over his shoulder at the passengers. "Lucky you got this one, hey?"  
"Yeah." The twins answered. "That jerk tried to push in front of us."  
"Well...you picked the safest method of transport."

"Its the safest?"

"Much safer than the busses. Much safer."

-

_I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure._

_I thought danger was not a cause_

_I thought you were all there was in the world_

_I thought we had it all_

_My guardian angel, my life-filled lover_

_Please don't ever leave me. Let's keep this world of ours and ignore the rest._

_Now, I'm sure about you, but I'm just not sure about it all_

_-_

Big Ben tolled midday. The pigeons took off in a flurry. Yuuki looked up, searching for the noise. Kyoya stiffened just behind her. Big Ben sang. On the last tole, her song rent the sky.

The bus waiting at the stop exploded.

Yuuki felt the heat from where she was standing and then felt that she wasn't standing but laying against the side of a car, its wheel still and cold against her back. There was a loud thunk on the hood of the vehicle and the girl covered her head as pieces of road hurled themselves through the sky.

Sometimes, travesty is sudden. Most often, terror is.

Yuuki's head spun. Her ears rang. Her vision was blurred. All she could make sense of was the constant lub-dub of hear heartbeat. Steady within her, not having registered what had happened. Then, as suddenly as it started, she could hear everything again. See it. Smell it. Everything smelt like burning fuel, burning clothes, powder. Everything sounded like screaming, cars wailing, people crying out for help and yelling in horror. Even those standing away from the explosion, as she had been, had been injured by the pieces of molten metal that had whizzed through the air.

The girl brought her hands down and looked around. She had been thrown back into a car that had pulled up at a stop sign, a few meters away from the curb that the cab had stopped on. The door flew open and a middle aged man threw himself onto the pavement. He went straight around the side of the car to where he knew the girl was and knelt by her.

"Miss? Miss? Are you alright?"

First come, first served. Yuuki swallowed in shock. "Yeah. I'm fine." She sat up, sudden desperation clinging to her throat. "I'm fine." She put a hand on the top of the wheel and lifted herself up, transferring her grip to the bonnet as she found her feet. "Thank you, sir. What...wh..." Kyoya.

"The terror threats that have been in the news, I heard about safety precautions, but Jehosephat...for it to come to this..." The man shrank to the sidewalk and put his head in his hands and began to weep for the horror.

Yuuki was looking around. Searching. Kyoya.

_I can't live in a world where you don't exist._

The girl stumbled away from the forlorn driver and turned around, trying to find the familiar face. A familiar face stands out against anything, and she couldn't find it. Kyoya. Yuuki raised a hand to her mouth and tried not to cry out. She couldn't lose him again. Not again.

"Kyoya?" The girl spun in a circle, frantically searching for him. What she saw caused her fear. There was a skeleton of a bus, smoking fifty meters away. Parts of its body lay scattered around. The lions guarding the square seemed ashamed and the fountain dripped water on a stark reflection of life's realities. Everywhere people were running, running away. Laying on the ground. Scrambling. Fighting. Screaming. The sights, the smells, the noises; Yuuki prayed Kyoya wasn't part of that picture. "Kyoya?" Her voice was desperate.

_A girl in a feathered dress stood at the window of a hospital suit. The heartbeat inside was assured by constant beeping. When it flat-lined, so did hers. She gripped the glass, tore at it, trying to reach him. To give him her heart back. _

"_Clear." _

_He didn't take it. _

"_Clear."_

_He held her as the birds fluttered around them. He held her in the snow. He held her. But she couldn't hold him. She couldn't get to him. _

"_Clear."_

_He didn't come to her. He didn't come to find her. _

"_Clear."_

This time he did. Yuuki felt a hand spin her back around and then heard a gasp of relief before being pulled into a familiar frame. She gripped his shirt and pressed her face into Kyoya's chest before beginning to shake. The shock wearing off.

"Don't do that." She accused him. "Don't do that. Don't leave me." She was trembling.

Kyoya ran a hand over her hair. "Shh..." He had lost her. He had lost himself in doing so. He had never experienced such desperation. Such need to find something. "Shh...I'm here." She was here. "Its alright."

All around them people were screaming, sirens were blaring, a bus was burning. There was a smell that Yuuki didn't recognise. The reality hit her. It wasn't just objects that were burning. Lives were too. She pulled away from Kyoya suddenly and stared at him, her eyes distressed. She ran her hands down his sides, down his chest, down his arms, praying he was whole and alright. "Your okay? Please tell me your okay." She looked at his face, his glasses had survived. If they had survived, he would too.

The Ootori captured her hands and held them in front of him. "I'm fine. I ended up in the street."

Yuuki glanced over his shoulder; behind the car she had hit was another, in the opposite lane. It hadn't stopped on the line as it should have, but meters before, as if it had braked to avoid something.

"Kyo..."

He dropped her hands and pulled her into him again. Fighting the world to try bring their own back. He thought he had lost her. For a few minutes, she hadn't existed, and he hadn't wanted to. He wanted to say so many things, but couldn't. It was as if his throat had been stitched shut. The world yelled at him.

After a minute, Kyoya pulled Yuuki away again and stared her in the face. "Help me."

She stared back. She didn't ask why. "How?" She knew what he was getting at. He could help. And he would, without profit, he was human.

The man grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the mass of writing metal and crouched near the closest broken body. It was a woman dressed in what had been a cream dress, she was bleeding from her leg, profusely, her body already pale. Yuuki hated blood. Kyoya did something unprecedented. He put his hand firmly over the wound and pushed down hard. The woman cried out. The Cunxin quickly stopped standing around and went to her knees at the woman's head. Yuuki and Kyoya had been lucky. They weren't hurt. This woman was. Like many others.

"He's a doctor." The girl said. It was half true. He was studying medicine. She didn't say he was a businessman though. "He's a doctor."

The woman gripped Yuuki's hand. Kyoya was looking around for something. The girl knew enough first aid to know what. He needed something to replace his hand. Yuuki looked down at her chest and wrapped her spare hand around the necklace before tugging it off and handing it over. They were both running on adrenaline. Nothing made sense, and no one wanted it to. Kyoya looked at the offering and then at the one holding it out.

"Take it." She said firmly. It was just a symbol, it wasn't them. "You can buy me that ring as soon as this is over. Just take it."

Kyoya snatched the necklace away and linked it above the woman's cut. It was tight. Too tight probably. It slowed the flow of blood. The paramedics had arrived. The Ootori motioned his head at one of them and Yuuki peeled her hand away from the woman's and ran to the man indicated.

"Sir. Sir." She gripped his sleeve. "Sir, the woman over there has cut an artery in her leg. Please, we did what we could for her." The girl turned around to indicated the woman and saw Kyoya had moved on to another patient. A man about his age.

The paramedic nodded once and jogged over to where the woman lay. He looked at the necklace and knew he would find reason to smile now, even though the horror. The man glanced over his shoulder to where the girl was joining the man she had talked about, she was pale, the sort of pale you see before they faint at the sight of something they fear. But she was holding it together. For him.

Yuuki knelt at Kyoya's side and saw he wasn't doing anything. "What?"

He hung his head. The severity of the situation hitting. Sighing he wiped his hand on his shirt, cleaning it before running his fingers over the boys lids, closing his eyes that would forever be stuck staring at the dark. Yuuki stared. She didn't know what to fee. Everything had gone numb. Everything except the need to be by Kyoya. The Ootori looked at her and then stood, not knowing how to deal himself and feeling useless not being able to help her. She was the one he needed to help and he didn't know how.

-

_And we're all to blame,  
We've gone too far,  
From pride to shame,  
We're trying so hard,  
We're dying in vain,  
We're hopelessly blissful and blind  
To all we are,  
We want it all.  
Everyone wants it all with no sacrifice_

_And now we're all to blame,  
We've gone too far,  
From pride to shame,  
We're hopelessly blissful and blind  
When all we need  
Is something true  
To believe,  
Don't we all?  
Everyone, everyone,  
We will fall._

_(All to Blame, Sum 41)_

-

"Kyoya." Yuuki had stopped. "I can't do this." She was staring at the man they had just been with. They had been the same. He and the son now gone. Someone had lost something. A son. A lover. A life. The blood. The smells. The sights. The shock. Everything was too sudden. To unexpected. "I'm sorry, I..." She raised her hand to her neck as a habit but couldn't find the necklace.

Kyoya stood in front of her and hovered above her. "Yuuki. Get a grip."

Her head shot up at him.

"Seriously. Get a grip. You can have an all-fall-down later, but right now you need to help me. Alright?"

Yuuki stared.

"Alright, I'm sorry." Kyoya sighed. "I didn't mean that. I'm...I'm coming apart too. It's scary. I know."

"The man...he was...you and him are..." The girl tried to point out the similarities.

The Ootori finally discovered why she was having a problem. "I'm right here. Look. I'm right here. With you. Okay?"

"Okay." Yuuki nodded, she didn't know if she meant it or not though.

"Yuuki..." Kyoya went to hold her. He needed her comfort. She needed his. But he saw his hands first, stained in blood. Their lives had always been abnormal, but sometimes he just wanted normality. To maybe just live life, get a job, retire. Just like every other person. But they couldn't. They had different parents, different lifestyles, different education. Life for Yuuki and Kyoya would always be abnormal. It would always be strange. "I...just..."

The paramedics had arrived; they swarmed the area like bees in jumpsuits. The cops arrived, the firemen. Soon, personnel outnumbered civilians. Yuuki and Kyoya just stood, trying to stay together for a little bit longer. Smoke wove between them, and that was scary; seeing the other through a mist of destruction, not knowing it everything was alright.

A man with a first aid kit jogged up to the pair. "Hello folks. I'm here to help."

Yuuki turned her gaze to the paramedic.

He watched them. "Are you hurt?"  
Her voice was still, silent, smooth. Wrought through a numbness that had taken over. "No."

"And you, sir?"

"No. I'm alright." Pause. "I can help."

"Are you a doctor, sir?"

"No." Came the flat reply. "I'm Kyoya Ootori." He wasn't a doctor, that's not why he was studying medicine. Other people studied medicine to be doctors. An Ootori did it so that he could rule over doctors.

"As in the sponsor?"

"Yes."

The paramedic's eyes suddenly filled with relief. "Do whatever you can."

"Yes."

"Sir." The man held out a towel.

Kyoya took it and nodded his thanks and began to clean his hands. Yuuki dug in her pocket for her mobile. He would need it. He wanted to help and didn't know why. But he defiantly knew how to in the best way possible. The iPhone betrayed her. The screen had cracked and it didn't respond. In frustration, Yuuki threw it to the ground.

The Ootori threw the soiled towel on top of it and reached into his pocket. His mobile was working.

"Hello. Father." His tone was hard. Menacing. Stressed. "I know it's the middle of the night there. Okay. Yes. Stop talking. No, I don't mean to disrespect you but you have to put every single doctor that is not a necessity on a plane, right now. Right now. I don't care. Father, I don't care. Why? Turn on your TV and it will tell you why. A bomb has gone off. No it was not expected. How is something like this expected? No. No. Just send them." Pause. "Oh, and yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking." Click.

Yuuki could only look at him. Looking at everything else hurt too much. "That was really cool of you."

Kyoya glanced up at her. He knew she was referring to his type, trying to help him. He responded by opening his arms. That would be more effective in making him feel better. The Ootori felt his heart rate begin to slow as the pressed into him. He began to relax. No matter how sudden or horrifying an act, Yuuki could always make it better. She could always heal him. The girl pressed her face into the curve of Kyoya's neck and began to cry. It was just too much. It was just too sudden. To unexpected. No one wants their world rent in two. No one wants to think they've lost a loved one, or to actually lose them. No one wants to see the person they love struggling in a situation that everyone else had already begun to drown inside of. But everyone wants to see that they are the cause of the others buoyancy. Yuuki wanted to be Kyoya's life ring. He had fixed her devastation, and now she could fix his. They could fix each other. He had her heart to work on and he had his, there was no barrier. Kyoya held Yuuki firmly against him. He tried to build their world back up. He wanted to put their walls up around the both of them and protect her. The man breathed her in. He cradled her. He could feel her trembling against him. He was breaking down to, but in his own, silent way. In front of her. With her. So that the other knew the process and could undo it.

"Why us?" She said against his skin. "Why when things were going so perfectly."

Kyoya paused. "Nothing's perfect without flaws."

"This isn't a flaw. This is a terror."

There was a long silence. "Let's go home."

Yuuki pulled her face away and looked at him. "Where?"

"Anywhere but here." Home is where the heart is, and neither resided in the destruction.

"How do we get out?"  
"We walk."

The girl loosed her grip. He was right. They had to get away.

"Oh, Yuuki." Kyoya said. His voice had only changed to display anger and stress. "I'll buy you another necklace."

She gripped his hand. "It's alright. It signified something that we had, but I don't need a reminder anymore."

Pause. "We're, okay, right?"

"In the midst of this, you're asking if we're okay?"

Pause. "Yes."

"If you can still give me hope when surrounded by this, then yes. We're okay. We will be okay. Eventually."

Kyoya wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him before beginning the walk across the square. It was the longest walk of their lives. Everywhere people were working. The yelling had died down and the only noise came from sirens and the urgent chatter of emergency crews. They had survived. Physically and emotionally. They had survived, but would come out with scars. It hadn't even hit yet, the extent of the event. The sky opened and it began to rain. Already washing things anew. Already trying to ease the pain. In a world of so much hurt, the balms had become easier and more readily available to use. Yuuki and Kyoya didn't notice. They were too bent on getting away. Getting away from a world other than reality. A world other than their own that lay amongst the broken bodies. They just wanted a world where the other existed. Perfect with their flaws. Compatible.

They were both scared, both in shock. Nothing registered. Yet. He had wanted to help, but staying seemed to only cause more hurt. The emergency crews had acted fast enough. The hospital would have a busy night. And yet...it felt like there should be more. There should be more...terror. There should be more emotion. But there was. It had all been there, all of it. Only, the pair had been so tightly wrapped in their own world that the only time when things had been at their worst was when they couldn't find each other. And that should have felt wrong, but it didn't. The attack had not been major, it had not killed thousands, it had been a warning. A warning in their district anyway. How many more had gone off, no one knew yet.

Once, the girl glanced over her shoulder. It hurt her to look at it. She had been a part of that. Of that horror. Of a terrorist attack. She had been there and somehow miraculously come out unscathed physically. Kyoya stared back with her and clutched her frame tighter to his own

-

_Look at us here today  
Lots of talking with nothing to say  
And if I seem somewhat afraid  
I'm surviving, that's all I am  
I'm surviving to be a better man  
I'm surviving, that's my plan  
Just surviving_

Yesterday, I was sure  
But today I don't know anymore  
Thought I was brave till I saw  
My frightened reflection in a dark corridor  
Now I'm surviving to be a better man  
I'm surviving with an emotional plan  
I'm surviving, so please understand  
I'm surviving, surviving

There are millions of people out there  
Trying to get by in a world that don't care  
People smiling through clouds of despair  
Protecting the wounds until they repair  
They're surviving the best way they can  
They are surviving every woman and man  
Just surviving with an emotion plan  
So keep surviving

Maybe it's my shattered pride  
That's why I get scared of emotional ties  
Don't let them in, otherwise  
You'll smile like a fool  
But you'll be hurting inside  
So I'm surviving through the insecurity  
I am surviving, I got hope inside of me  
So I'm smiling through all the insanity  
I'm surviving, surviving

I was moved by the way that you said  
Don't be afraid, I won't leave you for dead  
You took my soul and mixed up my head  
You left me alive  
You should have killed me instead  
Now I'm surviving, that's all I am  
I'm surviving to be a better man  
I'm surviving, that's my plan  
I'm surviving, surviving  
Surviving

_(Surviving, The Kinks)_

_-_

It took two hours to reach the apartment. It had rained harder. On the way, the pair found out that the stadium had been attacked and other busses had exploded. It was surreal. This sort of thing didn't happen. Not unless it was a world away or on TV. Kyoya didn't let Yuuki go the whole way. She wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to disappear into him. To see the world through him. He was so level headed, he seemed so brave. She knew he was afraid inside, everyone was, but he could hold himself together even when he was falling apart. However, Yuuki did not know that she was the one keeping him intact.

The empty flat seemed welcoming. It was them. Waiting for them. The couple went to the kitchen and Yuuki sat on the counter and made tea in silence, sweet tea, for the shock. Kyoya hated it. The sugar did not agree with his tastes and Yuuki found herself smiling at him.

"You don't have to drink it." She said, putting her own down.

The man pushed his glasses up and looked at her. "I'm just trying to understand..."

"There is nothing to understand. The world is messed up and it decided to air its opinion."

"Are you alright?"

The girl drummed her legs on the cupboards. "No. I'm scared."

"Yeah. Me too."

Yuuki looked at him as he admitted that. "Really?"  
"Yes."

"Why? You seemed so unfazed."

"No one was unfazed. No one will be. But, I think what shocked me most was not that a bomb had gone off, but rather that, I thought I'd lost you. Again."

Yuuki stopped drumming her feet and stared at her knees. "I know what you mean." Pause. "It was horrible though." She couldn't get the screaming out of her head. The images of the dead man. "It is horrible."

Kyoya stared at her. The phone rang. The girl started. Sudden noises would not sit well for the next few months.

"Hello?" The man picked up. "Yes, its Kyoya. Yes, Yuuki is here. Tamaki, slow down. Everyone's home?" Pause. Yuuki relaxed as he said yes. "Okay. Okay. Come fetch us, we'll stay with you until we can get a plane out, okay. Okay. Yes. We're fine. We're alright. I'll tell you later." He hung up on the blonde. "Call Tachi, get your horse on a plane."

Yuuki picked up the phone. "I don't think any planes will be going out." She dialled. Someone picked up on the fifth ring. "Hello? Tachi?"

"_Yuuki? Yuuki. Oh my gosh, your alright?"_

"I'm fine. Are you?"  
_"Yes. Yes. I was at the stables and someone rushed in to tell me."_

"I need Zero on the next plane out, with you."

"_My thoughts exactly." _Pause. _"I have a pilot friend."_

"Good. Talk to him. He'll be taking a Host Club as well as equine cargo. Come to the Hitachiin Mansion tonight. We'll all be there."

"_Alright."_

"Tachi?"  
_"Yes?"_

"Get there."

"_Don't worry kid, I will."_

Click.

Yuuki stared back at Kyoya. She slid off the counter and leaned against him. "How did such a good day end so horribly?"  
The man ran his hands through her hair. "How did a good world end so horribly?"

"Yeah." Yuuki gripped his shirt. "I'm sorry that it all happened."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I don't know what else to be."

"Be you." He pulled her right up against himself. "Don't change."

"Don't you change either."

"Alright."

Deep down inside, both of them knew they had changed. Dramatically. But that they were still the same to the other. The same. Experiences alter lives, their lives had been altered and wouldn't be the same again. But they had been there for each other and would continue to be.

-

_Sometimes it take a storm  
To really know the light  
The scent of rain, the weight of clouds  
Pulling down the sky  
Sometimes it takes a storm  
To know how you feel  
To understand indigo  
And the varnished sun  
Lighting up the fields_

It takes the rain between the lines  
To know what sorrow finds  
The way a cloud divides sometimes  
The clearing and the blue

I love you

I was just passing through  
And taken by surprise  
Between the black sky and the blue  
Between the black sky and the blue  
I love you  
I love you

_(Storm, Fernando Ortega)_

_-_

A few hours later, at the Hitachiin mansion, Tamaki was causing an uproar. Pacing around the living room like a maniac, he ranted about the injustice of the world. The twins sat on the couch and watched the news report. A driver had been sent for Kyoya, Yuuki and Tachi an hour ago and the Suoh was agitated to the point of lividly enacting his monologue.

"If you break something..." Hikaru. "You will pay for it." Kaoru.

Tamaki stopped waving his arms and continued his frantic chant. Haruhi continuously tried to calm him down, to no avail.

"WHERE IS THE DRIVER!? If he was one of the bombers...I'll...Why did this have to happen when WE were in London. Or at all? All those families! Mothers, Fathers, Sons, Daughters, Husbands, Wives...."

A small noise carried down from the foyer. A minute later, those lost in question appeared in the doorway. Tamaki's eyes almost exploded, he threw himself at his friends, one arm around Kyoya, the other around Yuuki. Exclaiming. "Oh! You're alright! You're walking! You're breathing! You're alive! You're alright, right? Oh, do tell me you're alright?"

"Dad, shut up." Kyoya growled, expressing his annoyance and happiness at the blonde all at once. They were going to be alright.

Tachi took control. "Alright folks. We have a plane out tomorrow at three."

"In the afternoon?" Hunny was sitting on Mori's lap.

"In the morning. No planes are going out or coming in. We have to use a private runway. Fortunately this house is only an hour from there so...everyone is up at one, there at two, loaded and off by three. Savvy?"

Yuuki was the only one not mortified at the time they were leaving. Protest arose that were quickly quelled by Kyoya. "Consider yourselves lucky we even have a way out. If you had been there, you would not want to be here anymore."

Silence descended. The Ootori always spoke in a dignified manner, but this time it only enhanced the severity of the situation. Like the policeman earlier the day, telling them to leave. He hadn't said why, but everyone knew it was sever.

It was currently five in the afternoon, seven hours. No one moved from the lounge, it became the waiting room. The waiting room of the fight or flight simulation in everyone. They had to fight the time in order to fly. Everyone knew they had to get out or be tangled in a web of politics, law and basic dissention of the ranks. Of course they all were shaken by what had happened, relieved that none of them had been seriously hurt, but every single member of the Host Club couldn't comprehend such an act; they had been raised in a society where that sort of thing didn't happen. Their closed worlds had all opened and let in a draft of stale air. No one liked it. Everyone was trying to close the doors again, but everyone knew that a slight, stale background smell would remain.

-

That night, when everyone had retired to their rooms, Yuuki and Kyoya sat in the lounge. They waited in the darkness.

"Kyoya?"

"Yes?"  
"Are you alright?"  
"As can be expected." Pause. "You?"  
"I'm fine. Shaken. But...alive." The face of the dead man flashed through her mind. "We were so, so, so, so very lucky."

"Yeah."

Yuuki smiled. "You mean, 'yes' right?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Yeah, I do."

"Can I start saying 'yeah' again now?"

"No."

She breathed and leant against him. He was comfortable and a comfort. He helped her deal, sort through the mess that her mind had just become. "Can I ever cal you hubby?"  
Kyoya smiled, it felt like his face was cracking. It felt right, but it shouldn't have. He was still distressed. "No." Pause. "Did you ever want to?"

"No."

"Exactly."

They tried to ignore the dark emotion that dwelled somewhere in the background. They would leave it until they were a world away from the place that put it there. In a place they could recover. Hours later and it didn't register. There had been an attack. One that had caused Kyoya to have to get covered in blood and have Yuuki give her necklace away to stop the woman's life from continuing to seep into the cobbles. Neither of them wanted to talk about it. Not yet. They didn't want to think about that moment in time where the other hadn't existed, where the world had been rent in two by the acts of those who called it home. How nothing could be explained.

Kyoya wrapped his arm around Yuuki's ribcage and waited for her to say something. She didn't, she just brought her head to rest on his shoulder. Eighty percent of conversation is unspoken. The girl was trying to tell him she was alright, and assuring herself that he was; even though their world wasn't. Words wouldn't work. Words sometimes weren't enough.

The man pressed his lips to her hair. Even though she had showered at the village when she had collected her luggage, it still had the faint scent of smoke. The sort of smoke that lingers. He didn't mind though. What had happened was now a part of her and a part of him. However, Kyoya missed the original, sweet smell.

"You should go to bed." He said quietly. "You don't do well when you're tired."

Yuuki shook her head. "No." He did worse when he was tired.

"Why?"

The girl pressed her face into his shirt, hiding in her own way whilst still showing him where she was.

"Darling," Kyoya stroked her hair. "I'm right here. I didn't leave you. We're fine."

Yuuki's voice came out muffled against his shoulder. "But that man, he was like you. I know you didn't leave me, but I don't want to leave you." She sniffed.

"I don't want that either."

"I don't want to die Kyoya." Yuuki admitted. "I don't want to die. I realised that today. I don't want to leave you behind, or be left behind." When she said she didn't want to die, she meant them both.

The Ootori paused and contemplated this idea. "Do you think I love you?"  
"Yes."

"Do you think our love could take us away together?"

Yuuki lifted her head to look at him; there were little diamonds on her face. Like when he had seen her in the window. His angel. "I..."

"I think it can do anything we want it to."

The girl smiled in a melancholy manner. "Just...make sure it happens. Your good at making sure it happens."

"I will. But..." Kyoya traced the line of her cheekbone. "...you're going to have to help me. It's going to be really hard; we're going to have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. I worked my whole life to be the bottom line and then I pushed it further and got the top. But it's not enough. I got there and I had money, power, inheritance...but I didn't have you. And it scared me. You had existed, and you didn't. So don't think that you're the only one wanting to leave together. If a bomb couldn't tear us apart, then, what can?"

Yuuki returned her head to its original position and sighed. "You and me... every day."

"Every single day of forever."

There was a long silence. "Kyoya?"

"Yes?"

"Why did someone blow up a bus?"

"They had a point to prove." They finally got to the point where they had moved far enough from the events to discuss them properly.

"How is killing people making a point? All the people you were proving something to, die."

"Inevitably." Kyoya knew Yuuki didn't just mean in the blast.

"I mean..." She pulled her hand inside the sleeve of her shirt. "Why can't people just...live life without...fear."

"Because fear is an emotion. Life is emotion. You are life."

"And thus, I am part of what happened today."

"Yes. And me."

"But, I don't want to be."

"Just because you were a part, does not mean you were a bad part. You sacrificed something to save someone else."

Yuuki sniffed again, her tone came out light. "Yeah, and you woke your dad up in the middle of the night and yelled at him." There was a little laugh at the end of the sentence.

Kyoya rested the hand that was not around her on top of the girls head. He knew what it was like to stay up all night, contemplating the certain agony he knew would be his if he were to lose her twice. Which is why he let himself go around her. He opened the gates and let her in and then closed them, locking her inside so that she would know what was going on even when the world didn't. But in the quiet, in the dark, in the private moments, they would both meet in the middle of their two worlds and create their own. Each with respective keys to the secret place, keys no one else had. Keys that led to a place so...it was not wonderful. You could not call it that. Their world was impacted by reality. But it was a sanctuary, where one could come with the world and begin to understand it. By having the keys to each other, they had the keys to a different perspective and an alternate look on life.

"Go to sleep, Yuuki."

The girl exhaled softly. "No."

"Why?"

"I'm not ready to say goodbye." Thoughtful pause. "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Silence. Kyoya thought a moment about her statement. "If I tell you I love you, can I keep you forever?" No matter what tears into life. No matter what.

"That's silly. You already did that."

"Did I really hurt you...back then?" He wanted to ask if it was worse than today, but didn't know if that as right. He didn't have the answers around her, she had them.

"Yes."

"But, you survived."

"Just because a heart is broken, doesn't mean it stops beating."

Kyoya loved learning from her. There once was an Italian painted, Carlotti, who defined beauty by the summation of parts working together in such a way that nothing needed to be added or taken away or altered. It was beauty and it was life. That was them. Like clockwork, even when it had been broken. It could be repaired. They could be repaired again. There would be scratches, little nicks in the timeframe; but that's what made life beautiful. Flaws make perfection.

-

_When you love someone, and you love them with your heart, it never disappears when you're apart. And when you love someone, and you've done all you can do, you set them free. And if that love was true...When you love someone, it will all come back to you._

_(Forget Paris, 1995)_

_-_

-------------------------

-

_You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along_

_(Eleanor Roosevelt) _

_-_

----------

_Funny ol' world, ain't it? _

_I don't like writing about things I don't know. Hence, the bus. I do know a person who was across the street when a bus exploded. They were fine, they are fine now. So...just letting you know I didn't put that in for dramatic effect, I put it in for experience. This story is about two people in the world and, terrorism is, sadly, a part of this world. But so are we. _

_Anyway. _

_Reviews much appreciated, I would really like to know your honest opinion of this chapter and any constructive criticism you may have. You are all very valuable, thank you._

_Just reminding everyone that I'm going away from Tuesday till Friday. I'll post as much as I can before then. Sorry this post was late; I haven't had a chance to put it up until now. It is the longest so far though._

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	19. Chapter 17

-

**Chapter 17**

**-**

One week after the bombings, life was not getting back to normal. The Olympic committee met; there would be no closing ceremony for the first time in history. It was too dangerous. All in all, five bombs had gone off, four of them busses, one of them in the athletics stadium. Hundreds died that day. The Host Club watched on the news as the story unfolded. The story they had been a part of. The cab driver had known. The man walking away had known. How many others had an idea of what was about to happen? Surely someone had a warning. Kyoya and Yuuki stared at the television in a detached sort of manner. They had been on the corners of the thick of it. On the edges of what had occurred. If they had been closer in, deeper in; they may not have made it out. If they had all got on that bus, they never would have.

Zero was put in the paddock at the Ootori Estate. The girl stayed with Suki who lived a suburb away. The woman had not been able to make it to London because she was now in her third trimester and about to explode herself.

"Gosh, I know what that bus felt like..." She would say. Yuuki would nod and know that, no, she didn't. The bus hadn't waited seven months to grow and explode. It had just done the latter almost spontaneously. Jokes about terror just weren't funny anymore. Not when you had felt it yourself.

Because her horse was at Kyoya's, Yuuki went over every morning and did fitness work with him. Just keeping Zero and herself in shape. By the time she was done, the Ootori household was still asleep and she would leave the horse in his day paddock and slip away. Zero seemed rather pleased with his new life of speed and then relaxation. He loved seeing Yuuki in the morning, spending the day on his own and then seeing her in the evening when she came to put him away.

"You taking a break from training?" It was sunset and Yuuki was in the stable, not expecting Kyoya because he had been in meetings all day about the attacks.

"Yeah." Pause. "It seems...peculiar."

"In a positive or negative way"

"Let's go the positive but leave it open to interpretation." The girl took Zero's halter off and let him eagerly attack the feed. "Your day alright?"

The man sighed and pushed his glasses up. "My father refuses to send more aid over. It's already cost all our profits from the games and he sees no need to spend anything at a loss."

Yuuki slipped out of the stall. "And you?"

"I would send a whole hospital over. But, if I had not been there, I would have done the same thing my father is doing."

"I don't believe that." The girl walked outside. "I think you would have done less, yes, but more than is." She turned to him. "You're not what you worked to become, Kyoya. You've lived a life other than school, university, business and profits." She leant on the railing of the training yard and stared at the hills in the distance. "I mean, you know humanity as a human, not as a statistic."

The man paused and thought about that statement. "You should study psychology."

Yuuki glanced at him as he stood beside her. "Why?"  
"You'd be good at it."

"And then..." Her voice was amused, mocking almost. "...I could totally work for you and we could like...totally open our own medical business and like...have lots of money and make lots of people happy and it would all be great!"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "What's your problem with becoming something other than a rider?"

The girl turned. "Because, the Mary-Sue life seems very...strange. I wasn't raised with options like you were. I was brought up in a one toned environment."

"But you're not there anymore."

"You should be the psychologist."

The Ootori stared at her. "No, seriously. Yuuki, you can't just sit around and aim for the bottom line all the time." He would know. "We've talked about this before, you shouldn't be wasting your life on one talent that you don't even enjoy anymore."

"I enjoy riding."

"Yes, as a hobby. Not as an occupation."

Yuuki paused. "No, that's..."

"No, it is. It reminds you of things you don't want to be reminded of."

"But it helps me stay close to the things that don't exist anymore." She filled in silently.

Kyoya leant on the railing. "Would your mother have pushed you like your father did?"

"No, but..."

"Would she have done what I'm doing now, only throughout your whole life so far?"

"Probably, but..."

"No buts. Think about it." The man pushed off the railing and started to head back to the house.

Yuuki stared at him. After a few minutes, Kyoya felt a cool hand in his own. "Can we just, get through this phase before deciding anything?" She seemed shy. "I, um, I know what you're saying, like, I understand, but I need to process things. You know processing. You're good at processing. I need some more time."

He squeezed her hand. "I know. Don't forget though." Pause. Kyoya found her openness around him enjoyable, even if the topic wasn't. If they could discuss the hard things, then living them would be a little easier. "On a lighter note. I have something to show you."

"Where?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"Just...out." He smiled smugly.

Yuuki scowled. "I hate surprises."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do."

"No you don't."

"I hate the build up to surprises."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. Yuuki felt her insides flutter nervously. Waiting for the unknown. Over the next half hour she tried to get it out of him, to no avail. Not surprisingly, Kyoya could keep a secret and silently mask any hints behind his demeanour.

The girl sat on her feet on the end of the sofa and watched as the Ootori tapped away at his laptop. "Would Marvin tell me?"

"Marvin?" Kyoya's fingers didn't falter.

"You know Marvin. The other man in this relationship, and I'm not the one involved with him."

Kyoya paused at her odd humour. "That...was not the statement I would have used to describe my work."

"No, that's why I used it."

He didn't reply.

Yuuki fidgeted. "Can you please tell me?"

"No."

"I'm leaving then."

"Okay."

Her bluff faltered and the girl ended up not moving from her position. "Kyoya..."

"Don't whine."

She did it again.

"Yuuki."

"Tell me, please, please, please, please, please..." The girl put her face right next to his. "...please, please, please, please, pretty, pretty, pretty please, with wasabi and coffee and a cherry on top?"

"I don't like cherries." He promptly ignored her behaviour.

Yuuki crossed her arms and thought of another tactic. She pushed the 'sleep' button on the laptop. Kyoya faltered for a moment, the button she had pressed was the one besides the power button and he almost had a stroke. "Yuuki. I swear upon all that is good in this world that if you ask again I'll..."

"You'll what?" She shot back smugly.

"I'll...not take you at all."

The girl sat back on her feet. Somewhat subdued. She stopped pestering him.

"Good girl. Now. Let me work in silence." He woke Marvin back up.

This only lasted a minute. The nerves in Yuuki's stomach hadn't died down. "Ple..."

"No."

"Kyo.."

"Yuuki, seriously. Shut. Up."

"Don't tell me to shut up."

The man sighed and pinched his nose. "I love you, but right now your name is on the black list."

"Like _Death Note?"_

"You watch _Death Note_?"

"Maybe."

Kyoya laughed quietly. "Alright." He handed her a pocket book of his. "Pretend this is the Death Note and write down all the people you don't want at the wedding."

Yuuki took it. There was silence as she thought for a moment, trying to think of people. Death seemed like such a harsh thing to do to a wedding guest. She decided to change the task up a bit. "Hey, Kyoya?"

"Hmmm?" He was a little frustrated that his tactic hadn't worked to the extent he had hoped it would.

"How to you spell Stephanie?"

"S-T-E-P-H-A-N-I-E." The Ootori sorted through all the Stephanie's he knew and found he didn't know one at all. Yuuki was writing the name down nonetheless.

Short pause, her pen poised. "And, uh, on a _totally _unrelated basis...Meyer."

"M-E-Y-E-R." Silence. "Why do you want to know how to spell the author of _Twilight's _name?"

Yuuki paused and stared at him accusingly. "Stop judging me."

Kyoya decided to take the book back. "Alright. That failed. Go have a shower."

"Why?"

"To relax. Your bouncing off the wall."

"No I'm not."

"Metaphorically speaking."

"Whatever." The girl unpacked herself and headed to the spare bathroom, prepared to make as much mess as possible and blame her significant other for the to-be disaster zone.

Kyoya watched her disappear; knowing that life with her would be anything but boring. He was looking forward to it. It wouldn't always be annoying exciting, but it would always be Yuuki and himself. And that was anything but ordinary but the most natural thing on the planet.

-

An hour after Kyoya and Yuuki had an argument over how much shampoo she used and thus, caused copious amounts of foam to come from the drain, they were in the Ootori's new car. It was a sleek, 2012 Mercedes E-Class with a five star safety rating.

"I thought you were going to buy the Guardian?" Yuuki tapped the windows, they weren't bullet proof.

"I don't need a car that is really only used by men in Dubai with too many enemies."

"Yes. But. If you're in another accident and something happens..."

"I won't be in another accident."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm not letting you drive this car." He said smugly. "And if I don't let you drive this car, then you won't be able to wear the gear box down."

"How can you stop me from driving this car?"

Kyoya glanced at her. "It's a manual."

Stubborn silence. "That's not fair."

"It's my car."

"Not for long."

"Even when you marry me, you'll have your own bank account and life. We don't pool our resources."

"Why? My resources would be infinitely larger than they are now."

Kyoya laughed. "Because, its better financially if you stay the owner of your things and I stay the owner of mine. We'll have a joint bank account though. The house will be in your name because...I earn more money and if anything happens to the market they can't do as much to our finances if it's in your name and not mine."

"You have this all planned don't you?"

"Yes."Obviously. "It's not like we'll get a prenup for any other reason other than individual freedom."

"As in, you're not worried I'm going to clean you out?" Pause. "Damn, and that was the plan all along." She said mockingly. Divorce was not an option and never would be, they knew that. Not for them. That sort of conclusion seemed unrealistic to the world, but not to their world. If you live in the world you become of the world and the high separation rate applies, if you create your own whilst still living in reality- you apply your own statistics. Of course they would fight, violently at times, disagree, not like the other person for extended periods of time; but they had already survived so much together and found life in the other, that being a part would destroy their existence. They were whole in the other.

"My lawyers are better than yours."

"I don't have a lawyer."

"Exactly."

Yuuki twisted in her seat. There was a long silence. "Please?"

Kyoya pulled up at a stop sign and scowled at her. "For the last time, I'm not telling you. Stop asking."

"Please?"

"No."

She stared at him empathetically, trying to win his favour.

Kyoya frowned. "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

Silence.

"Please?"  
The man tightened his grip on the wheel. "Alright." He hissed. Annoyed.

"Really?"

Amused silence. "No." Two could play at that game.

Yuuki crossed her arms and sat properly. "Thi.."

"Yuuki."

"No bu..."

"Yuuki."

"K..."

"Stop talking." His words were stern but his tone was light.

"Stop being annoying."

"Stop being a child."  
"Stop...actually no, start driving, the light is green."

Kyoya smiled quietly and accelerated. She was the only person in the world able to distract him that much. Her annoying habits just made her Yuuki. However, he needed to learn not to tell her about surprises before they happened. She would just keep being a pest. That's what love is. A learning game.

-

_There's a strangest excitement today  
If you're awake then you're welcome to hear  
I've got a gift and it blew me a way  
From the far eastern sea straight to here  
Oh God I feel like I'm in for it now  
Its like the rush has gone straight to my brain  
But my voice is as lonely as loud  
As I whisper a joy of this pain_

And suddenly  
You've done it all  
You won me over  
In no time at all

And now I'll stop the storm if it rains  
I'll light a path far from here  
I'll make your fear melt away  
And the world we know disappear

If you ask I will do what you say  
All we have is this night to get through  
With the cheeks to the smile you're only  
You left me all up in arms and confused  
Oh God I feel like I'm in for it now  
And how this kiss will be one roughly vague  
I swear I'll melt if you touch me at all  
But then I'll ask you to do it again, and again

And suddenly  
You've done it all  
You won me over  
In no time at all

And now I'll stop the storm if it rains  
I'll light a path far from here  
I'll make your fear melt away  
And the world we know disappear  
I'll stop the storm if it rains  
I'll light a path far from here  
I'll make your fear melt away  
And the world we know disappear

I'll light a path far from here  
I'll make your fear melt away  
And the world we know disappear.  
Make the world we know disappear.  
Make the world we know disappear.

_(The Gift, Angels and Airwaves)_

-

The car pulled up in a small alleyway, just behind an upmarket end of town.

Yuuki waited for the engine to die. "This is where you murder me, right?"

"How did you know?" Kyoya rolled his eyes and got out of the car.

"So..." Yuuki stood beside a puddle in the dark. "Great surprise. I really love...cardboard..." She indicated the boxes nearby.

"Did you take an immaturity pill or something this morning?"

"I didn't have lunch." If she didn't eat, Yuuki became a slight mental case.

"Why?"

"It was seafood."

"Right, and you didn't make yourself something else because?"

"It was a seafood restaurant."

"What did you eat after then?"

"Pocky." Yes. Things made a lot of sense now. Sugar, empty stomach, lack of sleep, stress.

Kyoya sighed. "Right." He put a hand on the small of her back and guided her to a door. "Through there."

The girl looked at the handle and then at him and then at the handle again. Kyoya was watching her expectantly. Yuuki frowned and used her cardigan as a make-shift glove between her hand and the metal. Once inside, the door closed and all light was shut off. The girl blinked. "Is this the surprise?"

"You really shouldn't skip meals." Kyoya pressed her forward.

Yuuki put a sarcastic tone on. "Oh, but it's all the rage right now." It's not like she meant to.

"Yuuki?"

"Yes?"

"Stop talking."

"Sorry."

"That's alright. Keep walking."

She nodded. Kyoya felt her ponytail brush against his neck. It was damp from her shower. Yuuki was one of the few girls who would go out to something that could be publically embarrassing barefaced and damp. It was probably because she had been blessed with good skin and hair that she could tame with an elastic band. Nonetheless though.

Suddenly there was a light at the end of the corridor and a man wearing a suit waiting in it. He had a pleasant smile and grey hair.

Yuuki slowed her steps but Kyoya pushed her along. The girl turned to look at him in the light. His face had that I-know-something-you-don't-know look on it that meant he was about to do something devious. His deviation was always different to the normal, mischievous deviation. It was a quiet, looming sort. Like a really, really bad thriller with really good actors.

"Relax."

"Why?"

"Why do you always ask why?" Kyoya teased.

"Why do you never explain anything?"

"Because." He gripped her shoulders. "It's a surprise."

Yuuki turned around sharply and stared at him. She was obviously tired and still a little shaken from the previous weeks. "Kyoya..."

"You like surprises themselves." He turned her around again. "So, keep walking."

"Okay." She breathed.

The man at the door bowed slightly and smiled. "Welcome." He motioned into the room he was guarding.

Yuuki stared at him and then at the poorly lit room. She went blank for ideas. That was until the room flickered on. There were rows of glass cabinets, all watched over by attendants in uniform, full of diamonds and gold. The girl turned around to escape but was caught by a set of firm hands.

"No." Kyoya said. "Your comfort zone is much too comfortable. You'll remain stagnant until you do something about it."

"Kyoya..."

"Do you want to marry me?"  
"Yes, but..."

"No. If we're going to do this, then we're doing it."

"Do you want to do it?"

"Duh."

Yuuki smiled. "Can I correct that?"

"Don't ask, do."

She swallowed. "Are you sure? I mean...we can always do this another time."

"What are you afraid of?"

Yuuki stared up at his face. "Disappointing you."

"How?"

"I don't know. You're the powerful rich guy and I'm just me and..."

"It worked out. Like physics."

"But I'm a humanities student."

"Like Freud."

Pause. Yuuki locked her thumbnails together. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with him, it was just that she needed to know if he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

"Yuuki." Kyoya tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "I said forever."

"Yes, I know. But...so did my mom."

The man ran his fingers along her cheekbone. "Do you think that your to blame for that?"  
"Yes. And for leaving you that time."

"You're not." His tone was firm. "You're not Yuuki. I've told you countless times that your blameless, why won't you listen?"

She stared at her hands. "Selective hearing."

Kyoya smiled. "Alright. You know what's true deep down. I will love you forever and a day. Eternity. You know I'm a man of my word. So go diving and get a ring." He knew her better than anyone else. He wouldn't have brought her if he had known she wouldn't go through with it. He was there to make sure she got what was best for her. He would be there for her. Always. Even if she believed everyone else had walked out on her and she didn't deserve those that remained. Which wasn't the case, but that's how Yuuki saw it.

"Um." Yuuki turned around. It was an engagement ring shop, a very large, very expensive shop. "Just...one?" Her tone was hesitant.

"Just one."

"Which one?" There were ten attendants, all standing behind different counters; smiling at the couple.

"Whichever one you like."

Yuuki stood at the first counter and looked. All of them were the size of skating rinks. The next weren't much smaller, but they were less ostentatious. After the first five counters, the girl almost died. "Why did you pick such a big store?"

"So you could have a choice."

"Too much choice."

"You'll find the one you like. Eventually."

Yuuki wrapped her fingers around his. It felt odd to be engagement ring shopping. For her engagement ring. For her. Someone wanted her enough to stay for the rest of their lives. He wanted her enough to promise all eternity.

Finally, after an hour, they reached the last table. The girl peered through the glass at the rings on offer. One stood out above the rest. It was gold and had shattered diamonds like a miniature, delicate version of an Algerian Love Knot. The shattered diamonds circled tight near the middle where a smooth leader diamond sat. It was so fragile looking. Very beautiful. Yuuki pointed at it and the man woman behind the counter pulled it out.

"It's an eternity ring." She said, handing it over. "Read the inscription."

The girl looked inside the gold band and read the words inside. Yuuki stared at Kyoya, expecting him to have set the whole thing up. He just stared at her. "What does it say?"

"Forever and a day."

He pushed his glasses up. "Well, it's very fitting then."

"Did you set that up?"

"No."

"Okay." Yuuki tried it on for size. It fit perfectly. Magically. No rings ever fit her without resizing. Her fingers were neither too long or to short. She looked at Kyoya. "Can I have it?"  
He nodded. "If you wear it."

She smiled. Finally understanding what he already knew. Their lives were oddities. Lifestyles of the rich and the famous even though they were hardly the latter. Strange upbringing, different social climates; and yet, everything worked. Everything had led up to the point where it fit perfectly. Where it stood for always and not just the brief promises that they had both experienced. When you finally realise that you want to spend your life with someone and you know they want it too, you begin to understand that life does not end when you say '_I do'_ but it does begin again. When you finally, truly, wholly realise that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you can't wait for the rest of your life to begin. Yuuki now felt that she couldn't wait. She wanted to start something amazing now. Something that would last more than a million lifetimes that instant. She saw how well things just clicked. How it had all built up and would keep building up until the sky ran out of room. Then they would tackle the universe.

"One step at a time." Kyoya kissed the top of her head.

Yuuki closed her eyes. "You'll be there, right?"

"Every step." Pause. "I wouldn't miss it for anything." He had tried to miss some of it for his own gain, and he had lost it all. It was not worth it. They were worth more than that. The Ootori looked at the store owner and nodded once. "Do you need it sized?"

Yuuki shook her head. Embarrassed at the attention she was getting, every time she got a gift she felt the need to give one back. "I want to get you something."

Kyoya was paying. "Why?"  
"Because, you got me something."

"No, I gave you something, there's a difference. You don't have to give me something in return."

"But I want too."

The man sighed as they left, not wanting any more public scrutiny from gossiping shop assistants. He stopped in the corridor, just within the light and waited. "Why?"

"Because, you're worth it." Yuuki caught up and wrapped her arms around him from behind. "Because I want too." She pressed her face between his shoulder blades.

"Every time I get you something, doesn't mean you have to get me something." He twisted to face her and slid his hands behind her waist. "It's an engagement ring, meaning your mine. You belong to me, and I to you. Isn't that enough?"

"Why don't you want me to get you something?"  
"Because its guilt money."

"How?"

"You keep trying to owe me something when you don't. In truth, Yuuki, I owe you much more than I give."

She shook her head. "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"How?"  
"Well..." He was good at playing doctor, but he wasn't good at playing patient. "If you hadn't been standing at the window that night, I wouldn't be here. If you hadn't fallen off that horse I wouldn't have a life beyond calculations. If you hadn't walked into the classroom that day and been the only girl who was embarrassed so much by Tamaki that you actually wanted to run away, I would never have fallen in love with you." He breathed in. "And if you hadn't left that night, I would have never become so lost that upon your return I realised I'd been lost all along and that when I was with you, I didn't feel like I was in stagnant water, waiting for a storm so that I could prove I was good enough. You're the only person I've ever had to work out and you're the only person I've ever wanted to work out."

Yuuki stared up at Kyoya. "Why didn't you give me the generic speech before?"

"Because I can't do more than arrange and heal other people." His walls were high enough that no one with a bandaid could get in. "Because I was scared."

The girl realised that he was admitting more than he had ever admitted in his life. More than people admitted on Dr Phil. And it was a feat. It was how he let her fix the pieces that hurt from the past. From the busses. From the planes. From a life of being third and the stress of being expected to be first. "Kyoya?"

"Yes."  
"I love you."

The man let her reach up on tiptoe to kiss him before moving his hands to behind her neck and beside her face. Yuuki didn't kiss him passionately, deeply or romantically. But she showed him that they could move mountains if they worked together. She kissed him sweetly, with meaning and understanding. Something few people in the world shared as deeply as they did. They were mystical. A rarity. They had not been whole without the other and never would be. Which is why they knew down to the core that forever and a day was a feat they could achieve. It would be hard and they would have to work at it, but they would make it. There would be no end to what they would do for each other. In their own way, they were to the other lost loves, keys, boxes, heartbeats, angels.

-

Kyoya drove Yuuki to Suki's. When he said goodbye to the girl on the doorstep, the heavily pregnant woman demanded, in a polite manner, that he come inside. Riki was there and she wanted to meet the mystery man that her aunt had told her about so many times before.

The little girl had grown, but she still had a slight lisp. "Yuuki!" She threw herself away from the movie about humanised penguins and at the girl. "I asthed my parents where babies come from. They said to ask you because you brought it up."

Children had a manner of being abrupt and missing social cues. Yuuki stared at the girl. "Um. The stork."

Kyoya laughed beside her. Riki's head shot to him. "Whosthe he?"  
Yuuki put a hand on the man's shoulder. "This is Kyoya."

"Does he know where babies come from?"

"No. He doesn't." Yuuki shot a warning glance at him.

The young child looked downcast. Suki laughed from the doorway. "Well, Riki." She began. "When you're old enough, I'll tell you."

"Really?" The girls eyes brightened up.

"Yes."

"When will I be old enough?"  
"In thirty years." The woman laughed.

Yuuki stared around the room. Kyoya brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered. "Does she smell like peas?"

"I never risked getting close enough to find out."

He chuckled. "You'll get maternal one day."

"Yeah, when you start using the term 'clucky'."

Kyoya smiled. Suki crossed the room and took her boarder by the hands and walked her over to the couch. "So...let's meet this man of y..." She paused and gripped the girl's left hand.

Yuuki looked up at her face and then tried to pry her hand away.

"Darling." Suki said. "Why is there a skating rink on a very important finger?"

"Um..." The girl looked at Kyoya for help. He looked smug, waiting for her answer himself. "We really don't want it to be public yet."

The older woman stared at Yuuki a coy grin spreading across her face. "You're engaged?"

"Um. Yes."

"How long?"

"How long?" She looked at Kyoya, knowing he could calculate it faster than she could.

"Just over a month." He said in a firm, smooth tone.

"You didn't tell me?" Suki turned to her husband. "Did you know?" He raised his hands in defence.

"You're the first." Yuuki said. "So please, don't tell anyone. We're going to keep this quiet until after Haruhi and Tamaki's wedding."

"When are you planning on getting married?"

Kyoya looked at Yuuki. It was coming up Christmas again, meaning the Suoh wedding was just a few months away. "How's September next sound?"

The girl blushed and looked at the carpet.

The Ootori put a hand on his hip characteristically. "That's a nice long engagement with enough time to organise things properly and go anywhere in the world on Honeymoon without worrying about the weather. You can hit the snow at that time in certain places or the beach in others..." He wanted his notebook.

Yuuki fidgeted; her hand still captive. Suki scrutinised the ring. "Algerian love knot?"

Riki bounced off the couch and pulled the bonded hands down. "Ooo. Pretty."

"Yes. Can you say expensive?" The older woman smiled at the little girl.

"Ethpensive."

"Good girl. Now, go watch Disney."

"Otay."

Suki shook her head. "My gosh girl. Have you told Tachi?"

"No."

"When will you?"

"Um...sometime."

"Meaning never." She looked up at Kyoya. "Call him now."

Yuuki stopped him with a cry of protest. "No. Why?"

"Because." Suki's tone meant what she was going to say was the most obvious thing in the world. "He's the one who's going to walk you down the aisle."

The girl paused. It was true. She didn't want anyone else to do it. Her instructor had become her father. Her relative. The one she could be close to without actually being close to, it was that sort of relationship. Kyoya already had his phone out, realising the fact as his fiancé did. He should do the right thing and ask permission.

The man retreated to a quiet corner, the eyes of everyone followed him. Yuuki peeled herself from Suki and led him to the bathroom, knowing it was the only place no one could eavesdrop without being obvious about it.

She sat on the sink as he dialled.

"Hello?" Tachi picked up but never said anything when he did.

"_Kyoya?"_

"Yes, sir."

"_Why are you calling me 'sir'?"_

Silence.

"_Are you in some sort of trouble?"_

"No, sir. I was just calling to ask you something."

"_Then ask away."_

"You're more of a father to Yuuki than anyone was, and it makes sense to ask you if I could marry her."

Silence. _"As in 'marry' marry? As in the bells, the dress, the cake?"_

"Yes."

Another silence. _"Is she pregnant?"_

Pause, unexpectedly blunt reply. Kyoya gathered his bearings. "No, sir. She isn't."

"_How can you be sure?"_

Yuuki mouthed what they were talking about. Kyoya mouthed said the dreaded 'S' word back and the Cunxin promptly stole the phone. "Tachi, It's quite the impossibility."

"_Yuuki?"_

"Yes?"

"_You're not pregnant?"_

"No."

Relieved silence. _"If you were I'd..."_

Kyoya had taken back the phone. "Yes, sir. I'm sure I'd do the same."

"_Sorry. I didn't realise you were back on."_

"That's...alright. Is it alright?"  
_"Do I have a choice besides saying yes?"  
_"No. But we figured we'd ask anyway."

"_In that case, because of your politeness, I couldn't be happier."_

"Also." Kyoya met Yuuki's eyes. "As father figure, you'd be walking her down the aisle."

"_Thought you'd never ask."_

"Thank you, sir."

"_So, can I come ring shopping?"_

"We've already been." Kyoya leant against the wall, now that he had permission he could let himself slide back into his normal, never-have-to-ask state.

"_What?"_

"We've been engaged a month. It's just official now. We would like it if you kept it a secret though. Thank you. Have a great week. Bye."

"_You..."_

Click.

The Ootori turned to Yuuki. "You have a father."

She was staring at him. "You know, this is weird."  
"What?"

"Getting married."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Things aren't going to change, but people are going to expect them to."

"Then, let them expect and be disappointed."  
"You'll take me on dates, right?"  
"Yes."  
"And you'll be just as good to me as you are now?"  
"If not better."

"And I can still do annoying things and you'll think that their awesome?"

Silence.

"Oh come on. You think their awesome."

"Awesome is not the right word." He pulled her close. "Annoying isn't either. I would have said that I adore how you know how to press the right buttons to get the reaction I want to give."

Yuuki pinched his ribcage. "Suki. You can come in."

The door opened. The woman had no shame. "Well. That settles it then."

"Secret, Suki."

"Okay." Pause. "Okay." She held her huge belly. "Right. Well. For a while anyway." The woman walked away.

"She's odd." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"She's very heavily pregnant and craves olives and whipped cream."

"Ah."

"And you wonder why I have no maternal feelings."

"I thought it as destiny." He picked her hand up and pretended to read her palm, knowing it would amuse her to see him out of his cold character for once and playing host in a twisted way. "This line means you'll end up with twelve children. And this one shows that you'll age badly. And this one..."

Yuuki didn't like his out of character game. She didn't like his host game either. She grabbed his palm. "Okay, this line is happiness, because it's the shortest. And this one is love, because it's the second shortest."

"Wrong."

"You were wrong first."

"Yes. I was. Just pleasing the woman."

"An insult is not pleasing."

"No. But it made you laugh."

"Yes. And I doomed you for the rest of your life."

"As long as it wasn't eternity."

Pause. Yuuki stood. "Alright Tamaki's apprentice. Enough generic stuff for one night."

Kyoya followed her to the front door. "Sleep sweet, Yuuki."  
She smiled. "You too."

He leaned down and kissed her, gently, deeply. The girl wrapped her arms behind his neck and kissed him back. The man rested his forehead on hers. "September?" He breathed into her.  
"September." She breathed into him.

They lingered for a moment. Not willing to say goodbye just yet. The porch light flew on. Riki was standing at the window. "EW! Coodies!"

Yuuki laughed softly. "Ew. Coodies." She mimicked back to Kyoya in a quiet voice, her cheeks already turning scarlet.

"You're such a child." He ran his nose down hers.

"AUNT SUKI!" The little girl cried. "YUUKI'S GETTING ATTACKED BY THE STRANGE MAN!"

Suddenly the woman appeared beside the girl, she had been there all along. "Really? How?"  
"He's giving her Coodies."

Yuuki pulled away from Kyoya and crosser her arms at the pair. "Light. Off. Now."

Suki raised her hands defensively. "Oo, touchy."

They plunged back into the dull light of evening. The Cunxin turned back to Kyoya. "There's the immature influence on my life."

"All one and a half of them." He wrapped her back up in his arms.

Yuuki touched his face, letting her finger trace a line from where his glasses stopped on his nose, down over his lips and to his chin.

Kyoya smiled coyly. "Let's hope it's not contagious." He kissed her finger and then her lips.

The porch light flew on again. "YUUKI! I have cold medicine! You can take that to get rid of the boy germs!" Riki was holding aloft a glass bottle and a spoon. "Aunt Sthuki says it will help with your love sick eyes and irregular heartbeat too! She says that all boys except uncle have the disease and that you'll die if you stay to close to them. You look flushed, it musthed me spreading!"

The Ootori laughed, let his fiancé go and squeezed her hand goodbye. "Good night, Yuuki."

The girl smiled. "Good night, Kyoya."

"YUUKI! QUICK! BEFORE IT BECOMES AN EPIDEDIMIDIC!"

Too late, she thought pleasantly, opening the door. It wasn't even a disease. It was a cure.

-

_A blue, black shade of love.  
Sent from above.  
My hands are tied, two worlds alone,  
And this I know.  
My hands shake clasped with fear,  
As you come near  
To say goodnight, just like a dove.  
A peaceful sign.  
To help us by.  
Stars fall like dust, our lips will touch.  
We speak too much._

_And honestly, I love you.  
You make me feel alive.  
And I'll love you,  
Until the end of time._

_I've got a lot to say, if you will let me  
It's always hard, when you're around me  
But here right now, there's interest in your eyes  
So hear me out, and hear this the first time  
That I... love you...  
That I... love you...and honestly...  
And I... love you...you make me feel alive...  
That I...love you...till the end of time._

_(Breathe, Angels and Airwaves) (Altered)_

_-_

-------------------------

_Fighting Dreamers Pro were the inspiration to the Death Note/Twilight thing. They're amazing cosplayers. Again, a reminder that I'm off on Tuesday until Friday. I'm sorry about how my posts haven't been as frequent as we'd both like; I'm just exceptionally busy. Hope you don't lose interest. Keep reading, things will be normal again soon. This chapter was a little character development, plot bunnies put down, time lines assured. That whole thing. And Fluff :)_

_Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know what you think. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	20. Chapter 18

-

**Chapter 18**

**-**

_From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, their streams of light flow together, for eternity in perfect harmony. Even though they find grounding from different sources. Even though they are different entities, they possess the power to create a single home according to their compatibility and conjunction._

_-_

Yuuki stood on a pedestal and chatted to Haruhi. They were at a dress makers, the bride to be getting hers stitched and the maid of honour to be getting hers fitted.

Haruhi was talking about her spring wedding plans. Outside it was snowing. "Well, Tamaki wants swans but I think that's too much. What do you think?"

"Animals, at a wedding? Sounds like a disaster."

"That's what I said."

"And he said?"

"Ambience."

Yuuki laughed. "He would say that."

Haruhi stared at her reflection. Her dress was simple and suited her beautifully. White gown, glass beading, spaghetti straps. "Would you be scared leading up to your wedding?"

"My wedding?" The girl looked up, wondering how much Suki had spilled, if any.

"Yes. You'll get married eventually."

"Oh. Yes. I would be scared." She was petrified already.

"Why?" The girl ran her hands over the soft blue silk of her gown. It was cut just below the knee and was detailed for spring.

"What do you mean, 'why'?"

"Well, when you know you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you cant wait for the rest of your life to begin, right?"  
"Right..."

"Yes. So...if you find that special someone, and its perfect, why am I so nervous?"  
"You have months yet."

"I know it's the right decision. The best decision. But..."

"You're giving yourself to someone forever. You. When you've belonged to yourself for so long and no longer will." Yuuki said softly, more to herself than anyone else.

Haruhi cocked her head to the side. "Yes. I think your right. Giving myself to Tamaki, forever, even though I want him to have me...what if he doesn't like it?"

"He obviously likes you enough to give himself to you." The Cunxin was more consoling herself than her friend.

There was a long silence. "Yuuki?"

"Yes?"

"Can I see something?"  
"What?"

The girl held her hand out to Yuuki's left. She gave her right. The engagement ring had been twisted under to her palm, leaving just a thin line of gold across her finger. In two weeks, no one had noticed.

"No, you're left."

"Why?" She closed her hand around the ring.

"Because, I have a sneaking suspicion that in the time you were consoling yourself and not me, you finally broke some form of impasse."

"Stop being a lawyer and trying to read people."

"Please?"

The Cunxin sighed. She knew people would find out. This was not a secret, it was just something they kept private for the meantime until she was comfortable with the fact. Yuuki had realised through Haruhi's worries, that her own were nothing. She wanted to be the greatest gift Kyoya ever got, to give him ever secret, every habit, everything. She was just worried he wouldn't like it; just like Haruhi. Except, both girls had come to the realisation that their men had asked for forever, which meant they had asked for them. Yuuki gave over her left hand and watched Haruhi hesitantly. The girl's eyes widened as she turned the gold band to the bottom.

"Jehosephat." She looked up at the Cunxin. "No wonder you understand my concerns. How long has this been going on?"

"Almost two months."

"And you didn't tell?"

"Like you said, it's unnerving."

There was a stunned silence. "Oh my gosh. When did he ask you?"

"At the airport. In London when you arrived." Yuuki was shy about the topic.

"And the wedding?"

"He wants September."  
"And you?"

"I always wanted an autumn wedding."

Haruhi smiled sweetly. "Well, when you find them, you find them."

Yuuki smiled back, embarrassed. "Yeah." She knew she had more than found him. She had found herself in him. "Um...I don't know how to announce it. Kyoya has left that to me, and I don't know how."

"I'd tell his parents first." Came the reply. "They're the ones you'll have to win over. The host club will be thrilled. I'll even keep it from Tamaki until you're ready."

Yuuki felt blessed to have two people who understood her unease with the topic. "Okay." She breathed. She was at dinner at the Ootori's that night. "Okay."

She would have to try. It was the only way to conquer her fear of herself.

-

Yuuki arrived at the Ootori estate an hour before dinner. She needed to talk to Kyoya. He was walking through the foyer to the lounge, his mind occupied by the folder in front of him, when the girl burst through the door and grabbed his elbow, spinning him and changing direction.

"Hello to you too." The Ootori let her drag him to his room at the end of the hall, somewhat annoyed that she had caused him to draw a long black line across his paper with her efforts to direct him. "You're early."

Yuuki paused. "Sorry."  
"I don't mind."

"Um..." The girl sat on one of the couches. "I was with Haruhi today. And I told her. And I asked her who we should announce it to first. And she said your family. And that makes sense. And...oh my gosh I have no idea how to do that."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Well, just turn the ring around to how you'll wear it when the news is public." Then it will be public.

Yuuki ran her thumb over the ornament. "And then they'll trigger the conversation?"

"Most likely. We don't miss things like that."

"Really?"  
Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Okay. No, you never miss things like that. I'm just freaking out. People are going to know." She stared as the man sat down beside her. "They're going to know and they're going to talk and they're going to want to know more and maybe they'll start rumour and..."

"And they'll love you." He pressed a finger to her mouth. "Your here most days anyway for Zero. Its not like they don't know your part of my life."

"Yes, but I don't think your father will like the new 'permanent' part of your life part....part"

"Relax. Your overreacting."

"I'm not. I'm...am I overreacting?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've seen you react to things and you don't react like you are now."

"Sorry...I'm..." It was a big thing for her.

"I know." Kyoya opened the folder he had been holding and stared at the page. He changed the topic. "I've been looking at the statistics of the bombing."

Yuuki craned her neck to see. "Yes?"  
"And, it turns out that without the Ootori group, the funds of the cleanup and health services would have not stretched far enough."

The girl wrapped her fingers around his upper arm. "So...you get lots of profit?"

"We will."

"Yay." She said quietly in support.

Kyoya felt her against his side and stared at the page as he allowed his head to tilt sideways to rest on hers. "You know, I think out of any project, this is the best I've done."

"You worked very hard."

"No, not work wise. Or profits. It's not the hardest or best I've done. But it's the most beneficial. The one with the most merit." He finally realised that real profit didn't come from the stock market, although, that kind helped a lot.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Sorry."

Kyoya closed his folder. He had structured his day to finish work just before she arrived. "Tell me about your day." Her voice helped him unwind to a human level again.

"Well. I got my bridesmaids dress today."

"Yes?"  
"And it was awful getting it fitted."

"Why?"

"Quote. 'oh, honey, you need a bigger bust. Oh, you have such a nice waist; it would be better if you let yourself go a bit and got some real curves...'" She buried her face in his shoulder and made a melodramatic weepy noise as a mockery to the abuse. "It was awful."

Kyoya smiled. "You have a waist."

"Yes. I'm supposed to be an hourglass, but the lady said I was so slight I was practically a rectangle. I can't help it. I'm healthy. I exercise. I eat fast food and drink soda." Pause, that was a bit of an oxymoron; health and fast food in the same sentence. Kyoya would understand though. Its not like she lived off celery. "Being a woman is so hard." The pursuit of perfection that could only be attained with Photoshop.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with you."

"Yes. But you're biased."

"No I'm not. There is nothing wrong with you at all. Beauty is subjective. It is an ephemeral entity. It always looks different each moment of the day, but it's always beautiful."

"Oh." She pushed away from him. "Go write Hallmark cards."

Kyoya laughed softly. He had said roughly the same thing about beauty at the host club and girls had squealed in joy. Yuuki was different. Perfect with every flaw society claimed she had, but that she didn't actually posess. "I think you're beautiful."

"Yes. But you're biased. Your one of those 'oh, inner beauty' kind of people. You studied humanities. Along with various other subjects. I know these things." She tapped her nose. "And you're a boy. Inherently, you think you're beautiful and wonderful and amazing. Girls inherently think their awful and awkward and confused."

"No. Women become like their mothers, that's their tragedy. No man does, and that's his."

"Oscar Wilde." Yuuki smiled slightly.

"I don't think you see yourself clearly." It had always been her problem.

"How do you see me?"  
"You have a straight nose, your lips are one third the height of their length – an apparent sign of perfect dimensions, your skin is always clear because of the copious amount of water you drink, your hair is dark, you might be just below desired height but you're my desired height." He could go on but she would get embarrassed and words would lose their effect. "All in all, you're..."

"Very normal." Yuuki pulled her legs to her chest. "I have brown hair, brown eyes and since when was a mouth an indication of dimension? That's absurd. My skin...that's just luck, and genes and lifestyle; or whatever. I'm short, and..." Oh, how one statement from a stranger could crush an entire perception of one's self.

"And I fell for you." Slight subject change.

"I don't think we ever fell in love. I think we just loved. Falling implies hitting the ground, and that never happened. Not even when you let me fly away. It was progressive, but it was a climb. Not a fall." Pause. "I don't think there was ever a point where I didn't love you. Not that I can remember."

"If there is no definitive start, then there cannot be a definitive end. Or one at all."

"Okay. No more talking."

"Okay."

"I said no more talking."

"Then stop talking."  
"You stop talking."  
Kyoya leant back and stared incredulously at her. She didn't want to talk, but she still wanted to converse. He let her rest herself against him before tilting her chin up and kissing her. Yuuki liked how he could leave a topic but close it at the same time, make his point and leave her to make up her mind. A process that took a lot more time for her than it did for him. Outside it began to snow again and the girl rested a hand on the Ootori's shoulder as she kissed him back and watched the world move around them while they kept their progress solid and smooth, open to outside factors but controlled to the combined needs of themselves. Not specific needs, amalgamated beings and the world they created. Kyoya let his hand stray up her back and to the base of her hair. There he traced the start of the waves that formed the dark mass. Yuuki closed her eyes and pulled away from him and buried the bridge of her nose against the curve of his neck. He turned his head and pressed his mouth to the girl's throat, just below her jaw.

"Okay." Kyoya stopped breathed against her. "You need to face your demons now."

"You mean your parents, right?" Yuuki cringed into him.

"Yes."

"Let them drink cosmos."

"You have to stop comparing the upper classes to Marie Antoinette."

"But I like to."  
"Because she got decapitated?"

"No. Because she painted her face, wore hideous dresses just because they were in fashion and married for alliance, not love."

"Hasn't changed much."

"Exactly."

"Well, you need to go tell Louis that his dear son is not following tradition and is not going to wed himself to some tart whose father owns a string of resorts in Spain."

"Oh, snap." Yuuki sat up and ran a hand through her hair. "You're still marrying an upper class kid."  
"Yeah, but you weren't born like that."  
"Yes. My family has drive."

"And divorce."

"Stop with making the negatives all obvious. I'm an Olympian."

"Yes, ma'am."  
"Good boy." She petted his head mockingly. "Now, go stand guard and sic anyone who attempts to set their teeth into me with disdain."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Overreacting."

"Scared."

"Don't be." He took her left hand and spun her ring around. "They'll accept you. They cant not. If they don't, they lose me. And they need me."

"Oh, comforting." She blinked as he kissed the top of her head.

"Just pretend it's a normal, relaxing dinner."

"Oh yes. Because eating here is a normal, relaxing experience."

"Yuuki. Just behave."

"I always behave."

"Yes. This is what we both want and you can't not work for something you want."

"Okay capitalist man."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

She trusted him. She had given him her heart, she had yet to hand over her life but she knew it would be perfect. She knew it was what she wanted more than anything. All she wanted was to be with him. Bound officially to the worlds standards, and not just to their own.

-

_My heart to you is given:  
Oh, do give yours to me;  
We'll lock them up together,  
And throw away the key.  
(Frederick Saunders)_

_-_

Yuuki glanced across the table at Kyoya as everyone settled into dinner. It just so happened that his mother was on her left. The brothers were both married as was the sister. It was just her, him and the wolves.

"Evening, Yuuki." Kyoya's father's voice reverberated through the room.

"Good evening, sir."

"I hear from Suoh that you went shopping with his son's fiancé today."

"Yes, sir."  
"Good girl she is. I had planned for her to marry Kyoya, but Tamaki got there first."

"I'm, sorry to hear that." She sent a pleading look at Kyoya who just took a sip of water and said hello to his mother.

"Well..." The woman turned to Yuuki. "When's the wedding again?"  
"May."

"A Spring wedding, how delightful."

"It should be, Haruhi's dress is perfect for it."

"Oh, and what does it look like?"  
"I'm not at liberty to tell, not with the best man sitting across the table."

The woman laughed. Yuuki relaxed. Get on good notes first before letting them unleash the bomb. "So, how about you. What about you're wedding? Whenever that happens..." She veered off.

"Um...what about it?" Tension.

"Well, I don't expect you to have thought of it..." Kyoya's mother trailed off as the girl drank some water, an effort to open her throat again. "Um..."

Yuuki paused as she put the glass down, her hand still around it, the moisture wrapped around the ring. She didn't look at her unsuspecting-mother-in-law-to-be.

"Dear." Mrs Ootori looked at her son. He looked vaguely amused. As if this were the best game he had played in a while. "Um..."

"What's the matter, woman?" Mr Ootori said from his seat. Demanding.

"Um...I think that..."

Yuuki didn't say anything. Kyoya took over. "Yuuki and I are engaged."

His father stared icily at the girl before diverting his gaze to his son. "Excuse me?"

"We are engaged. To be married." He seemed so calm. Yuuki wanted to throw something at him. Bread stick maybe. Oh the possibilities.

"No, you are not."

"Yes, father, we are."

"Kyoya. I will not allow you to marry a disrespectful, unnamed 'fling'."

"I will not allow you to talk about Yuuki like that. It is just as disrespectful and unnames you."

Mrs Ootori had snatched the girl's left hand and was examining the collection of rocks. "When..."

"Almost two months."

"Why?"  
Yuuki took her hand back gently. "Because, I love your son."

Mr Ootori scoffed. "There is no such thing."

"But sir, there must be." She sat up straighter.

"Yes, prove it."  
"Close your eyes." Kyoya watched her smugly from his seat. She was obviously sick of their ill veiled insults. Yuuki threw a grape at his father and he had to try not to burst out laughing from shock.

The man's eyes shot open. "What was that?!"

"What? Nothing happened."

"It was not nothing. You threw something at me."

"Prove it."

"I felt it."

"So did I. And so does your son."

Mr Ootori sat back and contemplated her argument. He began laughing. Yuuki hadn't breathed in a minute and didn't know whether it was safe to yet. Kyoya's father leaned back in his chair, she outwitted him. "You make a valid statement."

"Yes, sir."

"Ha. Hm. Well. I might not like it, but I can't stop it. Your getting a prenup though."

Yuuki nodded. "We already discussed that."

"You're willing?"

"Yes, sir. I have no intention of divorcing your son, ever."

"But you've divorced before."

"Yes, sir."  
"How can you say you won't again."

"I can't to you in terms you will understand. But I can say I know it won't."

Kyoya crossed his arms. "It won't happen."

His father turned to him. "How can you be sure?"  
"Calculations. Would I do it if it wasn't a profitable endeavour with long term benefits?"  
Mr Ootori thought. "No. I raised you well." Pause. "Alright."

"Alright?" Yuuki stared at him.

"Alright." The man said firmly. "I need my son and he apparently needs you, for reasons I cannot see."

"Thank you, sir." Yuuki breathed and ignored his unveiled insult.

Kyoya smiled coyly across the table at her. The girl wanted to throw a grape at him but refrained from the act. Not in front of his parents. Mrs Ootori sat in silence the rest of the evening. She did not consider the girl good enough for her son, but she had considered none of her other children's spouses worth her own. She had married for money and power and very few had as much as the Ootori's. No one could match them for breeding and prestige and all below that were looked upon with veiled disdain.

-

An hour later, the pair were watching one of Kyoya movie picks. Something about conspiracy, calculations and confusion.

"He's going to die. In ten minutes." Yuuki said, indicating the man on screen. "They just told you about his wife and children and how happy his life is."

"Are you saying all happy people die?"

"No. That would ruin Disney forever. I'm saying that all happy people that tell you about their lives and who don't have something to angst about die in these movies die."

"There are plenty of other happy people in this."

"Yes." She said flatly. "But they all have STD's."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "All of them?"

"All of them. James Bond shouldn't technically be alive."

"This isn't a James Bond film."

"No, if it was, I would be much more interested."

"How much of that is the film and how much is the actor?"  
"I'd say...40%, 60%."

"Mmmhmm."

"Your dad was...not very happy." At the end of the meal, he had risen silently and left the room with a storm cloud over his head. His wife left though another door with her face puckered.

"But things worked out."

"Yes, they did."

"I told you so."

"You told me so."

"I also helped you when I said I wouldn't. You owe me."

"Owe you what?"  
Thoughtful pause. "You're telling Tamaki."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."  
"You said I never owed you anything."

"No, technically you don't. You're the only person I don't charge. But really, I'd much prefer it if you told him."

"But..."

"Please?" He asked for the first time ever.

"Why?"

"Because, I'm tired, I'm stressed, Tamaki's annoying and I have a lot of work."

"Stop trying to make me sympathise."

"All you do is ride, and you only train four times a week now as opposed to the six you used to."

"That's still a lot of riding."

"Its heavy hobby, not occupation."

"Are you calling me unemployed?"

"No, I'm saying your unemployed."

"There's FEI in a year and a half."

"You don't want to compete in it."

"Yes I d..."

"No, Yuuki. You really don't. You cringe when they call your name on the speakers. You only rode competitively because your mother used to and because your father made you."

Yuuki crossed her arms. "No..." Pause. "I liked the prize money."

"Liked."

"Okay. Okay. Alright." She raised her hands in defence. "I hated competing. Yes, past tense. No, I don't think I will again. But it doesn't mean I can't ride. I still like it. It's what I know."

"You should do what you want to do."

"I want to marry you."

"Yes. I know that. But other than that."

"Your mother doesn't work."

"Yes, and she's miserable. I don't want you miserable. She thinks that in matter of importance, style, not sincerity is the most vital thing"

Yuuki stared out the window. She had put Zero away that night and felt at peace with the fact that he wouldn't have to throw himself over jumps for her again. He hated noise. "I know that this whole engagement thing is a big step for me. I'm still learning. I do want a real job, but I want it to be my job. Not the one you suggested."

Kyoya stared at her. "Hm."

"No, not like I don't want you to help. But I just want to make my own decision on this. For once. My saying yes to you was the first decision about my future that I really made for myself. And I wouldn't have had it any other way."

"Alright." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You think about it and come back to me."

"I won't have to come back. I won't have left."

Pause. "You're still telling Tamaki."  
Yuuki scowled. "No."

"Yes."

"No."  
"Yes."

"No."

Kyoya wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and pulled her into a deeply enchanting kiss. "Yes?" He let his breath was over her face. Yuuki swallowed and nodded slowly, her mind had to clear and she didn't realise she had just fallen prey to one of Kyoya's new tactics. He thought it needed to be tested again in order to be proven.

"Will you tell the twins too?"

Yuuki put her fingers on his mouth. "Don't push your luck."

Kyoya laughed. He hadn't wanted her to anyway; he just needed an excuse and said so.

"Well..." The girl thought for a minute. "You don't need an excuse." She kissed him sweetly. Something in the movie exploded and someone started yelling.

Both of them tensed for a moment and stared at the remains of a building on the screen. Kyoya turned the TV off. Something like that suddenly held no entertainment, it could not be acted. It was too much a part of the world to not be real on at least some level.

"Hm..." Yuuki crossed her legs under herself.

"Indeed." Kyoya crossed his arms.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

The man glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. Yuuki was watching him. He was feeling the same thing she was. Seeing the face of the young man who had died. Who died without the chance to say goodbye. The Ootori opened his arms, needing her comfort from the fact that he had almost left the world too, at the same age. From how he had almost become a broken statistic. Yuuki liked being caged in his arms. She had the key to get away too, but she didn't want to. It was calming. Like a balm for every time she'd been hurt and an assurance of her forgiveness for every time she had hurt him. Peter Ustinov had once said that love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit. Kyoya understood that. He didn't like revealing emotion, but he had it nonetheless. Yuuki was one who understood his mannerisms to the point that he was a human. To her, he had a heart that wasn't cold and calculating and totally focused on profit. That's what he was to the world. But to their world, he was a comfort, a best friend, a silent support, a calculating lover. He was everything he was in reality, only expressed from a different perspective. Yuuki, however, would always be Yuuki. She just was. In both worlds. Only, she closed off to the one that wasn't the one they created. She kept herself horded away from hurt and only let him in to explore the regions unknown to everyone except those who had the key.  
Flaws that enabled perfection.

-

_Any girl walk by, don't matter  
Every time you're looking better  
I think you're perfect,  
there ain't nothing I would change  
She can be a supermodel  
Every magazine the cover  
She'll never ever take my heart away_

I don't want…nothing… I don't got  
I don't need…nothing…but you  
I can't get…more than…you give me  
So don't stop anything you do

You're all that…all that…and then some  
You know what…just what…I need  
And no girl…no place…nowhere  
Could mean a thing to me

_(She's no you, Jesse McCartney) _

-

As autumn arrived and blended into winder, the Host Club decided to take the weekend to go stay in a mountain retreat and watch winter begin the climb to its middle. It was almost the end of November and everything had a bitter chill to it.

Hunny sat wrapped in front of a fire as night deepened and held a stick covered in marshmallows over the flames. Mori sat in an arm chair and enjoyed the warmth after a day making snowmen. The twins were making instant hot chocolate, amazed that there were more instant, heated beverages than coffee. Tamaki had put the Jackson Five on the stereo and was making a valiant speech about the soul of African American music.

"Do the dance with me!" He held a hand to Haruhi. _Rockin' Robin_ was playing. The blonde saw his fiancé shake her head and went straight for Kyoya's. Of course, Tamaki didn't know that the pair were engaged and thus saw no problem with dancing with the unknown-wife-to-be.

Yuuki tried to pull away from him, but Suoh had the mannerisms of a determined Labrador. Determined to be joyous, right to the end. He spun her and Haruhi laughed. The Cunxin didn't know what to do or how to get away. Kyoya stood behind the sofa with a hand on his hip and the other on the noseband of his glasses, smiling quietly at the scene.

"No. Tamaki. No...don't..." Yuuki tried to get free but failed every time. "Haruhi, your dead."

The girl laughed. "Just relax and go with the flow. He'll let you go eventually."

Yuuki growled.

"Do it. Seriously. Don't fight him or he will get worse." Haruhi knew from experience.

Yuuki tried to relax. Tamaki was singing. "Twiddley diddly deet. Diddly, diddly, diddly, diddly. Twiddley diddly deet. Diddly, diddly, diddly."

The girl found herself laughing at him and then at herself when she found herself doing it too. By the end of the song, Tamaki had had his fun and saw no need to dance A-B-C with her. However, he did mention something about Thriller. Yuuki told him no. The blonde made a face and squeezed her hand. He paused and frowned.

"Wait..."

The girl cringed, waiting.

"OH MY GOSH!" Tamaki exploded. "JEHOSEPHAT! YAHOO!" He leapt into the air and Yuuki quickly took a step back, only to be embraced and spun in a tight circle.

Kyoya laughed quietly to himself. She had no idea what was coming. He did and had stood behind a piece of furniture.

"WHEN? WHO? HOW?" Tamaki clutched the girl's hands in his own and beamed at her. The rest of the host club had suddenly found a place for their undivided attention.

"Um...Heathrow Airport, Kyoya, by asking...?" Yuuki tried to make herself small and avoid the exuberant attention.

"YAHOO!" Tamaki exploded again and picked the girl up this time. He then put her down and threw himself at the couch, over it and into his best friend. They landed with a thunk on the floor. Kyoya growled, displeased. "YOU SLY DOG!" Tamaki exclaimed. "All this time!"

The Ootori looked up. Yuuki had her arms crossed and a coy smile on her face that said it served him right. "You're crushing me, Tamaki."

The Suoh realised that he had completely tackled Kyoya and was currently on top of him, not supporting any of his own weight. He quickly and gracefully stood up and brushed his hair away.

Hunny was standing beside the arm of the sofa that had once been used as a defence mechanism but had failed miserably. "What happened?"

Tamaki grabbed Yuuki's hand and paraded it over to the short blonde. "Look, isn't it pretty. Isn't it perfect? Not as pretty and perfect as Haruhi and I, but its close."

The girl sent Kyoya a long-suffering glance. He didn't sympathise.

"Yuu-chan?! YUU-CHAN!" Hunny threw himself on the girl. "We will have a party. With cake. And strawberries. You'll have a strawberry cake at your wedding? And a chocolate one at your engagement party? Actually, you should have both and..."

"Umm..." She lifted the man by his armpits and lowered him to the floor again. "Haruhi's wedding is first. If you want cake, ask her."

That got rid of one set of prying eyes and two sets of attention. Mori congratulated her and then went to stand by Kyoya. Doing the same in a manner the Ootori would understand. When the twins came near, Tamaki pulled Yuuki's hand back.

"No. You two will try get her drunk."

Kaoru scoffed. "No we won't."

Hikaru put his hands in his pockets. "Not while Kyoya is around anyway."

The Ootori glared at them, Yuuki tried to get away from Tamaki but in vain.

The Hitachiin pair examined her ring. "We defiantly saw this one coming."  
Tamaki's jaw dropped. "You knew?"  
"From the day they met."

Yuuki took the chance to reclaim her limbs and escape to Kyoya's side. "Next time, keep your tactics to yourself."

He laughed, low and deep. "Next time, stop Tamaki from playing rugby in the lounge. This house was expensive."

"You own this house? I thought it was a rental thing."

"We never rent things." He said matter of factly. "This is actually Hunny's families holiday villa."

"Huh." Pause. "How many...?"  
"One beach, one city, one mountains. Three on average." Houses. He saw her waiting. "We have two beach, one city in Japan, one in Paris, one in the mountains."

Yuuki stared. "Why do you need so many houses?"

"Because, we go on holiday and like personal comforts. Seeking happiness."

"Yes. Yes. I know the host club jargon, but wow."

"You want more?"

"No. I would be happy with just a little cottage. As long as you were in it."

Kyoya smiled. "Yes. Well. I would be happy with a big cottage, as long as you were in it."

She pinched him before turning her attention back to the tease-fest between Tamaki and the twins. "Did he take it well?"

"Very. They all did. Can't say they didn't expect it."

"Really?"

"Well..." He said smugly. "You are perfect in absolutely every way."

Yuuki crossed her arms. "Thank you Merry Poppins."

Kyoya wrapped one arm around her waist. Every time he pulled her close it was as if he were in control. Even if they shared power in their own way. Yuuki however, always found a niche in him and managed to let him know that he wasn't her leader, he was her friend. Her best friend and love. If a man is the head of a relationship, the woman is the neck. Without which, the head can never turn or see new things with ease.

Their relationship was perfect for them. Just as Tamaki and Haruhi's was perfect for them. Kyoya and Yuuki didn't try to smooth each other's rough edges. That would make them unnatural, unable to be raw and completely whole. Flaws are what made the other shine. Perceived flaws like self image, esteem, sociology and misguidance could be changed, but the real thing was not a fault but a part of being. Their edges locked together and strengthened to last into infinity. They had no time, no world to hold them. They just were. There was nothing to explain it and nothing to be explained. It just happened. Like destiny in a world that only believed coincidence. Trust in a world where it did not exist. Hope in a world of shattered dreams. A whole version of what people looked for their entire lives and never found. They were lucky. They were lucky to have someone they didn't want to say goodbye to. Someone they missed even in the split second they blinked. Someone who's love didn't fade. If it ever began to, they knew exactly how to make it shine again. Life like a glass of water. Life that gets spilled, shaken and finds a need to be refilled. They were each other's water source. Life source. Even so, Yuuki and Kyoya were independent beings. That's what made it work. They were themselves and themselves within the other. There was a non-judgemental freedom that was part of their definition. An understanding that was part of their make-up. A code of knowledge that, even if they fit perfectly, pieces were designed separate. Even if they were destined to play together wholly.

"Hey! Yuuki, Kyoya!" Tamaki called them over. "When are you planning to wed?"

"September next." Yuuki said. "Kyoya will have finished university and can take a break before specialising." She shot him a glance that said they would discuss that later. He sent her a glance of annoyance.

"September...autumn."  
"Yes."

"What an amazing colour scheme!" The blonde exclaimed.

Haruhi called her fiancé over and waited for him to sit beside her before beginning to talk about their wedding. Distracting him and giving the pair a break. They would get a lot of enthused hell over the coming months. Marital bliss monologues.

"I'm going back to university."

"Not till after the winter."  
"Yuuki. I have to get another degree."

"Well, I have to get one." She said firmly.

Kyoya paused. "You decided." He stated.

"Of course I decided. You'll be moving to the University of Tokyo to do a business management degree, although you already know more than they can teach, and I will do psychology."

"Good girl."

"Yes, master." She mocked.

Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up. "You will have many options for occupation then, being my wife."

Yuuki felt her stomach flutter. "Okay. The wife thing is making me...fidgety."

"Why?"  
"Husband." She titled him.

He thought a moment. "Yes. I understand." If the terms boyfriend and girlfriend hadn't worked, husband and wife would take some getting used to. They would be that, legally, but they would be more than that. The world told them what to be, their world allowed them how to be. That was the difference. The how. The allowance to not settle into a stereotype and keep creating their own world within the real world. non-judgemental freedom extended beyond their barriers and reached into their universe.

"But, when we're married, then that will work. Fiancé is even...odd."

"I wouldn't say odd."  
"What would you say?"

"I would say..."

"YUU-CHAN! KYO-CHAN! Come roast marshmallows!" Hunny called from his place by the fire.

"I would say 'us.'" He headed over to the short blonde and stood above him, declining the offer of melted sugar on a stick.

Yuuki sat at his feet and joined Hunny. Every so often she would wave an on-fire marshmallow at him, waiting to see if he would blow it out. He always did.

"I'm so glad you two are getting married." Hunny chimed. "I really am. It's like Tama-chan and Haru-chan, only different. I love weddings. I love weddings with my friends."

Yuuki smiled at him. "I'm glad."

The short blonde grinned and turned his attention back to the fire. Later that evening, the twins declared their approval of the match. Tamaki kept declaring various optimistic views about the planned union and Haruhi was asked to be a maid of honour.

Except, by the end of the night, there was a lingering, unsettling feeling that hovered around the girl. She had her friends, she had a sort of family in Tachi and Suki, but she didn't have the real thing. She needed to see her mother again. She would take Kyoya to meet her silent grave. She would do the right thing and call her brother to tell him. Yuuki told the Ootori this and he stood silent, contemplating.

"Your brother?"

"Yes."

"You're just telling him?"  
"Yes."

"And then you'll let him tell your father instead of him finding out another way." Kyoya worked it out in his mind.

"Yes, I didn't have a bad relationship with Mako, and I'm an aunt now. Apparently."

"Just be careful." He agreed with her idea.

"Okay." She nodded and slipped outside before she lost the guts to retrace a part of her past.

Yuuki had kept all her contacts, Mako was the exact middle one. The tone rang five times before it was picked up.

"_Hello?"  
_"Mako?"

"_Yes, who is this?"_

"It's Yuuki."

"_Yuuki?"_

"Yes, your sister."

"_No, I know who you are." _He sounded tired.

Silence. "Um...I was calling to tell you something."

"_Yes?"  
_"Just so you don't find out some other way. You are my brother."

"_You divorced this family."_

"You would have too if you'd had the chance."

Silence. _"What is it Yuuki?"_

"I'm getting married."

"_To who?"_

"Kyoya Ootori."

There was an impressed whistle. _"How'd you manage that?"_

"You chose Ouran."

"_Ouran Academy..."_

"Yes." Yuuki smiled at the memories.

"_Good choice."_

"It was."

Silence.

"Mako?"

"_Yes?"_

"How's my niece or nephew?"

"_You knew about that?"_

"Yes."

"_Your nephew was still born."_

"I'm sorry."

"_It's not your fault."_

"You still with her?"

"_Yes. We're married now. She's expecting again."_

Yuuki smiled. He wasn't hard like her father. He was a little like her mother. She was like her mother. "Mako?"  
_"Yes?"_

"I'd like you to talk to Kyoya."

Pause. _"Alright."_

"Hold a second." The girl got up quickly and found her fiancé, she took him outside and picked her phone up again. "You there?"  
_"Yes."_ It was getting late, very few people had places to go.

Yuuki put her hand over the mouthpiece and turned to Kyoya. "I don't know what he's like now. But please, he's never been like my father."

The man nodded and brushed the hair off her head. He kissed the bare skin of her forehead and took the phone. His tone was instantly official. "Hello? Kyoya Ootori, pleased to be talking to you. Yes we are. You sent her to Ouran. Yes. It was a good choice. Thank you for your decision to send her there. Yes, I'm more than able to provide for her. More than able. Yes. No. No. Hm. No. Not at the moment. I don't think that's wise. Yes. Yes. Exactly. I'm glad you understand." Yuuki wondered what her brother was saying. She wondered why Kyoya had his business slash host voice on. "Yes. Okay. It was good talking to you." He hung up. "He says sorry, he has to get up early tomorrow."

"What's not wise?"

"Him meeting you."

"He wanted to?"  
"Yes."

"Real..."

"Remember last time you went to meet a family member?"

"Yes, but..."  
"You trust to easily."

"And you trust like a business man."

"Each to their own."

"Kyoya..."'

"I'm just looking after you."

"I'm glad you talked to him."

"Me too."

"Did you like him?"

"It's hard to make a judgement without bias and on one call."

"Okay." Yuuki looked down. She felt a like she had achieved something. She had contacted something from her past and it hadn't left a scar. "Okay. Thank you."

"Yuuki?"

"Yes?"

Kyoya opened the door inside. "It's freezing."

She smiled and walked through the opening. "Thanks."

The man closed the door after them and joined their friends. Right now, the 'us' was as perfect as it would get. It worked. It clicked. It always had been and always would be. The host club.

Kyoya watched as Yuuki put another jersey on. She loved the cold but didn't do well in it. Bad peripheral circulation. He smiled as he watched her help the twins and Tamaki roast roasted peanuts without argument or question as to the double work on a pre-packaged, ready to eat item. The past would have to wait outside for the moment; it would have to prove itself before entering their world.

-

_One, two, three  
Counting out the signs we see  
The tall buildings  
Fading in the distance  
Only dots on a map  
Four, five, six  
The two of us a perfect fit  
You're all mine, all mine_

And all I can say  
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree  
Hiding out behind the leaves  
I was difficult to reach  
But you picked me  
Like a shell upon a beach  
Just another pretty piece  
I was difficult to see  
But you picked me  
Yeah you picked me

So softly  
Rain against the windows  
And the strong coffee  
Warming up my fingers  
In this fisherman's house  
You got me  
Searched the sand  
And climbed the tree  
And brought me back down

And all I can say  
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree  
Hiding out behind the leaves  
I was difficult to reach  
But you picked me  
Like a shell upon a beach  
Just another pretty piece  
I was difficult to see  
But you picked me  
Yeah you picked me

_(You picked me, A Fine Frenzy)_

_-_

_------------_

_So, I will post again on the 4__th__. _

_Sorry. I hope no one loses interest. I value all of my readers and all your reviews. I love reading what you think, what you have to say. Thank you all for your support so far. I mean that. Thank you. All your reviews and messages keep me going and keep the story going. _

_Anyway. I tried to put enough fluff and plot into this chapter to keep you waiting with baited breath._

_:) _

_Hope you enjoyed it._

_Blessings and keep safe. _

_-pp_


	21. Chapter 19

-

**Chapter 19**

**-**

Halloween. A tradition performed by dressing up, often as scary or mythical beings, in order to get rid of evil spirits in the area. For the Host Club though, Halloween was a chance to play courtesan again. And they did. Tamaki got permission to use Ouran Academy's hall, the one they had used for every other event in the past, and was planning a display of extraordinary magnificence.

"Tamaki." Yuuki was sitting on the couch in the Suoh mansion. "October 31st is a week away. I don't honestly think you can get things ready in that time." It had taken at least two for any other party.

The blonde didn't seem fazed. "Where there's a will, there's a way! I have the will, Kyoya has the way!"

The Ootori glanced up, his finger on the bridge of his glasses. "I hope you are not depending on me to organise all this." He closed his clipboard; he had brought work with him to the luncheon at Tamaki's. "Your erroneous nature has already put me behind on a project for my finals."

"Erroneous? Hardly!" Tamaki fell heavily on the cushion beside his friend. "Kyoya, you love me and because you love me I know you'll help me make this the greatest Halloween ever!" He hugged his friend tight.

Yuuki drummed her fingers on the edge of her seat. Haruhi gave her an amused, long-suffering glance. Kyoya was trying to peel the blonde off himself but was failing miserably. It was like Yuuki with Hunny on a larger scale.

"Please?" Tamaki pleaded, his eyes begging; large and beseeching. He was latched onto the other man, repeating the word and making variations of it whilst hugging his friend repeatedly.

"Tamaki. Tamaki. Get off. Tamaki. Stop. No. Get off. Oh. For the love of...GET OFF!" The man gave a mighty shove but only succeeded in pushing the blonde away for a second before having him slam into his body again.

Haruhi got up and grabbed the back of her fiancés jersey and pulled back. As if by magic, Tamaki came off and latched onto the woman. "Oh, Haruhi. Isn't it a marvellous idea?"

"Yes, it is." She smiled and took him to the sofa furthest away from the dishevelled Ootori.

"You're such a darling." He kissed her passionately.

Yuuki stared at Kyoya who mouthed an explanation for the public acts of intimacy. One word. French. The girl smiled at him as he straightened his persona from the sudden attack. Kyoya would help Tamaki, everyone knew that much. Both women in the room knew the bond that their men had with each other. Complete opposites and yet so drawn to each other. Magnets that stuck but who never fit exactly so against the others surface. Tamaki was good at convincing through annoyance, Kyoya was good at giving it without implying that such act. Yuuki put her chin in her hand and continued to stare at her fiancé. He smiled quietly at her, assuring the girl that Tamaki's flamboyance was because of his obscure upbringing and peculiar social circles.

Haruhi put her now slightly calmed fiancé into the seat beside her and tried to act as if nothing had happened. She was now used to Tamaki's overtly prominent acts of affection and would need to talk to him later about them being so public. "Right. Anyway. Halloween."

Yuuki tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and sat beside Kyoya. The man closed his clipboard and leant forward, ready to start doing what he was good at. "Indeed." His tone was dull, his mannerisms serious. The Cunxin put a hand on his knee. He would enjoy the break and the reminiscence of a time where they had never needed to be healed and where meetings on the balcony were not to run away, but to enjoy the presence of a compatible other.

-

"Yuuki?" Kyoya walked through the Ootori house, book in hand. Yuuki was over to help him order things for the party. "Yuuki?"

He walked into lounge and found her with a pen in her mouth and her hair pinned off her face by a silver paperclip. She was staring at her laptop. "There are three exceptionally large bouquets of flowers in autumn colours from Tuscany that would work for the whole autumn winter theme." The girl twiddled the pen in her fingers as she spoke. "I hate this time of year. It's like winter, but it's not. I like September better. It's actually a defined season." The pen was returned to its place between her teeth.

Kyoya smiled at the swing from business to leisure and then back again. Yuuki hadn't turned from the screen to look at him and was soon absorbed in whatever website she was on. "Order two. Three won't work with the room size. We already have an old suit of armour that can be used between them at the wall at the back of the room."

"The room is huge. Three will work because suits of armour are overrated."

"Its Halloween. Suit of armour works."  
"This is not a children's Halloween party. Tamaki specified that he wanted it to be a fancy dress party. Something upper-class, high toned. No games."

"It's Halloween, not a ball." He pulled the pen from her mouth and sat down.  
Yuuki turned to him. "You want deep reds, blacks, browns, musty rooms, no light, spiderwebs and depressing music?"  
"No, that's what everyone else wants though."

"No. That's lame. Let's just have a fancy dress party. We can to the candlelight thing and put up a few bat silhouettes. But no over the top decorations."  
"Tamaki will be upset."  
"Tamaki will get over it."

"Tamaki will take it out on you."

Yuuki bought all the flowers a closed her computer. "If you want my help, accept it." She crossed her arms and tried to glare at him. She couldn't help but lift the corners of her eyes in a smile though. "I like this planning thing. Behind the scenes is so much more exciting when you're actually there."

Kyoya frowned and let a silence hang as he processed his fiancé. "Are you wearing my shirt?"

The girl looked at her top. "No. I'm wearing a shirt I bought for you."  
"Yes, my shirt."

"No." Yuuki laughed. "See, I buy you shirts for me."

"You buy shirts for me, for you?"

"Yes."  
"So that I look good in them?"

Pause. "Well...yes. But so that I look good in them too."

"You look like your drowning."

"Yes. Because I bought this one in your size."

"Yes. Because its mine."  
Yuuki pushed the sleeve up as it slid over her fingers. "I bought it."  
Kyoya rolled the sleeve up to her elbow. "Yes. For me." He did the other arm. "When you say you bought it in my size, does that mean the next shirt won't be in my size?"

Yuuki smiled. "Maybe."

"Do you want to wear men's clothes?"  
"Yes." She beamed. They were comfortable and in fashion and she said so.

"Well," Kyoya finished rolling her sleeve up. "...as long as you don't do it often. Your a woman and should wear clothes for your gender."

"If you haven't noticed, clothes for my gender look like men. The other day in the store I saw an advertisement that said _I look better in my boyfriends clothes_ and I agreed. I like your clothes. They smell like you."

"Because the clothes belong to me. You've been sucked into society."

"Well, I do live in it." Yuuki tucked her feet beneath her. She knew that since he had expressed his slight distaste for the masculine trend that she would think about why she liked to wear the boyfriend style and only wear large shirts when she wanted to, not when trend wanted her to. She would wear her style and clothes. The ones she bought because they made her feel better about herself, not because they were in _VOGUE_. "You don't like it?"

The shirt was a simple black knit jersey. It had a V-neck and had come from Giordano. She had it tucked into her jeans, the bright blue socks seemed to detract from the whole casual yet trendy look. Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You always look nice. The one good thing your father gave you was genes and you're healthy." Pause. "Did you go into my closet?"  
"No."

Questioning stare.

"...yes." The shirt she had arrived in had been damp because of a downpour. Yuuki had been cold.

"Thought as much." Kyoya tugged her waist gently and waited for the girl to lose her balance and tumble against him. "You don't smell like you."  
"Well..." Yuuki pulled an offended sock back up. "When we're married and I have full reign over the closet, then all your good clothes will smell like me." All his clothes that she wore would smell like her. And that meant only a few shirts. The girl was good at sweeping generalisations.

And the man could play them to his advantage. "All my good clothes will also be too small."

"Yes. Because your wife misjudged your height...awww." She put on an innocent face. It disappeared as quickly as it had come. "Wife."

"No word analysing right now."

"No. Let's do this one." The last one had been gumption, which in relation to their life meant very little.

Kyoya sighed. "Alright."

"Oh. Do sound enthused to some extent. You're reading a novel..." She put it on the table. "...it means you've finished your work today to the best of your ability, checked it a bazillion times and are now free for leisure."

"A bazillion?" Sweeping generalisation.

"Yes. A WHOLE bazillion."

"Your very good at reading me."

"Yes. And you're very good at reading boring books."

Kyoya raised his eyebrows. He thought that Chaucer was good. She found him long winded. "Okay. Wife."

"Why does that word make me feel bored?"  
"Because when you get married your life ends."

"No it doesn't."

"No, it doesn't, but society would like you to think so."

"Society lies." Pause. Yuuki watched as Kyoya began to speak and got in first. "No. Society doesn't lie about fashion. Leave the shirt alone."

"Its my shirt."

"Okay. Society lies. But I like this lie." She picked at a lose thread. "Maybe it's because marriage seems...boring. Or, I thought it seemed boring until I met you. George Orwell said that all the excitement ends once someone proposes."

"Are you still excited?"

Yuuki grinned. "Yes."

"Then what's wrong with the word?"

"The stereotype."

"We discussed this. We aren't stereotypes." They were different. They were them. Just as, just is, just forever. "I told you nothing would change."

"But you'll see so much more of me."  
"I have to work. And you'll be at university and riding."

"I'll see less of you?" Her tone was slightly desperate.

Kyoya ran a hand over the top of her head. "No. Even if I saw you every single minute of every single day, I wouldn't get sick of you."  
"Yeah. Well, you'll never test that theory. You have to sleep, eat, shower..."

"All of which I can do with you."

Yuuki ducked her head in a shy manner. "Okay. Nuff word analysing." Her voice got lost in his shoulder. She didn't like that part of the _wife_ discussion. She liked the being with him bit, just not the _being with him_ bit. Not yet. Still to close for comfort. Personal bubble getting sensitive.

"You're going to have to think about it sooner or later."  
"I would rather later." Her face was still pressed against him in a vain attempt at hiding from him.

"Would you rather freak out later?"  
Nodding.

"Would you rather freak out now and get used to the idea?"  
Shaking of head.

"Get used to the idea?"

"I like theories better. Means no one has to actually put them into practice. Idea's are grown up theories."

"And you're a grownup."  
"Am not."

Kyoya smiled. "A passionate celibacy is all we can look forward to."

"There's nothing wrong with this."

"No, there isn't."

"How did we reach this topic? I don't like this topic."

"You started married talk. This is married talk."

"I don't like married talk."

"Yes you do."

Pause. "Yes I do."

"Just not this married talk."

"Just not this married talk, no."

"Talk about it later?"  
"No."  
Soft laugh. "It's like you skipped hormone school."

"I have hormones. They're just confused." Yuuki sat up and leaned back. She looked rather small and shy. "I mean...it's not like I don't want to. I'm just scared to."

"Me too."

She stared at him. "Pfft. Yeah right. You're a guy."

"And that means?"

"You're a guy. Duh."

"Guys get worried."

"You don't worry."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "Of course I worry. Its human nature."

"When we met, you didn't have a human nature."

"I do now."

Yuuki pulled the paperclip out of her hair. "Do you ever think about what we would have been like if I hadn't fallen off that day? Or if I hadn't even come to Ouran?"

"No."

"You don't ever imagine life any different?"  
"I don't want to."

"Why?"  
"Because, it couldn't be better."

"Yeah. You just have a fiancé whose petrified of the sex talk, let alone...okay. Whatever. And who has a theory that all children under five smell like boiled peas."

"I have a fiancé who has had a life where intimacy was not discussed or even relevant and who makes me laugh. There wasn't much laughter before you."

Yuuki gasped in a dramatically excited manner, she'd seen an episode of _Gilmore Girls_ on cable TV once and loved their conversation. She tried to mimic it. "Oh, was there lots of scowling and hate and tofu?" She failed.

"Tofu?"

"I was trying to use the three parts rule but only had two options that popped into my head quick enough."

"Two that were relevant."

"Yes."

"Tofu came from where?"  
"The vast chasm that is my mind." She made a huge arm movement above her head and near decapitated him.

Kyoya liked her mind, it never ceased to amaze and confuse him. There were not many things that amazed or confused him. Yuuki was a mystery. The greatest game ever. The one that lasted to infinity without getting boring. She sat and stared at him, wondering why he had picked her. Her above every other girl that he could have had. He picked the one who would have happily lived in a convent just to avoid the one part of marriage she was scared of. Anyone being that close scared her. Giving something that she couldn't ever get back scared her. Not being good enough scared her. And he seemed to understand in the strange manner he possessed. The one that somehow was compatible with hers. Kyoya was her perfect fit. It just worked and didn't need words. Sometimes a perfect fit isn't perfect, sometimes the colour is wrong or you put it on backwards; but the knowledge that it's just right is always there. They were just right. They just were. Accepting, honouring, respecting. In all areas of life, not just the ones they had set boundaries for. Whether he liked it or not, Kyoya would have to acknowledge the fact that Yuuki was going to buy him clothes and then wear them.

-

When Hikaru and Kaoru found out that the host club was holding a Halloween party, they took it upon themselves to designate costumes. The whole group was in the Hitachiin studio, where the main business and design occurred for the fashion moguls. The room was lined with red dress and suit bags, all containing outfits that people would one day marvel at. Near the huge wall window was a neat row of desks holding laptops and a couple displaying sewing machines. In the middle of the room, a few steps away from a convenient, yet stylish, kitchenette was a set of couches. This is where the group had congregated. Some were sitting, most were standing. Hunny was eating cake.

"Mori." Twin one threw a suit bag at the man. "You're going as a 'brother bear' with Hunny..." Another bag went flying. "...will be the 'baby bear' that sits on your shoulders."

Tamaki loved it. "It's exactly how we described them at the host club! Only this time the guests won't have to use their imagination!"

"Tamaki." Twin two pegged a costume at him. "You're going as the Pied Piper."

"And I can make all the girls follow me with my beautiful music!" Haruhi hit him over the head. The blonde stared at her, stunned. Then something clicked and he hugged her. "No, dear Haruhi. I won't fawn over them. They will fawn over me! I have my woman now! A perfect, beautiful, smart, delicate...."

His fiancé put on a tolerant look and let him affectionately mug her.

"Kyoya. Vampire." Twin two handed him his outfit.

The Ootori stared at the bag. "I'll pick my own costume."

"No. As part of the Hitachiin Fashion Empire, it is our duty to choose outfits for you! And if we do, you don't have to pay for them. They just need to be back in time for the winter display photo shoot." They tugged his sensitive string.

It wasn't so sensitive. "I should hope not. I'm already paying for most of the party, seeing as the host club's funds only extend into the school itself. The new club offered to pay, as they will be attending, but cannot seeing as they would host the event themselves if they could afford such an expense. They will be paying for the 'learning experience' instead." Once a Shadow King, always a Shadow King. The new Ouran High School Host Club did not have a type like Kyoya's, but did have another Tamaki. Thus their funds disappeared swiftly.

"Just wear the costume." Twin one threatened.

"Please?" Twin two.

Kyoya pushed up his glasses, leaned on one leg and put his hand on his hip. A silent gesture of consideration leaning towards approval.

"Sweet." The twins grinned in victory.

"And you?" Yuuki asked from her place in the vast Hitachiin studio. "What are you wearing?"

"We..." Twin one said triumphantly.

"Are going as..." Twin two seemed very pleased.

They held aloft their outfits and spoke in unison. "As Mario and Luigi from the Super Mario Brothers!" They then proceeded to make Nintendo noises.

Haruhi looked somewhat confused. "Your line includes ancient game characters?"

"No." Hikaru scoffed. "These we made ourselves."

Kaoru pressed his head to his brothers. "So that we could look the same."

"Well. Mission accomplished." The girl said flatly.

There was a silence before the pair exploded again. "AH! But our outfits are not the best."

"Surprisingly." Hikaru spoke out. They went in unison again. "Yours are!" They held their hands out to the women in the room.

Yuuki scratched her head and looked somewhat uneasy. Haruhi just stared. She knew it had been coming. It was inevitable.

There was a long silence before the twins spoke again. "Don't you want to know what they are?" Obviously they were going as a pair.

The Cunxin sighed in acceptance. "You want to tell us and we have no objection to hearing it."

No extra encouragement was needed. The Hitachiin's were grinning mischievously. "Fortunately for you, our mother has very close ties with _Victoria's Secret_..."

Yuuki did an about turn and went for the door. Hikaru grabbed her shirt. She kept walking but the exit didn't get any closer. Kaoru had to catch Haruhi as she tried to do the same thing.

"No. We won't get you to wear their outfits." The laughed. "But the wings we got on a loan. You'll wear the new set of Angel Wings before they hit the runway."

The wings were notoriously large and extravagant. Yuuki turned around and smoothed the now crumpled lowed part of her shirt. "You can't even get those wings through a doorway."

"We didn't take the big ones..." Hikaru floated to the other side of the room and picked up a large box. Upon opening it, he held aloft a pair of white, feathered wings that were splayed outwards as if in flight. The other pair was bent down slightly, but were larger and had the same effect. The girls stared blankly as two white dresses were put up in front of them.

"I'll choose my own outfit." Yuuki decided to steal Kyoya's idea.

"You'll look so cute!" Tamaki was holding Haruhi by her shoulders. "Are there halo's?"  
Kaoru held one up. Haruhi stared. The twins put their heads together and set their eyes to compassionate. "Please?"

The girl looked at them, then at her fiancé, then at the wings, then at her fiancé. "Whatever." She growled.

Everyone turned to Yuuki. The Cunxin raised her hands. "No."

"Why?"  
"To ostentatious."

"Oh come on. Kyoya's going as a vampire. One of the undead." Tamaki let Haruhi go and turned to the other girl. "You can save his soul and take him to heaven with you."

"Tamaki. That was a very lame line. Go work for Hallmark."

Hunny took one of the halo's from twin two and climbed the girl, setting it on her head. "You look so cute Yuu-chan!" She took it off. Hunny grabbed it and put it back on. She took it off. He put it back on. "Please Yuu-chan?"

Yuuki stared. The twins played their final card. "If you don't, then we'll announce your engagement at the party." Everyone knew they would.

The girl snatched the outfit and growled. Kyoya pushed his glasses up. Her stubborn nature never lasted. Very quickly people were learning to push further than she could go. She didn't like to disappoint. The man wrapped an arm around her, showing those in the room that they would have to deal with him if they ever pushed too hard. Yuuki stood still in his grip; she didn't need his help. But she would accept it.

The girl breathed. "You're opening the doors." She gauged how wide the wings were.

Kyoya laughed softly. "Alright." She'd already saved him before. He would do the same; in the few ways he knew how.

-

_I will never let you fall_

_I'll stand up with you forever_

_I'll be there for you through it all_

_Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

_(Guardian Angel, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)_

_-_

"She ain't got no money in the bank!" Someone sang from across the preparation room. The old host club was using the Third Music room with the new host club in order to prepare for the evening. The room downstairs was being finished under the competent eye of a Vampire.

"He's American." A junior leaned on the couch Yuuki was sitting on. "The girls love him. He's the _Trendy Type_. Sweetest guy you'll ever meet."

The girl looked at the young man dressed in Samurai cosplay. "The Tamaki."

The blonde was sitting beside her. "I'm not like that. He's not a prince."

"No." Yuuki started to put mascara on, her compact held aloft. "He's a king."

Tamaki retreated to his corner. The girl glanced at him over her mirror. He'd recover in time. She promptly poked herself in the eye with the mascara brush and blinked violently. Make-up was one of those things she could do, but didn't do often. Fortunately Hikaru and Kaoru vacated the change room and told the girls that their outfits were ready for them. Yuuki and Haruhi steered for the privacy and quiet of the room, the former needing some help as her distance perception had been impaired through the temporary loss of an eye.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow." Yuuki looked up and blinked. Her eyes were watering and the mascara was not waterproof. "I hate mascara. I hate mascara. I hate mascara."

Haruhi grabbed the flailing girls hands and looked into her eye. It was not mascara that was causing pain, it was a dislodged eyelash covered in the black goo. She got it out for her friend who stood, disoriented in the middle of the room.

"I hate mascara."

"Learn to put it on better." Haruhi laughed.

"Yeah. Shut up." Yuuki smiled. "Alright. Which is mine, which is yours?"  
"Dibs the smaller wings."

"I'm shorter."

"Never thought I'd ever hear someone say that to me."  
"Yes. Well. I am shorter. I get the smaller wings."

"Means you wear the shorter dress." It wasn't short, but it was shorter. An inch above the knee more than the other.

Pause. Silence. "I'm going to kill them."

"I'll help."

"Alright."

The pair unhooked their costumes and put them on. Haruhi looked rather angelic, Yuuki looked rather pissed. She'd almost ripped her hair out putting the wings on and she gave up completely on the halo.

"I don't do this dress up thing. I never did. I never wanted to."

Haruhi looked up and helped the girl zip herself up. "Neither did I. But if you don't do it and if you don't stop complaining then I'll tell the twins and they'll tell the room..."

"Oh. No. Don't. Please. I'll be good."

Haruhi laughed. "What's so bad about it?"  
"The attention."

"You're in magazines."

"No. But that's different. You don't see how people react."

"Alright. Well, you can't escape this." Pause. "Your hair is so wavy."

Yuuki ran her fingers through the dark mass. "Yeah, and yours is so cute."

"I like my hair short. It's easy. But your hair is great long. But it's not too long. I like it." The girl turned Yuuki around and unstuck the stray strands from where they had caught the wings. "Except when it's trying to fly away. Pun intended."

"That was lame. Tamaki's rubbing off on you."  
Haruhi smiled. "Yeah. I guess. Only I do it in a more academic manner." Pause. "Oh yes. I need the maid of honour and the best man at the next fitting. Trying to colour coordinate."

"Isn't he just wearing a tie the colour of my dress?" Yuuki put her shoes on.

"Yes. But you need to have the dress cut to match him. Not just the colour to match you."

The girl waved a hand.

Haruhi put her shoes on too. "You have to do all this too. Really soon. If you plan for September...we got engaged a few months after you left and it took until now to plan it."

Yuuki looked honestly shocked. "What?"

"Yes. There's a lot to do."

"Oh my gosh. Shoot."

"You're scared to do it?"  
"Yes. When Kyoya wanted to talk sooner rather than later I thought later because I didn't have to think about it." She ran a hand through her hair and groaned.

"You want to marry him though?"  
"Yes. More than anything."

"Could you wait two years to plan it?"  
Silence. No. She couldn't. She just wanted to be with him as his, not just as a companion but as part of him. "No."

"Then...I'll help you." She'd been the same, only with more time.

"Oh, would you?"

"Yes."

Yuuki hugged her friend. "Thank you."

Haruhi tried to hug back but almost impaled her hand on the costume.

-

The party started. Old students came to see the old Host Club. New Students came to see the old and the new. The new boys played their parts very well, dancing with as many girls as possible and saying sweet things that made them squeal. The old boys played a more sophisticated game with their older partners. They discussed travel, money, the future. They danced closer and stared deeper. Only, it still meant nothing romantic to them. It was just a way of making people smile.

Kyoya and Tamaki were a little lax in the game, they were not as enthused as they would have been had they both been single. They already had the girl they wanted and no other would ever suffice.

"Haruhi's such an angel." Tamaki crossed his arms and leaned against the wall he and his friend were standing by. The feather in his hat bobbed slightly. "Pun intended."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You have four months. Scared?"

"Are you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I've never done anything without making sure it's perfect. Nothing could be more perfect."

"Yuuki brings your family no merit. Your business no profit. Your stress levels no lowering." Tamaki said smugly.

Kyoya glanced at his friend and smiled. "And that's why she's perfect. She's human. She brings _me_ profit, not the business. She's mine and the first person I've ever belonged to." Not even his family could do that.

"And she makes you smile for real." The man placed his elbow in his friend's ribs.

The Ootori scowled. "And to think, we were both supposed to marry Haruhi."

"Well. I won there."  
"Did you?"

"I won for me."

Kyoya put a hand on his hip. "Do any of the girls in the room have any idea that we're both taken now?"

"Nope." Tamaki smiled mischievously. "Though, I'm sure the twins will enlighten them in due time."

"The girls won't like that." Kyoya's tone was flat.

"Hm..." The blonde knew there would be a lot of comforting near heart attacks tonight. Especially when his fiancé was attacked by jealous girls dressed as mythical beings. Speaking of which. The pair took the opportunity to spot their lovers across the room and swiftly escaped to their sides. "Hello darling." Tamaki cooed as he welcomed Haruhi to his side. "We were just talking about you."

"I hope you were saying good things." The girl smiled sweetly.

"Hey." Yuuki said as she tried to fight her dress. It flowed a little too much for something its length.

Kyoya took her hand. "Stop it."

"No. It's annoying."

"You're being annoying."

"You're being annoying."

"You're being a child."

"You didn't say hello."  
Kyoya smiled. "Hello."

"Better." She kissed him lightly. "Are we drinking cosmos? Marie Antoinette is in the room somewhere."

"You're not drinking anything of the like."

"And you?"

"Driving."

"You did a great job on the room by the way." The high windows looked over a valley of naked trees that looked spooky under the stars. There were candles down the stairs and hanging from the ceiling. Soft lights shone down on the three bouquets at the base of the stairs and on a suit of armour near the door. "Classily spooky."  
"We have that effect on most people."  
"Yeah."

"Yes." He corrected.

"Whatever."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. Yuuki scowled. "Okay. Yes." She lengthened the 's' to annoy him.

"You're a pretty little wall flower tonight." He said back.

"Dancing isn't my thing."

"What about dancing with me?"  
"That's different."

"Dance with me then."

"You're a vampire."

"I am." He grinned.

Yuuki peered at the points in his mouth. "Scary." She said mockingly. "You are an Ootori though. You didn't need to dress up in order to freak people out."

Kyoya took her hand. "Shhh." He tucked her close to him and entered the throng of dancers. "Just relax. I haven't seen you today."

"Aw. Did you miss me?"  
"Yes." Admitting things to her wasn't difficult. He enjoyed it. It allowed him to be a part of her.

"I missed you too." Yuuki said quietly and let her face sit close beside his. "When we get married, you're going to have to take lots of sick days."  
"I have to work, Yuuki." He said back, just as quietly.

"And I'll have to go to university."

"You were serious about that?"  
"I was."

"I'm glad."

"Mmm." She would ride Zero at Grand Prix Events, but she would not ride to win. She would do it because she loved riding, not because she loved eventing.

Kyoya slid his hand up to the base of the wings. "These uncomfortable?"

"Are your teeth things?"

"Yes."

"Yeah. Mine too."

"Just warning you. The plan the twins had to make you wear this, is going to fail." Kyoya whispered coyly.

"What?" Yuuki pulled her face to look at his full. "They...what?"

The man nodded.

The girl looked worried, all the Kyoya-fans. All the girls who planned to marry him. Renge was even there somewhere. Marrying Kyoya had been her dream for so long. "I'm going to die."

"You're well equipped for it."

"That's not funny."

The Ootori squeezed her hand. "Well, its not like you would have told anyone."

"Yes. But..."

"This way people will know without effort. News will spread...."  
"People will like you more and your income will increase incredibly."  
Kyoya laughed quietly. She was getting good at this. "Yes. I'll let you use the profits for the wedding."

"It can't be a big wedding."

He pulled a face.

"What?"  
"Well..." He ran his thumb over the top of her hand. "...At an Ootori wedding, every business partner is invited. And their wives. And children. As well as this, high ranking families from across the world attend in order to maintain a good relationship for future developments."

Yuuki stared. "You're joking, right?"

"I don't joke."  
"No. You don't."

He smiled.

"Stop enjoying this."

"Hmm."

"Stop it."  
"Oh. Think of the outcome."  
"Yeah. All that money..."

He pinched her hand. "Don't be droll."

She smiled at him. "Try me."

"You're awfully nervous tonight." His job had been to make ladies happy, he could tell when they were fidgety without them picking their outfit to pieces.

"Yes. I talked to Haruhi about getting married."

"Ah."  
"Ah indeed." Pause. "So help me."

"You want this. I want this. What's wrong?"  
"People. Attention. Planning things."

"The second former is really what's worrying you."

"Yes." She pressed her head into the curve of his neck. "I hope the twins don't tell."

As if on cue, the pair appeared on the stairs and called everyone to attention. Yuuki groaned and tried to disappear. She knew something like that would happen. Kyoya pushed his glasses up and turned her so that she became part of the crowd. Everyone was turned for the announcement.

"As you all know, the old host club is here with the new one." The twins spoke in unison. "And as you all know, we have all spent a great amount of time delighting young ladies." There was cheerful clapping. "However. In the course of life, one lady is often chosen." There was dead silence and then vague chatter. Yuuki heard some girls declaring that their hosts could never be taken, they were theirs. She wanted to run away. "This has happened. Two of the old hosts are now engaged." Dramatic pause. "Haruhi, the girl version, is marrying Tamaki Suoh." There was a sharp inhalation as girls across the room turned their glares on the blonde and the brunette. The girl was staring viciously at the twins who continued their speech. "And the other is our very own Shadow King with Yuuki Cunxin." The pair extended their arms to where the couple stood. Grinning as if they had played the best game in the world.

Yuuki gripped her fiancé's arm. The whole room had turned to look at them. To glare at her for taking him. Kyoya smiled in a friendly manner and wrapped an arm around her waist. There was dead silence. And then a cry of anguish.

"It can't be!" Girls wailed. "Kyoya professed his love to me! Tamaki told me I was his only one!"

The other couple quickly joined the Ootori and co. "Ah. Well." The blonde said, somewhat flushed from being grabbed by girls who begged him to reconsider. "That's..."

"I'm going to kill them." Kyoya's smile vanished. Several woman had approached him and told him to not go through with such a 'stupid endeavour', their families were better suited to an alliance with his. All the merit of having been a host had disappeared through such a blunt telling of his status.

Yuuki had gone pale. Like a sheet. "I...um. Need...air."

"I need to leave." Haruhi said and began to drag Tamaki to the door. She promptly caught one of the blondes biggest fans in the face with one of her wings. Soon they were gone and the other pair were vanished.

The Cunxin leant on the balcony and stared down at the garden below. She inhaled. "Stage fright. Stage fright. Stage fright. Hold me."

Kyoya did the best he could with the wings. "They were to blunt."

"Go figure." The twins had done the whole build of tension thing.

"Oh my gosh. People hate me."

The man laughed, she was so worried it was slightly cute. "They don't hate you."

"They still love you. They really hate me." Not listening.

"Yuuki. How could anyone hate you?"  
She turned around to face him. In frustration she pulled the wings off and dropped them. Her revenge against the twins. _Victoria's Secret_ could go without a set of angels for one season. "You were smiling. How could you have been smiling. Why were you smiling?"

"Just maintaining an impression."

"You're not a host anymore!"  
"You're overreacting. Your engagement was just announced. Be happy you don't have to do it."

"I would have done it better. In a subtler manner."

"Maybe. If at all."

"I'm not that bad."

"Yes you are."  
"Well, you don't help."

"Because you need to do it yourself."  
"Why? I'm not marrying you. We're getting married. This is a two person, equality deal."

"This isn't a deal, it's a choice. Stop freaking out." He put his hand behind her head and pulled it gently to rest on his shoulder. "A lot of things happened on this balcony."

Yuuki put a hand where her head had been and peeked at the setting. "I liked it better in the snow." She didn't feel the bitter chill of almost winter. She felt a bitter chill to the twins.

"Me too." Kyoya distracted her by pressed his mouth to her neck.

The girl felt the fake teeth press against her skin and she shivered. "That's really creepy."

"Mmm..." He did it again.  
Yuuki turned her head and met his mouth with her own. "Okay. That's really weird."

"You're distracted though." He said softly, his breath warm on her skin. "You're feeling better."

"Yeah."

"Yes." Kyoya corrected gently.

"Whatever." Yuuki kissed the hollow behind the corner of his jaw. "I don't like the fake teeth. Like gilded butterflies. Why try to make it different? It was already wonderful."

Kyoya smiled and unattached the fake canines and held them in his palm. "something that small rubs you backwards."

"Yes."

"I wasn't referring to the teeth."

"The announcement was no small matter."

"It can be if you want it to be."

She said against his neck. "I don't want starburst or diamond halls, I just want you." Anne of Green Gables, a personal favourite.

"Then settle for that. Accept the other things that happen."

"How can you go with the flow?"  
"I don't, not unless it profits me."  
"No. I know that."

"It's better. The girls will tell their fathers who have no problem in my marrying someone else and they will wish us well."

Yuuki sighed. "Whatever."

Kyoya laughed and ran a hand over her head, through her hair and came to rest on the skin behind her neck. "Just let it happen. I love you. I wouldn't do it unless it profited you too."

"Really?"

"Last time I did something that involved you and didn't consider your merit, you ended up in London."

"Oh."

"Yes."

"Sorry."

"I should be the one apologising."

She shook her head. "Don't. I don't like that part of life. Let's just leave it. Let's just be. Please."

"Okay."

"I love how you agree with me."

"Not always."

"I'm not expecting a trend." Yuuki smiled. "Just don't let go." She was still nervous from her sudden attack by angry, jealous eyes.

"Okay." Kyoya used moved the hand that was around her waist and cradled her face with it. He kissed her slowly. He liked the way she breathed against him when he did. He liked how she returned the favour and rested her hand at the base of his neck and the other against his chest. It was comfortable. Compatible. They just worked, even coming out of an awkward situation.

Yuuki felt her breath catch as the hand Kyoya had behind her neck slid to her back. He brushed his fingers over the skin on her shoulder blades before pulling away from her. She had tensed up, but not for his getting a little to roguish or pressing in to close, she knew he wouldn't do anything she was uncomfortable with or not ready for. It was because someone had cried out from the window onto the balcony.

The pair looked at the lit up dance room. In the glass door that lead to the balcony stood a colony of angry girls. They were all placed behind a naughty looking Hikaru and Kaoru. Yuuki went scarlet and swore in German. Kyoya kept his arm around his fiancé and moved toward the door, making sure to 'accidentally' stand on the wings as he did so. Yuuki was telling him she didn't want to go inside. He was telling her to calm down, he was right beside her.

When the door opened a whole bunch of the girls began to speak at once. The Cunxin finally gathered her courage. "Alright. Alright. Stop...SHUT UP." The girls stared at her, stunned. "Kyoya was a host when you knew him. His professions of love were to please you. Ever think about how he told _all _of you how beautiful you are? I mean, come on. Surely you knew it was a game. A game for the rich and bored. Can't you just be happy that he's happy?"

"How can he be happy with you?" A girl dressed as a cat said uppishly.

"How can I be happy with you?" Kyoya's voice was cool. "Ladies. You are all beautiful..." He played host. "...wonderful, talented. All in your own way. What I told you was not a lie. But what I told you I did not mean from a relationship point of view. I understand you are upset. But I'm not."

Yuuki pressed against his side as another girl, one dressed as a mermaid, spoke up. "But she's not even upper class by birth."

The Cunxin stood tall. "He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman's daughter. So far we are equal."

"Not a gentleman by birth though." Came the snarky reply.  
Yuuki sighed. "Can't you all just grow backbones and be happy? Congratulate the couple. We are happy. We are in love. That won't ever change."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I put him in the worst circumstance ever. I put myself through hell because of him, and at the end, we hadn't stopped loving him. Not even a bit. Because, in all the world, there has never been a person I would ruin my life for or go to for help even though I was furious and upset at him." Silence. "This is how it's happened. Can't you just...get over it? This isn't High School anymore." Yuuki suddenly felt very tired. "Hikaru and Kaoru didn't tell you in a manner that we would have liked, and thus are not in our good books."

There was soft laughter and a few girls dispersed. The few that remained disappeared as Kyoya put his mouth to Yuuki's ear and told her that she had done well, a true speech from a frustrated woman. She turned and smiled at him, still annoyed. The Ootori turned to the twins. "You're going to pay."

"No." Hikaru stared at the broken wings. "You're going to pay for those."

"I think not my friends." Came the reply.

"Aw, don't be mad. It was fun, ne?"

"No, it was not. It was not how we would have done it and it is our wedding."

Sighs in unison. "It was still fun." Pause. "Can we say sorry?"

"How?"

"We'd like to take you out. Now."

"Now?" Kyoya glanced at his watch. "I have to speak to my father before he goes away tomorrow morning."

"Then we'll take Yuuki out."

The girl clutched Kyoya. "No. Please, no. I'm still mad at them."

The man looked down at her. "I think it will be good if you see things from their perspective."

"I will not go out with Mario and Luigi."

The twins laughed and took their hats and moustaches off. "There. Happy? We're just men in overalls now."

Yuuki stared at Kyoya. "No."

"Yes." He said quietly. "They wont hurt you. It will do you good to get in touch with the side you'll have to retaliate against in the future."

Yuuki turned to the twins, they were grinning sweetly, apologetically. "Um..."

"Go." There was an encouraging hand on her back. "I'll see you tomorrow after you've done Zero."

"Okay." The girl nodded and took Hikaru's outstretched hand. "Okay. But I'm still mad at them."

"We know." The twins said as they headed for the door. "We'll make you forget." The games were not over yet.

-

Kyoya had arrived home just before eleven and had spoken to his father about business for an hour. He was the only one up at one when there was a knocking at the door. When he opened it a figure fell heavily against him. They had obviously been leaning against the door and when it had been taken away, their weight had tried to transfer onto air and promptly headed south. Whoever it was, was wearing a pair of broken angel wings, picked up from their place on a dejected balcony. The twins stood in the doorway and grinned as if they had just taken first prize.

Yuuki groaned and gripped the front of Kyoya's shirt. The Ootori stared at her and then at the twins. "She's drunk!" He roared.

The girl's grip lessened and she slid into a slurred heap on the floor. "Its sooooooooo bloody awful."

Twin one shrugged. "She thought that we'd given her Maison." Twin two joined the gesture. "But it was really Champaign."

"You didn't tell her?!" Kyoya stepped towards the pair who raised their hands in defence.

"We didn't want too." Their new game had finally been played and won.

"How many did she have?"

"Surprisingly, just one." They said, cocking their heads at the disoriented girl. "She's not very tolerant to alcohol."

"Probably because she's never had it before!" Kyoya went to reach for them but was distracted by a shuffling behind him. Yuuki had disappeared down the hall and flung open the door to the nearest room. She shut it and tried the next one. And the next. The Ootori went to the first door, opened it and called her. "Through the back." It was a study, there was a bathroom at the back.

Yuuki flung herself into the room. Kyoya stared at the front door and almost exploded as the twins smiled and shut the door. In his rage he stormed into the bathroom and stood accusingly at the door as his fiancé lost her lunch and dinner to her state. She was obviously miserable.

"Oh, how are the mighty fallen." He said smugly. Not pleased.

The girl groaned and flushed the toilet before pulling her wings off again. She couldn't even remember how they got back on. Kyoya knelt in front of her. "You didn't know?"

She shook her head.

"Promise?"

She nodded.

"Not happy?"

More nodding. Turning slightly green. Needing the toilet again. The twins were obviously good at their new game. Kyoya pulled her hair back and sat on the tiled floor. After a few minutes Yuuki was sitting in a crumpled heap. "They said shorry. And they said they would take me to dinner. And I was very hungry. I didn't want to drink it, but they told me no alco...alcohol. So I drinked it cause I was thirsshty. And..."

"You only had one?"

Nodding.  
"You're never drinking again. You got sloshed on one." Kyoya laughed.

Yuuki scowled. "Why you laughing?"  
"Because, you're ridiculous."

"Am not."  
"You're so fragile and you don't even realise it."

The girl collapsed against him. "You smell sooo good. Like peppermint."

"And you smell like vomit."

"Thatsh not very nice."

Short silence. "I wish I could have stopped it."

"Well. Me too. But you couldn't because I'm already drunk." Her sentences didn't make much sense.

"Okay." Kyoya scooped her off the floor. "Let's get you into bed."

"Don't take advantage of me." Yuuki let her head fall heavily against him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I will." Flat, serious reply.

"Okay." Pause. "Wait..."

Kyoya kissed her head. He needed to teach her a lesson. He was still furious inside. The twins got her drunk for fun. It wasn't fun. Not for her, not for him. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle."

"Nooo." Yuuki shook her head. "No. No. I want to go home." She began to wriggle.

"No."

"No. No. Uhuh."

"You said okay."

"I didn't."

"You did. You put yourself in this situation."

"I didn't mean to." She tried to struggle free of his grip. The spare bedroom was awful close. "Kyoya...no..." Her voice was slurred.

The man didn't say anything for a minute and let her try to fight him. He was a lot stronger than she was, and a lot larger. He was the one in control. "Learnt your lesson?"

Yuuki stopped trying to take her shoe off to hit him with. "Huh?"  
"Don't ever get into this situation again." Kyoya's tone was hard.

"Oh. You was just playin'." She smiled. Suddenly her face was stern. "Don't do that."

"I wasn't playing. I was being serious." He opened the door to the spare room, balancing her in his arms as he did so.

"You wouldn't..." She pulled her shoes off and held them up as weapons.

"No. I wouldn't. But you're lucky I'm not that sort of boyfriend. Others wouldn't be so fortunate." He balanced her again; thankful that she was light, and pulled the covers back before sliding her in and pulling them back up. He took her shoes and put them on the floor. "Go to sleep, Yuuki." His tone was hard. He was obviously fuming inside, as if he had lost a game.

"'Kay." The girl smiled drunkenly. "Will I have a headache?"  
"Probably."

"Will you wake me up?"

"Yes."

"Will you rub it in?"

"Defiantly." Lessons needed to be finished.

"No...don't...."

"Stop talking. Go to sleep."

Silence. "I'm shorry. I had NO idea."

"It's okay."

"You won't rub it in then?"  
"No. I will."

"Nooooo...."

"Yuuki. Go to sleep." He had some revenge planning to do.

What she had said earlier about them being mad and not loving each other less was really true. He was mad at her for getting drunk, even unintentionally. It was stupid and irresponsible. But he didn't love her any less. Kyoya found himself wanting to protect her more. He wanted to marry her sooner, to be there for her when she didn't know she was in trouble. He wanted to love her. He did love her, but he wanted to love her more. He wanted to give her more. It was a constant need. The more she gave him, the more the Ootori wanted to give in return. She was gifting him. Giving him strength when he didn't know he needed it. Yet, when Yuuki had needed him, he had been busy with work. He hadn't been able to help her, prevent the worst from happening. Kyoya sat on the end of the bed and watched her sleep herself into a hangover. Even in an intoxicated state, she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Not because she was physically lovely, but because she just was lovely. She just was. Just as they just were, Yuuki was beautiful because she was perfect. Flawed to shine. Enough to make him want her more. To be closer to her than he had ever been before and continue to progress even deeper as eternity stretched out before them.

-

_I knew that we belonged together  
Long before I knew your name  
And the only thing I longed for  
Was a sign to prove you felt the same_

Somehow I knew your every secret  
Just by looking in your eyes  
From the very moment I met you  
I was thinking of the rest of our lives

Just say to me

I'm gonna love you 'til the end of the time  
Somehow two hearts have made a friend of time  
Eternity, eternity is on our side

I'm not afraid to say forever  
You have made me feel so sure  
'Cause I know it's everlasting  
And I've never had this feeling before

Keep telling me

I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time  
Somehow two hearts have made a friend of time  
Eternity, I'll love you for eternity

Caught in the tide  
And it brought me to you  
And now I know that dreams come true

I'm gonna love you 'til the end of time  
Somehow two hearts have made a friend of time  
Eternity, eternity, is on our side

I'm gonna love 'til the end of time  
Somehow two hearts have made a friend of time  
Eternity, eternity, is on our side  
Eternity, I'll love you for eternity

_(Eternity, Dreams Come True)_

_-_

---------------

_Yay! I'm back! Miss me?_

_Hope no one has lost interest. _

_The shirt thing was one of my many experiences from my trip. As was Mario and Luigi. And 'she ain't got no money in the bank.' And the poking of one's self in the eye with mascara. ^-^_

_I have so many muses I can twist for this story; what better inspiration for a story about life than life itself? _

_Anyway, please review. I really value your input. If you have any questions about me or the story or anything, please don't hesitate to ask._

_Blessings, _

_-pp _


	22. Chapter 20

**-**

**Chapter 20**

**-**

Of course Kyoya gave Yuuki hell the morning she woke up with a mild hangover. More so because he had woken up first, which meant she had slept into the afternoon and Tachi had to come exercise Zero. The girl spent two hours that evening with her horse, trying to apologise in some, small way. She loved him. Keeping the animal on a property different to the one she lived on was proving difficult.

"I miss you boy." She said quietly as she put him away for the evening. "This time next year though, I'll probably be on the same property as you. And Kyoya." The horse's ears twitched at the name. "Oh. Get used to it. I love you, but you're not my lover." Zero pressed his face into her chest and the girl hugged it, playing his game. The animal tugged away from her and snorted in glee. "Ew. No. New shirt." An hour after changing her clothes, she and Kyoya had to be in the city with Haruhi at the wedding dress store.

The bride was standing in front of Yuuki as she balanced on a podium. Her head still throbbed slightly, as if she were recovering from concussion. "Are you alright? You look kind of sick." Haruhi said as someone pinned the other girl's dress.

Kyoya appeared from his change room. "Hikaru and Kaoru played their new game on her last night."

"Oh." Soft smile. "Yes. I don't remember that game."

"No, you wouldn't." He took the tie a fitter offered him and put it on. "Good?"

"Go stand next to her."

The Ootori went and placed himself by the podium. He had to look up ever so slightly to see Yuuki's face. "You're taller than me for the first time ever. And probably the last."

"Don't get cocky." She was still mad at him for rubbing her little expedition from the night before in. She didn't like his lessons. They made too much sense.

"Oh. Enjoy it. It won't last long." He liked her natural height. It tucked against him well.

Yuuki scowled at him and then looked at Haruhi. "Are we good?"

"Yes. Perfect." The girl said sweetly.

The Cunxin didn't look at Kyoya as he stood smugly beside her. _Perfect. _Yeah. It was. Yuuki just didn't like inflating his ego when hers was lying in a little mess in its shadow. She flinched as a pin went into her and the fabric at the same time. The woman behind her apologised.

"I'm so glad I'm not fitting a wedding dress to you. That sort of fabric is hard to take in." She said.

Yuuki's face fell. "Well...I was planning on coming here for mine."

The woman paused. "You're getting married?"  
"Yes." She could say it now with confidence. If a room full of girls who pledged themselves to a union with Kyoya could accept it without drawing blood, then a stranger could.

"Who to?" The clothing gossip commenced. Kyoya smiled haughtily.

Yuuki pointed silently at her fiancé. She would not give him the dignity of his last name.

The fitter looked up and then between the two. "Now, isn't that sweet? You two will match at your friend's wedding and everything."

"Yeah. Really sweet." Yuuki frowned at him.

Kyoya laughed. "Like campaign."

The girl glared.

"Don't get livid over my statement. It was amusing and you know it."

Yuuki crossed her arms. Haruhi laughed this time. "Oh. Tamaki did the same thing to me. Except in his own way."

"Yes. Did you like it?" The other girl asked.

"No. But it was good for me."

"Ha." Kyoya turned to her. "I-told-you-so."

Yuuki's voice was flat. "I'll tell-you-so in a minute."

"You're being childish. Just accept my help."

"No."

"Do it."

"No."  
"I won't give you paracetamol."

"I can buy some."

"Not when I have your wallet." Kyoya held up the leather pouch.

Yuuki gasped mockingly. "Traitor."

"Now, will you listen to me when I tell you not to drink?"  
The girl dropped her air of stubbornness. "Yes. But you didn't know either." Pause. "Actually, you told me to go." Pause. "This is your fault! Don't go doing your I-told-you-so act when this was all you!"  
"It wasn't all me. You're the one who downed the beverage."

"I thought it was Maison."

"Well, it wasn't."

"Well, it wasn't." Yuuki mocked sarcastically.

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "Yuuki."

"What?"

Pause. "Okay. We both made a mistake. Happy?"

"I am." Haruhi said from across the room. "I'm so telling Tamaki that you admitted to making a mistake."

The Ootori sighed and turned back to his fiancé with an expectant look. Yuuki stared at him. "No, I'm not happy."

"Yes you are."

She smiled. "Okay. Yes I am. You admitted to making a mistake."

"Yes, miracle." Kyoya turned pushed his glasses up. "Are we almost done here?"

"So what's your last name going to be now?" The fitter said, answering the man's question. No. Start another discussion.

Yuuki hesitated. "Ootori."

She got jabbed again. "As in, the Ootori group, Ootori?"

"Yes."

The woman stared at Kyoya. "As in...he's..."  
"Yes."

"As...in...wow."

"Yes. I know, right?" The girl grinned.

Kyoya glanced at her and then leant on one leg, hand on hip. His ego felt nice and inflated. Once an egoist, always an egoist. Even within a demure, silent and calculating nature. Yuuki found his hand and squeezed it. He ran his thumb over the skin on her knuckles and then against her engagement ring. Perfect. Right. Compatible. She brought him back to the ground again, back to a world where more than business and his family name existed. And she saved him in doing so. She gave him air to breath that comprised of life, not numbers. Yuuki gave him a reason to stay in the world and not retire to his own. She gave him a new reality, one where they both existed, one that could not be destroyed. They had tested it with trials, ones that hurt and made them suffer; but in the end he had loved her more. Needed her more. It was proof, eternity existed for some. If one worked at it, it was possible, and obvious even at such an early stage. She was his eternity. And he was hers.

-

_Every now and then I get a little lost  
My strings all get tangled, my wires all get crossed  
Every now and then I'm right up on the edge  
Dangling my toes out over the ledge  
I just thank God you're here_

_-_

An hour after arriving, the trio left the dress shop. Haruhi had to meet Hunny to find the right wedding cake and left in a cab. The Ootori had parked somewhere down the street. Yuuki had a little hole in her shoulder from where she had moved and be jabbed. Again. She was a dress makers nightmare. Standing still was not her greatest talent.

"Stop complaining. It's a pinprick." Kyoya took her hand.

"I still have a headache."

"That's your fault."

"You should have been there."

"You can't rely on me all the time."

"I don't."

Silence. "Alright. If I had been there, would I have thought it was Maison too?"

"You would have been suspicious."  
"Why weren't you?"  
"I was thirsty. They had said sorry like...a million times."

"A million?"  
"A whole million."

Kyoya squeezed her hand. "Then we'll have to get them back a million times over."

Yuuki stared up at him. "Revenge is a dish best served cold."

The man glanced down as they reached his car."Indeed."

"I'm thinking sometime during a wedding reception...where a lot of business executives and upper class, powerful families will have come out to play and gossip."

"Let them drink cosmos." He smiled and unlocked the car. "Just as long as you don't along with them."

Yuuki glared. "Oh, haha."

Kyoya climbed into the car after her and stared out the windshield. "I said I would rub it in."

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Yes."

The girl crossed her arms and didn't correct her speech.

The Ootori started the engine and smiled as they pulled into the traffic. "How do you feel about Alex Perry?"

Yuuki's face turned to delight in an instant. "So pretty..."

"Well, my sister got her wedding dress from there. He designed it for her. My mother told her about our engagement and she told Alex and he wants to design your dress. Said he loved your Vanity Fair shoot and it would be good publicity."

The girl stared. "Alex Perry knows I'm getting married?"  
"Yes. And so do the people at Vogue. They love your fashion sense apparently and want an interview."

"What?"  
"Mmm. I told them you'd love to."  
"What!?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "It'll be good for you."

"No. No. No it won't." The girl twisted in her seat and made a small noise of protest. "No. Kyoya. Ah."

"Calm down. It's just an interview."  
"Why?"  
"Publicity."

"No."

"Yuuki." His tone was flat. Unnegotiable.

"If you want publicity, do it yourself. I don't like..."

"Attention. And if you marry me, you'll get it. So get used to it."

"That's what this is about?"

"And building your confidence in order to actually be able to stay in a normal mental state when trying to tell people about the fact that you're marrying into the Ootori group. That's a big deal. You're going to have to be confident with it."

"I'm confident."

"Yes. Except when you get home from the dress fitters and when you're put in the spotlight."

"A..."

"No negotiation."

"B..."

"No."

"I..."

"Yuuki." Kyoya turned his head to look at her. She was staring at him in horror. The man sighed. "If I do it with you, will you be happy?"  
"No."

"Will you feel better."

"Probably."

"But you won't be happy?"  
"No." Yuuki knew Kyoya was okay with the whole magazine, TV, media kind of thing. He was rich, handsome, smart, powerful. The business world had made him a _Young Star_ and dubbed him the _Rising Fortune of Japan_. The youngest Ootori was not only an heir, but a celebrity through that. He could handle all the talk, the gossip and the rumours. He also knew that as soon as the media caught a hold of the news he was engaged to an Olympian his sphere of fame would explode into the sporting world as well as that of business.

"You know what it's like to be an Ootori. It's like being Donald Trump only without the TV show..."

"And with more hair." Yuuki smiled.

"Yes..." Pause. "As soon as people find out about the engagement, they'll want to know all about you. And the skeletons in your closet. The media wants scandal. By being in Vanity Fair and Vogue you'll put yourself out as Upper Class, comfortably. So when they find out you weren't born that way, no one will judge you...severely. Just mention the Olympics and University. Say things about expensive cars and fashion. Someone's going to think you're a try-hard, but all in all...if your with me, your fine."

"Oh..." Yuuki stared at the looming storm cloud in the distance. "That's...comforting..." Pause. "For the love of all that is good I'm going to kill you. I hate that whole judgemental thing and you just put me right into it. When is this interview?"

"Tomorrow."

The girl looked at him, aghast.

Kyoya laughed quietly. "You'll be fine."

"Ah...hahaha." Yuuki sat back into her seat. "Ha...ha...hm...."

Amused silence.

"Stop enjoying this." She picked at her sleeve.

"You'll adjust. In time."

"Just drive."

"So that's a 'yes', you'll do it?"  
"Do I have a choice?"  
"No. But it's good to know you consent to it anyway."

Yuuki scowled. "I'm never going out with Hikaru and Kaoru again."

Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up. "That is exactly what I wanted to hear."

"Shut up."

"Play nice."

"Shut up."  
"Are you hungry?"  
Pause. Small, slightly defeated voice. "Yes."

It was very hard to stay mad at him, or stay stubborn when he was just as bad. Especially when he made so much sense and so often. Of course Yuuki hated attention, but she could see where he was coming from. When she married him, attention was part of the deal. Whether she liked it or not. If she wanted to be with him, she would have to learn how to deal with that. They could survive not liking something, they could survive. She would be alright. He would help her. He better help her. If he didn't, she would convince him that what he was drinking was maison and give him a twisted sort of amusing hell for a day.

-_  
'Cause when I'm a bullet shot out of a gun  
'Cause when I'm a firecracker comin' undone  
Or when I'm a fugitive ready to run, all wild-eyed and crazy  
No matter where my reckless soul takes me  
Baby you save me_

_-_

That evening the couple were walking through the upper-class boutiques of the inner city. Yuuki was trying very hard to get Kyoya to drink some of her frozen coke. He had refused point blank to go into McDonalds with her to get it and then refused to help her finish it.

"I can't finish it." She held it in his face and walked backwards in front of him. "It's got caffeine in it."

"Shocker."

"Please?"

"No. That's disgusting."

"Have you ever tried one?"

"No, and I don't intend to. Get it out of my face." Kyoya pushed her hand aside. "It's also made you hyper on sugar."

"I'm not hyper. I'm just freezing. Have to keep moving."

"Why did you buy something frozen if it's cold?"  
"Because...its sooo good."

"You're such a child."

"The world's a playground. You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it."

"A child who says some very intelligent things." Kyoya smiled and stopped walking. He knew she would walk into something if she kept moving backwards. She was rather opposite to him in many ways, mostly in the spontaneity category. And that's why he loved her. Because she didn't try to be anything else. Because she just was her and she fit perfectly into the eternity shaped hole in his life.

"Hmmm." She drank some of her coke and then held it aloft again. "Please?"

"No."

"What's so wrong with it? You've had soda before. And I've tried all your foods and they never killed me."

"Unfortunately."

The girl raised her eyebrows and gave him a look that could freeze the sun. Unfortunately he wasn't the sun and probably would never be that warm. So it didn't work. "Oh, come on Kyoya. If there's a McDonalds in a boutique area where most things cost more than a lot of the population's yearly income, then you can try it."

Silence.  
"Please? It will bring you the merit of a new experience?"

Kyoya took the cup. Yuuki beamed in victory. He drank some and then gave it back.

"Yeah?"  
"Yes."

"Yes you liked it?"  
"No. Yes correcting your grammar. Again."

Yuuki scowled.

"It was like drinking processed food colouring."  
"Duh."

"How can you like that?"  
"We have different tastes."

Kyoya scoffed. Yuuki pressed her shoulder into his side as they continued walking. Of course they had different tastes. They weren't clones. They were each people. Don't try to be someone else, you'll find that everyone is taken. The reason they worked was because they were different. She imparted something he had never considered and vice versa. In doing such, untouched parts of their lives were touched. They were fulfilled. They found something to lock into. Something that fit perfectly. A 'just right' fitting never happened in the real world. But it did in theirs. And that's why it worked. Combining two things that had differences and similarities to create something ideal. A something that could be discussed, flexible, feeling, enduring, endearing and private. Their world. Just theirs. One no one could ever understand. It was indescribable.  
"Mm." Yuuki fought a brain freeze. "I want to show you something."

Kyoya took the cup off her and dropped it in a bin they were passing. He ignored her long-suffering look. "Yes?"  
"I want you to meed my mother."

The man could think of one major even that prevented that from happening. "Alright."

Yuuki knew the boutique because it was close to the gardens where her mother had been buried. The gardens she had married her father in. He wouldn't let his wife be buried in the land of her birth; he said that when he died he wanted to be in the same earth as her. The girl lead the way and eventually they arrived at the nigh shrouded gardens.

"I wanted to bring you before." She walked through the winding pathways and up a hill. "But I didn't know how."

"You come here often?"  
"Not really. I don't like remembering."

Kyoya looked at the sky. The clouds played with light as lightening ran through their seems. "Then why?"

"Because I like imagining what she would have said if she'd met you."  
"What would she have said?"  
"I don't know. I was six. I didn't know her as anything more than a mother. She could have been my best friend, but we never got the chance." Yuuki's voice was the same, only touched slightly by melancholy. "I guess she'd thank you for being there when she couldn't be."

There was a shrine on top of the hill, it was surrounded by roses and made of sandalwood. Like mother, like daughter. Kyoya stared at the tombstone inside the little gazebo. Yuuki held onto the top of his arm and rested her head against the side of his shoulder. There were times when he was with her that he had no idea. This was one of them. And he hated it.

"So...this is my mom." Yuuki paused. "Or, what's left of my mom."

Kyoya stared at the girl and then at the shrine. She was rather together for someone who stood before the glue that had once held her life together. Maybe it was because she'd found something in herself to keep all the pieces in place. Maybe it was because she'd found the missing pieces that fit in the little holes that kept allowing her to fall apart. "She'd have been proud of you."  
"Yes. I'm marrying you. I won a gold medal. I'm marrying you. I'm going to university. I'm marrying you."

"That's not your biggest achievement."

"No. But it's my favourite." If it was an achievement at all. It just happened. Kismet.

Kyoya put a hand on her waist. With the other he dug into his pocket and pulled out a little navy box, worn from being handled too much. "Remember this?" He opened it. Inside was a worn note. "The scary part was, you understood me...everything we've done and everything we've been through, can never be explained in words."

"Oh my gosh." Yuuki took the box. "You kept this?"

"I did."

"What did you do to it?" She ran her fingers over the worn corners.

"I took it with me."

"Where?"

"Everywhere."

"Why?"

"If I couldn't take you, then I was going to take the part of you that you gave me."

Yuuki looked up at him. "I think my mother would like you very much."

Kyoya kissed the top of her head. "I like her."

"You didn't know her?"

"No. But I know that she was the sort of person who would take her daughter riding. The sort of person that gave you a dream." Even though it had eventually been manipulated into a duty. "She was the sort of person who would make sure that you slid out of the way and she stayed exactly where she could replace you with herself."

There was silence. "That day..." Yuuki pressed her cheek into his shoulder and stared at the tombstone. "...I lost everything. Everything that I'd known until that point. I was only six...but a six year old treasures more valuable things than anyone else. Dreams..."

"What did you dream about when you were six?"  
"Like every other girl. I wanted to be a princess. I wanted to ride a horse. I wanted to wear cowboy boots and climb trees and make flower bracelets." Pause. "What did you want to be when you were six?"

"I wanted to be my father's favourite."

Yuuki squeezed his arm. "Well...you got that dream."

"I don't know if it was a nightmare or not."  
"If it's any consolation, when I was six I planned to grow up to become a car."

Awkward silence.  
"Seriously. I wanted to be a car. Then I found out I'd have to drink petrol and then I stopped wanting to be a car. Then my dad gave me a future...my mother's future...and I took it. It was all I really had."

"I understand that. Not the car bit. But I understand that." The handing out of futures and dreams until you thought that you had created them, not that someone else had. "But I've ended up in my future and you've ended up in yours."

"Except I'm marrying the king." She got part of her fairytale. Life isn't a fairytale like children see it, but its one where ever after does happen. With the happily or without.

Kyoya smiled. "And I'm marrying the pauper girl."

She pinched him. "Whatever. You love me."

"Uhuh."

"Uhuh."  
"Don't do that."

"Don't do that."

"Yuuki."  
"Kyoya."

He scowled at her. She pushed his glasses up. It started to rain. Hard. The pair stood under the shrine and looked out as a storm rolled in around them. They stared silently as it enveloped them and whipped around the shelter. The wind was bitter, the rain was cold and hard and blew into them. The tombstone stood silent. It was only a symbol. Yuuki's mother was dead. In wanting Kyoya to meet her, she wanted him to meet her past. Meet the part of her she didn't even understand. The part he helped her comprehend. And in doing so, meet the part of him that was the same. A loud crack of thunder gave Yuuki reason to press herself into Kyoya and bury her face against his collarbone. In that place, the flashes of light reminded her of the truck. They reminded him of the plane. The Ootori held her against him. She was warm. She was alive and breathing and her mother would have been proud of the way she had turned out. Of how she had fought for what she believed in. How she had fought for him. Fought herself and the world. How she had saved him. They couldn't be apart now. Not even if they tried. There were too many things that bound them together. To many things that kept them coming back. Kept them whole. Filled the unfillable holes. Repaired the irreparable. Breathed into still lungs and shocked dormant hearts. The Romeo and Juliet story where the pair had died apart and met again in another world, the one they had created before, and stirred the other back into living.

-_  
I don't know how you do it, I'm not sure how you know  
The perfect thing to say to save me from myself  
You're the angel that BELIEVES IN ME like nobody else  
And I thank God you do_

_-_

The storm didn't show signs of letting up. For an hour, the rain got into their shelter and made them damp. Neither said anything, they had both seen the storm coming. They had lived through ones bigger than it before and survived.

"Kyoya?" Yuuki said quietly, her breath seeping though his shirt and into his skin.

"Mm?" He cradled her head against him.

She closed her fingers around the ends of his jacket. "I love you."

The man smiled. "I love you too." He didn't kiss her mouth, but her head. He needed her, but not for passion. Just because he did and couldn't explain it.

"Okay." Yuuki smiled and pressed her nose against the skin of his neck. Her eyes closed to the storm.

"Yuuki?"  
"Yes?"

"It's easing up."

"Mm." The wind was still bitter, but the pelting of water on the roof was softer.

"Are you cold?"  
"No." He very warm. "Are you?"  
"No."

"Don't let go."

"I won't."

Yuuki was clutching the navy box in the hand she had pressed against his chest. "Thank you."

Kyoya smiled and ran his hand over her hair and held her closer.

-_  
I know I don't tell you nearly enough  
That I couldn't live one day without your love_

_-_

It was late when the pair finally arrived at Suki's house. The woman was due to pop any minute and wobbled to the door when she heard it open. She stared at the wet couple.

"Hello soggy versions of people I know."

"Hello, Suki." Yuuki replied, peeling her jacket off.

"It's late."

"I know."  
"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Sorry she's late. We got stuck in the storm." It was still raining heavily outside. They had taken their chances, seeing that it was getting worse again, and ran for cover.

"Yes. I can see that." Suki pulled them both into the kitchen and sat them down. "I'll make tea."

"Suki, you shouldn't be running around." Yuuki made the woman sit down and took over the task.

"I'm fine."  
"Your about to explode."

"Today was my due date."

The girl turned around and stared in horror, as if her friend would give birth then and there.

Suki laughed. "Don't worry. I'm not going to pop right now."

"Yeah...please don't." Yuuki turned back to the kettle.

The older woman turned to the man next to her. "She sucks with children."

"Really?" Kyoya was interested.  
"Yes. The other day, Riki was over with a friend. She asked yet again where babies come from and this time your girlfriend caved and told her. But she didn't tell her the right thing. She said that 'when-a-mommy-and- a-daddy-love-each-other-very-much' speech and then walked out the door before they could ask more questions." Pause. "Of course, they didn't follow any of it. And thus turned to me."

Yuuki turned around to face them. "You're the one that's pregnant. It's kind of obvious who to ask."

"Well..." Suki ignored the girl. "...I didn't answer her. That's her parent's job. But as revenge, I told Riki all about you two. She knew that you were getting married, but she didn't know why." Pause. "So when darling here got home..."

"The little brat asked me about why you'd chosen me and not her. Because obviously she's prettier."

Suki laughed. "So Yuuki told her it was because she could say totalitarianism. Great argument, right? Riki's parents are furious. She's been trying to say it ever since she got home."

Kyoya laughed. Yuuki put the tea down in front of them. "You have a very little fangirl and I have a hater." Pause. "I didn't know kids that young could hold vendetta's over guys."

"You should have told her that it's because you've finished school. Then she'd work harder." The Ootori said over his cup.

Yuuki scowled at him. "Well...meh."

"Maybe we should have told her that." Suki said, leaning on the counter.

"Mm. Maybe she'd use real words then."

"Maybe."

"Okay. I'm right here." The girl put her hands on her hips. "Stop discussing my inefficiency with children."

"Is it because they smell like boiled peas?" Kyoya said smugly.

Yuuki pulled a face at him. "Oh...go jump in a river."

"Play nice."

"No."

"Please?"

The girl leant on the counter and stared at him. Kyoya stared back. Suki stared at them and raised her hands in confusion. "I'll put you both in time-out." She turned to Yuuki. "You more so than him."

"Why?" She cried.

"Because...he said please." She grinned at her friends fiancé. "Good boy."

Kyoya grinned the way he did with Haruhi's father. He needed Suki in order to plot things for Yuuki. To know the things she was to shy or embarrassed to tell him; like her arguments with a four year old. The man looked at his watch. "I need to go in a few minutes. I have to pick you up at nine."

"I'll still be at your house at nine. I have a lesson at seven." Yuuki shot back.

"Perfect."

"Yeah."

"Yes."

"Shut up." She smiled at him and drank her tea in grammatical shame.

"There there baby, it's just textbook stuff..." Suki sang at them.

Yuuki glared at the woman.

"Sorry. Couldn't resist." She struggled to her feet and plodded down the hall, giving them some privacy. "You're such a cute couple. So strange..."

The Cunxin stared at her fiancé across the table, a bemused expression on her face. Kyoya looked very together. "What?" He asked.

"You're such a pushover."

"I know." He smiled mischievously.  
"You did this with my roommate in London. You did it with Haruhi's dad. You're spoiling my resources."

"I like your resources."

"Yeah...yes. Sorry. Yes. But they don't like you."  
"Suki likes me." Pause. "So does Riki."

"Oh...go start a boy band."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You like me."

"Yes. I like you. I'm sort of peeved with you. But you're an okay guy."

"You'll be great with your interview."

"I hope Suki goes into labour."

"Why?"

"Then I have an excuse to miss it."  
"The labour or the interview?"  
Yuuki paused. "Both...preferably."

"I'll be with you. They'll take photos and you might even get a modelling contract."

"I don't want a modelling contract. I'm too short."

"It would do you good. A short stint in photographs."

"How is promoting societal status quo a good thing? How is it good for me?"

"Because, you'll get used to attention. You'll get used to the people. You'll be ready for walking down the aisle in front of five hundred people."

"Say what?"  
"Because, you'll get use..."  
"No. No. I heard th....Flip Kyoya. Five hundred?" She ran her fingers through her hair.

HE calmly drank his tea. "Yes. And if you do advertisements, then you'll be used to lots of people."

"Five zero zero?"

"Yes."

"Do you know that many people?"  
"No."  
"Then...wha..."

"Because, my father knows people who know people who also know people who we need to be on good terms with. Who you need to be on terms with and smile for. Also, all the people who were invited to my siblings unions all have to come to. Otherwise they'll hear about it through the news and then they wont like us very much."  
"The news?"

"Yuuki. Relax. You'll be ready at the time."  
She started talking. Stopped. Pointed an angry finger at him and tried again. "You...yo...oh my gosh! Why didn't you tell me before?"  
"Because, you'd react worse than this."  
"So you waited until I was tired and wet?"  
"Yes."  
Yuuki glared at him. "We don't even have to plan anything yet."

"Yes we do. Tamaki's only having two hundred at his and they started planning a year and a half ago."  
"That's not helping."

Kyoya put his cup down and opened his arms. Yuuki crossed hers. The Ootori waved his fingers a bit, beckoning her in. She raised her chin stubbornly and put the cups in the sink. While she was there, Kyoya hugged her from behind. "You'll be here. I'm not going to let you do anything until you're ready."

"Uhuh."  
"Would I miscalculate?"

"No..."

"Would you ever stay mad at me for long?"  
"Yes." Pause. "Ha. You miscalculated."

The man smiled. "Well. I'm not leaving until you're not."

"This is one of those pact things that people make...like 'oh...darling....lets never go to sleep angry at each other...oh...oh...' oh how impossible. Of course you'll be angry sometimes. Forgiven, yes. Annoyed, probably."  
"Then I'm not leaving until you forgive me."  
"There's nothing to forgive. I'm just annoyed."

"Why?"  
"Okay. Freaked out. I didn't know..."

"I know."  
"Yes. Tell me sooner."

"You weren't ready."

"No. But I would have liked it."

Silence. They both knew it would have started a fight as opposed to a little freak out. "How's your headache?"  
"It came back a minute ago."

Kyoya pressed his mouth to her temple. "Better?" Yuuki shook her head. He did it again and repeated the question.

The girl turned around and kissed him properly. "Yes. Better."

"Okay. Go to bed."  
"Yes, dad."

Kyoya squeezed her. "You have to look your bright sparkly self tomorrow."  
"It's called make-up. They'll have some."

"You want to rock up looking like the undead?"  
"No..." That wouldn't be good publicity.

"Then..."

"I don't want you driving in this weather."

The man looked down at her. She wouldn't go to sleep until she knew he was alright. "I'll call you when I get home."

Yuuki stared at her hands. "Okay."

"I'll be fine."

"You better be."

"Goodnight." Kyoya headed for the door and let himself out into the night.

Half an hour later, in a dark room, Yuuki sat on her bed and stared at her mobile. It sprung to life and a picture of Kyoya and she flashed on the screen. It was a MySpace shot and he wasn't participating.

"Hello?"  
"I'm home."  
"In one piece?"  
"Yes. I'm in one piece."

"I'm not." Yuuki stared out her window. The rain clung to the glass.

"What happened?" He wondered if she'd cut herself shaving or something.  
"You're not here."

Pause. "You'll survive."

The girl knew he felt the same. "Maybe. The storms getting worse."

"Relax. It just a storm."

"Next time, we're watching movies."

"Okay." He heard her beginning to drift off. "Yuuki?"  
"Mmm?"

"Get under the covers." There was a soft shuffling noise. "Good girl."

"You're so good to me."

"Someone has to be."

"What are you doing?"

"Going through profits and losses from the last month."

"Go to bed too." Pause. "Hypocrite."

There was a soft laugh. "I have to do this."  
"And you have to look beautiful tomorrow."

"Stop trying to repay me."

"Mm...'kay." Giving back the same way he gave was like giving back exactly what he had given her. No one liked used gifts.

"Good night, Yuuki."  
"Sleep sweet, Kyoya."

Click.

-_  
When I'm a ship tossed around on the waves  
Up on a highwire that's ready to break  
When I've had just about all I can take  
Baby you, baby you save me_

**_(You Save Me lyrics, Kenny Chesney)_**

_-_

Tachi met Yuuki in the stables. "Morning sunshine."

The girl smiled her hellos.  
"I hear you got a bit sloshed the other night."

She flinched. "Oh. You did, did you?"  
"Yes. Kyoya had to give me the real reason that you couldn't meet me yesterday morning."

"Oh. Right."  
"Do I need to lecture you?"  
"No."

"Have you learnt your lesson?"  
"Yes."  
"Have you checked your girth?"

Yuuki pulled the strap under Zero's belly tight and mounted up. "Yes."

"Good. Go do your warm up."

"Okay."

Their relationship flowed. It was easy. Nothing tense. Like a father daughter relationship should have been. Not everything needed to be said, but everything needed to be understood on some level.

"So...head for the oxer Yuuki...you need to be done by eight I hear. Means you'll be taking Zero for a run this afternoon."  
"I will."

"Alright. Good. Ease off his mouth a bit. Are you stressed?"

"Yes."

"Why?"  
"I have to talk to Vogue. Apparently they like my dress sense. And fiancé."

"Ah."  
"Yes. Ah" Yuuki knew he understood.

"Just smile and chew with your mouth closed."

"Wrong talk, Tachi."

"Whatever. Have some encouragement."

"Thank you."

"Do the triple."

"How high is it?"

"One fifty."

"Only?"

"Don't get cocky."

Yuuki smiled. After the lesson she spent some time playing with Zero. She talked to him and then let him loose in the paddock. The horse stood in front of her for a minute.

"Off you go boy. I know you got bundles of energy, but I'll help you get rid of them this afternoon." The horse snorted and pressed his nose to her pocket. The girl raised her eyebrows and gave him a sugar cube. "You'll get fat."

"Yeah. Since you're not working him so hard." Tachi said, appearing behind her. "he shouldn't be retired yet."

"He's only nine." Yuuki stroked the Zero's face.

"Exactly."

There was a pause. "You want to take him to the Japan Prix? I'll be on honeymoon."

The man looked at her, surprised. "I don't compete anymore."

"Just because part of you died, doesn't mean your life has to too." Yuuki said scratching her horse. "I learnt that last night."

"You want me to ride him?"  
"Sure. I feel bad, neglecting him as I have." The girl hugged the animal. "He's got lots more potential. I'll do the Olympics again, and FEI...but not as a career."

"I understand that. But it's your horse."

"Technically its Kyoya's horse."

"Yuuki...I cant..."

"You can. Tachi, you've been like a father to me for so long. My father handed me a future I didn't know I wanted. I still adore riding, but it's not something I want as a career. That was a little girls dream. It was my mother's dream. It's not mine." Pause. "I would be honoured if you took him to the competition."

"Then..." Tachi bear hugged his student. "I'd be honoured to ride him."

The girl squealed at the sudden attack and tried to escape. It was impossible. "Okay, okay. OKAY! Enough love. Enough love. You're welcome. Tachi. Tachi...Tach...air...AIR!"

The man let go. "Sorry."

"Okay." Yuuki straightened her hair. "Okay. I need a shower."

The man watched her leave and smiled warmly. In getting her life back, she was giving others it back too.

-

The girl sat in the kitchen, amused. Kyoya had woken up in a particularly sour mood and hated the world. Just like she had the other day.

"Let me guess." She said in a light tone. "The coffee isn't strong enough?"  
"No. It's fine."

"Your breakfast has no flavour?"  
"No."

"You had a nightmare?"  
"No."

"Then why the killer mood."

"Mornings..."

"You'll learn to adjust." She played his tricks back on him.

Kyoya glared. "I'm not getting up early with you."  
"No...I don't get up early if I'm not riding. But you get up hating the morning."

"You adore it enough for the both of us."

"That's beside the point."

Low growl.

"Oh. Get over it. You'll get used to it." Yuuki crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Come on boy band. Let's go do this thing."

Kyoya turned around and peeled her arms away. "No boy band." Pause. "No boy band language either. What the hell was that?"

The girl grinned and stood on her toes to kiss him lightly good morning, hoping it would wake him up. "It's nine. Let's go."

Kyoya caught her hand as she went to bounce out the door and pulled her back, pressing his mouth to hers. Yuuki was caught off guard and ended up slipping on the marble floor and being held up by the Ootori. "Morning." His voice was gruff, still asleep. But he was somewhat more alert.

"Next time you need to eat my face for breakfast, give us some warning." The girl struggled to find her balance again.

"Hm..." Kyoya took his car-keys and headed for the garage. "Ready?"  
"No."

"Now you're in a bad mood."

"I'm not in a bad mood."

The man yawned. "You're not a morning person, are you?"  
"I'm a learnt morning person." Pause."You can be too."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"I like sleeping in."

"Me too. But I like mornings as well." Find car. Get in car.  
"We'll find some equilibrium in time then."

"In time. I'm still considering sleeping in the spare room."  
"We won't live here." The engine roared to life.

"Where?"  
"We'll go apartment shopping."

"House shopping." Correction.

"We need to be close to the city."  
"I need to be close to my horse."

Pause. Kyoya smiled roguishly. "Zero can stay in the spare room."

Yuuki laughed and blushed at the same time. "We can do jumping in the lounge and dressage in the study."

"Alright." The man said, his mood lightened by her. For the first time someone had pulled him out of his regular morning demonic tendencies. "Alright. We'll buy close to here."

"Ooo...like there?" Yuuki stared at a massive mansion that was for sale.  
"There are only two of us. Just because you have money, doesn't mean you have to spend it."

"But isn't it pretty?" The house passed by.

Kyoya shook his head. "We'll find something. You can even furnish it."

"Really?" She was genuinely excited.

"Yes."

"I love you."

"Yes. And I love your taste. Your London apartment was very nice."

"Liked the linen closet, did you?"

"I did."

"Thought so."

There was a short silence. "Oh. Also. The people at Vogue say that if they can take pictures at your wedding and have exclusive rights; they will book all the venues, caterer's etcetera. You just have to choose them."

"Serious?" Yuuki ran a hand through her hair. If only one magazine was taking photos, that was alright. And she wouldn't have to organise things.

"Serious."  
"Alright. Sweet. Means I can put it off."  
"Means we have to talk to them today."

"Means..."  
"Uh. No. Today."

The girl sighed and stared out the window, a small smile playing on her lips. "Alright. Today."

-

_I know they wanna come and separate us but they can't do us nothin  
Your the one I want and I'm a continue lovin  
Cause your considered wifey and I'm considered husband  
And I'm a always be there for you  
And either way you look at it I ain't goin no where from my muffin  
Cause she gonna hold it down, cant no body tell her nothin  
You got the kind of love that always make up after fussin  
And that's what gets me closer to you_

And no one knows  
Why I'm into you  
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes  
And no one knows, the things we've been through  
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through  
That's why we'll break through

And I don't care what they say  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I wanna be with you  
And I don't care what they do  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you

Seems like every day that go by things are gettin harder  
Want to be the one that give you the whole enchilada  
Cause I know what my baby like, ?? that Prada  
Louis bag to match with the shoes  
All about knowing you I'm into doing things to keep her longer  
Stickin together forever, watch it grow stronger  
That's the way it has to be, everything proper  
Keepin it always true

And no one knows  
What I'm into you  
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes  
And no one know, the things we've been through  
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through  
That's why we'll break through

And I don't care what they say  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I wanna be with you  
And I don't care what they do  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you

You are everything in my life see the joy you bring  
And ain't no one I can compare you to  
And I know that you will never walk away from me no matter what  
And that's why I plan to do the same thing for you  
And I want you to know

And I don't care what they say  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I wanna be with you  
And I don't care what they do  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you  
I'm gonna be with you

_(Be with you, Akon)_

-----------------

_I think that song is perfect for this chapter. ^-^ If you have any songs that might work, ones that make you think of this story then please, don't hesitate to sent them. Thanks to everyone who has suggested songs. I love your input. It really keeps this story going. I love your reviews, and replying to them. It makes you tangible as readers. You're not just figures, your people. _

_So...the next chapter will be Christmas, the next Tamaki and Haruhi's wedding, then one or two after that will be Kyoya and Yuuki's wedding (because there's stuff with her father and her brother and Suki has to have a baby..etcetera). After that the plot does continue, I won't write another sequel because what I have planned fits. You don't mind having like...thirty chapters? It's not annoying?_

_Please, do tell me. Constructive criticism is much appreciated to. If you have any questions for me about the story or the author, please ask. I'd love to answer any of them._

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	23. Chapter 21

-

**Chapter 21**

**-**

Yuuki sat on the couch at Tamaki's house and flipped through a magazine. Kyoya was looking over her shoulder. It had taken a month after the publishing of their interview before the girl gained the interest to read it.

"I like that." She found a picture of them. It was black and white. Kyoya was sitting on a couch, side on, with his laptop balanced on his knees. Yuuki was crossed legged and leaning against his legs, holding up a slushy. Neither looked at each other, or at the camera; both were preoccupied and just together within that distraction. "I'm actually pretty sure they took that between shoots though, when we weren't looking..."

"Me too." Kyoya looked at the picture. "If you ever tip anything with liquid in it so close to my laptop again though, you will be buying a new one."

It was Christmas day and the Host Club had gathered around the tree at the Suoh mansion. No one was doing anything at present, probably because Tamaki had rushed off to make popcorn. Which explained the burning smell that wafted from down the hall. Haruhi had rushed off to see that he didn't light anything besides the corn on fire.

The Ootori turned the page. "That's...comical."

Yuuki scowled. She was wearing a pair of heels that put her feet almost vertical and skinny jeans under a Prada shirt. Kyoya was standing with his hands in his pockets, smiling smugly as the girl tried very hard to look dignified but had ended up laughing. "My feet still hurt. If they were trying to mimic my fashion sense, they failed with the shoes."

"I thought you liked Tony Bianco?"  
The girl stared into space. "I do..." she said dreamily before snapping back. "But I also like having the bones in my feet aligned correctly." Pause. Turning of page. Short laugh. The picture showed Kyoya tying his tie while Yuuki leant her arm horizontally on his shoulder, an act possible with the help of another horrendous set of heels. "You always look so serious."

"You always look so...amused."

"I am amused. Probably because I almost died that day."  
"Died?"

"It's not good to have butterflies in your stomach. Like watermelon seeds. They grow into a watermelon and then you explode." Yuuki said this loud enough to catch Hunny's attention.

The short blonde was eating watermelon and looked up in horror. "WHAT?" Mori spent the next ten minutes consoling him while Kyoya spent the next ten minutes explaining why the Cunxin had issues with children.

On the eleventh minute, Tamaki appeared with popcorn. "I did it! Yeah? I made popcorn!"

Haruhi appeared behind him. "Actually, I did it. He opened the bag."

"Ah. But all that hot steam."

"Yes. You did very well." The girl smiled at her fiancé. Tamaki beamed and kissed her on the cheek with much exuberance.

"POPCORN!" He held the bowl aloft and placed it triumphantly on the table.

Yuuki picked a thread on her jersey. "He's so excited."

"Is he ever not." Kyoya said flatly.  
"It's so contagious." She smiled.

"Are you excited?"

"It's Christmas! Duh." She wiggled her toes inside her new UGG boots. New Zealand wool. The best in the business. It helped with the bad peripheral circulation.

The twins watched the pair warily. They knew that revenge was imminent but didn't know when. And that was worse than what they were expecting. "I wonder if you bought us matching shirts for Christmas, again." They said in unison to the group. "It's very tedious."

"Oh, the bane of being a twin." Haruhi rolled her eyes and sat by the tree.

Hunny bounced over and just about dived into the pile of wrapped boxes. "Can we open them now Haru-Chan?"

"Ah." Tamaki sat cross legged, leant back and pulled the Vogue away from his friend's fiancé and gave it to his. "We can now."

The goal was to get everyone's attention. Haruhi however was absorbed by the article. "Famous for reasons no one can accurately pinpoint, but not judged for it. Yuuki Cunxin is a mix of business, sport and fashion. A little bundle of witty everything."

Yuuki grabbed the magazine back. "They wrote that?!"

"Well...it's about you."

"It's about me 'being famous for reasons no one can accurately pinpoint.'"

"Well. You went to the Olympics. You've done some modelling. You're going to go to university for physiology...it's like an all rounder." The other girl shrugged.

"All rounder?" The Cunxin crossed her arms. "I'm not even round."

Everyone laughed. Kyoya wrapped a comforting arm around her waist. He knew she wouldn't like anything that was said about her, even if it was the highest praise. He had even ensured that half the article was about him. The next week, they had both been on the cover of a gossip magazine coming out of a restaurant with Tamaki and Haruhi. The caption had read. _The Olympic fashionista and Kyoya Ootori out and about and ENGAGED._ Insert close up of engagement ring here and speculation of affairs or pregnancy or both. Yuuki had stared at the image, claiming that they weren't musicians, celebrities or whatever and thus shouldn't be a paparazzi icon. Kyoya had pointed out that Paris Hilton had been neither, she had been an heiress. The girl had gone to rebut and then remembered that he was an Heir. She promptly had a bit of a sulk before being convinced that the worst was now when the attention about them was high. Then it would dull down. Only Japan had an interest in them.

-

Yuuki remembered shopping for presents with Kyoya. It had been an event. Once again, they had wanted to buy everyone the same thing. The Ootori wanted to get Tamaki cologne, something for the wedding day. His fiancé said that a girl should choose it because men suck at choosing men's cologne unless it's for themselves.

"Well. What cologne then?" Kyoya stared at the bottles on the rack.

Yuuki shook her head. "If I tell you, then you'll buy it."

Pause. "Okay. What cologne do you want me to wear?"

"No. You have to choose your own."

Frown. For half an hour he watched her and finally discovered that she kept going back to the Hugo Boss counter. He bought _Black_ before she could. When they walked out of the store she had looked in his bag and stopped dead.

"You stalker."

He pushed his glasses up. "I wanted to buy him cologne."

"I wanted to buy him cologne."

"Buy him something else."  
Yuuki pointed an accusing finger at him and went to say something, came up with nothing and decided to change the topic. "I'm buying Haruhi those earrings."

"Too late."

The girl scowled at his impish smile. "You're...unbelievable!"

"I got there first."

"Its not a competition."

"No. But if it was, I won." Pause. "What's so bad about not buying them exactly that?"

"Because, I wanted to buy them exactly that. And then you foiled my plans."

"Next year you can get first pick."

"Whatever." She walked off. "Don't expect to get a gift this year."

"What do you want?"

The girl stopped and turned around. "Um..." There was an easy way to break her stubbornness about shopping; suggest she get something. "Shoes."

"Shoes?"  
"Shoes."

"Really?"  
"No." Yuuki glared and continued on her path of obstinacy.

"You're being tenacious."

"You're being annoying."

"I'm being an Ootori."  
"Exactly." She stopped, realising he was sauntering after her coolly. "You always outdo me."

Kyoya finally realised why she was angry. "No, I don't."

"Yes you do. You go to university. You're an heir. You have loads of money. You're so smart it should be illegal..."

"You're smart. You're beautiful. Which...is taken for granted; something your smarts should have compensated for...you have a very comfortable life, you will be going to university."  
"You got the gifts first." She crossed her arms.

Kyoya smiled. "You'll be better at this next year."

"I'll be brilliant at this next year. So watch out."

"Okay." Change of subject. "Hunny."

"There's a new bakery that makes five tier cakes."

"I'll buy a four tier."

"Good boy." Yuuki smiled. He was forgiven for doing nothing wrong.

Later that day, the pair was seated in a coffee shop with their gifts. Kyoya leant back and stared at her. "Now, seriously. What do you want for Christmas?"

"You don't have to buy me anything."

"Not having to and wanting to are different things, although often used in the same context."

Pause. "You."

"What?"  
"All I want for Christmas is you."

The song was playing in the background. "That's generic."

Yuuki smiled. She'd already bought him a gift. "I know." He could use his imagination if he wanted to buy her one.

"You're not going to tell me?"  
"Work it out yourself." She stood up to leave. "And...I sort of already did." The girl went to pay for their stopover.

-

"Anyway." Hunny said brightly. "Presents!"

Mori took charge of present-hand-out-person and began passing around coloured boxes and ribbons. Hunny got numerous variations of the same thing; cake and confectionary. He was thrilled. Absolutely, sugar high thrilled. Tamaki got a surfboard for no reason specified other than that it was a surfboard. Haruhi got covered in clothes and jewellery, perfume and shoes; an effort to bring her femininity out more. Mori got a punching back. Just because. It was very difficult to buy for him. The twins a bottle of Maison. The gifts kept coming, it was easy for the rich to splurge and Christmas was a good time to do it. _Santa_ (AKA: TAMAKI) had bought everyone tickets to the ballet. Kyoya had purchased a car for the twins, probably in the hope they would crash it.

Yuuki got books. Lots and lots of books. And surprisingly, a piano. Her fiancé must have told him about her adequate ability. Kyoya took the note off it. "For the house. When we find it."

She had stared at him, shocked. "You bought me a piano?"  
"Well...you didn't learn flute, did you?"

"Where will we put it?"  
"The house."  
Tamaki leaned on the couch behind Yuuki. "I'll keep it until you get one. If I get exclusive playing rights. It's almost better than mine. Almost."

The girl looked at Kyoya. "Oh my gosh!"

He smiled. She liked it. He wanted her to start doing the other things she was good at; university was already a go, modelling was adequate and now her creative side could be fuelled to. If he could learn a lot of things, then she could too.

"Play something Yuu-Chan!" Hunny said through a mouthful of candy-cane.

"Oh. No." She shook her head. "I don't play very well at all. I haven't played at all for a long time. Tamaki can play it."

"No." The blonde said dramatically. "The first play goes to the owner!"

"Then Kyoya should play it. He bought it." The girl searched for loopholes.

"I bought it for you." He shot back smugly.

Yuuki raised her eyebrows at him. "Um...my fingers hurt."

Much to her surprise, Tamaki picked her up by her arms and carried her over to the gift. "There is no excuse."

"Ah. Ah." The girl squirmed and tried to find the floor. "Put me down. Please put me down. Tamaki, down. Ah." She wriggled a bit and was finally set on the ground, the blonde still gripped her arms. "Will you play?"  
She shook her head. He picked her up again. "Okay! Okay! No! Tamaki. Down. Please. Put me down. Ah."

The Suoh put her down. "Yes?"

Yuuki nodded stubbornly and glared at Kyoya.

"HAZZAR!" Tamaki cheered.

"What do you want to hear?" The girl sat heavily on the stool. Displaying her frustration.

"Clair de lune." Tamaki cheered louder.

Pause. "What do you want to hear, that I can actually play?"

"Play the one you played me." Kyoya said with a small smile.

"Which one?"  
"I think you know which one."

Yuuki smiled back, seeing him want it made her want to give it to him. "Okay." Pause. "Merry Christmas."

She played a flawed version of the song was very close to her. The tune she played was roughly based off a piece her mother had played her. It was the piece she played to Kyoya when they were finding each other again. Working each other out again. It was a song of their world. Melancholy and yet somehow proof that love could last. Yuuki laughed, embarrassed, when it was over.

Tamaki clapped. "Good! But you missed a few notes."

"I know." Yuuki stood up and crossed to Kyoya. "You can play it now." Get the spotlight off herself.

"Really?" He looked very excited.

"Really, really."

The man made a short noise of excitement before throwing himself onto the stool and playing a jazzy version of _We wish you a Merry Christmas._ Kyoya opened his arm and let Yuuki fold it around herself. It was snowing heavily outside and night was falling fast.

"Are you cold?" He asked quietly while everyone got lost in the Suoh's magnificent piano playing.

"No."

"Annoyed?"  
"Somewhat."  
"You like it though." It wasn't a question, more a pleased statement.

"I do." The girl wrapped her fingers around his forearm. It was wrapped across the front of her shoulders. "I like it very much." Pause. "Do you want yours?"  
"You got me something?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

Kyoya smiled. "Just tell me what it is."  
"Lots of shirts." She joked. "I'm not telling you. You'll have to open it." Pause. "Surprisingly, it goes very, very well with that piano."

The man raised an eyebrow as Yuuki asked Mori for a rectangular gift. She thanked him and handed it to Kyoya. Her fiancé liked how she had chosen a moment when everyone was distracted to give it to him. He opened the box to find two keys. One green, one blue, and an upside down photo frame. He turned it around and was confronted with an image of a house.

"You bought me a house?"

"I bought us a house."

"Next year tell me to mentally note the price we're allowed to spend." Shocked pause. "You bought a house?"

"Don't worry. I only paid the down payment, I knew you wouldn't stand for me spending that much money on something you have to share." She smiled haughtily. "I went to see it and fell in love. Its only half an hour from the CBD, on acreage, great mountain views and its very comfortable."

Kyoya stared at the image. The house was two stories, but not huge. It was made of pale sandstone and had eye-catching deep wood windowpanes with white window shutters and cream curtains that could be seen from the outside. The glass in its face was huge, enough to afford the view but maintain privacy. It had a smart black roof and a chimney indicating that there was a fireplace inside somewhere. The second story was build slightly back from the first so that the house wasn't a giant box, but comprised of eye-pleasing levels. There was a layout in the bottom corner that showed that the top level was just a bedroom, bathroom and private living area that floated above the void of the public living area below. It would be perfect for her studies and the times he got sick of working alone and missed her. The image was only of the front of the house, but it was beautiful. The lawn was covered in snow in the image, it had obviously only recently gone up for sale, but there were flowers in the garden. It had been designed to provide foliage all year round with different plants for different seasons.

Yuuki looked at the picture with him. "Do you like it?"  
For the first time in his life, Kyoya was speechless. "I..."  
"If you don't I can get a refund. Inside it's so much like the apartment in London, only it has a paddock. And a big old oak tree with a tyre swing." She was obviously in love with it.

"Don't refund it." He thought it was perfect. "How did you find it?" It was so perfect.  
"Tachi lives in that basic area, he saw it for sale and called me. We drove out after my lesson one morning and I didn't sleep well that night, worrying someone else would buy it."

"So, now that Suki's had her baby, you're going to move in?"  
Yuuki smiled. "Yes. It's not properly furnished yet but I bought a giant bookcase and a couch....and kitchen appliances." Pause. "You'll have to see inside and help me buy stuff."

"Okay." Kyoya couldn't believe it. He had been outdone for the first time and thanked her silently for not having paid for it all. He would have felt very insignificant. But Yuuki knew how to keep him worthy. "Well, you already have a piano to put in it."

"Nice piano. And lots of books."

Kyoya pushed up his glasses and laughed, deep and low. "You bought a house..."

"And I let you pick what color you want the key to be!" Yuuki shook the box. "Blue or green?"  
The Ootori smiled. "Green." Blue was her favorite colour.

"Sweet. Green it is."

Tamaki finished his song with a flourish; completely oblivious to the gift giving that had just occurred. "Good piano Kyoya. The person who helped you pick it must have been fantastic." He grinned.

Hikaru and Kaoru leant on each other's shoulders. "You helped him, didn't you?"

"Hah." The blonde stood. "I did."

"Was someone else there, or were you lying when you said the helper was fantastic?"

Tamaki looked like he'd been hit by a truck and took his little storm cloud to the corner to brood. Haruhi glared at the twins and took a bowl of popcorn over to the man to consol his deflated ego.

-

At dinner that night, Hikaru and Kaoru tried their shenanigans again. Only this time everyone was prepared. Tamaki had made sure that the maids serving that night had taken all alcohol off the menu and out of the house. He had also tried to cook dinner with Haruhi and most of it was overdone. No one seemed to mind though. After dinner the group headed outside. The snow had eased up but had covered the ground in a thick layer of white powder.

"Watch out. The pool is somewhere under there. It froze over. Cold winter. Global warming isn't very warm this year." Tamaki seemed to have not realized the global warming didn't mean that things only warmed up.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Mori knew Hunny would be diving in an out of the snow.

"Not really. It's a thick layer of ice. It didn't break when Haruhi and I went skating on it." He held the girls hand. "So it should be fine."

"You went ice skating on your pool?" Yuuki asked, getting an UGG boot full of snow. The wool inside got wet and cold and uncomfortable.

"Yes." The Suoh beamed in the dark. Haruhi laughed sweetly beside him, remembering something.

"Why are we outside anyway?" Hikaru asked.

"Yeah, its cold." Kaoru finished.

"Because. It's a nice evening." Hunny climbed up Mori so that he could dive into the deeper parts of the snow more effectively. "And the fire is so much nicer when you've been cold!" He jumped and disappeared into a Hunny shaped hole in the snow, only to resurface a few feet away laughing with glee.

Kyoya buried his hands in his hoodie pockets. Yuuki tucked her head through the gap between his elbow and his body and forced her way into it and pressed into his side."Hello." She breathed, fog escaped.

"Cold?"  
"I have snow in my shoes. Or. It used to be snow. Its water now."

"Uncomfortable?"  
"Freezing."

"Want to go inside?"  
"No. This is nice." Little flecks of white had caught in her hair and in his.

Kyoya didn't say anything; he just had to match his pace to hers. And direction. It was like practicing for a three legged race, only with four legs and one body. In the effort it took to find an equilibrium for this, neither realized that they hadn't gone around the area the pool was known to be in like everyone else. The snow covered the ice just as thick as it covered everything else and made the surface worse than it should have been. Yuuki slipped first and grabbed him as her feet went one way and her body went the other. She remained standing, but in a very uncomfortable position. Laughing, the girl managed to get her feet back together and her body upright.

"Oi. Help me." Yuuki said, slipping again.

Kyoya kept his hands in his pockets and smiled smugly. She had come out from the curve of his arm and was clinging to it instead. "No. If I help you, I'll go down."

"If you don't, you'll go down too."

As if on cue, the girl slipped on a particularly slick piece of frozen swimming pool, cried out in surprise and lost her balance completely. She didn't lose her fiancé's arm though and he came down to. Kyoya landed on Yuuki and she landed in a powdery pile of snow.

"Told you so." Her tone was breathless. She was a little winded. He wasn't light but had fortunately not crushed her chest. Kyoya had caught himself when he fell by placing a hand down before the rest of him crashed to the ground.

It was half propping him up just above her. "You need to make friends with gravity."

Yuuki breathed a bit. "It's the one that keeps attacking me."

Kyoya laughed. "Well, you keep taking me down with it too."

"Yeah...well..." She shrugged. Pause. "Kyoya, it's hard to breath already, can you get off?" It wasn't snowing on her anymore. "You're a good human umbrella, but you're heavy."

He looked down at her. "I thought you were cold?"

"Yes. I was. But there's snow seeping through the back of my shirt." The innuendo went straight over Yuuki's head. She frowned and rethought his statement, and then her statement. The girl opened her mouth to make it less suspect but couldn't with their current predicament.

"No." Kyoya rolled onto his back beside her and stared at the sky. Not a star in sight behind the clouds. "You can't take that back."

"You're such a guy."  
"You're not freaking out." He said smoothly.

Pause. "I wasn't until you alerted me to the...complexity of that situation."

"You're freaking out now?"  
"You're keeping the thirty centimeter rule."

"Thirty centimeter rule?"  
"That rule for middle school where guys and girls have to stay thirty centimeters apart."

"There wasn't one at Ouran."

"No. That would have put you out of business. When Suki was in school they had that rule, she told me about it." Pause. "But, no. I'm not freaking out as much as I would have been."

"Really?"  
"Scared. But not freaky." She turned her head to look at him. "Enough to not want to talk about it anymore though." Pause. "You don't freak out or get scared?"  
"I'm wired differently."

"Uhuh. But still..."  
"I've also put up with Tamaki since middle school, he never believed in the thirty centimeter rule."

"Huh." Yuuki stared at the sky again. "Funny how that works. Socialized to feel differently. Or maybe it's the girl boy thing. Haruhi isn't so keen on the idea either...well, keen isn't the right word. She's had a little freak out too."

"Well, neither of you would do anything like that unless it meant something." Kyoya knew the conversation was going to end. If he was honest, it unnerved him a bit too when he actually thought about it. This is probably why those of the male gender don't think too much about intimacy; or not as much as their opposites.

"Yes. Because it's...for the female side...um...invasive....Okay. T.F now. T.F." Things getting a little too close for comfort.

"T.F?"

"To Far."

"Where did that come from?"  
"Abbreviation."

"Don't people only do that in junior school?"  
Yuuki laughed. "Have you ever tried to say abbreviation, abbreviated?"  
He stared at her and replied that he had not.

"Try." Pause. "Abrvtn." The word came out like a splutter.

"It's like my teaching you to speak properly never happened." Kyoya laughed.

"Yes. It never happened." She sat up and began the careful process of standing. "To my knowledge."

The Ootori offered his hand as leverage and Yuuki found her feet and helped him to his. She skidded a bit and then began the careful walk to where she thought the edge of the pool would be. As kismet would have it, she misjudged the distance and caught her shoe on the edge of the basin and face-planted into the patio around the pool.

Kyoya stood with his arms crossed, safely off the ice. "Are you alright?"  
Yuuki brushed the snow off her face and hair. "I'm cold."

"Inside."

"Yes. The outdoors is trying to kill me."

Kyoya helped her up and then steered her away from the way they had come and right around the general vicinity of the ice. "Around the pool."

Yuuki kept her eyes glued to the ground. She could hear the rest of the Host Club already inside. They had been smart and abandoned the snow for the fireplace. "I'm cold."  
"Yes. So am I." The Ootori buried one hand in his pocket and grabbed hers with the other. Her fingers were a lot colder than his. Part of her peripheral circulation problem, the blood didn't warm right to the tips of her hands and feet. "You need more Vitamin B."

"Why?"  
"It helps the capillaries open; the blood would reach your hands."

"Myth."

"Fact."

"It _might_ promote general health by helping circulation. I'm not that cold."

"You're hands are colder than mine."

"Really. Wow. That's amazing. You're a very cold person." Pause. "I win."

Kyoya scowled at her. She was the one person he could not be a frozen demeanor around. He let her hand go. Yuuki suddenly realized how cold her hand had actually been and searched for his again. The Ootori hid it in his pocket.

"Okay. I'll up the intake." The girl bounced on her feet as they neared the house. Her feet were cold, her hands were cold and she really wanted a beanie. Just because. She slipped her arms around him, under his own, and pressed her face into his hoodie. "It's cold."

Kyoya had to stop walking or run her over. He preferred the former to the latter. "Invest in some gloves." He quoted from their time in London.

"I told you to do that."  
"Yes. But I have pockets."

"I have pockets too. But their full of snow." She sounded lightly mournful.

Kyoya looked down; his hands were pinned inside his hoodie; somewhere between himself and her. "Yuuki?"  
"Yes?"  
"Look up a second."

As she did he pressed his mouth to hers. Yuuki lingered a moment and then let him go. "No. It's not you, you're warm. It's just cold. Inside." She beckoned him towards the door.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and watched her trudge through the snow before following. It was easier for him, he was taller. Half her shin disappeared into the powder. Once inside, Yuuki pulled her shoes off and carried them to the fireplace. There she propped them up, close to Hikaru and Kaoru, and folded herself against the coffee table. Kyoya appeared beside her and pulled a strand of damp hair off her cheek bone. The girl smiled at him and let gravity help her lean against him.

Beside them, Haruhi and Tamaki were doing the same thing, except in their own way. Hikaru and Kaoru were roasting marshmallows with Hunny and Mori. Perfect pairs. All drawn to each other and then together by bonds no one actually knew existed.

Etta James played in the background, setting the mood delicately. It was nearly midnight and the day had been perfect. Cold, wet, soggy, but perfect. They were together.

-

_At last, my love has come along  
My lonely days are over  
And life is like a song  
Oh, yeah, at last  
The skies above are blue  
My heart was wrapped up in clovers  
The night I looked at you  
I found a dream that I could speak to  
A dream that I can call my own  
I found a thrill to rest my cheek to  
A thrill that I have never known  
Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile  
Oh, and then the spell was cast  
And here we are in heaven  
For you are mine  
At last_

_(At last, Etta James)_

_-_

Everyone woke up in Tamaki's lounge on Boxing day. It had continued to snow the whole night, making driving dangerous. Yuuki was adamant that they stay where they were until it eased up. It didn't. So they slept at the Suoh mansion.

The Cunxin woke up curled in an armchair. Everyone else was still fast asleep. Tamaki was laying on his stomach, his arm under his head and his face like a sweet, yet remarkably annoying, angel. The twins were entwined in a way only siblings knew how to do. Hunny had curled up on Mori's stomach like a cat. It was amusing to watch him rise and fall with his cousin's breath. Mori would be annoyed when he woke up and couldn't move for fear of the blonde exploding. Everyone knew Hunny was bad, if not worse, than Kyoya in the morning. Haruhi was on the couch beside the armchair. The girls had been talking when everyone else was asleep. Chatting in their own private corner about things that anyone with a Y chromosome wouldn't understand. Kyoya was near Tamaki, lying on his back with one arm behind his head and the other on his stomach.

Yuuki rolled her neck. She had slept in the wrong position. The girl stretched out of the chair and swore never to sleep in something you couldn't lie flat on again. She looked at the tree and smiled. Christmas had been good. They were all finally moving forward, but doing it together. A bond that deep doesn't just disappear over time. It doesn't disintegrate. It was rare. Just like her and him. Yuuki looked at Kyoya, his glasses were on the coffee table, yet, he didn't look any different. Maybe it was because his glasses didn't have rims and that made them almost invisible unless there was a glint of light on them. But maybe it was because he was no longer defined by what people defined him as. He had erased that definition and created something different that encapsulated him, but allowed for him to learn from his mistakes. He was still Kyoya Ootori. But he was still hers. Yuuki smiled at the thought and turned to the window and watched the sun glint brighter on the snow as the morning woke itself up.

There was stirring. The morning person of the Host Club woke up. Tamaki yawned and stretched. He looked around. "Ah! Good morning princess!" He was remarkably perky first thing.

Yuuki didn't get it. She was still groggy. "Morning."

The blonde stood up and bounced over to her side. "Ah. You're the first person who has ever woken up before me."

"Creature of habit."

There was a shuffling down the hall and a bright blonde burst into the room and tackled the man. Tamaki hadn't let his dog out for Christmas because she would mug him the whole night. "Antoinette! Hello!" The dog licked him. He'd bought her the day he'd kidnapped Kyoya and dragged him to an exhibition.

Yuuki took a step back. Such an excitable dog wouldn't work with her. She'd never had a dog and didn't even know what to expect.

Tamaki stood up and brushed himself off. "This is Antoinette, Yuuki." The golden retriever wagged its tail and tensed up.

Yuuki couldn't help but think that the pair was remarkably alike. "Hello...dog..." She knelt down to pet her head. Bad idea. She was soon on the ground, the dog on top of her and Tamaki laughing and claiming that she had found a new friend. The girl covered her face, not wanting to be licked with whatever Antoinette had eaten for breakfast. "Turn it off! Tamaki! Get off, dog!"

The twins had woken up from the noise and were watching gleefully. Haruhi was the one who came over and pulled the retriever off her friend. Yuuki sat up, disheveled. "Thank you." She breathed.

Mori was awake, but unmoving. He couldn't see what was going on but didn't dare move for waking Hunny. The blonde and Kyoya were still like rocks.

The Cunxin stood up and put as much distance between herself and the dog. And this meant sitting between Mori and Kyoya. Of course, Antoinette wasn't finished with her yet and launched herself across the room with a bright bark. Yuuki covered her head with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. Nothing hit her. When she opened her eyes she found the dog sitting obediently in front of Mori, of whom the animal would have jumped on. The man had his hand raised in front of the dog's face.

"Oh my gosh. Thank you." Yuuki whispered.

Tamaki walked over and took his dog by the collar and began dragging her outside. The trance was broken. Antoinette dragged back and pulled her owner right over Mori and Hunny, into Yuuki and then heaped on top of Kyoya. There was dead silence as everyone waited for hell to erupt.

Hunny sat up at the top of the pile and glared at everyone in the room. "I'm still tired." He seethed.

Haruhi looked around and pulled a candy cane off the tree. "Sugar will wake you up."

The blonde stared at the desperate girl and then at the candy. He smiled instantly and crossed the room quickly. The twins sighed in relief, knowing they would have been blamed even though they had done nothing but lie there.

Mori stood up and lifted Hunny so that he was out of the way of Kyoya's inevitable awaking. The Ootori stared at the ceiling and then at the threesome crushing him. Dog, man, woman. He growled. Antoinette whimpered and left the room with her tail between her legs. Hikaru closed the door and then realized that was probably not a smart thing to do, especially considering they would have to run away in a second. Kyoya could not be pleased by treats.

"Um...morning." Tamaki said awkwardly. He had sandwiched his best friend's fiancé between them. He then pointed at Yuuki, passing the blame over.

The girl stared up at the blonde. "Tamaki. Get off."

"We don't want to startle him." Came the harshly whispered reply.

"Yes. Well. You startled me." She pushed him, hoping it would have an effect.

Kyoya sat up and pushed Tamaki firmer. Along with Yuuki's shove, the blonde stumbled backwards and landed neatly in a chair. The girl turned around and smiled sweetly. She raised a hand in pleasant greeting. "Hi."

The Ootori dropped back to a horizontal position. "Next time..." His voice was hard and cold and threatening. "Next time you bring a dog into the room. Don't. Next time you wake me up. Really don't. If you do, something exceptionally terrible will befall each and every one of you."

Yuuki was the only person who pulled a face at him that wasn't comprised of shock and horror. Kyoya opened an eye and looked at her. He was short sighted so having her close wasn't an issue; he couldn't, however, read the writing on Haruhi's shirt but could imagine her face. His fiancé hadn't moved. She had actually crossed her legs and arms stubbornly and was staring at him. Tamaki was telling her to back away while she still had the chance. Hunny was hiding behind Mori's head, the twins were standing, hands on the door and Haruhi stood, expecting something but not knowing what exactly. She'd never been around Kyoya when he woke up, neither had her friend; they'd just heard the legends about the dramatic event. Yuuki reached behind her and grabbed Kyoya's glasses and held them out to him.

"Wake up." She said flatly. It wasn't a demand, but more a request.

She was answered with a low growl as Kyoya put his arm over his eyes to block out the light.

"Oi." Yuuki poked him in the ribs. "You'll adjust, remember? Wake up." Pause. "Please?"  
"Why?" Came the stark and grumpy reply.

"Because, its morning and you're lying on Tamaki's floor like a drunkard. If you were on a couch, then you could sleep. So move or wake up." It was like Mori dealing with Hunny when he woke up. Everyone else was scared, but the man knew exactly what to expect and how to handle it.

Kyoya rolled onto his stomach and pulled the hood of his jersey up over his head. Yuuki pulled it down gently. "Kyoya."

"No." He hissed. "Go away."

"You're being a child."

"Coming from you."

Yuuki smiled. He was waking up enough to make comebacks. She prodded him again. "Come on. The sun has come out to say good morning!" The girl tried the annoying tactic. "I bet its even smiling for you! And it stopped snowing for you and the sky is blue for you and the birds...are all away because it's too cold but they would be singing for you..." Pause. "I can even get Riki to come say good morning to her favorite boy-band member. Bet she'd love to see you and say hello too..."

Everyone, Cunxin included, got a fright when Kyoya rolled over and sat up sharply. He took his glasses, put them on and glared fire into the souls of everyone. When he got to Yuuki, she threw her arms around him brightly, unafraid of his demonic stare. "Good morning!"

Kyoya was surprised at the opposite reaction to the ones provided by everyone else. He was still in a bad mood however. "Why are you so awake?"

"Because I woke up." She stood up, making him aware that he was the only one who had actually been asleep. Making him aware that everyone was freaked out and on the opposite side of the room. "And everyone else woke up. You're just a low blood pressure demon lord in the morning."

The man growled again and stood up stiffly.

"Oh. You'll adjust." Yuuki ran a hand through her hair and smiled. "I'll adjust too. Then we'll both get up normal time, no?"

Kyoya just stared at her. Tamaki was contagious. It was annoying when he infected the one person who could use it to manipulate him. No one was ever happy around him in the morning. Cautious, yes. Happy, never. Everyone else in the room was breathing again. Tamaki was gaping. "Oh my gosh! IT WAS meant to be!" He embraced his friends.

"Oh my gosh. Touch my again and I'll hurt you." Yuuki said, tensing up, infected no more.

The blonde let go, realizing that both of those he had hugged were not morning people, the girl had just timed her clock wrong and had a generally better temperament. They were both still less than tolerant before ten when they didn't have prior obligations.

Under this epiphany, the host club retreated away to breakfast and put themselves as far away from Hunny and Kyoya as possible, using Yuuki as a barrier. After half an hour, the Ootori was awake enough to say good morning.

"That took way to long." The Cunxin said, sipping a glass or orange juice.

"Learn then. Don't wake me up."

"Or..." She put her glass down. "Wake you up more that you get used to the morning."

"If I don't have to wake up, then I don't."

"Would you wake up for me?"  
Pause. "I guess we'll find out." If he could wake up with her, then surely it would be worth adjusting his clock.

"Just, handle with care when you wake up then, alright?"  
"Alright." Pause. "We're not getting a dog."  
"Agreed." Yuuki shuddered. "Gosh. Why did he even buy that thing?"

"Because it's him in an alternate mammalian form."

"There should never be more than one Tamaki happening at once."

"Agreed."

The blonde looked up at his name. "What about me?"

"Nothing. Just that you're going to die if you wake me up like that again." Kyoya seethed across the table.

Yuuki stared at him. "Be nice. You're awake now."

The man turned and smiled a ghost at her, pushing his glasses up. "He isn't aware of the fact."  
The girl bit a piece of toast in his face as a comeback. She didn't want to defend Tamaki, but she didn't like him being attacked either.

"Just because I have to handle you with care, doesn't mean I have to do the same for him." Kyoya pointed out, taking the piece of crisp bread from her and putting it back on the plate.

Before Yuuki could answer the twins appeared on either side of them. "So, seeing as you scared everyone this morning, does that count as your revenge?"

"What revenge?" Kyoya mocked sweetly.

The girl turned to them. "Oh, boys." She smiled. "You have no idea."

Hikaru and Kaoru stared. If it wasn't the Ootori/Cunxin pairing, then they wouldn't be afraid, they would have actually tried another 'practical joke'. But because it was, they had reason to worry; his meticulous calculations and ability to manipulate with perfection and her quick wit, bright nature and easy charm would create the perfect entity for any act of deviance. They disappeared into a corner where they whispered defense tactics.

"Handle with care." Kyoya said smugly with an undertone of sarcasm.

"Uh." Yuuki corrected. "That only applies to me." Pause. She caught Haruhi's pleading eye. "And Haruhi. On occasion."

Her fiancé smiled and finished her orange juice. "No. Just you." He kissed her temple. "Only you."

-

_I won't bring things up, if upon them you don't touch.  
If that's what you want, it's whatever you want.  
I couldn't be more clear, how day or night I'm here.  
So we'll leave it there, we'll leave it there._

Just never stop singing your song  
I hadn't heard it in so long.  
And if I handle you with care  
It doesn't mean I don't think you are strong.

You say don't worry, but how can I not?  
When once you were everything, and then some more.  
I can't promise not to worry, only not to scratch beneath  
The skin that is so thin, when it comes to me.

Just don't forget it's everything  
That you're not like everyone  
And never stop your singing.  
You're as good as people come.

Whatever we have seen, it's just you and me, I haven't gone.  
You're right to believe, I'll always keep you safe from harm.  
I'll always keep you safe from harm.  
I won't bring things up, if upon them you don't touch.  
If that's what you want, it's whatever you want.

_(If I handle you with care, Trembling Blue Stars)_

_-_

------

_The piano piece. __.com/watch?v=ittjyowKX6Q_

_If you've seen the movie it's from (La Vita e Bella/Life is Beautiful with__ Roberto Benigni__), then it's presence within this story makes a lot more sense. Amazing film. It's so beautiful._

_The final song was really everything I tried to convey, but in a different format. Sort of how they are apart, but at the same time complete with the other. Like...how you can be in a relationship and still be yourself. Which is what it should be. Also, it's about being the one that's not afraid of a reaction or who knows how to handle a reaction. Yuuki knows how to wake him up without getting decapitated; like Mori and Hunny. But still...their only human. More of that discussed in the next chapter. (Which is the Haruhi x Tamaki wedding. ^-^) _

_So...I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please, do tell me what you thought, I value your input a lot. _

_If you have any questions for the author, please don't hesitate to ask. _

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	24. Chapter 22

-

**Chapter 22**

**-**

Yuuki sat with Kyoya on a couch in the Suoh mansion. They were surrounded by travel pamphlets.

"Seychelles." The girl held aloft one of the little travel books. "Private. Pristine. Nice weather in September." It had taken a long time, but the Cunxin was finally getting used to the idea of being a business world celebrity by marriage and a minor model through her fiancé's desire to help her ease into a different life. The honeymoon idea was still a sensitive topic, but she loved travel and Kyoya decided to manipulate it.

The Ootori took the book and flipped through it. "Everyone goes to the beach for their honeymoon. Even Tamaki and Haruhi are going to the beach." The couple were headed to Greece for their trip.

As if on cue, the blonde ran through the house dressed in only in boxers and a singlet and clutching onto various items of clothing. "WHERE ARE MY SWIMMING SHORTS?!"

Kyoya looked up. "Did you go swimming today?"

"Yes."

"Did you have a shower after you went swimming?"

"Yes."

"Did you check the shower?"  
"No." There was a short pause as things clicked into place. Tamaki exploded and ran through the house to the bathroom.

Yuuki looked a little horrified. "I didn't just see that."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Let's hope not."

"Anyway." Moving on. "Paul McCartney went to the Seychelles. We could rent an island or something." Pause. Excited gasp. "We could go cliff diving!"

"Would you cliff dive?"  
Yuuki frowned at him and threw a pamphlet. "I was having a moment. Don't burst it until I think it through."

The man laughed and looked at the offending piece of paper. "Ever thought New Zealand?"

"New Zealand? As in...with all the sheep and rugby?"  
"As in just off peak ski season."

"Skiing?"  
"What?"  
"I suck with a bike, having skis would be a nightmare."

"We'll work something out."

"Like tubing!"

"Or...ski lessons."

"Is it private?"

"You could probably get a private house or something in the mountains near Queenstown."

"Okay. Well. That was easy. We just cut it down to two." Yuuki looked at both locations. "Now to pick one." Hot or cold. Snow or beach.

Kyoya watched her. "Both?"  
"Both?" The girl looked up at him. "Like...spend-a-lot-of-time-on-a-plane both?"

"Well...two weeks one place. Two weeks another. Or a week and a few days...time to get used to the time difference."  
"You would take a month off work?"  
"Well. I couldn't take a month off you, could I?"

"No. Probably not." Came the smug reply.

Tamaki burst into the room with a suitcase and an armful of clothes. "Help me." The pair got covered in a variety of colours and items of clothing. "I'm getting married tomorrow!" The blonde beamed, his hands on his hips.

Yuuki sat cross legged with her hand resting above her eyes and her gaze at the carpet. Kyoya threw something out of the pile at his friend. "Tamaki. Put some pants on."

"Oh." Suoh looked down. "Well...they are boxer _shorts_. So technically their shorts."

"No...Tamaki....just...no."

"Is he decent?" The girl absorbed herself with images of New Zealand.

"Is he ever?" Kyoya shot back.

"Am now!" Tamaki held his hands in the air, a victorious gesture that he was now completely dressed.

Yuuki folded herself off the couch and headed for the door. "Well...it seems he's...calm?...calm enough about tomorrow. I'm going to see the bride-to-be and gauge how much hyperventilating she's doing."

Tamaki glanced up. "Don't keep her out late tonight."

The girl pointed a warning finger at the two men. "Don't drink tonight. At all. Or any night for that matter."

Kyoya looked remarkably haughty. "Oh, don't worry. We can tell the difference between Champaign and Maison."

Yuuki glared. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Yuuki?"

"Yes?"

"Love you."

"I know." She disappeared, leaving both heirs smiling.

Tamaki collapsed on the sofa and began going through the piles of clothes he had transported into the room. "So...did you decide on a location?"

Kyoya held up the two brochures. "Yes."

The blonde took them. "Two places?"  
"Well...she likes privacy so the Seychelles is a good idea. But the snow played an important part in our relationship...so..."

"That's such a cute idea! Haruhi and I decided on Greece because it was in the middle of both places we wanted to go."

"Where did you want to go?"

"I wanted to go to America, she wanted to go to Australia."  
"Australia?"  
"Yeah. I know right. Middle of nowhere."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "She wanted to go to Australia?"

"Something about the best beaches in the world. But its their Autumn now so the beach isn't a good idea. Haruhi also didn't like the idea of America during Spring Break. So we'll do both countries later and go to Greece now."

The Ootori frowned for a moment and then smiled at his friend. "Well, you'll have a good time."

"Of course we will." Tamaki winked. Kyoya rolled his eyes and pulled the suitcase nearer so that he could supervise the excited man's packing. The blonde had been known to pack a ski jacket when going to the beach. Tamaki watched his friend. "Kyoya?"  
"Yes?"  
"Tomorrow..."

"Mmmhmm?"

The blonde pressed his forefingers together. "Um...."

"Your freaking out."

"How did you know?"  
"Short of breath, more jittery than usual, distracted..." The man took a pair of winter boots from the pile of clothes to pack and dropped the behind the couch.

"Are you scared?"

"About what?"  
"When you get married."

There was a short pause. "Not really, no."

"What?!"

"Tamaki. Calm down. Yuuki and I have till September to have become paranoid."

"Will you get paranoid?"

Kyoya waved his hand dismissively. "Not to anyone's obvious attention." It wasn't that getting married unnerved him, but the change associated with it did. He wanted her, he loved her, he couldn't wait to start forever with her but...for some reason unexplained he felt a light unease. A sort of change that was coming. He would be completely himself and she would be completely her, but in being so they would be completely each other. A whole different entity contained within two bodies. And that didn't even make sense. Not to anyone. Yet, things didn't need to make sense to be understood. Nerves didn't need to be bad in order to cause disquiet. It could be caused by the apprehension of joy. An expectation that one hoped to reach. It was the continous, eternity long climb that they had before them. A whole eternity, just them. A promise. Just them. Just them. Always then. Perfection through flaws and the description of forever and a day through something indescribable to everyone but them.

-

_I wanna laugh  
Until I cry  
Wake up with you each day 'till the day that I die  
Let's go to New Orleans  
And watch the parade  
Take funny pictures, eat jambalaya, and drink lemonade  
And when the day is finally over  
And we stumble home  
Before we sleep  
Baby, marry me__(Marry me, Amanda Marshall) _

I wanna drive  
Until we get lost  
Lie in a field staring up at the sky  
While you point out the Southern Cross  
Somehow I know  
Without asking why  
That you love me more in a minute  
Than anyone could in a lifetime

Dancing in the parking lot  
While the band plays inside  
Sweep me off my feet  
Baby, marry me

We don't need no preacher man  
Readin' from the Good Book  
And I don't want no fancy dress  
Ain't no ceremony for the vows that I took  
From the moment I met you  
I have been blessed

So let's make a toast  
And drink up the wine  
Here's to you lying here next to me  
Until the end of time

Wherever you are  
I wanna be  
And anything that means anything to ya  
Means everything to me

Sneakin' out the back door  
While they're throwing the rice  
And they'll talk for weeks  
But we're all we need

So baby, if you're free  
Marry me  
Baby, marry me  
Marry me

-

Yuuki knocked on the door to Haruhi's apartment and was greeted by her father. "Hello, Mr Fujioka. Is Haruhi here?" She didn't mind calling him Mr, even though he was dressed as a woman.

"Yes, yes!" Ranka gushed, he seemed somewhat flustered. "She locked herself in the bathroom an hour ago and won't come out!"

The Cunxin entered the unit and walked through till the back where the bathroom was situated. She knocked softly on the door. "Haruhi? Haruhi, its Yuuki. Can I come in?"

There was a soft click as the door was unlocked. The girl turned to the bride's father and smiled assumingly before slipping into the steamed up room. Haruhi was sitting on the edge of a used bath, wrapped in a towel.

"Hey." Yuuki sat beside her, feeling some displaced water seep through her skirt. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." She nodded. "I'm fine. Just nervous."

"Yeah. I would be too."

Silence. "Really?"  
"Yes."

"Why?"  
"Well..." Yuuki clasped her hands in front of herself. "I don't want to...well, I do, I just..."  
"Freaking out about 'that'."

"Exactly."

"Well...I don't know. What if he doesn't like me?"

"Is that all your worrying about?"

"I worried about everything else before. I know he's the right guy. I love him. But...oh my gosh we're getting married." Haruhi buried her hands in her face. "People say marriage is the end of the relationship."

"Really? I don't think so. I think it's the beginning of a new relationship."

"But I like the old one."

"Well, it would still be the same relationship, only at a different level."

"You think so?"

Yuuki scratched her nose and nodded. "I do think so. I can't wait to marry Kyoya. You can't wait to marry Tamaki. You told me so. Tonight is about your joy at spending the rest of your life with a man you love. It's the beginning of your forever. It's not the end of anything."

"How do you know so much about this? You seem to have it all worked out..."  
"Kyoya likes to work things out." Yuuki smiled. "You would have said exactly the same to me if I was in here in a towel and you were getting your new skirt wet. Although, you would probably break into that horrid song Start of Something New, but I don't have the guts. It works though."

Haruhi laughed. "Thanks."

"Well...I would be lying to say I'm not scared." Yuuki said quietly. "That's natural I guess. We've been conditioned to think marriage is a bit boring. You get married you have kids you die. But, that cant happen to us. Because we're not society, we are us. So...It will work out in the way you let it work out. Whether that be good or bad."  
"I don't like bad."

"You have Tamaki. It won't be bad...it will be, um, interesting."

Haruhi smiled sweetly. "I don't even know why I locked myself in the bathroom."

"Because you're scared."  
"Do you lock yourself in the bathroom when you're scared?"  
"No. But I can't stand fighting. If Kyoya and I fight, I disappear. He once found me in a closet once. Last month actually. We fought about something like the people he needed to invite to the wedding. and I ended up in the closet, hiding from the argument. I didn't want to make him mad."

"Serious?"  
"Very large closet. If the Ootori's had a fourth child that no one knew about they could have lived rather comfortably in it. Or all the wedding guests... But yes. Seriously. And that's something I have to work at."

"I have to work at...patience."

Yuuki wrapped a strand of hair around her finger. "Yeah...I can imagine."

The younger girl sighed. "Well. Alright." She stood up. "Alright. I'm freaking out but I know that this is what I want. I don't know it right now, but I knew it yesterday. I just need to calm down and relax."

"And love Tamaki. He's like a Labrador. A big, blonde, bouncy Labrador. He'll never fail you, even if you think he has. Contagious joy is something you'll have to put up with for the rest of your life, and that can't be as bad as it sounds." Yuuki finished sarcastically.

"You should study psychology."

"I've heard that before."

Haruhi laughed. "Thank you, Yuuki."

"You're welcome." Pause. "Can I borrow some pants? I think I sat in the place you decided to create another bath in."

"Sure." The girl smiled and opened the door. Ranka fell into the room as the steam floated away into the apartment. "Hey dad."

"Hey Haruhi." He said from the floor. "Feeling better?"

"Remarkably."

Yuuki made a thumbs up sign at Haruhi's father who sighed gratefully. As the girl's mother and father, he felt the stress of both. When his daughter had locked herself in the bathroom the day before her wedding, he had flipped out. He didn't know if she was preparing or trying to run away. Probably both. As one who had been through the wedding thing before, Ranka knew how unnerving it could be. "That's good. I set everything up for tonight already."

Yuuki crossed her arms stubbornly. "That was my job."  
"No. Your job is to stand there and smile and say encouraging things."

"I've done that already though."

"Get over it miss De'ja'vous."

Haruhi appeared and tossed a pair of jeans at her friend. "Dad. Get up."

"Alright darling. Let's go make sure everything's ready for you when you wake up tomorrow so that when your friends arrive you don't have to worry about it." He closed the door on his way out, leaving Yuuki in a half steamed bathroom.

The girl looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn't tall, she didn't have a curvy figure, she didn't have blonde hair. Apparently she was the opposite of every man's fantasy. She knew exactly how Haruhi felt. Self conscious and doubtful as to the attraction her fiancé had to her. Kyoya had told her she was beautiful, but she didn't know if she believed that for herself. Sure, she didn't think herself ugly, but the opposite end of the spectrum was just as hard a stretch to imagine. Pretty, cute, lovely. Not beautiful, breathtaking, captivating. Since their Vogue interview, Yuuki had been in a few other shoots for various lines, but nothing outstanding. Just confidence building stuff. Apparently her face photographed well and she moved well, but she didn't know what to think. There had been very little feminine influence in her life and she was lucky to have turned out not afraid of dresses. Her perception of herself was what the world thought. Not what she thought or what Kyoya and her friends thought. It was blurred, unachievable and defined by some material beauty that no one knew the origins of.

It's funny how a guy will worry about commitment and a girl will worry about composure. That's probably why they worked together so well, they overcompensated for the part that the other missed some of. Mars and Venus. Two opposite worlds that worked so well together in one galaxy.

-

Yuuki was sitting on a couch, surrounded by girls, when her phone went off. It was Kyoya.

"Hello?" Pause. "Hold on. It's too loud in here." She escaped outside. "Okay."

"Single ladies?"

"It's a hen's night. Get over it."

"Having fun?"

"Totally." She smiled and put on a playfully sarcastic tone and played with her hair for dramatic effect. "We're all wearing plastic tiaras with little veils attached and baking cookies and listening to single ladies and having pillow fights in our underwear."

Humoured silence.

"I was joking about that last one."

"Yes. I know."

"You rang?"

"Is everything ready for tomorrow?"

"The bride is fine, if that's what you meant. And I'm staying here tonight. You're staying with Tamaki and the..."

"I meant the twins."

"Oh. If their sober now, they won't want to be this time tomorrow."

"They won't be."

Yuuki smiled evilly. "That's terrible...I like it."

"Yes. Thought you might." He laughed quietly.

"Where are you?"

"Outside."

"All partied out?"

"No. Everyone's headed back to Tamaki's for some 'male bonding'."

"Aw. Guy love."  
"Reliving high school."

"That sounds more dangerous than a buck's party." Pause. "Sorry. Bad pun." He was rich, those things happened.  
"Haha. No. We lay on the driveway and looked at the stars before changing grades. The only time we didn't was graduation; and that didn't go well, did it?"  
"No. It didn't."

"Mako called." Abrupt change of topic.

"You?" Her brother had rung her a few times, just to chat. But never her fiancé.

"Yes. He wants to meet you."

"He asked you?"

"Well. You would have said yes straight out."

"Yes. But..."

"We'll talk later. Just letting you know."

"Okay." Pause. "Are you driving?"

Amused silence.

"I'm hanging up."

"Okay. Night."

"Night."

Silence. "Yuuki?"

"Mmm?"  
"I'll see you at the altar."

The girl smiled and hung up on him. The door to Haruhi's apartment flew open and the girl popped her head outside. "What's happening?"

Yuuki put her phone back in her pocket. "Sweet revenge."

"You're getting the twins back at my wedding?"  
"Well...at the reception." She walked back inside. "It's the only place serving alcohol."

Haruhi laughed and shut the door. What better revenge than the original plot? Yuuki rejoined the party..There was only one person in the room she could call a close friend, and only one other besides her existed. He was driving to his best friend's house to look at the stars and just be. To help calm him down in the perfect way for him. It came from knowing and understanding. Very few people actually understood others. When you found someone who understood you, you understood them and nothing else mattered because you didn't need to ask, you didn't need to wonder what that expression meant or have to question why the revenge plot involved a bar tab and not what was in the bar.

_-_

_I wish I knew you  
Way back when  
Before you were part of my plans  
I think that we would have been friends__(You'll always be my best friend, Relient K)_

There's only time to live our lives  
And you'll be the one who's by my side  
And I can promise you then  
You'll always be my best friend

Till the end when we part  
I will give you my heart  
And I'll promise to love you with all that it is  
And I'll promise to be there whenever you need me  
Because you'll always be my best friend

_-_

_Yuuki woke up on the couch the next morning. Ranka was sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee and smiled perkily when she opened her eyes. _

_"Morning dear!" He waved. _

_"Morning..." Came the groggy reply. "What time is it?"_

_"Its seven."_

_The girl's little hello smile disappeared. She groaned and lay back down with her arm across her eyes. "I only went to sleep at four..."_

_"What time did my Haruhi go to sleep?"  
"Um...two."_

_"You stayed up for two hours?"  
"The floor was covered in party streamers and the sink was piled with glasses and plates..."_

_"You cleaned it?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Why?"_

_"Haruhi's not the only person with nerves."_

_Ranka laughed heartily. "Why would you be nervous?"_

_Yuuki looked at him and let her arm fall off the couch and onto the floor as she rolled onto her side. "Because...it's me next. This is like the warm up."_

_"Oh. You'll be fine."_

_"Are you nervous?"_

_"Wouldn't you be if your daughter was marrying Tamaki?"_

_"Point." Pause. "You re-packed her suitcase last night, right?"  
"Yes. You were right; she had packed jeans...for Greece. I don't know why."_

_Yuuki smiled, she knew why. "You think the dresses I got her will fit?"_

_"Probably."_

_"Alright." The girl stood up and stretched. "She needs to be awake at nine. Make-up at ten thirty, hair at eleven thirty, dress at one, car at two, arrival at three thirty. Alter at four."_

_Haruhi's father blinked. "Planner much?"_

_"I learnt from the best." She opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of orange juice and poured herself a glass. "Looking forward to walking your daughter down the aisle?"_

_"I am. She's a short haired version of her mother."_

_"Tamaki's not a short haired version of you though." Yuuki laughed. "Although, he did dress as a woman once..."_

_"As an armature. He's nothing to us professionals."_

_The girl leant against the counter. "Hmm...."_

_Two hours later, the pair burst into the bride's room and bounced on her bed until she woke up. Yuuki grinned. "Wake up, wake up! We've got to get you to the church on time! Wake up!" _

_Haruhi shoved her friend and caused her to topple off the bed. _

_The Cunxin slid her feet into a cross legged position and stared at the sleepy face watching her. "You're going to the chapel and you're going to get married." She sang sweetly._

_The younger girl sat up abruptly. "I'm getting married today. Jehosephat. I'm getting married today." _

_Ranka stood at the door. "Yay!" He clapped. _

_Haruhi stared around and ran a hand through her hair and smiled. "I'm getting married today." _

_Meanwhile, at the Suoh mansion, everyone was sleeping peacefully. Until Tamaki woke up. He ran through the house in his pyjama bottoms until he reached the spare room that Kyoya was staying in. _

_"I'M GETTING MARRIED!" he jumped on his friend's bed. "YAHOO! Mon ami, I'm getting married today!"_

_Kyoya rolled over and stared at the blonde. He groaned and rolled over. _

_"WAKE UP!" Tamaki shook him. "TODAY IS THE DAY!"_

_The Ootori sat up and pulled his glasses on. "Okay. Okay." It was his friend's wedding day, he couldn't kill him. "Valium?" _

_The blonde sat on his feet. "I'm so happy!" _

_"Yes. I can see that." _

_"It's your turn next."_

_"Yes."_

_"And I'll run through the halls and wake you up then too. Only, you won't be grumpy. You'll be happy." Tamaki put his fingers on Kyoya's face and forced his mouth into a smile. "Smile for me mon ami."_

_The Ootori pulled the blondes hands away and swung his legs over the bed. "Today is your wedding, I agree with everything you say and do everything you want me to."_

_Tamaki stared. "No conditions?"_

_Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "Congratulations."_

_-_

_Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married_

Gee I really love you  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel of love

Spring is here, The sky is blue  
Birds all sing, Like they do  
Today's the day  
We'll say "I do"  
And we'll never be lonely anymore

Because we're  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married

Gee I really love you  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel of love

Bells will ring  
The sun will shine  
I'll be hers  
And she'll be mine

_We'll love until  
The end of time  
And we'll never be lonely anymore__(Going to get married, Various)_

Because we're  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married  
Going to the chapel  
And we're gonna get married

_-_

Yuuki stood at the altar across from Kyoya and held her little bouquet. Three were a couple hundred people packing the ancient church chosen by the soon to be Suoh couple. All of whom were staring at Tamaki, not the best man or maid of honour. The blonde was beaming. He was like a little sun that had descended from the sky and landed inside the building. He was also about to leap out of his skin from waiting.

The host club filled the first pew, gleaming in new suits and bright smiles. The twins looked a little uncomfortable, they knew something was coming. Yuuki caught Kyoya's eye and smiled. He returned the gesture and then nodded at the door. It was beginning. There was a creaking noise as everyone turned in the pews to see the doors at the back of the church open. A little girl holding a basket of petals walked down, she forgot her task and didn't distribute the roses. Halfway she remembered and dropped large fistfuls of petals in chunks along the aisle. Then a pair appeared in the door.

Ranka was dressed as a man for the first time in years; in order to uphold the status the classes in the room had set. Haruhi had a hand through his arm and was smiling in a shy manner. People were whispering.

"Oh...isn't she lovely?...that dress is amazing...I wonder what perfume she's wearing..."

Haruhi was beautiful. Her short hair was decorated with small white flowers and trimmed with white lace that signified the beginning of a veil that fell gently across her joyous face. The dress was perfect. The shoes were perfect. The setting was perfect.

Yuuki watched the little brunette blush her way to the side of her fiancé and take his hand in her own. Her father lingered for a moment before sitting down, his eyes moist. He was handing over his daughter. She was no longer his, but she belonged to another. Yuuki wondered if her own father would have ever felt that way for her and doubted it.

The ceremony started. The couple didn't take their eyes of each other once. It was obvious that they loved each other, it radiated around the room and bounced off the walls, it reverberated through the aisle and through the pews. The 'I do's' sunk into each member of the audience and confirmed something known to all but misunderstood by many. The Ootori's breathing quickened as he realised who would be saying those two words next. It would be him next. September seemed so far away. So lax in coming. If he could speed time up, he would. Their day would be different. The atmosphere would be them. It would be warm, like Tamaki's, but not as bright. It wouldn't be tangible to anyone except himself and the bride. It would be slightly mysterious; the things no one else knew but that the other understood. It would be so deep that the end was not visible, if it ended at all. Tamaki and Haruhi had created a setting that would last eternity for them, it defined them. But it defined no one else. And that was what Kyoya and Yuuki had been the whole time they had been together. Intangible.

"You may now kiss the bride." The ministers voice joined them officially.

Tamaki didn't hesitate a moment. Yuuki looked at Kyoya. He was watching his friends, a soft smile playing across his face. He was happy. He approved. If he approved, then he had calculated it. He had weighed it and found it good. And it was obviously that. The Ootori looked up and met her eye across the room. His smile spread a little more. Tamaki broke the kiss and grabbed his best man's hand as everyone else clapped. He embraced the other man. Haruhi grabbed Yuuki's fingers and smiled.

"Congratulations." The Cunxin said warmly.

"We did it."

"You did it." The smiling was contagious.

Haruhi disappeared back down the aisle as Tamaki pulled her towards the door. Kyoya took Yuuki's now empty hand and followed the couple out. They would be in the car following to the photo location and then again on the way to the reception.

"Next time..." He put his mouth close to her ear to talk above the applause and to avoid the confetti.

"I know." Yuuki glanced up. "Next time."

Kyoya kissed her temple briefly before breaking into the sunlight of outside behind the newlyweds. Next time.

_-_

The reception was in a giant hotel that overlooked a lakefront. There were birds playing in the water as the sun set and dragonflies buzzing everywhere. Spring had sprung. Just like love.

Hikaru and Kaoru waited.

Yuuki watched them from her seat beside Kyoya at the groom's table. Only the maid of honour, the best man, the bride, groom and the parents of such were allowed there. "They have no idea."

"No idea." The Ootori replied smugly. "But one wouldn't in these circumstances."

The girl smiled haughtily. "Well...that's your job. Isn't it?"

"Patience. Patience, dear." His tone was light.

Haruhi and Tamaki were sitting close beside them, completely closed off to everyone except themselves.

"Are we like that?" Yuuki asked.

"Like what?"

She pointed at the newlyweds.

"No."

"What are we?"

"Us. You. Me."

"We can't be defined by anything?"

"I thought that. But no. I've realised that we cannot be defined by anything but ourselves."

"It's funny how that only applies here."

"Well, if it applies here, then it applies to everywhere else. Because here decides the rest of your life."

"Thanks Ghandi."

Kyoya laughed. "See anything you like? Any inspiration?"

"I'm surrounded by Vera Wang, Couture, Royal Dalton...and its glorious." Pause. "But I'm not copying this wedding."

"Mm?"

"I was thinking...somewhere in the country. In a big white tent, with an oak tree inside hung with lights. Head table below it."

"A tent so big it can hold an oak tree?"

"I saw it done on Oprah." Yuuki looked over the rim of her glass and spoke matter-of-factly.

"Is that so?" Kyoya replied.

"Mmm. It was warm and passionate and made a lasting effect."

"Just like you."

"Well...I was thinking just like you."

"No one except you and maybe Tamaki thinks I'm a warm person."  
"Well, no one else knows you like we know you." Yuuki smiled.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled, turning back to face the mass of people in front of him. He rose and tapped his glass to begin the round of speeches. "Excuse me. May I have your attention please." It was not a question. He commanded the room thanks to years of Host Club practice and business experience. "Thank you. Well, we all know why we're here today." Pause. "Tamaki is the most unconventional man I have ever met." Small round of laughter. "And Haruhi is one of the brightest, most beautiful people I know." The happy couple were beaming. "And I know that their union was not one expected from birth, but it was one expected from heart. And it is one I know will last." He raised a Champaign glass at his friends. "Congratulations." The room followed suit and clapped. Before Kyoya sat down he gained the attention of the hundreds of attendee's first. It was not a small wedding. "And. On another note." He turned his gaze to the twins. "I would like to send my thanks, on behalf of the room, to the Hitachiin twins who have graciously opened a TAB for anything your require tonight. Please feel free to use all resort facilities at their expense." He sat down as another round of applause circled the room.

Tamaki leaned over. "But Kyoya..." He whispered. "...you're paying the TAB...This is your resort..."

The Ootori smiled roguishly in his own sly manner. "I'm getting paying back with the TAB. You'll find it's quite different."

Yuuki looked at the twins. They were horrified. Every meal, every drink, every napkin, every broken crystal glass, every cracked vase, every ounce of crust need, everything in the room that night was charged to them. Everything. And the guests, knowing they were not paying themselves, would manipulate the fact. Toy with Kyoya; expect your savings to be depleted at a rate faster than one playing Lady Luck at a casino.

Haruhi was humorously horrified. "You two..."

"Hey. They started it." Yuuki said in defence.

"They pay tenfold for what they did to both of you." Kyoya leant back and watched the room.

"I don't think Maison costs that much." Came the startled reply.

The man just laughed, deep and low, while his fiancé smiled. "Don't worry Haruhi. Just enjoy yourself. We're just tying up an odd end that Deedle De and Deedle Dum left untied." Yuuki said in a light tone. "We all know they have enough money for it. We wouldn't have done it unless they were amply prepared."

Haruhi leant back. It was true. Any Ootori or Ootori to be wouldn't suck the money out of someone if it sucked the life out of them too. Everything had been planned for maximum displeasure with minimum long term discomfort. The twins just wouldn't be able to buy any new clothes from high range for a month or so. They looked royally pissed at the fact. Especially when Hunny ordered a cake for himself that was almost as large as the extravagant, six tier wedding cake.

Tamaki and Haruhi managed to cover each other in their dessert whilst doing the traditional feed-your-partner thing. They did manage to drink properly though. Maison. They were happy. Overjoyed. Contagious. Anything the Suoh and his new wife did was infectious. This meant that Kyoya got cake on his face too.

"Let them eat cake." Yuuki said laughing at his reaction.

"No more French Revolution. No more cake." He wiped his face. "How did you miss?"  
"Yeah, you do have a pretty big mouth at times."

He smiled. "You're being incredibly conceited this evening."

"As are you. Twin thing, very good."

"It was excellent."

Yuuki crossed her arms and looked across the room at the Hitachiin's as they tried to convince people that the cheap wine was the best. "We make a great team."

"We do."

She turned around. "We should get jerseys." Her eyes glimmered in the moment before she looked deeply thoughtful. "But yours would look better than mine; you're out of my league."

Kyoya laughed and put the cake he had been trying to feed her down. He wouldn't get revenge tonight. Handle with care was still a treaty that was intact. "No I'm not. What did Jane Austen say?"

"He is a gentle man, I am a gentleman's daughter..."

"So far, we are equal."

"Yes. But I don't have a father."

Kyoya watched Ranka across the room. "You were still born to the family of a gentleman."

"At least there's no handover."

"Hm?"

"From father to groom."

"Oh. Yes. Tachi will feel some loss I'm sure."

Yuuki smiled. "I'm looking forward to it." Pause. "Every day I spend with you is the new best day of my life."

The Ootori stared at Tamaki and Haruhi as they tried to clean each other's faces but ended up failing for their blissful laugher. "That's cliché."

"Cliché is sometimes right." The Suoh had been cliché all his life, and it had defiantly worked for him. He had the bride of his dreams and a life he wasn't afraid of.

"I guess I'm just fortunate to have found you." He had never been before her and never would be without her. He had never understood that until she had left him. And neither had she.

"It's time for the dance." Yuuki said, leaning against him as Tamaki led Haruhi to the dance floor. _Everything_ by Michael Buble began to play. It was the groom's gift to his bride. Everything he had said over the years and the things he would say in those to come condensed into their song.

As the music progressed, other couples took the floor. Old couples, young couples. Mothers, fathers, children; all the different kinds of affection united by one pair's union. One pairs gift to each other that had spread through the room. That was Haruhi and Tamaki. They were more than each other, they were everyone else as well.

_You're a carousel, you're a wishing well..._ Hunny appeared with Mori. Big cousin, little cousin. A different form of love, but a love indeed.

_And you light me up, when you ring my bell..._The twins. Familial love.

_You're a mystery, you're from outer space, you're every minute of my everyday..._Kyoya and Yuuki joined the throng. A love so mysterious and deep that it stretched through time and space before it even reached a knowledge of what they were and what they had become together.

_And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,  
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can._

Tamaki kissed Haruhi long and deep, disbelieving that she was his. The girl held him tighter, just because she could. Just because she loved him. They didn't see eye to eye on everything and were full of annoying habits, but they had found each other and had worked. It worked and they were prepared to make it work.

_Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,  
And you know that's what our love can do._

Kyoya watched his friend dance with his wife. He watched his friends dance with each other. He watched Yuuki dance with him. She had her head pressed lightly against the side of his, at the base of his jaw with her cheekbone. Yuuki wasn't afraid anymore of marrying him. She saw her friends and through them saw what she and Kyoya had. It was different, but it was just as happy. Most people in the modern world don't consider marriage as lasting. There is always a dissention in that discussion. But they knew it would last. That knowledge through everything they had been through proved it, it gave them power and confidence. She had always known eternity wouldn't be a feat for them, but it would have its ups and downs. That's what worried her. Yuuki didn't like to argue with Kyoya. She hid from those situations. She still would, but it didn't seem to matter. She wanted to be with him and give herself to him forever and not care what the world said or thought or believed because what they had gossiped had never mattered in their personal reality. You could not love without trust and trust had always been Yuuki's biggest downfall. But she trusted him. She trusted him with all of her life, forever and ever. And he believed in her for eternity.

People in the room didn't like their pairing. They didn't like Tamaki and Haruhi's pairing either. It was not to their standard. The media sometimes even called at the oddity of the 'Prince and the Pauper' and 'The gentleman and his woman'. No one saw how love could come out of that. Not love of convenience like the rest of the world. Maybe they were just jealous; they could see something greater than anything most people had experienced, and probably hadn't themselves.

-

_  
And I know that it's so cliché to tell you that everyday  
I spend with you is the new best day of my life  
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust  
It's Jealously, they can see that we've got it going on__(Must have done something right, Relient K)_

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way  
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say  
You're OK with the way this is going to be  
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could  
All I gotta say is I must've done something good  
I came along one day and you rearranged my life  
All I gotta say is I must've done something right  
I must've done something right

Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe  
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me  
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way  
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside  
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us  
That we have got something real good going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way  
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say  
You're OK with the way this is going to be  
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could  
All I gotta say is I must've done something good  
I came along one day and you rearranged my life  
All I gotta say is I must've done something right  
I must've done something right

_-_

"Those poor, unfortunate souls." Yuuki looked at Hikaru and Kaoru as the night drew to a close.

"They saw it coming." Mori said deeply. Hunny sat beside him, enjoying the benefits of the TAB and its dessert menu.

"Yes...but they look miserable."

"You looked miserable as you emptied your stomach into the toilet." Kyoya said flatly.

"Yes...but..."

"No buts."

"Ye..."

"Yuuki. You liked the idea. Remember?"

"Y..."

"Uh."

"B..."

"Uh."

"K..."

"No."

The girl had been uneasy ever since Haruhi and Tamaki had taken their leave. She had remembered why she was scared of her wedding day when they left and held her friend tight before letting her disappear with her husband.

Yuuki scowled at her fiancé. "Fine. They deserve it."  
"No we did not." The twins said in unison behind Kyoya, their hands on their hips. "We didn't do anything half as bad or expensive as this!" They had to maintain face and carry through with the deal.

"Well...not according to you." The Ootori shot back.

"You just cost us a whole function with Fashion Weekly!"  
Hunny looked up. "You cost Yuu-Chan and Haru-Chan a considerable amount of discomfort."

"You should have stuck to the Which one is Hikaru? Game." The blonde's cousin finished.

Hikaru and Kaoru collapsed onto the empty chairs at the table. They were last ones in the room. They were the ones who could dwell on their friends. Where they had been. Where they were.

"They got married..." Twin one said.

"Always expected it. But it finally happened." Twin two finished.

Yuuki smiled. "It's good." It was good.

"It's peculiar." Kyoya said in his calculating tone.

"Peculiar?" Hunny was still very awake thanks to all the sugar.

"Two households, both alike in dignity...From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean." The girl quoted.

Everyone turned to Kyoya for a translation. "She means that he's very upper class and she's a commoner. In normal circumstances they would have never met, never fallen in love, never married. They don't often associate unless it's a tense, unhappy occasion. And yet, they are both of the same bred. Both alike in dignity. Both human." Pause. "Yuuki also has a thing for Shakespeare."

She pulled a face at him.

"Oh." Came the chorus around the table. Twin one lent on the white cloth, he was tired and suddenly much stressed. "Well...that's very profound of you." His tone was sarcastic.

"Thank you." Yuuki ignored his tone. "How was your lamb?" She teased, driving their revenge deeper.

"Skewered." Twin one.

"One sympathises." Twin two. They'd paid for it.

There was a long silence. It didn't feel like anything was missing, not for long anyway. Tamaki and Haruhi wouldn't be away for too long and when they returned they would still be members of the Host Club, they would still be friends.

Hunny didn't seem to realise this though. "Where are Haru-chan and Tama-chan?" He looked around. They had never all been together and then suddenly apart for an extended period of time during the course of an evening.

Yuuki put her head in her hands. If she had to avoid the where babies come from talk again, she would be tempted to leap of a bridge. How did he not know anyway? Mori was acting parent here. He could do it. "They went upstairs."'  
"Can we go upstairs too?"  
"No."

"Why? I miss Haru and Tama-chan."

"They don't miss you." The twins shot back wickedly.

"What? Why?"

"Okay." Yuuki stood up. "Good evening." She didn't want to be the only girl surrounded by guys making lewd jokes at the topic of love making. Just the topic gave her enough reason to want to leave before getting shy or embarrassed or both. "Thanks for the TAB boys."

The twins growled at her. They had lost A LOT of money that evening. A Kyoya trick at its best. They wouldn't even consider getting anyone drunk ever again; which had ultimately been the point of the exercise.

Mori and Hunny said goodnight before the blonde plunged into a line of questions and was answered with innuendo. Kyoya appeared at Yuuki's side and lead her to where his car was parked.

"Good show. That's that."

"That's that..." The girl said quietly.

"What's wrong?"  
"Nervous."

"About?"

"Our wedding day." Pause. "Wedding night." Pause. "Scared." This was a topic that engaged couples should address, she knew that, it was just very hard and awkward.

Kyoya wrapped an arm around her waist. "Why?"  
"Because..."

"Best excuse of the day."

"I'm not making excuses. I'm just...um...okay. Sorry."

"For what?"  
"Bringing it up." Awkward.

"No. I'm glad you did." Kyoya opened the car door and guided her inside. "It means you're getting better at this."

"No..." She said as he climbed into the driver's seat. "I um..." Yuuki locked her thumbnails under each other. "It just seems so...uh...close."

The Ootori looked at her. "It's not like you have a personal bubble anymore."

The girl laughed lightly. "We share now, do we?"  
He grinned.

"Yes. But...I don't want to make you...unhappy. In any way."

"You couldn't if you tried."

"When I left that time though, surely that made you unhappy?"  
"Yes. Of course. But you came back." Pause. "You didn't make me unhappy in doing that. I made myself unhappy in causing that. It was never you; it was the loss of such."

"Okay."

"Hm?"  
"No. I just..."

"I know." He glanced at her. He did know. To a certain extent. Men live in their bodies, women are their bodies. It was a lot more personal for them. Women thought differently, they functioned differently; they were relations and emotions based. Men had emotion and liked relationships, but their processes differed to that of their counterparts. They compensated for the female overcompensation and vice versa.

"Okay. The sex talk is like...weird now. Just drive." Yuuki leant sleepily on the windowpane. Kyoya laughed.

He pulled up to their house, half furnished but done enough so to live in. They had kitchen appliances, ducted air conditioning, decorative lights, a couch, a mostly full bookcase and a TV. Just like the apartment in London, only bigger. The sofa was absolutely, abhorrently huge. It was the kind that had a right angle built into it that one could lie flat on. It was also comfortable enough to be a bed. And was used as such by Yuuki. The bed they had ordered from Pottery Barn didn't arrive for another week, along with the desks, the dining room table, the study couches, the ottomans, floating counters, stools and other items. Everything else was coming from other stores and some people from IKEA had been hired to put it all in place.

Zero was comfortably housed in the new stable, paddock and working yard arrangement a hundred meters from the house.

The girl appeared at the balcony over the void after a shower and found Kyoya looking through the book she was currently reading. "It's really good." She said, descending the stairs.

"La's Orchestra Saves the World." He read the title.

"Mmhmm..." She put the book she had finished back in the bookcase. Her fiancé smiled at how she did it. The top shelf was too far away, so Yuuki had piled a few encyclopaedias to form a makeshift step until the library ladder arrived.

"That's resourceful."

The girl looked down. "Ha. Yeah."

Kyoya stood in front of her; she was now almost his height. "You prefer being tall?"

"Yes." She replied audaciously.

"I don't really." He pressed his forehead against hers. "It's not you."

"You like leaning over to say hello?"

"You're not that vertically challenged."

"No, I'm not. But it's not a stretch to imagine."

"I wouldn't even call you short. You're just below average." Pause. "For the only time in your life."

Yuuki smiled softly and breathed softly against him. "Well...that would be a stretch to imagine for you."

"Mm." Kyoya rested a hand on her waist and let the other linger along her jawbone.

"Tamaki and Haruhi looked so happy."

"They were."

"Were you happy?"  
"Yes." Pause. "I'll be euphoric on our wedding day."

"Me too." Yuuki kissed him sweetly. She felt odd being almost level with him. He was right, it wasn't her. It wasn't them. It was just convenient. She came up to a point just above his shoulder. Not much, but enough to claim so. And it was right.

Kyoya cradled her gently before the phone started ringing. It was cordless and sitting on the bookcase, in front of Jane Austen and Jodi Picoult. "Hello?" He didn't let her go. "Yes. Yes. She's here. Maybe. We'll discuss it. Okay. Yes, it was a good day. No. No. I'm not decided. Thank you for understanding. Good night." Click.

"Who was it?"

"You're brother."

"He has the home number?" Pause. "I didn't say hello?"  
"Yes. I gave it to him so that you could talk more. I still don't want you meeting him yet. He understands how protective I'm being with your family."

"Why?"

"Because, your father played the familial love card and hurt you more than I ever did. I don't want that for you."

"But Mako's not my father. And I wouldn't meet him alone, you'd be there." She obviously wanted to. The need for family was still strong. "I'm an aunt to a child I've never met." Yuuki played with the hair behind his head. "Please?"

Kyoya paused. She knew how to manipulate him. Or at least distract him. "Later. It's very late."

"Please?"  
"Yuuki. Don't push it."

"He's my brother. I'll meet him if I want too."

He sighed. "I'm going to be there. I'm going to decide the place. You're going to behave."

"Do I ever not behave?"

The Ootori raised an eyebrow and lifted her off the book-step and set her to normal height. "Good night, Yuuki."  
"Good night, Kyoya." She smiled and stood on her toes to kiss him goodbye.

Kyoya kissed the top of her head in return. "Next time it'll be us."

Yuuki leant against the door frame as he headed to his car. "Next time." With them. With their meaning. Their inexplicable format. Something people didn't believe in, but that existed in a real way to those who knew of its reality on earth. And in their reality. In their world and through their flawed perfection.

_-_

_If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning._

_(C.S Lewis, Mere Christianity)_

_-_

_--------_

_Exploring different perceptions of marriage and love. I'm fortunate enough to have friends who will discuss that sort of thing without being immature...most of the time. Haha. _

_Anyway. Tamaki and Haruhi got married. ^-^ Yay. The chapter was about Kyoya and Yuuki (it's their story) but I love the TamakixHaurhi pairing. It just clicks in such a fun way._

_Kyoya and Yuuki got their revenge. ^-^ TAB for a couple hundred of the upper class with no perception of cheap. Oh...the funds that would have sucked._

_And yes, I like the thought of Shakespeare and James Bond. I hate discussing sex. It makes me so awkward and uncomfortable. I'm sorry if it makes you so too, but its relevant and not really anything to be ashamed of; even though I'm completely bashful when it comes to 'the topic.' If you read 1984 (George Orwell) or watch V for Vendetta (Don't unless your 15. It is MA for a reason; violence and swearing...it's a political thriller kind of thing, very interesting, very well written) they show that sexuality is more than sex; it's an expression of something deeper. Which is really what Yuuki believes and is why she's so worried about it. And that's what I wanted to convey. Okay. Awkward. Hope it made sense and I hope you liked the chapter. Please tell me what you thought. :)_

_Blessings, _

_-pp_

_P.S. This chapter is as long as a chapter for a novel. Is this a problem? Is it difficult to read something thats 20 pages long? Please, do tell. I can cut it down. It is hard to write that much in a day, but I love doing it now that I have a few days off. So...please...let me know. _

_xo_


	25. Chapter 23

-

**Chapter 23**

**-**

Spring blended into summer and Tamaki returned with his new bride and settled into a life of marital bliss. Which...is all good and well for them, but it makes everyone else around them slightly nauseous.

"Kodak moment." Yuuki said in a lightly mocking tone as the newlyweds laughed over some personal joke that no one else understood.

"Be nice." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Do you want that said about you?"  
"No. But no one will."

"Hmm?" He was reading a newspaper.

"We're different to the spontaneity of spring love." The girl motioned the bubbly couple.

"Uhuh."

"I mean...you don't even like cashews." Pause. She frowned. "Which is weird."

Kyoya laughed. "How is that relevant?"

"Its like the 'boiled peas' thing." She used her fingers as hyphens.

Tamaki, Haruhi, Kyoya and Yuuki were at a cafe, meeting up in the middle of weddings.

"So..." Mrs Suoh leant forward across the table. "How's juggling bouquets, cutlery and colour schemes?"

The Cunxin ran a hand through her hair. "Its..." Sarcastic. "Fantastic!"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow. "You're not in a good mood today."

"Stressed?" Tamaki offered.

"PMS." Yuuki shot back to shut him up. He didn't get it.

"What's..."

"Anyway." Haruhi laughed sweetly, dismissing her husband's confusion. "Wasn't someone handling all your arrangements?"  
"I have to choose." Yuuki pinched her nose. Wedding planning was something girls dreamed of all their lives. But they didn't realise that it was like dreaming about a drop in the stock market and waiting for the results of a job application all at once. "I have to choose and he won't help."

"I help." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"Yes. By paying."

"You organise everything except your wedding."

"I organised the engagement party."  
"Yes. And that went down like a tonne of bricks."

"It did not."

"It did. There were hundreds of people there."

"And that means its instantly a disaster." He said sarcastically. "You're just stressed. You applied for university, Tachi's riding _your_ horse in an event _you_ won last time. You..."

"Okay. That's not helping."

Haruhi pushed a cup of tea at her friend. "You can't him to be involved. Men were raised with the perception that the wedding is the girl's job."

"Inaccurate perception." Yuuki glanced at Kyoya as he glanced at the finance section. "You're coming to register gifts."

"Oh. That's fun!" Tamaki clapped and then became suddenly serious. "But don't let Hikaru and Kaoru help. They scan all the ugly stuff."

His wife laughed and remembered something hideous they had received as a wedding gift.

Kyoya folded the paper and put it down. "Yes. I know. I'll help with that." Pause. "It's not like we haven't furnished the whole house yet or anything."

His fiancé scowled. "But it's such a nice house."

It was a nice house. It had turned out very well. The walls were painted white and trimmed by the mahogany windowpanes and complimented by deep, engraved doors. The half wall that signalled the void above the lounge was painted a soft gold, a colour that carried through to provide a warm tone and accentuate the views from the big windows. There were books everywhere. The study, the lounge, the kitchen, the bedroom. Magazines were a bathroom thing and many had been dropped into a full bath already. The piano was the crowning glory of the private lounge attached to the study. Kyoya had bought paintings when he had gone to Paris for a conference and had helped Yuuki put up the big, thick, campaign coloured curtains. It was light, spacey and homey.

"Well. I wouldn't know. I've never lived in it." Kyoya leant back.

"In time." Yuuki dismissed him with a wave. She hadn't slept the night before; she had been writing wedding invitations.

"Okay. We'll do the gift register today."

"It wasn't negotiable."

"Can I come?" Tamaki looked pleading.

Haruhi petted his arm. "I think we should let them do it."  
"Why?"

"Because, you'd pick the things I like and then I won't get them." She smiled, diverting the attention from the task of best man to the task of husband.

"Do you want to go shopping?"  
"I don't really like shopping."

"Do you want some new things? I like to buy you new things."

"You don't have to buy me anything."

"Want to go get ice-cream?"  
Haruhi laughed sweetly. "Yes."

Yuuki and Kyoya watched their friends chat. Tamaki turned his bright eyes on the pair. "Ice-cream?"  
The Ootori seemed a little disgusted. Yuuki really didn't feel like it. But she loved ice-cream and had _Get Kyoya to eat it_ on her 'before I die' list. It would probably be the death of her. "No, thanks. You guys go...frolic."

Tamaki pulled his wife to her feet and spun her under his arm. "Okay." He continued to spin her outside and then got a small talking to as a result of dizziness.

"They're so cute." Yuuki put her chin in her hands.

"Cute?" Kyoya put his coffee cup down and realised Tamaki had left him the bill. "More annoying."

"Haruhi isn't annoying."  
"No, but her 'better half' is." He pulled his wallet out.

Yuuki stopped him. "I've got it." She reached into her bag.

Her fiancé got there first. "Do the words 'joint account' ever flash through that mind of yours?"

"Not really. I never use it."

"You should be using it."

"For what?"

"The wedding."

"I can buy my own dress. And flowers. And..."

"Yuuki. Start using the account." Kyoya paid with his money and stood to his feet, offering a hand.

The girl took it. "You, offering free money?"

"Money is never free."  
"It is for you."

He smiled. "Most days." Kyoya wrapped his arm around her waist and lead her back into the real world.

-

An hour later, they were both walking around a giant, very expensive, department store with little scanners.

"Ooo...." Yuuki scanned a vase.

"Do you need a vase?"

"It's not just a vase. It's the object that will hold the flowers you bring home spontaneously because you want to show me how much you love me." She scanned a pot. "And this isn't just a pot. It's the place I will cook Christmas, birthday and anniversary dinner."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Okay...it's where someone else will cook Christmas, birthday and anniversary dinner." She pointed the scanner at him to prove a point. "But I'll be there."

"Can you cook?" He asked sceptically.

"I used to help Suki all the time."

"In what way?"  
Pause. "I made the iced water."

"Yes. I thought as much."

"I'll learn."

Kyoya stared at an ornamental lamp. His fiancé added a whole bunch of sheets, bedding, pillow cases and forks to their register while he looked at it. Just because they were close by.

She noticed him still looking at the lamp and scanned it. "I love lamp." End quote.

"Do you even like it?"  
"No." She pressed the button on her scanner while pointing it at him. It made a bright beeping noise. "But this is fun."

"Let me guess. It could be the lamp that we read books under and hide in corners because we're too ashamed to let people see it?"

Yuuki turned around and scowled at him. "Yes. And this is the towel that we will use the day I have an argument with that annoying tap in the bathroom. And this is the set of knifes we will use on special occasions. And this is the tea set...that we already have. But everyone wants another, right?"  
Kyoya pried the scanner out of her hands. "Okay. Enough."

"There are a whole bazillion...yes...a bazillion....people coming. They need gifts to buy. Let me scan." She tried to take it back.

Her fiancé held it just above her reach. "Only if you scan things we need."

"We don't need anything."

"Things that people usually buy for weddings. Manchester, towels, bathroom decorations..."

"Like blenders." Yuuki got the object back and bleeped a blender. "...and toasters." Bleep. "GHD hair straightener..." Two bleeps. "A dress." Bleep. "A tie." Bleep, bleep. "That coffee machine." Bleep.

Kyoya took the scanner back and put it in his pant pocket. She scowled at him. He just pushed his glasses up and walked off.

"You're crushing my fun."

"You're overloading the house. Just because you can have something, doesn't mean you have too."

"Have you seen the linen closet? It's empty. But then again, you never look in the linen closet...we don't even own a vacuum cleaner."  
"Then go attack those items."

"Okay." Yuuki held her hand out. Kyoya didn't give her scanner back. He just walked over to the nearest pile of pillows and scanned the best one. His fiancé looked remarkably unhappy. "Kyoya..."

"What?"

"Please?"

He put a hand on his hip and put his weight through one leg, eyebrow raised.

"Please...?"

Kyoya took her toy back out and offered it. When she went to take it he pulled it back. "Vacuum cleaner."

"Okay." She took it and then scanned the nearest thing. Which just happened to be an ornamental pig. Seeing her fiancé's dissaproving face, she clutched her scanner and hurried off to the opposite end of the store, bleeping the whole way. Kyoya pushed his glasses up, smiled slightly and sighed. She would be an adventure to say the least. At least she'd relaxed a bit. He knew the main reason for her jittery annoyance. They were meeting her brother the next day. He didn't like the idea, and she didn't like that. She wanted him to like her brother, but she wanted to like him too. Kyoya had never been wrong with her and his caution was understood.

The Ootori stood silently behind Yuuki as she tried to decide between a red coffee cup set or a black one. She had no idea that he was so close. When she turned around after scanning a brown set, she got a small fright and then grinned sheepishly. "We need coffee mugs?"

Kyoya laughed monosyllabically as she hugged him, trying to gain his favour. "Alright."

"Alright?" She stared up at him.

"I know why you're being fanatical."

"Mm..."

"I'll be there when he's there."

"Okay."

"If he's like your father..."

"He won't be. I hope he won't be." Yuuki was more afraid that she didn't know her brother enough to know his personality.

Kyoya ran his fingers down her shoulder blade. She had a singlet on and the little scar on the back of her shoulder could be noticed by those who knew it was there. "How was Zero this morning?"

"Fast." She smiled at the subject change. They had done speed control training.

"Have fun?"  
Yuuki nodded. "I had fun. I like riding because I can, not because I have too."

"I like working because I can, not because I couldn't."

"That was stupid. You trying to come third."

"Thank you."

"No." She laughed. "Why would someone like you not try to be their best?"  
"I could ask the same of you." Kyoya leant back and looked her in the face. "Just be Yuuki." He meant for tomorrow, for the wedding, forever.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." She cringed. "Yes. I meant yes."

Kyoya laughed and used his spare arm to scan the nearest thing. He didn't even care what it was anymore. If it made her happy, then he was happy doing it. Within reason.

-

_Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?_

_Thou art more lovely and more temperate:_

_Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,_

_And summer's lease hath all too short a date:_

_Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,_

_And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;_

_And every fair from fair sometime declines,_

_By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;_

_But thy eternal summer shall not fade_

_Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;_

_Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,_

_When in eternal lines to time thou growest:_

_So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,_

_So long lives this and this gives life to thee._

_(Sonnet XVII, William Shakespeare)_

_-_

Yuuki woke up to the sound of a car arriving on the gravel driveway. She sat up and looked at the time. It was six. She had a training session at seven. The girl swung her legs over the bed and walked into the private, upstairs lounge. It afforded a view of the drive. Yuuki almost had a heart attack when she saw Kyoya's car sitting there. She pulled her jodhpurs and boots on in record time and flew down the stairs as he walked through the door.

"Are you unwell?" She held a hand to his forehead.

"No." He was grumpy.

"Is everyone else okay?"  
"Yes."

Pause. "Why are you here?"

"Adjusting." He collapsed into a seat in the foyer and leant his head against the wall.

"To what?"  
"To mornings."

Yuuki smiled. "Okay. I'll applaud you later. Coffee in the kitchen. The machine should turn itself on and stay warm from seven until nine, but you can go use it. But if you reset it, set it back, it took two hours to get it to do what I want it to."

Kyoya opened one eye and made a small noise of understanding. Then he realized they would have two coffee machines if someone bought one from the register. Even so, he was to asleep to argue. He'd had to wake up to drive and that should impress her enough. She wanted him to wake up earlier; he wanted her to wake up later. The Ootori was trying to get used to a lifestyle he'd need to start to make this work properly. Sacrifice for the other, get more in return. Yuuki kissed him on the forehead and disappeared through the house to the back door and out to the stable, laughing quietly to herself.

Zero greeted her happily. "Hello boy. Guess what? You're not the only guy prepared to wake up early for me?" She rubbed his neck. "Yes. I know. It's impressive. He's not such a dead end idea now, is he? Maybe we can buy you a friend and go riding in the morning together."

"No." Tachi appeared in the stable. "No. That would throw his routine right off."

"Oh..." Yuuki was still talking to her horse. Zero was trying to get his nose into her jacket pocket. "But we'd like a friend, wouldn't we?"

"Not until after FEI." Tachi handed her a crop. "This is still your occupation until you finish university." She didn't take the item. He tapped her lightly with it.

Yuuki scowled playfully at him. "Yeah. But it's a nice idea, isn't it?" Zero pressed his face into her chest and she hugged it tight.

"I saw your fiancé collapsed in a heap in the parlor..."  
"Yes. I know. He wanted to 'adjust' to early morning."

"Ew. Why? We don't even like it."

"I know, right?" The girl laughed as her horse pulled his head free from her grip and snorted happily. "You only train afternoons though."  
"Yes, because your busy picking out tables or whatever."

"I'm meeting my brother this afternoon."

Tachi put his tongue in his cheek and scoffed. "Huh."

"Hm..."

"Got pepper spray?"  
"Oh. My family isn't like that....I hope."

"Yeah. Hope."

Yuuki took the crop and mounted. Kyoya had come over that morning to help her get her mind around something she was nervous about as well as to adjust to mornings. "Hm..." She rode out into the arena.

-

Kyoya was asleep in the armchair when Yuuki returned back to the house. He was asleep in the armchair when she got out of the shower and returned downstairs for the day. He wasn't asleep in the armchair when she called him out of his slumber.

"It's eight."

He growled. "It's too early."

"Most blue collar workers are in the office by now."

"I'm not most blue collar workers."

"No. You're fortunate enough to be someone who can sleep in and still get the same amount of work done_ and_ defeat empires in the same day." She grabbed his hand and heaved backwards.

Kyoya didn't move. Yuuki braced her feet against the ground and pulled again. This time he moved ever so slightly and made a deep growl of disapproval. "Oh...come on..." She tugged again.

This time he woke up and stood as she heaved backwards. Yuuki's force was useless as he didn't use it and she stumbled backwards. She was only wearing socks and ended up skidding on the polished wood floors. Kyoya gripped her hand before it left his and managed to counteract her gravitational pull towards the floor and pull her against him.

"Awake now?" She breathed, flipping a strand of hair off her face. The Ootori kissed her deeply. Yuuki replied with the same and decided she liked it when he woke up early. "Yeah...come over in the mornings..."

"Yes." He corrected, his mouth still lingering above hers.

"Yeah. That one." She kissed him good morning again.

Tachi used his amazing timing to walk in at that moment. "Okay. Who wants coffee? If you're not busy drinking each other's saliva for breakfast?"

Yuuki stepped away from her fiancé quickly. "That's disgusting!" Pause. "Oh my gosh. You ruined the moment." She glared at her instructor. "Damn it, Tachi!"  
The man laughed and waved the jug of coffee in parental victory. "Just playing 'dad'."

"Yes. Well. Oh my gosh, that image is so wrong." The girl stormed past him.

Tachi shrugged innocently at Kyoya. The Ootori pushed his glasses up and raised an eyebrow at his fiancé's riding coach.

"What?" The older man was still smiling naughtily. "I was engaged once too. I can make those jokes."

Kyoya shook his head and let himself smile at Yuuki's reaction. "You're going to drive her up the wall."

Tachi sighed happily. "I know..."

"You're supposed to be playing father, not devilish uncle." Pause. "We're already got the devil type in our lives."

"Can I just be uncle Tachi then?" He mocked in return.

"You won't bring any profit." Kyoya walked past to the kitchen. "So...No."

Tachi laughed and then rose to the couple attention that he had the coffee pot and they couldn't be furiously disgusted in the kitchen without it. He'd successfully done what he'd set out to do. Lighten the mood for the day and give Yuuki something else to dwell on as opposed to the meeting with her brother.

-

Yuuki met Haruhi at the bridal gown store. She'd already picked a bridesmaids dress for her friend, but finding herself a wedding dress was proving difficult.

Haruhi's dress was a black strapless number that stopped on the knee with a little waistband. It was designed after Tamaki's plain black suit with a white shirt and black tie ensemble. Nothing to dressy. Simple and elegant was the basic theme of everything.

"What about this?" The girl pulled a dress off the rack and held it up.

Yuuki stared at it. "It's off a rack..."

"Yes. So? It's still one of a kind or whatever."

"Umm..."

"Try it on." She shoved the hanger into her friends hands. Nothing else had been successful.

The Cunxin sighed and retreated to the change rooms while Haruhi followed and pulled her bridesmaids dress on to be hemmed. Yuuki pulled the gown on and stared at her reflection in privacy. She was surprised to find it was perfect. Off the rack, but absolutely perfect. She'd been searching for months and had finally found 'the one.'

There was a knock at the door. "Hey. Can I see?" It was Haruhi.

Yuuki unlocked the door and let her friend come in. The dress was pearly white and strapless. The top was cut into a sweetheart neck and detailed with glass beading. The body fabric was folded in a way that hugged the waist but flowed nicely into the stiff but gentle skirt. There was a piece of pale cream chiffon that dropped over part of the skirt and lifted up to the waist in a corner. The cream helped the problem of Yuuki's skin color getting washed out against the stark whites of all the dresses she'd tried on and the beading lifted the dress from simple and plain to elegant and beautiful.

"Are you going to get it?" Haruhi asked.

Yuuki nodded. "Yes."

Her friend lifted the Cunxin's hair up to get a general idea. "Yeah. You better get it."

A shop assistant appeared in the doorway. "Wow. Honey. That looks lovely. Who's the lucky man?"

"Kyoya Ootori." Came the small reply.

The woman's eyes went wide. "You're Yuuki Cunxin?"  
The girl nodded.

"Oh my gosh! Those pictures in Vogue were amazing!"

"Oh...thank you."

"And my sister is very into horse riding. She saw you fall at the Olympics. Were you alright?"

"Yes. Thank you. I was fine."

"Anyway." The shop assistant clapped her hands. "Onto the podium. We'll do this now."

"Do what?" Yuuki obeyed anyway.

"Fit the dress." The woman stood behind the girl and ignored Haruhi.

The Suoh sighed and stood beside her friend. "It works really well with this dress."

"It does..." The Cunxin said quietly. Finding the dress was confirmation of the event. Invitations had been sent. A venue had been booked. A giant white tent had been hired. It was happening. It was real. It wasn't some dream and Yuuki stopped pinching herself.

"Well..." The woman stopped tugging at the gown. "This is the first dress that's ever fitted perfectly, even the length works."

Yuuki smiled. It was funny how the things that fit perfectly were perfect. Just like Kyoya and herself. "Yeah..."

"What about this..." The shop assistant pulled a veil with lace detailing on the edges that matched the shape of the neckline and let it fall over the back of the dress and mingle with the subtle train. It created a gentle layered effect over the chiffon and contrasted strikingly against her hair. "Now that's an Ootori outfit." She grinned, obviously in tune with the rich and famous.

Haruhi could see her friend didn't want to change. "This is perfect. She'll take it."

Yuuki nodded silently. "I'll take it." Haruhi smiled at her friend in the mirror as the shop assistant hurried off. The girl breathed and smiled back. Her nerves were no longer about meeting her brother, but about the event she might want him at. "This is really happening."

"This is really happening." Haruhi put her hand on Yuuki's arm. "You look beautiful."

"Really?"  
"Yes."

"Will he like it?"

"I think everyone will like it. Kyoya most of all."

The Cunxin exhaled and nodded in confirmation. This was it. It was perfect. It was right. She was ready. Scared, but ready. She couldn't wait. "Oh my gosh. This is really happening."

"I used to tell myself that every day I was engaged to Tamaki."

"And now?"

"Now I still say it." Haruhi smiled sweetly.

Yuuki ran her fingers over the dress. "Yes. Yes. I can believe that." She said softly.

The assistant returned with the store owner. "Oh. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes." The man clapped his hands. "Very Vogue." He winked at his pun.

The Cunxin ducked her head and blushed at the praise.  
"Yes." The man stood in front of the girl. "That's just as I wanted it. Unaltered and clean."

"I like it." Yuuki said, she just wanted to buy it.  
"Yes. Yes. Me too." The owner said. "Kauri, put it through." He clicked at his assistant. The woman leapt to attention and went to do so. "Do you have shoes, love?"

The girl shook her head.

"Okay. We can fix that." He turned to Haruhi. "You there. You in the bridesmaids dress. Go hither and return with the white ones."

The Suoh looked at the man and then at the display of shoes. "Uh...which ones?" She didn't sound to pleased.

"Whichever you like." He pressed his forefinger to his chin and then reached up and pulled a strand of Yuuki's hair out to rest along the side of her face and spoke softly to himself. "...yes...yes...beautiful...perfect....lovely..." He took the shoes offered and helped the bride-to-be into them. They were simple, closed toe, with a small heel. "Yes...brilliant." He raised his voice. "Kauri, the _Cecily_ shoes too!"

"Okay!" Came the response from the counter.

"Darling." The store owner turned to Yuuki. "You are perfectly breathtaking."

"Oh...thank you." Came the shy reply.

"When's the wedding?"  
"September 9."

"Ah...an autumn wedding."

"Yes, sir."

"And your husband-to-be will be exceptionally pleased with you. Especially when you look so captivating." He signed. "An Ootori...what a lucky woman...what a fortunate man."

Yuuki blushed, the man didn't know that he had just helped her with the topic she struggled with most relating to her wedding. Measuring up.

"Oh!" He exclaimed. "And I love the bridesmaids dress beside it!"

Haruhi laughed at her friends face. She was overwhelmed but content. It had worked. It had happened. It was perfect. It was going to be perfect. Eternity was going to be perfect.

-

_Hark! The merry chimes are pealing,  
Soft and glad the music swells,  
Gaily in the night wind stealing,  
Sweetly sound the wedding bells.  
__(Eliza Cook)_

_-_

It was one when Kyoya called. "Where are you?" He'd spent the day at the office.

"I'm at home."

"Shouldn't you be out wedding dress shopping."  
"No."

"Why?"  
"Why shop for a dress before you've found one."

He went to say something.

She spoke first. "No. You cannot know where it's from. You cannot know what it looks like. You cannot bribe Haruhi to tell you and she's not telling Tamaki. Stop plotting."

Kyoya sighed, humored. "Are you alright for this afternoon?"

"To meet Mako?"  
"Yes."

The girl exhaled steadily to calm herself. "Yeah."

"Correction."  
"Yes."

"Congratulations."

"Don't be a critic."

Pause. "You sure you're alright?"

"Sorry. Just..."

"Yes. I understand."

"Really?"  
"No. Not really. But I can try to."

"Thank you."  
"I'll come get you now."

"Okay."  
"Relax. You'll be with me."

"I don't want you suing my family." It was hard enough to keep him off her father.

"They're not your family, Yuuki."

"No. My father is not my father. Legally and because he never was. Mako might not be my brother legally, but he could be anyway."

There was a silence. "We'll see."

"Okay."  
"Okay."  
"Bye."

"Bye, relax."

"I'll try."

"See you in half an hour." Kyoya hung up.

Half an hour later, he arrived. The first thing Yuuki did was hug him. Everything was going so well and she didn't want it tarnished by bad relations. "How are you?"  
The Ootori left the door open so they could leave straight away. "Fine. You?"  
"Fine."

Fine had many meanings in their personal dictionary, each knew what the other meant by it. "Come on." Kyoya pressed his hand to the small of her back. "Let's go."

"Yes. Let's go."

"Yuuki?"  
"Mm?"

"Inhale."

The girl smiled and squeezed his hand. Thanking him quietly.

-

They had agreed to meet Mako in a Tea House in the city gardens. The man looked like his sister, except taller. He had the same sharp features, softened slightly at the edges. He had the same dark hair that was so dark brown a few people would call it black and it waved slightly just like his sisters did. They had the same dark eyes, only his were lighter around the edges.

Mako smiled when he saw his sister. "My, my. You haven't grown at all."

The girl relaxed. "For your convenience."

"Still fun sized?"

"No. Just convenient." She smiled quietly at him. Not sure of what to expect. It had been so long and he had always sided with his father in order to inherit, even though he hated it. There was nothing to inherit now except a stud, so in the end, Mako had withdrawn with his wife and started his own business dealing with international agriculture.

Yuuki gripped Kyoya's hand. "Um...Mako, this is Kyoya Ootori."

"Pleased to meet you." The Cunxin extended his hand.

It was taken firmly by his sister's fiancé. "As am I." All stern politeness.

"So..." The older man indicated a booth he had been saving. "We meet again." He turned to his sister.

"Yes."

"Look...I'm just going to get right out and say it. I messed up. Royally. I kicked you out of home and sent you to a snobby school. I didn't stop father from mistreating you. And I'm sorry. Really. I am."

Yuuki looked at the table. It was awkward talking to him again. She didn't really know what to say. "Dad said the same thing."

"I know. He told me."

"He did?"  
"Yes. And I told him to shove it." Mako turned to Kyoya. "Sorry." He turned back to this sister. "He destroyed himself after mom died and we, well, mostly you, copped it." Pause. "I hear you're not taking him to court for damages?"

"No." Kyoya shifted in his seat. "Yuuki wouldn't hear of it. Even though she legally divorced you, she still considered you family for a short while. Enough to prevent anyone being taken in by the Ootori Group." In saying 'taken in' he really meant 'taken down'. The subtle threat was evident in his tone.

"Oh." Mako leaned back. "Do you still consider me your brother?"

"I don't know." Came the small reply. "I messed up too. But...He took me back."

Kyoya then realized why she wanted to take back a small part of her family. It was because he had taken her back, when it wasn't her fault. And just the same, it wasn't Mako's fault, even though he believed it was. Yuuki thought it was her fault, and it wasn't either. Just as was the case when she left him; the blame was defined by no one and just by the circumstance.

"Um..." Yuuki looked at her brother. "Have you spoken to dad? Does he know about the wedding?"  
"Yes."

"And?"

"And...he said 'oh look. Another heir is getting married to another bimbo.'" Mako decided to be honest with her. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." The girl looked back at her hands. A part of her still wanted her real father to exist. Just like she wanted her mother to come back. "Well...what did you say?"  
"I told my wife that I would be there."

"Under what circumstance?" Kyoya hadn't let his guard down.

"As her brother."

"You are no longer her brother."

"I know...I know...I just..."

Yuuki squeezed Kyoya's hand again. "You're not going to throw wine glasses or hit me or do anything like that?"

Mako looked horrified. "He hit you?"

His sister nodded.

The man turned to the Ootori. "You better bloody take him to court."

Kyoya stared. Yuuki's brother was honest. He was sincere and absolutely furious. He was exactly what she should have been; only he understood properly and didn't want to hang onto something so detrimental. "I think it best that he just be left. He knows the boundaries."

Mako turned to Yuuki. "I'm so sorry for everything..."

The girl smiled at him. "No. I know. I can see that. I...um. I know you're sorry for sending me to Ouran, but I'm not. I'm really not. Out of all the stupid things you did because of dad, I want to thank you for that one."

Her brother leant back and smiled. "You met there, didn't you?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Your sister was in the same class as myself. The top class."

"She's not stupid."

"I keep telling her that." The Ootori relaxed a little.

Yuuki looked at the men. "Well...I think we all know why I thought otherwise."

Mako's eyes flashed. "He was unfair to you. I swore I would never be like him. I'll never use you like he did. Can you forgive me?"  
"I did." The girl looked him in the eye. "A long time ago. I just didn't know if you were sorry."

"I was. I am."

Kyoya breathed. He knew people. He knew business people and he knew liars. Yuuki's brother was neither. He was just a guy who wanted redemption. Just as he had wanted redemption from his life of calculations and perfection. They both wanted the girl back. They both wanted her. They both loved her. But in different ways. "Would you like to be the ring bearer at the wedding?"

Yuuki looked at him. She smiled. Kyoya was telling her that he accepted her brother and nothing could make her happier at that moment.

Mako seemed overwhelmed. "Yes. Of course."

The Ootori squeezed his fiancés hand. She gripped back. "How's Kira?" Mako's wife.

"She's great. Six months pregnant."

Yuuki smiled. "You're happy?"

"I am. I would have liked it to have happened differently, but yes. I'm happy. I am where I would have been. It's a pity that we had to lose something in order to get there though." He referred to their still born child.

"You would have married her anyway?" If she hadn't been pregnant.

"Yes." The man leant forwards. "She's smart and pretty and helps me run the business."

"Do you know if the baby is a boy or a girl?"

"No idea. She likes surprises. Or the build up to. I know she wants a girl." Mako shook his head.

Kyoya smiled. "Well. Bring her to the wedding too. When's she due?"  
"October 25th."

"Aw...a fall baby." Yuuki smiled, she enjoyed her brothers company.

"You're having a fall wedding."

"I know." The girl grinned. "A big one."

"I never picked you for a big wedding."

Kyoya laughed at the statement. "You would be very correct in thinking so."

"So...why..."

Yuuki scowled at her fiancé. "Because, I'm marrying an Ootori."

"Oh..." Mako leaned back and smiled. "Oh. I like that."

"Its mutual." Kyoya said. He was still cautious and didn't trust the man for an instant, but Yuuki did. She had learnt not to do so unless it was right and she had a bond with her brother that would let her know that. He would respect that and respect her for deciding it.

-

An hour later, after Mako had gone home, Kyoya and Yuuki sat in the tea house in silence. They just thought and felt together. The girl leant against him, molding herself to his side. The Ootori had an arm around her waist and a knee against hers. They drank tea. Everything had worked out. The day had worked out. The last plans of the wedding had fallen into place. The last guest was decided. The dress was found. The partner understanding and forgiveness given out. Kyoya forgave Yuuki's brother. He let him into his life and into that of his future wife. He had tested the water and found it good for them. He knew she wanted a part of her family, a part of her past, he knew she wanted her help. He had given it and they had both found something and unveiled a mystery of themselves.

Yuuki pulled her iPhone out and handed him a headphone. She plugged herself in and picked a song and put the device on the table in front of Kyoya. The Ootori smiled. For such a personal song, she'd chosen a very impersonal song.

"What?" She looked at him, amused above her.

"Disney?"  
"Aladdin had some very profound things to say."

"Uhuh." He pulled her closer. "Like what?"

"A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming." Pause. "Come on boy-band. You know the words."

"I'm afraid I don't." Kyoya laughed softly.

"I thought I was dreaming today. I pinched myself, see?" She held up her hand, there was a fading red mark on the underside of her wrist.

"That looks like it hurt."

"It did. Haruhi kept telling me to stop and I kept expecting to wake up."

Kyoya took her hand and kissed her wrist. "Don't do that."

Yuuki closed her fingers over his palm. "I won't. I know I'm awake now."

"Your brother is...interesting."

"Yes. I never really knew him much. Just like you. It was more business than family. My mom was the only family I really had."

"Why did your mother marry your father?"

"I'm sure they loved each other at some point. But not like us. I don't think they went through anything except love. There was no life."

"Maybe that's where your spontaneity comes from."

"I'm not that bad."

"No. You learn from your mistakes. And mine."

"You don't make mistakes."

"I never came after you."

Pause. "No. You didn't. You did later though. You didn't let me go."

"Not once."

There was a short silence and Yuuki let her head drop on his shoulder as she stared across the room with him. "Thank you."

Kyoya stretched her fingers across her waist. "No. Thank you."

"You accepted my brother. So thank you."

"You accepted me."

"Aw...mushy." The girl squeezed his hand.

He returned the gesture. "Alright, you. Suki's expecting us."

"And her bundle of joy." Yuuki's tone was sickly sweet.

"It's not that bad."  
"The kid threw up on me." Pause. "Riki will be there tonight."

Kyoya kissed her head. "Oh, good." Last time Riki had been in the same room as Kyoya, she'd decided to give him her first kiss. Of course, she asked. Got refused. Asked again. Got refused. Tried to surprise him. Got caught doing so. Got a lecture about age differences and affairs. Tried to molest him again. Got put in corner. Screamed when Yuuki kissed him. Then cried. And cried. And cried. She cried until she was so tired that her uncle kissed her on the head and said he was Kyoya, she stopped the waterworks and promptly went to sleep happy.

Yuuki hissed at the memory. "Mm. I'll be right there, protecting you." She said. He'd protected her from what he thought were her demons that day; she would protect him from his at dinner.

"Uhuh. With your sparkling charm and biological definitions."

Yuuki smiled cheerily. "Its winning charm."  
"Oh. Forgive me." Kyoya said mockingly.

"Whatever. I'll be here."

"Me too."

Always. For the real demons, those perceived and those you worry about. I will be right here. For whatever you need, whenever you need it.

-

_I will be here  
When you feel like being quiet  
When you need to speak your mind  
I will listen  
And I will be here  
When the laughter turns to cryin'  
Through the winning, losing and trying  
We'll be together  
I will be here_

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up  
And the future is unclear  
I will be here  
Just as sure as seasons were made for change  
Our lifetimes were made for these years  
So I will be here

I will be here  
And you can cry on my shoulder  
When the mirror tells us we're older  
I will hold you  
And I will be here  
To watch you grow in beauty  
And tell you all the things you are to me  
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made  
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up  
And the sun does not appear  
I will be here  
Oh, I will be here.

_(I will be here, Steven Curtis Chapman)_

_-_

---------

_Next chapter: Wedding. ^-^_

_And no, it doesn't end there. I don't like stories that end with weddings; it leaves the plot to open. It makes me uncomfortable. There is no closure. Lol. Does anyone else feel like that? Weddings don't end a story, life ends a story. I have a plot for after the marriage. If that's okay with everyone? It's not something you will expect. Although a HaruxTama baby may or may not happen...hm...*taps nose*_

_Don't we all wish we knew Riki? She's like Misa Misa, only smaller and more annoying. Yes, Kyoya was mightily disturbed in his own, little private cold world way. Ah...but the things children do... ^^_

_Tell me what you thought; I really appreciate your input. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	26. Chapter 24

-

**Chapter 24**

**-**

_**-----**__**  
**__I love you not only for what you are,  
But for what I am when I am with you  
I love you not only for what you have made of yourself  
But for what you are making me  
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.  
I love you for passing over all my foolish and weak traits,  
That you can't help but see  
I love you for drawing out into the light my beauty,  
That no one else had looked quite far enough to din  
I love you. _

_(I love you, Unknown)_

_**-------**_

**-**

The first thing Yuuki did on the morning of her wedding was stare at the dress hanging on the back of the door. Then she smiled, stretched and got dressed in a pair of old jeans and a sweat shirt. Haruhi was asleep downstairs on the couch and was easy to walk past on the way to the stables. Unlike her husband, Haruhi could sleep when others were awake. Outside, the trees were turning gold but the weather wasn't bitter. It was cool and crisp and fresh. Alive with warm colours to counteract the oncoming winter.

Zero was wearing a light rug and wasn't used to it. Yuuki pulled it off gently and ran a hand over his body. "Hey boy. I'm going to miss you." She cooed. "Yes, you get a ride this morning. But only a light one." The girl tacked up and mounted. She rode around the property. There was a small stream at the bottom and an unobstructed view of the mountains beyond. The sun reached the point where it touched everything with gold. Yuuki stopped. And watched it. It must have been around seven in the morning.

Zero arched his neck proudly and she ran her fingers through his mane. "Yeah...you're pretty. You going to miss me? I won't see you for a month. No. You won't miss me. You'll be performing for Tachi. And you better behave, alright?" The horse shook his neck. "Mm. I want to go back too. I need to have a bath and wash my hair and make myself pretty. We can't all just wake up beautiful like you, can we?" She laughed quietly to herself as a few butterflies made their way from her stomach to her throat. "Okay. Homeward bound." Yuuki pushed for a gallop up the hill to the stable. The wind bit through her hair and made her fingers cold. Zero didn't like being groomed by a set of cold fingers and made it known.

The girl said goodbye to her horse as she let him go for the day. "You be good. Don't throw anyone. Don't fall over. Don't hit a jump. Oh. Don't bite anyone." She closed her arms around his head. Zero's ears went forward as he played their game. He tugged back and up, but she didn't let go. She wanted to hug him for a bit longer. In the end, Zero snorted. Yuuki let go. "Yuck. Thanks for that." The girl decided she really did need a bath and left her oldest friend in the paddock and headed into the house.

Haruhi was awake and in the kitchen. "Morning." She beamed.

"Morning." Yuuki closed the door.

"Nice day for it." The Suoh pointed out. The sky outside was blue as blue could be, not even a cloud. The wind hardly stirred.

"It is."The girl smiled.

"Hungry?" Haruhi offered a bowl of cereal.

"No." Butterflies again. "Not hungry."

"You have to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You'll be bloated if you eat later on."

Yuuki made herself toast. "I'm looking forward to it but it's like there's a colony if insects in my stomach and up my throat."

"Mmm..." The other girl nodded. "I know the feeling."

"It goes away?"  
"It gets worse."

"When's the worst?"

"I think you know, and it's not walking down the aisle."

Yuuki exhaled slowly. "Ah..."

"Just relax. I've been there and done that. I felt the same. I even locked myself in the bathroom..."

"Okay. I need to do that. I need to have a long, hot bath."

"Be out by ten."

"Why?"  
Haruhi pulled the schedule off the fridge. Yuuki had printed it the night before. "Eleven; make-up artist arrives. Twelve; hair-dresser arrives. Two; put dress on. Three; put shoes on. Three-thirty; arrive. Four..."

"Okay." She breathed. "Okay."

"I'll let Suki in when she arrives. She left her daughter with her husband and they will be at the wedding later. Your brother sends his wishes and is meeting Kyoya at the church." Pause. "Is the reception really in a tent?"  
Yuuki smiled. "Yes. Big tent. Very big tent. With an oak tree in it."

"Wow...big tent."  
"Like I said." The Cunxin disappeared through the double doors that lead into the hall. The dining room was opposite. There was a bathroom downstairs, but the bath in the one upstairs was bigger. And it had bubble bath. Yuuki tried to relax. It worked for about half an hour. Then she stared to get nervous again. The girl slid under the water and blew bubbles for a little bit. She couldn't wait to get married to him, but she was scared. She was scared of the unknown. Maybe people who get married more than once don't get scared, but she was. She wouldn't get married more than once. It was him or no one. There was no alternative, there never was and never would be.

At nine-thirty the girl climbed out the bath and into a bathrobe. Haruhi was sitting with Suki on the couch in the upstairs lounge, watching plas'. Plas' what Yuuki had named the plasma TV in the lounge. Just because she could.

"There she is!" Suki stood up and opened her arms for a hug. She still glowed like a pregnant woman, even though she'd worked hard to get her old body back. Yuuki let herself get embraced by the old friend and lingered when the hug ended.

"What are you watching?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"No idea." Haruhi stared at the TV with a blank face. "About six people just died and three people had babies, four of them are having affairs and someone just drove off a cliff and lost an eye..."

"Ah...daytime TV. Got to love it." Suki smiled.

"Is anyone getting married?" Yuuki asked.

"No." The older woman said flatly. "Just you."

The girl exhaled. "Okay."

Haruhi smiled sweetly at Yuuki. "Try to relax."

"Yeah."

"Yeah. Not going to happen." Suki said laughing. "I remember my wedding day. I'd spent so much effort on the day I didn't care about it. I was so scared though."

"What about?" Yuuki drummed her fingers on the edge of the couch.

"Hm." Came the answer.

"Oh." Came the understanding.

"You?" Wondering if that was the case.

"Yeah, that's it."

Haruhi laughed quietly. "Me too."

Yuuki sat down and made a small noise of apprehension. _It_ scared her. So, so much. "What if..."

"You won't."

"I didn't even finish." The girl looked at Suki.

"I know. But whatever it was, you won't."

Haruhi put a hand on her friends shoulder. "Relax."

"I'll relax you if you tell me to do it one more time." Yuuki shot back, laughing. She knew she was worrying too much. But she was worrying about something she would never get back and that was defiantly cause for nerves. She was perfectly within her rights to be nervous.

The girls watched a talk show for an hour before the make-up artist arrived. When she did, everyone migrated to the downstairs lounge and watched as Yuuki on a stool refused to wear foundation.

"Well...what will you wear?"

"Um...blush...mascara..."

"Mascara will give you panda eyes."

"Only if you sleep with it on." Pause. "Hold on..."

"Just wash it off."  
"When?"

"When you get to your room."

Yuuki closed up. "Ah...ah...um..."

"Oh, for the love of all that is good." Suki stood up and addressed the make-up artist. "Just put the blush, the mascara, the lipstick and avoid the foundation. She doesn't need it." She turned to Yuuki. "Just carry a face wipe and take it off that way. Cleanser and toner in one."

The Cunxin relaxed a bit at her friends outburst. "Okay."

"Okay?"  
"Okay. Today isn't about me worrying about one part of it. Today I marry Kyoya." If she looked at the whole picture and what it meant, it wasn't scary at all. If she didn't look at the amount of people coming or the seating arrangement she was fine. If she didn't think about the little chip that only she could see in the paint on her French tip then she would be fine. If she didn't think about eating she would get hungry and not be hungry the whole day and be fine. If she didn't think about the other thing she would be fine.

"Go team!" Suki cheered from her new place on the couch. Yuuki laughed and got a mascara brush in her eye.

An hour later, the hair-dresser arrived and the make-up artist took her leave to attend to a group of girls who had to go to prom. Yuuki wondered how they felt. Maybe the same.

"Now..." Haruhi eyed Suki. "If you move this time, you'll get a burn mark. So don't."

"Oh...thanks..." Yuuki said, slightly annoyed. "I wonder what he's doing..."

As if on cue, her mobile went off. The bride couldn't move, there was a woman attached to a straightener attached to her head. Suki and Haruhi had a small argument over who should read it ; in the end the bridesmaid won.

She gave the phone over with an aw. "Now that is a side to him I didn't know existed."

Yuuki held a hand out for her mobile, Suki was too busy pulling a face. "Yeah. Aw...But it doesn't work with the icy, calculating, manipulative man your marrying."

"What does it say?" The Cunxin asked a little desperately. She hadn't seen him since two days ago and desperately wanted to.

Suki held the phone to her chest and quoted in a dreamy voice. "No one in the world makes me laugh the way you do...See you at the altar."

"Yeah, that's Kyoya." Haruhi said flatly. "Imagine it said with a scheming tone. He doesn't elaborate where he doesn't have to."

Yuuki read the message for herself. "Yes. But I get it." She smiled. She got it. She got him.

-

_I promise you  
From the bottom of my heart.  
I will love you  
Til' death do us part.  
As a lover and a friend  
I will love you like I never love again.  
With everything I am._

_(I promise you, Backstreet Boys)_

-

Kyoya sat on the couch in the Ootori mansion and watched Tamaki and his sister flutter through the house. He closed his phone and smiled; Suki and Haruhi would read it first. Reverse psychology on them, or at least on Suki. Haruhi might be able to imagine him saying it. A minute later he got a reply. _XO._ The Ootori looked at the symbols for a lingering moment before leaning forward and standing up. It was time to put his suit on.

The same time the day following she would be his. Entirely. Kyoya knew Yuuki would be having a little, private panic attack. Nothing he said to her would prevent that. He was nervous to, but for reasons he couldn't decide on. Maybe it was because of everything they had been though; it was finally happening. They were finally getting married. They were finally, legally and publicly tying themselves officially and for eternity. Other people saw marriage as something they could escape from, but once captivated, Kyoya knew he wouldn't want to. And he knew that Yuuki felt the same. That's why it worked. Because it was mutual. Because it fit perfectly. Because through everything they had gone through, they were still joined. And stronger than ever before.

The wedding was not the beginning of anything significant. It was a significant event to celebrate them but nothing would change. He would keep loving her more. She would keep giving him joy. It wouldn't be Mr and Mrs, it would just be Them. Them. In all the successful cliché and promises of forever. Someone at Hallmark had got it right. Someone knew what they had existed. Everyone knew that it was indescribable and absolutely, utterly, entirely precious. Their only one.

-

_From now  
Until forever  
And ever, my darling  
Forever  
You will always be the only one...  
You will always be the only one..._

As long as I shall live  
I'll hold you dear  
And I will reminisce  
Of our love all through the years

If you should ever need me  
Unfailingly I will return to your arms  
And unburden your heart  
And if you should remember  
That we belong together  
Never be ashamed  
Call my name  
Tell me I'm the one you treasure

Forever  
And ever, my darling  
Forever  
You will always be the only one...  
You will always be the only one...

_(Forever, Mariah Carey)_

_-_

Suki decided it was a good time to crank Chris Brown's _Forever_ and dance around the house in her wedding clothes. She wasn't a bridesmaid, but she might as well have been.

"No. No. Stop." Yuuki grabbed her friend by the shoulders. She was all made up but in a bathrobe. "You're going to scuff the floor with your heels."

"Really?" The older woman looked at the floor. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are. Look." Yuuki pointed at a little black mark on the wood. "Right there."

"Where?"

"There."

"Yuuki. It's a wooden floor. There are going to be black marks in some places."

"Yes, but its pale wood. Pale wood doesn't have black on it."

"Yes it does."

"No...gah...Haruhi?"  
"Don't bring me into this." The Suoh raised her hands. She'd just put her dress on and had been about to put her shoes on but decided against it.

Yuuki put her hands on her hips and stared at her older friend.

"What?" Suki asked. "You're just nervous. You won't even remember tomorrow." Pause. "Trust me."

"That's like telling Joan of Arc to trust the British."

"Yeah, because that worked really well." Haruhi said as she brushed her hair.

"Like a house on fire."

Yuuki stared at Suki. "That was awful."

"Yes..." The woman scratched the back of her neck. "It was...I apologise." She clapped her hands. "Dress. You. Now."

The Cunxin inhaled slowly and exhaled quickly. "Okay. Okay. Let's do this. Let's stop procrastinating and do this."

Suki dragged her friend upstairs. "You know. I can see you doing this about the thing you're really scared about. It's not the wedding itself. You'll be like 'oh...look...isn't that awful. Someone left a scuff mark on the floor of the room. Oh no wait, that's just the design. Oh and look at this...the window...Do you want to play a board game? Something clean, like Bible Trivia."

"Okay. I get it. Shut up." Yuuki laughed. Her friends were good at helping her relax. They knew exactly how to help her see things from something other than her stressed wedding day perspective.

"Oo...me likes." Suki pulled the dress down. "You trying to look better than me?"

Haruhi laughed from the doorway. "Well..."

The Cunxin sat on a chair in the corner of the room. "Okay." She breathed. "Okay." Pause. "I can dress myself, you know that." Silence. "As in...a little privacy please?"

"Oh. Right." Her friends scurried out the door. On the other side Yuuki heard Plas' being switched on again. The morning had been more like a sleepover than a preparation for her wedding. It was making her go insane. She just wanted to see Kyoya. She missed him.

"Alright..." Yuuki said quietly to herself. "...You're talking to yourself. You must be stressed. Not out of your mind. No way. Stressed, yes." She crossed the room to where the dress hung, took her bathrobe off and unzipped the back of her gown. "Right...left foot in...right foot in..."

She was doing this. She was getting married. She was getting married to a man she loved. The man who had never let her go. The man she wasn't ever whole without. The very person she had been waiting for. That's what made them different from other couples. The waiting. Kyoya and Yuuki had never been complete without the other. They had spent their entire lives without something and when they found each other, that something shaped hole had been filled. When she left, the hole hadn't emptied, but it had been wounded. But he could put it back together again. Because she had trusted him. Without trust there can never be love. What they shared was something so deep, so intimate, no one could imagine it. Not even they could comprehend it. But it was there and it was theirs and it would last for eternity.

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand  
what pain really is, until you have lost it. They were the couple that came into the world apart, created their own and lasted. It was hard. It hurt. But it was so special and so unique that anyone who experienced it would fight for it.

Yuuki stared at herself, gown unzipped. She smiled as she had when she woke up and scurried to the door. "Zipper."

"Damn." Suki stared at her friend. "Stunning."

The bride let Haruhi pull dress together and attach the veil to her hair. The butterflies never settled in her stomach. They weren't fluttering out of fear anymore though, they danced for joy. They were going to be set free. Ungilded, as they were. Because that's the way they loved and were loved in return. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.

-

Kyoya did his tie up and stared at his reflection. Tamaki was sitting crossed legged on the bed, getting shoe polish on the covers.

"Kyoya?"

"Yes?"

"What are you thinking?"

"Stop asking me that."

"Why?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because. I want to know if it's the same as what I was thinking. Then I could offer advice..."

"Tamaki. Your advice for me won't work. For another, less fortunate soul, yes. And we're probably not thinking the same thing."

"How do you know?"  
"I know you." Pause. "And because you're French." He shot back with a small smile.

Tamaki uncrossed his legs and let them hang. "Oh. Just tell me. Please?"

The blonde had been asking all morning. "What do you want to know?"  
"Do you wonder what she'll look like?"  
"The dress is a secret for a reason."

Not really what he meant, but anyway. "Do you wonder if she'll duck her head and blush or take it with a high chin."

Kyoya smiled. "She'll duck her head and blush. Try to look up. Duck her head. Blush some more. Notice me, try keep a straight face and then not stop smiling."

"Wow. You are an egoist."

"I haven't changed. There's just different pieces of me exposed now because of her."

"You mean...you would have paid for coffee before?"  
"No. That's just you being annoying. You owe me, with interest."

Tamaki scowled. "I knew it..."

"Yes. You always did. You know not to push my boundaries."

"But Yuuki does all the time."

"She does it gently. Because she knows where to push and how to do it without driving me insane."

"I drive you insane?"

Kyoya raised an eyebrow at his friend in the mirror and sighed. "No. I don't think I ever told you this. But she was there. That night in the hospital. If I hadn't seen her and known she was waiting, wanting me to come back, then I would have left." Tamaki stared. Kyoya straightened his suit. "I mean that. There was a world I existed in before she came. And then the one after. When she left, that world was completely devastated, but I had you, I had being the heir to the Ootori estate. I could survive. But if death gave me a chance, I was willing to take it."

The blonde looked at his friend. He hadn't known. Kyoya wouldn't have told a soul. Not one except Yuuki's and she hadn't been there at that time. She would have wanted to. "And she came to get you."

"She came to get me." Kyoya sat down on the end of the bed. "My saving grace."

There was a long silence as Tamaki inflated. He finally popped. "That's so ROMANTIC! And I'm French, I would know. And married. But you'll soon know that. Aw...Kyoya. You're actually human! You have a heart that beats with blood, not numbers!" He pumped a fist at his friends chest. "There is meaning to life beyond business Kyoya. There is love! And life! And..."

The Ootori held an arm out and prevented the blonde from latching onto him. "Tamaki. Today is my wedding day. You agree with everything I say, right?"  
"Yes. Yes. Yes, I do." Pause. "I do...aw...say it with me 'I do'..."

Kyoya stared at the ceiling for a second. "Tamaki. Shut up."

The blonde did so instantly. Like a loyal golden retriever.

"Good boy!" His friend praised mockingly. "Now...what's the time?"

"Three."

"Time to go."

Tamaki sang. "Goin' to the chapel and we're, guna get mahahaharried..."

Kyoya glared at him. The blonde shut up. The Ootori inhaled and walked out of his room for the last time. All his stuff had been moved to the house. He was no longer the son of an Ootori, he was an Ootori. And he was himself. Thanks to her. Thanks to the person he wanted to be with and was going to be with. There was none of that mushy marriage stuff everyone had heard a thousand times before, but only them and their union. That was all that mattered today and forever. Every single day of forever. Plus one.

-

_Remember those walls I built, well baby they tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight, they didn't even make a sound  
I found a way to let you in, but I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your halo, I got my angel now_

_It's like I've been awakened, every rule I had you breaking  
It's the risk that I'm taking, I ain't never gonna shut you out_

_Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace_

_Baby I can feel your halo, you know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more, it's written all over your face  
Baby I can feel your halo, I know it won't fade away_

_(Halo, Beyonce)_

_-_

Suki left the house and drove to the venue herself. She needed to get a good seat. Tachi arrived as she pulled out of the driveway. He would be the chauffer of the black Austin Martin decked with white ribbon from bonnet to windscreen.

"Hello?" He knocked on the front door and let himself in. "Are we ready to go? It's three."

"Uhuh. Hold on a second." Yuuki's voice carried from upstairs. She was putting her shoes on.

The Cunxin descended the stairs with caution, hoping not to trip. Haruhi held the veil and the back of the dress on the way down, preventing them from snagging on anything. The bride held both bouquets.

"Hi." She breathed at the bottom. "Car?"

Tachi stared. "Yuuki?"  
"Yes?"  
"Hol..." He wiped his face. "You scrub up well kid."

Haruhi laughed sweetly behind the bride. "It took some convincing, but we got there."

Yuuki smiled and blushed. "Okay. Let's just get me to the church."

"Eager?" The stand-in-father took the arm of his unofficial daughter.

The bride nodded shyly and looked at the sky. It was blue and crisp and new. Haruhi looked up to. "God's wedding gift to you."

The Cunxin smiled at the sky and thanked him. He'd given her a gift to give on her wedding and she'd saved it for that day. Just like he'd saved the weather. Yuuki wondered if God ever got nervous about giving the weather. She was nervous about giving something, that in the grand scheme of things, was a lot smaller. Even so, it was valuable beyond worth. It was a big thing to her, which is why it was special. Hers to give. Like her heart. This is why she worried. Special things take special consideration. Being close to someone had scared her all her life, ever since her mother died. The walls she'd put up didn't like being taken down. Kyoya had taught her not to take them down though, he'd been given the key and opened the gate. Conventional, as always. He was the only one who hadn't tried to break into her, but had waited until she was ready for him to become a very real part of her life. A lasting part of her life. And that in itself was special indeed. The girl closed her eyes and breathed the moment.

There was a soft click as the car door opened. Haruhi climbed in first and helped Yuuki inside. After a small struggle, they managed to shut the door without worrying that they would break or tear anything. Tachi just chuckled to himself as he watched the girls and rounded the car to the driver's seat. "We ready?"

Haruhi said yes. Yuuki just exhaled.

"Tallyho then." The car lurched forward, carrying its cargo to the point of destination.

-

_A blue, black shade of love. Sent from above.  
My hands are tied, two worlds alone,  
And just like clouds, my skin crawls.  
It's so divine, the sky it glows with fields of light.  
Did you know that I love you?  
I love you. You make me feel alive.  
And I'll love you, until the end of time.  
My hands shake clasped with fear, as you come near_

_Just like a dove. A peaceful sign._

_Stars fall like dust, our lips will touch.  
We speak too much.  
Did you know that I love you?  
Come and lay with me. I love you.  
And honesty, I love you .Until the end of time._

_(Breathe, Angels and Airwaves)  
_-

The guests stood outside a giant old church in the country and waited for the groom. He arrived in an Austin Martin, just like the bride would; only he was earlier.

Kyoya climbed out of the car, just behind Tamaki. People started clapping. There were about a hundred outside, which meant that there were a good four hundred inside. Suki appeared through the crowd and smiled warmly at him.

"Kyoya Ootori. You are a lucky, lucky man."

He smiled at the woman. "Thank you. I know."

"Just smile at her. She'll be fine. Tell her you love her, and if necessary, use words." Suki's husband came to stand beside his wife and handed over their daughter.

"Yes." The groom pushed his glasses up slightly.

Tamaki raised his arms and did the best man thing. "HELLO!" He addressed the group outside. "Please, everyone, inside! I just got a call from the maid of honour. AKA; My wife..." There was small laughter from the crowd. Some of which had been at the Suoh wedding. "And they just left. So...to your stations!"

Suki's husband put a hand on the man's raised arm. "Valliant speech."

"Thank you, sir." Tamaki beamed. "You should hear the one I have planned for tonight."

There was a rumbling laughter from the other mans chest. "Yes. Yes. I look forward to it."

The blonde stood beside his best friend. "Ah. Someone's looking forward to my speech."

"Good for you, Tamaki." Kyoya seemed a little distracted.  
"What's wrong mon ami?"

The man sighed. "Nothing. Just nerves."

"Why are you nervous? Yuuki is beautiful, smart , fun with a seriousness, lovely, adorable...you have nothing to worry about. She picked you."

"I don't think she did." Kyoya said as the last person disappeared into the church and he followed. "I don't think I even picked her."

Tamaki looked confused.

The Ootori smiled. "I think that, even if we'd tried to avoid it, we would have found each other. I never felt before her. There wasn't even much laugher. No more than calculations. Now there is laughter, calculations and Yuuki."

"And you." Tamaki added.

"Yes." They disappeared into the church. "And me."

The room was magnificent. The pews were decorated with autumn leaves and soft cream ribbon. The altar had a spray of white flowers spewing from a gold vase. There were a few rich red petals mixed amongst the soft yellow that lined the sides of the aisle. It was crisp and clean and enchanting.

"Oo. Who chose this venue?" Tamaki looked around.

"The people at Vogue mentioned it." Kyoya smiled at the photographer. It was the same woman who had taken the shots for their spread. "And I had connections who could make sure it was available."

"Ah. You would." The blonde said as they reached the chaplain.

The elderly man smiled at them. His face crinkled like tissue paper. "Good afternoon. Who has the rings?"

Tamaki fished a black box out of his pocket and opened it. Inside was a plain gold wedding band and a feminine one that dipped into a slight V. It fit against the curve of the engagement ring.

"Splendid." The chaplain said. "Everything is ready. We just need the bride."

Kyoya turned and looked over the crowd. All he had ever needed was the bride.

_-_

_You are the beginning of my world and everything in that world.__ If you weren't there for me, I wouldn't be here...I love you more than anything..._

_(Vampire Knight)_

_-_

Haruhi appeared beside her husband, bouquet in hand.

"Yuuki isn't going to like all the people." She said quietly in his ear.

Tamaki turned around and embraced her. "She's here?"

The girl nodded, smiled and kissed his cheek before taking her place on the other side of the altar.

Someone in the string quartet must have received the message, because as soon as the door opened the began to play. Canon in D by Pachelbel filled the room as light spilled in from outside. The sound of five hundred people breathing at the same time faltered as they twisted to see the bride of the soon-to-be influential Ootori. Kyoya didn't falter. Not until he saw her.

The sun was filtering through the door and for an instant no one could see those walking through it. He was the first to notice the small halo around the head of the girl. There was a short intake of breath as Yuuki came into view. She ducked her head and blushed. Embarrassed and shy. A murmur arose like the ocean whispering.

"_My...beautiful, isn't she? ... Born middle class you know, can't tell. ... The blushing bride. ... oh..." _

The Host Club was seated in the front row. Yuuki looked up quickly and smiled when she saw Hunny perched on Mori's shoulders. They were the only recognisable faces she saw. There were so many. She ducked her head again and felt Tachi squeeze her arm. She knew he was smiling at her and didn't look.

"You look beautiful." He said quietly.

This didn't help the scarlet build up in her cheeks. Yuuki breathed and calmed herself. There were so many people looking at her. The girl looked up, straight ahead. Kyoya was smiling at her. She couldn't help but smile back as her heart rate picked up. Yuuki wanted to put on a straight face and not beam like an idiot, but she couldn't wipe the joy off her face. It emanated from her and joined the groom's. It filled the room. Intangible but obviously present.

After what seemed like ages, she finally reached him. Kyoya didn't take her hand like Tamaki did. He didn't notice the people like she did. He just stared at her, happy. Yuuki's hair was up, but a few strands had escaped, on purpose or not, against her cheekbone and a few lingered down her neck. It was so dark against her skin tone. She ducked her head again at his silent approval and blushed deeper. It was happening. They would be married. No vows could override the promises they already had. No promises could override the eternity they had decided. No ceremony could prove the love that only they knew existed. This was a celebration of them. Proof of them to those who didn't believe. The binding to the real world to their own. No explosions to shatter it, no planes to try separate it. None of that worked to break it. It was them and there was nothing else.

"Dearly Beloved..." The chaplain began. "We are gathered here today to witness the union of this man and this woman..."

Yuuki glanced at Kyoya as she faced the front of the church. He was doing the same and smiled a different smile to her than that he smiled at the rest of the world. It was a small moment but so private that no one else caught it. No one else could treasure it and store it away to their memory. The quiet love and encouragement of the groom. The man who had faltered only with her.

The Chaplain asked them to repeat after him, and they did. "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish to death do us part." The words were what they had already agreed to for their world. It was the proof that their world existed. That it was relevant to the real world and not an escape. The only problem was the 'till death do us part' but. Death would never part them. It had tried and failed.

"I do." Were the first words Kyoya heard Yuuki say in two days; they stopped his heart. She was right there, and his. When Yuuki slid the ring onto Kyoya's finger, it was the first time she had touched him in two days. It had been too long. His presence in her life was too undeniable to live without for long.

"You may now kiss the bride." Came the final words.

The bride waited for the groom and smiled when he did what he had been asked, probably, for the first time in his life. She let her hands rest on his chest and kissed him back gently as the crowd began its wave of applause. Kyoya pressed his forehead to hers and lingered, letting her breath mingle with his.

"Hi." She said quietly.

He smiled. "Ready?"

Yuuki nodded and looked at the front row where her friends were sitting. She didn't find it odd that the only people she knew occupied only one small portion of the room and those she didn't occupied most of her life; as long as they were in the front, then that was all that really mattered.

Tamaki decided to burst the moment and wrap his arms around both of their shoulders. "AH!" He exclaimed. "MR AND MRS!"

Kyoya looked at his friend, then at Yuuki. Mr and Mrs didn't fit well for them. Neither did the word _wife_ or _husband_. Words and stereotypes couldn't describe it. "Yes. You've very observant." The Ootori said, not able to be annoyed.

Yuuki gripped Kyoya's hand as they headed back down the aisle to the door. For some reason, people were giving them a standing ovation. Even the Ootori group. Maybe they finally understood. She doubted it. The afternoon sun spilled through the open doors as the pair exited the building in front of friends and family. Someone, probably the host club, had set up a surprise.

From the orange, pink and yellow trees spewed hundreds of white butterflies. Little ones with little wings carrying little dreams but created such a giant outcome.

Yuuki laughed when she saw Hikaru and Kaoru emerge from behind the branches. They grinned. "Since you depleted our funds, we didn't feel like we had to buy you anything. But we wanted to give you something anyway."

A butterfly landed on Kyoya's shoulder. The girl offered her finger to it and let it climb on her hand. "Ungilded."

"As it should be." Came the familiar voice. The one she couldn't imagine her life without. The Ootori ran his hand over the top of her head and revealed a butterfly that had been sitting in contrast there. Yuuki laughed bashfully and wrapped her arms around him. Kyoya put his fingers below her chin and lifted it so she was looking at him. People in brightly coloured clothes surrounded the simple black and white of their attire and wove amongst the butterflies that were creating a copious amount of joy. They seemed to be physical evidence of what had been radiating from the couple in the church.

_-_

_Submit to love faithfully and it gives a person joy.  
It intoxicates, it envelops, it isolates.  
It creates fragrance in the air, ardour from coldness,  
It beautifies everything around it._

_(Leos Janacek)_

**-**

As per usual, someone decided to ruin the moment. It was Hunny with a camera. It made a happy beeping noise and flashed brightly at them. Capturing the moment.

"Nice." Kyoya was getting a little annoyed now. "Really nice."

There was a short tugging on the girl's skirt. She looked down and saw Riki, frowning crossly at her. "You cheated." The child hissed.

"How?" Yuuki asked in reply, noticing that her husband was otherwise engaged with the approaching host club. He still held her near enough that her hair would brush his neck if she leant backwards.

"You didn't give him time to get to know me! You stole him away! You home wrecker!"

"Do you even know what that means?" The woman said with an amused scowl.

"It means you stole _my_ husband."

Tamaki, who loved children, appeared beside Riki, crouched to her height. "Hello princess. Why are you saddened on this happy day?"

The little girl rubbed her eye in annoyance. "Kyoya was my man."

"Oh! Was he?" The blonde laughed softly. "Well, we'll have to find you a better man then."

"There is no better man."

By this time, the Ootori had noticed what was going on and listened, humoured.

"Ah." Tamaki grinned. "But there are many." He leaned close and whispered; his tone loud enough for his friends to hear too. "I'll tell you a secret...Kyoya is really not the guy you want to marry."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. You want to marry a prince, because you're a princess. Right?"

"Yes..."

"Well, find a prince."

"What's Kyoya?"  
"He's a Shadow King. The bad guy."

Riki's eyes went wide with horror at this revelation. "Really?"

"Oh yes..." Tamaki nodded in confirmation. "He doesn't like sweet things and would rather play vampires than horses."

Yuuki stared at the man holding her. "What's wrong with playing horses?"

Kyoya laughed. Riki stared at him, stared at Tamaki, stared at Yuuki and then tried to kiss the blonde. Everyone except Tamaki laughed. Even Haruhi.

"Problem solved." The bride said smiling.

The Suoh didn't push Riki away, but he picked her up and balanced her on his hip. "Now little girl. I'm taken too. But..." He kissed her cheek. "...I will help you find a prince with boys your own age."

The child nodded and disappeared into the crowd with her new best friend/lover to find other toddlers.

"Kyo-Chan and Yuu-Chan!" Hunny clung to Mori's head. "It's time throw the boquet!"

At this cry, a couple hundred girls all mysteriously bunched behind the bride. Yuuki felt overwhelmed. Kyoya turned her back to them and told her to just throw it. She did. Bedlam ensued.

Hikaru and Kaoru made a call for the garter throw. The groom growled at them. They withdrew the call and had to separate the men lining up to catch it. In its place they made the call for those required for photos to leave.

The photographer was leaning against the Austin Martin, waving at the newlyweds. It looked like a good excuse to escape the throng of people and disappear for a few private moments. Ones that they wanted captured for them, not of them.

-

"Oh my gosh. How embarrassing." Yuuki said in the privacy of the car.

"What?"  
"All those people..."

"Who love you."

"Because I'm wearing a white dress and marrying you."

"Yes. To a certain extent."

"I could only name people in three rows, let alone the billion others."  
"A whole billion?" He pushed his glasses up.

"Yes. A whole billion."

Kyoya let her sulk against him. "This is your day. Enjoy it."

"I will. But not because of the people." Pause. "Because of you."

"Mmm." Him too. "I don't like people either."

"But I'm a people."

The man smiled and ran his fingers down her arm. "No, you're a Yuuki."  
"Yuuki is a people. Kyoya is a people too."

"You're acting like..."

"A child I know."

"I was going to say Elmo."

She stared at him. "Well, that's okay. I like Elmo."

"But not children."

Yuuki smiled and leant the top of her head into the curve of his neck. "Don't let me go today." All the people were unnerving her more.

"I won't. Or any other day for that matter."

"Okay."

"Tired?"  
"No. Content."

"Mm." Him too.

"I haven't talked to you in two days. It's insane. I missed you."  
"Those two days were absolutely abhorrent."

"You saying that is amazing, you know?"  
"I know."

"If I ever see another place setting again, I'm going to scream."

"Really?"  
"No."  
"Didn't think so."

Yuuki laughed lightly. "Wouldn't have had it any other way."

Kyoya squeezed her shoulder, agreeing in his own silent way. His wife twisted against him and stretched her neck to kiss the corner of his mouth. Kyoya turned to her and ran his nose down the side of hers. Little things all the time, not big things every so often. That's what they had both changed. Giving little bits to build up to something greater. Like the butterflies. When you do the little things constantly, the big things flow from them without effort and don't teeter on the relationship but become part of it. To give and not expect in return because just being with that other person was a reward in itself. Knowing they loved you and had made a conscious decision to continue doing so. It's not 'all you need is love' but rather 'all I need from you is love.' From that flowed respect and honour and the ability to argue for a resolve, not to make a point. Helen Hayes once said that 'there is only one terminal dignity – love. And the story of love itself is not important, what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only clips we are permitted of eternity.'

-

"_Love__ doesn't make the world go round. __Love__ is what makes the ride worthwhile.__"_

_(Franklin. P. Jones)_

_-_

The newlyweds and the host club arrived at the reception site as the sun began to set. It was in the middle of a field, under a big white tent located on the grounds of an old Japanese estate come country escape. The lights from the building spilled over the grass and guided the way into the party's entrance. Inside, long tables had been set up. Everything was illuminated by small electric lights that wound through a giant oak tree at the far side. Beside this was the head table.

Yuuki was glad to be in the company of friends when they arrived; people started clapping again. Clapping for them. Smiling at them. Congratulating them. She became the blushing bride again and thanked Kyoya for holding her hand the whole way.

"They won't bite." He said in her ear.

"No...but they'll tear down empires, pay a hundred mortgages without batting an eyelid and loose a couple thousand bob on a golf shot. I'd rather be bitten." She said back.

Kyoya laughed and held her. He adored her and didn't care if the world knew. Yuuki closed her eyes and let the moment extinguish the million other surrounding them before allowing herself to be led to the table and begin playing exhibition again.

The first to start the speeches was Tamaki, so that was probably a catalyst. The blonde stood, glass raised, and spoke for a good five minutes about marital bliss, the happy couple and all the embarrassing moments that they had had throughout the time they'd known each other. Tamaki got serious suddenly. "But my most vivid memory is from a tarmac." He turned to the crowd. "You see, there was a point in time where these two were not together. Where they didn't believe they worked. Stupid hey?" Small, slightly confused laughter. "I remember watching Yuuki as she stared out the window of an airplane. She had her whole life on that plane, everything. She had her horse, she had her money, her luggage, her looks...but I'd never seen anyone so empty. She might have had her life, but she didn't have her entirety. Kyoya watched her too. He was there. But he wasn't. I know I wasn't internally involved in the situation, but anyone who was there could see that when she flew away, she flew away with a part of him. You see, before they met they lived. But they did not exist. They were not whole. I've never seen anything like it in all the world." Tamaki sighed. "When they met it was as if the universe had created it. It was as if creation itself had stopped to marvel at something no one but they understood." It was a very Tamaki thing to say and he said it in a very Tamaki way. "I am aware that a lot of you consider them to young, or not equal, or not compatible. A lot of you think this is a marriage of convenience, but it's not a marriage. This pair was married before they met. They knew each other before birth and they will never leave each other even after death. That is what makes them a couple. That is what makes love. It isn't passion or beauty or money, those things have their limitations, those things die." He paused and stared empathetically at the audience, happy smile on his face. "It's them. Because that is all there ever was."

Yuuki listened to him and marvelled at the blondes understanding. She thought no one would ever comprehend what he had said because it could never be spoken into words. But Tamaki had spoken it through emotion. He turned to his best friend and his wife. "To the side of love you helped me understand. I'm French, I should know about romance. But I didn't. If it hadn't been for you, I would have never been able to marry Haruhi. If it hadn't been for you, the world would have missed out on something great." He turned to Kyoya. "Without you, she wouldn't have learned to live." To Yuuki. "Without you, he would have died." There was a short silence as he let that sink in. Then, in true Tamaki style, the blonde beamed and exclaimed happily. "TO THE HAPPY COUPLE!"

The room erupted.

Yuuki ducked her head, embarrassed. "He's a showman."

Kyoya put a hand on her back. "No. He's the best man."

"Yeah..." She sat up straight and laughed, correcting herself. "Yes. I'm sorry. I meant yes."

"Whatever." The Ootori put a hand behind her neck and kissed her deeply.

Haruhi tapped her glass to get everyone's attention again. "Hi." She was a lawyer; public speaking was a strong point. "I'm Haruhi, Tamaki's wife. Unfortunately..." Everyone laughed. Even Tamaki. "I'm also the matron of honour. What my husband said was completely right. To see true love is to see two people sharing one soul. And even though you can see it, you can't comprehend it. You can't explain these two. I'm a scholarship student, I know things, I study things, but if I was ever asked to write an assignment on Kyoya and Yuuki, I couldn't. You just...can't. It's indescribable. And that's why it will work. They didn't marry for the cliché of love, they married because that was their way of showing you a small part of what they share. So...congratulations on doing that. We appreciate it. We don't have to wish you luck and happiness, because you already have it. From each other. And that's the most powerful form any of that comes in."

People started clapping again. Kyoya understood why Yuuki wanted to cut everyone's hands off at the wrist. It didn't do much except create noise. They didn't need the appreciation, it was all for face value.

"Okay. Enough of speeches!" Tamaki stood up beside his wife and opened his arms. "To the dance floor!" He twirled Haruhi and managed to embarrass the bride and groom further.

"Kyoya..." The first dance was for them, under the eyes of everyone else. Not awkward at all. No. No pressure.

He stood and waited for her to stand beside him. "Just close your eyes."

"That's like playing peek-a-boo with a child. Only I'm cognitively developed enough to know that shutting the world from my sight doesn't shut the world out."

"Quiet. Just...dance with me."

"No more cheesy speeches?"

"No more cheesy speeches."

"Promise?"

"Not public ones anyway."

"Okay." She nodded silently and walked with him to the area lit up below the tree. The lights were dimmed down and it was as if a thousand stars had fallen and got caught in the oak branches and along the roof of the tent.

"You alright?"  
"Yes." Yuuki looked him in the eye and let nothing else matter. "Are you?"

"With you? Always." Pause. "You're beautiful, you know that? Not just in a wedding dress."

The girl smiled and pressed her face against the curve of his neck and shoulder. "Love you."

"You too." He settled his hand on the small of her back and pulled her close.

---

_You Are The Love Of My Life, I knew it right from the start  
The moment I looked at you, you found a place in my heart  
You Are The Love Of My Life, you give me reason to live  
You taught me how to be strong, with you is where I belong  
_

Yuuki loved how he held her when they danced. Like she was Coppelia, the little doll come to life. Like a night at the ballet where you understand the dances as if they were your own. Like he cherished her more than anything he could have ever achieved or worked for. Kyoya loved the way her hand fit into his. Her hands were small in his, with long, elegant fingers and oval nails. And they were soft despite the work they received. Soft despite the abuse of riding and life. Just like her.

_  
No one's ever touched me quite the way you touched me  
People search a life time to find what we have  
You Are The Love Of My Life, one thing that's good in this life  
I'll spend the rest of my days just loving you  
You are the heart and soul of my life  
Once I was lost and alone, with you at last I am home  
You Are The Love Of My Life. You give me reason to live  
You give me so much of you, and leave me room to be free  
_

The good thing about their relationship was the freedom to be an individual. She was still Yuuki, he was still Kyoya and in that; they were still them. He could work, do business, open hotels, resorts, hospitals, she could study, ride, train, go to university. He would be himself and she would be herself. And that's why it worked. Because, as themselves, they were compatible. Because every single rough edge locked onto another from the other person and compensated. Yes, it caused stress, worry and bickering; but there is no relationship void of that. To love properly is to be able to fight successfully as well as live for pacifism. Yuuki could touch Kyoya in a way no one else in the universe could. She could reach right into him and she didn't know where that power came from. He could do exactly the same for her, only he drew it off experience. He drew the ability from everything she'd given him. The trials, the suffering, the irrevocable joy. It was part of their lasting journey. Kyoya would suggest Yuuki did things, but she would never do them if she didn't want to or didn't think it right. Yuuki would tell him to do things that he had never done before or wouldn't do, but that didn't mean she loved him less or that he didn't want to. It was subjective to the situation. It was flexible to them. Their love, their little world within reality, was perfected by the acceptance of flaws and defined by the unmistakable and inerasable touch that the other had on their lives

_No one's ever touched me quite the way you touched me  
People search a life time to find what we have  
You Are The Love Of My Life, one thing that's good in this life  
And in a world full of change, one thing I'm sure of  
That You Are The Love Of My Life, the one thing that makes sense in this world  
I'll spend the rest of my days just loving you...  
You Are The Love Of My Life  
And I thank GOD I'm alive to spend my lifetime with you  
You Are The Love Of My Life._

(You are the love of my life, George Benson)

---

The song ended and neither of them moved.

"You smell like sandal wood. And peppermint." Yuuki said into his collar. "I always used to buy those wooden things you put in your closet to make it smell nice because it smelt like you. Like a rogue office."

Kyoya smiled and turned his head so that it was pressed against the top of hers. The next song started and other people filtered onto the floor, surrounding them and giving them privacy through the masses. "You always smell like white musk, but never just that."

"What else?"

"Like jasmine in summer and spring and rose in autumn and winter."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I don't know why."

"Because it's you."  
"Mm. I like you."

"I like you too."

"I know. I just wanted to say it anyway."

Kyoya felt a tugging on the back of his jacket and turned. Yuuki opened her eyes and looked over his shoulder. Riki was dancing with a boy near her age with blonde hair and blue eyes. She pulled a tongue at them. The couple laughed.

The man turned back to her. "I can see why you don't want children."

"I don't not want them. Just not yet. Maybe I'll get maternal later. Right now I just want you. We don't need an extension."

"No. We don't."

Yuuki felt the butterflies from that morning wake up again. The blood washed a little from her face as a small wave of fear washed over her.

"What's wrong?" Of course he knew.

Unfortunately. "Nothing."

Before Kyoya could ask again, he was tapped on the shoulder. Yet another disturbance. Tachi stood grinning behind him. "Cutting in." He didn't even say 'may I', he just did.

Yuuki felt the warmth of the Ootori disappear and become replaced by that of her instructor. "Hey." She said in a small voice. She knew the 'baby' talk jitters wouldn't leave her.

"Hey. You look amazing." Tachi said emphatically.

"Oh. Thank you."  
"I wish you were mu daughter. Oh...genes to be proud of."

"You have a daughter." She shot back.

"Yes. Yes. And she's beautiful. But she's not old enough to wear a wedding dress, so I'll gush on you a bit."

Yuuki blushed and turned her head.

"Aw..."

"Shut up." She smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

The man twirled her under his arm and wasn't surprised to find his partner exchanged. The bride looked up to find Hikaru and then in another instant Kaoru. By the end of the next two songs, she'd danced with everyone in the host club, even Haruhi. Hunny was unfortunately the last and she felt a bit dizzy. When she finally found Kyoya again, he was dancing with his mother. Yuuki watched him tower over the aging woman. She watched Mrs Ootori smile and talk to him, but not like a family member, like an associate. Kyoya was responding to her as he would a guest at the host club and the bride wondered if it were worse not to have a family or have a family that wasn't.

The groom looked up and saw her and said a curt farewell to the woman he was dancing with and took Yuuki back in his arms. "Have fun?"  
"I don't like being transferable." She said lightly, with a smile.

"I won't loan you out again." He teased.

"Oh. Good to know you got some profit from the endeavour...loan my left foot..." The woman pushed his glasses up slightly.

Kyoya smiled. His fingers traced across the skin of her shoulder, just over the short scar. Mako had been there with his wife, but he had kept his distance. He knew that reminding Yuuki of her past when she was so happy in her future wouldn't be fair. They needed a better relationship as siblings before he could do that to her. The groom kissed his wife on the jaw and let her skin absorb his breath. He felt her against him. She didn't stiffen or tremble, she just became smaller in his arms. Like she wanted to vanish, but not away from her fear; rather, into him. It wasn't about performance or passion, it was about expressing love in a different form and finding a different joy through that. Exploring the other and finding new mysteries. Yuuki couldn't grasp that yet, but no one ever would.

"Kyoya?" She said shyly.

"Mm?" He pressed the side of his forehead against her temple and spoke against the tip of her ear.

"I'm..." Yuuki got a little smaller.

"I know." Pause. "Me too." But in a different way. They were different and felt different, even if it was from the same strain of emotion.

The girl twisted her head so that the bridge of her nose rested on the edge of his jaw. She did tremble slightly, but only for an instant. Kyoya let the hand not holding hers stop drifting against the top of her back and settle where her neck became her collarbone.

"I love you." He said privately to her.

Yuuki looked up at him; her cheeks were blushing and her hand shaking ever so slightly in his. "I love you too, until the end of time."

He slid his hand behind her neck, like he had the night in the snow on the balcony and kissed like new.

The girl felt herself melting against him as every part of the last few years poured down to that day. She felt her heart rate increase suddenly, just like the wings of the butterflies in her stomach. But she didn't stop loving him. She didn't pull away.

Kyoya felt the pulse in her throat and pressed his forehead to hers. "Little hummingbird." He smiled down at her.

Not like butterflies. They couldn't endure what they had. They couldn't adapt. A hummingbird could fly backwards and forwards and press through time and snow. "Just like a hummingbird." She said before pressing her lips to his gently. The room faded away and the music dulled down. The stars became real overhead and their love never changed.

-

_Did you know that I love you?  
Come and lay with me.  
I love you.  
And honesty, I love you.  
You make me feel alive.  
And I'll love you,  
Until the end of time._

_(Breathe, Angels and Airwaves)_

_-_

It was not about sex. It was about being one person with the other. Being so close that all that there is, is just one. No him, no her, just them. An expression of their entirety articulated through a physical bond. There was no expectation of receiving and only thought to giving. To giving one's self in the most personal way possible. Not to break down walls, but use the gate through the trust of the other. Sex was pleasure, making love was pleasurable in that it was not for one's self, but for the other. To express what words and emotion could not. The final frontier in love and understanding. Which is why Yuuki had waited. Why she wanted him to have her untouched. Why she was so scared. She wouldn't lose anything, because he would have it. Like her medal. It was still hers, but in his keeping, his treasure. She wouldn't have all her mysteries revealed; only heightened. Kyoya wouldn't disrespect her. He wouldn't dishonour her. He would keep her and adore her and love her as everything she been to him, only through an alternate form. Through one that they could be one through. They would be the indescribable people described them as. That is what the wedding night meant to both of them. To be completely and utterly, wholly and irrevocably, unified with the person they had promised everything to.

-

_If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass. I can't think of anything I need  
Making love with you has left me peaceful, warm and tired  
What more could I ask; there's nothing left to be desired  
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak  
So sleep, silent angel... sleep_

_Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love you  
All I need is the air that I breathe; yes to love you  
Peace came upon me and it leaves me weak  
So sleep, silent angel...sleep  
(The air that I breathe, Hollies)_

_-_

Kyoya held his wife against him as she slept in his arms. Her skin was like a white peach, pale and soft; the veins almost visible below. She was warm and gentle, even in sleep. Like a dove.

He'd left the cage open, and she'd flown right back to him. Back into his arms.

Yuuki had her face pressed neatly against his neck, curved against the underside of his jaw so that when she breathed, it washed over his throat, into the small curve below his ear and pooled at his collarbone. Her body was tucked against his, perfectly aligned and fitting like a puzzle piece. Her one hand was closed lightly at the base of her throat, just as it would have been if her necklace had been there, the other was in the same place, but on him. Spread across his skin.

Kyoya cradled Yuuki against him; he'd woken up feeling her against him, it felt unusual, but right. Feeling her form wrapped against his. Feeling her pulse through beat her chest and into his. Everywhere they touched was electric, tingling; like secrets. Small sparks that danced under the covers. He had one arm wrapped under her and around her waist and another over her and entwined through the dark hair that spilled across the pillow. Kyoya embraced her as if she was the most precious thing on earth, and she was to him. He smelled her hair, it was like lily and white tea, her body smelt like musk and rose. Always musk and rose. Just like the snow and balconies. She was breathtaking, stunning, captivating; to him, she was everything she'd ever wanted to be. To her, he was a giant angel, wrapping her in a love so big she couldn't comprehend it.

Yuuki shifted slightly, her face turned up so that her nose pressed against the underside of her husband's chin and then returned to where it had been before. She sighed softly. Her body moved faintly against his, her form gently pressing deeper as if to be absorbed against him. And then she was still again.

Kyoya stroked her hair quietly. He was glad he woke up. He was glad for a lot of things, but he was glad he had woken up. She would wake up to his sleeping structure in the morning and would marvel at his conjecture; but at that moment, all he wanted was to hold her as he slept. It was such a simple desire, but one that encapsulated so many things. He didn't miss her when she was asleep, but he missed her, missed her little gestures and actions, the unconscious motions of love, when he was asleep. And he loved her enough to not want to miss those things; they made it so he could do the same in return.

-

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
While you're far away and dreaming  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
Well, every moment spent with you  
Is a moment I treasure  
_

_Lying close to you  
Feeling your heart beating  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together  
And I just wanna stay with you  
In this moment forever, forever and ever_

Well, I just wanna be with you  
Right here with you, just like this  
I just wanna hold you close  
Feel your heart so close to mine  
And just stay here in this moment  
For all the rest of time  
(Don't want to miss a thing, Aerosmith)

_-_

Yuuki opened her eyes to the morning. It filtered through an open window. It smelled like sandal wood and peppermint. Every morning would forever smell like sandal wood and peppermint. Kyoya was asleep against her. Deeply asleep. She wondered what he was dreaming about as she lay still in his arms. He breathed so deep, it brushed against the top of her head and seeped into her scalp.

Yuuki smiled happily and turned her head so that she could see him. For someone who was a demon when he woke up, Kyoya looked very peaceful asleep. The girl freed her hand from its place against her chest and drew a line over his hair, moving it tenderly out of his face.

His heart was beating under her fingertips, strong and steady and mysterious. Just like him. And he was warm. Something few people knew. Right from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, he was warm and comfortable. And he fit against her perfectly, not just emotionally. They were _completely_ compatible. Physically and mentally. They might not appear so on the outside, but they knew it was true and that was all that really mattered. Yuuki traced the lines of his face curiously, knowing she would never memorise them like she had his expressions. But she was going to try. Time aged a face but it did not age the way it was used.

The girl wondered if heaven was like him. Personal and unique and loving and deep; something that cannot be described but that can be experienced. She didn't know, but she thanked God for her husband with every breath. The form that held her safely and contentedly in his arms and venerated her with every moment. No one could have ever asked for more.

Kyoya stirred and arched his neck so that his face pointed down. He inhaled deeply and his wife fluttered her hand to her chest shyly. Kyoya didn't wake up automatically, but eventually his eyes opened, blinked a few times and adjusted to the light. Yuuki couldn't see his face; she pressed her own into his neck again and squeezed her eyes shut diffidently. Her husband made a small, wake up noise that sounded like a cross between a low growl and a sigh. But for the first time in his life, he woke up properly first go. And he had no objections. Not when there was something to wake up to.

"Hi." Yuuki said quietly, letting him know she was awake to. Not really a surprise, but anyway.

Kyoya let his hand trace from where it rested against her neck, down the ridges of her spine to her waist. "Good morning." His voice was so familiar, it washed through the room.

"I love you." She said softly. Gently articulating what they already knew, in full.

The man sighed deeply and pulled her closer. "I love you too. Honestly. Until the end of time."

No more needed to be said. She was completely and irretrievably his. Still totally pure against him because it belonged to him. She had the key to his heart, to the gate into it. He didn't give her a sledge hammer or a bulldozer, just the key; his permission, his love. Yuuki turned her face up and kissed the bottom of his chin. Kyoya let her linger there for a moment before kissing her lovingly on the mouth. She was warm and adoring. He gave her the perfect tool to work him out. Now they just needed time. And that was something they had, something they looked forward to spending. Together. Perfect with all its flaws. Just them and their world within reality.

-

"_Falling in love is continuous as the journey of your eternity with them. It isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter... But it's when you want to be __together__ despite it all that you know that what you have is indescribably, uncontainable; you have to share it with the other person and become enveloped by them. Everything they are. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.__"_

_(Unknown)_

_-_

----------

_Okay. Now that was difficult to write. I've not really a romantic or anything...haha. Longest chapter yet. I wanted it to be perfect and not like 'mush, mush, gush, mush, brain-dead reading...'. I hope it was interesting and thought provoking and enjoyable for you. Yes, I was blushing the whole way through. As you can imagine. I finally got the whole 'it' thing out and explained in the terms relevant to them. (With much difficulty) It's not the same for everyone, I'm aware of the fact, but that's how it is for the story. It was so awkward to write. I don't write smut. At all. So don't expect that. This ffic is rated T because it has themes in it and not M because it doesn't have the extension of those themes in it. That is most defiantly not what this story is about and I hope that your all mature enough to have been able to grasp the concepts within. I was typing and going 'Hm...I think I'll go...hide...' So...the last three pages took the longest to write. Haha. _

_A lot of you have sent comments about a HaruxTama baby and a KyoxYuu baby. *taps nose* _

_THE PLOT WILL CONTINUE BEYOND THE WEDDING. As I have said. Weddings never gave me closure. I always found stories that finished with a wedding to be annoying. But that's just me. _

_If you want me to write another, please suggest things to write and I'll take them into consideration. I never actually expected to finish this story but your support has been so amazing. Thank you. I'll probably do a question answer segment. Anything you want to ask about this story, future stories, about the characters, about various events, about me...just go for it; but be sure to tell me that it's for the segment and not just a general question, or I'll just answer it. :)_

_So...please do review, tell me what you thought. Tell me what you liked, didn't like...whatever. Please, it really helps. _

_Blessings and I hope you all have a very happy Easter!_

_-pp_


	27. Chapter 25

-

**Chapter 25**

**-**

Yuuki decided she would sit on the luggage trolley and let Kyoya push her through the airport. He decided to think it though first.

"What?" She twisted to look at him. If he leant on the bar she could lean against him. But she doubted he would. Yet.

"You're sitting on your luggage."  
"It's just clothes."

"If a shampoo bottle pops, don't expect me to sympathise."

"I don't weigh enough to pop a shampoo bottle."

Kyoya kissed her neck. "No. You don't."

Yuuki smiled. "Okay." She pointed at the check-in. "Tallyho." He didn't move. She turned around to look at him again. "Let's go."

"Do we even need a trolley?"  
"No..." There was her suitcase and his suitcase. Both of which had wheels. "But they're there for our use. And no one likes carrying their carry-on until you actually get on."

"Uhuh." The man decided to humour her and push the trolley the whole twenty meters to their check-in point. "You have your iPhone?"

Yuuki smiled coyly. "Yes. I have my iPhone." She dug into her handbag. "I also have yours." The woman held the devices up. She'd made him leave Marvin at home. His only internet source would be his mobile and his wife had kidnapped it.

"Yes." Kyoya spoke against the back of her neck, into the bottom of her hairline. "I know."

"Just checking?"  
"Just checking."

Pause. "Why have we stopped?"

"We're at the check-in."

"What?" Yuuki looked around. "No. Can't we use the very last one?"  
Kyoya laughed. "Not unless you're interested in flying economy."

"What are we flying?"

The man raised an eyebrow. Surely she knew.

The woman at the counter smiled in a very air-hostess like manner and welcomed them to the airport. "Where are we going."

"Seychelles." The man said smoothly, pulling out the documentation. He had kidnapped that off Yuuki. She could go nowhere unless she was with him.

"Okay." The woman typed a few things and looked at their passports. "Oh. Oh! You're that couple!"

Kyoya felt Yuuki tense up beside him. "Which couple?"

"The Ootori couple." The lady gushed. "The latest issue of Vogue came out today." She pulled the magazine out.

"Oh. Good." The girl said flatly. Kyoya had to squeeze Yuuki's hand to stop her sarcasm. They'd only been married three days ago. The days had been spent at the country club. Not doing much but being with each other.

"Beautiful gown." The relevant page was turned to. There was a full page picture of them at the altar.

"Oh." The female Ootori put a hand behind her neck self-consciously. "Thank you. It's one of Peter Alexander's."

"The Australian Designer?"

"Yes." She lifted her suitcase onto the machine belt, just after Kyoya's.  
"Very nice." The woman quipped. "So, I can't upgrade you for your Honeymoon because you're already flying First-Class." Pause. "Is there anything you want as our congratulations?"  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "No. We're fine."

"Alright." The hostess put their documents back together and handed them over. "You board in an hour. Congratulations."

Yuuki scowled and walked away. Kyoya caught her by the waist and pulled her into him. "Like you didn't expect that sort of thing."

She relaxed against him. "I know. But being _that_ couple is so...odd. Neither of us are actors or anything like that."

"No. But I am an heir and you are an athlete."

"And they never get into magazines." She whined.

"Yes. And Paris Hilton was never in a magazine." He turned her to face him. "You're beautiful. Of course everyone is interested."

Yuuki made a small, muffled noise against his shirt. "At least there are a couple thousand backup photos. If the video is blue and wibbly we have a problem."

"You wouldn't have got all those free Prada promotional goods if you hadn't done it."

"Yeah." She looked up at him. "I really like that shirt they gave you."

He laughed; sure it was in her suitcase and not his by now. "Want to go to Duty Free?"

"No. I don't feel like shopping."  
"What do you feel like?"

She swiftly went to her toes and kissed him, answering him that way.

Kyoya kissed his wife back and held her tight against him. "As long as you're happy." He said smugly.

Yuuki laughed softly and blushed. She always blushed. He wouldn't ever get sick of it. She locked her fingers in his. "I really want some tea. Iced tea. And M&M's."

Her husband smiled quietly to himself. "Coffee."

"Yuck."

"You have your sweet tooth. Leave my lack thereof alone."

"Whatever."

He went to correct her.

Yuuki pressed her shoulder into him. "Whatever." Their course veered ever so slightly and she beamed in victory. She was the only one in the entire world who had the power to keep Kyoya Ootori going in the same direction, but nudge him onto a slightly different rout. One that she was locked into as well. It wasn't about changing him, but incorporating him. When he was just an Ootori, she had ended up on a plane without him. When he was an Ootori with a tiny bit of flexibility, he still got the same outcome only with her at his side. One small alteration in calculations that could bring about something even more valuable than the original goal, one where he got to be an heir as well as a husband.

-

The airplane was a little over half full. It was school season for most and the other beach going couples usually went in spring, not Autumn. The Seychelles, however, are near the equator, close to the African coast, and boast comfortable weather most times of the year.

Yuuki found that, for the first time ever in an airplane, she could sit cross legged. The first class seats were almost as big as she was and not half as big according to previous flying experiences. Kyoya acted as if it was the most natural thing to sit in a seat so big with such prompt service. His wife found it uncomfortable to be waited upon when she could have just done everything herself. A flight attendant even poured her bottled water. Which is in a drinking bottle to be drunk out of the bottle, according to Yuuki. Kyoya had the window seat. The only problem with first class is that you don't actually sit beside anyone other than an overstuffed armrest. He watched as his new wife watched him. Fortunately it was an overnight flight.

When everyone else was asleep, Yuuki slid out of her seat and pressed Kyoya aside lightly. He was half asleep, half expecting her. His arm opened slowly and let her in, and closed snugly around her the girl rested her head on his shoulder.

"Hello." He said, hazily.

Yuuki traced a line down the side of his face. "Shh..." She let her finger come to rest on his lips.

Kyoya smiled slightly and kissed the digit. The girl pressed herself close into his side and looked out the window. The stars were amazing when you flew above the clouds at night. They lit up the little traces of white with silver and detailed them with navy. Giving them shape and form. They smiled down on all below and seemed to quiet the gentle whisper of the plane.

The Ootori, the male one, watched the girl watch the word pass by. Her head was haloed silver for a second before she moved it out of the line of the moon. An earthly angel never dwells on heaven unless it's to thank it. They were secretive. Upon first meeting her, Kyoya thought there couldn't be a more private person in the world. But he had mistaken privacy for a search for peace. She'd found it. With him. The tips of her hair lit up silver by the world she lived in but could watch without fear. She looked happy. Inside her walls, inside his, she was happy. Kyoya breathed and got her gentle scent. Roses and musk. Something very passionate softened by something very normal. Yuuki was as unique as she should have been; a result of her circumstances and everything that had brought her here. And that was normal. So many people, in the pursuit of being normal, became abnormal. They became clones. She wasn't a clone. He didn't expect to find traits in her that didn't exist. That was the mistake most couples made. They thought that because they liked Picasso, their partner must like Picasso too. When really, their partner found art boring and had a much greater interest in music and expected their other to be fascinated with Mozart. He didn't expect anything from his wife other than that she already was. He didn't know all of that, but he wanted to.

Kyoya brushed a stray hair from her face so that he could see her better. "Is this what economy is like?" His voice was sleepy. The good mood bordering the entrance of sleep as opposed to the bad one coming out of it.

"No." She laughed quietly, monosyllabically and lifted her head to look down at him. "There would be much less room." They could fit at least another body inside the now vertical seat. It would be squished, but it would be possible.

"Mm." The man stretched. "Maybe we should fly economy."

Yuuki smiled. "No. I think you'd find the child with a cold screaming beside you quite the moment destroyer." Pause. She glanced over her shoulder at the rest of the sleeping cabin. Their hushed tones were secrets, not words. "I don't fancy the stuffy business people either though."

"Mile High Club not your thing?" Kyoya's lips lifted slightly and he shut his eyes at his own joke.

His wife pinched him. "Oh ha, ha. It's not a 'thing' that club is a profanity."

"Mm?"  
"Why do it just for the heat of the moment? A quick grope in the closet. That's not love at all. That's just desire. There is no excitement in a raw act; for anything to have meaning, it should start with it."

Kyoya thought about that. It was why what they had was so special. It was nothing about raw emotion or raw desire, but it was both combined to form an expression of something greater than any act or idiom. "That's why I love you."

"Why?" She frowned. Just because he wasn't watching didn't mean she was expressionless. It was part of her to let feelings flit across her face, even if just for a moment.

"Because, you see things that people shouldn't be able to see. You perceive things that other people don't. You say what I never could put into words." He opened up to her. He didn't know it, but it was one of the greatest gifts he could give. Just being Kyoya without the mask of profit.

"And you do things that I couldn't." Yuuki let her fingers slip through his and then wind back through. Like water slipping through ones hands, only with a break that returned for another touch. Just because water running could create electricity. And that's what it felt like. Cool and tingling.

Kyoya let the hand that encircled her slide slip down to the small of her back. He sighed.

"Goodnight, Kyoya." His wife stopped playing with his hand and lay still against him, her head on his shoulder once again.

The man put his now rejected arm in the place his other had just left. Captivating her, but leaving a little door open so that she could just be. She was silent, awake. Enjoying his presence. Just being in it. The night he had left her, the night in the hospital, she had been his angel. The one who brought him back. The night on the balcony, he had been hers. The one sent to show her something that extended through emotion and life itself. Something that just was. Someone who would guide her and protect her and tell her secrets, with words or with actions or with silence.

-

_Remember those walls I built  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make up a sound_

I found a way to let you in  
But I never really had a doubt  
Standing in the light of your halo  
I got my angel now

-

"No." Laughing. "No. Don't." Laughter from the kitchen. "That's not what it says...Go stand over there." A short pop. Silence. "That is what it said, isn't it?" Pause. "Oops." Smell of smoke.

Kyoya leant on the kitchen counter and shook his head. Yuuki had just experimented with the stove. And the instructions on how to use it. He'd tried to help; she'd refused him and sent him to the other side of the room. They had rented a house on one of the 115 islands in the Seychelles, a house that really shouldn't be exposed to fire as it had a thatched roof and wooden structure.

"I killed it." Yuuki smacked a button. "It's yelling at me in machine language." The stovetop beeped. "It's swearing at me."

Kyoya pushed off the counter and stood beside her. He slid his glasses up. "You just turned it on."

"I did?" The girl seemed somewhat wondered at this feat.

"That's what the little red temperature mark means. The digits show what setting its on."

"Doesn't that mean _bad_. Red is bad, isn't it?"  
"It's a glass stove top. Red means on."

"What does flashing red mean?"  
"Hot."

Made sense. "And the little circle?"

Pause. "That's probably not supposed to be there."

"Is it the heat pad?"

"No...There are only three. That's a fourth and it's not very circular." Pause. "Do you even need to use the stove?"

"No..."

"Then why are you using it?"  
"Because. I had no female influence in my life to teach me how to and I suddenly had this...urge...too try cook something."

Kyoya smiled and leant his arms on either side of her. "You know how to use make-up and a hair straightener. You have had some female influence. And apparently you're quite the fashion statement. Even though most of your clothes are actually...well...mine."

"You can't cook anything on a hair straightener."

"We have a maid." He kissed the hallow behind her ear. "She cooks."

It was sunset. They'd spent the whole day on a private, pristine beach and in water so warm it was teeming with life. Which was sometimes a risky thing. Kyoya hated fish. Hence why he rarely swam in anything natural. His wife in the swimmers that Tamaki had picked changed his mind. The blonde had unpacked everything with his wife and repacked it again. Something that was annoying at first, but turned out to be alright in the end. They were in private anyway. "Mm. But we have a reservation at the resort tonight. You get to drive that bright yellow golf buggy."

"Well..." He kissed down to her shoulder. "Do you want to go?"

Yuuki shivered as he breathed returned up and down the back of her neck. "It's supposed to be...very good." He was very distracting. "We'll be late if you keep doing that."

"We're here a week. I'm sure they would understand if we rescheduled."

"You have to call to do that."

"The honeymoon suit is probably renowned for providing a continued pattern of lateness or absence from its occupants."

"Mm." She turned around to kiss him. "Probably." Kyoya leant into her and Yuuki put her hand back to balance herself. In the end, she landed the tips of her fingers on the cooling glass-top and hissed. "A kitchen will be the death of me." She said, annoyed, as she slid out from against him and to the sink for cold water.

Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up again. "Are you alright?"

"Ow." Yuuki put her fingers under the cold tap. "Yeah. I'm..." She shook the hand. "Ow." The girl looked up at him and looked a little guilty. "Karma."  
Her husband trapped her between the sink and himself. "What have you ever done wrong?"

"I offended the technology. I tried to...ow...tell it that it was wrong."

"Ah." He lifted the attacked hand and kissed each fingertip. "Better?"

Yuuki smiled and lifted onto her toes to kiss him again.

The next day she had trouble picking things up and had little white bandaids on three of her fingers. But that's what happens when you don't keep a burn under the tap for a long time; she'd been too distracted to maintain that though. The cause of distraction wasn't very sorry. Neither was she.

-

_It's like I've been awakened  
Every rule I had you breakin'  
It's the risk that I'm takin'  
I ain't never gonna shut you out_

-

Palm trees. White sand. Clear water. Blue skies. Normally.

It rained.

Hard.

For a whole day.

The weather of a warm climate can drop from a temperature of comfort to one of extreme heat or cold in a matter of minutes before returning again to its blissful facade.

Kyoya got cool and went to search for his black sweater. He found it asleep in the very middle of the bed, wrapped around a fragile form. She was holding a book, the sleeves reached right to her knuckles and the bottom of the top came down mid-thigh. Her toes were curled away from the cold. Yuuki had tried to read his book. It was very plain, very boring. Obviously brought for face value, not for actual reading purposes. One of those books you owned to say you owned, not to say you'd actually read. No wonder she'd fallen asleep.

Kyoya sat beside her. Yuuki was curled slightly. Delicate. She was delicate and beautifully reckless. Each moment to her was a moment she would never get again. Thus, each moment was as pristine and clear, as defined as a black and white contrast and stored to memory; and always beautiful.

The awake Ootori slid the cover out from under her and then pulled it back over his wife.

Wife.

What did that mean? Other than that she was the female half of a legal matrimony.

Kyoya leant against the headboard and felt an arm wrap around his stomach, book still attached to a couple band-aided fingers. Even in sleep she could find him. If he was ever lost, all he had to do was wait. She'd find him and bring him back. Back from a day at work. Back from the office when he wasn't actually there. Back from what he thought was the answer to everything. Back from some godforsaken street in London on a rainy night. Back home. Yuuki smiled in her sleep. She never scowled, even if she was having a nightmare. When her dreams were less than pleasant, her lips were still turned up slightly. Hiding what was really going on in her mind. Fortunately, he knew the prompts, even if he didn't know the secrets behind them. His wife had nightmares. About her father. Not of him doing anything or yelling or throwing things. Just repeats. She replayed things in her sleep that she'd tried to forget in waking. When this happened, her hand would flutter closed for an instant and she would make a small noise. Like a silent cough. When this happened, he would hold her closer and kiss her forehead. When this happened, she relaxed. Kyoya knew Yuuki. He knew her. Not every mystery or ambiguity. But he understood. Understanding is sometimes greater than the ability to answer.

The man slid the book from Yuuki's hand and put it on the side table, along with his glasses. The wind murmured violently outside, driving the fronds of palm tree's into the soaked glass windows and scattering bark on the deck. It was bed weather. Bed and books and movies.

The girl stirred slightly as her husband filled the space beside her and pulled the back covers up.

Wife. Husband. Words. Just words. Describing words for the way a set of people were. It didn't describe them or their past or their future. They just stated. If one had said husband to a woman who had just divorced, the meaning would be entirely different to that of a woman who had just fallen in love. If one said wife to a man who practiced infidelity, then he would see the adjective as something entirely different as to that of a man who had just proposed.

Wife. Kyoya pondered. Wife. Yuuki was not a wife. She wasn't a soul mate either. A soul mate would have come from the soul, and her soul was to free to be bound to anyone's. Just like his. They were two individuals with one love. Two beings who became one through a bond deeper than one that could be experienced alone. A soul mate would be one with the other soul. They were one with the other spirit. Moving together even when apart. Breathing together even when the others breath was not near. Pulsating together even when their hearts were not in the same room.

Kyoya ran his fingers over the skin at the back of Yuuki's neck and down the ridge of her spine until he reached the back collar of his sweater. It had slid off her one shoulder when she shifted close to him and been replaced by a dark pool of hair. Her husband brushed this away and traced patterns over the skin. Thinking all the time about how to define her.

By the end of an hour he had come to a conclusion he had already known. She was indefinable. Which is why they were. He could not explain her any better than man could explain why the universe was so large or the ocean so deep. She could not explain him any more than a child could explain the functions of an adult or a fish thrive on land. Even so. Those things were. A man could try to explain the universe and the sea, a child could try to explain the older of their species and a fish could attempt to live out of water. But in the end, all these pursuits would have been in vain. They would have been seeking something that had no answer. All his life, Kyoya had looked for answers. He couldn't find one for them. And that was the answer. There wasn't one. There was no magic, there was no map. Just treasures and moments and love.

Love. It meant adoring the other. It meant the ability to fight, not to hurt, but to seek resolve. It meant remembering why you had fallen in love to begin with. It meant hurt. It meant suffering. It meant joy. It meant cherishing. It meant private moments, little secrets, happiness, contentment.

Kyoya Ootori let his wife rest her head over his heart. Yuuki Ootori let her husband hold her waist.

Surrounded. Compatible. Endurance. Hope. Loyalty. Abandon to cherishment. Praise for adoration. Affections returned when there was none required. Saving the other, no matter what. Just being that angel from the balcony, from the window. Loving.

-  
_Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace_

-

Yuuki had a thing for luggage trolleys. If she couldn't sit in it, she would push it hard and lift her feet off the ground and let it carry her anyway. Kyoya had been checking his E-mails on his phone when, quite suddenly, his companion disappeared, only to be found a moment later a few meters ahead.

"We're going to New Zealand." She said waiting for him. "Where this shirt came from. I can buy you more." Yes. She was wearing his shirt. And a pair of jeans. And a waist belt.

"This shirt isn't from New Zealand."

"This shirt is wool. New Zealand is full of sheep. Sheep make wool."

"There are sheep everywhere in the world."

"Sweeping generalisation."  
"You know what I meant."

The woman at the check-in smiled politely and then did a double take. Yuuki tried not to die a little inside.

"Oh! It's you!"

"Oh...it's me?" Came the slightly deflated reply from Mrs Ootori.

"Yes. This one." A magazine appeared from under the counter and Kyoya wondered what attendants really did in their lunch hour. The picture was of Yuuki in a black dress, black heels and red lipstick. It was part of Chanel's _Little Black Dress_ campaign.

"Oh. Yes. That's not me." The girl lifted her luggage onto the collector.

"Yes it is." The woman turned to Kyoya. "And you're the fortunate husband."

"Fortunate." Kyoya said with a smile, handing over their documentation.

"New Zealand?"

"Yes." He continued to smile.

"Good skiing there." Her tone was getting flirty.

"I hear that."

"You've never been?"

"Ah. Yes. Once. For business."

"It's beautiful, no?"  
Yuuki made a face. Kyoya pushed his glasses up."Like my wife, no?" His tone told her to stop, but his question said continue if you have something nice to say.

"Yes. Sir." Typing. "We can't upgrade y..."

"No. That's fine." Kyoya said over her.

"Okay." They got their passports back. "Have fun."  
"Oh." Yuuki turned away. "We will."

Mr Ootori crossed his arms and walked away smugly. His wife overtook him with a luggage trolley. Even though they had no luggage. "Oi. You'll get hurt."

"No. Last time I got hurt it was your fault."

"You put your hand on the stove."

"You distracted me." She smiled wickedly. The trolley ran into an uneven tile and she let go as it leapt up beneath her. The wheel landed on her foot. "Ow." She held the offended limb in her hand and let the offending device roll away. "Ow. Ow. Ow. You distracted me again."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

She put her foot down and opened her arms pathetically. "Hug me."

Her husband waved a dismissing hand at her and continued to check his mail.

Kyoya was everything she needed and wanted. He could prove her wrong in an instant, but let her do the mistake making. So that she could learn. He would always make sure that, even though they both messed up, she knew he loved her. Even if he did it in his own way. Like letting her ride the trolley anyway. Like letting him continue to do business on their honeymoon, even if it was on a screen one eight of the size of his normal computer. They needed each other, not be together every minute need, but just basic. Like talking, seeing, knowing. Something that you had to work at or it would fade away. Something they would work at because it could never fade away. Because they wanted it that bad and needed it that much.

-  
_You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away_

_-_

Toothbrush wars was a game invented by someone, somewhere, with a mirror and a video camera. Yuuki and Kyoya had never seen this video, but the bathroom was always a place for smiles. Foamy smiles.

It all started with the Mr flicked his brush down into the sink to get rid of the excess water. The Mrs had looked at the specks of toothpaste on the sink, at him, at her brush and then back at him. She continued to brush her teeth but couldn't help but smile at how he couldn't stand still when brushing his.

Kyoya had to lean on one leg, run a hand through his hair, read the back of her cleanser bottle and do everything except the basic stand-and-look-in-mirror-while-brushing-technique. He also flicked the brush at the sink more than once, never hitting anything but the aimed at object but always gaining a look from his wife.

He did it again. She flicked hers as an amused, yet mocking gesture. It hit the mirror. She glared at him in it, hissed a minty breath and then laughed, covering her mouth so that no one would get a view of her foam bathing teeth.

Kyoya didn't get it.

He found her need to cleanse, tone and moisturise while he shaved rather amusing though. Once she had sneezed while lathering her face and had ended up snorting a copious amount of _Clean, Clear and Under Control; for normal skin_ up her nose. He'd cut himself as a result from the sudden bout of sneezing that had resulted.

"Why do you do that?" He had asked, one chilly morning in the New Zealand mountains. They were near Queenstown, on the South Island. He would teach her to ski that day.

"Do what?" She was toning.

"Put chemicals on your face."

"And that bottle of shaving cream doesn't have chemicals in it?"

"Not as many as that."

"I'm a girl. Leave my routine alone." Pause. "By the way, that shaving cream is really good. Where did you get it?"  
"Why are you using my shaving cream?"

"Legs. Duh."

He thought it had been disappearing faster than it should have. "You didn't bring a razor." He'd seen the inside of her toiletries bag.

"Mm." She bit her lip guiltily. "But you did." She said quickly before vacating the room quickly. She stuck her head through the door a minute later. "Really good razor too."

"When I opened a joint account for us, it didn't include sanitary items." Came the flat reply.

"Yes. I know. But one buys sanitary items with the joint account because that's the one we shop on, right?"

"You spend more on hygiene than I do."  
Once again. "I'm a girl." She disappeared to find a pair of waterproof pants. He wouldn't sympathise when she fell over that day.

-

Surprisingly, Yuuki was good in the snow. Or, not so usurpingly to Kyoya. The only time she fell over spectacularly was when she took him down too. Skis were very uncomfortable when in the vertical position.

"Wow. De'ja'vous." Yuuki said, looking up at Kyoya as he tried not to crush her on landing.

"When I said 'don't ski on that, its ice' I meant 'don't ski on that, its ice.'" He said, trying to untangle his skis from hers.

"But you and I have had such good memories on the ice." Yuuki pulled her beanie down. The snow was trying to freeze her ears off.

Kyoya smiled. He could calculate things to his advantage. She could too. Only, she hadn't learnt how to do it and not get hurt at the same time. "Mm." He kissed her.

The girl felt them slipping down the hill. Waterproof clothing was like tubing, only without the tube and a lot slower. "Hmmm..." She pulled away. "Kyoya. Sliding. Hill."

He looked down and saw a deep rift of powder snow. They slipped right into it and stopped dead. Lost somewhere between the snow and the sky. "No we're not." He replied haughtily before kissing her again.

The sun made the snow glitter like diamonds. Not ones as pretty or meaningful as those on Yuuki Ootori's left ring finger, but beautiful all the same. Yuuki liked the feel of it on her face. She liked the feel of it on her hand as it rested behind Kyoya's neck. He was her sun. A light in dark places when all other light had gone out. The only one who hadn't abandoned her. The one who had offered her a place to stay when her father withdrew his funds from Ouran. The one who had held her when she had no family left. He was special. He held her when she had a nightmare, without even asking if it had happened. He just knew. Yuuki felt back because he slept like a rock and she couldn't tell unless he actually said something. That was one of their differences, she expressed emotion in little gestures, he did it with even smaller ones or not at all. A business man. Yuuki wanted to know every feature of every day in his face. It was addictive, trying to answer his mysteries.  
A large group of snowboarders slid past. One stopped, causing the rest of the group to. "GET A ROOM!" He yelled before racing off immaturely.

Kyoya didn't look at him, he looked at his wife. She went scarlet. Even more so than the cold had provided. Her nose was red on the tip, but now her cheeks were flushed too. She fought to untangle her skis. Her husband helped her up. She had to help him balance for a second as the ice slick extended under his foot.

Yuuki laughed. She'd never laughed so much in her life as she did with him. He was her light. She was addicted to him. Everything about him. Even his dark mood. She was addicted because it was him and she was captivated by every single millimetre of him and would be forever.

-  
_Hit me like a ray of sun  
Burning through my darkest night  
You're the only one that I want  
Think I'm addicted to your light_

-

Late that evening, when Kyoya was sitting in a big armchair reading his unreadable book, Yuuki slid up beside him. She's just had a shower and smelled like soap. He moved over slightly and let her swing her legs across his and lean against the other side of the chair.

"Cold?" He didn't look up.

"No."

He looked up. She was wearing his black sweater again. Kyoya smiled. "That is my favourite shirt. You know that, right?"

Yuuki smiled. "Is it your favourite because I wear it, or because you like it?"  
Amused silence. "Both."

Comfortable silence. The girl slid her hand into his idle one and played with his fingers. He had long, beautiful fingers. And deep, grey eyes. And pitch black hair. He was breathtaking to her. He was hers. Yuuki tilted her head to one side and looked at him. The lamp behind his head haloed him for a moment before fading. No fallen angel gets heavenly glory for long. She thanked God nonetheless.

"Halo." Mrs Ootori said gently.

"Hm?" Kyoya looked up.

"Nothing." She smiled softly at him.

Mr Ootori returned the tender gesture and turned back to his book. Everything they'd gone through and everything they'd accomplished could never be explained in words. He didn't ask her to repeat the one he missed; he knew what she'd said. She had adored him and something physical had slipped through. An expression of love, professed verbally. He liked it when that happened. He liked it when both combined to make love. He liked it when there was just silence. Alone time, but in the presence of the person who knew exactly who you were alone. There was no need for a facade. They knew the unmasked. So alone time, private time, was just as individual and personal when the other was in the room. They had never been complete before meeting and never would be unless they were together. Physically, in understanding, emotionally, through love on distance. They just were. And always would be. So it didn't matter if the other wasn't there. They knew. It didn't matter if they were. They knew. But both loved the company and craved it, even in the moment they were cut off for blinking. Two halves of the same whole. Different pieces of fabric, the same piece of cloth.

Kyoya. Yuuki. Husband. Wife. Mr. Mrs. Ootori.

-

_I can see your halo, halo, halo._

_(Halo, Beyonce)_

_-_

------

_I know. Sorry. Busy._

_This chapter was inspired by Halo and its music video, from Beyonce. _

_It took a long time to write this, and yes, it is shorter than most chapters, but I felt I needed to define the new relationship between them. Yuuki and Kyoya are married, not much has changed between them emotionally or psychologically, yet, their relationship goes much deeper. _

_It's not a 'honeymoon' chapter. It's their chapter. Just Yuuki and Kyoya without anything else. The raw essentials. The deepest, most private moments. As readers, you are part of their story, and cutting it out was like cutting you out. _

_I find fluff very difficult to write. But I like this chapter. I like how it helps the previous chapters blend into the post-wedding story. That's essentially the main point. Creating a different aspect of the relationship to build on. _

_So yeah. Hope you enjoyed. ^-^_

_Blessings, _

_-pp_

_P.S. KYOYA AND YUUKI's FAMILY STILL EXIST. ^-^ I know they havnt been in the last few chapters, I've mentioned their whereabouts a few times, but not really. Sorry. I was focusing a little to hard on Yuuki and Kyoya to pay attention to the beings that brought them into existence. _

_..._

_Anyway._


	28. Chapter 26

-

**Chapter 26**

**-**

When Kyoya was angry, he liked to throw things. He got angry at Tamaki and threw a table. He got angry at a driver and threw his fist into a car. He got angry and threw a vase into a plasma. Yuuki got angry when he threw her psychology textbook at a wall and broke the spine.

The girl started at the thud. "What the hell?! Kyoya. If you say 'go to university' don't go breaking the things I need to do so!"

He stopped her from going to retrieve it. "You let Hikaru and Kaoru get into this house, with the complete intention of playing their new _Rock'n'Roll_ game?! Or whatever the hell it was that they did to the house. My parents are coming over for dinner and the TV is in the pool!"

"I didn't know they would do that. Okay? They said they would bring a few friends around."

"A hundred is not a few! This isn't high school!"

"No." She pushed past him. "It isn't high school." Her book was out of place. Half the pages stuck out beyond the point they should have. "But you're a hypocrite, you know that?"

"Oh. No. I don't. Pray tell." He was seething.

Yuuki stared. "You got mad at me..." She pointed at herself. "...for something HIKARU and KAORU did. And then you do the same thing! Don't throw my things!"

"At least I was sober when I threw it! Unlike Deedle Dee and Deedle Dum."

"Oh! Oh! And that just makes it all better, doesn't it?"

Hikaru and Kaoru had decided that, once a couple had been married near a year, it was okay to host parties at their house. In the middle of the day. Yuuki was at university during the morning, Kyoya was at the hospital, or at the office or at a meeting somewhere. Marital bliss didn't exist, they knew that. Life existed and one had to learn to create bliss within that. Part of life was fighting. Something the girl was terribly afraid of. When the twins said they wanted to visit with a few friends, Yuuki hadn't thought for a moment what sort of trouble that could bring. They were her friends and she would welcome theirs. In the end, a few turned into a hundred and a hundred turned into a High School Rave in their living room. Hikaru and Kaoru had promptly disappeared and the maid had promptly almost had a heart attack. Kyoya had come home that afternoon to find his wife holding what she was supposed to be doing, her assignment, and staring at the pool where a TV now floated happily. Everything else had been cleaned, a few vases and paintings were missing, but it was enough for his parents to pick at.

Kyoya ran a hand over his face. "How could you even let them inside? You know what the twins do for fun. It's not exactly conventional."

Yuuki stared. She didn't know. "I don't know. I'm not perfect. I'm not like you. I can't do these....things! Its..." The girl threw her hands into the air and flung the door open before disappearing into another room.

"Yuuki. Don't walk away from me." The man stood with his jaw clenched. "Yuuki! Damn it!" He exhaled angrily and followed, knowing all too well that his wife's talent for disappearing when they fought was going to appear just as she ceased to. "Yuuki. Don't hide from me. You have to learn to fight sometime." He found her textbook on a side-table.

Silence.

"Yuuki!? My parents are going to be here in two hours. Come out."

Silence.

Kyoya leant on one leg and covered his face with his hand. Every time they'd had a fight bigger than bickering for a resolution, she disappeared. Over the course of the year, he'd found her in the stable, the pantry and the bathroom. All relating to fights about one thing. Conviction. Yuuki wanted to please people. She didn't like to upset or let down; which is perfectly natural. Except that her need to do so was heightened by the apparent failure to her father. Everything had to be perfect, done to faultlessness, and everyone had to be happy. The last time Yuuki had disappeared was when a salesperson had miraculously appeared on the doorstep. She'd let him in. Kyoya had arrived home a minute later and promptly let him out. When he went back inside to address the rip-offs provided by sales people, his wife was gone. They didn't even talked, she'd just...vanished. Thinking he was mad. She didn't understand that he was never mad at her. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Yuuki couldn't grasp the fact that someone could love her when they were mad at her. So she hid until they weren't mad anymore.

Of course they fought. No couple doesn't. But it didn't mean they didn't love. All it meant was that they loved enough to want to uphold what they'd started and not let a trivial act or mistake turn into something greater if not stopped and corrected. They fought for resolution, not because they liked it, but because sometimes it was necessary. However, one cannot fight when the other isn't present.

Kyoya walked into the kitchen. The cook had just arrived to start preparing for later that evening. "Have you seen Mrs Ootori?" Mr Ootori asked.

The man shook his head.

Half an hour later, Tachi came up from the stable. Zero had laminitis and he had been giving him his meds. Kyoya caught him as he was about to leave "Have you seen Yuuki?"

"No. I hear she got caught up in the twins trouble. At least this time the joke wasn't on her." The man smiled and climbed into his car.

The other man realised something. The Hitachiin's could hold a party at their own house, at a normal time; like night, at their own cost. Holding a party in the middle of the day was just too conspicuous. They'd wanted to get payback for the wedding revenge and had seen the night Kyoya's parents came over for dinner as the perfect ploy. The Ootori hissed and pulled his phone out and dialled their number.

"_Hitachiin."_ One of the twins answered.

"Listen up, brats." The man seethed, walking determinedly back to his now, slightly unfurnished house. "If I have to deal with you running around my living room, screaming 'Kya! Kya!' another damned time, I swear to God you'll be sorry. And not just cost of a TAB sorry. Cost of your future sorry."

"_Hey, Kyoya!" _Came the cheery reply. _"How's Yuuki?"_

"Get the hell out of the country before I come and kick you out myself." His house was disheveled, his wife was missing and upset, he was furious, his plans had been thrown awry.

"_Oh. Calm down Ootori. It's just a bit of payback."_

"A Monet is missing." Came the flat yet scathing reply. It was the one his mother looked at every time she came around. Of course it was missing.

"_You can get another print."_

"IT WASN'T A PRINT! Or a copy. Damn it twin, the French Ambassador gave it to us as a wedding present."

Silence. _"Really?"_ That cost a lot more than a wedding TAB.

"And the TV? Giving it a bath was not smart either. Also, the cost of the vase in the foyer was more extortionate than the funds coming into your little tutu business. Or, would have been if I wasn't about to call every rich, fashionable woman and her dog on the planet and told them not to spend anything in your business. Or with you. Or near you. Or with anything related to." He would too.

"_Did you and Yuuki have a fight?" _He wouldn't have exploded if it had just been a mischievous act.

"What the hell do you think?" He hadn't known it was all an elaborate prank. He'd made a mistake somewhere along the way and blamed her for the Hitachiin uprising.

"_Big fight?"_

"Can you see Yuuki having a big fight?"

"_No."_

"What can you see her doing?" He said mockingly, pacing around the house, looking in various rooms.

"_Disappearing." _The answer was almost gleeful.

"Exactly."Kyoya stopped. "Tonight, if I don't find her before my parents arrive…people are going to be finding you in pieces. Savvy?"

"_She'll come out." _

"She hates my parents. Almost as much as they hate her." They were just waiting for her to slip up so that they could say I-told-you-so. They would take this as one of those events and take her hiding as an inability to handle their now, very tense, life. Her university, his overtaking his father.

"_Where have you looked?"_ The twins didn't want to have to pay reparations and were trying to slide out of that.

Kyoya clenched his jaw. Everywhere. "Listen. Brats. You stay the hell away from Yuuki and myself unless you're coming to apologize. With a check including the cost of everything you destroyed, with interest." Click.

He had looked everywhere. He looked everywhere again. As the Ootori passed through the hall, he paused. There was one place he would never have thought to look. The linen closet.

Yuuki was crouched in the bottom corner, next to the vacuum cleaner, her arms wrapped around her knees and her face buried in the middle.

Kyoya sighed with relief when he found her. "There you are."

She looked up. "I didn't know." Her tone was cautious.

"I know. The twins wanted to get payback for the wedding."

"Tamaki and Haruhi's?"  
"We're not the only ones who believe revenge is a dish best served cold." Her husband knelt down in front of her. "If I hurt you, it's not what I wanted." He'd exploded in the search for resolve, without thinking about shrapnel.

"So it's not my fault?"

"No. It's not your fault." He hung his head and breathed. "It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I yelled back." She smiled and sniffed. "I'm getting better at this."

Kyoya pulled her out of the closet. "You're also getting very good at hiding. You have to learn how to fight me."

"But you're so much taller than I am." She stood guiltily in the hall.

"You have to learn, Yuuki. I have to learn. I didn't see that coming. Those brats…"

"Neither did I." Her voice was quiet.

Kyoya looked at his watch. The same one she'd given him their first Christmas. He was still pissed. Heavily. "Go…get changed. My parents will be here in half an hour."

"Oh. Good." Yuuki pulled a piece of lint out of her hair. "Grab your torch and pitchforks."

"We'll be talking about that later too. Stop hating them."

"You hate them."

Silence. "Just…go shower."

"Ask me nicely, then I will." She was getting better. He would have to get better too.  
"Please? Yuuki. It's been a long day." He sighed heavily.  
"Okay." His wife squeezed his hand on passing. She understood stress. She tried understand his stress. Kyoya and his father were not on the greatest of terms as far as daddy and son go. They were business partners. Yuuki had felt a longing for family and realized that he probably had it too. He had her brother, he had his sister. But she was now juggling two kids and a husband who spent most of his days in meetings and missing anniversaries. Kyoya and Yuuki wouldn't get like that. Even if it meant giving something else up. Nothing was worth losing their marriage over. Of course it would hurt at times. Of course they would suffer. Neither wanted their partner to miss out on anything, but neither wanted to miss out on anything of their partner. That's probably what _marital bliss _is. Finding the balance between the two. A honeymoon is that. It's a balance between partners. After the honeymoon, when the real world impacts on your reality, then it's harder to maintain. Especially when human error was brought into the picture.

Kyoya sat on the sink while Yuuki showered. The frosted glass case filled with steam as she tried to relax. It was easy to tell if she'd had a long day, she always came out of the shower red. "You'll burn yourself." Her husband said flatly.

"It's not that hot."

"Uhuh."

Sounds of water drilling against skin. "Kyoya?"

"Mmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Just catching one's breath."

"In the bathroom?" Her voice was echoed in the cubicle.

"You were in the linen closet."

"Oh. Haha." Not very amused.

"Are you alright?"

"I guess."  
"What would make you happy?"

"Not fighting."

"Yuuki, everyone fights." Contrast to other couples arguments, theirs weren't so bad.

"I don't want to fight with you." It was easier to talk about things that brought her guard up when she was on the other side of a piece of glass. It helped. A little. The rest of the help was that he'd come.

"I don't want to fight with you either. But we can't live in a happy little world all the time, we're not on honeymoon anymore. Things go wrong, that's what makes it real."

"So. If we just didn't fight, it would…be…unreal?"  
"No. It would be one side of a picture."

"And if we did fight…"

"Then we would be able to discuss things that we close up about. And then eventually not fight about them."

She laughed softly. "Can't storm the castle without an army." It did make sense.

Kyoya smiled. "No. You can't." Pause. "Because we fight, everything is more beautiful."

"It makes it last." Because they wanted to fight to reach it again.

"Exactly." Getting married is easy. Marriage is harder. Sometimes you just had to stuck it in and accept the fact and just get stronger with the other.

The shower kept going, filling their silence. Thought was a key to trouble. It caused it and fixed it. They were mortal. Human. Every moment might have been their last. Which is why every moment they sought to help the other, not hurt them. That was the point. Everything was more beautiful because everything was flawed. Everything made mistakes. Only God got things right the first time. They would never be younger than they were now. They would never be in that moment again, but it would be in them. A guide. It could have been a scar, but they understood enough to make it not so. Love is the greatest enemy and the best friend. It has power beyond any man holds.

"Kyoya?" Yuuki said.

"Mm?"

"Want me to leave the water running?"

The Ootori took his glasses off and put them on the counter. "Only if you turn the hot down a bit."

The water tone changed slightly as it was altered. The door opened slightly. "Towel, please." A pale hand stuck out.

None was given. Kyoya's parents had something else to pick at. The lateness of the hosts. They were hiding together. Rebuilding their world so that it was stronger than the one that had crumbled under a mistake. It was a process of build and rebuild. Until they finally got it right. They might have been right, but nothing else could be expected to be the same.

-

_Run baby, run. Don't ever look back  
They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance  
Don't sell your heart  
Don't say we're not meant to be  
Run baby, run, forever we'll be  
You and me  
Check yes Juliet  
I'll be waiting, wishing, wanting  
Yours for the taking  
Just sneak out, and don't tell a soul goodbye  
Check yes Juliet  
Here's the countdown; 3, 2, 1, now fall in my arms now  
They can change the locks,  
Don't let them change your mind_

_(Check Yes Juliet, We are the kings)_

-

"So." Kyoya's mother sat across from Yuuki. "How is your family?"

"My brother is well. His daughter turns one in a few months."

"Ah. Yes. Have you heard from your father recently?"

"No." The woman was obviously trying to make her uncomfortable.

"Yuuki doesn't have a father." Kyoya broke his discussion with his father to give his mother a look that suggested she stop the topic now.

"Oh. So you've technically lost both parents?"

Yuuki put her cutlery down. "Yes."

"Ah." The woman smiled. Her face had begun to crinkle. Like tissue paper. "See, it is my belief, Yuuki, that losing one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both…looks like carelessness."

The girl stared. "Yes. I would think that it is also a belief of yours that in matters of upmost importance, style, not sincerity is the most vital thing." She replied with polite wit.

The woman smiled. "Of course."

Yuuki glared at Kyoya. He smiled at her, he knew how offended his parents had been by their lateness; he was already a winner before the hidden insults began. "So. I hope we didn't keep you waiting too long?"

His wife's stare changed. She was amused. Kyoya's father didn't seem to notice this. "It was long enough."

Yuuki ate some asparagus. Mrs Ootori watched her, scrutinizing her every move. No woman, especially one bred middle class, would be good enough for the son chosen as heir. "You've heard about the Suoh pregnancy?"  
"Yes." They were the first to hear. Tamaki had launched himself through the front door in the middle of the night and danced around about becoming a dad.

"Almost two years into the marriage and their expecting. Isn't it wonderful? The Suoh heir will have an heir."

"If it's a boy." Yuuki pointed out.

"Well. They've started early enough that they can have a boy, even if the coming child is not one."

Suddenly, the girl felt very uncomfortable.

Kyoya's mother continued. "Will you be producing a child any time soon?"

Yuuki chocked on a glass of water. Kyoya tried not to laugh and pushed his glasses up instead. "No, mother. We are not going to be spawning life any time soon."

"Oh. You will have children though?" His father said.

"Yuuki and I are not fond of children."

"To be fond of a child…" Mrs Ootori took over again. "…is irrelevant. To create an heir, is."

"We just got married." Yuuki pointed out.

"Yes. But we need a child in the wedlock, not out of it."

"I'm sorry, what?"  
"Oh. Don't worry dear. We all know you married for money, our money, not love."

Kyoya coughed. "Excuse me? You're being exceptionally rude."

"What?"

"I'm going to ask you to leave, very soon."

"Why, dear?"  
"If you insult my wife, one more time, I will be tempted to become careless with you both."

"You mean to say you would divorce us?" His father said, flatly.

Kyoya put his glass down. "I will if you continue to be disrespectful. I think we all know who has the true power of the Ootori group, father."

Oh. Snap. Yuuki stared at her husband. The woman across from her stared, long and hard. "Well. I think we all know who married right."

The girl sighed. "Alright. Alright. I know I'm not the prime choice for your son. But I was for him. Yes we fight. Yes we have friends who would prefer to watch TV in the pool and borrow various items of furniture, yes it's a little odd. But it works." She drummed the table with her fingers. "I know you think I'm not good enough, but I am. I'm a hell of a lot better than you ever gave me credit for and I most certainty did not marry your son for money or anything like it. I had my own, thank you very much. He and I fight, but that doesn't call for lawyers and a divorce court. It just means we disagree on something and raised our voices a little before finding a resolution. There is nothing said to purposely hurt the other. If you jump for joy every time your son and I have a fight, you'll soon need a hip replacement. But don't go holding your breath for a separation. You'll pass out long, long, long before…oh wait. Nothings going to happen that you hope will."

Mrs Ootori, senior, sat in her chair, aghast. Mr Ootori, senior, stared at the girl. "You're lines are dishonorable, you cannot expect my wife to accept them straight away."

Yuuki got really mad. "You're lines are less than perfect too. Or seem to be the way you treat me in this house."

"And the way you treat us in this house? You kept your husband from his guests and kept them waiting in the foyer." Pause. "What were you doing, seducing him to offend us? Or to just offend him with your ill breeding?"

Kyoya stood. "Alright. Pleasant evening. Thank you. Get out."

His father stood and realized for the first time that his sons mannerisms dominated his own. "I would teach your wife to hold her tongue."

"And I would teach you to hold yours." He pushed his glasses up and nodded a curt goodbye. "Mother."

"Goodbye, Kyoya." The woman collected her things and stood. She gave Yuuki a once over and headed through the house for the door. "Ooh. Dear. What happened to your Monet?"

Her son ignored the question and led the couple to the door. He slammed it after their driver had pulled away and returned to the table. Yuuki had her chin in her hand. "You parental's are all kinds of awesome. Such winning charm." Her tone was heavily sarcastic.

"And yours was so much greater." He collapsed into the now vacated opposite chair.

"What do they have against me? I know I'm not the best thing that ever crossed their lives, or the richest, smartest, whatever. But it's not a cause to ruin anything with you."

"Yes. Well. Blood lines in the upper class are very important. Hence, the not so overwhelming joy of Haruhi and Tamaki's baby. They like the idea, but only because the Suoh family will have a child less than what they expect the rest of the family to have. And with regards to my relationship with them, it's no more than business. Just another million dollar baby. As such. After the first son, the others are just backups in case of say…car accidents. Or their just products of a drunken, loveless night."

"That's just…"

"Low? Of the upper classes who can afford that sort of thing and count it leisure?" Pause. "Well. They are my parents. As soon as I get the business, we don't have to know them anymore."

"A relationship of convenience." Yuuki put a hand over his across the table. "Does that suck for you? Honestly?"

He smiled at her choice of words. "It's alright. We compensate."

"Host Club."  
"Exactly."

"I've never had so many brothers before."

"Do I sense a tone of triviality?"

"No. Just realizing the importance of being earnest."

Low laugh. "Why?"  
"It gets rid of your mother faster."

Proper laugh.

-

_I've heard it said  
That people come into our lives for a reason  
Bringing something we must learn  
And we are led  
To those who help us most to grow  
If we let them  
And we help them in return  
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true  
But I know I'm who I am today  
Because I knew you_

_(Good, Wicked)_

_-_

Yuuki put her hands on Haruhi's five month pregnant belly. Most women saw a bump at around four months, Haruhi's had only come in properly at five.

"Little baby." Her friend said, talking to the swollen stomach. "Hello in there little baby."

Haruhi smiled. "Feeling maternal yet?" They were on the Ootori patio.

"No." Yuuki laughed. "But I can talk to your baby." She spoke to the belly again. "Are you excited to see me? I'm not too excited to see you. Because you scream. Like Suki's bundle of joy. But you'll be nice when you grow up. I'll like you when your parents get sick of you."

It was Haruhi's turn to laugh. "I don't think I would get sick of it."

"Morning sickness?"

"Well. Yes. But that's hormones, not the baby."  
"Your job?"

"I worked as a lawyer before I got pregnant. I can do it again when the kid goes to school. My mother could do it. So can I."

"Ah!" Tamaki appeared and kissed his wife. "Hello." Pause. "Hi Yuuki."

"Ew. You're all sweaty." Haruhi pulled away from him.

Tamaki and Kyoya played basketball every Wednesday. "I don't sweat."

"No." The Ootori stepped into the room and rolled his eyes. "He glows."

The blonde beamed and put his hands on his wife's tummy. Yuuki had gone to avoid saying hello to Kyoya. She'd already had a shower. "So. Is it a boy, or a girl?"

"I don't know." Came the reply. "What do you want?"

Tamaki thought a moment. "I have no idea."

Yuuki put a hand out at Kyoya to stop him from greeting her. "No. Don't. I swear…" He hugged her. "…ew."

"I have to put up with you when you come in from riding."

"That's a nice, horsey smell. This isn't…a nice…boy smell…"

"I have to put up with it every day."  
"Yeah. Well."

"Say a proper hello."

"No."

"Yuuki." He was a little amused.

She looked at him and then at the other couple. Haruhi had given up with her Tamaki-ball-of-sweat. Yuuki stared back at Kyoya. "Hello." She said cheerily, cutting corners.

"You know what I meant."

"You're all…yucky."

"So?"

She pulled a face. "Yucky." Pause. "Go shower."

"You're being rude."

The girl stared blankly and then kissed him lightly. "Happy? Yeah. Didn't think so. Shower."

Kyoya laughed. She went riding every morning when he was asleep, had a shower and crawled back into bed. It was very hygienic of her and dozed for another half hour. Yuuki was a secret clean freak. Very secret.

There was a soft knock at the door and Mrs Ootori decided to escape the steaming mess of young man to go answer it. Mako smiled at her. "Hello little sister."

Yuuki hugged her brother. "Hello. Why are you here?"

"Kira and I are in a bit of a spot. We planned to go to the ballet tonight, but our babysitter just bailed…"

"No." They were on good relations, but not that good. "No. No. Refuse."

"Come on. Please? It's just for a few hours, she'll go to sleep." Hanna, the newest Cunxin development, was one and a half and had just found her feet. "She's an angel." One who knew how to run.

"With you." Yuuki looked over her brother's shoulder. His wife waved from the car window and got her child to do the same. "You came prepared."

"We're going to be late."

The girl sighed. "She better sleep."

"Thank you!" Mako kissed her head and went to collect his child.

Half an hour later, Yuuki was sitting in the lounge watching her best friend look after her niece. She still didn't want kids of her own, but she could see why one would want to. They were a perfect whole of two beings. An explanation of love with a heartbeat. Hunny and Mori were also in the room, the twins were not. They had decided to be away for the gathering. Especially since it was to install a new TV.

"So…Haru-chan is expecting a baby. When will Yuu-chan expect one?"

Yuuki smiled at him. "On a blue moon."

"The moon is never blue."

"Okay…um…" Rephrase that. "Not yet."

"You will though?"  
Yuuki looked at Kyoya. "Maybe."

Her husband turned the new TV on. Mori stood up straight from where he had been tinkering behind it. "It works." His baritone voice reverberated through the room.

Hunny climbed onto the couch and was joined by his cousin. "Good job Takashi!" The little blonde beamed.

Kyoya glanced at Yuuki. A baby. She caught his eye. Maybe.

Hanna giggled and grabbed Tamaki's nose. He was sitting beside his wife. "Oh!" The Suoh exclaimed. "Nose?" He touched her nose. Haruhi held the child upright on her knees.

The Ootori couple looked at each other again. After their argument from earlier, it was obvious that the stress of university and work only really left time for each other. Yuuki rode when he was asleep. He kept fit with his friend so that the wife could keep his company. They were always trying to maintain balance. Kyoya lived for planning and equilibrium. A baby, at the moment, would throw that balance out. But it would be everything they were when they were apart. It would be him and her in one form. A definition of the inexplicable.

Maybe.

Not yet.

Maybe.

Yuuki tapped his foot with hers. He was sitting in the chair beside hers. "Not yet."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "What do we say for the meantime? My parents are asking."

The girl thought of something that would work as an answer and annoy the senior Ootori's immensely. "Tell them…we're just practicing."

Her husband smiled. Everyone except his parents would think that meant looking after other people's children. His parents would think…something scandalous.

-

Late that night, when Yuuki and Kyoya were lying in bed, the topic was brought up and addressed correctly.

"Do you want kids?" The girl asked, looking at him. "Ever?"

"One day." He stared at the ceiling. "Maybe."

"Maybe doesn't work. You think about a lot of things, surely spawn was one of them?"

He laughed. "Spawn? Did you play _Halo_ when the sons of doom were here?"

"_Halo 3_."

"Oh. Well done." Pause. "Well, now it's a watery mess."

"Okay. Sidetracked." Yuuki waved her arm to illustrate how their conversation had so quickly veered.

"Kids…hm."

"Not now, obviously. But will you regret not having any?"

"I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

"You think about everything. Be spontaneous for once."

"What good has spontaneity ever brought the world?"

Yuuki kissed him. "That was spontaneous."

"I can see why people like it." Pause. "But a spontaneous life form is probably not something you want to have."

"No. Probably not." She draped her arms across his chest. "But I was thinking. You know all those things people say about us being two halves of the same whole, but at the same time two whole beings?"

"Mm?" Kyoya stroked the back of her head and down the length of her hair.  
"Well, a child is probably the best way to explain that. Its half you, half me…in one form. Like…the indescribable we never could describe. The part of _us_ that we couldn't ever…define. I mean, there's you. There's me. And then there's you and me."

"Do you want kids?"

"No." Pause. "I don't know."

"Well, we're not having if you don't know."

"You don't know either."

Pause. "It wouldn't be a terrible idea for the future. An idea. Right now, no."

"Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"Okay as in, I agree. Not as in, aw…and I so wanted children. We have like…thirty years before I go through menopause."

"I think it's less than thirty. And you want children before you turn thirty five otherwise the chance of disease is higher."

Yuuki sighed. "Again, that's a long time away."

"Hm."

There was a long silence. "Hey. Could you help me with my assignment?"

"Which one?"  
"The one on the impact of the media on adolescents according to Kornblum."

"I have to work."

"I never see you anymore."

"It's mutual."

"Don't go to work tomorrow. My professor is sick and the stand-in is just re-doing what he already said. We can spend the whole day at home."

"That possible…when you're on honeymoon. Not now. I miss you, but I have to go to work."

"I don't feel very missed."

"You know for a fact that I miss you. Just because we're married doesn't mean anything changes. You just notice the timetable more because we live together."

"Maybe."  
"Go to university. We can go away for the weekend."  
"Where?"

"The beach or the mountains."

Pause. "Let's just…stay here." Yuuki put her head down in the middle of his chest.

"Less weather problems. Less travel time."

"Exactly."

"More time."

"Mm." The girl shifted slightly. "I've missed you."

"Me too."

Half a minute later, they were both asleep. They were exhausted of life. It threw things at them continuously. One busy day after the other after the other after the other. There seemed to be so little time anymore and the path two out of every three couples take was obvious. Divorce seemed so high when people didn't have time to remember why they got married in the first place. Yuuki couldn't forget. She'd tried to forget once and had ended up in a big city all on her own without friends or family. Kyoya had tried to forget and had ended up desperate for the first and only time in his life. It was impossible to forget a bond like that. But it was possible to lose sight of it for a moment.

That's why, the next morning, when Yuuki came back from her ride, she pulled on one of his shirts instead of one of her own before crawling back under the covers. She was going to take the day off. Sometimes, people just need a day of to refocus. Taking that time made things clearer, helped you find them again. Just slowed life down to a walk again.

Kyoya got up and let her sleep. He knew his wife could get ready in five minutes if she had to. He'd wake her up for breakfast. The man sat on the side of the bed to button his shirt up and soon felt the warmth of another pressed against his back.

"Good ride?"  
"Mm. He was naughty this morning."

"How so?"

"He bucked. Not over his laminitis yet, which is really unfortunate. I should stay off."

"You'll come off."

"Like that's never happened."

Silence. "Kyoya?"

"Yes?"

"Stay home today."

"Why? You'll be at university."

"No. I decided that I was sick this morning."

"How primary school of you."

"Thank you."

Pause. "I can't."

Yuuki sat beside him and then moved so that she had one leg on either side of him and was sitting on his knees. She did his tie up for him. "Pity. I liked it when we spent the whole day together."

"We have the weekend."  
"We have a party on the weekend. A function. Thing." Her expression was puzzled for a moment as she tried to work out exactly what the event was. "Remember, that thing?"  
"The benefit?" Kyoya put his hands on her waist and went to lift her off his knee's so that they could have breakfast.  
"Yes. That one." Yuuki caught his hand. "I know you have to work. But I also know we need to work to make this work. I didn't marry you so that I never saw you."

"I know. But pinning me won't work."

"Why are you so adamant on leaving?"

"I'm not. It's just what I planned."

"You need spontaneity."

"Spontaneity didn't get me where I am."

"But your there now, one day won't matter."

Kyoya sighed. "Do you really miss me that much?"

"Just as much as you miss me. Only, my life is a little less exciting." She kissed the corner of his jaw sweetly.

Her touches, her kisses; they were so simple. So gentle. So poignant. Everything she did spoke softly but spoke with a deep, controlled passion.

Kyoya called in sick and spent the day in bed.

-

_We both acknowledge what we came here for  
We take each other and walk through the open door  
From the first time that I saw you  
To the way you look tonight  
I was shaken by your spirit  
I was blinded by your light__(Wedding Day, Bee Gees)_

And the world that I used to see is gone without a trace  
Replaced by your eyes and the smile upon your face  
And I will not turn away  
'Cause you might disappear  
I was haunted by your heart  
And I felt that you were here

And funny when the time is right  
When lightning strikes  
You're not alone  
Baby, I will pray for you my whole life through

You know I will remember well the mission bell  
That rings your name  
And baby there could never be  
A memory like you

We'll be together  
Husband and wife  
Now and forever  
Lovers for life  
Well, take me to Heaven  
This is my pledge to you  
I will follow through to the end

_-_

"YUUKI! Where's my laptop?" Kyoya called from the study. His wife had used it last, she'd hacked the password and he'd found her in the kitchen with it, trying to write an essay on cognitive development. Her laptop had run out of battery and gone to _sleep_.

"Marvin's in there. I put him back." She stuck her head through the door.

"Where in here?" He hated it when he lost things. Important things. He'd never done it before he met Yuuki.

"On the desk." She called, leaving down the hall.

The desk was meticulous. Inbox, outbox, clipboard, files, phone. Absent space. "No, it's not. Yuuki I swear, if you've lost that computer…"

His wife reappeared in the doorway. She walked into the room, sighed, picked up a pile of letters from the inbox, pulled Marvin out, gave it to her husband, headed back out. "Where do you think I put it?"  
"On the actual desk. That would be conventional." Kyoya stared at the inbox. It made sense. Sort of.

"Well. That's not fun is it? That's what everyone else would have done." She smiled. "You said, 'deliver it back to the study' when I was done. So…I put it with the other deliveries on your desk"

"Huh." The Ootori pushed his glasses up. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Kyoya sat down and started his computer. The wallpaper had changed from the business like dark grey and navy blue pattern. It was now a picture of a day the host club had spent out. Tamaki was still obsessed with commoner life, thus, when the fair had come to town, everyone had to go. The image showed Mori holding Hunny's bright red balloon, Hunny holding aloft a new Bunny that he'd won at a ball toss, Tamaki cautiously testing a processed hot-dog and Haruhi telling him it wasn't a good idea. Yuuki was in the foreground with a stick of bright pink candy floss; Kyoya was standing behind her, hand in pocket, taking in the people. Business was obviously the only thing on his mind that moment. In the background, a giant white Ferris Wheel turned against a cloudless sky. It had been a perfect day, and he had been thinking about what sort of age group one could target at an event like a fair while all his friends made the day of it.

Kyoya drummed his fingers on the table and thought a moment. It was within his nature to be Shadow King. But suddenly, his wife's argument the day before about him being away and them not seeing each other as much made a little more sense from her perspective. When they married, they said nothing would change. Their relationship was still a part of everyday life, a really good part, but everyday life seemed to slowly becoming part of their relationship. And that wasn't how it was supposed to be.

The Ootori pushed his glasses up and opened his work. He'd have to use the wedding gift they'd been given. The one Yuuki had said would hold the flowers he spontaneously bought because he loved her. He had to keep letting her know, or life would let her forget. She was too special to allow to become a pretty little wall flower. She was more than a rich man's ornament. Kyoya wanted her to remember that too.

"Yuuki?"

"Hold on a second." Came the reply. A moment later she appeared in her riding gear, pulling on a jacket.

"Do you have a moment?"  
The woman put her helmet and gloves on the desk. "Yeah. Sure. What's up?"

Kyoya realized that she was doing exactly what he was, but in her way. Sacrificing a little time to let them know something. "Want to see what I'm doing at work?"  
Yuuki rounded the table and sat on his lap happily. "Yes." Even if his work bored her, it was good to be with him and at least be slightly interested.

"You're not riding?" Mr Ootori wrapped his arm around his wife's waist.  
"I was just going to do some dressage. I haven't done it properly with Zero's laminitis."  
"You don't want to go do that?"  
"There's light for a few more hours, Zero's still unwell. I can't do too much work with him for another week. I want to be with you if you want to be with me."

"Of course I do." Pause. "Okay. So, this is the order sheet for the hospital, and this is the income verses expenses…"

Just letting nothing change. Marriage doesn't mean anything has to change, they didn't want it to. Being close, just being. It didn't matter what the situation was. It just mattered that they were together in the situation.

-

Yuuki walked through the stable and let herself into Zero's stall.

"Hey pretty boy. Hey. Feeling better?"

The horse flicked his ears forward and said a hello. He was standing normally, but his feet were tender when he walked.

"Aw. Darling. Still a bit sore in the feet? Sorry."

It had happened when she rode him at a local event. Something in the sand of the ring had aggravated the frog under his hoof and prompted a mild bout of laminitis. It had happened to three other horses.

Zero pressed his nose into her pocket and began to snuffle about.

"Hey. No." Yuuki pulled his face out. "You're on a strict diet. I didn't bring anything for you today."

The horse snorted.

"What?"  
He sniffed her shoulder in an interested manner and snorted again. "That's really gross. And disrespectful." The girl ran her hand down his face. "I know you hate peppermint. But gee, I can't even smell it. You're like…superhorse." She laughed softly.

Zero buried his face in her chest and Yuuki wrapped her arms around the back, he could play. He wasn't sick in the head, just in the feet. "Mm. Bet you can't get away." She cooed. "No. You can't get away." The horse shook his neck and rammed his head backwards. He got away. "Yay. Good boy."

Yuuki ran a hand down his neck, down his shoulder and to his foot. She lifted it up and had a look. "That looks sore." The girl straightened and let him put his foot back down. "I probably shouldn't ride you. But I want to."

Zero stared at her. He didn't understand human. At all. Neither did humans sometimes. Doing something because you want to and doing something because its right are two different things. If she rode, it would hurt him and prolong the illness. If she didn't, he would get better quicker.

"Okay, boy. Not today." Yuuki tickled his nose. "Not today Zero."

The woman knew when to set a boundary. She knew that doing so would lead to something greater than what would occur if you overstepped it. Life has no limits without love, and love has no limits with life.

-

It was a fine, clear, summers night when Shang Cunxin called his daughter. Kyoya was in the study, writing a report on the Japanese medical system and the expenses it was unnecessarily bringing society. Yuuki was sitting on window seat, reading about Freud.

"Hello?"

"_Can I please speak to Yuuki?"_

"This is she."

"_You answer your own phone?"_

"Um. Yes? May I ask who's speaking?"  
_"It's your father."_

There was a long silence. Kyoya looked up. Yuuki had a very puzzled expression on her face. "Um." She looked at the phone, knit her eyebrows together, put it back, opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again.

"_I hear you got married?"_

"Um. Yes. Sorry. I have to go." She went to hang up and found that she couldn't.

"Yuuki?" Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Who is it?"

The girl looked at him. Bewildered. "It's my father."

Her husband eyes went hard and he extended his hand for the phone. It was more a demand than a request. Yuuki handed it over.

"Hello?" Kyoya put his serious work tone on. Hard, cold and flat. "This is he, may I ask why you're calling? Yes, sir. That was almost a year ago. I'm sorry. I don't see how that's relevant. No. No, I refuse. Meaning all disrespect, I don't see how you cannot see why. No. No, we have expressly asked Mako not to give you our address. I know it's not in the phone book with our name. Yes." There was a long pause. Kyoya looked at Yuuki. She was watching him with a wondering expression on her face. "Alright." He handed the phone back. "Mr Cunxin would like to speak with you."

The girl mouthed the words _What? No._ At him, but soon she found herself on the phone again. Kyoya leant back and kept an eye on his wife.

"Hello?" She said hesitantly.

"_Very stagnant young man."_

"Only to those he thinks are a threat."

"_Thinks."_

"And knows."

Silence. "_So, how you been?"_

"I'm sorry. I don't think you have a right to know." Kyoya reached over silently and put speakerphone on. He wanted to know.

"_How's the kid?"_

"What kid?" Yuuki glanced at her husband for a second, silently thanking him for doing that.

"_You married him because you were pregnant, there is no other explanation."_

Kyoya's expression went hard. Yuuki hissed. "You sour old man. You never change, do you?"

"_Hey. It was no attack. Wouldn't be a surprise if you didn't buck the trend."_

"What…trend?"

"_Well. Mako got married for the illegitimate reason. I got married for it."_

Kyoya watched Yuuki's face turn to shock and gloom. "…What?"

"_What? You didn't know?"_

"No…I…"

"_Wow. I never told you?"_

The girl thought. Her whole life they'd never really been on speaking terms. Now she understood why. She was the glue that stuck the marriage together. "You…never loved her?"

"_Oh. Not in the way she loved me. Of course not."_

"So you did?"

"_Love, lust. Whatever."_

If he Shang Cunxin had been in the room, Yuuki would have hit him. "Oh my gosh." Pause. "Why did you call me?" Her tone was a little desperate.

"_Just wanted to…you know…not have you sue me. Play happy families. It looks good if you take me to court, that I called and we had a chat about your wedding."_

Yuuki covered her hand with her mouth and hung up. Kyoya took the phone from its resting place and set it on the end of the window seat before shifting her forward a bit and letting her lean against him. "He was like that his whole life." She realized. "He didn't become like that when…oh my gosh."

"Shh." Kyoya held her head against his chest. "You didn't know."

"I don't know a lot of things it seems."

"You don't know what people don't tell you. What there is nothing to pick up on. No one knows." He hadn't known.

"So…a whole six years of my life, was a lie?" Pause. "I was a mistake. I wasn't supposed to happen."

"How can you be a mistake?"

"He married her because she was pregnant. He hated me because I was the legitimate child. The one that made their marriage…real."

"You were not a mistake to your mother. You're not a mistake to me."

"But I was to him." Her riding suddenly made sense. It was the only profit she'd brought into his life. "How can there be people like him? How can…I'm part of him. What we said about children, I'm part of him."

"No. You're not part of him. At all. What we said about children was that they were an expression of something we had."

"My mother never had that. She died without that."

"She's a part of you Yuuki, even if your father isn't." Kyoya shifted so that his leg was against the window, between her and the glass. He leant against the wall and pulled her into him. Work didn't matter if she needed him. She would have done the same.

"How am I supposed to react to that sort of revelation?"

There was a long silence. "I'm taking him to court, Yuuki. He's going to keep coming back."

"He thinks he's still part of my life."

"He isn't. I know that hurts you. But it would have hurt more if he was."

"You should do psychology. Not me. I have no idea."

"You have no idea for you. I have no idea for me. You understand people, even if you don't understand yourself."

The girl shifted. "That's just…unfair." Her tone was lighter. "Murphy's law sucks."

Kyoya smiled. "Yes. Yes it really does."

Murphy' Law stated that anything that can go wrong, will. It didn't say in every situation, but it left life open for flexibility. It let one know that things can go wrong, and will. It helped one prepare for that. It let couples know they would fight. It let daughters know that their fathers could be, and would be, jerks. It let house owner's know that TV's and pools don't mix. It let life know that there were bumps in the way; pack some airbags.

"Mm." Yuuki looked up at her husband. "What do you want for our anniversary?" Pause. "One year! Yay." She made a little celebratory noise. Something like a circus tune, but epically failed.

Kyoya laughed. She had learnt to heal quickly. "I want…I'm not going to say you…"

"No. Of course not. That would be cliché." The girl replied in a humored manner.

"I want more time."

"Mm. Me too."

"It's the one thing I can't give you." And that hurt him.

"You can't give the same gift twice anyway."  
"What do you mean?"

"You said eternity." Yuuki smiled at him. "That's all the time there is."

Kyoya kissed the top of her head. "Then you can't give it to me either."

"But I am. Every day." Every hour. Every minute. Every second. Even when they were apart.

"You and Gandhi would have got a long really well."  
"Yes. You and him too. You both like salt."

"That was a terrible joke."

"Sorry."

"No. I laughed."  
"Yes. Somewhere deep down."  
"Very deep down."

Yuuki scowled at him. "Oh. Go back to work."

"Soon. I will."

"Okay."

"I should have been more specific about what I wanted. I want time with you. Not just time. Being with you is different to being together."

"Ah. A two for one deal."

"Yes."

"Okay. I can do that." The phone rang. Caller ID said it was a business number. "It's for you."

Kyoya took the phone and hung up. "No calling after seven."

"New rule?"  
"Yes."

"Can I make one?"  
"Sure."

"No laptops after nine."

Kyoya went to object. Yuuki stopped him. "No. You want time. You're going to have to make it too."

He smiled. "Alright."

"Really?"  
Mr Ootori sighed. "Yes, Mrs Ootori. Really."

Yuuki smiled softly and closed her eyes. He smelled like sandalwood and peppermint. Still Kyoya. Always Kyoya.

-

_Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. _

_(Mahatma Gandhi) _

-

------

_Married life…_

_If you __didn't get the Gandhi salt joke…go study the Salt March and the Satyagraha campaign. (__March 12, 1930. It was the first act of organized opposition to British rule after __Purna Swaraj__, the declaration of independence by the Indian National Congress.) If you think about it, and know about what it meant, it makes sense with the story._

_Expect a plot bunny next chapter. I just wanted to establish the actual married life as opposed to the honeymoon. Like when they used to sit and study in Kyoya's room; establishing normality once again. _

_Sorry this is late. Been busy with Easter Weekend. Hope you enjoyed it though. ^-^ Let me know what you thought. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	29. Chapter 27

-

**Chapter 27**

**-**

Haruhi reached her last trimester. Suki and she kept going to Yuuki's house to discuss babies. Something the Ootori didn't understand and was slightly annoyed at. It was exam season at university.

"Oh my gosh. Go home." Yuuki said, a little humoured. She liked her friends. She needed to work though.  
"No. Make me." Suki sat stubbornly on the couch and held her daughter on her lap. "Aunt Yuuki is being a cow, isn't she?" The one and a half year old spluttered a laugh and waved her feet.

"Oi." The Ootori glared. "Hello big, puffy version of Haruhi." Her friend walked into the room, or waddled. Whatever it is heavily pregnant women do.

"Uhuh." Not happy. Tired. "Oh. Stop moving."

"Baby kicks?" Suki kissed her child's head.

"It's learned Kung-Fu." The woman sat down heavily. "Look." She lifted her shirt a little. There was a sudden bump as the child kicked.

Yuuki stared. There was something alive inside of her friend. "Does that hurt?"

"No. It's a little uncomfortable at times. At first it felt like butterflies."

The Ootori put her hand on her friends belly and felt a little push as the baby moved again.

"Pretty amazing, huh?" Haruhi covered her stomach again. "It's a whole person, but a half Tamaki and a half me."  
"And an incorrect sentence."

"Oh. Go type something."  
"I would it you two weren't here." Pause. "Why do you come here?"

"To show you the joy of children!" Suki exclaimed. "You'll have a kid one day."

"Uhuh."

"You will."

"Uhuh."

The older woman put a hand on her friends shoulder. "One day you will experience..."

"The miracle of life...I know." Yuuki finished. "I don't feel like...inflating. I don't feel like dealing with poo, and vomit and screaming and..."

"You own a horse, darling." Suki pointed out.  
"That's quite different. Zero looks after himself. Horses don't vomit."

"Uhuh." Haruhi put a hand on her stomach. "Well. I have two weeks to go."

"Yay!" Yuuki clapped. "And then you can experience the worst pain known to mankind!"

"Oh. Its not that bad." Suki leant back.

"Really?" The Suoh turned to the woman.

Suki stopped smiling. "I thought I was going to die. But it's all worth it."

"Oh." Yuuki looked at her textbook and kept typing. "Uplifting."

"Well...its the curse of Eve." Haruhi sighed.

"If I ever have kids, I'm getting a C-section. I don't care how controversial it is, or how _unnatural_. I'm doing it."

"If the hospital lets you."  
"My husband owns the hospital." She pointed out.

"Oh..." Haruhi said flatly. "That's convenient." Pause. "What happens if you fall pregnant accidentally? Birth control only works properly if you take it at the same time, every single day. It's also not 100% a preventative."

"I take it every morning when I go riding. If I don't go riding I wake up at that time anyway and take it."

"And if you happen to let that small percentage slip past?"  
"It won't."

"How do you know?"  
"Because...oh my gosh please shut up. Why are we talking about my birth control?" Yuuki said, exasperated.

Suki laughed. "Oh. You're still embarrassed. It's cute."

"Shut up."

"Cute." The baby giggled at her mother's voice.

"Shut up."

"Cute."  
"Okay. Go home. I love you both, but I have to work. If you're going to stay, please...go watch a movie or something, talk in the other lounge, in the kitchen. Whatever. Just...gah. I have to study."

"Alright." Suki stood up and balanced her baby on her hip before helping Haruhi. "Come on puffy. Let's go."

"Stop calling me Puffy." Haruhi said, slightly annoyed.

"Okay." The woman winked. "Not so puffy wants to study."

Yuuki glanced up at them and waved them goodbye as her friends moved into the kitchen. A moment later, Suki's head appeared. She spoke over her friend. "Yes. You can eat whatever you want. Just leave me alone for an hour or two."

"Sweeetttt." The woman was the Peterpan of adults.

The Ootori sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She and Kyoya had decided to have kids. Once she'd finished university and worked for a few years. And that plan could still alter. It had only been made because they'd both decided that they would regret not having children if they didn't. Not because either felt any pressing maternal urges.

Yuuki's phone went off. "What?!"

"_Stressed?"_ A familiar voice said over the line. Slightly distracted.

"Oh. Sorry." The girl put her head in her hand.

"_Let me guess,"_ Kyoya said. She could picture him reading something at the same time. _"...Haruhi is over. She's letting you clutch her belly and feel the baby kick."_

"You forgot that Suki is also here, convincing me of the joy of life. And convincing me that birth control doesn't work."

"_Uhuh." _

"How's your day?" They tried to talk during the work day, if possible. Just like they had when they were dating. Nothing had changed except that Yuuki was now going to university and Kyoya was out of it.

"_Busy."_

"You should get back to it then."

"_Just wanted to tell you I love you."_

"Mm." She smiled. "I love you too."

"_Miss you."_

"Me too. I'll see you tonight."

"_Are you cooking?"_ Kyoya was obviously a little stressed.

"I'm going to try." Their cook had called in sick.

"_Want me to pick something up?"_

"Haha. No. I can do it."

"_Don't burn yourself on the glass-top."  
_"Not without you there."

Amused silence. _"Alright, beautiful. I'll be home at five."_

"Go conquer the administrative world."

His tone was a bit distracted again. _"Been there, done...that."_ He must have been opening a letter.

"Veni, Vidi, Vici"

"_Apparently so."_

"Bye, Kyoya. Love you."

"_You too. Goodbye."_

Click.

Suddenly there was a tiny force banging Yuuki's leg. The girl looked down and saw Suki's daughter. She went to call her friend, hesitated, looked down. Jasmine, or Jazz, was looking up at her with big eyes.

"Um. Hello." Yuuki picked the child up. "...Jazz." She held the girl an arm's length away. "You smell...like boiled peas."

The little girl giggled. Her soft blue beanie slid down over one eye. The Ootori slid it back up again and tried not to drop her. "Throw up on me and I swear I'll probably do the same on you....except you'll probably think that's amusing."

"She probably would." Suki appeared in the doorway. "But it's disgusting that you brought it up."

Yuuki was still holding Jasmine away from herself.

"Relax." Her friend said. She won't do anything.

The girl didn't move. She eyed the child warily.

"Okay." Suki moved behind her and forcer her elbows to bend, bringing the baby close to Yuuki. "Just like that. Put her head on your heart. They say the baby likes that. Jasmine falls asleep like that."

Yuuki looked at the little girl. She fell asleep like that too. Just...with Kyoya. And she wasn't a baby. "I can understand that."

"Babies are just miniatures of us."

"Uhuh." She was watching Jasmine, praying she wouldn't decide to empty either end of herself.

"They have the full capacity of you and I, it's just not developed yet."

"She's wearing a nappy, right?"

Suki sighed. "Yes."

Yuuki was cradling the baby against her chest. It felt very odd. Very, very odd. "This isn't me. But I can see why you like it." She smiled a little and ran her finger down the girl's chubby arm. When she reached the hand, it closed around the tip of her finger tight. "Why is she doing that?"

"It's just something babies do. Like us, they liked to be loved. Only, they don't know about betrayal yet, so their more willing to hang onto it."

"Huh." Yuuki put her tongue in her cheek and looked at Jasmine. The girl was falling asleep. "She's falling asleep. What do I do?"

"Let her."

"I have to..." The Ootori nodded her head at her laptop and the pile of books beside it.

"Oh." Suki lifted her child out of her friends arms. "Alright." Jasmine started awake and went to cry. "Shhh, darling. Shh. Go back to sleep." The woman cooed before turning to Yuuki. "It's not bad. Not like you think. They don't poop and yell all the time. Just like us."

Yuuki watched her friend go. She hesitated a moment and then turned back to her work.

-

Kyoya got home that night and found Yuuki in the kitchen. She'd given up and was sitting on the floor with a phonebook. Looking for take-out.

"What...is that?" He looked at the sink.

"Um." She looked up at him. "It was probably lasagne...or a pizza base. I don't know. One of those two."

"That's..."

"Okay. Shut up."

Kyoya knelt down and sat beside her against the dishwasher. "Hello."

"Hi." She kissed him happily. "What do you feel like?"

"Chinese."  
"Traitor."

He laughed. "If I say Italian, you'll say 'no', right?"

"Right." She'd tried to make Italian.

"Want to go out?"

Yuuki looked at her husband. "Not really."

"Long day?"

"Mmm. Shorter than yours I imagine."

"Mm." Kyoya stared across the room. There were little specks of flour all over the floor.

Yuuki dialled a number and ordered take-out. Half an hour later they were still on the kitchen floor, only with the order. Various white buckets with chopsticks poking out the top were scattered around. "I can't believe you can order Chinese in Japan."

"I was joking when I said it by the way."  
"Really?"  
"Yes." Kyoya smiled. "But I wasn't that hungry anyway."

"Don't be sarcastic when I'm tired. I won't pick it up."

"I know." He kissed the side of her face.

"Want to watch Oklahoma?"

"No." He laughed. "But I will."

"Great." Yuuki clambered to her feet and picked up various take-out buckets and tossed them in the bin. "Actually. Lets watch...nothing."

"What do you want to do?"  
Pause. "Let's talk."

Kyoya dropped the last of the take-out in the bin and ushered her into the lounge. "Alright. About what?"

"Tell me what you did today." She sat down and put her legs over his lap, locking her fingers with his.

"Well..." He let his hand thread through hers, like water. "I spoke to the British Health Ambassador for an hour. They want one of our hospitals there. Our proficiency is desired, as is the ability to handle funds."

"How do you handle the funds?"

Kyoya was surprised she was interested. "We always make a profit."

"Of course." Yuuki smiled.

"Of that profit, we take twenty percent of that and put it into a back-up fund. In case anything collapses. Like a financial crisis. It would pay the wages of all our workers for two years without a pay cut. The next twenty percept goes to the same, but to maintain medical equipment. Forty percent goes into staff and upkeep, pay rises, bonuses, upgrades..." He waved his hand nonchalantly. "The last twenty goes to the executives."

"And then...there are normal expenses like...normal wages, normal upkeep?"  
"Yes. And then there's the need for repairs, new equipment, more doctors...etcetera."

"Sounds...like a lot to handle."

"It is."

"And you do what?"

Kyoya laughed once and pushed his glasses up. "I oversee everything. As the owner. My father does nothing but play golf nowadays."

"Yuck."  
"What?"  
"Golf."

"The gentleman's sport."

Yuuki waved her hand, dismissing it entirely, and then laughed sweetly.

"You know what I do." Kyoya leant his head back on the sofa.  
"Yes. But I like updates."

"Mm. What did you do today?"

"I wrote my essay. Um. Went to a lecture. Drafted my essay. Held a baby."

"Held a baby?"

"Suki's. Jasmine."  
Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"It wasn't...too bad."

"Really?"

"No. Kind of...squishy." Pause. "Babies are...squishy."  
"And smell like boiled peas."

Yuuki tapped her nose at him.

Kyoya smiled. "You're not maternal." It was a statement.

"No." Pause. "Not yet."

"What are you now then?"  
Mrs Ootori smiled and ran a finger over the back of Kyoya's hand. "Just practicing."

Mr Ootori grinned smugly and kissed her.

-

_Girl I got you and I want to give you what you never had  
Girl everyday I hope to make you a part of my life  
Cause you know me and I know you  
Girl your love is where it's at_

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last  
And be the one that got your back  
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together  
And though we both made our mistakes  
And some we never wish we made  
But we'll be okay if we just stay together

Baby you're the one I've waited for  
Because you gave me what I need and more  
Girl its clear that we are meant to be  
Together,  
We should be together  
Eternally

_(Together, Neyo)  
_-

A June baby. Tamaki and Haruhi had a June baby. This gave the new father apt reason to nickname the child 'June-bug'. It was a healthy, young girl with a tuft of dark hair and bright blue eyes. They named her Aimi.

The host club merged into the hospital and surrounded the new mother and father. "She's so little!" Hunny said, climbing up the bed to settle beside Haruhi.

"Yeah..." The girl said. She looked tired. It had been a twenty hour labour. "She's beautiful."

"Like you." Tamaki kissed his wife happily and turned to his daughter. "Hey June-bug? Your mom's beautiful. You're going to be beautiful."

"I hope she doesn't have too many of your genes." The twins said.

"You'll be lucky if anyone buys yours." Kyoya said, referring to twins line of jeans, he was writing in a notebook. Something had caught his eye in the hospital. They needed a better waiting room.

The pair stared.

Mori looked at the sleeping baby. "You are blessed."

Tamaki beamed for Haruhi and himself. "Yes. Yes we are."

Yuuki stood at the head of the bed with her friend. "Tired?"

Haruhi nodded. "Yeah." Pause. "Suki was right."

"About?"  
"I wanted to die. But it's worth it."

"Oh." Yuuki looked at Kyoya. "Uplifting."

"So...birth control still working then?" Tamaki asked roguishly.

The girl raised an eyebrow at him and glared daggers. The blonde flinched but didn't retreat to a corner. Nothing was going to tear him away from his wife and child.

The twins put a hand on either of Kyoya's shoulders and smiled amiably at him. "You know, Kyoya. It would be awful nice if we could give the new family a collection of Hitachiin baby wear. But we need you to unfreeze our stock for that."

The Ootori smiled slightly. Evilly. "No. I think you'll find the Ootori group predicted that need. We had one of each set sent over to their house...with your joy attached." As in, without charge.

The pair's mouths dropped. "Oh come on, Kyoya! Please. Just...we're sorry, okay?"

The man turned to them. "No more shenanigans. Especially involving my wife?"

"No more." The held their hands up. Scouts honour. "Promise."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and made a phone call. The twins breathed again. Haruhi laughed, woke Aimi, who promptly started screaming. Everyone disappeared from the suit, except Tamaki. He stayed loyal to the end.

Hunny climbed up Yuuki as they walked through the hospital. "Soooo.....Yuu-chan?"

"Yes?"

"When are you and Kyo-chan going to have a baby?"

"Not any time soon."  
"Will you have a baby?"

"Yes."  
"When?"  
"Not any time soon."

"Why?"

"Because. I want to study and ride. And he wants to work. We'll live a little before having a child."

Kyoya walked beside her, one hand in his pocket, the other holding his notebook, a coy smile on his face. "We're just practicing at the moment."

"What does that even mean?" Twin one asked.

"Whatever you want it to." Came the smug reply.

Twin two grinned haughtily and nudged his brother. Mori told Honey that it meant they were spending time with other people's kids.

-

Three months later, Aimi was a smiling, happy, pudgy little baby. She was so full of joy. Her blue eyes never faded to brown, her French genes, and her hair was beginning to wave like her fathers. The little girl was beginning to take on Haruhi's face shape though. Thanks to Suki, Aimi had an automatic best friend in the form of Jasmine. Although the younger couldn't even sit up, the older didn't seem to mind and happily played with blocks beside her, as if waiting for her to grow up enough to play with her. Kira's daughter, Hana, played happily with Jasmine. She was the middle baby and wanted all the attention.

Yuuki sat with her friends and watched them play with their children. Haruhi had quickly regained her pre-baby body. She was young enough for that to happen without too much trouble. Apparently, it wasn't as hard as people said it was. Although, the first week was rather hard on one's self esteem. The baby bump turned into a baby jelly belly, as the Suoh put it. Tamaki hadn't seemed to mind though.

"Did it hurt after?" Yuuki asked, leaning against a couch, keeping her distance.

"Yeah. I a bit." Haruhi stopped Jasmine from waving a Lego piece into Aimi. "Like bad period pain."

"Oh. Joy." The Ootori took a sip of her tea. The weather was dropping again.

"It's nothing like miscarriage pain." Suki sat back, taking her daughter with her into her lap.

"You miscarried?" Yuuki asked.

"No. My mother did. She told me in case I had trouble conceiving like she did. Said it was like a minor labour, six hours long."

"Six hours?"

"Yeah. Well, you have contractions. It only hurts after the third month though. That's when the baby has graduated from foetus into embryo. After six hours, it's all over. Or, it was for her."

"Uhuh." Yuuki wasn't really interested. Their husbands were all outside, barbequing. Or, trying to barbeque. Tamaki kept burning things. Suki's husband kept saving them. Kyoya just sat back and watched, doing the background work of absolutely nothing. Mako and Kira had gone to the supermarket to pick up a salad, seeing as everyone else had forgotten to make one. Yuuki had six months left of university; the dean had put her into an accelerated course. She was topping everything. Thanks to her husband's help. Kyoya drafted everything. Read everything. Helped with everything. And she loved him for it.

Aimi bumped her head as she tried to lift her chest while on lying her tummy. She stared at the world, horrified that it had offended her. Haruhi scooped the baby up as she started to cry. "Oh. Baby. Don't use your head for that sort of thing. Shhh...."

Tamaki was like a Labrador. He appeared whenever someone close to him needed a loyal fan. "What happened?"

"She hit her head. Not coordinated enough yet."

"Aw..." The blonde took his daughter and held her. "Ah. You should use your head for thinking. I will never let you go head-banging so don't start." He laughed quietly. Aimi seemed to calm as her father's chest vibrated. Haruhi smiled at them. Tamaki looked at the baby. "Don't cry. The world cries when you cry. The world wants you to smile. You are its princess. So smile little princess."

Aimi quieted. Made a short noise and then giggled messily.

Yuuki watched. Kyoya would make a great father. He would scare the hell out of every single person that tried to mess with his kid. He knew how to teach a lesson, a lasting lesson. He knew how to handle people. He would be able to discipline and still let the kid know it was loved.

"Clucky?" His voice appeared around her.

Yuuki looked up, he was standing beside her. "Hmmm...not really."

"But not no." He pointed out.

"I can see the appeal." She stood up and held him.

"You have six months of university left." He kissed the top of her head.

"You smell like smoke."  
Kyoya smiled. "I stood in the wrong place."

"Mm. I can tell. I don't want to be one of those women who has kids and then...that's it."  
"You won't be. We can afford a lifestyle where you can work or not work at your leisure."

Yuuki sighed. "I also don't want to juggle you and a kid. I like spending time with just you."

"Again. We can afford to do that. Just us. Even with a kid."

"You want one, don't you?"  
"No." He laughed lowly. "Not yet. We've discussed this."

Yuuki smiled. "Yeah. I know."  
"Yes." He corrected.

She pinched him.

-

Just the two of us we can make it if we try  
Just the two of us just the two of us  
Just the two of us building castles in the sky  
Just the two of us you and I

(Just the two of us, Will Smith)

-

Kyoya woke up, fully, late one Saturday morning to find Yuuki still fast asleep. He was rarely awake before her. Actually, she always woke up first. Always. She just crawled back into bed and lay beside him every morning. Wanting to let him wake up with her, not just she with him.

His wife was lying almost on her side, facing away from him. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her body against him. Her hair pooled in the curve of his neck, his chin resting above her head.

Kyoya disentangled one hand from between her fingers and used to brush the dark strands off her face. She was such an angel when she slept. She was when she was awake too; Yuuki just looked more relaxed when she was. With him. The girl turned over in her sleep and mumbled something. She ended up with her forehead pressed against his throat. Kyoya smiled.

Yuuki woke up and noticed how bright it was outside. "What time is it?" She sounded very sleepy.

"Ten twelve." Very accurate of him. If the clock had given seconds he would have added that too.

"What?" She rubbed her eye.

"Twelve past ten." His voice was rough. Still unaccustomed to mornings, it was late enough to avoid a bad mood though. "You slept in. Congratulations."  
"Zero's still in his stall..."  
"You left the back door open; he can get into the paddock. Tachi said to give him the day off today, you've been riding him hard since he got well."

"Oh. Right. I forgot." She closed her eyes again.

"Mmmm." Kyoya ran his fingers down her spine and back up again. "Tired?"  
"Uhuh." Yuuki yawned, covered her mouth and then rested her hand on the side of his neck.

"You're on holidays now."  
"Yay..." She said sleepily. The university gave the students a week off.

"You know what next week is?"  
"Two years. Yay." Two year anniversary. No wonder it was chilly outside. September was turning the leaves gold. Yuuki nuzzled into Kyoya affectionately.

"We're going away to where?" He quizzed.

"Vienna. Double yay." She smiled and breathed into him.

"And what will we see?"  
"Closing night before the dancing horses go away for the winter. Triple yay." She kissed his throat.

"Whose clothes will you wear?"

Silence. His were nicer in the cold. "The ones I bought?"  
Kyoya growled. Still not a morning person.

"Okay. Mine. Whatever." She said. Save.

"Good girl."  
"What's your problem with my wearing your shirts?"  
"And jerseys, skivvies...."  
"Tops."

"Well. Their mine."  
"So?"

"Okay. I don't actually have a problem with it."  
"Didn't think so." Came the dozy reply. "I like your socks too."  
Kyoya smiled. "Alright."

"Five more minutes?"  
"More than five."  
Yuuki laughed quietly and stretched her feet down. Her husband tangled his legs with hers and held her closer, closing his eyes contentedly. Their world had found time to force itself into a dominant existence within reality. They'd made the time for it. It was like being on honeymoon if Yuuki had let Kyoya take his laptop and he'd let her take piles of books. And that was exactly what they'd wanted when they walked into their marriage. It was exactly what they wanted to work for.

Over a period of six months, every Saturday morning became 'sleep in' morning. It was a very deep, personal time for the couple. One they had set aside for each other. More often than not, Saturday morning would turn into Saturday day. In the evening they met with the Host Club for dinner at one of each other's houses. Tamaki liked to have it at his, Aimi was his new pride and joy. He was an amazingly bright, joyous father. Just the sort ever princess dreams of having. And Aimi was his princess, Haruhi got promoted to queen and was doted on even more than usual. It was an odd, incredibly loving family.

When Yuuki finished university, she volunteered at a youth house and worked with adolescents. She knew trouble and could deal with it. She helped them and loved it. She loved it so much, her husband funded the volunteers with 'bonuses' and bought each teenager a laptop so that they could write their own future. When he had a meeting in Paris or London or Washington, his wife would come. She never got left at home, not because she wanted to come; but because he wanted her at his side. If a man is the head of a household, a woman is its neck. She helps guide his vision. Every so often they would fight. Yuuki had her first successful one with one foot in the bathroom, her arm caught between Kyoya's fingers. Now they could discuss things properly, and actually reach an end with them. It was easier when both of them were present. Surprisingly.

The Ootori seniors seemed to accept that their son was happy. They invited the couple to their house for dinner and didn't attack the wife. Kyoya tried to teach Yuuki to drive. He failed. She broke the clutch of a brand Mercedes. It seemed that everyone had something they just _couldn't _do, driving was Yuuki's. Kyoya had yet to find his ,his wife wondered if he ever would. Their existence was less than perfect, but it was for them, through its flaws. Equilibrium had been reached.

-

_So many nights, legs tangled tight  
Wrap me up in a dream with you_

_Follow me there  
A beautiful somewhere  
A place that we can share_

_(One year six months, Yellow card)_

_-_

There were a few...odd moments though. As was expected. For example. When Kyoya returned home from work he headed to the bedroom to put his shoes away. Perfectionist. The bathroom door was slightly ajar. Yuuki hadn't come to say hello, so he assumed she was in there.

The man went to find her and stepped into the bathroom. "Yuuki?"

_FSSHHHH ._Something hissed under his foot. A wet sort of hiss. Like a lot of soggy popping. He looked down and found himself standing on a thin layer of bubbles. As one got deeper into the bathroom, the layer of bubbles got thicker. The spilled heavily from the bath. Yuuki's hair was flecked with the white substance, there was so much that some had even caught her eyelashes and eyebrows. She smiled guiltily at her husband's shocked face.

"I...used too much?" She shrugged in defence.

"How much is too much?"

"I...uh...might, maybe, just could have, dropped the bottle and then everything went WOOSH and I couldn't find it again."

"Which bottle?"  
"The...um...big one."

Kyoya raised his eyebrows. "The two litre one?"

"Maybe."Long, expectant pause. She'd bought it from one of those stores that stock bulk products, thinking it would last longer than one bath. Apparently not.

"Yuuki. Dear. Improve your coordination."

"Well...yeah. Probably."  
"You're cleaning this up."

She scowled at him. "Don't ruin the moment. It's every girl's dream in here."

"It smells like Hunny in winter." After he'd eaten all the marshmallows and then had a bath.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

There was a long silence as Kyoya looked around the room. "Holy crap, Yuuki."

"Amazing, right?"

"You're buying the next bottle."

"Stop crushing my mojo."

"Your mojo needs a little crushing if this is what it does." He didn't like mess.

"Well..." She was a little annoyed. "Your toothbrush probably tastes like soap now."

Kyoya raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh. Yum."

"I know. Mine too." She pouted.

He was mad. But not that mad. More amused. "You clean it up. You buy the next one."

"Okay. I know. I know." Yuuki smiled at him suddenly. "Have a good day?" Save.

Kyoya laughed softly. "Yes. I had a good day." He shook his head at her.

Yuuki blew a fistful of bubble bath at him. "You don't have to stand at the door. There's enough in here for two."

"Or a hundred."

Silence. The woman looked at the bathroom. "...Probably more than that."

"It's quite the possibility."  
"Quite."

Bubbles for two would do. Especially since neither of them drank bubbly, they had to compensate in some way. Or...that was the excuse.

-

Aimi learnt to walk on her first birthday. Tamaki had decided to throw a huge party. There was even a rollercoaster. Yuuki sat on the porch steps with Haruhi, Suki, Kira, their respective children and the birthday girl.

"Happy birthday!" The Ootori said happily as the child crawled towards her. "I like your pants." Yuuki tugged the hem of the girl's pant leg. They were bright yellow with hot pink silk detailing.

"Tamaki." Haruhi said. Everyone nodded. Of course he would have chosen such ostentatious clothing. His wife had obviously intervened and only let him put a plain white shirt on the baby. He had obviously put the yellow ribbon in her short, wavy hair though.

"She's adorable." Yuuki smiled at Aimi as she turned around and sat, staring at the woman with wide eyes. "Her eyes are so blue. It's amazing."

"I know." Haruhi pressed her finger to her daughter's nose. "Just like Tamaki's mother." They'd gone to meet her in France, his grandmother had finally consented.

The Ootori paused. She hoped that none of her father's traits carried through when she eventually got round to reproducing. "Hey Aimi. Come here." Yuuki held her hands out to the girl.

A set of short fingers clasped her thumbs. The baby's expression became concentrated as she pulled up to her feet. Haruhi smiled, the child had been experimenting with gravity lately. Suki paused her conversation with Kira. "Oi. Darling." She addressed the Suoh. "Start recording with the video camera."  
"What...why?" Haruhi paused. "Oh. She's going to walk? Oh. She is. Hold on."

Yuuki stared at the commotion. Aimi was just standing there, holding her thumbs. "Oh. No. Don't walk for me. Walk to your mom."

Tamaki quite suddenly appeared and acted like he was on a game farm watching lions. He told everyone to shhh and very quickly turned the camera on. "Okay. Yuuki. Don't do anything."

"I don't want to do anything. This isn't my baby."

Kyoya was watching from behind the blonde. His arms crossed casually.

Haruhi clapped at her daughter. "Aimi. Walk for mommy."

"And daddy." Her father chimed in.

Yuuki watched the baby's eyes turn from her parents and then to her feet. An expression of surprise on her young face. Very slowly she stretched one foot forward and put it on the ground, tugging down on her guide's fingers for balance. Like a breathing walking frame. Aimi put her weight through the first foot and steadied herself before putting the other forward. She giggled brightly. Yuuki couldn't help but smile. When she looked at her husband, he was smiling too.

"Congratulations baby." She said quietly.

Aimi lost her balance and started to fall sideways. Her father intervened and scooped her up into his arms and kissed her cheek merrily. "Yay! Well done my little June-bug!" He blew a raspberry where he'd kissed her moments before. "Ah. You're walking. Well done princess!" The baby smiled and clapped her hands clumsily, a pile of sparkling giggles escaping from her all the while.

A copious amount of people surrounded Tamaki and Haruhi, all cheering their little girl. Yuuki sat on the stairs and looked at where the baby had been standing. She ran her fingers over her thumb.  
"You want one?" Kyoya sat beside her and pushed his glasses up. "We can import. From Africa."

Yuuki laughed. "Not from Africa." Her work could be put on hold. It was the sort she could do from afar. "But yes. I want one."

"You sure?" Pause. "We're not doing an I-the-walking-moment decision."

"No. I've been thinking about it. We said we wanted to live a bit. I still don't want to share you, not yet. But it takes a lot to conceive. There's only a two day window it can happen in, and even then, it's still pretty hard."

"And yet, unwanted pregnancy is so high." Pause. "I don't want to share you either. But I want something that we can share."

"Do you want one?"  
Kyoya put his arm around her shoulders. "A whole being that is a product of me and you? Yes. I want one."

"Yes." She put her arm around his torso. "Me too." It was the perfect time. They were happy. Life was good. It was time to put their two worlds, their combined reality, together in a way that was real to the rest of the world, not just to them. That's what a child would be to them. It would be them. Just like the wedding night had been, it was not about making a baby, it was about making love. Making something that described the indescribable and made one being out of two people. Living a miracle. Living life. Living them.

-

_There ain't no mistaken  
It's true love we're making  
Something to last for all time  
It's never changing  
Can't you hear me I'm saying  
I want you for the rest of my life_

Together forever and never to part  
Together forever we two  
And don't you know  
I would move heaven and earth  
To be together forever with you

_(Together Forever, Rick Astley)_

-

For five months, nothing happened. The pair weren't trying as others would have been, they just knew what they wanted and were alright if nothing happened for the time being. No one would know until the baby bump began to show, maybe even at the four month pregnant mark. It would be their secret until then. When that happened, neither knew. Neither was overly concerned.

The sixth month passed.

And the seventh.

Still nothing.

Eight.

They went to see an obstetrician. He told them that nothing was wrong with either of them. They were both perfect for conception, sometimes it just took a while.

Nine months.

Twelve meant that the couple was infertile. That was the rule of thumb.

It didn't bother them entirely. Of course, it was a little annoying. But they were content still. Their lives were happy. There was so much joy between them. They'd found a pattern and a lot of days they forgot they were trying to get pregnant and left it to chance.

Ten months.

Yuuki felt a little concerned. She wondered if something was wrong with her. It wasn't like they were missing any days, it just wasn't happening. Many women conceive in the sense that gametes fuse, but many women miscarry without knowing they were pregnant to begin with because the egg didn't implant in the endometrial. Yuuki wondered if she'd miscarried. If something was damaged physically inside her. Kyoya could help her with every other damage, but this one was hers. The obstetrician wouldn't have looked for defects at the eight month mark.

"Kyoya?" The girl sat at her piano. Her husband had taken up painting again and the smell filled the room.

"Mm?"

"What if there's something wrong with me?"  
He paused. "What do you mean?"

"Like...inside." She stared at him. "When my mother died, I was so young that I thought a fallopian tube was a slide and the water park. It's not like...I know these things. What if there's always been something wrong with me and I never knew because I didn't have anyone to tell me?"  
Kyoya looked at her. "I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Your mother had no problem having children." She hadn't even tried. It had just happened. They wanted children and they were going to try and let it happen naturally, without the timing and loss of intimacy due to the act becoming 'deed and duty' as opposed to love and respect.  
"I don't even know if I was wanted. I don't know. No one ever talked to me about it." She crossed the room and stood beside him. He was painting a chrysanthemum.

"Yuuki. Getting pregnant isn't our life. It's not our goal. Of course we want a baby. Yes. But we have time." A child would have been something they wanted, but it's not like they had been counting the days to the most fertile period. They just loved each other like normal, only without the pharmaceuticals.

"I know. But..."

"Do you really, really, really, really, want a baby?"

"Yes. But...if it doesn't happen now, I don't mind."

"Then why are you worried?"

"Because, I'm not taking anything to prevent us getting pregnant, you're perfectly healthy...and...it just feels like something should have happened."

Kyoya smiled. "We can try harder if you'd like?"  
Yuuki leant her shoulder into him and looked at the painting. "I think I'm just worrying unnecessarily."

Her husband kissed her head. "I think you are too. A baby would be great. But things are wonderful as they are. Don't rush it. You know I don't do anything unless I've thought about it. This method, for us, is perfect."

"Yes. You're probably right. As always." She picked up a brush and dipped it in the red paint tub. Kyoya thought she was going to put it where he'd missed a bit, she did. His face. A giant blob dripped onto his collar.

He scowled and wiped his cheek. "Keep it on the canvas, off the floor. Off me."

"Preferably." She held the brush casually.

"Preferably." He had a bigger brush. Soon Yuuki had a line of purple down the side of her face. She wiped it off with the shirt she was wearing. His shirt.

"Hey. That's..."

"I know."

Kyoya thinned his eyes. "It doesn't come off fabric and you just got it on two shirts."

"Well...the shirt is now retired then."

He growled and pushed his glasses up.

"Alright. Whatever. I'll put it in cold water and use bleach." Yuuki unbuttoned the shirt. "Gee." She headed for the laundry. "If you want that one done, bring it."

Kyoya leant his weight through one leg and put a hand on his hip, watching her go. He decided that he did want his shirt in the laundry with hers. In the end, neither actually made it into a cold bucket of water and the paint stains remained until Yuuki actually remembered what she'd been doing with the shirts in the first place.

-

_You changed my whole life  
Don't know what you're doing to me with your love  
I'm feeling all super human, you did this to me  
A super human heart beats in me  
Nothing can stop me here with you  
Super human  
Super human  
Strong  
Since I've been flying and writing the wrongs  
Feels almost like I've had it all along  
I can see tomorrow  
(Superhuman, Chris Brown)_

_-_

Kyoya arrived home to a silent house. Yuuki had said she was going out sometime, she'd spent the morning at the youth house and they needed groceries. She liked to go grocery shopping, probably one of the few people who did. They were going out later, she would be home soon.

The Ootori put the mail on the main living room table and put his briefcase down in the study. When he returned to the lounge, a dark haired being was watching him from the void balcony above.

"Kyoya?" Yuuki said softly.

He turned and looked up, smiling when he saw her. "I didn't know you were home." She always came to greet him. Except for when she was sick. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm fine. How was your day?"

"It was fine." He headed for the stairs. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Yuuki disappeared to through the bedroom.

"Mm. Really?" Kyoya replied sarcastically.

"Really." Her voice carried from the bathroom.

"Yuuki. You come with a smile every day and today you stand at the balcony and ask if it's me."

"I have butterflies." Meaning she was unnerved about something.

"Why?" He stepped into the room and found her leaning on the sink.

His wife held up a little white stick. In the middle was a plus sign. "Probably because there's actually something in there." Pause. "Kyoya, we're pregnant." _We. _Not her. Them. It was them.

The man stared at the pregnancy test, then at Yuuki and then at her torso.

Yuuki bit her lip. "I didn't just do the at home test. I went to the doctor today. He said that thunderbirds are go...so it's not just a misreading or anything." She was suddenly very scared. There was something growing inside of her. Something that was both herself and the man she loved. The describable they created was completely indescribable. "We're going to have a baby."

Kyoya crossed the room in two steps and pulled her against him. "We're going to have a baby?" He said happily. It didn't seem real. Of course they wanted one, but to actually get it...They were going to get them. The whole story of them in a little bundle of life.

Yuuki nodded as her husband stared at her belly.

"It's in there?" He asked. It was a stupid question to everyone else. But to the pregnant couple, having something inside of one of them, having them inside the woman, was a miracle.

Yuuki laughed quietly. "Yes. In there."

Kyoya slid his hands under her shirt and ran them across the skin of her belly. It was smooth and flat and warm. She was healthy and slight, there was no bump, there wouldn't be for another month and a half at least. "What does it feel like?" He'd never been in awe at anything, but the fact that there was his life, her life, within his wife...it didn't seem like it should be possible.  
"Nothing at the moment." There was a long silence. "Kyoya?" Her voice was small. It had been since she'd called his name from the balcony.

"Yes?"  
"I'm frightened."

He looked at her face. "Why?"

"I'm carrying a little life. It had blood vessels and fingers and toes. I mean...what if....Aimi has Tamaki's mother's eyes, what if..."

"Your father has nothing to do with this baby."  
"What if I'm a bad mom? What if it yells at night? What if we fight because of it? What..."

He kissed her. Hard. Deep. "Yuuki. Nothing is going to go wrong." They had created and been blessed.

"Are...you okay with this?"

"Of course. We said we wanted a baby. Now we're going to have one."

Yuuki breathed. "Oh my gosh. We're pregnant."

"Are you alright?"  
"Yeah...yes." She smiled. "Oh my gosh, we're pregnant." She found the joy that she'd wanted from the event. It didn't matter that she would inflate, it didn't matter if it had her father's nose, it didn't matter. Everything it was, was them.

Kyoya ran a hand behind her back and pulled her close to him. He kissed her neck. "Don't be scared. I've got you."

"I would rather die than have it any other way." Yuuki held him. "It's just...so unreal." She looked down at where his hand rested on her torso. "I mean...you and I are in there. In me. Growing. Like...I don't know. It's just..." She shook her head and tried to comprehend it. "...incredible."

"Mm." The Ootori ran his nose along her jaw. Soon the speeches at the wedding will become something more than just words and something they already knew. It was going to be as much a part of this world as the very thing they lived. It was no longer 'just them', that was not the explanation anymore. It was just them, but expressed in another way. A branch of their life. A perfect, whole part; one half of her and one of him – with a tiny heartbeat. Like a butterfly.

Yuuki tried to steady her heartbeat, but it was racing. She was scared. She was in awe. She was happy. The wife of Kyoya Ootori was pregnant. A little secret was growing inside of her.

An hour later she was dressed to go out. There was a function at one of the hospitals, they were expected to go. Her dress was white with a scalloped v-neck. It ended just below her knees and tied around her waist with a deep blue band. Kyoya watched her pull her hair into a bun. She was still Yuuki, right down to a tee. But something was a little different. The girl held herself differently, as if she had won a prize, and she couldn't stop smiling. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

She turned and looked at him. "What?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Nothing."

Yuuki watched her husband do his tie up. He was incredibly reserved, his party face. But she could tell, he was overjoyed. They both knew what being pregnant meant, to them it was more than just having a child. It was expressing something poignant and captivating. The other, but in a smaller body. The party that night went past in a blur, it didn't make much sense.

There would always be him, there would always be her. Two individual beings. They would always have their own world, their own lives, but they would live in a world of their own. A world within reality. One that had been tried and tested and found good and lasting. Now, it made a lot more sense. Him. Her. Together. Two halves had created the same whole. They had created life. Their lives moulded into something they only experienced when making love. Becoming one person. One soul. Coming alive as something new and entire, but that is completely a result of something amazing that already existed.

_-_

_A grand adventure is about to begin.  
(Winnie the Pooh)_

_-_

_-------_

_Preggers. _

_^-^_

_I always planned for Yuuki to get pregnant, even if the idea scares me half to the moon. I have a plan for this plot though. A big plan. This story will end with thirty (or just over) chapters. Don't think a baby is the end though._

_Yes, I do suck with bubble bath. Thank you for wondering. -_-'_

_Anyway. Tell me what you thought. I really hope you enjoyed it. I don't like writing fluff, but it's kind of hard not to when you're trying to get your characters to conceive. *shudder* :)_

_I might not be able to post for a day or two; I'm a little busy at the moment with the Easter Long Weekend and other plans. I hope that's not a problem. I will try though._

_Hope you all had an amazing Easter! _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	30. Chapter 28

-

**Chapter 28**

**-**

_For God did give sunshine and rain. He did not promise one, but both. _

_(Unknown)_

_-_

Yuuki sat on the couch in the lounge and stared at the droplets of water that continually smashed against the windowpane. She could see the stable through the mist, but only a vague outline. The fire was going, heating the whole house. It was not the right season for fire, but it was the right weather. She was three months pregnant.

There was no bump. Not yet. But the butterflies had begun. For real. Little stirrings deep inside. Fluttering. A life so small and fragile that it had to move itself in the deep to cause ripples on the surface. Just like them.

Kyoya was walking around the house, looking at papers, talking on the phone. Something had happened in Paris. The administrator overlooking the Ootori group hospital being built there was doing a screw-ball job. Mr Ootori was not happy. At all. His father had very recently decided to retire. He knew when his reign had ended and when his power had been transferred. Ootori senior had long been under the rule of his son and the time had come to admit the fact and go play a leisurely game of golf. Nothing changed for Kyoya. He knew that it was coming. He knew that his job would not alter in the least when he took on a different title. He already worked his ownership long before he got there. Now he was the head of the Ootori group, but nothing had changed. His life had not changed. Saturdays were still dedicated to his wife and friends, time was short but given out to the places he loved it to be in.

"No. No. No. You can't do that. If you do that I will withdraw the funding of the hospital. Yes, I'm being very serious. No. Of course I can do that; I can do anything to your building plans because they are, in all reality, my building plans. That hospital is my hospital and your workers are all being paid by me. Understand? No. It has been brought to my attention that your overseer is less than useless." Kyoya leant on the doorframe and pinched his nose. Yuuki watched him with a curious expression on her face. She liked knowing the other half of the conversation and was trying to guess what the person on the end of the line was saying. She also didn't speak French and that limited her knowledge immensely. "Just do what I've told you or there will be no hospital. Have a nice day." Click.

Yuuki uncrossed her legs. "What happened?"

"Perfectly useless bunch." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Taking short cuts."

"Ah." Pause. "You should go."

"Where?"  
"To Paris. You oversee everything, basically. All your work here can be controlled by those under you, which is everyone, and you won't be so stressed because you're so far away from your principle business aim for this month." She wrapped her arms around his torso as he collapsed on the couch beside her.

Kyoya let his head fall back against the back of the couch and sighed. "No. I can't leave you here."

"Kyoya. I'm only three months. I can travel."

"You're only three months, meaning the baby is in its most dangerous stage of development. If you get sick or stressed then it could be very bad."

"Yes. I know. But I'm not going to get sick or stressed. I still ride."  
"Which I'm not happy with."

"So you say. Every morning." Yuuki smiled. "I'm not going to fall off."

"That's what you said last year and you spent an afternoon in hospital with concussion."

"Hm...yes. I thought you'd remember."

Kyoya let his thumb slide over the place where she had small scar on the back of her shoulder. "I won't let you travel right now. As you said, you still ride. It's too dangerous."

"Coming from you."

Her husband smiled slightly and looked at her. "How is it?"

Yuuki put a hand on her stomach. "Like a hummingbird. Won't stop moving."

Kyoya put his hand over hers. "What does that feel like?"  
"Like butterflies in your stomach, only you're not nervous." She moved her hand so he could feel. She didn't know if he could when the baby was so small, but she could feel it. "You feel it?"  
There was a long pause. "It just moved."  
"Mm." He had a medical degree and doctors say that when a baby moves at such a young age it should feel like digestion. That's probably what it felt. "That's not lunch. That's baby." Pause. "What do you want to call it?"

"You want to name it already?"  
"Well...girls like to talk about baby names long before their pregnant."

"What names did you talk about?  
"I always liked Elizabeth for a girl. But it's very English. Kain for a boy though."

"Hm. I don't think Elizabeth would go down well in a Japanese school."  
"No. My thoughts exactly. What about Sayuri?"

There was a long pause. He liked to think about things. Every thing. Even when he had six months to do so. "I like that."

"Really?"

"Yes." He smiled and kissed her temple. "I really like that."

"We have six months to decide."

"Yes, we do."

"And you have your whole trip to Paris to think about it." Yuuki stared at him. "You should go. You're needed there. You love your work."  
"I love you."  
"Yes. And you can't separate yourself from me, ever. I won't be alone just because you're away for a week."

There was another long pause. He actually did need to go. "If I go, what will you do?"

"If you want me to, I'll sit in solitary confinement."

"And sneak out every morning to go riding."

Yuuki smiled guiltily. "Yes..." Pause. "But I don't want to hold you back. I never looked for traits in you that didn't exist. You don't have one that sits around and waits for nine months. You should go."

Kyoya sighed. "Alright. But Suki, Mako and Haruhi will all be over for dinner."  
"Every day for a week? Wow, that's not suspect or anything."

"They'll find out soon enough."

"No. I'll be at Suki's for dinner not tomorrow but the next night. So...I'll be fine. I see Tachi every morning. No doubt Haruhi will come over, or I'll go there." She kissed Kyoya gently. "I'll be fine."

"This is like arguing with a teenager when we want to go away and they just want the house."  
"Good practice." Yuuki smiled.

Kyoya smiled with her and kissed her deeply. His wife happily kissed him back. The baby fluttered.

-

_It's good to be in love  
It really does suit you  
Just like everything  
I'm happy your in love  
'Cause every color goes where you do_

_(Its really good to be in love with you, Frou Frou)_

_-_

The airport was one of Yuuki's favourite places. It smelt like new and familiar places. It reminded her of their trip to Venice to see the dancing horses. Which is basically all they saw of the city during the days they were there. That's the thing about being in love, beautiful places are hardly as beautiful as the person your with. Yuuki stood beside her husband, close to him, her hand inside his. It fit so well. He'd let her sit in the luggage trolley, even though she didn't have any luggage and he only took carry-on. The woman at the counter recognised them and said sorry that she couldn't upgrade as he was already flying first class.

"You should just do what all other filthy rich men do and buy yourself a jet." Yuuki said, annoyed at being gushed over again.

"I have a jet."

Silence. "What?" Pause. "Why the hell don't we fly on it?"  
"Its auspicious to have a public face."

"But...but....jet..."

"But, but, my dad uses it."

Pause. "Okay. I don't want to fly in it."

"Yes. I didn't think so." Kyoya laughed and led his wife to a little airport cafe. His flight left in an hour. "You'll be alright?"  
Yuuki rolled her eyes at him. "Yes. I'm going to be fine. You've gone away for business without me before."  
"That was because you were at a Grand Prix."

"Mmm." Pause. "You left the black sweater at home, right?"

Kyoya stared. "You're so shallow."

She laughed. "No I'm not."  
"Yes, yes you are."

"I just like that sweater."

"I know."

"So...you left it at home?"

"Hm." Kyoya looked over the rim of his cup at her. Yuuki was leaning across the table, glaring at him. She could never do it right when she wasn't actually mad, her lips turned up at the corners. She just really wanted his shirt. Mrs Ootori crossed her arms and glowered at his evasive answer. Either she wouldn't find it or he had taken it. Her husband laughed.

The last time he went away without her, he had taken the sweater. He'd worn it when he'd arrived home. Yuuki had missed him enough not to notice but somehow ended up in it a few hours later, claiming she'd found it on the floor. Which she had, but the principle of the matter had been completely lost on her.

The couple spent the next hour talking. Just talking. It was the sort of conversation that, when asked what it was about, you couldn't rightly remember; you just knew it was a good conversation. The call for Kyoya's flight came over the speaker system, accompanied by the annoying airport tune that's supposed to get everyone's attention but just makes them want to ignore what the announcer has to say.

_Flight one three eleven to Paris boarding. Boarding call for flight one three eleven to Paris._

If Tamaki was a Labrador, Kyoya was a Doberman. Big, dark, scary, mysterious; but really a loyal, bold and affectionate companion deep down. Thinkers. Sleek and smart. But with the ability to threaten without actually having to say anything. Everyone knew where they stood.

Yuuki followed her husband to the gate and held him for a long time before they actually said goodbye.

"What time do you get back?"

"I'll get a cab. You shouldn't come out."

"I want to come out."

Kyoya smiled. "I'll call you."

"Okay."

"It's only a week."

"I know. I might have a bump by the end." She grinned at him.

The man squeezed her hand and headed for the terminal that took passengers down to their boarding gate. He got about ten steps when he realised what a week could mean for a pregnant woman. How much the baby would develop, especially in the first trimester. It would have a complete nervous system and fingernails. So technically, it would be able to feel. It would have a heartbeat which meant that it had the sign most people looked for when proving life. Kyoya turned around and looked at Yuuki. She was wearing a cream blouse and a black high waisted skirt. She was waiting for him. The man retraced his ten steps and kissed her. Other passengers smiled to themselves as they passed by, but they couldn't look at them properly. It was too personal. There was too much going on between the pair, to much that had happened, for them to completely understand the depths of every little interaction.

Everywhere she went when she he was away, she would take half of him. A perfect half that fit exactly with her half. In the same way they fit. "Okay. You're going to be late." Yuuki pulled away from him. "It's only a week, right?" She said smugly. "An Ootori, held back by a woman."

Kyoya tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Unheard of. I'm never late, everyone else is just early."  
"Who's cutting corners now?" Yuuki laughed. "Go. I'll be fine."

Even as she said the words, she couldn't make them a promise. After all, it had been raining in the outside world, defied by their own. As London had proved to them, their own world could be broken by events beyond their control.

There was a tingling in her stomach. It was like the baby was trying to tell her something. Trying to comfort her, letting her know that her husband was still half with her. "Yes baby. I know you're there. I love that you're there." She smiled. She loved her baby, it was hard not to. It was inside of her. A miracle. A little life deep inside of her, like a secret formed by hands unknown. The materials were perfect. She knew because she had experienced them. How could she not love something that was so special and unique?

-

_Sing to me the song of the stars_

_Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again_

_When it feels like my dreams are so far_

_Sng to me of the plans that you have for me over again_

_I give you my destiny_

_I'm giving you all of me_

_I want your symphony_

_singing in all that I am_

_at the top of my lungs_

_I'm giving it back_

_(Only Hope, Mandy Moore)_

-

Haruhi was very happy to bring Aimi over. Yuuki had become rather attached to the baby and her bright blue eyes.

"When are you going to get your own?" Her friend asked, laughing as the Ootori picked her daughter up and tickled her. The child giggled and closed her tiny hands around the ends of Yuuki's hair.

"Soon enough." Came the reply.

"What does that mean?"  
"As in, soon enough." Yuuki put Aimi down and let her run behind an ottoman. "I'm starting to like kids."  
"Your starting to like other peoples kids."

"So?"  
"So, no one likes other peoples kids unless their expecting their own."  
"I've always liked your kid."  
"Except when she screamed. Threw up on you..."  
"Oh. That goes without saying."  
Haruhi laughed. "You'd like being a mom. I thought it would be boring, like sitting around the house all day. But it's not." She seemed so content.

"Tamaki wants another?"  
The Suoh smiled. "Of course."

Yuuki noted something in her friend's voice. There was a long pause. Her expression changed dramatically. "Oh my gosh, Haruhi!" She sat across from her friend. "How far are you?"

"Four months."

The Ootori leant back. "You didn't wait long."

"Tamaki wanted a friend for Aimi. Hana and Jasmine will be in a different year to her at school, so he wanted someone who could be near her always."

That was sweet, in a strange sort of way. "And you agreed?"  
"Not for a long time."

Pause. "How soon did he want another?"  
"As soon as that one came into the world."

"Huh...eager."

Haruhi laughed. "He knows I only want two."

"Only two?"  
"Yes. I don't want a soccer team running around my house. As much as I love kids, I want my own life too. I want to be able to do what I want without worrying about so many things."  
"I understand that. I think I'll only ever have one."

"If any." Haruhi said flatly. "You still have a lot of time, but if you're going to join the bandwagon, do it."

Yuuki laughed as Aimi ran up to her mom, holding aloft a little brown ball made of wicker. It was a decorative item that one places in bowls or glass vases. "You better let her know you can't peel that for her to eat."

"No." Haruhi took the item. "You can't eat that darling." Her daughter had learnt that if she wanted something round to eat, it often had to be cut up or peeled. The woman threw the ball at Yuuki.

The Ootori took the bowl off the coffee table and set it on the mantle above the fireplace.

"This house is not child proof." The Suoh said.

"Well. You keep bringing your child over." Yuuki replied, slightly distracted. It wasn't a very safe house. She had six months to fix it though.  
"Whats the tone?"

"What tone?"  
"The little 'oh...maybe it's not...' tone."

"Suki, Kira and you are continuously bringing your children over; it's probably not the best place to have them. There are stairs and corners and...balls."

Haruhi stared. "You've been trying, haven't you?"  
"What?"  
"You know. Trying. To have a baby."

"What? No." Not anymore anyway. Pause. "Why?"

"You're sometimes a little obvious."

"No, I'm not." Yuuki frowned and sat down.

"There." Haruhi nodded at the way her hands folded across her torso. "You are trying."

"I'm the people reader here."

"So you are?"  
"I'm not telling you about what Kyoya and I do in our....spare time."

"Well, when you get pregnant everyone knows."  
"Okay." Yuuki raised her hands. "Enough. T.F."

"T.F?"

Kyoya was the only person who knew what her abbreviations meant. "To far."

Haruhi laughed. "Alright. I won't ask anymore. I won't even tell Suki I'm suspicious. When you're ready to join the club though, tell me."  
"Alright. I'll tell you when I'm ready to join." Yuuki laughed. Aimi laughed because the women were laughing, she kept turning in circles, trying to watch them both at the same time.

Yuuki wasn't ready to join the club yet, even though she'd applied for membership. She was ready for her and Kyoya, just not for the rest of the world. That was always a hard point with her. The world was difficult to her. She preferred theirs.

-

It's an incredibly strange feeling, waking up and expecting someone to be next to you and finding their place empty. Yuuki had found herself either pressed against or wrapped around some other form for almost three years. It had become habit. Now that form was in Paris, working.

The girl scowled and stumbled out of bed and into her riding clothes. She spent an hour grooming her horse, putting off going back inside. She knew it would be empty when she got there. Zero pressed his nose into his owner's abdomen.

"Yes. Say hello." Yuuki smiled. "But I'm not teaching it to ride on you. We'll buy you a friend. A nice, gentle friend." The horse snorted as she mounted up. "If you throw me, my husband will not be happy. At all. So don't."

"When you going to learn that horses don't speak human?" A friendly voice called across the yard. Tachi saluted pleasantly in hello. "Why would Kyoya get so mad if you fell off? I mean...madder than the other time."

Yuuki paused. "He doesn't like the hospital."

"He works at the hospital."  
"He doesn't like me in the hospital."

"Ooo. Save." The man said mockingly. "I'll grill you on that one later."

"There's nothing to grill."  
"Yeah. Because the ovens already on."  
Yuuki thinned her eyes at him. "Why does everyone think I'm pregnant?"  
"Maybe because everyone else has done it, you just need to hop on the boat."

"Do I look pregnant?"  
"No. Most women your age would kill to be as fit."  
"Most women don't regard horse riding as exercise."  
"Best toning work out you can get."

"Exactly." The girl smiled.

"Oh. Don't get cocky. You're still as flat as a washboard."  
Yuuki's face fell. "I'm going to hurt you."  
"No you're not."  
"Yes. Yes I am."  
"Just warm your horse up."  
The girl spent the rest of the following hour under a personal storm cloud. Maybe there was a good part to being pregnant when most dresses had to be fitted smaller on the top half. Bra shopping. Apparently.

"You are the most vindictive trainer I've ever met." Yuuki shot at Tachi every time she rode near him.

"Oh. You're still pretty as pie, darling."  
"Pie has curves!"

"Watch your flex. Good. No pie is round. No girl wants to be round like pie. Pretty like pie, yes. Not curvy like pie."  
"I'll kick you in the pie in a minute."  
"I'll make sure to keep my distance."  
"Yeah. You better."  
Childish pause. "Pie, your face."  
"You wish you were pie." Yuuki shot back. They both laughed as Zero began his warm down. The girl reached down and petted his neck. "Good boy. Want to kick Tachi? Yeah. I won't get mad if you do. Promise."

The horse shook his neck, more a habit than a response. The man laughed. "See, he likes me."  
"Oh whatever."

"We won Japan Grand together."  
"So did we. And without the grey hairs."

"Oh. That's hard."  
"Yeah." She smiled evilly.

"Not as hard as a washboard."

Yuuki scowled at him. "Oh. Shut up." She snapped.

"Yeah. You're not pregnant. Pregnant women are usually smiley and happy."

The Ootori dismounted. "You're the second person to bring up the spawn talk."

"Uhuh. The first being your husband I gather?"  
"No, Haruhi."  
"Ah. Spawn."  
No one would know she was pregnant until she was ready to tell them so. Then they could all laugh and say 'I-told-you-so'. Right now it was her cherished secret. The baby shifted slightly. It tingled slightly. Yuuki smiled. Maybe it was growing. Or stretching. Or doing yoga. Whatever it is babies do when inside the womb.

"What you smiling at?" Tachi carried Zero's saddle into the tack room.

"Nothing."

"Uhuh."  
"I woke up alone this morning." Change of topic.

Apparently not. "Ah. That smile."  
"Oh. Gosh. Gee. What is with you today? And Haruhi yesterday?"  
"You're too private. We get curious."  
"Not about that. Thank you very much."  
"My girl...." A heavy voice boomed through the stable. "...is very private. So private it took a long time to get this address."

Yuuki froze. Tachi looked at her suddenly pale face and then stuck his head out the stall. "Can I help you, sir?"

"Why. Yes you can." Shot pause. Footsteps. "I came to give the bride her wedding present."

"There be no bride's around here, sir." The instructor slipped out of the stall and walked forward a few steps so that whoever it was couldn't see Yuuki until she wanted to see him.

"Ah. But there was."  
"Which are you speaking of?" Tachi's grandmother had been from Texas and had taught him respect to the disrespectful.

"The newest Ootori."

Yuuki flinched at the nearness of her father's voice and let Zero out the back door of the stall into the paddock.

"And what would you want to see her for?"

"She's my daughter."  
"You didn't walk her down the aisle, sir."  
"Well. No. I didn't."  
"And for good reason." The girl let herself out. Kyoya had taught her to fight. "You need a father for that."

Shang Cunxin had become drawn. Aged. His vindictive nature came out through his eyes. "Ah. Dear little Yuuki. You look well."  
"I was until you walked in here. Get off this land."  
Tachi realised what was happening. "Mr Cunxin, you have no right to be here."  
"Oh." The man pushed passed the instructor to get to his daughter. "I do." He held up a set of papers. "I need you to withdraw these..." Pause. "Dear."

Yuuki knew what they were. A restraining order against him, from her. "No. You are defying them now."  
"Ye..."  
"And if you defy them further I will take you to court for real."  
"Oh. I bet your husband will do it for you."  
"Leave Kyoya out of this."  
"He put us in it."

Tachi grabbed the Cunxin's shoulder and pulled him around. "Leave."

Shang stared at the man. "Not until she withdraws these. It's bad for business."  
Yuuki grabbed her riding crop from the top of the stall. "Get out." She wouldn't hit him, but she knew he wasn't opposed to physical assault.

Her father looked over his shoulder at her. "What? You going to hit me?"

The girl just stared at him.

"Nah. Didn't think so."

Tachi's voice was hard. "Sir, If you do not leave now, I will call the police. Yuuki is not interested in withdrawing the restraining order you are currently defying."

"I didn't spend a lot of time trying to work out where this place is, only to be thrown out."

"That's not my problem."

"You are my problem right now. No one gets in my way." Shang swung at the man.

Tachi stepped back and avoided the blow. "Get off this property."

"The only person who can make me do that is the owner. And he's at work."

"No." Yuuki stood beside Tachi. "No. She's right here."  
"You own this?"  
"I paid the down payment."Shang glared at her. "And as such, I am the owner. You get off my property." The baby didn't like the stress. It kept moving.

"Hmm..." The Cunxin looked at the pair. "You wont sign these?"

"No."  
He looked around. "There are no jeeps around here, are there?"  
Kyoya had the only car. It was in the garage next to the house. Yuuki didn't reply.

"And the horse is away, happily ignorant. As you were for so long." Shang turned back to his daughter. "I get my way, Yuuki. You'll withdraw these papers."  
"I will not. This is not even a discussion."

There was a long silence. "You little..."

It was de'ja'vous, only with Tachi in the way. The instructor grabbed Yuuki's crop after he shoved the offending man away. Just before he had time to offend anyone with his fist. Shang turned around and punched the man on the jaw. He was rewarded with an attack on the same for him, only worse. A riding crop delivers a hard, painful blow.

"Get off this land." Tachi raised his voice. "I won't ask again. So help me, I will drive you from it with force if I have to."

Yuuki's father had a split lip and a long red line that reached from the base of his jaw to the bridge of his nose. She disappeared into the tack room. There was a phone in there. Tachi yelled at Shang Cunxin for five minutes before the police arrived to escort him off the property. They questioned the bruising on his face and then saw the bruising on the instructors face, took it as a defensive act and hauled away.

Half an hour later, over a cup of very sweet tea, the pair stared at each other from opposite sides of the dining room table. "Your father is a jerk." Tachi was holding a packet of frozen peas to his jaw.  
"I'm sorry."  
"No. Don't say sorry. Get a lock for your front gate. Don't say sorry."  
Yuuki smiled. "Alright."  
The baby had settled. The girl knew stress wasn't good for it, but Tachi had been there. It could have been worse. The child was safe inside her. It was protected. She would keep it there until it was ready to make its public appearance. An hour later, once her instructor had left, she called the obstetrician. He told her that major stress, like death of a loved one, would be bad. But just a temporary trauma wouldn't affect the child.

"Don't worry." He assured. "Every mother to be calls me after they've had a fight or even been in a car accident, with the same question. Everyone has carried to term and delivered a healthy baby."  
"Okay." Yuuki breathed. "So...there's nothing to worry about?"  
"Not from that incident. That wont affect your pregnancy. You're healthy, your husband is healthy, your baby is healthy. If anything happens to it, its not part of today's events."  
"What do you mean, 'if something happens'?"

"I have to tack that on. People sue if we don't warn them. Pregnancy is hard to maintain. Even though the birth-rate keeps climbing. But as I said, you're healthy. You'll be fine."

One in three women didn't make it full term, for reasons unexplained. Obstetricians often got sued for not raising the high risk of mortality. Yuuki was just going into her second trimester; she was almost in the clear for a successful term. Even so. The girl put a protective hand on her stomach. She wouldn't let anything happen to their child. Not because of her father, not because of the statistics. Nothing would touch it.

-

Kyoya rang that evening.

"_Hello, Yuuki?"_

"No. It's Oprah."

"_You're well I presume?"  
_"You presume right. How are you?"  
_"Tired."_

"Thanks captain obvious."  
A low laugh carried through the line. _"What did you do today?"_

"Watched Tachi hit my father over the face with a riding-crop. It was surprisingly a very good feeling."

Long pause. _"You're father was there?"_

"Yes."

"_Why?"  
_"To withdraw the restraining order. Oxymoron, right?"  
_"Just moron. Are you alright?"  
_"I told you, I'm fine. We've been through worse."  
_"And the baby?"  
_"Active."

"_Is that a good thing?"_

"It's a normal thing. I'm dreading the feeling when it gets bigger. If it's a girl, she's going to be a dancer. If it's a boy, we need to get him ADHD meds."

"_Yu..."_

"I talked to the doctor. It won't affect anything. I promise. I feel fine. I'm happy, I'm talking to you, my dad is in jail at this point....Kyoya. Don't worry." They were indestructible.

"_Alright." _He was probably smiling. _"Stay out of trouble."  
_"You going?"

"_The economy won't hold itself up."_

"Okay Atlas. Go hold up the earth."

"_You saying my father is Zeus and he punished me?"  
_"Hardly. You took the globe upon yourself."  
_"I can tell your fine."_

"Yeah."

"_Yes."  
_"Whatever."

Kyoya sighed. _"Talk to you tomorrow."  
_"Come home early."  
_"Will try."_

"Love you."  
_"You too." _He sounded stressed.

"Kyoya?"  
_"Mm?"  
_"Smile."

There was an amused silence. _"Goodbye, Yuuki." _His tone was lighter.

Yuuki smiled as she hung up. She loved pleasing him. The girl put her hand on her stomach. There was still no bump. Disappointing. "Hey in there. Did you hear dad? Yeah. I mean yes. Never say 'yeah' in this household...you okay in there? You're a fighter. Just like your dad. And...probably your soon to be adoptive uncle. Tachi will love you." The girl spent the rest of the night talking to her better half. Eagerly awaiting the point where she could hold him in her arms, not just in her tummy.

The baby shifted. The tingling feeling returned. Yuuki wondered how soon it would be before she got her baby bump. It was growing.

_-_

_Day after day, I'd __love__ to say it  
Time and again, I'd __love__ to say it  
Just when you need it the most  
There's something you wanted to hear  
Yes, just when you need me the most  
I'll be waiting for you  
I can't wait to see you  
I can't wait to see you_

_(I can't wait to see you, Eurogliders)_

_-_

That night, Yuuki had a dinner at Suki's house. The baby's habits didn't change. Everything was perfect inside. Little Riki was at her friend's house playing with Jasmine. She rose to her feet and bounced up to Yuuki.

"Does Kyoya sleep in a coffin?"  
"What?" The girl looked down at the child.

"Tamaki said he was a vampire at your wedding."

"That was three years ago." Yuuki laughed. "How do you remember?"

"You remember it."  
She paused. "Yes. Vividly."

"Why are you smiling like that?"  
"I'll tell you when you're older."  
"I am older!"  
"Not old enough."  
"You never answered my question."

Yuuki knelt down to the girl's eye level. "No. Kyoya does not sleep in a coffin. He is not evil. He's just..."  
"Cold." Suki finished as she carried a basket of bread rolls into the kitchen. "Yuuki, tell us if you need a lift. How much do you spent on cabs?"  
"Um..."  
"Don't answer that. I don't want to know." The woman said with a smile. Her daughter ran over and latched onto her mother's legs. "Not now Jazz. Mommy has to get the food on the table."

"Mommy." The child stuttered.

Yuuki stared. "She's talking."  
Suki looked at her daughter and tickled the top of her head. "Yeah. Recently. Don't ask her to be coherent."

The Ootori stared at Jasmine. The little girl knew Yuuki and ran over and latched onto her side, she was still crouched to talk to Riki. The baby giggled in her ear.

"Hello there." The woman hugged the tiny body. Riki got jealous and made it a group hug.  
"Oh look!" Suki's husband walked into the room. "Hippies!"

Yuuki laughed. "Yes. I'm going to bring weed next time."  
"What's weed?" The eldest child asked.

"It's something adults do. When their bored." The Ootori filled in humorously.

"No." The man crossed the room and picked his niece up. "No. Weed is bad. No one in this room has done or will ever do weed."

Yuuki stared at the girls confused face. "I was joking Riki. I won't bring weed. If anyone ever offers you any, tell them they are losers. Okay?"  
"I can say loser?"

The Ootori was obviously still not good at the whole parenting thing. "Um...no."

"Okay." Suki saved the day. "Who wants pizza?"

"Is it okay to feed a baby pizza?" She was more worried about what she was eating.  
"It's got vegetables on it."  
"Hmm..." Yuuki looked at dinner. "Alright. Pizza it is." She picked Jasmine up and put her in her high chair. "You like pizza?" The noises that came out of the child's mouth sounded like 'yum' but sounded like gurgles. Which they probably were. The tingling in her stomach returned. The baby didn't move as much. The Ootori wondered if they got growing pains. The little feelings stopped her from worrying though. It was still inside her and still living. It had a heartbeat that beat in time with hers and Kyoya's.

Halfway through dinner, Yuuki felt funny. Like she'd drunk to much milk to fast. Her stomach swam. To top it off, the baby decided to do a little dance, it really didn't help. She'd never had morning sickness, but this was something like it.

"You alright?" Suki said. "You look very pale."

"Yeah. Just...nauseous."  
"You don't know nausea until you've been pregnant."

Yuuki nodded. "I'll take your word for it."

"Need to use the bathroom?"

The Ootori excused herself and was followed closely by her friend. "You sure you're okay?"  
"Yes." Yuuki nodded. Nothing had happened to cause anything to go wrong with the baby. It was just dinner.

"You used to get sick when the curse of eve came around?"  
"I don't have my period."  
"Why? You're like a Swiss clock."  
"How do you know?"  
"Darling, you get a little teary when watching sitcoms once a month. And refuse any milk products."  
"Oh..." Yuuki laughed. "No. It's not that."  
"You sure?"  
"Positive."  
"That was an awful strong positive?"  
"I know when it happens." And it wouldn't for six more months.

"Here." Suki reached into the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. "It will help." She held out some ibuprofen.

"No. I'm good." Yuuki dismissed the drug. "I hate tablets."  
"We have it in liquid form, for Jasmine. It's not as strong, but we can up the dosage?"  
The Ootori smiled and splashed her face with water. "No. I don't want you playing with drugs."

"Suit yourself."

"I'll be fine Suki. I just ate too much."  
"Alright. If you're going to do a miss universe in my bathroom, please use the toilet and not the sink." The last miss universe was bulimic. Suki knew no social boundaries.

"Alright...I will." Yuuki leant on the sink and watched the door close. She was suddenly very, very tired. She decided to call a cab and call it a night. Anything that made her feel bad probably wasn't good for the other being trying to survive inside. An hour later she arrived home and stumbled to the bathroom to throw up. Her throat closed from fear. Not for herself, but for her baby.

Half an hour after that it felt like someone was trying to rip at her insides with a jagged knife. It hurt. A lot. Yuuki couldn't stand straight from it; her body kept trying to double over. The tingling in her stomach, the babies tingling, turned into a searing pain. Something was terribly wrong.

The girl called her doctor. When she told him, between gasps, what was happening, he gave her a verdict. The phone broke when she dropped it and Yuuki cried out in pain as another round of contractions began.

One in three.

The pain was like nothing she'd ever felt. It burned and stung and throbbed all at the same time, all on ten on the one to ten scale. It ripped through her, first only every ten minutes, sending her into a curled ball on the bathroom mat. Then it became six minutes. Then three. After six hours, the bleeding had stopped. It still hurt. But the pain was empty without anything to cause it. Yuuki had cried the whole time.

-

_Miscarriage__ or __spontaneous abortion__ is the spontaneous end of a __pregnancy__ at a stage where the embryo or fetus is incapable of surviving, generally defined in humans at prior to 20 weeks of __gestation__. Miscarriage is the most common complication of early pregnancy_

_Miscarriages that occur after the sixth week are medically termed '__clinical spontaneous abortion'._

_To the mother, no term is relevant. All she knows is that she lost something...and she can never get it back._

_-_

Kyoya called the next morning, the same time he did every day.

"_Hello, beautiful."  
_"Hi." Her voice sounded empty.

"_What's wrong?"  
_"Nothing." She couldn't tell him. She'd failed him. She'd failed herself.

"_You sure?"_

"Yes. I just didn't sleep last night."  
_"Why?"  
_"I missed you." She'd lost a part of him. The part that had fit so perfectly with her. Within her.

"_I missed you too." _Pause. _"How's the baby?"_

"Happy." Yuuki would know. She's the one who sent it to heaven.

-

She went to the doctor, still in a state of shock. He remembered her call the night before and told her that the foetus had been perfectly healthy; it was just one of those things.

_Just one of those things_.

The baby had begun to develop in the fallopian tube and had resulted in an ectopic pregnancy. The tingling sensations were the baby growing, but it was also a sign that it had not implanted correctly and was causing her to rupture. That's what the pain had been. The sickness was attributed to a low progesterone level, just like what happens when a women is about to have her period. Her body had known. Her body had known the baby wouldn't make it, so it stopped producing the hormone that was keeping it alive. It happened. It just happened. It was not because of anything, it was not a result of stress...things died. Human error happened. They missed things. The ultra sound wasn't clear so early. There were no other signs. Stuff happened.

The doctor's voice was flat. He'd done this before. "Unfortunately, the pain you experienced was the rupturing of the fallopian tube."

"Unfortunately?"  
The man ran a hand over his face. "You won't be able to produce from that side. I guess that's why God gave you a backup."

"So...I can...try again?" Pause. "Maybe." She stared at him, expectantly. Her heart in her throat. It was embarrassing to talk about herself, about her failure.

"You can try. But, there are no guarantees. You can always have, GIFT or IVF treatment."  
"But...naturally?"  
There was a long silence. "I doubt it, Mrs Cunxin."  
"Oh." She looked away. "Okay.

There was a long silence. A big wall clock filled in the gaps every second or so. The whole morning had been embarrassing, painful. Emotionally. Disgracefully. It was like she had dishonoured herself in not being able to function correctly. Like she was a malfunctioning life. Worth less. Worthless.

_Tick. _

_Tick. _

_Tick. _

"Would it have hurt?" Yuuki asked, looking at her hands.

"What would?" The doctor was confused. She'd just told him she'd experienced the worst pain imaginable and asked if it had hurt.

"The baby...it..." She breathed shakily. "...it had a nervous system. And...a heartbeat." She was overcome with an overwhelming wave of shame. It had been their little person, and she'd lost it.

The man across the desk from her closed his hands and leant on the table. "Mrs Ootori, we don't know. A foetus is not legally alive until it is born."  
"But it moved." She looked at him. "It moved. And it hurt. It hurt. Only life can hurt you like that." Yuuki covered her mouth.

"Yuuki." The man rounded his desk and leant on the desk in front of her. He put his hand on hers. "Go home. You need to rest. I've done everything I can for you. The foetus is gone. Your bleeding has stopped. I've given you pain medication. There is nothing you could have done, but there are things you can do now."

"It wasn't a foetus. It had a name." Deep down she knew she had lost a daughter. A little girl. She didn't know how to explain how she knew, she just did. Her little lily, Sayuri, was gone.

"You're in shock. You need to talk to someone. A psychologist even."  
"I am a psychologist." Technically.

"You cannot talk to yourself. You need a different perspective. All you see, is you."  
The girl looked up at the doctor. "No one else knew."  
"Your husband knew."  
"He..." She would have to tell him. "He...doesn't know."  
"You must have spoken to him?"

"I did."  
"And?"  
"I told him the baby was happy."  
"Do you think it is?"  
Yuuki stared out the window and refused to cry in public. She put on a sloppy proud face. "She went to heaven. How could she not be?" People always ask 'what is in the best interest of the child?' The only reply Yuuki could think of was that she loved her, and no other form of interest mattered.

"Mrs Ootori. Go home. Have a bath. Play your piano. Go and mourn." The way he put it was odd. To have a bath and play the piano. To live and mourn. To mourn while moving on. Was that the only way to keep up with life, when a life had just left you behind?

The woman nodded and left the clinic. As she came out, a couple, eight months pregnant, went in. They smiled and laughed and glowed. Or they seemed to glow to one who had just felt a light go out. She had felt something die within her. Not emotionally, but physically die. It died. Yuuki couldn't grasp the idea. It died. It had existed. It had lived in her. And now it didn't. It was that simple and yet so complex to understand. It ceased to exist. It was gone. But it wasn't gone. It had left things behind. Like questions. A painful ache. Memories.

Yuuki climbed into the cab and went to her mother's grave. Someplace where death existed. She sat in front of the tombstone and stared at her reflection in its marble face. She looked like her mother, but her mother was dead. She was still alive.

"I tried, mom, I really tried." Yuuki whispered, touching her reflection. "I feel...ashamed. I feel...like a failure." How could anybody love her when she had lost that which her love, loved. She loved him. Nothing had changed. He was still very much a part of her. He completed her. But it didn't mean she couldn't get hurt, couldn't lose other things. Couldn't lose herself. Would Kyoya get lost if Yuuki did? That's what she struggled with. Her failure. He was incomplete without her, but their completion was gone. Did that change anything?

Yuuki was scared. She'd lost a part of him. And a part of herself a long with it. Had they lost themselves? Or just the expression of something they already knew. Losing one form of something that already existed.

The Ootori went home. She was still an Ootori. She had a bath and played the piano. But she didn't answer the phone. She emailed Tachi and told him not to come. She left Zero's door open so he could get out. And then she did nothing. Her own life meant little to her that day.

-

"Yuuki?"  
_"Yeah?"  
_"Yes."

"Whatever."

"_I'll be at the airport at 6."_

"Okay."  
_"I'll see you there."  
_"Okay."  
Pause. _"Do you think it's a boy, or a girl?"_

"Girl."

"_So buying a pink calculator wouldn't be too pretentious." _He stated. He was excited about the baby. He rarely got obviously excited.

"No." He'd been joking. He expected her to say something about buying an infant a calculator. It was so him.

"_Yuuki, what's wrong?"_

"I just feel sick."  
_"How?"_

"My back hurts." Understatement. Her whole abdomen hurt.

"_Already?"_

"It was pretty sudden."

"_I'll be home soon."  
_"Okay."  
_"I love you."_

Yuuki cried quietly. Would he? "I love you too. Always." No matter what.

Click.

-

_Samson came to my bed  
Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed  
Oh I cut his hair myself one night  
A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light  
And he told me that I'd done alright  
And kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light  
And he kissed me 'til the mornin' light_

Samson went back to bed  
Not much hair left on his head  
Ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed  
Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down  
Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one  
And history books forgot about us  
And the bible didn't mention us, not even once  
(Sampson, Regina Spektor)

-

When Kyoya arrived home, tired and jetlagged, but not worn, he expected his wife to come to him and make him forget. She didn't. He knew something was wrong already, the silence just proved it. It washed over everything. She hadn't come to the airport. She hadn't come to the door.

"Yuuki?" He pushed his glasses up and put his luggage on a sideboard.

The whole house was dark. Something caught the man's eye. It shone when the light from the moon caught it. Broken glass. There was no alcohol in the house, but obviously someone had been distressed enough not to need it. Kyoya wondered if Hikaru and Kaoru had come around again and if Yuuki was hiding.

The Ootori ventured upstairs. A light spilled into the bedroom. A thin sliver of yellowish gold from under the bathroom door. The sound of the shower drifted along with the light, the sort that means the bather hadn't even shut the door. They'd just got in and not cared. Kyoya pushed the door open. "Yuuki?"  
She was sitting at the bottom of the shower. Her legs tucked into her chest and her arms around her knees. There were dark circles under her eyes and she shivered. There was no steam from the water. No heat. As if she were trying to get a stain off.

"Yuuki, what's wrong?"

She didn't look at him. She hid her face from him. She hadn't liked the echo of the closed shower cubicle. It was like being trapped.

Kyoya put his glasses next to the sink and stepped into the flow of water, fully clothed. "What's wrong?" He slid down beside her.

Yuuki glanced at him and then stared straight ahead. "I had a dream the other night." Her voice was surprisingly smooth for her state. "I dreamed about our baby. She had a very straight nose, like yours, and your pretty eyes. She had my mother's hair and your hands. My cheekbones and our heart." She looked at him. "That was the last time I slept."

"Why?" Kyoya wrapped an arm around her. She was freezing. "Yuuki, what happened?"

"I couldn't sleep because I didn't want to see her. Because it hurt already." She held her knee's closer, if she bent it helped with the pain. But it was mostly caused by emotion and thus hadn't died.

Her husband didn't even think about what she was getting to. It had never occurred to him. It just hadn't been an option. "Darling, why won't you tell me?"  
"Because I'm scared you won't love me." Her voice started to get shaky. "Because saying it means my father was right." One of her hands found his elbow and gripped his shirt.

"Not to love you would be the blackest blasphemy."  
"Don't say that. Don't say that Kyoya. You don't...you...you don't know."  
"Then tell me." He pulled her closer. "You know you can tell me." She was trembling against his side. That level of stress wasn't good for the baby. She needed to calm down. "Do you not want to be a mother?"

Yuuki made a small noise and started to cry. She was about to come apart but he was holding her together. She didn't want him to let go but felt as if she deserved it.

For the first time in his life, Kyoya got truly scared. "Tell me Yuuki. Right now." His tone was firm.

"I lost the baby." She looked at him. Her lip trembled and she waited.

Kyoya stared. "When?"

"The third night you were away." Her tone quivered.

For three other nights then, she had told him that the baby was fine. "You said it was alright. You told me the baby was alright." He pulled her head against his shoulder, needing the reassurance of her company. Needing to know she was okay.  
"She is alright. She's in heaven." They'd just been left behind.

Kyoya swallowed. His throat closed. How much it must have hurt to talk about a child that had just died, as if it still existed. Every night. Just so that he would love her for one more day. "Yuuki..." He cradled her. "...did you think I would be mad at you?"  
"I...I thought you...I was mad at myself...I feel so...ashamed."  
"Does it hurt?"

She nodded.  
"How long did it last?"  
"Six hours. It was ectopic..."  
It made sense. The baby had got too big and her body hadn't liked it. Her body had been hurting and had expelled the hurt.

Yuuki lifted one hand miserably. "I didn't even know...I should have known."

"No. Shh..." Kyoya reached up and turned the hot water on. "No. Yuuki."  
"Do you hate me?"  
"No. I could never hate you."

"Are you disappointed?"  
"No. Darling. No." He was trying to come to terms with what she had just told him. "Shh...don't feel ashamed. You're not a failure."  
"But I..."  
"No. Yuuki don't. You're not. These things happen."  
"Kyoya...it was ectopic."  
"I know."  
"As in...that side is now damaged." The probability of them getting pregnant again naturally was very low.

"You have another."  
"I..." She looked at her knees. "Tell me you forgive me. Please, Kyoya."

"Shhh, Yuuki. I can't forgive you if you did nothing wrong."  
"Then tell me I can forgive myself."  
"You did nothing wrong."

"Bu..."

"Yuuki, seriously. Shut up. Alright? Shut up." He cupped her face with one hand and made her look at him. "It's not your fault. Alright? It's not. I'm not mad at you. I don't hate you. Okay? I love you and you're going to be alright."  
"Are we going to be alright?"  
"Yes." He assured her.

She swallowed for the first time in a few days and finally felt a small release. He was still with her. He still fit beside her. Perfectly. They both just hurt. A lot. Despite the warm water, Yuuki was still trembling uncontrollably. She cried that little hiccupping cry and clung to herself. "I'm sorry." She said quietly.

Kyoya ran a hand through her wet hair. "Shhh..." He kissed her head. Seeing her like she was hurt him more than losing his child. Silence elapsed. After what seemed like hours, Kyoya turned the water off. He wrapped his wife in a towel and carried her out of the bathroom. It reeked of sorrow.

He put her on the end of the bed and kissed her forehead. Yuuki's hair was stuck to her face and he peeled it off and tucked it behind her ears. The girl held the towel like a shield and watched him disappear for a second into the closet. Kyoya came back, still sopping wet, holding his black sweater.

Yuuki smiled inside, but it didn't make it to her face. Her husband slid it over her head and kissed her nose softly when she reappeared through the neck hole. He kissed her hands when they slid out the folded-back sleeves. She was still trembling.

The man folded the covers back before sliding his wife under them and taking his place at her side. He hadn't been there, but he was now. He held her, still absolutely soaking wet but not caring at all.

Yuuki gripped his shirt and felt the water from it fill her palms. "You'll get sick." She managed to say. "You'll get sick..."  
"Shh..." Kyoya shed his shirt and pulled her into his damp chest once again. "I don't care. I don't care, Yuuki."

"I care...I can't lose you again." She'd lost half of him in their child. And it pained her. It was excruciating.

"You won't. I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise."  
"I promise."  
"I'm so sorry."  
"Stop saying that."  
"But I am. I'm sor..."  
"No. Yuuki. Stop it. I'm not sorry. Yes, it hurts, but it's not your fault. Okay?"  
She didn't move. "It feels like a bad dream. I just want to wake up. I just want you to forgive me."

"You're impossible. How can I put this so you'll believe me? You're not asleep. I'm here and I love you. I have always loved you and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away."

She didn't make a noise.

"I love you, alright? You can't change that. You can't stop loving me. Alright? It's not going to happen."  
"Al...alright."

"Really?"  
"No." Pause. "But it will be."

"Good girl." He said softly. "Go to sleep, hummingbird." She'd last longer than a butterfly, even if she was just as fragile.  
"I'm afraid to."  
"Don't be. I'm right here."

Her shaking started to subside. He was there. He was with her. They were alright. They were. They just were. It hurt. But they were together, holding the other. Helping them not to fall apart. Helping them. Honouring them. Respecting them. Mourning with them.

-

_I'll always remember_

_It was late afternoon_

_It lasted forever_

_And ended so soon_

_You were all by yourself_

_I wanted to hold you_

_I wanted to make it go away_

_I wanted to know you_

_I wanted to make your everything, all right_

_I'll always remember_

_It was late afternoon_

_In places no one will find_

_In places no one will find_

_All your feelings so deep inside_

_It was now that I realized_

_That forever was in your eyes_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_Baby cry_

_The moment that I saw you cry_

_I think I saw you cry_

_The moment I saw you cry_

_(Cry, A walk to remember)_

_-_

-------

_Not entirely happy. Or at all. But we'll see. Wont we. :) I think you've all realised by now that I dont write anything depressing without cause. _

_So. If you want the whole biological explanation of how that happened, ask. I wouldn't write it if I couldn't back it up scientifically and realistically. I did a study into assisted reproduction technologies and infertility where I wrote an entry for a scientific journal. It's all backed up. _

_I think I may extend this story a bit. I've hit a few muses. You're not bored? If you want to wind down, tell me. I'd hate to be long-winded._

_The Kyoya/Doberman thing fits with the story. You'll understand if you have one or have met one. I have a Doberman, one with an undocked tail and un-spiked ears. Beautiful dog. Like the sports car of the canine world. She's incredibly affectionate and doesn't trust easily; but when she does, when she finds someone she loves – that's it. You're stuck. You let her inside and the first thing she does is run to you and make sure you're alright and that you're happy to see her, if you're not, she will promptly sit on your foot until you are. :) Stubborn, in a way only those she love's understands. _

_I know that wasn't the happiest chapter in the world, but you can't live on fluff for long. This is a life story, not a love story. If no one noticed, the shower scene was inspired by Casino Royale._

_So please, I really value your input. Tell me if you liked it, loved it, hated it, whatever. What you think is important to me. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	31. Chapter 29

-

**Chapter 29**

**-**

Yuuki woke up with a headache. The sort you get when you've thought about something serious that has absolutely no resolution for too long and then just gone to sleep. It was the brains way of letting you know you'd left it in the lurch the night before. And a little dehydrated because you cried too much. Yet, for the first time in day's she'd slept without seeing her daughters face. Or the daughter that would have had a face should she have made it officially into the world. The child had been very, very real to her. Very alive. With its tiny heartbeat and fluttering movements. Now she was empty.

Something shifted beside her. Something wet. Yuuki looked at Kyoya. He had taken his shirt off, but his slacks had been sodden and his shoes full up with water. Surely a man with half a brain would have thought to take them off too. The girl smiled. He was holding her, just as he had been every other morning. As if nothing had happened. Forgiveness is like that, or is supposed to be. You forgive and you don't forget, but you move on. He had said there was nothing to forgive, but Yuuki believed that there was. She still felt an ache of shame and a pain in her stomach, but they would fade in time. With him, wounds faded. He had stayed with her.

Kyoya woke up uncomfortable and vowed never, ever, ever to sleep with shoes on again. Ever. Never ever never. Even if the world was exploding and he just so happened to be getting into bed at the time. It was like walking around in brand new leather shoes without socks on, all day. Especially since the shoes were brand new and leather and he'd been wearing them all day. Soggy socks also became a particular to-don't on his hit list of fashion. The man looked over, his wife was asleep. He bet she'd woken up and then drifted off again. As per usual. There were still dark lines under her eyes, but her tone had lightened slightly. Kyoya didn't doubt she'd been to hell and back in the last few days. Especially when she'd blamed herself for the fault of biology. Things went wrong and she had needed someone or something to blame. The closest and most reasonable thing had been herself. It made sense. She'd carried the child and it had died. Like she'd broken fragile cargo.

The man kicked his shoes off and pulled Yuuki closer. She was warm. Like always. But somehow more delicate. Translucent, like aged paper. Secrets that had faded to dust. Their secrets.

It had hurt him, to lose their baby. It felt like a little candle had been lit out. A life had disappeared before it had even breathed real air. It had been breathing its mother, which is why she had been so distraught when it died. It breathed her just like she breathed him and he her. A constant chain of life that had abruptly been cut shorter. Their daughter would have smelt like white lilies and jasmine. A perfect extension of themselves. But life wasn't perfect. Life allowed things to die. And death, no matter how inevitable, hurt. It just did. It left no little pain, even if the being had been small.

Kyoya kissed his wife's head. She would wake up in a minute. No matter what seemed to happen, she always smelled like rose. Always. Her face was always proud, it did not call out; but rather, softly beckoned. She would always be Yuuki, as long as she had him and he her.

The girl stirred and brought her hand to her face. Her fingers ran over her eyelids before they opened. "Hey." Her tone was sleepy, but ever so subtly bright. Happy to see him, despite everything that had happened.

Kyoya kissed her tenderly.

"I didn't say hello last night." Yuuki blinked a few times.

"No one would expect you to."  
"I forgot you at the airport."  
"No one would expect you to remember."  
"I got your pants all wet."  
Kyoya laughed. "Yes, yes you did." Pause. "Are you alright?"  
"Slightly...soggy."  
"Don't avoid the question."  
Yuuki tugged at the top of the covers. "I'm...yeah. As can be expected."  
"You should have told me." He softly berated. "I know everything about you, I wouldn't have been mad or stopped loving you."

"Thank you, God."

"No, seriously. You don't see yourself clearly."  
"This isn't about me."  
"It is. Don't argue with me."  
"You had to work. I could handle it."  
There was a long pause. He didn't doubt that she could, even so. He was her husband. "Does it still hurt?"  
The girl nodded. "Like an empty stomach." Like dull hunger pains.

Her husband paused. How do you deal with the loss of someone you didn't know, yet knew so intimately? Someone who was a part of yourself and a part of the one closest to you, someone who you'd never officially met. "I should have been there."  
"You were where you were needed."  
"Not where I was needed most." Sometimes, business just had to wait. They were only human, not machines.

"Now you're going down on yourself like I am on myself." Yuuki kissed the corner of his jaw. Making sure he was there. For real. It all seemed a dream. A very bad dream. Except for him. It became a apprehensive dream when Kyoya got home and then somehow turned into real sleep. Unknowing sleep. Safe sleep.

"I chastise myself. You punish yourself."

"I don't see how it's not the same thing."  
"Allowing for different perspectives."  
"Are you calling me narrow minded?"  
"You? Narrow minded? No. Blatantly single minded, yes."  
Yuuki scowled at him. "This isn't time for your analysis on life."

Kyoya stopped his wife from picking the stitching on the cover. It was coming undone. Which, was rather a feat considering how much it cost. "What do you need?"  
The girl glanced at him and then looked away. "Nothing." She had him and her, and that, essentially, was exactly what their child had been. The materials still remained. Everything was as it had been; only it hurt, like losing a parent. You could still love as you had, you just pained in a different way. It was a new experience, as such. It did not change your world, just altered the way you saw parts of it. "Kyoya?"  
"Mmm?"  
"Can you go change? You're sodden."

He laughed, lax to let her go. It was funny how she could make him laugh, especially when he shouldn't have felt like it. All he wanted to do at that moment was stop her hurting. His hurting didn't much matter when hers existed too. Kyoya didn't go change. Yuuki's hands were cold and they needed to be warm again.

-

_I want to take the bullet, the one aimed straight for your heart,  
I want to meet the wolves halfway, and let them tear me apart.  
I want to lay on the tracks, feel hot steel screaming at me_

_Let me show you what I mean.  
Yeah it's a different kind of love.  
I want to climb barbed wire fences and warm our hands in blood__._

_And this is my gift, is asking you to fix my ruined hands.  
And it's a gift that keeps on giving, and right now it's all I have to give_

_I want to write the perfect song, and play it just for you while you are tangled up in sleep.  
I need you more than I'll ever know  
Until I stop breathing my lungs will take you for granted._

_(In years to come, Thrice)_

_-_

Kyoya stood in the walk in robe, dressed in dry clothes, and tossed his wet ones through into the bathroom. It was early afternoon, Yuuki was still asleep. There was no doubting the exhaustion emotion can cause. It had powers beyond the physical that could not be measured.

The man looked out into their bedroom and watched her. She looked at peace. Like she'd accepted what had happened as something she had no control over. Kyoya sighed and leant his head on the doorframe. In six months, on the due date, it would hurt again. Maybe more. Like the anniversary of someone's passing; only it was supposed to be the beginning of someone living outside. Outside their world, but tightly tucked within it. When the bombs had gone off in London it was as if things had been shattered. But the pieces quickly found their place again and reformed, stronger. This time, nothing had shattered. It hadn't even broken. It just hurt. That was the hard truth of it. You didn't need to be broken to hurt.

Yuuki woke up and sat up. She rubbed her eye with the back of her hand, the way someone who's slept to much would. She made a small noise of greeting but was still half asleep.

Her husband crossed the room and sat on the bed, just beside her. He pushed the stray hairs off her face.

Yuuki caught his hand. "I'm not a baby." Her wording was probably wrong. "I can look after myself."  
Kyoya watched her kiss his palm. "I want to do it."  
"You want to do something for someone else?"  
"You're not someone else." He slid his abducted hand free and put it on the other side of her hip from that which he was sitting and leant on it.

The girl ran a hand through her hair. "What's the time?"  
"Around two."  
"I need to get up."  
"No. The best thing you can do right now is rest."  
"I'm rested."  
"Then rest some more. You need to give yourself time to heal."

"I'm fine."  
Kyoya pressed his forehead against hers. "If I deem that you're not, then you're not."  
"Just because you're a doctor doesn't mea..."  
He spoke over her. "Trust your husband."  
Yuuki hesitated a moment before pressing her lips to his. The man kissed her back, gently at first but gradually turning into an adoring need. Out of a habit that had developed over the last three months, Kyoya rested his hand on the skin of his wife's stomach. She looked him in the eye. "It's just me now." Yuuki glanced down at where his fingers were resting on her abdomen before bringing her gaze back to him. It was soft with a melancholy acceptance. "Just me."

Kyoya kissed her warmly. Just her. Like a hummingbird, small and fragile and yet adapted to survive without losing any of its beauty or weakness. He was tired of surviving. His job was amazing, but he was furious at it for taking him away and having him away when the greatest thing he had ever worked for slipped into a world he could not follow to. Not yet. So they created their own heaven, one where sorrow existed for a brief moment, reminding them of how beautiful everything else was. How, one bad thing does not mean everything is bad. It does not mean anything ends. They are just ripples of a greater circle, something they couldn't see yet and an end they knew nothing about. But it had a purpose, and if it was just to make them see the world; then it was good enough.

-

_Come all you weary with your heavy loads  
Lay down your burdens find rest for your souls  
Cause my yoke is easy and my burden is kind  
I'll take yours upon me and you can take mine  
Come all you weary move through the earth  
You've been spurned at fine restaurants and kicked out of church  
Got a couple of loaves sit down at my feet  
Lend me your ears and we'll break bread and eat  
Come all you weary  
Come gather round near me  
Find rest for your souls  
Come all you weary, you crippled you lame  
I'll help you along you can lay down your canes  
We've got a long way to go but we'll travel as friends  
The lights growing bright further on further in  
Come all you weary  
Come gather round near me  
Find rest for your souls  
Rest for your souls  
(Come all you weary, Thrice)_

_-_

Upon the return of any host club member from any visit to any place away from home for any period of time longer than forty eight hours, an exuberant greeting is always in order. Always.

Tamaki spent half an hour outside the front of the Ootori house, searching for a spare key that did not exist. The twins fortunately knew how to unlock a door with a credit card and thus ruined the Suoh's saving account.

Knocking was not decent for this sort of greeting.

The club burst into the house, Hunny taking off the fastest. "Kyo-chan!" He roared into the lounge and into the Shadow King's shoulders, leaping the couch in less than a bound. "Welcome home!"

Kyoya stared at the wall, a severely annoyed slash pained expression on his face. He sighed. "Thank you. Goodbye." What he would do for a secret police force to be on hand at that moment.

Yuuki paused their movie. She wasn't interested in _The Great Gatsby_ anyway. "Hello Hunny." She said lightly.

The little blonde smiled. The couple had been expecting the event and had gone downstairs to await the inevitable. "Yuu-chan! How are you?"  
"I'm good." She peeled the man off her husband and set him on his feet. "Wher..."  
"AH!" Tamaki appeared in the doorway, his arms spread out. "Kyoya! Welcome back from the greatest city on earth!"  
"If it's so great, why don't you move there?" The Ootori accepted the embrace sardonically.

"Because my life is here! And my friends. And my family. And my now expectant-again wife!" The blonde picked Haruhi up and spun her around a few times.

Yuuki looked at her socked feet and then neatly plastered on a brave face. "Who wants tea?" Everyone did. "Okay. I'll...go..." Tamaki was fawning over the slight bloat in his wife's belly. "...go do that...then." Pause "Okay." She nodded ever so slightly, smiled pleasantly and slipped out of the room.

When she reached the kitchen, it was all she could do not to hurl something across the room. Why not her? They already had a child. Why not her? The woman leant over the sink and breathed as the kettle gurgled a strange tune near her. Outside she could see the silhouette of the stable. It was dark. Just after dinner time. Yuuki remembered that she had once said she would never ask for more, if only she could have a horse. He would be her baby. It had been the selfish dream of a selfless child. And it meant nothing in the long run. It just proved that sometimes dreams came true for a reason and sometimes for no reason at all. Right now, she was living in the twilight of a good dream and a nightmare. Kyoya was with her. He loved her. But their child no longer was. Doctors say that the embryo is just a 'bunch of cells', but to a mother, it never is. It has a face, and fingers, toes, nails, brain function, nerve systems; a heart. It is a miniature human being. It is a human being. It's just not legal yet. Yuuki felt her stomach twist, she felt sick.

The kettle chimed and stopped its funny song. The girl glanced at it and slowly began to take the tea cups out of the cupboard. The twins appeared in the room and stood on either side of the Ootori.

"Hello Yuuki." Twin one.

"Do you need any help?" Twin two.

Yuuki looked at them. "Since when do you two offer help?"  
"We are hosts." They said in unison. "And as..."  
"No." She stopped them. "This is my house, thus I am the host."  
"Are you feeling alright?"  
"Yeah...yes. I have a headache."  
"Ah." Pause. "You sure?"  
"Yes." If she hadn't before, she soon developed one. "Um. If you want to help, please carry that out." She motioned the tray with the tea set on it. "I'll be out in a minute with the pot, milk and sugar." Yuuki put a hand on her forehead and sighed. She was suddenly very tired again.

"Ah. Stress." Twin one said, picking the tray up.

Twin two went for the fridge and pulled a carton of milk out. "It happens."

"Mmm." Came the weary reply.

"Especially when you're tryi..."  
"Okay. Enough." Yuuki snapped. "Just take the tea though. Please." Pause. "Thank you."

"No sleep?" Twin two said with a roguish smile.  
The girl stared at them, something in her expression made them back away slowly. Especially considering their previous experiences with not-so-happy Ootori's.

Even so, Yuuki heard them calling once they were back in the lounge. "Oi. Kyoya. You're wifey is unwell."

There was a muffled reply. When Kyoya appeared in the kitchen, his 'wifey' was indeed unwell. In the sink. He poured her a glass of water and offered it. "I'll get rid of them. Give them complimentary flower baskets if I have to. Go to bed."

"I'm alright. It's just...hormones." She exhaled. "Tamaki still trying to pull his brand new bundle of joy out of Haruhi's stomach?"  
"With vigour."  
"Oh joy."  
"Yuuki. I'm telling you, not asking. Go to bed." He took her empty glass and put it in the now rinsed out sink. Dinner had made its exit.

"No. Kyoya. I..."  
"Stop being so goddamned stubborn. Please, just once, do something without arguing?"  
Yuuki rubbed her eye. "I can handl..."

"No. You can't. Yuuki, you're strong but you're not that strong." Kyoya caught her wrist and pulled her hand away from her face. "You know I don't ask, but, please. Just...do this. For both of us."

The girl nodded silently. "Okay. I'm sorry."  
"Stop saying that. None of this is your fault."  
"I know...but, surely you hurt to?"  
Kyoya held her close for a moment. "Of course I do. Having Haruhi in the house isn't making things any better either."

"Why them? Why not us, Kyoya?"

"I don't know." If he said those three words, he really meant them. Just like the other three.

"I love you."  
The man kissed his wife's head. "I love you too. Enough to chastise you when you're being obdurate."  
"You're obdurate."  
Silence. "Yeah."  
"Yes." Yuuki corrected him.  
"Whatever." Pause. "Where are the tablets the doctor gave you?"  
"Some...place. I have no idea."

"As in, in the linen closet no idea? Or just, no idea?"  
Yuuki rubbed her nose guiltily. "The former."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Go take them. I'll tell the host club you're not well. Contagious with something I brought back on the plane."

"You did fly on a non-private flight."  
"I did."  
"Those darned air conditioners."

Her husband smiled, it quickly faded. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"It's not your fault." Yuuki replaced his smile with her own. Reassuring. If they both fell, then their whole world would to. It wasn't about him being the leader, but her being one too. Sharing the roles. Like geese when they fly in a V. "I mean...you didn't miscarry the baby." She'd accepted it. It had happened. It hurt. But it wasn't going to forever, not with Kyoya.

Haruhi took that moment to walk into the kitchen. Yuuki glanced up at her and then back at her husband before ducking her head and walking out the hall. It hurt enough to need to escape that situation.

The Suoh stared at the Ootori. Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I'm going to have to ask that we do this 'welcome home' party some other time."

Haruhi stared at the now vacant passage way. The dull sound of a door being opened carried as Yuuki pulled the linen door open and the pressed it shut again. "I...she was..." The woman pointed towards where her friend had disappeared.

"She was." Kyoya said coldly. His old manner returning swiftly. Especially in cases of displeasure.

"You can get pregnant again?" Haruhi was horrified. If that had happened to her... "You..."  
The Ootori sighed heavily and looked at the floor. "It was ectopic. No one had any idea until it ruptured. From a medical perspective, she's infertile." Even with two sides producing ova, a damaged fallopian tube damaged the chances of falling pregnant again greatly. The uterus would go into a 'state of shock' and the woman would often not attain a regular cycle for months after the pain, emotional and physical, had diminished. It had already taken almost a year the first time. Twelve months without conception legally deems a couple as infertile.

"Oh...Kyoya. I had no idea."  
"Well, apparently no one did." He walked past the Suoh and back into the lounge room to dismiss his guests.

-

_The flowers cut and brought inside  
Black cars in a single line  
Your family in suits and ties  
And you're free_

The ache I feel inside  
Is where the life has left your eyes  
I'm alone for our last goodbye  
But you're free

I remember you like yesterday  
Yesterday  
I still can't believe you're gone  
Oh I remember you like yesterday  
Yesterday  
And until I'm with you, I carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor  
I feel weightless numb and sore  
A part of you and me is torn  
You're free

I woke from a dream last night  
I dreamt that you were by my side  
Reminding me I still had life  
In me

I remember you like yesterday  
Yesterday  
I still can't believe you're gone  
Oh I remember you like yesterday  
Yesterday  
And until I'm with you, I carry on

I'll carry on, I'll carry on

Every lament is a love song  
Yesterday, yesterday  
I still can't believe you're gone

Every lament is a love song  
Yesterday, yesterday  
Oh so long my friend, so long

_(Yesterdays, Switchfoot)_

-

"Why, Kyo-chan?" Hunny had found the sugar and piled it high in his mug.

"Yuuki isn't well."  
"Will she be okay?"  
"Yes." She would be. He would be. Despite his never actually having had the relationship with the child that his wife had, it was still a part of him and it had died. Death was hard. Even when you were surrounded by life. Yuuki was his life, a little spark. It hadn't died in her eyes. It was still there, someone had just turned it onto mood lighting and turned it down a bit.

"It's that time of the month, isn't it?" Hikaru said.

For the first time in history, a man wished that it was. It would have meant she had healed enough inside. That the rupture had healed to allow for normality to begin. "No. It isn't."

Haruhi had already brought her husband to his feet and led him to the door. Her demeanour somewhat subdued by what she had overheard. "Come on boys, we can do this another time." She smiled.

"What? Why?" Tamaki looked at his best friend over his shoulder. "This is tradition!"

"Not tonight, Tamaki." Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose.

Mori sensed something was wrong and picked Hunny up and placed his cousin on his shoulders. "Welcome home, Kyoya."

The Ootori nodded his thanks at the dark figure.

"Ohhh!" Hikaru piqued up, sauntering near Kyoya he stated his revelation. "It's the other 'that time of the month'." He nudged his friend bawdily.

There was a line you just shouldn't cross and he crossed it. Kyoya hit him. "I've had enough of you and your brother making lewd jokes." The twin stared up from the floor. "It was never any of your business." His tone wasn't angry, but it could have melted the sun.  
"Yeah." Haruhi said, staring at the shocked Hikaru as he began to pick himself up off the floor. "Learn where the line is boys. I know you're men, but stop acting like children."

It was in that moment that the host club understood that Haruhi knew something they didn't. Kyoya knew she wouldn't tell them, not because she wanted to, but because she had to; out of respect. Even Kaoru seemed to understand even though he had been laughing all the way to impact.

Kyoya helped the other twin to his feet. "Go home. I appreciate the welcome, but now is not the time."

Hikaru stared, nodded and began to realise that which his friends already had. The Shadow King had more secrets than anyone had ever imagined. He had a personality that only one person knew about.

Kyoya had always been their leader, even to Tamaki. They depended on him. They always had. They looked to him for guidance. The time had come where he needed to rely on them to respect him and obey the orders they had trusted for so long.

The house was empty after a few minutes and a glance to Haruhi. She would keep her silence. Kyoya headed upstairs and found Yuuki sitting crossed legged on the covers, reading. She was wearing his black sweater again. "I congratulate you on doing what no man has done before, although, everyone wanted to." She smiled. "You hit Deedle Dee. I love you."

Her husband smiled back, honestly. She had a way of picking up a light strand in a dark situation. "He had a hard head." Her colour was a little better. The tablets were working.  
"Full of rocks." Pause. "Actually, ouch."

"I'm fine."  
"Hypocrite." She beckoned him over. "Let me see."

Kyoya sat beside her and handed his hand over as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "As much as I hate that I love them, I do. Their like..."  
"Children." Yuuki picked up. Her husband was going to get a bruise.

"Hm."  
The girl put her fingers under his chin and turned his head to look at her. "Kyoya, don't be unhappy."

The man looked his wife in the eye. "We're in mourning."

"I've come to realise that mourning isn't just sadness." She was there for him as he had been for her earlier. "Our little girl is in heaven. And we'll get to see her. One day. And she'll have you're pretty eyes and..."  
"You're cheekbones." He finished over her.

Yuuki kissed his knuckles. "I still feel ashamed about failing like I have, but, we can't be sad forever? I still have you...I can't spontaneously abort you, can I?" It was a very melancholy statement. "Its stressful. It is. But we've got through before. I remember the explosion in London and wondering how we would ever be the same. If we would ever love the same. But we did. And we adapted. And we loved better."

Kyoya took his glasses off and put them on the side table. "Yes."  
"But you're the Shadow King."

"Yes." He had responsibilities. One of those was husband, and he just hadn't been able to fulfil the role when he was needed. He didn't want to see something he helped build get destroyed, but he wanted to be there to make sure the vessel was alright. She was always alright. It was just her. Yuuki was like water, she remained the same; always gentle always smooth, but with the power to force a new path if trapped.

Yuuki closed her book. "Smile."  
Kyoya stared.  
"I wasn't asking." She put her fingers on the corners of her mouth and lifted. "There. Better."

The Ootori caught his wife's hands and kissed them both. "You are absolutely..." He couldn't work her out. He still couldn't work her out. He would never work her out. That's what had drawn him to her in the beginning, and it's what kept her special. "Remarkable."  
Yuuki kissed him. "No, just...surviving."

Kyoya pulled her into him and kissed her deeply. That's what they did in trouble. They survived. It was always easier to do so with a partner. A team mate. He pulled away and drew a line down the side of his wife's face. "Go to sleep." It also involved respecting the boundaries, even when there were none set. Yuuki needed to rest and she needed to heal, even when she was trying to heal him.

Yuuki pressed her forehead to his briefly before agreeing to his idea. They'd been there for each other earlier that afternoon, giving. Just loving when love had been lost. Refilling a hole only they fit into. Now, both of them needed the other, but just being there would do. As it had done years before.

Sometimes, all one needed to do was cry in the arms of someone they loved. Sometimes even leaders needed to crumble onto safe ground in order to rebuild stronger than before. And both they did.

-

_I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I ain't never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it  
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to  
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em_

_  
I'm supposed to set an example, But there's just a certain line you don't cross and he crossed it_

_It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'_

_All talkin' about something that I knew nothing about_

_But we still have soldiers that's on the front line  
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders  
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us  
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is_

_The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet  
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out  
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd  
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing  
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"_

_But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice  
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"_

_Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?  
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?  
When they know they're your heart  
And you know you were their armour  
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her_

_And there's hurtin because of somethin' we did  
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build?_

_I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh_

_I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry_

_Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?_

_We're all we got in this world_

_When it spins, when it swirls_

_When it whirls, when it twirls_

_Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream_

_But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is_

_But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep_

_And if you ask me too_

_I'mma give you the world_

_I'll do anything for you to see you smile_

_(Various, Eminem)  
_-

"Yes."  
"No."  
"Yes"  
"No."  
"Yuuki."  
"No."

It was one week later and Yuuki had just been offered another job with Chanel, only this time for a new fragrance. The last few offers, she'd refused. This time was no different. Kyoya wanted her to do it, she most defiantly did not.

"Yuuki. You need to move on."  
"So do you. You can't just shove me at a commercial. I'm not a model, I'm a psychologist."

"You're an Ootori." He leant on the wall causally.

"Do we want privacy?" She didn't let him answer. "Yes. What would being on TV do? Wow. Get rid of privacy. Surprise." To show she wasn't being harsh, the girl hid behind her coffee mug and watched her husband over the rim.

"Why don't you want to do it?"  
"For reasons already stated." Yuuki sat on a kitchen stool.  
"You say that about every offer."  
"How many offers do you receive a day." Thoughtful pause. "Don't answer that."

"I know how to pick an offer, Yuuki. This one is good."  
"No. No it's not."  
"It rather is. The publicity is good."  
"Why don't you climb into a little black dress and heels that give you vertigo then?"

Kyoya laughed silently at the way she said it. "It will get your confidence back up."  
"That's what this is about? Not publicity? You need to start telling me these things first."

"Why? Did it change your opinion?"  
"No." Pause. "My confidence is fine."  
"On a horse and with me."

"Well...it has reason not to be."  
Kyoya leant on the countertop and looked his wife in the eye. "Yuuki."  
She leant away and suddenly felt an instinctive urge to protect her coffee. "What...?"  
"I have to go to work..."  
Yuuki cut him off. "Yes. Totally. Because you don't have any money."  
"That's not why people work."  
"Last I checked..."  
"Yuuki."  
"Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Please, continue."  
"I have to go to work and we both know that if you go to the youth home, it's going to hurt you. There are other's there who can fill in for you. Now, if you do this commercial, not only will it get you're self esteem up, it will promote the Ootori group and show that you can still be stylish in marriage."  
"Kyoya..."  
"Don't whine."  
"Kyoya..."  
"What's the problem with it?"  
Pause. "I..." Yuuki's little stronghold of obstinate finally fell. "After what happened..." She didn't feel worth enough to do the commercial. Which is why her husband was pushing it. She was still ashamed, the physical pain had gone but the emotional had taken its place with a dull ache. It could have been a lot worse, but she'd married Kyoya and he was the only one who understood her enough to help her heal without getting demanding, pushy or overprotective.

"I can turn this into a business meeting." Came his familiar voice from behind her. He'd moved and wrapped his arms around her.

"No."

Kyoya kissed her temple.

"That's not very businesslike of you. Do you kiss you're subordinates?"

"You're not a subordinate."  
"No. I'm you're equal. So don't forget it."

"Even if you weren't, you'd be pushy enough to make it so."

There was a long pause. "I don't know...if I can. I know I have to move on, but I don't want to leave anything behind."  
"Like?"  
"Sayuri."  
Kyoya kissed her temple again. "I don't think you could leave her behind. Not unless you left me."  
"I won't leave you."

"And you can't leave yourself. Thus, she can never be dropped on the wayside."

"I still feel dishonoured."  
"I still hold to the fact that you couldn't have done anything. To be dishonoured would imply that you consciously make the decision. And you didn't."

"No...but..."

"No buts."  
"Yeah...no...ho..."  
"Yes."  
"Whatever." Yuuki smiled. "You're so..." Annoying? Stubborn? Calculating? Hard to decipher? "Good for me."

"I know." Kyoya said smugly before twisting the top of the stool so that she was facing him. "I promise not to hit anyone again, if you promise to do this." In other words, I promise to move forward with you. But only if you help me too. He would never ask for help, but Yuuki knew when it was needed.

Yuuki stared at him complacently. "It still hurts, Kyoya."  
"I know." If the world did nothing because it was going through pain, it would forever be doing nothing. But it knew when to stop dwelling on the hurt and when to get up and press on to get away from it.

"Of course you know. You're an Ootori."  
"So are you."  
"Woah. Yeah."  
"Yes."  
"Shut up." She kissed him. Every touch and every word up till that point had been to heal. Every touch and every word from that point on would be to stand up after grief and move on. To encourage and strengthen. They had become weak and needed the strength.

Kyoya kissed her back. Still fragile. In need of bubble wrap. He encircled his arms around his wife. As long as he kept needing her, she would keep needing him. They could survive on their own; they just chose to travel as a team.

-

Yuuki walked into the studio and flinched. The last time she'd done a shoot for Kyoya, he'd ended up in a car wreck. This time, he would end up a wreck. But not because of a break failure.

"YUUKI!" An exuberant director embraced her, harder than Tamaki, but with just as much spontaneity. "Darling. You look well. Long time no see."  
"Hello." She couldn't remember his name. She'd met so many people. All of whom didn't have names.

"So." He guided her to a nearby chair and set her in it. A woman attacked her with a make-up sponge. "What have you been up to? You're not riding professionally much anymore."

"I work at a youth house."  
"As in...for the mentally deranged, drug addicted, homeless youth?"

Yuuki paused. "Um...yes. I guess so."  
"Brave woman."

"It's good to help those who can't help themselves." Truth was, no one could help themselves. The only way one could, was by getting help from another source.

"Is that the one with the abortion clinic? The one in the news?"  
Yuuki looked at the man. "No." She said flatly. "It's not."

"Oh. Well. That doesn't matter. Anyway." He clapped. "Today." The man launched into a detailed explanation of what the girl had to do, mentioned how much she was getting paid, told her what she was wearing and then explained the general mood. "You're a broken soul, but you find healing in this." He whisked out a bottle of perfume. "Repentance."

"Ah. Repentance." Yuuki was sorry for what had happened, but she didn't know if it wouldn't happen again. If at all. She was scared. Scared of getting pregnant again, she didn't know if she could do it. "I thought you numbered all you're fragrances."  
The man laughed and then disappeared, calling for coffee. The Ootori decided then and there that she was going to kill Kyoya. She decided to call him.

"_Ootori."_

"I know."  
_"Hello."_

"You're dead. Dead. As in D-E-A-D." The make-up artist smiled slightly. The director had that effect on a lot of the models. "As in...I'm not a model. I'm your wife."

"_And you're beautiful."_

"No. No. Don't c...ow." A hairdresser tugged a little too hard.

"_It's good for you."_

Pause.

"_Yuuki, I can't see you scowling at me."_

"Just picture it."  
_"Will do."_ Kyoya seemed a little distracted. _"What's the problem?"_

"The fragrance is called Repentance."

"_Mmm..."  
_"Kyoya. Stop whatever you're doing."

"_Sorry. What?"  
_"Yes. I thought so."

"_No. I heard you. What's wrong with that name?"_

"Well, besides the face I can't do it regarding the reasons you sent me here."  
_"Why are you repenting?"_

"Because, I feel remorse."

"_That's better than guilt."  
_"Kyoya..."  
_"Yuuki. We both need to understand that none of us has anything that needs forgiving. Except for my not being there."  
_"That's not your fault."  
_"I'm still sorry."  
_"Why can't you see that sort of thing from my perspective? I'm sorry."

"_Because it happened? Or because it happened to you?"_

"Both."  
_"Well, the latter doesn't apply. You didn't know."_

"Kyoya. No. I don't want to do this. It's only been a week. It still hurts too much."

"_The world isn't going to wait for your sorrows."_

"You know how to do this. You spent your whole life fighting things and moving through stress."

"_You think I'm not still in mourning too?"_

"I know."

"_But I've got you. It's enough. I might be the sort of person that always wants more, but you always give me more. Even when we lost a lot." _

"Okay."

"_Let me be the same for you."_

"You have a 'y' chromosome."

"_And yet you're the one who questions everything."_

"That's not funny." Pause. "You're a guy. You see things differently. It's just fact. I can explain it to you in intimate detail, but I'm not going to because you drafted that report." She saw things differently to him. Men and women handled things differently even if they felt the same. Her way of doing it helped him, his way of doing it helped her; but it was not their way. He listened, she analysed.

"_Alright. How about tonight I make it up to you?"  
_"As in...you want me to stay?"

"_Yes."_

"I don't want to go out."

"_Neither do I."_

Pause. "You're such a guy."  
_"Well. It would explain many things."_

"I still want to cry a bit."

"_You still need to cry a bit."_

"Yeah..."

"_Ye..."_

Yuuki quickly spoke over his correction. "Whatever."

_I'll see you when I get home."_

"Okay."

"_I love you, Yuuki."_

"You don't always need to be so brave."  
_"But I'm not."_

"Okay. I'll keep my brave face on for a few more hours."  
_"Okay. See you soon."  
_"Yep."  
_"Yes."_

"I don't care." She sang and hung up.

Kyoya leant back in his chair and laughed monosyllabically to himself. He would never get bored with her. He would never fall down either. She might feel like the weakest link in the relationship, but she wasn't. She just gave him the ability to get through. Just as he gave her the opportunity to talk when she had always found it so hard to open up. That's what it was about, making up for the short comings of the other.

"_Sir?"_ The phone on his desk was brought to life. _"The Health Minister is on Line One."_

Kyoya pressed the intercom. "Thank you; put him through."

"_Yes, sir."  
_The Ootori picked up the phone and became his father's son for the rest of the afternoon. Yuuki picked up a pair of black shoes and became her husband's wife for a few hours. Life went on. If you stood and pretended it wouldn't for long enough, eventually you'd get left behind. It was okay to hit the pause button in private, but rotation needed to keep happening otherwise the pit of sorrow would forever deepen and be harder to get out of. They had learnt that. They had learnt to dig out. It worked better when they did it together, it happened faster. They healed quicker and made sure it meant something. Everything happened for a reason.

-

Late that night, the song _Put your Hands up for Detroit_ blasted from the sideboard followed by a sashaying of techno music. A mobile vibrated happily.

Yuuki groaned and pressed her face into Kyoya's neck. He was still asleep. Amazingly. She'd picked that ringtone because it would bug him too. The girl let it ring off and then began to settle again.

_Canon in D_ vibrated from the other side of the bed. This time the man woke up and growled.

His wife reached across and looked at caller ID. Out of annoyance, she threw the mobile across the room. Kyoya grabbed her hand before she could.

"I need that phone."

Yuuki hung up on the number. "I need sleep." She settled the phone back in its place just as hers went off again.

Kyoya grabbed it. "What?" He snapped down the line. "No. This isn't Yuuki. No Tamaki, it's the Pope. No. No. I was being sarcastic."

The girl pried the device from angry fingers and held it to her ear. "Tamaki, what?"  
_"Wow. Kyoya. You sound different all of a sudden."_

"This is Yuuki."  
_"Oh. That makes sense!"_

"Surprise." She said stoically.

Kyoya collapsed onto his back beside her and hissed in protest.

"What do you want Tamaki?"  
_"I'm at the supermarket...."_

Yuuki looked at the time on her mobile before putting it back to her ear. "Do you know what time it is?"

"_Yes. Did you break your watch?"  
_"No...I...never mind." Pause. "Why did you ring so incessantly?"

"_Haruhi has cravings."  
_"Oh...cravings..."

"_Yes. And I don't know what to get. She said...chocolate and coffee...but like...together. The commoners have a word for it, but I forgot."_

"You called...just to get an opinion on groceries?"

Kyoya growled again.

"_Yes. Help me!" _

"Well...oh my gosh, Tamaki." Yuuki ran a hand through her hair. He was talking to her about a pregnant woman. When she couldn't be.

"_What?"_

"Just buy her mocha or something. I don't freaking care right now." She hung up on him. His wife's cravings were none of her business. She didn't even want to know. Especially considering the fact she would probably never have cravings. Her phone went off again. "WHAT?"

"_I think there's a bad signal here."_

"Really."  
Yuuki hung up again and turned her phone off and ran a hand through her hair. "I hate your friends."

Kyoya groaned as his phone went off again. He threw it across the room. He didn't care how much he needed it. The thud and shatter were very satisfying noises. "Don't call them my friends."

"Companions."  
"Annoyances."  
"That works." She was awake now. "Tired?"  
"No." Came the thickly sarcastic reply.

Yuuki laughed. "You're such a grouch."

"Hnnnnn"

The girl smiled as her husband rolled over onto his stomach and pulled the covers with him. Yuuki pulled them back and lay down. There was a long silence as she stared at the roof. "Kyoya?"  
"Mmmmmmmmm..."

"If I ever get cravings, will you go to the store in the middle of the night?"

The man rolled over and dragged himself painfully out of sleep. "Is that why he was shopping?"

"Yes."  
"You're more articulate when you're sleepy."

"I'm not sleepy."

Pause. "Of course I'd go."

Yuuki laughed monosyllabically. "And die in a car accident because you'd only wake up somewhere along the way."

Kyoya stared at the ceiling, smiling smugly. "It's quite the possibility."

"I won't...ever get cravings...will I?"

"Not yet." They weren't going to try again. It would take months before Yuuki had healed enough inside to go back to a normal cycle. Even then, she might never be able to conceive.

"No. Obviously. But..." There was a lingering silence. She knew, she just didn't want to admit it yet. It would be like a double whammy. To lose a child and then the ability to naturally have one.

Kyoya pulled her close. The act meant more than anything he could have said. Yuuki kissed the corner of his mouth tenderly. It spoke a silent thanks. The man turned slightly and caught her mouth properly. He traced the line of her neck. His wife didn't waver. They needed each other, not necessarily in a physical way; but sometimes that was a way to display emotion, to provide when words were too raw. It was a way to feel hurt and experience joy at the same time. To be overwhelmed by something indescribable. To display your support. Sometimes it was necessary to use words. Sometime it was necessary to just love and be loved in return. Life overlapped, there were no distinct boundaries. Thus, hurt and love overlapped. To love another person is to see the face of God; if it had worked for Les Miserables, the miserable ones, then it would work for them too.

-

_It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
Without saying a word you can light up the dark  
Try as I may I can never explain  
What I hear when you don't say a thing_

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
You say it best, when you say nothing at all

_  
All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
But when you hold me near  
You drown out the crowd  
Try as they may, they can never defy  
What's been said between your heart and mine_

The smile on your face let me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
You say it best, when you say nothing at all

Oh, the smile on your face let's I know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall  
You say it best, when you say nothing at all  
(You say it best when you say nothing at all, Ronan Keating)

-

Zero was fast. Exceptionally so. Yuuki loved to ride him without restraint. Especially when she had to let go of something and didn't know how to. There was something about the way the wind made her hair sting her neck when it flailed in the current and the way her legs burned from the effort of staying out of the saddle for so long. Of course, one could sit a gallop, but if you rise and can keep balance and equilibrium with the horse's movement, then it's just like having the earth spin beneath you while you perch above a statue. Zero liked it to. But he was full of himself. So of course he did.

Kyoya stood in the kitchen and watched his wife race across the flat at the bottom of the garden. It made the perfect fitness track, she had told him, it was long and flat and the ground was almost always soft. Which he thought was a good thing as it was only a matter of time before she came off.

Tachi hated her riding as she was that morning. Said it ruined her discipline. But Yuuki had lived a disciplined life. Early wake up. Strict diet. Strict exercise. Strict schedule. Heavy falls. No sympathy for bruises, some for broken bones, full compassion only in the case of a serious drop out of the saddle. She had had a small, almost non-existent social life. But she had loved it. To some extent. Riding was her escape. And Yuuki needed an escape. There was only so much he could do. Of course, you needed help to help yourself; but you also needed yourself.

Kyoya did that with his work. He was one of few men who considered work an enjoyment. He was good at it and it worked with the way his mind did. Just like his wife though, he had been raised to be that way. They had been raised and socialised to love what they now did. The only thing that wasn't like that, was the other. In fact, they were socialised to love the opposite. Yuuki was supposed to marry someone in the equestrian or business agriculture circles. Kyoya was supposed to marry someone who did something more ladylike than wrap her legs around half a tonne of horse flesh and throw herself over six foot of jump. But it worked. It wasn't an opposites attract thing, just an attraction. The Ootori remembered when he first saw the girl. She was hiding in a tack-room, refusing to let him borrow her horse. He must have been to her, the man who was trying to take her horse and let it get ridden by a bimbo ogling Tamaki. But those were their worlds. There were no others. Until she fell off. Then they were thrown together, just for an instant. Of which, she had concussion for most of. But after that, they became almost inseparable. To the other they were a mystery. Always had been, always would be. Then it just happened. Like industry magnets, nothing could pull them apart. Nothing except the other, and even then, the draw to the other was so strong that it was painful to endure the fight to stay apart.

Yuuki was unconventional. Kyoya was conventional. But neither were extreme versions of so. She was right wing, he was left, but only just off centre. You can be different to make a relationship; you just can't be someone else. If you're someone else, then you're no one. It's a hard truth. The only person in the entire world that is available for you to be, is you. Kyoya had spent a long time fighting that ideology. A long time. He was his father's son. The third son. Holding back to allow his brother to become heir. But then he just did what he did best, and became the first son. Yuuki had fought the trend. She wanted to be her mother. But she also wanted to study and be really good at something other than riding. Her hobby should never have been her occupation. But it is. It was. And probably always would be. She was good. Exceptional. But she was good at many other things too, she just never saw it.

And then, they got pregnant. They got pregnant. They created life. They created an extension of themselves. They created a complete version of everything they were together, and they loved it. They loved it before it was born. They loved it even after it had died. It hurt. But friendship is the best balm for pain. He was her balm and she his. Another word for spouse, should be best friend. They do everything a friend does, only with a different sort of love and a deeper intimacy.

Yuuki rode Zero right up to the porch where her husband was standing. "Want a go?"

"No." He said flatly.

"It's fun." She said, slightly out of breath. "And he's not so...uncontrollable now."  
"Why would I ride something that's out of control?"  
"Oh. No one can tell. Just hang on and let him flatten his energy supply."

"I'll keep that in mind next time I see you flying around the garden."

"Get up."  
"No."

"Get up."  
"No."  
"You can sit behind me. It's an all purpose saddle. If it was a stock, I wouldn't be asking." She'd set him up.

"Yuuki. I'm not riding."  
"You can ride. I know. I asked Tamaki." Yuuki was obviously less wound up. It was early afternoon. She was staring at him, the sun on her hair, her eyes pleading. "Please? You'll love it."  
"I don't like riding."  
"You like me though. Get up."  
"I'm not wearing shoes."

"Geez. Men these days. You wonder if they have testosterone at all." Pause. "You won't be the one using the stirrups." "What will I be doing?"  
"You can hold the reins."  
"You steer with your feet."  
Yuuki smiled. She'd be in control. "Get on."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and sighed. There was only one person in the world who could make him do something like that which he was about to. He sat behind his wife and she gave him the reins before turning Zero with her legs. He wasn't happy about the extra weight but wasn't complaining. He loved being ridden.

"See?" The girl petted his neck. "He's not so awful."  
"What?" Kyoya thought she was talking to him.

Yuuki turned. "Not you. You have a hater."  
"A hater?"  
"Zero hates you."  
He scowled. Then why was he on him?

"Comfortable?"  
"No."  
"Don't lift your hands. You'll take me out. Just keep them there."

Now that, he didn't mind. She was pressed against him, trapped by his arms.

"Okay." Yuuki walked them to the flat. "See? Spontaneity is great."

"Amazing." Came the sardonic reply. "You seem happier."  
"I am. My two loves."  
"I compete with a horse?"  
Pause. "Yes."  
"Oh. Good."

"One hour on horseback is better than a year in psychology."  
"Don't say that too loud. You'll be out of business."  
Yuuki turned her shoulders and kissed her husband gently. "Relax." She urged her horse on. Straight from walk to canter to avoid the discomfort of two people at a trot on the same horse. "You okay?"  
"Dandy."  
"You know, in an ideal world, men would ride side-saddle. Think about that."

"No. That makes a lot of sense." Kyoya could picture his wife smiling as she kicked to a full gallop.

"Relax." She said, gripping her horse's mane. "You won't fall off." She wouldn't let him. Ever.

He believed her. Zero snorted beneath them and flicked his ears forward. The horse knew what a joy ride was.

"What's he doing?" Kyoya asked over the wind. Zero was pulling on the bit, arching his neck and driving forward with his head.

"Enjoying himself." Yuuki pressed her back into her husband, helping him move with the horse and not on top of it. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

The man paused. His wife was happy. She was in his arms. "Yes."

"Was that that new thing called sarcasm?"  
"No." How she got more than a sentence out when riding was a marvel. There was so much to think about. Like...balance for example. This was not Kyoya's environment, but he liked seeing Yuuki alright. He liked that she was still with him and still her. Despite the dull ache that surrounded them. It was like a fog, just after a storm. It cleared, but was never totally understood. She would always blame herself. He would always feel awful for being away. But they would both be happy because the other was still with them. Just as they should be.

Yuuki turned Zero up towards the yard and stable and slowed him to a walk. "You can let go now. I've got it." Kyoya let the reins fall and rested his hands against her stomach. Just her. No one else. He felt her fingers wrap around his wrist. She used her other hand to brush the hair off her face. "Thank you." The words were quiet, sweet.

The man kissed her neck. "No. Thank you."

"You want to help me unsaddle him?"  
Pause. No. "I can hire someone to do that for you."  
Yuuki laughed. "It helps you build a relationship. You spend hours in the stable talking to your mount."  
An hour later, the pair were walking back to the house together. Tamaki and Co. were coming over for the postponed 'welcome back' after party. They just didn't know what they were welcoming back. Yuuki and Kyoya knew. They were welcoming their world back into the real world. The final stage of its healing. The ability to see another pregnant woman and not want to tell her to leave, to not feel remorse, to not ask why. They were being welcomed back into the world.

They were not ready to have a child again. But nothing said they couldn't want one anymore. Maybe one day. Maybe.

-

_Breathe easy  
Breathe easy_

Take another breath  
Take a little time  
And you'll find  
I'm fighting for you  
Take another breath  
Take a little time  
And you'll decide  
I'm fighting for you

Taken by the sounds  
Of your world's doubt  
You turn off  
And try to play life out  
And I don't want you  
To feel alone again  
But you'll find yourself  
Watching me fighting for you

_(Fighting for you, Detour 180)_

_-_

-----

_So, post time is down. I'm sorry. Every day is too much when I have work to do. I hope that's alright. _

_Please, review. I'd really appreciate it. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	32. Chapter 30

-

**Chapter 30**

**-**

Kyoya was laying, stomach down, on the bed. Typing. It was early evening and he had work to do. The sounds of the shower carried through the ever so slightly ajar door and brought with them a warm smell of rose. The was a short cry of pain from inside.

The man pushed up his glasses. "Yuuki, stop using my stuff."  
"You're not my brother." Came the echoed reply.

"That razor is made for faces, not legs." Pause. "I'm not taking you to hospital for blood loss. Please desist."

There was a long silence. A very long silence. "Okay. I've desisted."  
"I meant before you finished."  
"Well, you should have said so." Yuuki's head appeared out the door so she could look at him. "Darn." She disappeared again. He was wearing the black sweater. She reappeared in a towel and then vanished again, this time into the closet.

Kyoya glanced up, an unreadable expression on his face, before turning back to his work. His wife was defiantly interesting. "Don't touch it."  
Her head popped out from the walk-in robe. "Please specify."  
"The blue one, the cream one, the brown one, the grey one, the red one, the beige one, if I own something pink, then that too. And I mean all forms of these colours. No mixes, no middle colours, no multicolour's..."

She came out wearing a green button up and her sleeping shorts and sat beside him. "You never said green." Smug pause. "This is because I gave you two minute noodles for dinner, isn't it?"  
"No." Kyoya smiled anyway. She'd burnt whatever it was she was originally cooking to the point of non-recognition. "This is because I have to order a stockpile of stuff I'll have to end up selling." Big party. Big function. Lots of rich people.

"Huh." Yuuki lay on her stomach beside him and let her head fall on his shoulder. "That one." She pointed at the screen. With the sleeve covering her forefinger, it was impossible to tell which one 'that one' was. She pulled it back and tried again.

"The colour scheme is black and white. It's a masquerade."

"Yes, but the mask is of any colour. It makes a really cool effect. If you have totally black and white ornaments, then it just defies the point."  
"The point of a masquerade is to be someone no one knows you are, just for one night."

"So...you're going to be like this for one night, in public?"  
"No. I'm the host. It's my duty to be the host and nothing more."  
"Good. I wanted to hide behind my mask too."

Pause. "Where would you put that one?"  
"Well...if it's spilling flowers, like it is, then the doorway. Maybe even before the bathroom. Just a splash of colour in a place no one is actually looking at but is always looking for."

"Huh." It seemed to be a good idea.

Yuuki reached back and pulled her book of the bedside table. When she came back, she put it in the middle of her husband's shoulders and used them as leverage to read off.

Kyoya paused. Slightly displeased. "What are you doing?"  
"Reading."  
"My back isn't a table."  
"No. It's just at the right place, right level...hold on..." She grabbed a pillow and put it under her elbows. "Perfect."  
Kyoya stared at the wall for a second. His expression stoic. "Glad to be of service."  
"Thank you." Yuuki smiled. Outside, it was snowing again. They had been married four years that September. They were still young. Very young. The age most people get married at, let alone celebrate an anniversary for. But it was perfect. For them anyway.

Their youth had caused scandal in the upper classes. People had bet on how long it would last. Little did they know, she and Kyoya had lived and experienced more than any of them would in fifty years. Physically, they had been young. Mentally, they could have destroyed empires as occupation, not fantasy. They had both skipped the rebellious, drinking, partying faze. They had both started university and got accelerated courses to end before their peers. Kyoya had even inherited one of the largest Business Group in the world before his twenty fifth birthday. And they'd already tried for kids. They wanted children. And it hurt not being able to have them. But they had time, fortunately, they had time. A lot of time. Even so, age didn't matter much. They'd said eternity and they'd both meant it. Forever and a day. They were not the sort who would get married twice, have big anniversary parties; once publically was enough. They were private people and found private enjoyment in the other. More than any party would provide. Most people found it odd. They saw the couple as boring. But they were hardly such. They were poignant. Something the world was deprived of.

Yuuki ran her thumb over the bottom of her wedding band and engagement ring. "Hey, Kyoya?"  
"Mmm..." Typing.

"Are we really young?"

He paused and thought a moment. "I guess so. But so are our friends."  
"So...Mori and Hunny and the twins not being attached or reproducing is normal?"  
"Perfectly."  
"And us...?"  
"Normal for us. We did what was perfect for us."

"Okay."  
Curious silence. "Why?"  
"Just contemplating the gossip of a magazine I read in the grocery line."  
"Mmm?"  
"You and I were photographed, hand in hand, leaving the ballet last weekend."

"Ah. And?" Still typing.

"They called it 'young love' and 'spontaneous marital bliss'."

"There was nothing spontaneous about it."  
"No. You lack that gene entirely."  
"Did it bother you?"  
"No. I was just thinking about it. How, we're one of the very few who can marry young and make it old."  
"We're not dead yet."  
"Yes. But I'm not dying anywhere except in your arms."  
"That's....ever so slightly macabre."

Yuuki laughed quietly. "If love has power, then it will take us away together. When we're old and wrinkly." She looked at her fingers and held them out beside him, not obstructing his view but letting him see them. "You'll adore me when I look like that?" The skin was slightly wrinkled from the shower.

"I adore you and you look like that right now." He looked away from the offered phalanges.

Yuuki did something unprecedented and unladylike. She balanced herself on his back spontaneously and rested her chin on his shoulder. Just to be closer without impeding his work. "Am I crushing you?"  
"Of course." He said sarcastically. It was more a stable, firm hug. He liked it. It was steady. Just like them.

"You can breathe?"  
"Yes, Yuuki. You don't weigh enough to crush anyone."

"No...my feet don't even reach yours." She glanced back. They stopped just above his ankles, which was partly cause to their position.

Kyoya bent his knees and lifted his feet into the air; in a manner only a young person could, allowing his wife to wrap her feet around his calf. "Better?"  
"Uhuh." She was watching what he was doing. There was a long silence as they just lay together. Kyoya worked. Yuuki read. "Mm." Something caught her eye. "Get that."

"I was about to."

"In red."  
"Why red?"  
"The flowers you got earlier are red."  
"They were blood red. This is cherry red."  
"Can you actually pick the difference?"  
"Yes."  
"That was a stupid question."  
Kyoya smirked. "What about a red and gold set?"  
Pause. "I like that."

"Mmm...me too." He wouldn't have considered it if she hadn't asked. "What are you reading?" Kyoya purchased the last thing.  
"Pride and Prejudice."  
"Again?"  
"I'm just meditating upon the very great pleasure that a pair of fine eyes in a pretty face can bestow." She loved Kyoya's eyes. Like smoke, a veil to something deeper and an indication of fire.

Marvin powered down and went to sleep. The Ootori went to put his laptop away but knew he would have to move. Yuuki silently unwrapped her feet and rolled onto her back, her book raised above her head. Her husband put the device in the drawer beside the bed. "What's happening?"  
"Mr Collins. That's what."  
"There's one in every family."  
"Except yours and mine." Yuuki said haughtily. She turned her head to look at Kyoya. "My dear Mr Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last!?" She mocked Mrs Bennet and pulled a face.

Kyoya smiled. "He replied that he had not."  
"How on earth do you know how to quote Austen?"  
"How do I know the difference between blood red and cherry red?"  
"Oh yeah. You're immaculate breeding."

"You mean, oh _yes_, you're immaculate breeding."  
Yuuki closed the book and hit him lightly with it. "Whatever."

Kyoya took the novel and put it in the drawer with his laptop.

His wife was sorely offended. "A plague on both your houses!" She quoted Shakespeare.

"If you just plagued both our houses..." Kyoya let the sentence hang so she could work out who she had just cursed.

Yuuki scowled at him, she was smiling, it didn't work. "Just give me back my book. And say sorry."  
He didn't. He just pulled her down to him and kissed her. She accepted it as sorry and kissed him back. Sometimes his novel ideas were just...novel. And one could always forgive for a good idea.

-

_Whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am home again  
whenever I'm alone with you  
You make me feel like I am whole again_

However far away, I will always love you  
However long I stay, I will always love you  
Whatever words I say, I will always love you  
I will always love you

whenever I'm alone with you  
you make me feel like I am free again  
whenever I'm alone with you  
you make me feel like I am clean again

_(Love song, Anberlin)_

_-_

Tamaki seemed to love having two children. One in diapers and one just learning to run. The blonde chased his daughter around the patio while his wife bounced their son. His name was Kenji and he had his mothers smile and his father's easy nature.

"Hello baby." Yuuki lifted the boy by his armpits and sat him on her lap. "You look like you're dad."  
"Ah!" Tamaki caught Aimi. "Handsome huh?" The girl giggled. She was forever laughing.

"I wouldn't push it that far." Kyoya pushed his glasses up and crossed his legs casually.

Haruhi hadn't told her husband about their friend's miscarriage. They had wanted to keep it private and she wouldn't have even known if she hadn't gone looking to see if Yuuki was alright that evening. "This one doesn't sleep." She smiled at her friend as she blew a thin line of air into the boy's tuft of dark hair. He tried to clap, but wasn't that developed yet. Six months only. All he could really do was sit up.

"Was Aimi good?"  
"Aimi is going to be an awful teenager. All she does is sleep."

Yuuki laughed. "That's a normal teenager."

"Yeah...well..." Haruhi looked tired. "He'll get better. Kenji has a cold, so don't hold him to close."  
As if on cue, the boy sneezed. His whole body shook and he gave himself a fright. His eyes went wide and his face displayed his shock. Yuuki, still not completely fond of children, held him an arm's length away.

Haruhi took her son back. "Don't worry, it's just a baby cold. You shouldn't catch it."

"But my baby might." Suki arrived with Jasmine. The little girl shot off to Aimi and pulled Tamaki's shirt until he put her down to play.

"Eager." The blonde said, setting his daughter down. He knelt in front of Aimi. "Now, stairs are for...walking down? Right?"  
The little girl put a hand over her mouth and looked embarrassed.

"We don't fly down stairs. If you want to fly, ask daddy. Okay?"

Aimi nodded and then laughed before grabbing Jasmines hand and running into the house where her new dollhouse was set up.

Suki laughed. "She tested gravity?"  
"Mmmm." Tamaki smiled as he watched his child hand her friend her newest doll to play with. They were raising her well. "Jumped off the stairs after watching Peter Pan."

"Oh...I did that once." Yuuki said flatly. "Except, I was four and I'd just seen Batman. Even though Batman can't actually fly..."

"Yes, well, she's two and obviously more advanced that you are." Suki said, sitting down. "Where's that little blonde boy?" The twins were in the lounge, playing dolls with Aimi. Mori and Hunny had gone overseas with their families.  
"Hunny?" Haruhi sipped her tea.

"Yeah...I know he's you're ageish, but seriously. That's the sort of kid you want Aimi falling for. At the moment anyway. Safe, fun, kind, sweet..." She laughed. "If she's testing gravity, surely she's testing love."  
Tamaki leant on the chair his wife was sitting in. "Well, all you two..." He nodded at the Ootori couple. "...need to do, is have a daughter. Then Kenji is set to go in the prince department."  
"Oh. Hook-ups already." Yuuki said, her tone lost a little of its brightness.

"Ah." Tamaki ran a hand through his hair. "Well. We are the Host Club."  
"Uhuh." The Ootori, female, leant back. "Because that was romance at its finest."  
"Oh! But it was!" The blonde was very suddenly inches from Yuuki's face. The girl got a small fright. "We sought to make ladies happy, and surely that is the core to romance? Is it not?"

"Umm...Tamaki..." It was like her first day at Ouran, only closer.

"Of course, we all saw it differently to how you do. Even you're husband saw it differently. Kyoya only got into the actual 'host' scene after you left. Not the sort we condone, rather the opposite. With raised eyebrows. But he was so broken..."

Yuuki glanced sideways. Her husband had paused, his demeanour closed. "Oh?"  
"Why, there was a lovely girl, the daughter of the French Ambassador, Rose. Ah. She was beautiful. Remember her Kyoya?" To Tamaki, doting on other women was just a habit. Haruhi knew he didn't love any of them, he just wanted to make them happy. But he didn't realise that his way wasn't the only way.

"Yes." Kyoya pushed his glasses up, his expression cold, his tone very hard. "But that is in the past." And a time of life he would rather forget.

Yuuki glanced at him again. "You never told me about...Rose?" She tested the name. It felt bitter. There had been another woman?  
"Now is not the time."  
Tamaki looked between them. "You never told her about Rose?" He turned to Yuuki. "Oh, it's such a tragic story. When you left he just...disappeared. Metaphorically of course. He was still there, just detached. There was a business meeting in France and he was so blind, so lost, that when he..."

"Okay. Tamaki." Kyoya stood up and picked his friend up off his wife. "Not right now."

Yuuki stared at him. "So you went to France and had a fling with a rich girl while I was gone?" He had been confused and hurt. So...it was alright? Still, the girl felt her throat close up a bit. He hadn't loved the other girl. Had he?

A small laugh came from the door. Hikaru and Kaoru leant on the frame. "Fling is probably not the right term."

The girl glanced at her husband he still had Tamaki by the collar. His whole demeanour was dominant, menacing.

He could do nothing about the twins though. "They knew each other in a...how would you say....uh...intimate manner." They finished with roguish grins.

Yuuki's heart stopped for a second."I'm sorry. What?"Suki had disappeared with Haruhi to their daughters. Her friends knew. She didn't know. She turned her gaze on Kyoya. Of course the guys saw nothing wrong with it; he had been single at the time. She had been hurting over him, wanting to see him. And he'd gone off with some other girl.

"It was so long ago. You were out of the picture." Came the twin's reply, in unison. "I wouldn't dwell on it. I mean..._you_ flew out on _him._ Did you expect him to have a pity party forever? He can miss you and try to move on. Duh._"_

Tamaki put a hand on his forehead dramatically. "But oh! How Kyoya pined for you!"

"Yeah. He pined greatly." Yuuki growled. The girl stood up, glared at her husband and walked inside; she grabbed her bag off the counter and the car keys, before saying a curt farewell to her female friends and slamming the front door.

When she got in the car, Yuuki realised she had no idea how to drive a manual. At all. There were three pedals. And a weird stick thing in the middle. In frustration, confusion and anger, she threw the keys in the passenger seat and marched straight into the side door of the Suoh garage. There were three sets of keys hanging on the wall. The first had a Porsche symbol on it, so she ignored that. The second was a Jeep; she'd had bad experiences with that. The last was a VW golf.

Yuuki paused a moment. She didn't know whether to be mad or hurt. He'd told her that the year she was gone was the worst of his life. Apparently there were a few high points to it though. Getting to know the French Ambassadors daughter in a biblical sense was not really a sign of his yearning for her. Sure, he'd probably known someone before he met her. He'd 'taught Haruhi a lesson' in the most frank of manners. But she hadn't known him them. They hadn't met then. Thinking about it made her uncomfortable. Yuuki didn't know if she was happy with that either. He was her husband and having him with another woman caused a strange emotion to flare up inside her. Something between anger, hurt and jealously. And betrayal.

The girl climbed into the little car and slammed the door. There was a remote to open the garage. When the world came back into view, four familiar looking men were standing around the Mercedes. She'd somehow managed to lock the key's inside and baffle them as to her whereabouts.

Yuuki looked at her feet. Pedal on the right. Maybe. She tried it. The car lurched forward. She slammed on the brakes. That got their attention. The girl put the window down.  
"If I crash it, get the smart man to buy you another." Pause. "With interest. Maybe he could throw in a couple rich girls to. Just to pass the time while you pine your losses."

With that, she floored the car, got a fright, didn't stop, took out a giant pot and disappeared through the gates.

Within five minutes, there was a black Mercedes beside the VW. Kyoya had the window down. "Yuuki!"  
She kept the window shut, she could still hear him. She had to think a bit.

"Yuuki! Wrong side of the road!" No wonder he was driving normally beside her.

The girl hit the brakes. Hard. She almost took herself out with the seatbelt. Kyoya's car kept going on the empty road. Slowed properly and then stopped. Yuuki stared at it. Wondered how to reverse. Floored it past the black car and pulled into the lane in front of it. There is one thing everyone should know about VW Golf's. Their zippy. And fast. A Mercedes often handles like a brick but it has longer legs. Kyoya followed at a distance, probably to make sure his wife didn't kill herself accidentally. There were a few hairy moments; like when she ran a stop sign and almost got side swiped by another vehicle, when she fish tailed taking a corner to sharply and when she broke the speed limit in every single area. Yuuki couldn't drive. What she was doing was more like a strange balancing act.

Thankfully, she went straight home.

Kyoya stopped his car on the corner and clenched his fist in frustration. Tamaki and the twins each had big mouths. He'd met Rose while in Paris, he and her father had been discussing the efficiency of Ootori medical equipment. The French had been trailing it and had decided to buy. The Ambassadors daughter was tall, blonde, curvy and flirty. The complete opposite of Yuuki. He had pleasantly spoken to her, gone to the orchestra with her and her father...just played Host. Nothing more. Her name was too familiar to a scent he missed. Despite his business demeanour, Kyoya had developed feelings and hadn't lost them. He also hurt for the person who had put them there. Rose had followed him back to Japan.

The man looked up and saw Yuuki fighting with the front door. The keys to the house were with his car keys. He watched as his wife found an open window and pushed it wide enough for her to fit through. She climbed into the house and shut the window with a bang before closing the curtains. She'd seen the car.

Of course she was upset. He'd have been upset if she'd had a 'fling' with some guy in London. Rose hadn't just been some girl. After meeting Yuuki, no other girl could have compared. But he had wanted to forget. He thought he had lost her forever.

After an hour, sometime near sunset, Kyoya drove into the garage and locked the car. He let himself into the house and took his jacket off. Just like every other day. Except no one came to greet him. There had been a vase in the dining room, but it had been tipped over. The flowers scattered on the floor. He'd bought her roses a few days ago, his proof of spontaneity. The man stood over them and watched the water seep into the carpet.

"You did have a spontaneous bone before I met you. You just used it to 'drown you're sorrows' with some French bimbo." Came a sharp voice from the door. "I was in London, tearing myself apart, and you were in bed with some...blonde with more silicone than brain!" Yuuki had googled the girl.

"No, she didn't have much of a brain." Kyoya tried to lighten the mood.

"I guess that made her easy to seduce, right?" His wife paused. Tapped her fingers uneasily against the door frame. Disappeared.

The Ootori sighed and pushed his glasses up. "Yuuki..." He walked into the hall to see her turn a corner into the library. "I had no interest in her."

The girl stopped. "Obviously." She spat before marching into the room. "Here." She pulled a book off the shelf. "This one's called _Fidelity_. Maybe you should read it." She paced a bit, tapping the book against her palm in agitation. And discontent. And disease."Was she very pretty?" Yuuki stopped her rampage.

Kyoya paused. She had been pretty. "Not as pretty as you."  
"Oh. Don't use you're host joke on me. Please. Not now."

"Look, Yuuki, it meant nothing."  
"Well...how am I supposed to know that?" She opened her arms in a hurt manner. "How am I supposed to even respond to that? I know you hadn't waited before me...I mean...you practically raped Haruhi to teach her a lesson...but you were supposed to after. You were supposed to...for me."

"I thought I'd lost you."  
"So you went on the rebound?"

"It was stupid, Yuuki."  
"Yeah. Coming from you, that was the biggest act of idiocy ever. I knew you used to be a money grabbing jerk, but geez Kyoya. How do you think she felt?"

"What do you mean?"  
"You just...had a one night stand? I mean...she might have been in love with you." Not like she had been at the time, nothing could have been like that. But she could have enough to be broken hearted.  
"Ha." Kyoya said flatly. Rose had _totally_ been in love with him. "Enough to fly out the next day because her _boyfriend, _who I didn't even know about, had to have her on his arm for some ball." If she'd been used, he'd been used too. Seems they all had been.

"Then...why? ..." Yuuki put the insulting book down. She was hurt. Obviously. Anyone who had what they had would be. It was like being deceived. She had been deceived. "You should have told me."

"How am I supposed to tell you that?"

"I don't know. But you should have." She crossed her arms self consciously and stared out the window.

"You were gone, Yuuki. I couldn't even think straight except for business. What was I supposed to do?"  
"Put yourself on a plane and found me." She looked at him. "You know, it sucked for me too. I never stopped loving you, at all. But you obviously took the time, just a few hours, to not be in love with me anymore."

Kyoya took a step towards her. Yuuki raised a hand to stop him. An Ootori can't be stopped. He hugged her. She stiffened. She wondered what the other girl had smelt like. If he'd liked it. "I never stopped loving you."

Yuuki didn't reply straight away. "...were...were there others?"  
"No."

"I..."  
"I know. I'm sorry. Why do you think I didn't come after you?"  
"Because you didn't feel good enough..." He'd told her that. Then she realised what he was saying. "Oh." She had no idea that 'that' was why.  
"Oh indeed."  
"But...in London for the games...you..." Her words had an edge to them.  
"Because I respected you. I didn't respect Rose. At all. She didn't respect me either. There was nothing special about anything that happened. It just happened. I was angry and upset and confused and she was there."

"But she's so beautiful..."  
"No. She's not. Really. Yuuki, I mean that. She just wanted it for herself."  
"And you? What did you want it for?"  
"I was a selfish bastard."  
"Yes. You were." Her tone was still sharp.

"I'm sorry. I always have been. I felt...cold and dirty for a long time. I was sorry. I am."  
Yuuki didn't relax as he squeezed her."Bet you weren't at the time."

Kyoya sighed. "Don't fight with me."  
"What am I supposed to do? What if I told you I found some hot...Spanish...guy called...Peppermint and..."

"Peppermint?"  
"Shut up, he's Spanish."  
"Okay." He let her continue.

She tensed up again. "...I can't even see myself doing that. I feel...betrayed." Yuuki pushed her husband away and leant on the back of an armchair. "I waited. For you. Actually, for marriage. But you were the only person I could see myself marrying. Why do you think I'm hurt?"  
"How can I make it up to you?" Kyoya was at a loss.

Yuuki stared at him and then walked past him. "You can sleep on the couch. There are blankets and pillows in the linen closet." She didn't know what to do. So she did what she had done for a year when she had been at just as equal a loss. She went riding.

Suppose that she'd got over him. Suppose that she'd stopped listening to love songs to break her fall. Suppose she'd found someone sweeter to kiss and a heart that loved her more.

Impossible.

Yuuki sat on the floor of Zero's stall. The horse stood, steaming, beside her. It was cold. She needed him to cool down a bit before putting his blanket on though. He'd get a skin infection otherwise. The girl put her face in her hands and cried. She'd never loved anyone more or been loved so much. Which is why it hurt. He hadn't respected himself or the other woman. They'd just...

She didn't want to think about it. He was sorry, obviously. But she was still annoyed. He'd obviously repented. And she'd forgiven him, but she was still hurt. She wondered how she faired compared to the Ambassadors daughter and then chided herself for thinking it. He loved her. He had loved her while she was away. He had been hurting enough to be stupid for the first time in his life.

Yuuki wished Kyoya had told her.

Zero's breath was soft on top of her head. "Hey..." The girl looked up and tickled his nose. "Don't worry boy. I'm fine." She paused. "Maybe Rose could give him a child." The girl said bitterly. "We should call her up then, huh?" Yuuki sniffed. She felt short, slight, dark haired and infertile. Especially in contrast. "It's not...well, it is his fault. But..." She breathed. "It was a long time ago...I mean...Tamaki must have had a whole string of lovers...and...the twins..." Yuuki leant her head back. "Why do women love men when their so stupid? Is it because they have the power not to be? Because he's the right one? And so perfect? Even though he messed up royally. His blood must be blue now. Just like Prince Charles and Camilla. There. I'm being British. If I hadn't gone too Britain....Gah. How do you deal with that? Why am I even offended?"

Zero snorted.

"Of course I forgive him, but I can still feel betrayed and hurt. I need to...think a bit. And talk to him. As awkward as that will be." Pause. "Yeah..."

-

The phone in the house rang. Kyoya picked it up and didn't say hello. He just stood there with the device to his ear.

"_Hello?"_

"Tamaki, I'm not paying for your car." The man hissed down the line.

"_What?! Its not even my car! Its Haruhi's car!"_

"I don't give a damn at the moment. Actually, I fancy coming there right now and driving it straight into you."

"_Would you have rather she found out some other way?"_

"YES!" Kyoya slammed his fist on the counter. "You knew I hated what happened."

"_Would you have rather it been a secret?"_

"...no. Probably not. I should have told her."  
_"Is she very mad?"_

"Hurt more than anything else. Especially after..." He ran a hand over his face.

"_After what?"_

"Nothing." Tamaki needn't know the root cause of her feeling terrible.  
_"Ah. Women are amazing, are they not?"_

"Hn. "

"_You we're pretty stupid."_

"Yes. I know."

"_I mean...you were so in love with her. And so hurt."_

"I know."

"_And then BAM! There is someone who wants to give you an expression of what you lost."_

"I know."

"_Only, she was there for selfish reasons...well...so were you. Sort of. I mean...you totally hung out of a car for her and then just sort of...screwed up."_

"I KNOW!" Kyoya shouted. "Damn it Tamaki."

"_She'll come around."  
_The light in the stable lit up part of the garden. "I know...but now we both have to live with my mistakes."  
_"As you said, you would have told her anyway."_

Kyoya clenched his jaw.

"_You didn't make the right decision. But you can make a decision right."_

The Ootori leant on the kitchen counter.

"_Just think about how much men suck in comparison to women. We're like...the hairy, smelly draft. They have a complex thought pattern, attractive hair, the curve of their neck is beautiful and the small of their back soft."_ Pause. _"We can't do anything but love them, Kyoya. Only, we were made with a built in moron drive that makes them think otherwise. We were gifted with the greatest creatures on the planet, and we were gifted with the ability to be jerks. They learn from that. Which is why people like Rose exist. They climb down the tree and make easy pickings, when it's the ones up top, the ones that fly away, that you really should go after." _

"How was I supposed to go after her?"

There was a short laugh. _"With the truth."_

"It's not that easy."

"_Or maybe it's easier than you think."_

"Yuuki probably feels...insignificant now."

"_Then show her she's not. You're both not going to forget and she probably lost some trust for you, but she loves you Kyoya. She couldn't stop if she tried..."  
_Kyoya hung up on Tamaki. He didn't need Dr Phil right now. He was penitent, regretful, but he needed to be hers. He always had been, even before they met, and always would be. Just like she to him.

-

_I am the patron saint of lost causes  
A fraction of who I once believed  
It's only a matter of time  
Opinions I would try and rewrite  
If life had background music playing your song  
I have got to be honest, I tried to escape you  
But the orchestra plays on, and they sang_

Oh, things are going to change now for the better  
And oh, things are going to change

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you  
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through  
Dismantle me down, repair  
You dismantle me  
You dismantle me

_Give me time to prove_

_  
Prove I want the rest of yours  
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you  
It's not that I hang on every word  
I hang myself on what you repeat  
It's not that I keep hanging on  
I'm never letting go_

_(Dismantle Repair, Anberlin)_

-

Yuuki only came up to the house around midnight. The snow had fallen in the hours she'd spent sitting and thinking. The girl stood on a piece of ice and lost her balance. She landed on her palms, the cold bit into her skin.

Yuuki hissed and stood up again. She made it to the house, but she was soggy. Every other time she'd fallen in the snow, it had been a good experience. Kyoya wasn't on the couch. A light spilled from the study and a soft tapping could be heard. Yuuki paused before going up to bed. She wanted to say goodnight. She turned the shower on hot and stood under it. She didn't feel dirty. Just hurt. If she hadn't left, it wouldn't have happened.

Yuuki pulled herself out of the steam and into a pair of track pants and a hoodie. Her clothes. She wondered if Rose had liked his...the girl clenched her fist. Who was she really upset at? Both of them, but...She sat on the end of the bed and ran her feet over the carpet. They said the loss of her baby was just human error. Humans made mistakes. And they were sorry for them. Yuuki wondered if Kyoya was that sorry. Surely not. She was beautiful. It wasn't infidelity, Yuuki hadn't been in the picture, but it still rubbed her backwards. He was her lover; he had been from the very beginning. She was his.

There was a picture of them on their wedding day on the sideboard that ran across the far side of the room. Yuuki looked at it. He was so honest. He didn't lie, but sometimes he just didn't tell the truth. But she was glad she knew. She wanted to know everything about him, even if it made her upset. The way of the modern world was to discard the value of virtue. It was pleasure seeking, hurt defying. Make merry, for tomorrow we may die. The extremes of joy and the extremes of despair. Both ended up destroying. Especially the former if not used in the right context. And he'd suffered for it. Long before she'd gotten mad at him.

When Yuuki went back downstairs, Kyoya was laying on the couch. Staring at the ceiling. She sat by his feet. He didn't move.

The girl locked her thumbnails together. "Was...was it...um..."  
"No." He said flatly. "It wasn't." It had been selfish.

"Then...why?"

"Because I hated myself for driving you away and I needed to remind myself of why."  
"So you did it to someone else?"  
"And got it in return." He put a finger to the bridge of his nose out of habit. "I needed to be used to know what you felt like."

Yuuki stared at her hands. "So you weren't...attracted to her?"  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"She wasn't you."

"But, she could give you a..." She swallowed. "...what I can't."

"You think I don't love you just because you miscarried? Don't be stupid Yuuki."

"Don't call me stupid." Yuuki picked the sleeve of her hoodie. "Am I supposed to...compare myself now?"  
"No." He felt like a jerk.

"How can I not. She's the opposite of what I am."  
"And I hated it."

"Surely she ..."  
"No. Yuuki. She wasn't. All she wanted was for herself. What you want is for me."

"I don't follow."  
Kyoya sighed and sat up. "She took pleasure. You give it."

"I...didn't know you could take it."  
The man smiled. "And that's why I love you. You don't take anything. Not even for yourself. You give and get given in return. You taught me that."  
"Ky..."  
"No. It's the ABC of you. And I don't deserve it. I know."  
"No." Yuuki shook her head. "I really appreciate you telling me all this, but what I am supposed to do?"  
"What do you think you should do?"  
"I've already forgiven you."  
"Why?"  
"Because I love you. If God didn't forgive mankind of their sins, and he knows they're worse than yours, then we would all burn in hell. But I love you enough not to let that happen."

"If God wanted man not to sin, then he wouldn't let him."  
"And banish free will? That's what I love about you. You don't mess up because you chose not to. But you're only human and thus...are a little stupid by nature. Just like me. I got on that plane, it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't."

"Don't say that."  
"I mean...after deviation there has to be a rainbow, right? A promise?"

"I promise you. I couldn't do that to you again. I'm sorry."  
"I know." Yuuki smiled a little and looked at him. "What merit was there anyway?"  
Kyoya frowned, not quite understanding. He'd explained this to her.

"I mean...she'd had that surgery where you put fat from your butt into your lips to make them plump. So...essentially, for the first and last time ever, you were kissing someone's arse."

Kyoya laughed. "When you put it that way..."

Yuuki smiled. "You don't...compare us?"  
"There is no comparison. You're perfect." He ran a hand through his hair. Her flaws just made her worth his while. "I'd never loved nobody fully, always had my feet on the ground. But you took the time to come down and stand beside me."

"Just protecting my heart truly. It hurts to fall." She tugged his foot. "You broke my heart you know?" Yuuki looked at him. Her face melancholy. "But you put it back together afterwards. I guess you just wanted to see how it worked."

"I still have absolutely no idea."

"Well, it wasn't a waste of time." He'd left an imprint on it. "Suppose I'd never met you. Suppose we'd never fallen in love. Suppose...I never ever saw you. What sort of life would that be?"  
"Incomplete. Without realising it."  
Yuuki looked out the window. "Yeah."

"Come here." Kyoya opened his arms for her.

The girl stood up and squeezed one of his hands on passing. "I'm still mad at you."She smiled haughtily. "Will she be at the masquerade?"  
"Unfortunately, yes." He hadn't seen Rose since she'd left for her boyfriends...whatever. He doubted she'd remember him. But her father had to be invited, and it extended to family. Every other time, it had just been spouse and partner invites, this was a bigger event. Children were invited. All because Tamaki wanted his little girl to see a masquerade.

His wife smiled roguishly. "Fantastic."

Kyoya decided to keep her away from sharp objects that evening. "Goodnight, Yuuki."

"Goodnight, Kyoya." She let her hand linger in his for a second. "Sleep sweet." On the couch.

Kyoya watched her disappear up the stairs before pinching his nose. He felt ashamed, despite her acceptance and forgiveness of what had happened. He'd never failed at anything until he'd met her. He'd never had anything worth hanging onto so much.

-

_The moons to bright. The chains to tight. The beast won't go to sleep. I've been running though these promises to you that I made and could not keep. Oh. A man never got a woman back, not without begging on his knees. So I crawl to you baby and I fall at your feet. I howl at your beauty like a dog in heat. And I'll claw at your heart, and I tear at you're sheet. I say 'please; because I'm you're man.' _

_(I'm you're man, Michael Buble)_

_-_

Kyoya woke up the next morning with a crick in his neck and a headache. Yuuki was sitting in the kitchen eating toast; there was a glass of water and Advil on the counter. She offered them to him.

"Good ride?" The man downed the offering.

"No." She stared blankly ahead. Obviously a little grumpy.

"Why?"  
"The snow melted and then froze in the arena. It's like a mini skating rink."

Kyoya noticed that she was a little soggy. She'd obviously gone down to see the conditions. He then noticed that she had a bruise in the corner of her jaw. "What happened?"  
"I slipped and the post decided to catch me. It's very talented."

"Ah." He took her coffee and drank it.

"Hey. No. I needed that."  
"Coffee's bad for you."  
"So you drink it?"  
"If I'm going to hell..."  
"Don't say that. You're not going to hell."  
"I was a jerk. I'm sorry."  
"I know. But don't say that." Yuuki stared at him. "If you're in hell then I am too."  
"No. You could never go to hell."  
"Anywhere would be if you're not there, we both make mistakes. So don't go damning yourself."

Kyoya smiled slightly and sat on the stool beside hers. He pushed Yuuki's ponytail off her shoulder and kissed the bruise on her jaw. "Better?"

"It will be." She smiled demurely. "How's your neck?"  
"No comment."  
Her smile turned smug and she bit her toast. "I thought so."

"And you're head?  
He grimaced.

"Headaches can be like rainbows. They exist to remind you of something important."

"It really didn't mean anything, Yuuki."

"I know. It's just...it was...us...it was. Um." Still an awkward discussion. "Extraordinary."  
"It is to me too."

"I don't even know why it bothers me...we weren't together."

"Physically. I would have been disconcerted as well."

Yuuki pressed her finger into the crumbs on her plate. "You should have come for me."

"I couldn't. Not after what happened. For both of us. We both made mistakes. Huge mistakes. Life impacting mistakes."  
"You could have before. I was only one continent away, sitting in the rain. I waited for you. The whole time. To call, or look me up and send mail...anything. You still existed to me, but I thought I didn't to you." Pause. "But you wanted to purge your sins by making them worse and building them up without viable justification."  
Kyoya laughed. "You have a very interesting perspective."  
"So do you."  
"You're alright?"  
Yuuki sighed. "Yes. I'm fine. We weren't together at the time. It was your choice and I should respect that, even if it was to disrespect yourself." Pause. "But if you ever, ever, ever, even think about..."  
He put a finger on her mouth. "I won't."

"I will kick you all the way to Mori and then he will kick you over China, and then punch you. Really hard." She pointed a finger at him. "Really, really hard."

"As long as I don't have to suffer you're driving."

She glared.

"Yuuki. I have you and you give me more than anyone else could. Why would I desire anything else?"  
"Because you're a man."  
Kyoya though about this a second. "I'm a man of my word."

"You're in hospital management."

"So, I have to be a man of my word, or people die."  
"I will seriously kill you..." Yuuki threatened.  
"Well, you'll have to take my word then."

She paused and then let her anger from the day before dissipate. "Okay."

Tachi walked into the room. He had a habit of letting himself in. "Hello Yuuki." He turned to Kyoya. "Jerk-wad."

"Tamaki?" Kyoya enquired.  
The instructor poured himself a cup of coffee. "Believe it."  
"Alright, Naruto." Yuuki scowled at Tachi. "Chill."  
"Hey, you should be burning him up."  
"He slept on the couch."  
"For the rest of his life I hope."

"Its okay. I mind, yes, but...I cant change it."

"Because he _loves_ you?"

"Yes."  
"Because you _love_ him?"  
"Yes."  
"That's moronic."

"He didn't cheat on me. He just...went on the rebound."  
"Yes. Well, if he rebounded anywhere near me, I would have hit him incredibly hard and watched him rebound away again." Pause. "And then I would pulverise that insufferable ego. And then I would hunt that woman down and do the same. Then return to him and make it so that his ancestors wept in their graves."

"Tachi." Yuuki scolded. "If I can get over it, then you can."  
"I don't want to."  
"Do it."  
"How?"  
"Build a bridge."

"Can I build a catapult and smack him in the face with it?"  
Yuuki sighed.

Her instructor went to the fridge for milk. "I mean...seriously. Who does that? Especially if he still loved you like he said he did. And does. Or whatever." He took a sip of coffee. "I mean...gee. How hard is it to stay faithful to you."  
"He wasn't with me."

"You didn't go sleep with anyone."

"Gosh. Tachi."

"What? Yuuki." He shot back. "You're husband is a jerk for what he did. I don't care how long ago it was."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I am sitting right here."  
"Uhuh." Tachi dismissed him.

The Ootori smiled smugly. "What about you and Yue?"  
Yuuki stared. "Oh my gosh. Tachi! Yue? As in the daughter of the guy who you sold a horse to?"

"It was a long time ago. My wife had just died." He shot the last sentence at Kyoya. "How do you know that?"

"Her father owns the factory that produces our supplies." Kyoya leant back.

"I guess you're as bad as each other." Yuuki stood. "So...you should both contemplate the meaning of infidelity, kiss and make up." Pause. "And Tachi, stop being a hypocrite."

"It wasn't infidelity." Tachi said in defence.

"Then, neither was his." She said in her husband's. "Doesn't mean you won't betray someone through it, even if you're seeking comfort through purgatory. However the hell that works." Yuuki left the room shaking her head and muttering about men.

The older man turned to the younger. They stared at each other a moment and then into their respective mugs in contemplation.

"I'm not kissing you." Tachi said flatly.

"There's only one person I plan on kissing."  
"It better not be me."  
"Much better looking."  
"She'd better be your wife."  
"You're really terrible at picking up on what I mean."  
"You did mean Yuuki?"  
"Yes."

"Good." The man scowled and finished his coffee.

"Why are you here anyway?"  
"I came to punch you in the nose. But..."  
"It was a long time ago."  
"Exactly." It had been for him too.

Kyoya smiled. He still felt like a jerk. He bet Tachi now did too, but at least he understood some. But Yuuki had forgiven him. She was his angel. In more ways than one. She'd known how sorry he was, and knew he'd done it out of his loss from her. To fill the hole and punish its emptiness at the same time.

The man leant on the table and put his head in his hands. "I am such an idiot."  
"I know." Tachi said flatly. "We all are to some extent though." He poured himself more coffee. "You're lucky she's willing to forgive you and see it as a past and never future sort of topic."

"Mmm."

"Just...don't expect to be sleeping anywhere except the couch soon. You know how girls are. They get all touchy and offish. Its rivalry to them. If a girl goes around, she's a slut. If a guy goes around, he's a stud. It's a different world man. But she gets it."  
She understood him. Not much else. He felt...tarnished. He would have told her. He should have told her. She'd never kept anything from him. Kyoya put a finger to the bridge of his nose and wished Tachi had hit him. Only...a few years in advance. When he really had needed it. But the past was past. It was there to remind him, like history, of previous mistakes. The future gave him the opportunity to not to it again. Now gave him the chance to do it directly. That's why it's called the present.

-

_I was lonely, I was tired, now I'm bound  
My head is off the ground_

_For a long time I was so weary, tired of the sound I heard before  
Knowing of the nights I'm out the door  
Haunted by the things I did  
Stuck between the burning light and the dusty shade_

_Said I used to think the past was dead and gone  
I was wrong--so wrong  
I know there's no place to hide  
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light_

_I was broken for a long time, but it's over now  
It's over now._

_Yes, and you--yeah, you walk these lonely streets  
Where people stand--people standard some people just can't  
I pretend I'm free from all the things that saved my friends  
I was there until the end and I know I can take the moon  
Stuck between the burning shade and the fading light_

_I was broken for a long time, but it's over now_

_Over now, it's all over, it's over now._

_(Broken, Robert Pattinson)_

_-_

Yuuki looked over the balcony at one in the morning and saw Kyoya still staring at the wall. He'd been staring at the wall for hours. There was only one thing that could bring a man to such a level, and that was his own mistakes. She knew exactly how he felt. Except, she'd been staring at the bathroom ceiling, praying he would still love her. And he had. And she was so thankful, but she still felt guilty.

The girl slipped down the stairs and sat at the bottom. She wanted to go to him and tell him it was okay. It was okay. It had always been okay. To a certain except. His acts in that year belonged to no one but him and he'd obviously suffered enough from them. It had been one week. A week where all he could think about was her and how much he'd messed up to let her go. Yuuki just didn't know if she could go and not feel judged to a certain extent.

In the end, she crawled behind him and lay down. She put an arm around his torso and buried her face in between his shoulder blades. Kyoya shifted slightly and brought a hand up to hers. Yuuki held it. "It's okay."

"It's not okay." He said back.

"You paid the price. And you don't ever pay that sort of thing twice. I know you."  
"Can you trust me again?"  
"I never stopped. When you met Rose, I was out of the picture. Just a painful memory. You needed a break."  
"It made things worse."  
"I'm glad." Yuuki smiled. "I really am. You're still a jerk for doing what you did."

"Mmmm..."

"I love you."  
"You really shouldn't."  
"Why?"  
"Because it brings you no merit."  
"I'm not a girl scout. I don't need merits."

Kyoya felt her breath seep through his shirt and into his skin. Every single bit of it was still for him.

"You know," Yuuki shifted slightly. "Like a headache, what happened exists to remind you of something."

"What is it reminding me of?"  
"That you loved me enough to try and let me go." Pause. "You failed. Epically. Thank goodness."

"I never tried to let you go."  
"You wanted to forget."  
It was true. "So did you."  
"Yes. But I knew I never would. You left a Kyoya shaped hole. Actually, there always was a Kyoya shaped hole, it had just never been filled before."

"It's not empty now?"  
"Is you're Yuuki hole empty?"  
"Overflowing."

"Ditto. For...you. I don't have a Yuuki shaped hole. That would just be selfish."  
Kyoya laughed. "Don't ever think you have to be compared to Rose. Ever. You're the only person I ever think about."  
"Even with her?"  
Pause. "Yes."  
"Wow. You are a jerk." She pinched him.

"Why do you care about her?"  
"Because, she's a people too."  
"A people?"

"Yes. A people." Yuuki was getting sleepy. "And people make mistakes. If she hasn't learned from it, then I might have cause to really, really, really, really not like her. But she didn't know about me. She's a modern girl. Modern girls aren't like us traditional girls."

"Sadly."

"Mmm?"  
"What you thought was special, is. You can never get it back. You can never give it to anyone else. Which is why it's the perfect gift. Thank you."  
"Happy birthday." Yuuki said drowsily.

Kyoya smiled. "Happy Anniversary maybe?"  
"Whatever."

"Good night, Yuuki."  
She mumbled something. "Sleep sweet." Was all that was actually coherent.

Kyoya considered himself blessed. Blessed that she loved him with a love undying, and that she gave him the chance to return it. Without taking back the keys to her secrets. She was still his. Completely. Flaws and all. Flaws that fit into his and locked them in place. That made their bond stronger, as long as they could accept and forgive them.

The girl shifted. She tangled her legs around his. Kyoya closed his eyes. He'd not told her because he was afraid. Afraid she wouldn't love him as she had. Just as she had been afraid of telling him she'd miscarried. But they'd both underestimated the extent that forgiveness reached to when given through love. If God could forgive all mankind, so long as they asked and were truly sorry, if he could give them a clean slate; then so could they. They could do it. He found ran his thumb over her rings. Just two rings. Forever and a day. They had said eternity after all; you can't do it with a grudge and a haunting past. The only way to fight a haunted past is by holding someone else's hand. Kyoya ran his thumb over his wedding band. He couldn't change the past, but he sure could use it to guide his future. Mortality make beauty that much greater; everlasting; eternal.

_-_

_Is this the whole picture  
Or is it just the start?  
Is this the way you love me?  
You're capturing my heart  
I used to try and walk alone  
But I've begun to grow  
And when you tell me just to rest  
I'm finally letting go  
I let go_

And I'm here to stay  
Nothing can separate us  
And I know, I'm ok  
You cradle me gently  
Wrapped in your arms.... I'm home

I'm seeing so much clearer  
Looking through your eyes  
I could never find a safer place  
Even if I tried  
All the times I've needed you  
You've never left my side  
I'm clinging to your every word  
Don't ever let me go  
Don't let go

_(Wrapped in your arms, Fireflight)_

_-_

------

_To be continued...with the party. _

_Based on a true story. I wasn't just making all that up. I know a pretty awesome couple. Except, they were married at the time. So...his mistakes were actually completely relevant, not just emotionally so. Some decisions are right, and sometimes you have to make your decisions right. Call me old fashioned, but it worked for them. I was talking about them the other day and just how hard it must have been. If I was Yuuki, I would struggle. They wern't together, but they both knew they should have been._

_Because everyone knows that the host club is full of 'themes'. Be mature about it. Even if, like me, you want to dissapear. _

_Please tell me what you thought. I'd like to improve this story according to your opinions, wants, needs...I take all you're reviews seriously and I appreciate each. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	33. Chapter 31

-

**Chapter 31**

**-**

The night of the party arrived with much anticipation. It was a big party. An annual event. Celebrities and the business elite turned up to mingle at a winter ball, hosted by a different family each year. This year, in honour of their efforts to the World Wide Health Crisis, the Ootori group was the leader.

Yuuki sat on the counter beside her sink and brushed her teeth. She and Kyoya had been at the venue all morning, making sure things were set up right. The girl watched her husband do his tie up.

"Uh." Her speech was muffled. "Half Windsor. Double is too thick."

Kyoya paused before wrapping the tie around itself again. "Half is too thin."  
"If you pull it tight." She stopped brushing and held her hands out, beckoning him closer. Yuuki undid his tie and redid it. "There." She rinsed her mouth. "Better."

Her husband looked at the girl, sitting in between a compact, brushes, mascara and various other items men knew little about, barefoot and in a dress that didn't seem to fit right. He worked out why when she slid off the counter and onto the floor, turning so she could put on a pair of diamond earrings. The back of her dress was comprised of a tight set of tiny silk buttons and that would require a vast amount of twisting to do up. She hadn't done it yet. Kyoya did them for her.

Yuuki smiled at him in the mirror. "Thank you."

He kissed the back of her neck. "You look wonderful." A man should always tell a woman if she looks good, she always forgets it for herself.

Yuuki was wearing a black dress. Strapless with a scalloped neckline. It dipped to a V at the back where a line of almost invisible black buttons wrapped up the centre and caused the material to fold intricately, lifting the dress from plain to elegant. It flowed well and gently touched the floor. It was made of silk with a chiffon overlay to allow for soft movement. She'd curled her hair and pinned it into a bun. Some of it escaped and was pinned with small, white, pearl beads that matched her necklace. It was a bit of a modern Grace Kelly look. Soft, but proud. Gentle but in control.

Kyoya turned Yuuki around and kissed her amiably. She dropped her arms around his neck. He tried to run his fingers into her hair but she protested. "That took too long to do."

"How long?" He pressed his mouth to the corner of hers so that she could tell him.

"Two hours."

"Two?"  
"Okay, more one and a half."

"You know...we can just get you a stylist for this sort of thing."  
"I like to do it."  
"You do it well." He tucked short curl off her face and behind her ear. "The media is going to appreciate you're effort."  
"Ew." She pulled a face.

"Just smile and tell them who you're wearing. Say something about life so they don't ask. Try not to fall over."  
"The latter is going to be difficult. The heels have the thinnest stiletto. It's stupid."

"Why do you wear them?"  
"Because, Chanel paid me to. I get them for free."  
"I could buy them."  
"No. Why when I can get them for free?"

Kyoya laughed softly and let her go. "Alright. Go find them. We have to leave soon."

"Where's your mask?"  
"On the bedside table." He was dressed completely in black and white. In true Kyoya style, his mask was black too, and on a stick so he didn't actually have to wear it. Yuuki had decided to match and bought the same thing, but in white. No one actually wore their masquerade attire until they had passed the media. They all thought it was just a black and white ball. One needed a real face for the public.

Yuuki put her shoes on and teetered delicately for a moment before walking a bit. They weren't high, just hard to balance on for the first few minutes until one got used to them. "Okay. Let's go."

Kyoya did his cuff buttons up and caught her as she veered a little too off balance for his liking. "I said we had to leave soon, not A.S.A.P." Pause. "You're struggling with forward motion."

"Thanks captain obvious."

He straightened her necklace out. She smelt like roses in autumn. A warm, sweet scent. He kissed the base of her throat, just above the pulse.

Yuuki stood in his arms for a moment. "We'll be late."

Kyoya stood straight and lingered.

His wife looked him straight in the eye. "I know we can't avoid meeting her, so, can you not avoid it?"  
"I won't. I won't even leave your side."  
"You're allowed to." Yuuki fixed his tie again. "We're not attached."

Kyoya smiled slightly. "No. But one wouldn't protest."

"Yes. But you have your business. To be quite frank, your business partners are old and only know how to talk of themselves."  
"What would you talk of?"  
"Politics."  
"Dangerous subject."  
"Fine. History."  
"How about medical literature."  
"Freud?"  
"Perfect."  
"Great. I can state his theory that all ugly people marry beautiful partners."  
"I'm not ugly." Kyoya said haughtily.  
Yuuki smiled smugly. "Not with an ego like that."  
"So you're argument just died."  
"No, you're just short sighted."  
"No one will get that pun."

"I got it. It made me laugh. Deep down inside."

"Well, that's all that counts." He pressed his hand into the small of her back and turned her gently away, guiding her to down the stairs and to the door. "Remember, there is no comparison."

Yuuki hesitated. "Okay."  
"Okay? It was a mistake."  
"Okay." She nodded. "Okay. I'll tell her that."  
"Play nice."  
The girl breathed. "Okay."  
"Stop saying okay."  
"Okay." Pause. "Sorry."

Kyoya smiled. She was nervous, not because of him, because of the potential jealousy that could ensue. They'd talked about 'the situation' for hours. Yuuki was still uneasy even though she understood, accepted and forgave his misdemeanours. He was an eighteen year old man who had just had his heart broken, in a foreign country full of beautiful women who would fall at his feet at a whim because he was, well, Kyoya Ootori. Those women would just have to accept that he was not actually like he had been in that year. He was as he had been the year before. And sensible. Mistakes exist so they don't happen again.

-

_I just spoke silence with the seeker next to me; she had a heart with hesitant, halting speech_

_That turned to mine and asked belligerently 'what do I live for?'_

_I see the scars of searches everywhere I go, From hearts to wars to literature to radio_

_There's a question like a shame no one will show, what do I live for?_

_We are Hosea's wife_

_We are squandering this life_

_Using people like ladders and words like knives_

_If we've eyes to see, if we've ears to hear_

_To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near_

_Shed that shallow skin, come and live again_

_Leave all you were before, to believe is to begin_

_There is truth in little corners of our lives, there are hints of it in songs and children's eyes_

_It's familiar, like an ancient lullaby, what do I live for?_

_We are Hosea's wife_

_We are squandering this life_

_Using bodies like money and truth like lies_

_If we've eyes to see, if we've ears to hear_

_To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near_

_Shed that shallow skin, come and live again_

_Leave all you were before, to believe is to begin_

_We are more than dust,that means somethin'_

_We are more than just blood and emotions, inklings and notions, atoms on oceans_

_We are Hosea's wife_

_We are squandering this life_

_Using people like ladders and words like knives_

_If we've eyes to see, if we've ears to hear_

_To find it in our hearts and mouths the word that saves is near_

_Shed that shallow skin, come and live again_

_Leave all you were before_

_To believe is to begin_

_(Hosea's wife, Brooke Fraser)_

-

As the hosts, the Ootori couple had to be there relatively early. Already though, there were others filtering into the foyer of the grand hall. The event was being held within the city gardens, inside what used to be an old hotel. The grand room of which was two stories high with a domed roof and a balcony that wrapped right around the top level for prime viewing of the bottom. The windows were large to afford a view of the snow. The fireplace was large to provide warmth the whole night. It had walls of plain white and panels of black. It was very oriental inside but had been decorated to a Venetian standard. Exotic, mysterious and exceptionally lavish. A ten piece orchestra was set up in one corner, just in front of the glass. Music and a good view. But no one had reached the room yet. The media loved the event, it was when the rich and famous and various mixtures of both came out to play, socialise and, in all probability, cause a stir.

It was snowing softly when Yuuki and Kyoya arrived. A small cheer broke out from the masses lining up to see anyone of supposed worth. The girl still couldn't quite understand why they did that, they were just business people. Maybe it was because they gave hope. Or were a sign of something most people wanted.

"Good evening." A man with a microphone and camera man approached them. "A penny for your thoughts?"

Kyoya smiled pleasantly. "Just contemplating the snow and whether we'll have to provide shelter for the media."

Yuuki laughed inside. He was not thinking anything of the sort. The man was flattered though. "Oh, Mr Ootori, that won't be necessary. We are the thickest skinned of any industry." He beamed. "So who can we expect from the invite list?"  
This time Kyoya laughed. "That would take a lot to recall." Money's on that he could. "Just expect a lot of people, all of whom expect to be interviewed. I sent out a warning of sorts to each party. You'll have good pickings this evening."

"And, Mrs Ootori, what will you be doing?"  
"Just being a wall flower." She smiled at him. "I'm his smiles."

Her husband put an arm around her waist and nodded his dismissal to the journalist. "'His smiles'?"

"Want me to be you're frowns?"  
He kissed her cheek as they moved past a few of the screaming-journalist-types and towards the more professional versions. "I want you to be you."  
"We all know what a scandal that would produce."  
"Then, let them have their scandal." Pause. "It's good for business."  
Yuuki didn't say anything of the other scandal possibility. That didn't need to be brought up. It was part of a slate that was now clean. She just remembered what it had said. "So, what am I tonight then?"  
"My wife."  
The woman looked up at him. "Duh."

Kyoya pulled them into a mass of cameras and individuals dressed in business suits. "I hope the cold isn't insufferable?"  
A woman went straight to Yuuki. "You're wearing a strapless dress, aren't you cold?"

"Oh." Yuuki could still feel Kyoya pressed against her. Except slightly behind. It was more visually effective. "No. It's a nice dress. It would be a shame to cover it."

"Who are you wearing?"  
"Dress by Peter Alexander, he's this amazing Australian designer, shoes by Chanel, Jewellery by...whatever was in my jewellery box."

She got a laugh from the last quip. "And who styled you this evening?"  
"I did. Kyoya..." Who was otherwise engaged. "...says I should get a stylist, but I used to ride horses for a living. You learn how to create hair that will endure."

"How long did that take?"

Yuuki smiled and looked down before bringing her gaze back to the woman. "A long time."

Another journalist, interested in the couple and not their individual fame, pressed forward. "What of the Ootori Empire? I hear it is undergoing an international expansion? What does that mean for us as consumers?"  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "It means good things for consumers. The expansion means that we get more support from other companies and more income, resulting in lower fees and more opportunities for medical advancement."

"Is he at work a lot?" To Yuuki.

She looked at her husband. "An Empire wasn't built in a day."

"You studied history at university did you not?" On the topic of empires and education.

"Yes. It was part of my degree. Or, I chose it as part of my degree."  
"How is the Ootori Empire, to you, great?"

Yuuki paused. "Well, it learns from its mistakes. Its flexible. I mean...there have been a lot of empires, Rome; which died because of numerous civil wars, treachery and treason. The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason..." Small laughs. They liked her media persona. "...The German Empire. Now that was good. Especially the second time round. Except they made the mistake of celebrating with a World War. Twice. The Austro-Hungarian Empire had the potential but chose to slowly collapse like a flan in a closet." She shrugged. "Things have happened to teach us to do otherwise. And that's what the Ootori Empire is about. Adapting to the times, to the people's needs, seeking happiness. Business is like Hosea's wife, from the Bible, and its advocates like Hosea. Things go wrong and you can't control them, but you can keep trying to provide a better future."  
"And that's your job? To stop your husband from making mistakes?"  
"He's quite apt, Kyoya doesn't need my help."

Her husband scoffed. "We keep each other out of trouble."  
"I'm not trouble." She shot back.

"Uhuh." He steered her away, much to the amusement of the pack.  
Yuuki scowled at him. "I'm not trouble. I just gave you're company the monologue of a lifetime."  
"And I gave the follow up quip."  
She smacked him good-naturedly with her clutch bag.

"They like you." He said down to her, smiling continuously for the never ending flashes. It was a subdued version of the Oscars Red Carpet.

"They like you and thus have no choice but to like me."  
"I'd have gone vice-versa."  
"And you're always right." Yuuki added sarcastically.

"Most of the time." He said smugly.

"I'd go...ninety percent of the time. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong for the other ten."

"Of course not. You're very frequently right. Just in the wrong manner."

"You're being exceptionally superior."

"Just part of the game."  
"And you like this game?"  
Kyoya looked at her, still maintaining a smile. Only, it reached his eyes for her. "Relax."

"I feel like an old film. All the black and white. It's like Shindlers List."  
"You compare the event to the holocaust."  
"It wouldn't be a stretch to imagine."  
He laughed. "Interesting view." Pause. "By the way, your witticism about the world's empires may come back to bite you. Especially from the Germans."  
"I speak German. And have the ability to flatter with ease." She said mischievously. "And the Romans, I'm sure won't mind. The Austrians and the Hungarians have long since gone their own ways. The past is the past. Learn from it."

"Underlying message taken."

"There was none, but if you want to take it that way, be my guest."

Kyoya hadn't let her go, they moved undercover, just before the foyer. "Cold?"

"What do you think?" Little pieces of soft ice had been falling on her. Romantic or not, it was freezing.

"Inside." He softly urged. "How are your feet?"  
"Don't worry about me." Yuuki watched the people coming in. Somewhere amongst them was the cast of a recently award winning film, a singer who just made number one, and Rose. "You don't need to bend the rules for me."  
"It's not a matter of need." Kyoya's tone was strong. As per usual. But it was laced with something softer.

Yuuki turned to him and smiled softly before kissing him. It was warm and tender. Kyoya lingered above her and smiled. The girl blushed, realising that more than a few camera's had caught the moment. "That was stupid. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't stupid." He kissed her again. "Just a little embarrassing."

Yuuki laughed. "It's the same thing."  
"Only to you."  
She shook her head humorously and turned back to the throng. "All for appearances sake."  
Kyoya scoffed haughtily. "My left foot."  
"Awww...you're using my phrases."

"You've started saying 'yes'."  
"I know. I'm going to have to teach you to say 'yeah' sometime."

"No."  
"It's quite the possibility."  
"Quite." Kyoya shot back sarcastically.

There was a cheerful cry, but not from the media. Someone and their entourage had just entered out of a stretch Hummer. There were two guys and three girls, the leader of which was obviously principal in both command and subtle wildness. Her friends were the ones yelling, causing everyone to turn. The head girl was dressed in a bright red cocktail dress. To a black and white ball. She had peroxide blonde hair piled Marilyn Monroe style and cherry red lips. Rose was five foot eight bright green eyes and a body that would have rivalled Jessica Simpson in her _Dukes of Hazard _days.

Yuuki let her head fall backwards onto Kyoya's shoulder. She looked up at him from that position. He did not look pleased at all. The woman had just ruined the demure nature of the event with her ostentatious entrance. Kyoya was frowning. The media went ever so slightly insane as the French Ambassador and his wife climbed out of the car following and smiled as if their daughter's attire was the most natural thing in the event. Even though they themselves were entirely in black and white.

Kyoya looked down at Yuuki, put a hand on her hip and turned them towards the foyer. His wife glanced over his shoulder from her place in front of him and watched Rose saunter towards the door, her dress was in no way elegant. It was sensual. Red, slinky, bejewelled.

"Don't." Kyoya admonished. "She is wanton, licentious and without shame."  
"I would be too if I looked like that."  
"Why do you want to look like that?"  
"Most desired height, most desired hair colour, most desired shape..."  
"Genetics, fake, fake." He stopped and Yuuki sharply. "Don't ever try to be like that. Ever. There is nothing beautiful about her."  
"She's stunning Kyoya."  
"Not inside."  
"Well. Sometimes I'd like to be stunning outside too."  
"You are." He ran the back of his fingers down her neck. "There is nothing as captivating as you. Nothing as beautiful."  
"You'll stay captivated?"  
"How could I not?" He smiled genuinely. He'd never stopped being enthralled by the little dark girl. She was beautiful because she was her. Completely. Poignantly. "You are my world."  
Yuuki caught his hand as it reached her collarbone. "Okay. Sorry." She hadn't meant to bring it up.

"You have no idea." Kyoya quipped and put his free hand in his pocket characteristically.

"Don't." She scolded. "We talked about this. It's over."

"Then why are you upset?"  
"Who wouldn't be jealous?"

"You shouldn't be. You're the bell of the ball."

His wife smiled. "Alright."

"You look wonderful tonight."  
"You clean up pretty well yourself." Pause. "And I'm not just saying that."

Kyoya squeezed her hand back and then began the tedious task of greeting guests. Once a Host, always a Host. Yuuki stood a few feet away and spoke to the fancy-to-do women as their husbands discussed business with her husband. Everyone gave compliments to everyone and then took some of them back in the private gossip circles. The female Ootori held her tongue at the talk of the Ambassadors daughter. She hadn't met the girl, she would make no judgement. And said so when asked.

"I think it is a debate that will rage all evening and in the weeks to come. But she's European, the fashion and demeanour there is vastly different to that of Japan." There were a few nods. "Meet her, and talk the choice of her dress. But play nice, ladies."

Yuuki smiled at them and then laughed along with them. Kyoya glanced over from his sea of suits and shook his head in a dismissive manner. Discharging the female creature and her apt methods of reconnaissance. His wife stuck her tongue out at him and shattered his entire mental argument. It caused a great deal of pleasant talk of the sweetness of her nature and his fortune in finding her. The women reminisced on the times when they had been young and proud and could do the same thing without being rebuked for it. Yuuki told them that they were still young and proud enough. It was a masquerade after all. She had her media mask up and swiftly put her masquerade one up to prove her point. Her husband knew how to get behind it, and that was all that mattered.

-

Yuuki was with Kyoya again when Rose came over to be introduced. She seemed to remember the youngest Ootori. Her father was with her. The Ootori had to be polite and play his part.

"Good evening, Kyoya." They shook hands. "Wonderful set-up."  
"Thank you, Jean. I hope you enjoy the evening." He turned to look at his wife. "This is Yuuki."

"Yuuki Cunxin?" Came the modest reply.

"Only sometimes." She said, shaking the man's offered hand.

"Well. This is my daughter, Rose." He motioned the half distracted girl behind him. She was spinning her mask on a manicured finger.

"Hello." She said in a thick accent. "Long time no see." She smiled coyly at Kyoya.

"It has been a while."  
"I'd like to catch up again." Rose turned her gaze to Yuuki. "Hello, I'm Rose." She smiled a brilliant smile and offered her hand.  
"Yuuki." Came the reply. Kyoya put an arm around his wife's waist, she glanced at him.

"Are you two an item?" The Ambassador quipped.

His daughter put her mask up and examined the couple through its eyeholes. "I'd say more so." Her direction went down to Yuuki's left hand as it closed around the Ootori's torso. "Father, I do believe Miss Cunxin is no more."

"Oh?"

"Yuuki is my wife." Kyoya said contentedly.

"Oh!" The man exclaimed. "I'm sorry. I was not aware of the union."

"It was a private affair."

Yuuki stared incredulously at her husband. He shot her a glance that they would discuss that later. It had been a private affair. As in only for those who they had directly had verbal contact within that year.

"Smiles to the happy couple!" Rose exclaimed happily. "What fun."

Yuuki smiled at her little outburst. "When did you arrive in Japan?"  
"Two days ago."  
"You should come around for tea sometime."  
"Yes, the Japanese are big on tea, and the English." The woman picked up on Yuuki's half blood.

"Apparently so." Kyoya was talking to the ambassador and had left her to fend for herself.

"So...how long have you two been...an item?"  
"Four years married, we met...the end of junior year high school."  
"Oh, high school sweethearts! How delightful. Surely that must have been hard with studies? Seeing each other frequently must have been difficult."  
Yuuki laughed softly. "No. I used to board at the school but the scholarship was withdrawn when I fell off my horse."  
"Yes. I remember seeing that on the news. And then them mentioning at the Olympics."

"It was quite the event. But after that happened, I moved into the Ootori mansion. They had a bunch of spare rooms."  
"I know." Rose said absentmindedly. "Kyoya's is two stories."  
"It's quite the marvel." Yuuki said, avoiding the topic.

"I remember seeing it and wondering just how rich he was."  
The Ootori laughed awkwardly.

Rose didn't stop. "The house itself is huge. Bigger than mine. You don't have to worry about running into anyone in it in the middle of the night."

"It is convenient."

"Oh. Very." Rose had decided that she didn't like Kyoya's wife. She wasn't about to retaliate an obviously sensitive topic. She had a shameless nature. "The noise doesn't carry through it either."

Yuuki coughed awkwardly. Her husband looked at her for a second and then at the other woman. "It's a pleasure to meet you again, Rose."

"Oh. The pleasure was all mine." She extended her hand.

Kyoya pretended not to notice as Yuuki steered them inconspicuously to another group of people. The dinner call would go off soon. "What did she say?"

"Oh." His wife said lightly. "Just a whole bunch of stuff about...what was it? Oh yes..._your bedroom_."

"Really? She's never even been to the house."

Yuuki stopped. "What?"  
"I told her about the house, architecture talk with her father. But she'd never been. Who brings someone like her into the Ootori household?"

"Point." Pause. "Why...?"  
"To try rile you up."  
"Ah."  
"Did it work."  
"Not in public."

Kyoya laughed, deep and low. "Remember what we talked about?"  
"No."  
He gave her a questioning look.

"I remember. But you have a clean slate now. It's not written down."  
"You're incredible."

"In a good or bad way?"  
"In an I-have-no-idea-what-to-make-of-you way."

Yuuki glanced over her shoulder at Rose. The woman was watching them with a corporeal eye. Or watching Kyoya as such. She hadn't forgotten. "Kyoya..."  
"I know. I'm sorry."  
She slowed her walk as they passed an alcove. "I've decided. She's not beautiful. She's confused."  
"You don't hate her guts?"  
"I think she hates them."  
"Really?"  
"Kyoya, no one seeks ... that sort of thing unless they think it's going to give them merit. And it didn't bring you any. I think the ambassador's daughter is just very confused."  
"I don't know if that's a compliment or not." He said roguishly.

Yuuki pinched him. "You're such a...man." She smiled. She trusted him, she'd never stopped. "She wants attention, primarily yours, but what she needs is something different..."  
"What?"  
"I have no idea."  
"Seen this case before?"  
"I work at a youth shelter. Every single girl this week has come in wearing miniskirts and heels. I talked to each and they all told me it was because it made them attractive. Loveable."  
"That's not love."

"No. It's not. But they were socialised to think it was. Who's her mother?"  
"Ran off with a Spanish actor and pretends her daughter is her cousin." High point of gossip for a long time.

"Exactly."

Kyoya pondered this a moment and then kissed the top of her head. "You really are odd."  
"Just the town shrink, but thank you." She smoothed his tie and beamed softly at him.

"It was awkward?"  
"Very."  
"Right."  
"Don't beat yourself up. But if you do, I'm not entirely opposed to the act."  
"Be nice."  
"I love you."

"I love you too. Only you."

When you love someone that much, lust for another disappears. It just becomes part of the praise you hold for that which is the dearest to you. That which exists within you.

-_  
Standing by a broken tree  
Her hands are all twisted, she's pointing at me,  
I was damned by the light comin' over all as she  
Spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky.  
She said, walk on over, yeah, to this bit of shade_

_I will wrap you in my arms and hold you safe  
Let me sign, let me sign._

_(Let me Sign, Robert Pattinson)_

_-_

Dinner that night was an event of sorts. Yuuki was seated beside Kyoya, Rose across from him. There was no seating plan, so her entourage had tagged along to the table where the high and respected families had congregated.

"I'm sorry about them." She said, waving a hand at her friends; not one spoke a word of Japanese. "They are wonderful people."

"Then please tell them to stop using profanities." Kyoya said flatly. "Their 'club' talk is not appropriate. Even when they think no one understands. This is not a downtown party scene."  
Rose was a little taken aback at first and then exceptionally pleased. "I forgot you spoke French."

Yuuki was talking to the elderly woman beside her. Discussing Etta James. She was a sweet grandmother, all with millionaire children and an interest in music. She had met her husband while working as a Geisha before World War two. It was a not-so-melodramatic version of Memoirs of a Geisha and the woman was the nicest old person Yuuki had ever met. And fascinating. She trusted her husband with the Ambassadors daughter.

"It's been a while." Kyoya replied flatly.

"It has. Too long." The woman began speaking her native tongue.

The Ootori continued to reply in Japanese, knowing she would get lost in translation eventually. "You like Japan?"

"I do." Rose was drinking wine. "It's beautiful. I was only here briefly last time."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I am aware of the fact."  
She took a sip of her drink. "No hard feelings? My boyfriend needed me." She raised her brows over the rim. "He doesn't need me anymore. Not that one anyway."  
"I don't think feelings were involved at all between us." His tone was flat. Hard. Dismissive.  
"Just attraction." She replied huskily. "Even still."  
"No."  
"No?"  
"No. Rose. Just no." The Ootori said firmly.

"Is this because you're wife is beside you?" Rose smiled. "She's very pretty."  
"This is not because of her. I would say no under any circumstance."  
"Except the one before."  
"No. That was not a circumstance."  
"What was it then?"  
Kyoya paused and examined the woman. She was expecting him to say something that he couldn't imagine himself ever saying. Her ego filled the dining hall. "It was a mistake." It hardly offended her.

"Oh?"  
"Yes. End of discussion."  
"Oh!" She leant back happily. "I get it. You're playing hard to get."  
"I'm not playing."  
"So, you're just hard to get then?"  
"No."  
"You're easy?"  
Kyoya stared at her, fill on. And angry. "Rose. If you do not end this discussion, I will. I am very aware that you told no one because it would wreck you're image."  
"I will tell." She leant forward across the table. "I'll tell that little half-breed wife of yours. I lose nothing."  
"Neither do I."

"So I can tell her?"  
"She knows, Rose."

The woman seemed a little taken aback. "She knows?"  
"Yes."  
"And she doesn't mind?"  
"We weren't together at the time." Pause. "And if you have a problem with half breeds, then why do you chase me so adamantly?"  
"Oh. Kyoya. I have no desire for children."  
"No. Obviously."

"What we had was nothing Rose. A one night stand does not signify anything other than lust. You can't win someone by throwing yourself at them." He was frank. "I don't think you understand what happened."  
"Enlighten me." She'd switched back to Japanese. Picking up that he didn't mind who listened.

"I think you know perfectly well."  
Rose took another sip of wine. "I know what you are."  
"What am I, Rose?"

"The type that see's women as disposable pleasures."

"If I'm not mistaken, you're the one who flew out in the morning."

"I had somewhere to be."  
"I think you used me just as much as I used you."  
"Mmmm." She leant back. "Good party." She changed the topic. "We need better music. And wine."

Yuuki smiled at the woman across the table. Kyoya looked at his wife. She turned to him. Rose watched them. It was like everything had ceased to exist. As if her discussion with Mr Ootori had been expected and accepted by his wife. As if she didn't mind. But she did. She'd not judged it. Nor avoided it. Her tight nature indicated such. But her husband spoke. Simple words. About the table setting. Somehow they seemed to mean more. When their eyes actually met, Rose turned her gaze to the table cloth. She didn't know why. It was like a subconscious privacy barrier, turning people away from something that no one but they understood. Yuuki didn't kiss Kyoya as she would have. It was gentle, soft. Poignant. Rose would have probably driven him into the table and pressed deep. But she saw that Yuuki's effect was greater than any passionate drive. One of the Ambassadors entourage spoke to her. Rose blinked and nodded before asking them to repeat the question. She felt something she had never felt. Jealousy. Towards the delicate half-blood girl and the world she could give. The world perfected by the person she had married. It was a gift, one she didn't understand, comprehend or know how to give.

-

The string quartet didn't much of a chance to play. They were swapped by the DJ who was controlling the sound for the evening. Someone had requested _Fergalicious _and very few knew how to dance to that. Very few except Rose and her crew. They had turned the centre of the floor into a club.

Yuuki stood with Kyoya, near the DJ. He was going to change the song as soon as possible. "That's not dancing."

A group of young men and had clambered into the little group. All of whom were drunk. Kyoya raised his eyebrows. "What is it then?"  
"Foreplay." She said flatly.

Rose stumbled out of the circle and towards them. "Hey! Come dance! It's awesome!" She was speaking in French so Yuuki had no idea what she was saying.

Kyoya, amused by her previous statement, enlightened her. "She wants you to join them."  
"I'm wearing a gown. As are most of the women here. It's very difficult."  
Rose was very, very, very drunk. Very. The first two hours after dinner had been good, relaxed dancing. Light mood. But the ambassadors daughter kept seeing Kyoya and his little wife waltzing and had decided to change things up a bit. Especially after the second bottle of expensive grape. "This is an awesome party. Too many old people though."

"Rose, you're father is here." Kyoya pushed his glasses up while Yuuki asked for a song change. Something more appropriate. Like Etta James.

"I know. He's sooo proud of his little girl. Boy. Can I dance!" She threw her arms around him. Rose pointed a finger at Yuuki over the man's shoudler. "Hands off. He's mine."

Yuuki laughed.

Rose was confused. "What?"  
"No. I was just looking at Kyoya's face."  
"He's pleased. Isn't he?"

The man pushed her off. "Quite the opposite. I assure you."

Yuuki caught the woman as she teetered. "You alright?"  
"No. Of course I'm not alright you...you...little half-blood."

"What's wrong?"

"Kyoya is mine. You hear? He's mine."  
"Why?"  
"Because. Tonight, I decided he was."

The man in question had steered them out of the hall.

"And tomorrow?" Yuuki helped the other woman along.  
"You can have him back."

Yuuki helped Rose balance. "That's hardly fair. You won't even remember."

"I don't care. I just want him."  
"Uhuh. Okay." She held her hand out. Kyoya slid a chair over. Rose was soon settled into it. "Okay" She wasn't letting Yuuki go.

"You have such pretty hair. So natural. Not like mine. It's from a bottle. Most people can't tell." Rose had Yuuki by the wrist.

"That's nice, Rose. That's nice."  
"Why do you get him?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I want him."  
"In what way?"  
"In a way I'm not prepared to tell you about."

"Okay." Kyoya pried the woman's fingers off his wife. She had fingernail marks on the skin of her wrist. "Rose. That's not going to happen."  
"But why?"

"Because, you're drunk."  
"I'll get sober."  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"No. Rose."

Yuuki put her hands on Kyoya's chest and steered him back a little. "I've got this." She whispered. "It's alright. You have guests." He looked at the drunk woman. Yuuki spoke quietly to him. "I can help her. You know I can and you know she needs it. There are too many people like that, Kyoya."

"Then why help one?"

"Because, that one needs it."  
He sighed. Rose stomped her foot on the ground. "That's why." She pointed at them. "What's why I want him." She stared at Yuuki. "I want to be you."

The Ootori let her husband go and turned. "Why would you want to be me?"  
"Because. You have someone who wants you. People only want me for sex. Do you know what that's like?" Odd pause. "The being wanted for sex, not...sex."

"I understand. It's okay. Did you really think getting drunk would help?"  
"No. But it makes it easy. Guy's like to hold you when you're drunk."  
Yuuki knelt beside the chair. "I've been drunk before."  
"No way. Get out!" She was disbelieving.

"No. Really. Ask him." They both looked at Kyoya.

He had a hand in his pocket. "She's being serious."  
"Really?" Rose said, looking at Yuuki. "So you get it then?"

"I get that you'll have a mighty hangover if you don't get some water into you."

"Really?"  
"Really, really."  
"You know, if there was a God, I'd ask him to get rid of hangovers forever."

"Maybe hangovers are God's way of telling you that you pushed your mortality a little too far."  
"Hmmmmmmmm...So. Tell me about when you were drunk?"  
"Well. It was a Halloween party. I got taken out by some friends, they like to play games."  
"Oh! Did you do shots? Shots are fun."  
"I only had one."  
"Oh really?"  
"Yes."  
"You suck at drinking."  
"Yes. Well. I remember vividly keeling over a toilet bowel and throwing up everything I'd eaten that week. I also remember him being very, very angry at me."

Kyoya nodded. Rose frowned. "Really?"  
The man pushed his glasses up. "It has absolutely no merit in it, getting drunk to be drunk."  
"It helps one forget and live in the moment."

Yuuki shifted. Her shoes hurt. "Do you want to remember those moments?"  
"No. So we do it again. And again. And again. And...somehow this topic has veered."  
"You want Kyoya."  
"Oh yeah. I remember."

"Good."  
"Why are you saying good? You should hate my guts."  
"Rose. You'll find the right guy. I promise."  
"How can you promise me that?"  
"Because my mother promised me that."  
"When?"  
"When I was six."  
"Did she promise you when you were sixteen?"  
"She died two hours after she told me."  
"How?"  
"Truck."  
"You're mother was a truck driver?"  
"No. She rode horses. She took me riding and the horse bolted. I fell off, she didn't."  
"Isn't that a good thing?"  
"I fell out of the way. My mother and her horse died."  
"Oh. So falling is good?"  
"No." Yuuki brushed a hair off her face. "No. Falling makes us remember things. Important things."  
"And I have to remember...."  
"That you're worth so much more than what you have become."  
There was a long pause. "I know." Rose leant forward and put her head in her hands. "I know."  
"What are you going to do about it?"  
"I don't know."  
"Why don't we get you back to your hotel. You go upstairs, have a hot shower, drink a couple glasses of water and go to bed."  
"Alone?"  
"Yes."  
"I'll get lonely."  
"You won't get used."

Rose heard the song change. It was the sort of one she would request away from. "Why are you so...good?"  
Yuuki laughed. "Hardly."  
"Mmmm...." Rose let her head fall back against the chair. "I like the sleep idea. I'm tired. I'm sick and tired of everything."  
"Okay." Yuuki looked up. Kyoya was gone. He reappeared a minute later in another door and ushered her over. The girl lifted Rose up. The other woman had promptly passed out and had to be half-dragged to the door.

Kyoya went to help and got told off. "This is woman's business." Yuuki handed him Rose's shoes.

"She's too heavy for you."  
"You're heavier."

The man thought about that statement a moment and decided to let his wife be for the moment.

Rose woke up half way and stumbled forward out of the other woman's grip. "Where are we going?"  
"Cab. Out back." Kyoya said, putting his mobile away.

"Where is the cab taking us?"  
"It's taking you to your hotel."

"Are you coming?"  
"No. Rose. I'm not."  
Yuuki helped the girl down the stairs to the rode that ran behind the building. A car was sitting, waiting for them. "What will you do when you get back?"  
"Um..."  
"Rose. You remember. You're not stupid."  
"I'm going to have a shower and drink water and go to sleep."  
"Good girl."

"Will I not have a hangover then?"  
"No. You'll still have a hangover. But you might remember some of tonight."  
"Do I want to remember?"  
"Yes." Kyoya opened the door and helped guide the drunk woman inside.

"Really."  
Yuuki gave the driver some cash to see she got inside safely. "What hotel Rose?"  
"The Hilton."  
"Okay. What room number?"  
"One hundred and seventeen."  
"Okay. Do you have a key?"  
"Always leave one at the counter."  
"Good girl. Alright." Yuuki stood up and shut the door. "Goodnight Rose."  
"Night...what's-your-face."

The car pulled away and disappeared. Yuuki crossed her arms and turned around, right into Kyoya. "You did good." He said.

"I did what I was trained to do, and what I would have done for anyone." Pause. "I told you she was confused."  
"So, you don't mind..."  
"No. Duh I mind. You were still a jerk. But you're probably the nicest jerk she ever met."  
"Um...thank you?"  
"You're welcome." Yuuki smiled and headed back upstairs. She'd done what she had to do to finally accept what had happened.

Kyoya had acted as Shadow King and made sure it was alright. Or that it was going to be. "You are..."  
"Amazing?" She turned around and bowed on the little balcony before the door. "Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here until..."  
"Forever." He caught her as she straightened and pulled her close.

Yuuki lost her mask somewhere along the night. But it didn't matter. "You know who would be good for her?"  
"Who?"  
"The twins. Or...one of them. Probably Kaoru."  
Kyoya laughed. "That would teach them."  
"Mmmm. I'm glad I did that. I really wanted to kick her..."  
"I know." Her husband cut her off. "I'm glad you did it too."

"Many men left over tonight."

Kyoya ran his fingers down her neck before resting his hand behind it. "We're alright?"  
Yuuki nodded. "Yes. I've seen what you were like back then now."

"What was I like back then?"  
"The sober version of that. Hurt. Alone."

"Absolutely furious."  
"At yourself."

"Mmm."

Yuuki brushed the hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry."  
"For what?"  
"Everything...Losing it at you...For getting drunk." She laughed. "Oh my gosh, its scary seeing what a drunk person is like."  
"You didn't mean to."

"Maybe not...but still." Yuuki sighed. "I guess we're all to blame then."

"Being human is not an excuse."  
"No. But it is a reality."  
Kyoya let her run her fingers down the side of his face and through the back of his hair. He kissed the hollow behind her ear and lingered, her skin was cold. Yuuki liked how warm he was. How warm his breath was.

"What happened to the Cinderella stories all the girls were raised with?" She said quietly. "Surely boys watched them too."  
"They saw the prince getting the girl. And the dragons."  
"And the dragons." She smiled. He wouldn't have seen it. He was running the tip of his nose down her jaw.

Kyoya kissed her sweetly. There was an edge of desperation to the way he did it. As if he couldn't tolerate having it any other way. Yuuki reacted amorously and caught her breath as they lingered in that moment. There were no photographers, no drunk or unsound women, no music, just them and the snow. Finding warmth in each other rather than from anything else. It was a risky business, letting go like that to fall in love, but if you did it into the right person; then it brought you back up again. Higher than before.

When Kyoya pulled away, Yuuki followed and kissed him sincerely. Her husband smiled as she did so and slid his hand from behind her neck and down her spine. Her skin was freezing. It was often hard to tell with her, she was pale enough for no one to notice.

When he pulled away, Kyoya noticed her nose had a slight red tone. "You're glacial."

"Glacial hey?"

"Mm."  
"Sweeping generalisation." She stood closer to him.

Kyoya closed his arms around her for a moment before opening the door inside. "Warm."  
"Yes, sir." Yuuki stepped into the building. "She'll be alright?"  
"Who?"  
"Rose."  
"She'll be fine."  
"And you?" Yuuki knew her husband felt like a moron for not being a gentleman. Even if it had been a long time ago.

"I'm fine." He pushed his glasses up.

His wife folded her arm around his torso as they slipped back into the party. "Don't go be an Ootori. Just stay with me. Please?"  
"Worried I'll run off?"  
"Not at all."  
Kyoya smiled. "Alright."  
"Sweet." Yuuki said smugly.

He fit his hand into small of her back and held her against himself. Enjoying the way she aligned with him. Accepted him.

-

Yuuki lay in bed late that night and watched the snow through the window. It was piling up on the windowpane and then being blown off by a harsh wind. But she was warm under the covers, pressed neatly against her husband. His neck formed a makeshift pillow and she could feel his pulse against her skin. It was steady and didn't falter. The girl pulled the blanket higher over her shoulder. Kyoya shifted as she did so before settling again. He was fast asleep and obviously preferred the current situation to the couch. Yuuki rested her fingers on his collarbone and closed her eyes. He was her world and she was his. Planets never stop turning and lives never stop living. Even when you want it to pause for a moment so you can make it last longer. Linger.

Kyoya had his hand in the curve of her back, the other between her shoulder-blades; holding her near. Even in sleep. They were lucky to have found the other. Incredibly lucky. If they hadn't, they would have lived their whole life through, not knowing what love actually was and settling for a different version of it.

As Murphy would have it, _Put your hands up for Detroit_ started blasting from the bedside table. Yuuki groaned and twisted her head to look at her phone. It was lit up and vibrating, singing its annoying techno tune.

Kyoya growled. His wife twisted in his grip and picked the mobile up. "Turn it off." He grumbled.

Yuuki made a small noise of dismissal and looked at the number. "It might be an emergency." She answered. "Hello?"

"_Yuuki..."_ The voice was gruff. _"...I'm in trouble."_

She looked at the number again. "Dad. Don't call me."

"_No. Wait. Please."_

"No." She didn't want to speak to him. She didn't know what to expect from him.

"_I'm in jail."_

Yuuki felt her heart falter for a second before it picked up again. "Good."

"_You have to come get me."  
_"It's too late."  
"_Come in the morning."  
_"I didn't mean time wise."

"_Yuuki..."  
_"It's too late dad, you made your choice."

"_You can't do this to me."_ His tone got harsh. Just as it always did when he didn't get his way._  
_"Watch me. If you come near this property again, call me, call my house, call my friends; then so help me you will be in jail properly." Pause. She couldn't just cut him off. He was still a human being. "Call Mako."

"_I can't. I just used my one phone call."  
_"Think before you do something. Why would I let you out?"  
_"Because you were the softest."_

"Pay bail." Yuuki spat.

"_Cant for three days."_  
Kyoya took the phone and put it to his ear. "Sleep sweet." He turned it off and put it on his side of the bed.

Yuuki was staring at the ceiling. "What do I do with him?"  
"Leave it."  
"But...I helped Rose. How come I can't help my father?"  
"Because, sometimes you need someone who wasn't a direct part of the problem to solve it."  
"Do you think that someone at the youth home, one of the psychiatrists, would be able to see him?"  
Kyoya pulled her back to him. "You don't want a psychologist?"  
"I'm pretty sure drugs will be needed."  
"I don't think you should see him again."  
"Neither do I, but...I want to see him off, metaphorically, on a good note." Maybe that's why she hadn't said goodbye properly. Let go.

Her husband inhaled deeply. Fighting sleep for a short while. "Okay."  
Yuuki kissed his throat. "Sorry. Sleep."

"Okay." Kyoya was half way there anyway. He'd never even come full awake. He was surprised he hadn't thrown the phone.

His wife paused a moment before settling properly against him again. Her father was in jail and she found herself not even wondering why. That is what it had come to. He had abused her trust that many times. Yuuki wondered if she even still loved him. If she ever had for that matter. The girl sighed and buried her face against Kyoya and pulled the covers up to the bridge of her nose. Hiding.

Kyoya couldn't deal with the issues between Rose and himself, Yuuki couldn't deal with the ones between her and her father. She was too biased in the situation. To used. Too much bad had happened between them for them to repair it properly themselves.

Kyoya exhaled gently into her hair. It was warm and comforting. Yuuki relaxed and marvelled that, even in sleep, he could help her in a way she couldn't herself. Surely if she could accept his misdemeanours...no. She'd always known her father. Everything he had ever done had impacted her directly. Somehow, it was a similar situation with no similar answer. All because of the degree of relationship and the lax attitude toward fixing it. Kyoya had wanted her. Dearly. He had been prepared to sleep on the couch until she was ready to take him back, but he never once left. She'd never left him. Never given up on him. Even now, Yuuki hadn't given up on her father, but she couldn't help him. She just couldn't help a man who didn't want _her_ but only what she had to offer. There are some things love is required for. And it just wasn't there. And never had been.

Yuuki didn't feel hurt by the revelation, just enlightened. It had always been there, she'd just never put it into thought.

Kyoya opened his eyes. "What?" His tone was almost a growl.

"I didn't say anything."  
"You didn't have too."  
"Sorry."  
"Talk to me."  
"There isn't anything to talk about. It's over. I can't help him, I never loved him, or not in the way I should have. He made that impossible. The only way I can help is by getting him help."

"Sometimes you just have to decide what's good for you and what you thought was good for you."  
"You're good for me."

"Mmm." Sleepy.

"I'm good for you."  
"Mmm."  
"Pickled eggs and maple syrup."  
"Mmm."  
"Yes. I thought so."  
"Hn...what?"  
Yuuki laughed softly. "Sleep."  
"You first."  
"Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"...okay."

Kyoya made sleepy patterns with the fingers that rested on the small of her back and gently ushered her to sleep. As soon as Yuuki's breathing pattern changed he stopped and pulled her closer before disappearing with her. The next morning, he called a friend who owed him a favour and had Shang Cunxin taken out of jail and put into rehabilitation. Just like his wife had done for him the night before, there were certain things someone else had to do for you. Someone who loved you enough to put themself in a situation they aren't comfortable in but are prepared to enter, just so that they can move on.

-

_I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared  
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared  
After my dreaming I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving when I'm done here  
So if you're asking me, I want you to know  
_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
And don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

Don't be afraid, I've taken my beating  
I've shared what I made  
I'm strong on the surface; not all the way through  
I've never been perfect, but neither have you

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well

_Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
_

_When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
And don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty keep me in your memory  
Leave out all the rest, leave out all the rest_

_(Leave out all the rest, Linkin Park)_

_-_

--------

_Expect a short delay in posting. I'm rather busy at the moment and will be for a few weeks. Sorry if that's a problem, please tell me if it is and I'll maybe cut down the length of the chapters or do something if you have a problem with it. Sorry. _

_Anyway. Hope you enjoyed that chapter. ^-^_

_Please let me know what you thought. _

_Constructive criticism welcome._

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	34. Chapter 32

-

**Chapter 32**

**-**

The frustrating thing about driving manual...is driving manual. It just is. Especially when you have no idea how.

"There's three pedals." Yuuki stared at her feet with discontent. "Like...three. I only have two feet."

"You don't use them all at the same time." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

They were on an abandoned airstrip that was part of the old Tokyo airport. In the distance planes were landing and taking off, but nearby there was nothing except a squadron of the Ootori police force; just in case.

"And this, what's this?" The girl pointed at the gear change.

"That's what you change gears with."  
"Shouldn't the car do that itself?"  
"It's a manual."  
"So...clutch in, change gear, accelerator on."  
Kyoya sighed. "Handbrake off." He pushed it down. The car moved forward slowly. Just rolling. "Now, clutch in, into first."

Yuuki did that.

"Now, off the clutch and onto the accelerator."

The car jumped around a few times and then stopped abruptly. "I killed it." She looked at him. "Did I?"  
"No. You just stalled. Try again."  
"Okay." A minute later, she did it again. And again. And again. Yuuki crossed her arms on the steering wheel the seventh time around and put her head down with an exasperated sigh. "Remind me why I need to learn to drive?"

"So you can get places."  
"I can get places." Pause. "Without breaking you're car." Longer pause. "And, why manual?"  
"If you can drive manual, you can drive anything. There is just one big straight line. All you have to do is keep going up gears and then stop."

"Alright." Yuuki started the engine again and managed to get into first.

"Clutch. Gear. Off clutch. On accelerator."  
The girl went all the way to fourth and then decided she was going too fast. "Do I need the clutch in to brake?"  
"No."  
"Okay." She flattened the middle pedal and almost sent her husband through the windscreen. "Sorry."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and tried to register if he'd had a heart attack or not. "Try again."  
"No."  
"Do it."  
"I've had enough. I hate this."

"Yuuki. You'll do what you're told."  
"You're not my parent."

"No, but it's my car."

"Then I'm getting out." Yuuki undid her seatbelt.

Kyoya caught her wrist as she reached for the lock. "I'm going to teach you to drive."

"I don't want to know how."  
"To bad." He did her seatbelt up again. "You spend way too much on cabs."

"It's my money."  
"I don't care. I'm getting you a car and you'll know how to drive it."  
"I'm not getting a manual."  
"Yuuki. We both know you can drive when you're in an emotionally unstable state. So you can drive."  
"I'm emotionally unstable now. I almost killed you."

"Then drive."  
She stalled the car again and growled in annoyance. "I hate you."  
"Just drive."  
"I hate you."  
"Yuuki. You're driving."  
"Good."  
"Okay. Slow down."

"No." Pause. "Why is the car making that noise?"  
"You can't go that fast in first."

She changed up a gear and stalled. "I hate you. And the seatbelt. And this chair. And this car." Yuuki had never been so frustrated in her life.

Kyoya petted her knee. "Want me to show you how?"  
"No." Yuuki growled. "I can do it."  
"Then show me."  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"Just...trust me. I can do it."  
"Stop bluffing."  
"I'm not bluffing."  
"Yuuki."  
"Okay. I can't drive." Pause. "Why can't I drive?" She leant her head back and tried to strangle the steering wheel without her husband noticing.

He pried her fingers loose and told her to relax.

"Are you relaxed?" Yuuki looked at him.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. Again. "You just took ten years off my life."  
"Okay. Well, I need to take them off mine too. So, hang on a second." She started the engine. Drove in a straight line and went from first to second back to first. The car stopped abruptly and then started to roll forward lethargically. Kyoya put the handbrake on and stared at her. Yuuki smiled illicitly. "Okay. We're even."  
Kyoya sighed. "You can't go first to third like that."

"I was in second."  
"You were in third."  
"How did I get into third?"  
"You didn't put it into second."  
"Wow." Pause. "I suck."

Kyoya undid his seatbelt and walked around the side of the car to take the wheel away from her. Yuuki happily accepted his offer. Her husband helped her out of the driver's seat. "I decided. I'm more comfortable with you in a cab than I am with you driving yourself."  
"Thank you." Yuuki breathed.

"Just get in."  
Yuuki rounded the bonnet and crawled into the passenger seat. "Okay."  
Kyoya turned the engine. It spluttered. He tried again. It died. He turned to Yuuki. She looked guilty. The girl opened the passenger door and began a innocent, nonchalant walk back to where the police van was waiting. They had coffee. And Advil. Kyoya put his forefinger against the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. She'd broken his car. He pulled his phone out and called for a tow truck.

"Yuuki?" He caught up with her a minute later. "What did you do to it?" Stalling couldn't break it. Not unless it was some serious stalling and a snap to the clutch.

"I..." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I...uh...might have...uh...put it in reverse when I went back and broke the gearbox. Like what I did to that nice little VW."  
"I told you expressly not to do that."

"Well...I didn't mean to."  
"Then why did you do it?"  
"Like I said, I didn't mean too. The little button under the stick...thing...the thing in the middle of the car...I might have squeezed it in when changing gear. And moving forward." She shrugged. "Some people were born to do things, and others to not do things. Driving was one big fat to-don't on the list of things to do before I die."

"Right." Kyoya put his hands in his pockets.

Yuuki looked at him innocently. "Sorry."  
He glanced at her and then stared down the empty runway.

"I'll buy you a new one? A better one. One with personalised plates. Or something."  
Kyoya ignored her apology. "You know what this runway is?"  
"The one I broke you car on?"  
"Try again."  
"The one with the..." Yuuki looked around. "...is this...?"  
"Yes."  
"Why are we here?" She looked around. "Why _this_ runway? I hate this runway. No wonder I wrecked your car on it."  
Kyoya kept walking. There was a scuff mark on the tar. Too thin to be plane tyres.

Yuuki looked at it and then stood in front of her husband, he had to stop walking. "You don't pick things by accident. Why this strip?"  
"I just wanted to drive down it without losing something."  
"Well..." The girl looked over his shoulder at where the car sat. "I seem to have done it again."

Kyoya brushed the hair that was blowing on her face away. "I also wanted to remind you of something."  
"What?"  
"It doesn't have to end the way you started it."

The girl thought a moment and shook her head. "I don't get it."

"Let's try again."  
"Oh." Yuuki stared. "I...don't want to do that again."  
"You came here again and it was fine. You can go back to a place without going back to the place it hurts."  
"I can't go through that again, Kyoya." The girl looked at her feet and then back up at him.  
"You still want a child."

His wife looked back to where the van waited for them. "Yes. No. But I _can't_. Physically. Kyoya, I'm..." She put a hand on her torso. "It doesn't all work properly." Yuuki looked at him. "I'm sorry."

Kyoya put his hand over hers. "You said we couldn't be together. You said you couldn't go to university. You said you couldn't do anything but ride."  
Yuuki went to say something but didn't. Instead she let herself lean forward into her husband. He put his spare arm around her back. "I don't want IVF or anything like that."  
"It's still possible to do it without assisted reproductive technologies."

"Human being talk, please."  
Kyoya smiled. "You want this. I know you do. And you're beating yourself up over it."  
"I know. But, it stills feels like my fault."

"Just tell me you'll try."  
Yuuki breathed. "It takes two people." She looked at him. "Do you want to?"  
"I sacrificed my car."  
"So it's profitable?"  
"Even if you don't get pregnant." Kyoya said haughtily.

The girl smacked him good-naturedly. "Okay."

"Okay?"  
"You have a deal. Doctor already said I'm infertile, but hey. What the hell. Let's just go to town otherwise."

Kyoya laughed.

Yuuki started walking again. "Does this mean I don't have to buy you a new car?"  
"Don't push your luck."  
She grumbled and kicked at a stone that had been displaced from beside the tarmac. Her husband took her hand and they travelled together. Down a broken strip. Them on it, together, proved that it didn't have to be. Things could happen the way they wanted them to, the way they knew deep down they were supposed to. Why Kyoya had risked his life and car, Yuuki didn't know. Lord knows it wasn't for a driving lesson. But she was glad he did.

-

_I don't know if you can hear me  
I'm feeling down and can't think clearly  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me_

I'm sorry for the things I've said  
But some thoughts just won't leave my head  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me

Some things I'd change but it's too late  
I'd take the past and make it straight  
Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again  
I don't know if you can hear me

Even though it's complicated  
We've got time to start again

_(Start again, Death Cab for Cutie)_

-

Yuuki sat crossed legged at the desk in the study and wished she knew the least bit about architecture. As an Ootori, she was allowed to extend the empire; she'd put forward plans for a new house for the youth that seemed to be flocking to the current one. None of the people there were homeless, they just needed to sort some things out before returning to a normal lifestyle. Yuuki had met a girl a few days before who had just had an abortion. She wasn't sorry like all the stories said she would be, she was relieved. But for some reason, the Ootori had to pass her on to another psychologist. It made her uneasy that a girl, five years younger than she was, could fall pregnant at the drop of a hat and she couldn't. A one night stand produced more of a change of spawn than she did.

Yuuki ran her hands through her hair and sighed. The piece of paper in front of her seemed endlessly boring compared to what she had envisaged. There would be a lake and a garden and a tea house. Boarding rooms that were actually nice and offices that were comfortable. Something to help those who had come for it.

"I would offer you coffee, but Aimi is going through an 'experimental' phase." Haruhi beamed from the door.

A dark haired, blue eyed child burst from behind her mother's legs and ran as fast as her short legs could take her until she collided with Yuuki's calf. Unfortunately, she had misjudged her speed and hit her head on the chair arm before the one who was seated in it could swivel around to avoid the catastrophe. Aimi started to yell and held a chubby hand to the offended area.

"Oh." Yuuki picked her up. "I wanted to say hello to you too. And then you went and used your head and obviously thought purgatory was a better idea."

Aimi had no idea what the woman had just said but stopped crying at the word _purgatory._ She stared with big wet eyes.

"Hello lovely." The Ootori said with a smile.

The child threw her arms around the girl's neck and let out a small cry of delight. Tamaki appeared in the door, deep in conversation with Kyoya. Haruhi pulled on his shirt and pointed silently at Yuuki as she kissed the up and coming red mark on their daughters head. Aimi giggled as the woman pulled her yellow beanie over her eyes and stood up.

"What brings you hither? It's late." Yuuki put the little girl on her feet, only to have a small hand latch onto the bottom of her skirt.

Tamaki leant on the door frame, his arm above his wife's head. "The need for friendship. What else?"  
Kyoya kept a fair distance from the man's son who had just had a bottle of milk and looked remarkably sick. He shrugged in the background. Kenji sneezed.

"He still sick?" Yuuki managed to walk to her friends with a small being attached to her clothing.

"No." Haruhi turned to the boy. "Well, yes. But he got over the last one and just caught this one. He's the plague baby. Aimi was the opposite."  
"Oh." The woman wouldn't know. "Okay." Pause. "He's alright?"  
"Yes." Tamaki bounced his son. "Hey? Want to go to Kyoya?"

Kyoya held his hands out in protest but the message got misinterpreted and a baby ended up in them instead. "I..." He eyed the child.

Haruhi took her daughters hand. "Tamaki had to talk to Kyoya about business. Aimi wouldn't let him out of the house."  
"Ah." Yuuki now understood why the whole clan was in the doorway of the study. "No. That's fine. I wasn't going to bed for a while yet. Tea?"

A minute later, she and Kyoya were in the kitchen. Kenji was still attached to the man's collar and kept sneezing. His wife took the baby and balanced him on her hip and told him to make the tea. "What business?"  
"The Suoh Group has hit a tight spot as the economy slowly collapses...how did you say it? ... like a flan in a closet again."

Yuuki laughed. "Yes. Well. What can you do for them?"  
"Give advice. They are still rivals."  
"Okay. They'll be fine though?" Tamaki and Haruhi were in the living room, trying to settle Aimi down after she face planted the wooden floor. Just because you found your feet doesn't mean gravity stops applying itself.

"The Suoh's will never be less than extraordinarily rich."

"Ah. Right." Kenji coughed. Yuuki flinched. "If you make me sick...I have to finish my reports. So don't." The baby sneezed. The girl had a long suffering expression on. "Kyoya..."

"If it was ours, you'd love him."  
"But it's not. And it yells."

"They tend to."  
Yuuki eyed the baby on her hip. "I'm...rethinking this whole 'trying again' thing."

Kyoya chuckled. "I think we both know the odds of it actually happening soon."

"Yes. Well."

"It'll happen."

"I don't...."

The man passed her by with a tray laden with cups and a tea pot. "You can." He kissed her forehead. "We can."  
"Just because we can doesn't mean it will."

"We can try." He smiled smugly and continued his path to the lounge.

Yuuki leant on the counter and eyed him impishly. "Don't turn out like that." She said to Kenji. "Use your head a little more when you grow up. Okay?"  
The boy responded by throwing up. The woman handed the baby over to a laughing Haruhi and went upstairs to change her shirt.

-

Three days later, Yuuki had a virus. She'd finished her reports, but could do nothing more than blend in with the white sheets.

"You look...dreadful." Kyoya stepped out of the bathroom, doing his tie up. For the first time in months, he had been the first person up.

His wife groaned and pulled the covers above her head. Her head was heavy, her stomach thought it was a ship and her throat felt as if it had been rubbed with a metal scrubber. "I didn't mean to break your car. Its karma."

"You don't believe in karma."  
"It believes in me."  
The mattress gave slightly where Kyoya sat on it. Yuuki felt his hand on her hip through the covers. "Am I calling someone?"  
There was a small noise and then a muffled reply. "I hate doctors. No doctor. No."  
"I'm a doctor."  
"Technically."

Kyoya peeled the blanket down from her face. "I meant someone from work."  
Yuuki waved a hand in dismissal. "I'll go in. I'll feel better after...water."

"Mmm. You're going nowhere." Pause. "I'll call my mother."  
"No." The girl sat up. "No. Why?"  
"To see if you could sit up." He wrapped his hands around her neck and felt her glands.

"That wa..."  
"Stop talking."  
She decided to obey for the first time. When he was done, Yuuki fell back onto her back. "Why do I feel like death warmed up?"  
"Because you let that Suoh child throw up on you." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I'll get you something from the hospital."

His wife nodded and closed her eyes. A moment later, she felt him kiss her gently. "You'll get sick."  
The man brushed the hair off her face and scoffed. "Maybe I could take a real sick day for once."

Yuuki laughed softly. "Maybe." She sneezed, her whole body vibrated in a way that only worked if it was her. Yuuki was one of few who could sneeze with her entire being and not just her nose, and still manage to be a lady about it.

"I can work from home today."  
"No." The girl shook her head. "I'll be okay." She remembered the last time she'd ushered him off to work and pushed the memory aside.

Kyoya picked his Blackberry up; the iPhone had been thrown at a wall thanks to Tamaki, and looked at his schedule. "I have to be in a meeting at ten. But I'll come home after that."

Yuuki sniffed. "Okay." She put an arm over her eyes, her head hurt. "Kill me."

"Today is about profits, not losses." He kissed her goodbye. Kyoya stopped at the door. "Stay there."  
His wife waved a hand at him. "No problem."

When Mr Ootori returned home, he found a pair of Twins in the living room, casually watching TV. "Get out."

Hikaru and Kaoru turned around and grinned at him. "Welcome home."  
"Out."

"Why?"  
"I didn't invite you."  
"Yuuki did."  
Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

Twin one shrugged. "Well, she tried to call Haruhi and hit Hikaru instead. So we came over to make her better."  
"Where is she now?"  
"Upstairs."  
The Ootori examined the pair. "What did you do?"  
Twin two scowled. "Nothing."  
Kyoya sighed. "Okay. Get out." He pointed in the direction of the door.

The pair grumbled and rose from their chairs. "This is because of the TV incident, isn't it?"  
"No. This is a you-continually-annoy-me incident."

"Oh. It can't be helped then." They said, beaming, before slipping out and shutting the door.

Kyoya wondered what they had done and went upstairs to see. Yuuki was sitting up in bed, reading a book. She looked up when her husband came in and shut it happily. "Hello."

"Why were the devil type in the living room?" Straight to the point.

"I accidentally called them instead of Haruhi."  
"What did you need Haruhi for?"  
Yuuki shrugged. "I was bored."  
Kyoya looked at her. She seemed a little to bright for someone who had been hiding from the world that morning. "What did they give you?"  
"Um..." She thought for a moment. "Two tablets. Five minutes later when I said I still felt awful, they gave me two more."  
"What tablet?"  
Yuuki pointed at the bedside table. Kyoya picked the box up. "You took four codeine tablets in less than an hour?" His tone was serious.  
"Less than ten minutes actually." Pause. "Why?"

The man scowled. "Codeine is an opiate. If the twins aren't getting you drunk, their getting you drugged." He was annoyed. "I won't even bother asking how you feel because you won't know."

The girl stared at the box. "Ha." She opened her book again.

Kyoya watched her. "What?"  
Yuuki ignored him.

"Yuuki, it's in your best interest."  
"Well, if that's the case, then don't make it feel like a guilt trip. How am I supposed to know?"  
"Who takes four tablets in ten minutes?"

"I don't know. Gee. Come on. You didn't even say hello and you're getting mad at me for a mistake." Yuuki closed her book again and glared at him as she lay down facing away from him and pulled the covers over her head.

Kyoya sighed and sat down beside her. "How long ago did you take them?"  
"Nine." Came the muffled reply.

It was nearly one, she would feel like nothing was wrong until the middle of the night. "Did you seriously not know?"  
"I had a headache."

"That bad of a headache?"  
"Yes."  
Kyoya ran a hand over his face. "How do you feel now?" There was a small, muffled noise form under the covers. It was her new hiding place. "I'm sorry I got mad at you." Silence. Sometimes one just had to start again. "Hello, I missed you today."

There was a flurry of blankets before Yuuki latched onto her husband with a happy smile. "I missed you too."

Kyoya steadied himself a second. "Are you feeling better?"  
The girl didn't let go. "Remarkably."  
"Really?"  
"Deep down, no."

The man smiled. She wouldn't. "That's what happens when you overdose."  
"I didn't overdose."  
"Not intentionally."  
"I hate doctors. Stop it."

Kyoya laughed softly. "The Ootori group is about creating happiness for its patients and public."

"Mmm...like that overly successful jungle water park whatever."  
"You liked it."  
"I liked it until Deedle Dee and Deedle Dum decided to show off their mothers new swimsuit line on me."  
"You didn't have to say yes."

Yuuki pulled back slightly from her grip and looked at Kyoya. "Do you think I said yes?"  
Thoughtful pause. "No. Probably not."

"And then I had funny swimwear lines for like...months. I don't tan. Except in the places you've set to 'tanning weather'. But then it faded."  
Kyoya let his wife hold him for a few moments more before telling her to lie down again.

"You haven't told me about your meeting."

"It started. Everyone suggested some brilliant ideas. I accepted their proposals and told them to go forth and write a draft."  
"Were these brilliant ideas related to the articles that suitably found their way onto respective desks the week before?"  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "They might have."

"Convenient."  
"Very."

Yuuki laughed. And then coughed. And then decided to lie down. Codeine works like a watered down version of morphine, but it doesn't discourage the cause of the pain from occurring.

-

Kyoya spent until sundown in the study, contacting contractors in France and Britain about the construction of the hospitals over there as well as the possibility of opening a leisure resort for those associated with the Ootori group. Riveting stuff. But it would ensure a copious amount of money made it from overseas funds and into his family. The pound was still highly desired as a currency.

Yuuki was watching _Slumdog Millionaire _in the lounge when he finally emerged from behind his desk. She'd started to lose colour again but was happily sipping a cup of tea. "I like this movie."

Kyoya collapsed on the couch beside her. "What happened?"  
"Not a lot. I just started it."

"Okay. When the scene with the autograph comes up, be prepared to run."  
"Why?"  
He raised an eyebrow at her.

Yuuki blinked slowly in a way only the physically unwell can do. "Oh. Yes. No. I know what you mean."  
"Why are you even watching this?"  
"Because, I feel like it. You should be interested. Indian Economy. The incredibly rich and the incredibly poor."  
"No. That's culture. That's what you're interested in."

"Mmmm." She ignored him behind her tea-cup.

Kyoya waited for her to put it down before pulling her against him.

"You'll get sick." Yuuki sniffed.

He ignored her.

"You will." She looked up at him. "You're not invincible."  
"You're not arguing."  
Yuuki relaxed some. "Don't say I didn't tell you so."

Kyoya liked having her close. Even when she was discoloured and smelled like eucalyptus. "Okay."

-

"I told you so."

Kyoya growled and rolled over, three days after the prophesy and one after his wife had recovered.

Yuuki sat on the floor on his side of the bed, dressed in track pants and singlet. Her hair was wet from her recent shower and she seemed very pleased indeed. "You can't say I didn't."

"Just put your boots away." He hissed. She'd just come in from her ride.

His wife did so and then returned to her original position. "Does your stomach think it's a rollercoaster and your head think it just got detached from your shoulders?"  
Muffled, unhappy mumble.

"Aw, darling." Yuuki turned around and smiled at the back of his head.

Growl. Turn over. Stare miserably whilst managing a touch of morning demon in there somewhere.

The girl brushed the hair out of his face and tugged the covers down so he could actually breathe. "Want some coffee?"  
Kyoya sat up and held his head in his hands. "Yes."

"Well, you can't have any. You can have orange juice; your immune system will love you for it."

"I have to go to work." He groused.

Yuuki stopped him from climbing out of bed by placing a steady hand on his clammy one. "You're going nowhere."

"I ha..."  
"No. You can't drive."  
"Neith..."  
"No. Stop talking. You can't even think. I know."  
"I can think." He flinched as his head sent a shaft of pain through his eyes.

Yuuki slid his glasses out of reach. "Okay. What is the capital of South Africa?"  
Pause. "Pretoria; legislative, Cape town; administrative, Bloemfontein; judiciary."

"Ha." The woman said sharply. "You got one out of three. Pretoria is the administrative capital, Cape town is legislative; not vice versa. But yes, Bloemfontein is judiciary."

"What country has three capitals anyway." Kyoya snarled.

Yuuki pushed his shoulder down. "Uh. South Africa. Duh."

Her husband fell back against the pillow, offering no resistance. He moaned about something.

"I'll get you some tea. I can do video calls today. I'll ring Su." Su was the head of the current Youth House. She knew that the teens were good with Yuuki, she'd let them use the webcam in the Ootori's office.

An hour later, Yuuki was sitting crossed legged in the lounge attached to the bedroom where Kyoya lay like a victim of the plague. He refused to take codeine. There was a large pot of green tea and orange sitting on the bedside table. It ensured not only that he would drink something, but also that the room smelled less like death and more like citrus.

"Hello Chou." The girl said quietly, glancing into her room to make sure Kyoya was still breathing.

"Hey." There was a thin teenager on the screen. "Where are you?"  
"At home."  
"Is something wrong?"  
"My better half is infected with the pestilence."  
The girl looked confused.

Yuuki smiled. "He's got a virus."  
"Oh. Right. Tell him get better."  
"You can when we're done."  
"Is he good looking?"  
"I think so."

"Well, you would."  
"You can google him. My husband is on google. Isn't it cool?"  
"You're on google." Chou rolled her eyes but was obviously clicking to the internet. "What's his name?"  
"Kyoya Ootori."

There were a few tapping noises and then a short pause. "Oh. I like."  
"Yes. Me too." Yuuki smiled coyly. "Anyway." She breathed. "Enough of my disgustingly sick marital status. What did you do yesterday?"  
Chou closed the search engine so she could pay attention. "I talked to my parents. They say I look better."  
"You do."  
The girl scoffed. "You're paid to say that."  
"I'm not paid. At all. I actually mean that."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. Really, really. What did you have for breakfast?"  
"I didn't."

Yuuki leaned back against her chair. "It's important."  
"So they say."

"No really, if you're going to skip a meal, skip lunch. But make sure you have some carbs in the afternoon and late morning."  
"Ew. Carbs."  
"Yum. Carbs. Pizza, pasta, bread..."

Pause. "What did you have for breakfast?"  
"I had..." Yuuki thought a moment. "Toast with Philadelphia cream cheese on it."

"Was it good?"  
"You should try it."  
There was a long silence.  
"Chou, I know it's hard. But it's not going to get easier unless you help yourself. You need energy to help yourself and energy comes from food."  
"I know..."  
"Why do you want to be so thin anyway?"  
"Have you seen the models?" The girl looked through the net at the Ootori. "Their all so thin and beautiful."  
"I'm a model. Technically. And yes, I'm not emaciated, I like food. Health, not size is the key. Some people were born tiny, some huge. You have the structure that a million girls would kill for. You just need to fill it in."  
"No...but, you're a model. It means you're beautiful."  
"You know...if I called the guy at Vanity Fair right now and told him about you, he would want a look for himself. Seriously. But I know for a fact that he would tell you to gain ten pounds. At least."

"Really?"  
"Do I lie?"  
Accepting pause.

"Look, I promise to give him a call if you gain those ten pounds. Okay? And don't go eating a million cookies to do it. Do it the healthy way. Alright?"

Chuo's face lit up. "Really?"  
"Really, really." Yuuki nodded. Vanity Fair would. Chuo had the face shape of an angel. Proud with huge eyes and thick lashes. The girl had the features of a supermodel. She was just much too thin, even for a catwalk.

"You're awesome."

"You're pretty awesome too, but go hither and eat a late breakfast."

"Okay."  
"A healthy breakfast. If I hear tomorrow that you had just a grape I will come and haunt you." Pause. "I'll bring my infected husband and have him breath his germs all over you."  
"Oh. Any day." Came the laughed reply.

Yuuki smiled and said goodbye before turning her webcam off.  
Kyoya had moved. He was on his stomach; his arm was hanging over the side of the bed, closely followed by his head. The girl put her laptop down on the coffee table and kneeled by him. The man snarled when she peeled him off the side of the mattress and rolled him onto his back.

"You're not being very intelligent." Yuuki said, fixing the blankets. "I know that lying in a position that has the potential to cause suffocation and _death_ is very comfortable. But it's not smart when your airways are already swollen and filled with snot."

"That's disgusting." Came the heavy reply.

"You're the doctor."  
"I'm the doctor..." Kyoya sounded sleepy.

Yuuki sat beside him and shook her head, smiling softly. "Who knew that an Ootori's Achilles heel was a little bug?"

Actually, it was a pretty awful bug. "Little bug?"  
"Yeah."  
"Yes." He corrected.

"Whatever." Yuuki leant forward and kissed his forehead. "Sleep sweet."

There was a mumbled reply and then rare obedience.

-

Two days after that, Kyoya was walking around the house, trying to find his laptop.

"Yuuki!"  
"INBOX!" She called down the hall. She was trying to work on her own.

"Put it on my desk." Came the reply. He'd found it.

"It was." Yuuki turned around on the couch and looked down the corridor to where the study was. "It just wasn't _on_ the desk. It was in the inbox on the desk."

"It's not quite the same thing." Kyoya appeared in the doorway with Marvin.

"Yes, but you're overtly analytical."

"And you have issues with your laptop. Plug it in to the wall power."

Yuuki smiled congenially. "Would you like some tea?"

Pause. "Yes."  
"Do you still have a headache?"  
Kyoya smiled. "Yes."  
His wife hit save on her computer and shut the lid before disappearing. Procrastination. When she returned, her husband was reading her report. "How..."  
"Marvin."  
Yuuki scowled. He'd hacked her. "Invasion of privacy."  
"What privacy?"  
"Personal privacy. Personal bubble. No touchy." She waved a cautionary finger.

"Yuuki, we share a bubble."

"Yes, and it got you sick. Let's rethink boundaries." She sat down and pulled her laptop over. "Like...stay on your side."  
Kyoya looked at the couch. "You're on my side."

"No..." Yuuki shifted over slightly. "I'm not."

"You were."  
"Drink your tea." She stubbornly looked at her screen and then glanced at him. The laptop was closed and put aside. Kyoya was laughing quietly to himself. Yuuki threw a couch pillow at him. It missed by a few centimetres. The man put his cup down and stared at her blankly before picking the pillow up and tossing it back. Yuuki hurled it at him again, he was still laughing. Kyoya tossed it back. She pegged it at him. It missed. Again. Her husband picked it up and handed it over once more. Amused. In humoured frustration, the girl took the decorative plush and leant forward, using the momentum to land on him pillow first. Yuuki left it on his lap and laid her head on it.

"Lose interest in the 'personal bubble' ideology?" Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"It was overrated."  
"And you can't aim."  
"No. No. I really can't." She said solemnly. "Not at all." Yuuki shook her head.

Her husband looked at his now occupied lap and then at his laptop and then back at his wife.

Yuuki half sat up and put her elbow on the armrest, surveying the man audaciously. Kyoya slid his hand behind her neck and kissed her with abandon.

-

_You're kissing me  
And saying I'm the one you need  
To keep you warm  
And lay with you tonight  
Baby I feel the same way  
I don't want to leave  
Wanna hold you close  
And feel your love inside  
Close to you a little longer now  
It's hard for me to break away from you  
Never could resist you_

_(Stay the night, Mariah Carey)_

_-_

The weeks blurred into months and soon spring was back again. Suki was six months with her second. Aimi was learning to talk. She could make coherent syllables. Kenji could crawl.

Yuuki still couldn't get pregnant.

She and Kyoya decided not to turn to fertility treatments, they were still young. The age that many couples got married at. They had married very young and still were a few years on. Yuuki joked that Kyoya's brain had only just stopped developing fully so he should stop trying to cram so much into it. He kept saying that Tamaki kept trying to kill him when they played basketball, so it was a fair go at replacing that lost information. Impasse was a comfortable part of their relationship. He had his life, she had hers. They were still themselves, despite belonging to another.

Even so, not being able to get pregnant hurt Yuuki. It was like she was failing at something that she couldn't control. Like waking up and being told she had an exam on a topic she'd never learnt.

"Kyoya?" It was late. The moon seeped through the curtains and gave the room a soft blue edge. "What if...what if I can't? What if it's impossible?"She stared at the ceiling.

Kyoya shifted and spread his arm across her waist and pressed his forehead against her temple. He was fast asleep.

Yuuki turned her head slightly and looked at him. She traced the lines of his arm with her fingertips and quietly drew patterns on his shoulder blades. The girl smiled delicately as he shifted again, ever so slightly. His other arm was tucked just above his head, his stomach flat against the mattress. Yuuki let her hand rest on his elbow where and put the other in his hand, locking her fingers into his.

Kyoya didn't move again that evening. He just slept beside his wife and was content. If that was all he had left in the world, the ability to rest with her, then it would be enough. It would take a lot of getting used to, but it would be enough. Yuuki slept lightly. She knew that she could be perfectly happy without a child, but the fact that they both wanted one made her feel a little nervous. She'd always tried to make her husband happy, it made her happy. But to see something they both wanted so fervently begin to become an unlikely reality was like waiting to miscarry again. Waiting for the shame and the disappointment. And she was afraid. Even if she got pregnant, she was scared. Scared of failing again. Of losing it again. Of feeling a life stop inside of her that was half her own.

Yuuki lay, tangled with Kyoya, and thought about it. She wanted a child. She wanted to see them come to life as one person, as something to cherish. Suki kept asking when she would get pregnant, Haruhi kept telling her there was time. But the Ootori didn't want any of that. She just wanted Kyoya. Just them.

In the morning, Saturday morning, Kyoya woke up first. Yuuki was asleep, wrapped in him. He kissed her temple gently and then the corner of her jaw. The girl woke up and looked at him with a personal brightness. Kyoya didn't say good morning, he just pulled her against his form and cradled her there. Yuuki nestled into the curve of his neck and said a quiet hello.

Her husband traced the ridge of her spine. "I love you."

The girl closed her eyes again. "I love you too."  
"You know what?"  
"What?"  
"If all that was left of you was your smile, I'd be happy."  
"Just my smile?" Yuuki thought a moment and then understood.

"I'd be happy with yours. But not completely."  
"Mmm?"  
Yuuki smiled. She stretched her neck up and kissed him. "A smile can't do that."

Kyoya laughed quietly. "It can't do many things, but it makes me happy."  
"I don't want you to just be happy. I want you to be euphoric."

"Mm?"

"Mm."  
"How do you plan on doing that?" His tone was smug.  
Yuuki kissed him again. And again. And again. Until he understood completely and wanted to give the same back. If they were all each other had left in the world; it would be okay. They could be much more than happy with just the other. Even if they were missing out on something they wanted; they wanted the other too. And it was enough. It would always be enough. Yet, even enough leaves a little space left to be filled.

-

_From now  
Until forever  
And ever, my darling  
Forever  
You will always be the only one  
You will always be the only one_

As long as I shall live  
I'll hold you dear

_And I will reminisce  
Of our love all through the years_

From now  
Until forever  
And ever, my darling  
Forever  
You will always be the only one  
You will always be the only one

If you should ever need me  
Unfailingly, I will return to your arms  
And unburden your heart  
And if you should remember  
That we belong together  
Never be ashamed  
Call my name  
Tell me I'm the one you treasure

_(Forever, Mariah Carey)_

_-_

------

Again, I apologise in advance for late posts. I'm trying, but I don't want to force anything. Every day is to much at the moment, please look to every two or three. I'm sorry. If you have a problem with it, let me know, I'll see what I can do.

I know this chapter is shorter than most, but it was much longer. I cut out a whole chunk because it didn't fit with this chapter. Fits perfectly with the next though. ^-^

Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you thought. I love your reviews.

Blessings,

-pp


	35. Chapter 33

-

**Chapter 33**

-

The host club liked Spring. A lot. They conducted themselves like individuals in an amusement park for a large majority of the season. The cherry blossoms came out and tea parties in the garden were imminent. Or, grand parties during daylight hours where women wore pastel dresses and men played polo.

Yuuki sat under a giant umbrella and watched the game. A large majority of the players had no idea how to ride. They were dropping like flies and needing medical assistance to reinflate damaged egos and bruised backs. The girl lost interest quickly and dropped her nose back to her book. Tachi was riding Zero and the pair were basically the only players. Tamaki had adopted a huge white stallion that was to full of itself and testosterone to actually do more than prance proudly in circles and chew the bit while its rider yelled from the saddle. Mori was doing reasonably well, but kept having to catch Hunny as the landed gentry kept trying to rid the blonde from the field as he kept yelling their tactics. Of the twins not much could be said. They were riding chestnut warm bloods, playing some game that only they knew the rules to.

"Men..." Suki said flatly. Her husband scored a goal and had pulled his shirt over his face and tried to gallop away like that.

Haruhi put a hand behind her head as a gust of wind threatened to throw her hat from her head and into the rose bushes behind. "Let them have their fun."

Everyone was at the house of a man who had inherited a great deal of money and threw magnificent parties. Something like Gatsby, only less conspicuous and with a much higher IQ. He was also Kyoya's sisters husband and very well respected. Kyoya was riding with his brother in law and friends; only he could predict the motions of a long golf club and get his head out of the way in time. To him, polo was a giant, physical, game of chess with no rules.

Yuuki glanced at the game. "Who's winning?"

"Who knows." Suki sighed and put a hand on her swollen stomach. She was seven months.

The Ootori put her book on the table that held their tea. Haruhi picked Kenji up from where he was playing in the grass. "I bet you could do better than they are." She pointed out to Yuuki.

The girl stirred a silver teaspoon through the now cold liquid in her cup and smiled idly. "I bet I could too."  
"Oh!" Suki sat up. Her friends got a fight. Pregnant women should not make loud noises. "You and Kyoya vs...the twins."

"Eh?" Hikaru and Kaoru took that moment to ride past and pulled their borrowed horses up abruptly. "What's this about us?"

"Just saying." Suki smiled warmly. "That Yuuki here, and her hubby, could kick your butts at a two on two game of polo."

"Is that so?" Twin one.

Twin two raised his eyebrow. "I'd take you up on that bet."

Yuuki wasn't ruffled. "She's joking. I have no interest in the matter."

"Is it because you're wearing a dress?"

"That would be a large factor in my decision."

"What if we could say...get you some riding clothes?"

Yuuki raised an eyebrow. "No."

"Why?" The pair seemed very happy indeed. Very pleased and very proud. They needed to fall off and land on their egos. "Fuyumi, surely has a pair of jodhpurs for you."

Kyoya's sister was standing under a large cherry blossom tree, laughing gaily at something one of her friends had said. Suki looked over. "Yeah, I'm sure she does."

"It's irrelevant." The Ootori picked her book up again.

"Aw. Please?" The woman begged, leaning over the side of her chair. "Please?"

The squadron of men had been interested by the sudden non-motion of two of their players and abandoned their game. "What's going on?" Tamaki breathed, turning his head to look over his shoulder as his mount moved annoyingly in a circle.

"Yuuki's going to team up with Kyoya and play us at polo." The twins said mischievously in unison.

"I have no interest in 'prison rules' thank you very much." Yuuki looked up against the glare of the sun.

"Aw." Fuyumi's husband rode to the front of the mob. "Come on dear, my wife has riding clothes you could borrow. She's taller than you are though."

The woman sighed. "What's in it for me?"

Kyoya decided to take that moment to be a plotter. "Let's say, if we win, the twins buy my new car."  
"And if you lose?" The Hitachiin's said in unison.

"Irrelevant." The man said with the devils smile. "We won't lose."

"If you lose, then...we get exclusive rights to use Yuuki as a model for our swimwear collection."  
"No." The girl protested. "No. I refuse. No."

"If you don't compete, it's like losing." The twins said smugly.

Yuuki knew where this was going. Tachi petted Zero's neck from his place in the saddle. "Want mommy to ride you? Yes. Me too." He grinned at his student. "Come on Yuuki."

The girl glared at Suki who shrugged.

Kyoya's brother in law rode over to his wife and she came over and smiled broadly at Yuuki. "Oh. What fun!" Her voice was like a bluebird. "I've always wanted to see you ride up close."

The younger girl was picked up by her elbow and led towards the house. She protested quietly, not wanting to cause a scene, but half an hour later was pulling on a pair of leather gloves and fixing stirrup lengths.

The club was the right length and the girth tight enough to keep her in the saddle. Kyoya was smiling roguishly. Yuuki stared at him. "You don't even like riding."

"No. Maybe not." He pushed his glasses up. He had somehow worked out how to keep them on. "But I like beating these two."

"Uhuh."  
"You won't have to buy me a car."

"And if we lose?"

"We won't."

"Be a little open minded Kyoya." Yuuki was not happy. People had gathered to watch.

"I won't mind." There was a certain amount of profit in the worst bet for him. His wife smacked him lightly with her club. He laughed. "You like riding. Just have fun."  
"I like my dress. It was all pretty...and pastel yellow like sunshine...and my hat was all lovely race wear...and..."  
"And you can wear it again when we're done here. It's not sunset yet."

"Heels down." She snapped at him. "If you fall off, it will be on your head."

"Uhuh." Kyoya smiled slightly as he rode beside her to the middle of the field. This game was going to end their rocky relationship with the Hitachiin empire. It was a friendly match with benefits.

Hikaru and Kaoru looked very _Ralph Lauren Polo_ as they waited for the opponents to meet them. "Ready?" The chorused.

Yuuki shortened her reins. "Do you even know how to play? Looked like you were just hacking grass earlier."  
"Then...pray. Do tell us." Twin one said sarcastically.

"Alright." Yuuki sighed. "You score by driving the wooden ball into the opposing team's goal using a long-handled mallet." She waved her club casually. "The traditional sport of polo is played at speed on a large grass field up to 300 yards in length, this will have to do. Team should be four riders, but obviously we're getting egocentric here..." She looked at their blank faces. "Okay, whatever. Gentleman's rules."  
"Now that, we get." The twins said happily and dropped the ball on the ground and began riding away for the start.

Yuuki scowled at her husband and turned Zero away, stopping at the end of the field. They were playing rough prison rules. And it pissed her off royally.

Kyoya looked incredibly smug as he rode beside her. "Think of the merit..."  
"Shut up." She snapped.

He laughed quietly.

"Shut up." Yuuki didn't look at him.

"You're very moody."  
"I am not." She said flatly.

"Then smile."  
His wife flashed him a fake grin and turned around to wait. "Stay on the horse."  
"I love you too." Kyoya managed to say just before the game began.

Zero took off. The twins did the same from the other end of the field, but Yuuki got to the ball first. She smacked it down the grass and sat upright again as her horse raced after it. The twins had to turn sharply as she shot past them and smacked the ball again. After a minute, she'd scored the first goal. Kyoya hadn't even moved. He'd just sat at his end of the field and watched contentedly. Yuuki decided that he could sleep on the couch that night.

"Best to three." The twins said flatly.

Three was quick. The Hitachiin's lost in less than half an hour. Yuuki dismounted as soon as the game ended and led her horse to a water trough. A tide of watchers crowded around her and petted the girl's back and her horse's shoulder. Thanking her. It seems someone had bet on the Ootori team and come into a large amount of money as such. This didn't help Yuuki's now almost foul mood.

Kyoya was standing on the other side of Zero, tying his mount up. "You just made a lot of people happy." He said, surveying the happy group as they separated away from the sweaty horses and found patches of cooling shade.

"So that was that was the point? Making people happy and making enemies out of the twins?" She tugged her helmet off.

"Why are you upset?"  
"I didn't want to play polo. I hate polo. It's a gentleman's sport and I am a gentleman's daughter. I also don't like being used."

"You made Tamaki happy." Kyoya said.  
"How?"  
"You just saved the Suoh Empire."

Yuuki paused. "How?"

"My brother in law is a gambler. Very good one two. But he's a little stupid. Didn't know you'd ever ridden in Beijing or London and bet against Tamaki."  
"There was betting?" She was not impressed.

"Yes. Of course. This is the landed upper class. Betting wont impact their lifestyle if its occasional and for leisure. Tamaki won the money needed to kick the life back into his business. AKA; rehire all the people that got 'let off' as a result of the recession." Kyoya walked around Zero until he stood near his wife.  
Yuuki stared at the blonde as he put Aimi on an empty saddle and pretended that she was on a real horse. "Dare I ask, how much was bet?"  
"Do you want to know?" Kyoya said lightly.

The girl hesitated. "No. Not at all."  
"Are you happy now?"  
"No."

"Why?"  
"You forced me to ride in front of all those people when I didn't want to." It's not like she could have not ridden, it would have put a little stain on the Ootori reputation.

"You like riding."  
"Yes. But, why do I not like competing?"  
Kyoya paused. "Ha." He mused.

"Ha indeed." Yuuki loosed Zero's girth. "You didn't even score."  
Her husband rested a hand characteristically on his hip."No. You needed to let some steam off." He was joking, but obviously serious.  
"Oh indeed." Yuuki's tone lightened at his comment.

"I was keeping my head out of the way."  
"Yes. Good idea." The girl threw her helmet at him.

Kyoya caught it just before it made impact with his head. "Why is it that you can't aim until you're angry?"  
Yuuki shrugged. "I can't aim until I'm angry."

He handed the item back over. She pretended to throw it. He didn't flinch. Kyoya just raised an eyebrow.

His wife picked at the satin edge of the helmet. "I was going to miss."

The man put an arm around her waist and pulled her into him so that he could kiss the top of her head. "I'm glad."

Yuuki turned out of his grip and headed for the house so she could change. "You're still sleeping on the couch." She chimed over her shoulder.

The twins overheard this last statement and gave Kyoya hell for the rest of the afternoon. That evening though, they found the couple laughing under the trees near the porch. The light from inside made the situation warm, the darkness made it demure, mysterious. A Yin and Yang setting. They were wandering like shadows while the party upstairs extended into dinner. It was like they themselves were a secret. Like the locked room in tall tower. Everyone knew it was there, it was tangible and touchable and breathable, and yet completely unknown. Unless you knew how to get inside.

Hikaru leant on the balcony and stared out. "Kaoru? Do you think we can still tease Kyoya?"  
"No." His brother sighed. "I don't think we can."

They watched in silence. Like ghosts that saw everything and told it to the wind. Some would call them rumor starters; they would say the Brothers Grimm. Yuuki was brushing the falling petals off her husband's shirt. He picked them out of her hair. The wind kept thwarting the clean-up efforts and in the end the girl stood on tiptoe and kissed her husband gently in an act of adoring spontaneity. He wrapped his arms around her waist and joined himself to her.

The twins put their chins in their hands at the same moment and for a second didn't mind having to buy Kyoya a new car. Seeing a creation that fought and hurt and cried but found love and hope and cherishment through it all made it alright. There was a moment that they had to turn to each other. As if pleasantly repelled from the sight. As if they were intruding and unconsciously needed to back away. The shadows were glowing and it could never be understood, and never seen. They had their walls, their secrets. And for a reason. It had always been like that. And always would be.

Yuuki pressed her lips to the corner of Kyoya's jaw before slipping back to her feet. Even in the dark, it was obvious she still blushed. Even still, everything was new. Like time had not worn them down. Not in the least. Like nothing could break through the barrier and shatter them. They were the bulletproof glass of the world. One could see into it, but never comprehend how everything on the other side stayed so adored, so honored. Bets said it didn't make sense. But it was such that the gamblers didn't know the full story.

-

_It fits in your hand like the water in rain  
It unlocks our two different selves _

_And shows we are the same  
_

_It is as if  
I knew you before we spoke  
Do our hearts know something we don't?  
Conspiring, converging  
without giving us any say_

_You sing me to sleep,  
talk down my walls  
Look through my windows as I wait  
You could be the thief  
I give the key to_

_(The Thief, Brooke Fraser)_

_-_

Yuuki caught Hunny as he threw himself at her. She had just been shopping and had just got mugged.

"YUU-CHAN!" The blonde beamed. "I haven't seen you in like...two days! Let's go get some tea and catch up."  
The girl stopped the spinning. "Hello." She looked up. "Hey Mori."

The bear-like figure said a pleasant hello.  
"What are you doing here?" Yuuki put Hunny down and let him climb up his cousin.

"We went to the movies...and then had cake...and then..." Hunny recounted their day. The Ootori listened. There had never been friends more inseparable than Mori and Hunny. There was a peculiar attachment, based completely on loyalty, between them. It was pleasant to see.

"Sounds like fun." The girl smiled.

"What have you been doing?" The blonde peered down from his cousins shoulders.

Yuuki held up a few bags. "Shopping."  
"What did you buy?"  
"Oh. Um." She thought a moment. "I bought a new pair of shoes, a shirt, a shirt for Kyoya, uh...Aimi's birthday present and a candle."  
"What did you buy Aimi?"  
Yuuki held up a bag and indicated that there was a giant panda plush inside. It was the cutest toy she had ever seen and wanted to hug it herself. Hunny wanted to see and grabbed the bag. Pretty soon, Mori had to pry the man off the gift and hand it back while the blonde wailed in dismay. _  
_Yuuki swiftly dug into another bag and pulled out a packet of candy. She knew that Kyoya would never eat it and she would take ages to get though it or do it all at once and spent the whole day jittering on sugar. Hunny would have no such problems and promptly stopped his wail when offered the bag.

"For me?" He took the candy.

"Yes. I guess so." The Ootori shrugged. "I wasn't going to eat it anyway." Pause. "Oi. Share with Mori."  
"Oh. Sorry Takashi." Hunny offered the bag. Yuuki smiled and told them she had to go.

After a cheery, dizzy goodbye, she finally got free and stumbled into the nearest store to gather her bearings. It was a pharmacy. The girl looked around and wondered if she needed anything from there. They'd run out of Advil. Or probably had. Work had been busy and both she and her husband had been downing it like oxygen. Eight hours after the previous dose; of course. Yuuki picked up a new bottle and wandered through the shoulder height aisles.

There were mountains of hair-dye, a lot of pain relief tablets, manicure sets, make-up, more pain relief; the world was obviously in a lot of pain, and then the last aisle. Yuuki paused and glanced at the pregnancy tests. She just stared at them for a minute. The last one she'd bought had come up negative. And the one before that. And the one before that. Her cycle had become so irregular that she couldn't tell what was going on anymore. It was unnerving for a woman, to not know the intimate details about herself and have to use guess work and cross her fingers.

"Hello." A happy voice called. "How may I help you?" A shop assistant appeared at the girl's side.

"Oh. I'm just browsing, thank you."

"Can I take those and put them on the counter?" The woman held her hands out for the items Yuuki carried.

The Ootori handed them over and said thank you, yes she could do that.

"Are you the girl from the Chanel advert? The one for that perfume?"  
"Um. Probably." Yuuki smiled warmly. Now that people knew who she was, she had to fulfill a role model image.

The woman seemed a little awed. "I bought that perfume because of that ad!"  
"Really?"  
"Yes. _Repentance._ I mean...wow. It was fierce."  
"Oh. Thank you." The girl nodded politely.

"Anyway. I should go put these down." Pause. "Do you need any help?"

"No. Thanks. I'll be fine." Yuuki smiled sincerely at her. "Actually, I need to go."  
She paid for her purchases and left the store. Her mind still half on what it had been taken with before the shop assistant had disrupted her thought pattern.

A baby. Yuuki knew deep down that falling pregnant was worth it, she just didn't know if it was worth going through the uncertainty of her pain again. If she was ready to spend the first four months on edge, wondering if everything was okay, and then the next five praying that it was okay. Pregnancy was supposed to be joyous, and she'd know that to a certain extent. But it had hurt her to the point where she was cautioned against it; even though it was something she ardently wished for.

The impasse was confusing. Yuuki stood on the curb and waited for a cab and tried to push the thoughts aside, knowing that sometimes that her troubles would lead her away from them if only she listened to them. But she wanted to be happy. Another impasse. A bus passed by. On its side was the symbol of the Ootori group and the words _to make it worthwhile_. It was the advertisement catch-cry of the season, making private healthcare worth someone's while.

Yuuki juggled her shopping and hailed a cab. _Worth her while. _Was a baby worth her while?

Yes.

Was she prepared to go through with it?

Yes.

Was it even possible?

The Ootori told the driver where to go and sat back. It could be possible naturally. It could be. It was impossible to predict when the right time to conceive for her was, but sometimes kismet happened. Yuuki prayed kismet would happen. Maybe. She felt a few butterflies in her stomach. Her own butterflies, not those caused by a child moving inside of her. She missed that. She felt a pang of loss knowing that she would never meet the first being that made her feel like that. Like someone telling her a secret that no one in the entire history of the universe would ever, ever know. A best friend who trusted. And who had then been destroyed. By her. Even if she didn't do it directly, Yuuki knew her body was responsible. If the embryo had successfully implanted, she would have a child that day. She would have a daughter. With Kyoya's grey eyes and her cheekbones.

Yuuki ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Her phone went off. The Ootori didn't even look at caller ID.

"Hello?"  
_"Yo." _Suki. She was probably satisfying a craving of some sort. _"What you doing?"  
_"Driving home."  
_"I'll see you there."  
_"Is something up?"  
_"I'm at suicide risk." _Her voice was incredibly humorous.

"Okay. Why?"  
_"Because. I can't find Jasmine. We were playing Hide-and-seek and now I'm sick of seeking."_

"Tell her I'm on the phone."  
_"Not yet."_

Yuuki laughed. Jasmine had just started trying to hold discussions. Most of which were made up of the words 'ma', 'da' and 'cow'. "Honest, you lost her?"

"_She's...probably on the couch someplace."_

"Then look at the couch."  
Suki dropped her voice to a whisper. _"No. She is on the couch. She's just got her hands over her eyes and is giggling like a daisy. I haven't found her. Hint, hint."_

"Is Riki there?"  
_"Riki is in Switzerland with her parents."_

"Oh. That's right." Pause. "If you're pretending that you're trying to find her, why are we talking about you being a suicide risk?"  
_"Jazz doesn't know."_

"What does she know?"

"_That I'm on the phone, talking to someone about her."_

"Ah."

"_Oh. I've been meaning to ask you. And the only way is to be blunt."_

"No. I'm not pregnant."

"_Darn it. How did you know I was going to ask?"_

"Because half the world, especially the half that is dominated by Kyoya's parents, keep asking."

"_And you say..."  
_"No."

"_And the reason is?"  
_Yuuki hadn't told Suki. She hadn't told anyone. "Um. Just..."  
_"Don't start a question with 'um'. What happened?"_

"Another time."

"_Something happened to you and you're acting shockingly caviler about it."_

"Yes. I'm fine. Where's Jazz?"

"_Peeking." _Pause. _"So, Yuuki..." _There was a happy squeal as Jasmine discovered who her mother was talking to._ "Oh. I see how it is."_

"Yes. Yes. I'm the one who spoils her rotten."  
_"And shouldn't. You're ruining my child. She's demanding." _Pause. _"Found you! Want to talk to aunt Yuuki?"_

The Ootori waited. A little voice carried down the line. "Hey girlie."

"_Yuu..."_

"That's right."

There was a delighted laugh and Yuuki could see the child putting her fingers in her mouth in joy at her correct answer.

"Having a good day?"

There was silence. Jasmine was nodding, thinking Yuuki could see her.

"That's good. Look, I have to go." The house had come into view. "Tell your mommy goodbye, okay?"

"_Nu!"_

"Jazz, I have to go. Go hug mommy."

Suki came back onto the line. _"I have a growth."_

"Hugs?"

"_More like...attachments."_

Yuuki laughed. "Okay. I have to go." Pause. "I'll see you sometime."  
_"Okay. Chow."_

"Bye."

Click. Yuuki paid the driver and pulled herself out of the cab. Jasmine was an amazing little girl. So bright she basically glowed in the dark. She loved everything and everyone. Even Kyoya. One evening at Suki's, the child had latched onto the Ootori's leg and not let got for half an hour. Jasmine was smitten. All he'd done was high-five her when she held her hand up at him. To the baby, it was as if he'd given her the world. In the end, she'd fallen asleep and Kyoya had to catch her before she took herself out on the floor. Children have a talent of being able to hurt themselves on flat, smooth surfaces.

Yuuki wondered what Sayuri would have been like. If her laugh would have been like bells or chimes. And then if her cry sounded like a train wreck or bus smash. The Ootori unlocked the door and closed it behind her once inside. She sighed. Children were joy. Her own child would be an extension of her and her husband's love as well as that. It would be their personal story in one little being. Yuuki put her purchases on the bed and tied a big gold bow around the neck of Aimi's birthday gift. Kyoya's shirt would become a new favorite of hers. After he wore it a few times and made it smell like him. It was navy blue, three quarter sleeves and button up. _Rodd and Gunn_ perfection made from sixty percent Merino wool.

Speak of the devil and he shall come. The door downstairs clicked and then clicked again before opening. Kyoya was greeted by his wife, holding a big, black and white panda plush.

"For me?" He put his briefcase down. "You shouldn't have." His tone was humored.

"No. It's for Aimi."

"Oh yes." Kyoya crossed the foyer and kissed her lightly hello. "Good day?"  
"I went shopping." Yuuki adjusted the bow on the toy. "How was Dividing and Conquering?"  
"Successful."

"You're home early?" Pause. "I'm not complaining though."

"The hospital in Britain was finished yesterday. So our current project got handed over to London today. Give them a week to set up. There was not that much to do."  
"In other words, everyone else would have drowned in paper work, but you make it home easy."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Basically."

"What did you learn today?" Yuuki followed him to the kitchen and took a cup of coffee from her husband before climbing onto the bench top.

"That emotional girls should wear mood rings so we know when they're ticked off."

"Ooo. Sounds evil."

"Dakota," His new secretary. "...decided that my office was a mess and cleaned it." Yuuki flinched. She'd learnt that lesson. Kyoya smiled oddly. "Yes. Well, I asked her where my mouse was. The cordless one. And turns out she'd thought it was a hand massager and put it in the ensuit. It got wet. I told her she was paying for the next one and she quit on the spot." Pause. "After throwing an exceptionally spectacular tantrum."

"So you spent the whole day without a secretary?"  
"Basically." He took a sip of coffee.

"An Ootori without hired help!" Yuuki pressed her hand flat against the side of her face in mock horror.

Kyoya smiled. "Mm. Shocker." He put his mug down in the sink. "Are you going to hang onto that panda all afternoon?"  
"No. Just for now."  
"You're about to get coffee on it."  
Yuuki intelligently put the plush down. "Yes. Probably, knowing my track record." She looked out the window. Zero was grazing in the paddock. When she looked back, Kyoya was very much in her face. Literally. Yuuki started. "Oh my gosh. Don't." She had almost fallen off the bench top and spilt coffee all over herself.

Kyoya laughed deeply. "You never expect a thing, do you?"  
"No." The girl put her mug down and scowled at him.

Her husband leaned on his arms which were placed on either side of her. "Maybe you should learn to."  
"I like surprises."  
"But not the build up."  
"No."

Kyoya pressed his mouth to hers in a lovesome manner. "Surprise."

Yuuki blinked. "Yes. I like that."

Her husband stood straight again and stared at the panda. "That's not from a toy store."  
"No. It's from a little boutique that hand makes teddy bears."

Kyoya considered the idea.

"I was thinking today. About children."

"Yes?"  
"I don't want another negative test."  
"How many have you done?"  
Yuuki counted in her head. "A few."

"A few too many. If it happens, it happens."  
"I know...but you're not the lady here." Pause. "Obviously."

Kyoya put a hand in his pocket and scrutinized his wife.

"What?" She asked.

"Just thinking."

"Dangerous past time."

"Mm."  
"What about?"  
"How to make you stop worrying."  
"Why aren't you worrying?"

"I'm expecting."  
"Easy for you." Yuuki crossed her arms.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "This is exactly why we don't try like other people. It's stressing."  
"And you're all about happiness and stuff."

"And stuff. Yes."  
"I kno..."  
"Uhuh." The man put a finger over her lips. He thought a moment.

"Ky..."  
"Uh." Pause. "No."

"Wh..."  
"Yuuki. Stop talking."

She grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "Why?"

"I'm thinking."

Yuuki shook her head and slid onto the floor. It was less dangerous on the floor. It wasn't so far away. She grabbed the panda in case he tried anything; plush shield. Kyoya stared out the window as his wife washed their coffee cups and put them away. "You can't stop me worrying." She said leaving the room. "Just like I can't stop you thinking."

The man leant on the bench top and watched her leave. Yuuki had a point. He couldn't stop her worrying, but he could lessen it. He understood her, but there were many things that were a mystery. It's what had drawn him to her to begin with. Yuuki was different. She didn't stand out or blend in. She just was. The product of her upbringing and experiences. The exact fit to her personal mould.

His phone rang.

"Ootori." Came the flat answer.

"_Kyoya?"_

It was his sister. "Yes, Fuyumi."

"_Just wondering what you're doing tomorrow night?"_

"I'm going out."

"_Really? Where?"_

"To the Suoh's."

"_Oh. Come over to our house and invite Tamaki and Haruhi."_

"I wasn't aware that we were dining at your house."  
_"Well, you are now. I'm inviting you. This very moment."_

Kyoya sighed. He already had other plans.

"_Oh. Please Kyoya? Mom and Dad are coming over and I need you."_

"Is that the only reason you asked?"  
_"No. Of course not. You're the brother who I was closest to. You're very special Kyoya."_

"Invite Tamaki. If he wants to come, we will too." Yuuki was going to kill him. But Fuyumi and he had always been close. With Tamaki and Haruhi, his wife could ignore his parents.

"_You're amazing Kyoya. Thank you." _

"Okay. Bye."

"_See you tomorrow!" _

"Possibly."

"_Definitely."_

Kyoya laughed lowly. "Good evening."

"_Night!"_

Click.

There was a soft, almost indistinguishable rumble from behind the wall that the sink was in front of. Yuuki was in the shower and was draining the hot water supply, even though it was spring. Odd soul. Big soul. Kyoya shook his head and collected his briefcase from the hall and deposited it in the study before heading upstairs and finding his new shirt spread in a manner that cried for viewing.

Navy didn't suit him that well. It suited her though. He'd encouraged her to wear it.

If it was the thought that counted, Kyoya could guess where Yuuki's were when she bought the shirt.

The girl appeared from the bathroom, wearing sleeping shorts and waving a towel through her hair. "Do you like it?"

"For me, no."  
She smiled. "Just wear it a few times."  
"For who?"  
Yuuki threw the damp towel into a laundry basket just inside the bathroom. "Oh. No one." She waved her hand dismissively. I thought it was a nice cut and color.

"Hm. For who?"  
"You."  
"Uhuh."  
"Just...wear it." She said flatly and picked her new shirt up and hung it in the closet. Along with the black one she'd bought earlier.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and watched her flit about the room. "We're very probably going to Fuyumi's for dinner tomorrow."  
Yuuki paused as she sprayed conditioner in her damp hair. "What about Tamaki?"  
"He's coming."  
"Okay..." Pause. "Wait." She stared at her husband. "Your parents are going to be there. Aren't they?"

"It's quite the possibility."

Yuuki sprayed the detangle spray at him. "Quite."

Kyoya waved the mist away. "Haruhi will be there."  
"With her children." Her tone was ever so slightly resentful.

"You like the kids."  
"Maybe. But I still don't like children overall. Especially after the boy's latest incident. Remember that?"

He did remember. Sort of. Kyoya had been incapacitated for a few days as a result. "Yes. I remember."  
"Mm."

"You'll get thrown up on by your own child one day."  
"Joy."

Kyoya sat in one of the armchairs by the window. "You say that as if you don't see it happening."  
"Perceptive."

"Annoyed."  
Yuuki thought a moment. "Why?"  
Her husband watched the night begin to seep into the deeper parts of the day. "You're a pessimist. But only regarding this topic."

"Well, what do you expect me to be?"  
"Neutral if anything."  
"Would you be neutral?"  
"I would try."  
"Would you succeed?" Yuuki waited for his answer.

Kyoya paused to ponder the question. "No. Probably not." Pause. "But you're still not justified."

"Does it upset you? My being...a pessimist?"

"It bothers me to see you torturing yourself. It was not your fault and you can get pregnant again."  
"Not according to statistics. And it was my fault, I didn't carry right."

"Statistics never once applied to us. If we were dictated by statistics, we would be divorced and one of us would have already remarried."

Silence. "...true...but somewhat irrelevant." Yuuki ran her fingers along the top of the panda, it lay on the corner of the bed. Staring with unseeing eyes.

"You're saying that because this is physical, not mental, it applies?"  
"Yes." She filled in hesitantly.

"I think you're wrong."

"Well, aren't you Mr Brightside."

Kyoya was a little annoyed. But not at her. The song was not stuck in his head. "You wouldn't keep buying the tests if you didn't think it was possible."

Yuuki dug her toes into the pale carpet. "Maybe."  
"Am I ever wrong?"  
"Sometimes."  
Raised eyebrow.

"Okay. Rarely."

Smug grin. "Come here." Kyoya opened his arms.

Yuuki crawled into his embrace.

"Do you trust me?"  
"...yes."

"Then do."

Silence.

He pressed his hand firmly against the back of her ribcage.

"Okay." Yuuki twisted. It was uncomfortable. Not unpleasant, but uncomfortable."Okay, I'll take your word for it."

"Good girl."  
She pinched his arm. "Blackmail."

Kyoya's lips turned up in evil agreement. "You'll do it though."  
His wife stared out the window. "Yeah."  
"Yes."  
"Whatever." Yuuki took his fingers and let them slip through hers. Like water. Water could get trapped. By doubt. Fear. But it could create a new path. It could escape. She had him. He had his angel. And when God was involved, all things became possible.

-

_Like a child having nightmares  
I will run into your arms  
I'll give you all of my cares and  
This world will do me no more harm_

I want to stay longer.  
I made you a place within my heart  
With you I'm so much stronger  
That's why I'm glad we'll never have to part

_(When you're around, Relient K)_

_-_

Halfway through dinner that night, the phone rang. Yuuki picked it up. Kyoya listened, wondering who had disturbed them at a time when everyone was doing the same thing. Probably a telemarketer.

"Hello?" Pause. "Slow down. Slo...Yes. He's here." She glanced at her husband. "Yes, I know." Dead silence. Yuuki's voice faltered. "W...what? No." She kept looking at Kyoya. "No. It's impossible. How?" Pause. "When? No. Yes. I'll tell him. Okay. See you there." She hung up and held the phone, her fingers clenched so hard around it that her fingers went white.

Kyoya waited. "What?"  
Yuuki started to speak; she looked him directly in the eye. "That was your sister."  
"Yes?" He didn't seem all that bothered, just expectant.

"Kyoya, your father had a stroke." The man halted and stared at her. Yuuki was banging the phone against her palm. "We have to get to the hospital."

The man breathed audibly. "Now?"  
"He...your sister...he's on life support."

"What type?"  
Yuuki put the phone down so she didn't break it. She didn't say anything. The type that means their already gone, except they still have a working body. That type. The type that lets relatives say goodbye before washing them wash of color and completely abandon the body.

Kyoya's jaw was clenched tightly. He nodded solemnly, slowly. "Alright."

"Alright?" Yuuki watched him. "Kyoya..."

"What?"  
"I'll call a cab."  
"No." He said firmly. "I'll drive." Yuuki put a hand on his shoulder as he walked past her. He paused and looked at her fingers out of the corner of his eye before moving out of the room. "Get changed."

Half an hour later they were exactly where they never expected to be. The retired king of the Ootori Empire was lying in pale blue, toneless sheets, a monitor beeping steadily. They had been the first ones there. Even before his wife. Kyoya, the third son come first, stared at the man he should have called father but never did. Not truly. Yuuki stood ever so slightly behind him, giving him space.

The door slid open and Fuyumi rushed into the room and stopped abruptly beside the bed. Her brother watched her arrive from the other side and then slid his eyes back down to the man in question.

Fuyumi put a hand over her mouth and started to cry. "No...dad..." She gripped the bed railing but didn't dare to touch him. No one would dare to touch him. Not without his consent. It could never again be given.

Their mother strode into the room, her chin dropped slightly. She was wearing all black, already. She didn't go first to her husband, but her son's wife. "This is family only." Came the flat statement.

Kyoya didn't look at her, but he radiated a stern form of anger.

"Get the little witch out." The woman hissed.

"Mom, don't..." Fuyumi said unsteadily.

"No. Don't tell me what to do, daughter. There will be nothing but respect here. If she wants to wait for her husband, let her do it outside. If she wants to mourn, let her do it there."

"You speak as if he's dead." Came a deep voice. The second brother stood just inside the door with a little blonde woman beside him. She clutched her handbag and looked like a scared rabbit.

Yuuki put a hand on Kyoya's elbow and squeezed gently before slipping past his mother at the end of the bed and into the hallway. He watched her go silently. Knowing she would wait for him and come back in if he wanted her too. But part of respecting those about to depart was the ability to respect those who needed to say goodbye. She wanted to say goodbye to the only legal father she really had. A father-in-law. But she wanted to give the family space.

The first son appeared at the end of the hallway. His leather shoes clicked on the floor of the hospital. He slid the door to the suit open, glanced sideways at Yuuki and then entered. He didn't shut the door entirely, letting his sister-in-law in on some of the happenings.

After an hour of murmurings and sobless silence, a continual beep took over from the steady intervals. Yuuki closed her eyes and felt a drop of moisture ski down her cheek and into her lap.

It just happened.

Just like that.

Only, there were no angels to guide this man home. If he'd ever had one. Yuuki knew, deep down, that Kyoya would have been like that.

Half an hour later, the door slid open and the mother exited. She stared at her son's wife before taking her mobile out and calling her driver to come pick her up. Her make-up hadn't budged.

After two hours, the three eldest siblings slipped into the darkness of near-midnight.

Yuuki stood at the door to the suit and looked in. Kyoya was standing as he had been three hours before. The beeping had stopped. Someone had pulled a sheet over the hard, emotionless face.

The girl opened the door and stepped inside before closing it fully behind her. She went straight to her husband's side and delved her fingers into his. His grip was like a vice on her knuckles.

"He never once asked me how my day was." Came the flat reply to her act. "And, I never cared."

Yuuki let her spare hand rest over their locked ones. "You loved him ,Kyoya. I know you and I know you did."

"Did I love him for him, or for what he allowed me to become?"  
His wife stood silent. "Does it matter?"

Their voices were like whispers, only unhushed. Kyoya sighed. He was cold. "I can't even cry for him." Fuyumi was the only one who could. She'd left the hospital with little hiccups. "I could have been him."  
Yuuki stared at her husband. "I could have been my mother. But I wasn't. We could have been our baby. But we weren't."

Kyoya loosed his grip on her hand. "Thousands will be at the funeral. Not one will cry."

"Would he have wanted them to?"  
"He would have said they were all weak. Everyone died. Dynasties ensured men didn't."

"Then honor him." If it was all he could give his father, then he should give it.

The man felt the sharp pang of loss, but it didn't move him. "Let's go home."

Yuuki nodded and waited for him to move. He didn't. They stood there for a long time before Kyoya melted again and left the suit without looking back.

Mr Ootori had fallen coming in from the golf course, slipped on a step and hit his head. The stress of fifty years caught up like a freight train and caused him to stroke. One life, gone. Like a candle snuffed out. No one knew where the wind came from or why it had come. All they knew was that it had been and passed and left only a cold, thin trail of smoke to mark the fact that a life had once dwelled in a flame.

Kyoya's father had been strong, he had been healthy, he had been smart and cold. He had everything he had ever wanted; he'd never wanted love. He'd wanted heirs. And greed. And now he was gone, leaving behind no family, no wife and no children.

Yuuki glanced back when they left and wondered if the man had been scared when it happened. If he would have re-done anything. The answer she came up with was 'no'. He would not have done anything different. And she was glad. Mr Ootori had died with the assurance that his life was exactly as he had planned it. But at the same time, she was disturbed. It meant that he never thought he'd made a mistake, which meant he'd never corrected it. Never got the change to love. To love another person is to see the face of God. Or so the saying goes. Yuuki wondered if that's who's face the man was seeing.

_-_

_Feels like you're miles from here,  
in other towns with lesser names.  
Where the unholy ghost doesn't tell  
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear.  
You remember the house on Ridge Road  
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.  
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.  
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared._

_Tommy, you left behind  
something that will mean everything right before you die.  
What if you gained the whole world?  
You've already lost four little souls from your life.  
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.  
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.  
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.  
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth._

That you are the patron saint of lost causes.  
All you are to them is now a lost cause.  
All you are to them is now, causes.

_(Fin*, Anberlin)_

_-_

It was early, early morning when they arrived home. No one said anything. The only noise was the constant drip of pattering rain on the earth. Pathetic fallacy.

Kyoya sat on the end of the bed and stared out the window for a long, long time. Yuuki sat beside him. She took his shoes off and waited for him to come back to life.

He didn't. Not until the sun had come up. The man ran a hand over his face and blinked. He turned to Yuuki.

She stared at him with wide eyes. "You need to sleep."  
"Will it help?"  
"It does." She'd been through this before.

"Okay." Kyoya lay back, his feet still on the floor.

His wife encouraged him to move. He did. Slowly. The moment he laid his head on the pillow, he was gone. Yuuki followed him there. Different people mourned in different ways, and the way she supported him through that was perfect for him. He needed to think, but he didn't need to be alone.

-

_A six year old girl sat in a pew. Her feet didn't reach the floor. They were adorned with little black flats. She stared at the front of the church, at the silver rails of the coffin, at the pastor, but never at her father. She didn't cry. She'd done that already. _

_The pallbearers came forward and picked the box up, hoisting it above their shoulders they carried her mother out of the church. She slid to the floor when they were halfway gone and ran after them. Her brother followed. Their feet made happy noises on a sad floor. They followed the procession out to the green and then stood with the sea of unfamiliar faces as they turned to stare back at the church. _

_A chimney reared its head into the sky. It began to let off plumes of ash. A strong east wind caught it and carried their mother home._

_Yuuki watched it. Suddenly she was not a child anymore. She was not at her mother's funeral. That had been years and years before. Without looking, she slid her hand into that of the man beside her. Kyoya's fit well over hers and that gave him comfort. He stared at the smoke and loosed his jaw. _

_-_

When you live, others will die. It's not an uncommon occurrence, but it is not a painless one either. Kyoya knew this. He knew that his father dying so suddenly should pain him more than it did. But it only felt like a second cousin had passed, not the person who had created half of who he was and entirely of what he had become.

It felt like a business partner had died. And that's why it hurt. Because it should have felt like more than that.

When Kyoya woke up he found his wife close by. Her hand loosely wrapped around the top of his. She was still asleep. He watched her and wondered if she'd been the first person to truly love him, not just the first to see him as he was. He wondered how she'd felt when her mother had died. If she'd felt the same when she cut herself off from her father, or realized that he was no such thing. Surely she was an orphan in her own right, but she didn't see it like that. She never had. She'd never adopted the title. He wasn't an orphan, but he'd never had parents. When he went away, he didn't miss anyone buy Fuyumi. When he worked, it was for his father; a fight for something. But not his love. Just respect. It is not disrespectful to say a dead man is dead, but is it so to say a living man is?

Yuuki stared at her husband. He was looking at her, but not quite seeing that she'd woken up. "Morning."  
Kyoya blinked. "Afternoon."

The girl rubbed an eye. "Really?"  
"I don't know."

There was a clock right behind her. "Okay." The silence wasn't uncomfortable. "Are you alright?"  
"I had a really bad dream."  
"Want to tell me about it?"  
"It got good when I woke up."  
Yuuki thought a moment. "Did it go away?"  
"No."  
She smiled an encouraging ghost at him. "What are you thinking?"  
"What did you do?"

"For which parent?"  
"Both."  
"I cried." Yuuki slid closer to him. "But that's just how I dealt with it."  
"Was it effective?"  
"I got a headache."

Kyoya smiled. It felt...wrong.

His wife sighed. "You don't have to feel anything Kyoya. Just because people expect you to, doesn't mean you have to. It was so sudden. I don't think anyone saw him dying. Your father seemed so invincible. But he was no superman."

"He wasn't my father." Kyoya said it out loud. He didn't often say thing out loud regarding himself.

"Is that why you feel bad?"

Silence.

"And your mother?"  
More silence. You could be made entirely out of two people and feel entirely disassociated from them if they don't bind themselves to you emotionally as well as hand out physical characteristics.

Yuuki put an arm around his torso and created lazy circles on the side of his ribcage with her fingers. "It's okay."  
"Is it?"

"Tell me the definition of displacement."

Kyoya paused. He didn't see the relevance. But then again, few saw the relevance in acts he started until they were done. "A one-dimensional quantity representing the separation between two defined points."

"So...like a cross country event. Or a marathon?"  
"If the start and finish are the two points, yes."  
"So...can you see the start and finish the whole time?"  
"No."

"Then how do you know they're there?"  
"Because, that's what the point of the race is."  
"So, we're born. We die. There are your points. Are we supposed to understand or see everything that goes on in the middle?"

Kyoya closed his eyes. "I want to."  
Yuuki smiled. "Of course _you_ do. But you can't. I know that's not a work in your dictionary. But it is a reality."

"You're saying that just because I feel...guilt, now, doesn't mean it's without purpose?"  
"Exactly." Pause. "If that's how you want to take it." She rested her spare hand on his sternum and put her chin on it so she could look at him. "There is no set way to feel right now. No offense, but your dad sucked as much as mine. He wasn't your father."  
Her husband ran a hand through his hair and then let it fall to the middle of her back. "That seems wrong."  
"It is."  
He'd put her though that without support or understanding. "I'm sorry."  
"Don't say sorry. Displacement, remember?"  
"I don't want to be like that to any child we have."

Yuuki shook her head. "You won't be."

"I am my father's son."  
"Just because you inherited some giant pile of bricks and a few computers and then built some more piles and added some more computers, doesn't mean you're his clone."

"But there is him in me."  
"You are your own person. He just conceived you."

Kyoya stared at the ceiling. "I think I know where you're coming from now."  
Yuuki paused a moment. "It's okay to mourn him, even if you don't feel connected to him. He was still, essentially your father."  
"You said he wasn't."  
"I can't argue with science or God. When they go hand in hand, there is no winning. He was not _your_ father, but he did create you. You're allowed to miss your creator and everything he did for you. The opportunities he gave you and the life he provided."

Silence. Kyoya exhaled, long and low. Yuuki let her cheek rest against her palm and stayed with him.

-

_Hey Dad, where you been for so long?  
Why won't you look at me?  
Is there something wrong?_

Do you remember me, the son that you conceived?  
Why won't you look at me?  
A son that you deceived

_Where he is, I don't know at all  
I don't even remember  
The last time he called_

How can we start all over when we never began?  
How can you be a father  
When you're not even a man?

Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?  
A man I never knew  
A man I cannot miss  
(Good Charlotte, Hey Dad)

_-_

The funeral was a giant affair. Every staff member, every relative, friend, acquaintance; ever single person who had ever dared to breath the same air as the leading Ootori was there. All dressed in black and most standing in the aisles while the service was conducted.

Yuuki sat at the front, beside Fuyumi. Kyoya was a pallbearer with his brothers and a few close associates. No one smiled. Everyone knew that the man inside the box had lived his life according to his standards. He wouldn't change a thing. Maybe that was a reason to smile, but being indestructible didn't let anyone understand the reasons for your grin.

Kyoya's mother sat on the other side of her daughter and sobbed quietly throughout. When they were in the lawyer's office for the reading of the will, she tried to banish her daughter-in-law once more. This time her son stopped her.

"Don't defy me, not today, Kyoya." She seethed.

"No. Don't defy me today." He threatened back. The youngest had become the head of the household.

The woman emanated a dark storm cloud and tried to fill the room with it.

The lawyer walked in and sat in front of them all. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Silence.

He cleared his throat. "Well. It appears that everything that Mr Ootori, senior, has given his assets to the Ootori group."  
"All of them?" The first son said flatly from the back of the room.

"All of them." Pause. "Which one of you is in charge of that?"  
"I am." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"Then distribution is up to you."

His mother stared. "He didn't give anyone in his family anything?"  
"No ma'am." The lawyer put his hands over each other. "You'll have to ask your son."  
Everyone looked at Kyoya. He looked through them. "Take what you want." He turned and began to leave the room. "I inherited, you inherit." If his father had left nothing for those he should have loved, then he would leave all to those he did. Deep down, you couldn't not love those who trained you.

Yuuki smoother her skirt and caught the door as it closed. She nodded goodbye to Fuyumi who smiled forcibly back before shutting the door. Kyoya was waiting for her, his hands in his pockets. She stood beside him, her feet together. "It is done."  
Silence.

"Forgive him, Kyoya. Give him at least that."

Her husband put his forefinger on the bridge of his nose before standing straight and putting an arm around her waist. He hadn't cried. No once. His father had not been a bad man, he had just been a man, a rich and powerful man. But nothing more. He had not loved. He had not learned. He had not faltered. And thus, he had not lived until the day he died. "There is nothing to forgive."  
Yuuki put her hand around his hip and matched his step as they left the offices. In the distance a chimney poured out black smoke. "The sky is perfect today." It was a pristine blue. Not a cloud in sight.

"No, it's not."  
She looked up at him questioningly.

"It's only perfect when there are a few clouds. You taught me that." He smiled ever so slightly as he walked on.

The girl smiled in reply. It is possible to attain perfection through flaws. All you have to do is look at life if you want an example. Perfection is flawed. But it corrects itself, thus, it is complete. Everything that had happened to them had not created a storm cloud, but rather a few puffs of smoke to adorn their story. Ones that hurt to breath at the time, but were important and somehow wonderful when one looked at them from afar. They reminded them of something important.

Yuuki knew that her miscarriage was not her fault. Kyoya knew that his father and his' relationship was not his fault. There were things they could have done to prevent the outcome; but things had happened how they were supposed to and all one could do was move on from that point and hope that when they saw the face of God, he was smiling and telling them what a wonderful picture they had painted in the sky.

-

_I've given up on giving up slowly, I'm blending in so  
You won't even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate  
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption  
because I know to live you must give your life away  
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake  
And I'm begging You, I'm begging You, I'm begging You to be my escape._

I'm giving up on doing this alone now  
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how  
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there  
And this life sentence that I'm serving  
I admit that I'm every bit deserving  
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

I am a hostage to my own humanity  
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I've made  
And all I'm asking is for You to do what You can with me  
But I can't ask You to give what You already gave

I fought You for so long  
I should have let You in  
Oh how we regret those things we do  
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin  
But so were You  
So were You

_(Be my escape, Relient K)_

----------

_Apologies to the lateness of this post. I spent all day to post but co__uldn't get the WiFi where I was to work. So...it should have happened but it didn't. I'm really sorry. I've also had the line 'okay, so. Who doesn't own a cell phone?" stuck in my head all day, many thanks to the song 'chapped lips, chap-stick and things like chemistry' by Relient K, and it just reminds me of Kyoya. Which is annoying because I haven't been able to post and the song keeps reminding me of the fact. _

_I'm also very, very__ sorry I haven't replied to any of your reviews, I've really wanted to but I just couldn't find the time to do it. I love you all for giving me such long reviews and I really appreciate it. So thank you. So much. Please don't stop. I am exceptionally interested and appreciative of what you have to say. If you want to ask me any questions, don't hesitate to send a PM; or even if you have a suggestion for another fic. I should be able to reply in a day or so._

_I'm not dead. Yet._

_^-^_

_So, sorry again. I hope you're all still interested in this fic._

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	36. Chapter 34

-

**Chapter 34**

-

The thing about having a pool is to actually swim in it. Yuuki didn't know if she'd ever swum in her pool. She'd put her feet in it. And swum in other people's pools, at the beach, in lakes; but never in her own pool. Kyoya swam in it. Every other day fore exercise.

Yuuki sat one day with her feet in the water and a book in one hand. Her husband leant on the edge beside her. "Is Suetonius really that interesting?"

She paused to look at him. "It's the Twelve Caesars. Of course it's interesting."  
"Are you learning things?" He said with a smug tone.

"Did you know..." Yuuki shifted slightly. "...that Emperor Caligula gave his horse a marble stable, its own set of servants and a fully furnished house so it could entertain?"  
"He's the guy who ordered an entire army on an illogical exercise to 'invade Britain', got to the crossing and told all his soldiers to pick up seashells?"

"Yes. So?"  
"He was completely insane."

Yuuki pondered this a moment. "No. I won't argue with that." Pause. "He was sort of evil to."  
"Just sort of."  
"Yes." She shut her book. "Just sort of."

Kyoya shook his head and sent a thin spray of water through the air. His wife tried to protect herself with the book and then decided to protect the book and both ended up damp. Her husband told her to put it down.

"Why?" The girl asked cautiously, clutching her prize.

"Because. I told you to. Put it down."  
"No."  
"Yuuki."  
"Tell me why."  
"Because, if you don't, it's getting wet." He grabbed her foot so she couldn't get out while she still could.

"No." Yuuki pointed a warning at him. "No. Don't." She was in a half crouch, trying to balance on the foot that had got out of the pool in time. "Kyoya. No."

"You've never been in this pool."  
"No. This is a good shirt. I like this shirt."  
"It will dry."  
"It runs."

"No it doesn't."

Pause. "No...it doesn't. But I like these shorts. Their denim."  
"So?"  
"They shrink in water."  
"You've washed them before." He pointed out.

"Yes. And they shrank."  
"Then so did you because they fit the same."  
Running out of arguments. "I did my hair."  
He raised his eyebrow. "In a ponytail."  
"I had my nails done."  
"Their dry and water proof."  
"I had my toenails done."  
"You already got them wet."  
"I..." She paused to think for a moment.

Kyoya pulled backwards. Yuuki cried out in surprise and tried to hang onto the edge of the pool but ended up slipping off it and into the water. Her husband was laughing. "Well, your hair is dry."

She pulled her elastic out and flicked it at him. Missed. Started to wade towards the edge.

Kyoya grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her into him.

"No. No. Oh my gosh, you're freezing." Yuuki tried to walk away, but it's difficult when you're dressed.

The man trapped her with his arm around the bottom of her ribcage. "I'm not freezing. Its summer."

She was freezing. Like ice in her demeanour. "Not happy. Not happy. Not happy."

He kissed the hallow behind her ear. "Better?"  
"No."  
He pressed his mouth to a point just lower. "And now?"  
Pause. "No." Her tone was slightly lighter, but her arms were firmly crossed.

Kyoya did the same thing again, but in a trail down the side of her neck. "Now?"

Yuuki hesitated. "...no." She said quietly.

"Why?" Her husband said against her ear.

"It's cold. It's wet."

"I thought you liked England?"  
"Oh haha."

Kyoya laughed lowly. "We have a spa."  
The girl repeated the statement in a mocking manner.

"You use that at least."  
"It's bubbly." Yuuki said her tone now happier.

"Mm."

The woman looked at her book. "It's damp..." She moved forward and dragged her husband behind her.

He didn't let her go. "Don't touch it. It'll just make matters worse."  
There was a long silence. "You know how what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine?"  
"...yes."  
"Well, does that mean the towel is mine?"  
"We got a prenup."

"For financial stability. In case someone sues you. So it's only in theory. In reality, that towel is mine."

"Yes, but what is yours is mine."  
"No..."

"Yes." He mocked.

"But its blue. My favourite colour is blue."  
"It's navy."  
"You like it when I wear navy."  
"You bought me that navy shirt."  
Pause. "...in theory..."

Kyoya smiled complacently. "Well. I guess you owe me then."

Yuuki twisted. "What? Why?"  
"Because, you lied. I think everyone knows you bought that shirt for yourself."  
"Yes. No." She shook her head. "I bought it so you would wear it."

"It's my towel."

"I'm going to drown you." Yuuki turned around fully and wrapped her legs around the back of his before pulling backwards.

Kyoya didn't move. "Fail."  
She pulled against his knees. "Drown, damn it."

Her husband kissed her while she was preoccupied with killing him.

Yuuki protested for about a second and then decided that his idea was better than hers. "You're still dead."  
"For pulling you in the pool?"  
"Yes."

"You look good wet."  
"Shut up."  
He put on a shocked face. "What? You do."  
"Shut up."  
"Okay." He kissed her again.

"I don't get it." Came a familiar voice from the poolside.

The couple turned around. Or, Kyoya turned around. Yuuki now couldn't see who was there. She could guess though by the tone of his voice. It was a little defensive, business like. "What's not to get?"  
There was a recognisable laugh. "Well. If you're going to do that to my sister, please use a lot of chlorine next time you clean your pool. I mean...my kids swim in that sometimes. Come on guys."

Yuuki peeled Kyoya's hands off her and splashed him so she could get away. "Mako, what did I say about knocking?"  
"You were thirteen."  
"Ah. If you remember that I was thirteen, then the rule still applies."  
Kyoya wiped the water out of his eyes. He could see, but not clearly for very far. "Well, I think it's more the timing of our friends than anything else."  
Mako leant against the door. "Sorry." He didn't sound it. "Anyway. Why I'm here."  
"Without a key." His sister said flatly and pulled herself out of the pool and sat like a soggy mess on the edge.

"Yes. Anyway." He dismissed the statement and looked at Kyoya. "I need some wire."  
Kyoya pointed at his wife. She was the one to talk to about that.

Yuuki scowled. "It's in the stable. Why?"  
"Bought the kid a pony. Being Mr-Fix-it and building the pen."  
"She's like...one and a half."  
"How old were you?"  
"Irrelevant."

"I also brought this." Mako put a DVD case on a deck chair. "For your enjoyment." He saluted casually and said goodbye before heading down the school.

Kyoya was floating his hands on top of the water. Yuuki was trying to squeeze her hair. "You know, witches float like that."

"Oh, really?" He got the look he had before again. "Let's test that theory."

"No." Yuuki stood up as quick as she could. "No." Pause. "That's mean."

Her husband splashed her. She took his towel and put it in the spa as she walked past. "Oi!" Kyoya climbed out of the pool. "My towel."  
"No." Yuuki poked her tongue at him. "My towel."

The man lifted it out of the lukewarm water and hung it over the back of a chair. "Why wet it?"  
"Yuuki's rules."

"Huh." Kyoya put his tongue in his cheek. His wife slipped inside. "You're getting the floor wet."  
"It will dry."  
"The wood will shrink."  
"It gets mopped, it doesn't shrink."  
"De'ja'vous."

Yuuki shook her head in an amused manner and walked through the house. She knew that her bathrobe was in the dryer, so she took it out and put her wet clothes into the washer. By the time she was back into the rest of the house, the floor was wet. "Kyoya, keep swimming pool outside." She called, not knowing where he was.

"I am outside." He called back. He was watching Mako drive away with a spiel of wire.

Yuuki stared at the floor. "Hmm..." At least the maid wouldn't have to mop it when she came around the next day.

Quite suddenly, Kyoya wasn't outside anymore. "Yuuki's rules, right?"  
"No. Just Yuuki's mess." She said lightly, one arm crossed against herself, the other lifted so she could tap her chin. "See, denim carries a lot of water."  
"Where is it now?"  
"In the washer."  
"With the shirt that runs?" He said smugly.

Yuuki scowled at him genially. "Yes. And your white work shirt."

"Ah. So it's going to be a pale shade of blue now?"  
"No...probably not."  
Kyoya stepped over the pool of water and ended up inches from Yuuki. "That robe is warm."  
"Just out of the dryer."  
"Its summer."  
"So?"  
"So, it's too warm." He said, hovering around her.

"Prove it."

Kyoya kissed his wife. Ardently. Poignantly. Water dripped from his hair onto her face and warmed gently in the places where it met his breath. "Proved?"

Yuuki wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth against his. Point proved.

It had been four weeks since his father's death, and it had had little impact on their lives. For a week, Kyoya had been deep in thought. For a week, his wife had sat beside him and waited for him to return, not to her, but to himself. After that initial week, there had been a week of tension that floated around their world, but never entered it. His mother wanted the house. She got it. His brothers wanted the cars. They got them. His sister wanted the beach cottage. She got it. But they all felt as he had. As if, somewhere along the way, they had missed something important. The only difference was; Kyoya had Yuuki. She let him breathe through grief. Other couples would have asked questions constantly, given encouraging looks, hugged a little deeper. But Yuuki didn't. She knew that those things reminded one that something had happened and gave them reason to be sad again. Of course, she comforted her husband, but she gave him space and came to him when he called. She personalised his comfort to what was going to help him the best. Not what the world said would help him.

And because of that, there was more reason to appreciate the other. It was never for themselves, but it came back to them. To give joy without expecting anything but the contentment that giving it brought ensured that one received what they gave, tenfold. It was a gift. That only they could give. And only to each other. Support and care and a manifestation of love.

-

_I know they wanna come and separate us but they can't do us nothin  
Your the one I want and I'm a continue lovin  
Cause your considered wify and I'm considered husband  
And I'm a always be there for you  
Cause she gonna hold it down, cant no body tell her nothin  
You got the kind of love that always make up after fussin  
And that's what gets me closer to you__go by things are gettin harder  
Stickin together forever, watch you grow stronger  
That's the way it has to be, everything problem  
Keepin it always true__(Be with you, Akon)_

Seems like every day that

And no one knows  
What I'm into you  
Cause you'll never know what its like to walk in our shoes  
And no one know, the things we've been through  
Can never measure up to half of what I put you through  
That's why we'll break through

You are everything in my life see the joy you bring  
And ain't no one I compare you to  
And I know that you will never walk away from me no matter what  
And that's why I plan to do the same thing for you  
And I want you to know

_-_

Yuuki got home after a day at the youth home and pulled herself into the lounge. There was a message on the phone. The girl sat down heavily and pressed the play button. Tamaki's perky voice filled the air.

"_Kyoya! Yuuki! Hello! How are you?" _Long pause. _"Anyway. Seeing as you're not home, I'm going to leave a message."_ Yuuki rolled her eyes and smiled slightly as she sorted through the mail. _"There's a marriage course on this weekend. You guys should come with Haruhi and I."_ Pause. _"If you don't, then we'll need you to baby sit. Suki is going. So yes. Please, please, please come!"_ Expectant pause. _"Call me."_ Click.

Yuuki actually laughed and opened a letter. Water bill. Boring. Electricity bill. Boring. Phone bill. Boring. She knew that she was part of a small percentage that found bills ignoring and didn't have to be rushed to hospital to get her heart restarted over them. In the end, the girl plugged her iPhone into a new set of speakers. The old ones had gone upstairs because she'd decided that listening to music in the bath was a fantastic idea. Kyoya said she'd electrocute herself. They'd stayed upstairs anyway.

Yuuki lay with her back on the couch and her legs dangling over the arm. Sometimes it was good to do absolutely nothing. People tell you to do something with your life all the time. But sometimes doing nothing was great.

"What are you doing?" Came a welcome voice from the doorway.

"Absolutely squat." Yuuki smiled slightly and examined the lights in the ceiling. She and her husband often arrived home in mid to late afternoon. Thanks to the comfort of their lifestyle, they could afford to get away early. She usually an hour or so before him.

"But you're lying down..." Kyoya knew how to talk. He just didn't know how to talk middle class.

"No." The girl propped herself onto her elbows. "I meant nothing. But that was obviously too advanced for you."

Her husband frowned, understanding but not appreciating. He pulled her legs off the arm of the chair and moved her so there was enough room for him to sit down. "Hello." He said cheerily before picking up the paper on the coffee table and pulling to the finance page.  
Yuuki protested against this act and showed her defiance by putting her legs across his lap and crushing the paper. "Ha."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Good day?"  
She had his attention. "Until Tamaki left his message."  
"Mm?"  
"He invited us to a marriage course." Her tone became sarcastic. "Because that's totally awesome. Where all the awesome couples and tell of their awesome love and everyone is just _awesome._"

Kyoya smiled some. "Maybe we should go."  
"Why?" Yuuki was a little confused. She sat up and crossed her legs so that she was facing him.

"To tell all the awesome couples about are awesome love and it'll just be awesome." He mocked. He didn't want to go either.

"Awesome." Pause. "Overused adjective. Pick another."  
Kyoya kissed her lightly hello. "You pick."  
"Stupendous." Yuuki grinned in victory.

There was a long silence. Her husband scowled. "What is this song?"  
"Barry Louis Polisar, All I Want Is You." Yuuki took the remote for the player before he could change the song. "It's cute."  
"Uhuh." He'd get the remote.

"If I was a flower growing wild and free, all I'd want is you to be my sweet honey bee." The girl didn't sing. She couldn't sing for her life. But she spoke it sweetly and with an odd lilt. "And if I was a tree growing tall and green all I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves."

Kyoya had to smile as the song played on. It was charming.  
Yuuki decided to lean against him and continue ruining the lyrics by talking over them. "If you were a river in the mountains tall, the rumble of your water would be my call. If you were the winter, I know I'd be the snow just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow."

Kyoya kissed the top of her head and pulled his paper out from where it lay crumpled in his lap.  
"If you were a wink, I'd be a nod. If you were a seed, well I'd be a pod. If you were the floor, I'd wanna be the rug. And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug." His wife looked up at him, merrily beaming. Obviously a little too tired for her own good. "If you were the wood, I'd be the fire. If you were the love, I'd be the desire. If you were a castle, I'd be your moat, and if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float."

The man turned the page of his paper. "You don't even like swimming."  
"I like you."

"One would hope so." He smiled deviously.

Yuuki sat up again and ran a hand through her hair. "Speaking of lovers. I have to see Zero."

"Were we speaking of lovers?"  
"Yes. I have thousands." She knew he hadn't been listening to her totally. Which was a shame. She'd just have to put the song on repeat then. "Upon thousands."

"Oh. Really? Are any of them any good?"  
"To me? No. Not one."

"Not one?"  
She shook her head. "Not one." Yuuki stood up and stretched before heading for the door. "Well...maybe one." She said, pausing at the door frame. "He sort of hates it when I play music instead of say words. Which means iTunes is a _complete_ waste of time. But then again, most multi-million dollar businesses are."

"What's my business then?"  
"Oh. The billion dollar businesses are fine."  
Kyoya went to protest that they weren't billionaires, his company churned out that much, but most of it when back in. But that was beside the point Yuuki was trying to make. She smiled and disappeared into the hall as he contemplated the workings of her mind, knowing he would find no answer, knowing that would make him contented to keep trying; even when he knew he would never, ever know the full truth. Just as she wouldn't about his mysteries.

Yuuki caught Zero in the paddock and led him back to his stall. "Hello." The horse rammed her in the back. "No. Don't. I very recently drowned. I don't need to be broken." Zero hooked his head over her shoulder as she unlocked his stall and sniffed the front of her shirt. "I don't have anything for you. You'll get unwell again." Yuuki ran a hand down his face and then led him inside the cubicle. "I can give you dinner. Mmm. Oats. Yum." Pause. "Right?"  
Whenever Kyoya got home, he needed a little while on his own. His wife would greet him and then let him unwind. Personal space was part of sharing a space and not smothering the flame. Yuuki loved spending time with her horse anyway. "You did good this morning, boy." She carried a bucket to the tap and filled it before returning with fresh water. "Tachi did good with you yesterday." Her instructor had taken to exercising her Zero every second day as his own horse had become his daughters and the other broke its leg at a competition and was forced to retire.

"Speak of the devil and he shall come." Tachi called from the stall gate. "How you doing home-skillet?"  
"I was good until you called me home-skillet." Yuuki turned and brushed a hair off her face. "What brings you here?"

"Why the offensive tone?" He was wearing his cap. His worn old baseball cap. The sort men wore when they had to work outside for a living.  
"Mako barged in the other day. How do people get into my house?"  
"I...went in the side gate?" Tachi pointed to the paddock fence. "I told Mako about it, he probably went that way too."

"Oh. Okay." Mental note, lock gate. "You need something?"  
"I need wire."  
"Why?"  
"Fence broke. I've got none. Can't be bothered to drive all the way to the store to get any."  
"Lazy." Yuuki peered into the tack room. "I think Mako took it all to fence his yard." Note to self two; buy wire.

"Really? Darn."

"Need anything else?" Yuuki settled Zero for the night and locked his stall.

Tachi thought a moment. "Yeah, you got any of them...uh..." He made gestures with his hands. "...the stuff you use to clean the leather with..."  
"Cloth?" The girl offered.

The man shrugged. "That will do."

Yuuki pulled a stack out of the tack room and handed them over. "Anything else?"  
"Yeah. The leather cleaner."  
Return trip. Hand over. Questioning look. Yuuki crossed her arms.

"No...I think that's it. Good doing business with you ma'am." Tachi tipped his hat. Pause. "You heard from your dad lately?"  
The girl scratched the back of her neck. "Last I heard, he was admitted to a hospital in Osaka for Bipolar."

"Ha." The man thought a minute. "That makes sense."  
"Yes. Sadly."  
"You talked to him?"  
"No."  
"Do you want to?"  
"Not really."  
"Some part of you wants to." Tachi started walking back outside. Evening was falling quickly. The house lit up on the hill and warmed the grass. "That's what 'not really' means to me."  
"He's...my dad. It's a watered down sort of guilt. Could have been loss. But it's not." She'd taught Kyoya that.

"All right, kid. I got your back if you need me."  
"Okay. Thanks." Yuuki waved slightly as her instructor disappeared into the distance. To the corner of the paddock where his white jeep sat silently.

The girl headed back up to the house and found her husband in the kitchen, on the phone. His face was filled with a bleak long-suffering. "No, Tamaki. We're not coming. I know no one's perfe...No. We're not in denial. Of course we do. No. No. Tama..." Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay. Shut up a second and stop talking crap. Thank you. No, we are not coming. No we will not look after your children. Why? Because last time I saw your happy little son he made a happy little mess on Yuuki who created a happy little spiel of sick days."

Yuuki laughed quietly and said goodbye to the cook as she headed out. She'd put dinner in the oven to stay warm, it looked like the master wasn't going to have an appetite. The girl thanked her and said she'd take care of dinner the next night. The woman laughed and shut the door.

Kyoya was still on the phone. "Tamaki..." He sighed. "I have previous arrangements for Saturday." At this his wife laughed again. Saturday was their day. Or their morning. But it turned into a movie and books and conversations about life, the universe and everything. It was their escape. "Tamaki, we're not coming. Why would we come to something we have no interest in? I understa...I kno...Stop interrupting." He hung up.

"Yay. Awesome couples and awesome love and awesome stories and it's just awesome. Right?" Yuuki said, carrying dinner through to the dining room.

"Say awesome one more time..."  
"Awesome."  
Kyoya sighed.

"Sorry." Yuuki returned and pulled a jug of water out of the fridge. "Glasses, please."

Her husband carried them through and sat down to brood over Tamaki and his overtly bright and pushy manner. Brooding would equalise the sudden onslaught of perky phrases that had bombarded his mind in such a short space of time.

"You know." His wife said. "It's already dead."  
Kyoya came out of his grumpy trance. "What?"  
"Your food. It's dead. You look like you want to kill something."  
"Someone."  
"What did Tamaki do?"

"He called four times, in half an hour. Just to convince me to take us to the thing on the weekend."  
"Uhuh. The awesome thing?"  
Kyoya raised an eyebrow.

"Okay. Sorry. The amazing thing."

He smiled slightly. "Yes. That." Pause. "It's supposed to be a way to communicate to other couples."  
"Isn't that what...um...friendship is?" She said through a yawn. And consequently, her hand.

Kyoya smiled again. "It's quite the possibility."  
"Mm. Quite." Pause. "Maybe we should go."

"Why?"  
"Well, it could be...fun. What time does it start?"  
"Nine."  
"AM?"  
He nodded.  
"Yeah. No. We're not going." Yuuki said flatly.

Kyoya laughed. "Tamaki can't understand why."  
"Don't you tell him."  
"Don't point your fork. No I won't tell him why."  
"Good." Yuuki crossed her legs on her chair and pushed her plate away. "I gots to go to sleep."

"Got's to hey?"  
"I watched Star Wars today. Grammar, unimportant it is." She imitated Yoda.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "Okay. You're very tired."  
"Mmmmmmm." Yuuki dropped her head on the mahogany table. "I is. Long day. Lots of people." She sat up. "But I'm not actually _very _tired. Just...a little."

"You want to go on Saturday?"  
"No."

"Okay." The phone rang. Kyoya knew it would have and hence asked his question seconds before. He answered. "No. Tamaki. Go away." Click. It rang again a second later. "I will sue you." Click. Again. "I'm serious." He said fatally. The phone didn't ring again.

Yuuki clapped happily after five minutes passed in silence. "He's gone."

"Victory." Kyoya stood and wandered out of the room. His wife knew exactly where he was headed and planned to get there first. By the time he reached the shower, Yuuki was already there. Not entirely happy. "If I wanted to argue for the shower, I would move back home."  
"Then stop arguing." Her voice was muffled from behind the frosted glass.

He did and shared part of his world with her.

-

_And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words  
Although they did not feel  
For I felt what I had not felt before  
And you'd swear those words could heal.  
And as I looked up into those eyes  
His vision borrows mine.  
And I know he's no stranger,  
For I feel I've held him for all of time._

And he said take my hand,  
Live while you can  
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand  
In the palm of your hand.

Please come with me,  
See what I see.  
Touch the stars for time will not flee.  
Time will not flee.  
Can you see?

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.  
As I wake in bed  
And the boy, that ordinary boy  
Or was it all in my head?  
Did he asked if I would come along  
It all seemed so real.  
But as I looked to the door,  
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.

Just a day, just an ordinary day  
Just trying to get by.  
Just a boy,  
Just an ordinary boy.  
But he was looking to the sky.

_(Ordinary Day, Vanessa Carlton)_

_-_

Another month passed and another negative test resulted from its passing. Yuuki threw it in the bin and went riding to clear her head. When she came back, she and Kyoya had a fight about it.

"Why do you keep doing this?" He stood in the bathroom and she leant on the door frame and tried to maintain a dignified stubborn expression. "You keep expecting and..."  
"It's not going to happen. I know." She shot back, talking over him.

"I never said that." His tone was like ice.  
"But you know it. I know it. It's just not going to happen."

"It hasn't happened. It's not, not going to."

"Prove that to me, Kyoya. You say you want a kid and I know you do. Is that worse than me wanting one? I mean...I'm the one who finds out first."  
"There is nothing wrong with wanting it. But geez Yuuki. It's hard as it is without you running to the pharmacy every month."  
"Nothing happens every month. You don't know what that's like to not know about something you expect."  
He exhaled acerbically. "Surely you don't expect it."  
"Well then, surely you don't expect a baby." She said flatly and turned away from him, storming out of the room and then out the front door.

Kyoya found her on the front steps. "Don't walk away from me."  
"Don't try to control me."  
"Who will when you can't control yourself?"  
"Oh. And you're high and mighty. It's a free country. Sort of. If I walk away, I walk away."  
"You might as well run away from the situation then."  
"You might as well shut up." She put her chin in her hands and stared straight ahead.

Kyoya sighed. "Look, you know I want what's best for you."  
"And you." She scoffed.  
"Yes." He sat down beside her. "And it's really not best that you keep hiding."  
"I wasn't hiding."  
"Yuuki, you left halfway through an argument."  
"Does that mean we're almost done?"  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Not until you argue back."  
"No."  
"There you go."  
She stared at him. "Kyoya, I can't control myself. Like...I can, I just can't control the part that we're fighting about. I don't know what happens in there."  
"I know." He said, his voice still cold. "I'm not fighting at you. This isn't about you. This is about what you're doing to yourself. It's not healthy."  
"What is?"  
"Expecting."  
"I do. For a long time now. I haven't used any medication or anything since the miscarriage. Something should have happened. Other women would have had a million kids by now."  
"A whole million?"  
"A whole million." She threw a piece of gravel that had found its way onto the stairs back onto the drive. "This isn't about me. Well, it is, sort of. But I want to please you too."  
"You can't please me by trying to force yourself into pathogenesis."  
"Well, being asexual would suck for you so..."

Kyoya's tone melted slightly. "You're not going to relax. Are you?"  
"No."  
"You never did, did you?"  
"No." Pause. "I tried though."  
"Okay. Well. If we're going to be honest about this; you're very probably never going to have children."

Yuuki stared at the front gate. "Yes. I know. I always knew."  
"But we can still try."  
"And tell people we're practicing?"  
"Well. I'm sure they expect something is occurring by now."  
"It's not though." The girl looked down at her stomach. It was flat and young. Youth was hope. "I want it to."  
"Me too. But," Kyoya put a hand in between her shoulder blades. "If it does, it's going to be something even I can't explain."  
"You can't explain us, and that's what the baby will be. Inexplicable. Us."  
"Will be?"  
Yuuki paused. "I'm trying to be optimistic. Things happen."

"Okay." The man stood and put his hands in his pockets. "Well, we both need to go be optimistic at work." Life kept moving forward. Forward motion of everything is something that is inevitable; you just have to keep up. And they were stagnant at one topic. One point.

"Yay." Yuuki said in a deflated manner as she stood. "It's not like you have to work. Could just retire now."  
"But then we'd have to share a helicopter with the neighbours." Kyoya was still Kyoya. He liked money. Probably more than he should. But it was no longer an obsession. He pulled the front door open for his wife. "And you'd have to _attempt_ to cook more often."  
"I can cook." Yuuki stepped inside.  
"Yes, brownies."  
"Which you will never appreciate."

The door shut with a click. "You can make sushi."  
"Everyone can make sushi. It's not very hard."

"I can't make sushi."  
"You've never tried." Pause. "Stop trying to make me feel better." She said lightly.

Kyoya smiled ever so slightly and pushed his glasses up. "Is it working?"  
There was a long silence. "I'm sorry."

"I am too."

Yuuki turned around and hugged him quite suddenly. Kyoya returned the favour and they stood in the foyer for a very long time. That was it. Just them. Only them. They had said they were each other's forever, and meant it. Him and her. Her and him. That was it. It was something they could never lose sight of, ever. They wouldn't let it happen.

Yuuki blinked slowly and breathed. "This is all I have to give you."

Kyoya lifted a hand to the back of her head, as if to take her worries away. "It's more than I ever asked for."  
"But it's no..."  
"Yuuki. Don't."

"But I want to give you so much more. And I can't."  
"It's mutual."  
"It is not."

"You don't think that I would give you everything if I could?"

"But you have."  
"Why can't you see it the same way?"  
"Because you can't either."

Kyoya contemplated her statement for a moment. "What do you want?"  
"You."  
"That's all?"  
"That's all."

"You have it."

"Don't you want more than just me?"  
"No."  
"Don't you want a baby?"  
"If I lose you in the process, no. Why do you think we've avoided assisted technologies? It's not something we need science for." It wasn't biology. Not to them. To others, yes. Science helped them, it was the miracle to a miracle. But to them, it was something that took away from what a child would be to them. A product of them. Not of someone helping them. Their struggle.

Yuuki paused. "Are we selfish then? To want it as an extension of us, and not as itself?"  
"But that's what it would have been. She would have been an entire being, but you and I at the same time." They had three lives; his, hers and theirs. But they dwelled so well in each other's company that it was like one life. They overlapped in such a way that they became a continual sphere where you knew it was made up of designed segments, but their edges had been lost and become a blur of some amazing colour.

"Love is the expression of one's values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person, the emotional price paid by one man for the joy he receives from the virtues of another."

"_Atlas Shrugged."_

"Ayn Rand." Yuuki smiled. He was the only person who would know the book. One of few who had actually read it; it was one of the many she'd returned with at a yard sale. There was something enchanting about old books.

Kyoya let her go and held his wife by the shoulders, staring at her as if she were the last thing on earth and the only thing needed to keep all of mankind alive. "There needs to be nothing else." He was an egoist. For him to hang everything and settle for something with a heartbeat was a feat worthy of the title miracle. He'd done the trial and error and left her for those without a pulse and found nothing to satisfy him as a human. And we all are human, after all.

-

_She had come back into his life like a sudden flame, blazing and streaming into his heart. Noah stayed up all night contemplating the certain agony he knew would be his if he were to lose her twice.  
__(Duke, The Notebook)_

_-_

Yuuki traced the line of his jaw. "This is it."  
"This is all."

"And it's more than I ever asked for." She smiled in a melancholy manner. She accepted what had happened and the results that came from it. And it was okay. They could still have a child, maybe, possibly, probably not. But it was not a definitely no answer. It was a probably no. Which means there was a maybe yes somewhere, floating around. Deep down, she knew she wouldn't catch it if she tried. If she didn't, it might come to her. But then again, probably not. "Alright." Yuuki nodded once. "The world keeps spinning." Only superman could turn it the other way and bring time back. But no supermen existed.

"And I'm still the richest man alive." Kyoya said smugly. It was probably true too. One of the richest young people according to an interview in _Business Annual_ anyway.

"And yet, so modest." His wife pinched him and casually headed for the kitchen for breakfast. When he came in after her she was arguing with a bottle of orange juice. "Woah. There isn't enough room in here for me and your ego."

"Open a window." He took the bottle, opened it and put it on the counter.

Yuuki sat on one of the stools and poured herself a glass, shaking her head as she mused behind the rim of her cup and laughing silently to herself. Amazing. Absolutely amazing. And fulfilled.

-

_I can only give you love that lasts forever,  
And a promise to be near each time you call.  
And the only heart I own  
For you and you alone  
That's all, that's all..._

I can only give you country walks in springtime  
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;  
And a love whose burning light  
Will warm the winter's night  
That's all, that's all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,  
They would give you the world for a toy.  
All I have are these arms to enfold you,  
And a love time can never destroy.

If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear,  
You'll be glad to know that my demands are small.  
Say it's me that you'll adore,  
For now and evermore  
That's all, that's all.

_(That's all, Michael Buble)_

_-_

The host club sat around Suki's gigantic dining room table and debated the plot line of a movie.  
"No. But he died!" Hunny clutched his fork and looked a little forlorn.

"He was supposed to." Tamaki shot back. "It was all part of his plan!" Pause. "Right Kyoya? You know about planning."  
The Ootori pushed his glasses up. "It's a movie."  
"So?"  
"It's a movie."  
"So?"  
"It's a movie. End of story."  
The twins put their heads together, as if that would help them think. "Well, it defiantly made some girls cry." They eyed Haruhi.

She threw a cherry tomato at them. "Shut up."  
"Well," They continued in unison. "Yuuki and Suki didn't cry."  
The older woman decided to point out why. "It's because I told Ootori-kid over here that Will Smith looked like a Greek god, chiselled from fine, dark marble."

Yuuki nodded. "It's true. My whole perception of the film went out the window at the most crucial moment." Pause. She looked at her friend. "Ootori-kid?"  
Suki shrugged. "It was the first thing that popped into my head."  
"Yes. I could tell."

Mori leant back in his chair. Everyone looked at him, expecting him to say something. He didn't. It was very anticlimactic. Tamaki sighed. "Well, it was a good movie."

There were nods of agreement, shakes from Hunny. "NO! It was terrible! I didn't leave happy at all!"

"It wasn't a pursuit of happiness." Mori pointed out. "Pun not intended."  
"But, Takashi, it made Haru-chan cry."  
"Yes. What a pity." The twins said mischievously.

Kyoya watched them from behind a vague expression of contemplation. He pushed his glasses up. "It wouldn't be a pity if you suffered too." He didn't say _had suffered_. Silent threat to make them back off.

The chestnuts stared at the Ootori and promptly stopped harassing the female Suoh. "So, how was that article in Vanity Fair?"  
Yuuki sighed. Suki clapped. "Quote. 'It's not like we spend unnecessarily. But when we do, it's never anything that will be considered inadequate.' Unquote." She leant forward. "Pray, do tell us what that means dear Yuuki? Especially in context with economic recession."

The girl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Why are you memorising everything I say?"  
"I'm not. I just do it for the stuff I want to pick at."  
"You're such a loving person."  
"I know."  
Yuuki sighed. "I'm not about to discuss my spending habits."  
Kyoya smiled slightly. The twins picked up on it. "So you're...supporting the economy?"  
"Not like you are." The girl shot back. "Like I said, I don't spend unnecessarily."

"But it's never inadequate."  
"No."  
"Example?"  
"OH!" Hunny sat up straight. "I know an example." The Ootori pair stared at the little blonde. Waiting to see if he had worked out a small part of them. "That Dali painting you used to replace the Monet that Hika-chan and Kao-chan destroyed."  
"They destroyed it?" Kyoya said menacingly. "I thought they were just getting it repaired."  
"No. It's destroyed." Hunny beamed innocently.

"Ah. Well. They will be paying for the Dali then."  
The twin's faces fell. "What?"  
Kyoya went on as if it were the most natural thing to charge a private sale for a painting by the one and only Salvador Dali, and for it to be _Woman at the Window_ to top it off. It had been a very, very, very private sale. "Well, you know the old term, you break it, you buy it. You broke a Monet. You will buy a Dali to compensate." Pause. "Or...I could give my friends at the Louvre a call and they would happily charge you the full amount as opposed to the 'mates-rates' price we paid."

Hikaru and Kaoru decided to never, ever, ever again try to cross Kyoya. As did everyone else at the table. Ever. Never ever. Yuuki was trying not to laugh. The Salvador Dali painting was real, such is the life of the rich more so than the famous, but they'd got it from the insurance money for the Monet which they knew was destroyed.

The girl smiled impishly. "Art is like fine wine. You only get the real thing for a very big price."

"Yes. Apparently." Came the Hitachiin's deflated reply. "How rich are you anyway?"  
Yuuki raised her eyebrows in as a dismissive quirk. They were not the type to display their wealth and at a glance, no one would guess what it really was. Their house was furnished well, kept well and contained many affluent secrets.

Kyoya sat smugly beside her. "Did you know that Germany has just bought the rights to build an Ootori group hospital there too? Dubai is considering it very heavily too." That answered their question. Everyone knew that the Ootori group got much of the profit accumulated by anything regarding the medical world and made a few nifty bob on the side through resorts, health spas, treatment centres and very recently, youth houses. It was a vast empire that the world would always need or appreciate. Either way. It was full of merit of the most prosperous kind.

"Then why don't we ever go to your house for dinner." Suki exclaimed.

"Because you'd never leave." Came the plain reply.

"You have more money than God." Haruhi said, unimpressed.

Tamaki blinked; he was impressed. "Hold on...wait...Jehosephat Kyoya."

"What?" His friend glanced at the blonde casually.

"CAN WE BE BFF?!" Came the explosion. He ignored the fact that they were close friends anyway.

"Well..." Yuuki said, watching as Tamaki tried to hug her husband, get him to put him in his will and then smother him after it was signed. "...I guess we all know why you're friends with us."  
"Oh. At least we donate money to charities." Haruhi said lightly. "Instead of going to benefits that cost more than the actual amount achieved."

"Hey, I bought a coffee table at one of those benefit's." Yuuki mused.

"And a small country in Africa." Suki shot back sarcastically.

The girl decided to play with that statement sarcastically. "Well, it's not as expensive as you would think."  
"Ooooh really?"

"Anyway." She pushed her plate away. "Enough talk of money. Politics is much more interesting."

And thus, the argument about whether China had been unified through the proclamation of the People's Republic of China by Mao or whether it was still not unified and had only attained a new set of leaders.  
Pretty soon thereafter, the movie put on for the kids ended and they all came scurrying into the adjacent dining room. Or, the two girls scurried. Kenji crawled. Their nanny followed the beaming children and got the Suoh's attention with the offer of a _Barbie_ movie. Kenji didn't actually care, he didn't actually know either, he was happy though that his mother and father came to settle them again. Jasmine had seen Yuuki and scampered under the table to hug her leg and decide not to let go.

The little girl giggled joyously and started to climb into the girl's lap. Yuuki picked her up and helped her there before she could ruin her skirt

"Surprise."

Jasmine clapped and laughed. "Supise!"

"No, darling. More than one syllable."

"Syllahbal."

"No. Syllable."  
"Supise!"

"Okay." Yuuki decided not to relive her fights with Riki.

The now student was standing at the door beside the nanny, watching the adults with wide eyes. "Is Kyoya still evil?" She called out for anyone to answer.

"Yes. Very." The twins said in unison.

Riki seemed a little forlorn, but then she thought of something and her face lit up. "I like bad-boys."  
Yuuki almost choked. "How old are you?"  
"I'll be older than you when I grow up."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. I will."  
"Sure?"

"Yes."  
"Can you do math?"  
"Yes."  
"What is the theory of relativity?"  
"Your face."

"Close." Pause."Hey! That's my comeback."  
"It's mine now."  
"You're a brat."  
"You married my man."  
"You're the second person to say that."  
Kyoya sat and listened in an amused manner.

His wife glanced at him. "Okay. Well. Now that his ego is nice and inflated, he can go destroy the world."  
It seemed that Riki believed her. "Really?"  
"Really, really."

The girl decided it was high time to go watch her movie and escape the evil clutches of the demon lord. She turned around to Yuuki as she left. "Well, I've been to Switzerland."  
"Well...I've been to...Australia."  
"Where's that?" Came the stoic reply before the girl disappeared.

Jasmine had been watching Yuuki's face as she argued. When the girl turned back to her, she smiled broadly and threw her arms around the woman's neck. "Yuu!"

Yuuki rubbed her back for a second and then peeled her away. "Want to go watch _Barbie_?"

"Yes!" The little girl reattached.

"Okay." She stood up and then realised Jasmine wasn't going to let go. Yuuki carried the girl through to the lounge and then pried her arms away and sat her down. It took about a minute for her to catch onto the screen.

Kyoya watched these events thoughtfully. She would have made a great mother. If she was given a second chance, she would make a great mother.

"What you thinking about?" Suki picked up a few plates. "No one except wifey can tell."  
The man looked up and slid his glasses a little higher. "Just...pondering."  
"Parenting?"  
"Pondering."  
"No. I heard you. Pondering parenting?"  
"No." He lied.

Suki sighed. "You two will come around one day."

"Maybe."  
"It's quite the possibility."  
"No. Not really."

The woman paused and met Kyoya's eye. She didn't know anything, but she thought she understood. The topic was dropped immediately. Yuuki looked at her husband over her shoulder. She was knelt down in front of the couch, trying to get Jasmine to latch firmly onto the TV so she could return. She smiled. Jasmine saw where she was looking and instantly jumped off the couch and rushed off to catch Kyoya.

"Got Yoo!" She cried happily, hugging his knee.

Yuuki sighed and sat down, laughing quietly. Kyoya smiled silently at the baby and picked her up and carried her back to the sofa. There he said, very officially, that she was to sit and enjoy the movie. It worked. Somehow.

His wife accepted his help up and they both watched the scene. Tamaki had Aimi on his lap and was explaining the finer points that all men should aspire to. Haruhi was settling Kenji to sleep. Jasmine saw her father sitting on the opposite end of the couch, holding a conversation with the twins, and she decided that if she was going to sit and enjoy the movie; she might as well do it on daddy's lap.

It was a world they had admission to, but didn't belong in. Hikaru and Kaoru were perfectly at ease, children still themselves. Hunny was Peterpan-toddler style, Mori was his big brother. Yuuki and Kyoya, they didn't fit in those categories or in any nearby.

But it was okay. No one fit anywhere near their own. Or fit it quite so perfectly. They stood in the doorway, like figures from a painting. Her with her arm around his torso and him with his around her shoulders. She was slightly turned into him, in a devoted way that let him breathe. If she deemed it the right time, she could easily breathe his air too. But it was not right. They were thinking. Standing. Being. Like guardians. Shadows. Always there, never understood. Always accepted, never fitting in. They had each other. And that's where it fit.

If someone had looked in through the giant bay window that displayed the room, they would have seen two families with children. Happy families. The rare kind. They would have seen tight bonds, friendships. Perfect siblings and perfect relations. Like a movie scene. Then they would have seen the pair standing in the door to the room. The pair who were exceptionally happy where they stood. Just as. But they would also have been happy inside the room. They were the smiles in a sea of laugher. The thought in a room of students. The water in the rain. The things that are and never were any other way and never would be anything else. And yet, inexplicable. Their world shimmered on the edge of their friends'. Just there. Just visible. But out of reach.

If someone had kept watching, they would have seen them take their leave and slip into the night. They would have seen them get home and have her convince him to lie on the grass at the front of the house with her and confuse stars for satellites. They would have seen them kiss on the porch after sharing a few words, laced with melancholy; like the closing of a previous conversation. And then they would have been forced, unconsciously, to look away. As if it were a holy site. But it was not. It was just was and always had been.

-

_I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain  
The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_(Broken, Seether)_

_-_

--------

_Inspired by the piano piece Kiss the Rain by Yiruma. _

_Please let me know what you thought. Your input is very important to me. Constructive criticism is also welcome. I appreciate every review you leave, they help this story continue. _

_A big thanks to my reviewers for your support. You are all amazing. Thank you. _

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	37. Chapter 35

-

**Chapter 35**

-

Yuuki got an email from one of the teenagers at the house. He was saying goodbye. She said she didn't know he was going home. He told her that he was sending himself there, thanks for her help. She called him immediately.

"Liam." She breathed when he picked up.

"_Don't. Please don't tell me what to do."  
_"I'm not going to."  
_"Then why did you call?"  
_"I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie?"  
There was a long silence. _"When?"  
_"Now." Yuuki glanced at the clock. It was eight PM.

"_Now?"  
_"Do you have something better to do?" There was a slight challenge in her voice.

Silence.

"Liam. I know what sort of discharge you want, and if you're going to do it, at least humour me to a movie."

"_You're not going to tell me not to?"  
_"You have to tell yourself. I just prod the idea. I'll come pick you up."

Long silence. _"Okay."_

"Think of what movie you want to see."  
_"Okay."_

"I'll be there in half an hour."

"_Okay."  
_"Okay?"  
_"Yes."  
_"Yes?"  
_"I'll wait for you."_

"Good. See you soon." Yuuki hung up and then dialled a cab before rushing upstairs to change out of her pyjamas. Kyoya had been sitting in the same room and watched her rush off, his expression capricious. His wife had left the room so fast he gathered she hadn't even remembered he was there.

"Wait." He called as she shot past, pulling on a jacket.

Yuuki stopped moving and ended up skidding a meter or so on the wooden floor. "Sorry. Have to run."  
"Where?"  
"Movies."  
"So I gathered."  
She glanced at the time on her mobile. "One of the kids needs my help."

"What sort of help?"  
"The sort that keeps him out of the morgue."

"Oh." It was a difficult statement to respond to. "Do you need help?"  
Yuuki was looking at her wallet. "Do you have any cash?"

Kyoya smiled and told her where his wallet was. She disappeared again, only to reappear a minute later and skid to the edge of the couch he was sitting on. She kissed him happily goodbye, though one couldn't help but notice that her touch was edged with worry.

"Go." He pushed her lightly away. "Tell whoever it is that I say hello."  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
"Sweet." Yuuki knew that Liam had wanted to get into business. If Kyoya Ootori said hello, it would be more encouragement than three days in a conference about self-help. "Love you."  
"You too." Pause. "What time will you be home?"  
"No idea. Sorry." There was a short hoot from outside. The cab had arrived. "Before one. Hopefully."

"Okay." He turned back to his laptop. "I can defiantly find something to do until then."  
"Rome wasn't built in a day."

"Ah, but nether were hospitals."

"Catchy."  
Kyoya smiled. "Go."  
"Right." Yuuki turned to run, turned back sharply and kissed his cheek thankfully before rushing out the front door and into a cab.

Kyoya realigned his glasses and shifted his computer slightly. Yuuki's job was to help people. His was to create the business that ran the business that helped people. Sometimes he was needed, sometimes she was needed. It's not like it was his job to tie her down and stop her from her work. She was her own person with her own job. Just as he was. If he could understand that and accept it, then she would do the same for him. Of course, working all the time was not fair to your partner. There needed to be a balance. Yet, flexibility allowed for emergencies, and even though Yuuki's emergency didn't relate to him, it related to someone who needed her.

Yuuki climbed out of the cab with Liam at the cinema. He seemed a little embarrassed. He had planned to do something and had been thwarted, and for some reason, on second thought, he was a little glad. The woman picked a movie about two sisters who fall in love with the same man. Something completely irrelevant to his life. Afterwards, she took him out for something to eat.

"So, like this better?" Yuuki asked.

"Better than what?" Liam was a tall, gangly man of sixteen.

"Better than whatever you had planned."  
"Well, it's better than hell if that's what you mean."  
"And you would kill yourself, knowing you would go to hell?"  
Silence. The boy stared at the table.

"Well." Yuuki leant back. "I think that's pretty stupid. If you want to escape, escape somewhere better than this."  
"Heaven is out of bounds."  
"Why?"  
"Because, heaven wouldn't be if someone like me was inside its gates."  
"Is heaven about you, or are you about heaven?"  
Long silence.

Yuuki undid the cap on a bottle of water. "Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why did you want to commit suicide?" She said it bluntly.

Liam looked at the table. "Because..."  
"Because?"  
"Because I wanted to."  
"Do you still want to?"  
"I don't know."  
"Why did you email me?"  
"I don't know."  
"Was it because you wanted a way out? To see if someone cared?"  
Silence.

Yuuki drank some of her water. "Did you email anyone else?"  
"No."  
"Do you think that if you had, they would be sitting here too?"  
Pause. "Yes."

"Then why did you want to kill yourself? Especially when you know people care enough to want you not to?"  
"Because, it hurts." He thought he was the cause of his parent's divorce, and thus the cause of everything wrong that happened with himself and them.

"You know, its not your fault."  
"Yes it is." Pause. "If I'd been a better son..."  
"If I'd been a better mother I would have a baby right now"

Liam looked her in the eye. "I don't..."  
"Just because you think it's your fault, doesn't mean it is. And it will scar you forever, but you can accept that." Pause. "You have emotional scarring and that can be used as a foundation for the future. You could use it to build other people up out of the pit you currently find yourself in."

Liam nodded slightly. "Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"I think I understand now."  
"What?"

"That I'm not the only person who thinks life sucks."  
Yuuki laughed. "It sort of rocks too."

"Where?"  
"Why don't you and a few of the other kids go to that new theme park on Saturday?"  
"How? None of us have money."  
The girl smiled. "I'll pay. Its alright."

"No. It's too expensive. You'd be in debt."  
Yuuki waved a hand in dismissal. "What are friends for?" Pause. "Take Su-yi."

Liam blushed.

"No. Seriously. You guys get on like a house on fire. You can move on with life and work things out at the same time. It's not like the world will stand still for you."

The boy shook his head. "I...couldn't."  
"You don't actually have to ask her out."  
"Yes." He nodded. "I do, it's the rules."

"My husband never asked me out. Not once. He never did that thing you guys did, the 'oh...I like you...do you want to be my girlfriend?' thing."

"How did he do it?"  
"We got on like a house on fire. He didn't need to do anything."

"Really?"  
"Really." Pause. "There are no rules. Boundaries, yes. But rules? That's for you to decide. You obviously have reason to like things here on earth. So why not like them a little longer?"  
There was a long pause. "Okay. Maybe."  
"Promise me."  
"Okay."  
"Promise you'll stay around until Saturday."

"I promise."  
"And promise you'll let me pay for a day out for you and a few friends?"  
"Promise." Pause. "How many is a few?"  
"Um...Like...more than two, less than say...fifty?"  
"Fifty?!"  
"What?"  
"Geepers."  
"When you're a big business man, you can pay me back."  
Liam stared.

"Oh. By the way." Yuuki stood so that they could go. It was nearly one, they'd been talking for hours. "Kyoya says hello."

The boy frowned. "Which Kyoya?"  
"Ootori."  
"Of...the...Ootori Group?"  
"Your hero."  
"How...does he know who I am?"  
"I told him I was visiting a friend. He said to say hello."  
"How do you know him?"  
Yuuki put her bag on her shoulder and guided him to the cab. "I married him."  
"What?"  
"True. He could kick you off to create the 'Liam group'."

The boy stared.

Yuuki laughed. "I'm being serious."  
"You married..."  
"Yes. I did. And you thought I'd gone off and wedded some happy little bloke who I met in middle school."  
"Does that mean you're..."  
"Yuuki Cunxin? Yes."  
"How do people at the home not know?"  
"You all have your own problems. It's not a secret, Chou knows. I'm just a people. Like you."

Liam swallowed and nodded. His mind was defiantly further away from where it had been earlier. How long it would last, Yuuki didn't know.

"Alright. Stop staring."  
"Does Su-yi have to fall off a horse?"  
Yuuki laughed. "No. Please, don't do that." Pause. "I see you know Kyoya's life story."  
"Yes..." The Ootori was the man Liam aspired to. Successful, rich, loved. "Can I meet him?"  
"If you come wait for me tomorrow morning, or, this morning, same thing, then he'll be dropping me off."

"Really?"  
"Just keep your promise."  
"Okay."

"Bye Liam." Yuuki shut the cab door and sent him home. She sighed. Very few people at her work knew who she actually was. Last names were not something she played with. Anyone in Japan who heard the name _Ootori_ quickly turned their heads to the noise. It was a family who had just lost a father and husband, who had sported a big, beautiful wedding, who had married into the middle class; they were people that the public could related to. A sort of hope. They were human and they fell, literally. Yuuki didn't much like that though. Being a public figure. She was just her.

The girl climbed into a cab and headed for her house. Everything that had happened to her was a result of something else happening. Like dominos. She fell off her horse, she lost her scholarship. She stayed with Kyoya, they became friends. He taught her how to work at more than riding, she discovered a knack at working out riddles of the human mind. They threw a party, she fell in love. Without the beginning, there would be no end. Not many people realised that life happened because of what occurred the day before. They say the past is past, but really, the past knocked down the direction for the future. If your life is made up of rooms, the one after that which you are presently in is determined by how you live in it. Mess overflows. Liam had found that. He had seen his flaws and that was it, and that was all he carried on. Yuuki had only ever seen her flaws until she met Kyoya. Sometimes all we need is a person with a mirror that tells the truth. That's what she'd done that night. Held up a mirror and shown Liam more than what his perspective allowed him to see. More than a way out. She'd shown him options. Just like she'd been shown options. There were things beyond anyone's sight that all others except yourself knew about.

Yuuki arrived home at one thirty. The house was dark and quiet. The girl took her shoes off and left them just inside the door before creeping upstairs. There was no actual need to be quiet; Kyoya was like a breathing log. It didn't move unless forcefully prompted to. Yuuki changed out of her day clothes and washed her face with cold water before turning her mind down for the night. She slid into bed and stared at her husband's back. His breathing was steady and he smelled like peppermint and sandalwood. Cool and crisp and masculine. Just Kyoya. If she could bottle him, it would sell for millions. Maybe because she'd buy it all back.

Yuuki slid her hand beneath where his arm rested down his ribcage and moved so that she was neatly aligned with his spine. Puzzle pieces joining all quiet like. People could try to seek them out, but they'd never find anything. Private moments were just that. Private. People wanted to know them, or their money. People wanted to be them. But it was impossible. The only people that the people could be, was themselves. If they thought that the life of an Ootori was desirable, they would be right. But their own life should be more desirable than that of others. Their own dreams bigger.

Yuuki had found in Kyoya a saviour of sorts, a guide and had in turn been the same for him in a way that gave him the most profit. For those without a saviour, those like Liam and those who are broken and alone; she was a light. Something to guide them when all other guides had left. That was her job. And she'd learnt it through experience and lived it every day.

-

Kyoya woke up that morning to the sound of Yuuki's phone buzzing. She'd changed the ringtone to something more annoying than her previous one. Fighting Dreamers by Go! Trumpeted through the silence.

The man snarled and glanced over his shoulder. The bedside table was empty. She must have put her phone on his side by mistake. If they had sides. It varied. Kyoya picked the phone up and saw a picture of Tachi on the screen. It stopped singing and listed a missed call. Somehow his wife had slept right through it. Her arm was draped around his torso from behind, her hand sporting the jewellery she never took off.

Kyoya let his head collapse back onto the pillow. The phone rang again. He picked it up and answered. "She's asleep." He hissed.

"She shouldn't be." Tachi said flatly. "Wake her up."  
"No." The man whispered lowly. "She came home sometime this morning."  
"Uhuh. I don't care. Get Yuuki's butt down here."  
Kyoya hung up. The phone rang again. "Tachi, I'll get you hauled off my property."

There was a sigh at the other end of the line. "If she's going to Grand Prix Tokyo then she's got to train." It was the one event Yuuki did annually to keep in the circuit. She'd won two years before and come third more recently, proving she still had a knack for her now half-job. "Zero has to keep fit too."  
"Train the horse. I want at least half a wife by the time she actually wakes up. On her own accord." The hand shifted slightly. Kyoya lowered his voice. "One day won't kill you. Or her."

Tachi sounded angry. "You don't understand...she has a schedule!"

"I do understand. I also understand that she's the one paying you. So if she misses a ride, it's not your concern. You are her employee and will work for her benefit even in her absence. Have a nice ride. Coffee machine turns on at six thirty, enjoy." Click.

Kyoya turned the phone off and set it down beside his own. They really needed a no-phones policy. It would never work. But it was worth the thought. Yuuki moved slightly behind him and the man turned over carefully so that her arm would remain around him. She mumbled something about the time. Her husband didn't reply, he just tucked her against his chest and began to drift back to sleep. Sometimes you just had to give someone a break. Even if they didn't really need it. It showed that you cared, even if you spent your days pretending to be cold in a room of men doing the same. It told her that their world still existed completely. And in it being theirs, they were theirs. Little secrets and poignant moments. Cheats to a game no one knew. Plot to a story no one would read. It was their creation. For them. And in the middle of saving lives and building the empire that did so, that could get lost. Which is why they paused, not to catch their breath, but just to breathe. Kyoya hadn't known how to breathe before. Yuuki hadn't known how to breathe normally. But they knew now. It had taken a lot of learning, but they'd done it. Achieved an equilibrium within themselves.

She smelled like roses still, with a touch of white tea. Like a hidden passion. Sometimes she smelled like peppermint, but it was okay because it went well with her and the scent that already existed.

_-_

_All I am, all I'll be  
Everything in this world  
All that I'll ever need  
Is in your eyes  
Shining at me  
When you smile I can feel  
All my passion unfolding  
Your hand brushes mine  
And a thousand sensations  
Seduce me 'cause I_

I do cherish you  
For the rest of my life  
You don't have to think twice  
I will love you still  
From the depths of my soul  
It's beyond my control  
I've waited so long to say this to you  
If you're asking do I love you this much  
I do

In my world, before you  
I lived outside my emotions  
Didn't know where I was going  
'Till that day I found you  
How you opened my life  
To a new paradise  
In a world torn by change  
Still with all my heart  
'Till my dying day

_(I do cherish you, 98 Degrees)_

_-_

"Liam will be waiting." Yuuki had her elbow on the window of the car, her head in her palm. "He thinks you're a god."  
"Really?" Smugly.

"Uhuh." She yawned.

"You're going to be home at midday today." Fact.  
"I already planned to be. I want to go running."  
"We have a treadmill."  
"And a bevy of maids, but sometimes one would like to experience the real thing."

They pulled through the gates to the Youth House. It looked like a big, old school. Teenagers formed close huddles along the drive. A few waved at the car, they knew Yuuki was inside even though few knew the driver.

"Mmm." The girl said, sitting properly. "I'll come see you."  
"At work?"  
"No. At the north pole. Of course at work."  
Pause. "I'd like that."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."

"Okay." The car stopped. Yuuki smiled slightly. "I'll see you at...one-ish." She leant over and kissed him goodbye. Kyoya returned the favour and it was a short while before his wife actually opened the door and climbed out. There was a weedy young man standing, talking to a smiling girl, on the steps that led into the main building. He waved at Yuuki. "Hey Liam. Good to see you this morning." They exchanged a look that the girl didn't understand. "Want to meet Kyoya?"

The man in question appeared behind her and offered his hand. "It's irrelevant. I want to meet him and thus he has no choice."

Liam stared and it took a moment before he actually shook the hand offered. "Sir...hello..."  
"I hear you saw a movie with my wife last night?"  
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry to have kept her so late."  
"It's fine." Kyoya put a hand on the small of Yuuki's back. "She wanted to see the movie and I, quite frankly, did not."

Yuuki nodded. "It's true."  
Liam was still staring. "It...it's an honour sir."

Kyoya smiled and took up the role he knew as a host. "It's not sir to anyone but my employees and journalists."  
"Mr Ootori, sir." The boy corrected.

Yuuki nodded formally and turned to her husband. "Sir. Coffee?" It had been their plan all along. Kyoya was going to be a little late for work.

"Sure." He kissed the top of her head and locked his car. It beeped in obedience.

Liam was speechless. "Can I come?"  
The woman laughed. "Duh." She took her husband by the hand and dragged him to the kitchen at the back of the house. It was huge. The sort you need for a lot of people. There were a few long tables in the middle of the giant room and that's where Yuuki settled her husband and the boy.

The girl, Su-yi, followed and helped her. "I thought you'd married a musician or something, it just seemed like the sort of person you'd end up with."

"Yes. People who find out who my husband is often say that." Yuuki pulled some cups out of the closet and glanced at the men. Kyoya looked very refined beside Liam. Probably because he was, but the teens nerves weren't helping.

"What are they talking about?" The girl asked, pulling out the coffee. It was instant. No one had to know though.

"Opportunities."  
"What sort?"  
"If he deems it, Kyoya's going to fund Liam through university. Depending on how he proves himself, he may even end up with a job at the Ootori group."

"He would do that?"  
"Kyoya?" Pause. "No. He wouldn't. It is not something that would bring him merit."  
"Then why..."  
"Because, he believes in being the best, despite ones circumstances."

"Is that what KO-3 means?"  
"It is. Third son, Kyoya Ootori."

"Wow. And you got him?"  
"Yeah." Yuuki looked at her husband. "He's pretty hot hey?"  
Su-yi laughed. It was like music. She wanted to be a singer. "I didn't want to say it. Not to you."  
"Oh. Go ahead. Don't say it to him though. His ego is like...massive." She drummed her fingers on the counter. "Like...you have no idea." Pause. "What about Liam?"  
"What about him?"

"Reckon you'd still like him when he's an Ootori protégé?"  
"Still like him?"  
Yuuki gave her the 'girl look'. "I've been there, done that. You're like a puppy to milk."  
Su-yi blushed. "Oh...I don't know."  
"Don't hide it. Let it happen."  
The girl picked up two of the coffee cups. "Okay." She hurried to the table, embarrassed.

Yuuki followed and stood at the head of the table. "And?"  
"And...it's a good investment." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

Liam didn't get it. Su-yi was beaming. The boy stared again. "What?"  
Yuuki smiled. "I think you just got a ticket to college."  
"Make it worth my while." Kyoya smiled in a business like fashion and offered his hand over the table.

The teen took it eagerly. "Really?"  
"Yes. Don't make me regret it." The man's tone was light, but he meant every word. If he was going to help someone, they'd better help themselves too.

"Yes, Sir."  
"Okay." Kyoya stood up and put his hands in his pockets characteristically. He turned to Yuuki. "Its instant."  
She scowled at him. "How on earth do you know? You didn't even drink any."  
"I was educated that way." He grinned smugly. "And now I have to go to work."  
Liam stood up. "Again, I'm sorry for keeping Yuuki so late."

The Ootori turned to him. "It's alright. I've kept her much later."  
"Oh my gosh." Yuuki slapped his arm. "Get out."

Liam was laughing. Kyoya's ego playfully threatened to burst out of the room and invade the world. His was turning scarlet and was pushing him back towards the door.

"Gee." She hissed good-naturedly. "That wasn't an awkward way to start my day."  
"Your teenage occupants love to talk."  
"Yes. Preferably not about me." She paused by the car. "But thank you."

Kyoya smiled genially down at her. "He's smart. He just doesn't know it." Pause. "Sort of de'ja'vous from someone else I know."  
"Uhuh." The girl knew exactly who. "This coming from you. Kyoya Ootori, maintaining his bottom bar while everyone else struggles to keep up. I mean duh, you tried to be the best, but not better than your brothers."  
He laughed lowly, still in his host club facade. "Yes. We all make mistakes."

"The tête-à-tête worth it?"  
"Like I said, he's smart, he doesn't know it."

"But was it worth it?"  
"We'll see, wont we? He has to finish high school first."

"Okay." Yuuki hugged him goodbye. "I'll be seeing you."

Kyoya leaned down and kissed her. There was a rowdy cheer from the other side of the lot. The men's group had seen and were watching. Yuuki waved a hand at them and her husband smiled haughtily. "I like it here."  
"Maybe. I doubt your reasons though."

"Dare doubt me?"  
"Yes." Yuuki laughed as he opened the door and climbed into his car. "Regarding that anyway."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up and nodded goodbye. "Love you."  
"You too." She shut his door and watched him drive out of the gates before ducking her head and hurrying inside.

A flock of girls surrounded her. "Oh my gosh, who was he?" The chimed in unison. Yuuki wondered if they'd practiced that.

"Um. Kyoya."  
"Oo." One of them said. "Is he like...single?"  
They'd obviously only seen him as she led him out. "No. Not at all."  
The girls seemed crestfallen, and then a little angry. "Who's his girlfriend?"  
"Well, I wouldn't know."  
"Why? You seemed to know him."  
"If he has a girlfriend, she's going down. And then he's going down and sleeping on the couch."  
The gaggle stared for a second. "Wait..."  
"Mmm...." Yuuki left it to them and decided to lock her office door. Any male that saw her that morning was grinning roguishly. Needless to say, getting out at midday was less of an exhaustion thing and more of an embarrassed thing.

Of course it would be old news in a week; the teenagers there had their own problems. Kyoya knew that, he also knew they'd want something to keep their minds off their problems. In his own, confusing way, he'd done them a favour and maintained his privacy. Yuuki now had a husband with a face. No one at the house would even consider telling anyone but those in the house about what they had seen or heard. They were a secret society almost, preparing to put themselves back into society.

The kids who thought they were misunderstood had seen the most misunderstood phenomena of their time. Or ever. And it helped them some. To know that there were those who were immaculately happy as they were. Exactly as they were.

_-_

_Ordinary no, really don't think so  
Not a love this true  
Common destiny  
We were meant to be  
Me and you_

Like a perfect scene from a movie screen  
We're a dream come true  
Suited perfectly for eternity  
Me and you

Every day, I need you even more  
And the night time too  
There's no way  
I could ever let you go  
Even if I wanted to

Every day I live  
Try my best to give  
All I have to you  
Thank the stars above  
That we share this love Me and you

Every day, I need you even more  
And the night time too  
There's no way  
I could ever let you go  
Even if I wanted to

Ordinary no, I really don't think so  
Just a precious few  
Ever make it last  
Get as lucky as  
Me and you  
Me and you

_(Like me and you, Kenny Chesney) _

_-_

Yuuki got home at twelve and wandered through the house. There was a blank DVD case on the coffee table, Mako had brought it around the day he' barged in on her trying to drown her husband. She'd never actually thought about it. The girl picked it up and looked at the CD. It was blank. She contemplated it a minute and then put it back on the table. She needed to eat something and then go see Kyoya. By the time she got to his office, she'd forgotten about the DVD.

The Ootori group building was very, very tall. It was one of many that reared their heads higher than the clouds on a story day. The thing about Japan was that they tended to build up, not out. As head of the building, Kyoya was at the very, very top. He even had a private heli-pad.

Yuuki went to the reception and found an elderly woman behind the desk. She smiled crookedly. "Hello dear, how may I help you?"  
"Good afternoon, I need the scan key to get to the top floor."  
"Ah, yes. Sorry, I thought I recognized you." She dug in a drawer and pulled out a key-card. "Here you go Mrs Ootori."

"Thank you." Yuuki smiled.

The woman's eyes crinkled as she smiled for real. "By the way, your latest Vogue shoot is lovely. My daughter buys it."  
"Oh. Thank you ma'am. I'm glad you liked it."  
"That's alright. Have a good afternoon."  
"You too." Yuuki waved lightly and disappeared to the marble hall that contained the elevators. She went to the one right at the end and scanned her card. It took a minute for the elevator to come from the top to the bottom but she was soon in it and climbing up the building. She thanked the fact she'd worn flats that day. When she was nervous she bounced slightly. Yuuki didn't much like very high heights.

When the doors opened, a huge room with a floor to ceiling window greeted her. The view afforded a look-down over the city and displayed a large storm cloud headed for them. The receptionist here was a middle aged, efficient looking woman who was on the phone.

"Good afternoon." Yuuki stood at the desk and put the key-card in her pocket, along with a mental note to get one for herself. She waited for the woman to finish on the phone.

"How may I help you?" The receptionist had a hard voice.

"I'm here to see Kyoya."  
"And your business with him is?"  
"I told him I was coming."  
The woman raised an eyebrow. She'd obviously not read Vogue that month. "Please hold." She pushed a button. "Mr Ootori, there's a woman here to see you." There was no reply. "He's on the phone...Miss...?"

"Mrs Ootori." Yuuki corrected.  
The receptionists eyes gave her a once over. "Oh." She said flatly. "Yes. You should have said so."  
"Sorry. It's a habit." People tended to gush when they heard her last name.

The phone buzzed to life. A familiar voice called over it. "Send her in."  
Yuuki didn't hesitate and pushed open the door beside the window. "Send me in? What is that?" She said happily.

"Maintaining face." Kyoya smiled and stood from behind his desk. His wife opened her arms and he filled them. "Hard day?"  
"All the boys were being rogues and all the girls wanted to kill me."  
"Well, I'll have you know that I got a call from downstairs from an associate saying that some 'pretty young teen' was riding the elevator to my floor. Be prepared."

"Teen?"  
"You're white and Japanese. Age is sort of an unidentifiable issue for you. You look mature, but how much so is questionable."  
"Oh. Really?" She caught his undertone. Yuuki looked out the window. "How do you work with that?"

"What?"  
"View. It's so high. My feet are tingling."

"You've been here before."  
"Yes. But never before a storm."  
Kyoya walked over to the window and looked out. "You get used to it."  
Yuuki stood a few steps back. "Yeah. One would hope."  
"Yes." He corrected.

"Whatever." The girl sat on the end of his desk and fingered a few papers. "I see we've been invited to the theatre."  
"Do you want to see Beauty and the Beast?"  
"It's my life story." She grinned smugly. "If it's the Broadway version, it should be amazing."

Kyoya returned to her and sat in his chair. He had his back to the window and towards a wall filled with books and paintings and various ornaments that were received as gifts. "I'll say yes then."  
"Wait, who's it with?"  
"The Germans."  
"Okay. I can speak German."  
"Yes, yes." Kyoya mocked. "So can I."  
"Oh. Be impressed."  
"I am impressed."  
"But with yourself too."  
He smiled slightly as his computer beeped. He turned to the keyboard and typed a quick reply to the email.

"Who was it?"  
"The French Ambassador. He sends me an email every day to say good morning. Well, its morning for him."

"It's the thought that counts." Pause. "Are you coming home?"  
"Now?"  
"Uhuh." Yuuki swung her feet and thunked her heels against the side of the desk.

"Let me check." Kyoya typed a few thing, looked at a few things and then sent a few things. "Yes."

"Sweet." The girl slid to her feet.

"In a minute." Her husband said, pushing his glasses up.

She shook her head nonchalantly, waited a minute and then climbed onto his lap. "Minute."  
"You're not an egg timer."  
"Unfortunate choice of words." Yuuki laughed.

"Yes. They were." He was she wasn't upset about them. It was alright. She had finally relaxed about the issue. Kyoya leant back and stared at her.  
"What?"  
"If it's storming we can't take the helicopter."  
"Awww." Yuuki said sarcastically. "And I so wanted to ride in the air through a storm."  
"Its' a stupid idea." Her husband tucked a hair behind her ear. "Let me finish here and we can go home."  
"Okay." She smiled sweetly and kissed him adoringly.

The computer sang a strange tune and a voice called over it. "Bonjour, Kyoya...Yuuki."  
The girl glanced at the screen. The French Ambassador was video calling. Yuuki very swiftly stood up and disappeared behind the computer. Kyoya's composure was exactly as it should have been for a business call, only lighter because his wife was turning red. "Hello Jean."  
There was a low laugh over the speakers. "Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you face to face how appreciative we are of the Ootori group here in France."  
"And I appreciate you telling us so."  
"I also appreciate the fact that you're incorporating French custom into your own life."  
Yuuki put a hand on her cheek in an embarrassed manner and thought about how her day was cursed with lack of privacy or awareness.

Kyoya smiled. "Yes. Thank you." Somewhat awkward.

"Anyway." Sigh. "I won't keep you. I must go expand the medical horizons."  
"Yes. Thank you for calling."  
"It's my pleasure."  
The computer beeped off. Yuuki stared. "Surely there's an option to open a webcam?"  
"There is. The French system bypasses it. We're working on that now."  
"You better be."  
"You're getting a lot of publicity today."  
"No thanks to you."

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "Okay. Home."  
"Yes. Whatever." Yuuki crossed her arms and stood straight and uptight.

The Ootori shut his computer down and collected what he would need to work at home. He then pressed a button on the phone to connect to his receptionist. "You can go home if you'd like Jai, have a good weekend."

"_Thank you sir, I will try."_ Came the reply.

Kyoya stood and pressed his hand into the small of Yuuki's back. "Come on."  
"No touchy." She said flippantly. "I'm jinxed today."  
"Uhuh." Her husband guided her out of the room and into his reception. "Afternoon, Jai."  
"Goodbye, Sir." The woman was typing something on the computer. "I'll lock up."  
"Thank you."

Yuuki had her arms crossed. Kyoya expected them to come undone in the elevator but she pointed at the camera. "You're getting good at this."  
"And you're utterly terrible at it." She laughed. "What happened to the mystery of an Ootori?"  
"You're still a mystery."  
"Yes, but we won't be."  
"Ha. I doubt it."

True. "Like...a hundred people saw you 'say goodbye' this morning."  
"A whole hundred?" It was more like ten.

"Yes. A whole hundred."  
"And then the Ambassador."  
"And Mako." Pause. "We need to control that somehow."  
"Like how?"

"Like...turning off your bloody webcam." Yuuki sulked.

Kyoya laughed. "Hey, the French invented that."  
"I don't care." Pause. "And no they did not. That was not what they invented; they...did...it differently."  
The man just stood with a hand in his pocket and smiled the smile reserved for moments of amused awkwardness for another. "Well, he was impressed."  
"Yes. Enough."

"I told you before we got married, you're an Ootori and you're going to have people watching the things that normal people do and making it an event."  
Yuuki's arms were still crossed. "Well, at least the kids have something to talk about...I'd prefer if it wasn't me though."  
"They would talk about you anyway. You're Yuuki Cunxin."  
"I thought I was an Ootori?"  
"Well...by name." His expression was roguish.

Yuuki raised her eyebrows and laughed. "Oh. I see how it is."  
"Mmmhmmm." Kyoya became a business man in an instant as the doors opened. "It is as you make it."  
"I did not make it like it is. You did."  
"Sure." He nodded at a man in the foyer. "You pretend it's normal, so will the world."  
"That's not true."  
"No, to a certain extent, it's not." They walked outside. His car sat in one of the few car-parks above ground and on display. They were all reserved. "But as I said, you are an Ootori now. You'll learn."  
"Whatever." She opened the car door and climbed inside and waited for him to too. "I can be an Ootori by blood."  
"Really?"  
"No. Probably not."  
Kyoya shook his head humouredly and pulled onto the street. "Well, whatever the world says, you are my wife and that means something."  
"What does it mean to you?"  
"More than you know."  
"I know, don't worry." Yuuki smiled. She knew, not for herself but for him.

-

When they got home, Yuuki found the DVD again and scrutinised it.

"What is that?" Kyoya said sitting down on the couch with his laptop.

"Mako dropped it off." The girl turned it over.

"Put it on."  
"Hm..." Yuuki hesitated a moment, hoping it wasn't a practical joke of some sort. In the end she slid it into the player and took the remote off the coffee table. "I'm perplexed." She turned it to the right channel.

"Mmm." Kyoya was lost in a pile of emails that had arrived since he'd left the office.

His wife hit play and crossed her legs. The screen was blue and the speakers hummed for a second before dropping down to low laughter. The pictures moving across the TV showed a party with pastel coloured balloons and a jumping castle. In the background was a large green paddock. A little dark haired boy ran across the screen with a toy plane.

The person filming laughed. Her voice was like a bluebirds. "Birthday boy!"

Mako bounced. "Look at my plane mama!"

"Yes. Who flew it?"  
"The Baron!" He called happily.

"Go play with daddy."

"Where is he?" Mako looked a little troubled.

"By the pool baby."  
The boy turned around and saw something off screen and ran off. The camera followed him to a clean swimming pool, full of children playing. There was a group of men standing in a loose circle, their laughter very baritone against the backdrop of kids laughing. The little boy stopped in front of a younger and smiling Shang Cunxin and lifted his arms up. The man picked him up and blew a raspberry on his cheek. They were talking but the camera was too far away to pick up the words.

The scene cut and was suddenly filmed by a wobbly hand, but of the same party. "Mama!" The little voice called.

Cara Cunxin appeared wearing a lavender dress and sporting a seven months pregnant belly. "Be careful Mako."  
"Yes, mama."

A few seconds later the camera was dropped and the grass was filmed for a few minutes as the boy cried out in surprise and then obviously ran away.

Yuuki watched and laughed brightly. Kyoya glanced down at his computer. He'd become distracted by the film. In the end he closed Marvin and put him on the coffee table.

On the TV, Yuuki's mother was lying in bed and looked very tired, but very happy. A two month old was sleeping, finally, in the crook of her elbow. She was whispering at the camera. "I'm definitely not a morning person." Low laughter. "But this one is."

"Gets up with her dad." Came Shang's voice from behind the camera.

Yuuki woke up and started yelling. The camera turned off again and the scene switched to the little girl walking for the first time. Her hair was curly and soft.  
"I was such a chubby baby." Yuuki said watching.

Kyoya laughed and ran his fingers up her spine.

The little girl took a few hesitant steps and then jumped in excitement and fell onto her bottom with surprise. She then giggled and stood up again. Mako promptly entered the room and hugged her spontaneously and then ran off. Yuuki tried to run after him and face planted the tiled floor. "Aw baby. Lucky you don't have teeth yet." Cara appeared from off screen and picked up the shocked baby. She didn't even cry. She just clapped happily and rubbed her nose with her pudgy fingers.

"You _were_ a fat baby." Kyoya said.

Yuuki smiled and let her head fall onto his shoulder.

The scenes changed from her first word, which just happened to be 'saddle', to her first ride and her first day at school. At five she was slight with a pretty, happy face. Her tight curls had turned into the waves she had today and she was pale, like a white peach.

"You haven't grown a bit." Her husband said lightly, leaning back and pulling her back with him.

"I know..." Yuuki sulked. "It's so depressing."

Kyoya smiled and ran his fingers through the tips of her hair.

The last part of the film was of a fair day. There were bright colours and horses. Mako and Yuuki got filmed having a fight over what colour horse is the best. They then forgot about their fight and rode the Ferris Wheel. Yuuki's laugh hadn't changed. It was still bright, happy as it should be. But it had taken a while to get like that.

The woman glanced down at the coffee table as she saw her mother tacking up a horse. She then looked back up and smiled as Cara did. It was like she was smiling through the camera and at her.

A six year old Yuuki was standing at the horses head, petting its nose. "Mom?"  
"Yes darling?"  
"What's dad doing?"  
"He's tuning the car engine with some friends." Mako was obviously filming. He would have been eleven.  
"Why?"

"Because." The boy called from behind the camera. "It's making funny noises."

"Oh." The girl paused. She was wearing a blue checked shirt and jeans with butterflies on them tucked into bright red cowboy boots.

Cara picked her up. "Alright you. Let's go riding."  
Yuuki smiled happily. "Together?"  
"We left Pancho at home." Pancho was her first horse. A chestnut pony with a sweet temperament.

"No, I wasn't arguing." The girl said, now in the saddle, waiting for her mother to climb up behind her.

"No. Not you." Her mother rolled her eyes and mounted with ease.

Mako protested. "What am I supposed to do?"  
"We won't be long. The show starts in an hour and mommy needs to be there."

She never would get there. The next scene was of a lot of black clad men and women, carrying a coffin laden with white roses out of an old country church. Mako stood with a fierce expression on his face and refused to look at his sister as they stood outside. She had a scrape on her chin, rode burn. Their father came out and took Mako by the hand. He ignored Yuuki. He blamed her and it was obvious.

The shot ended and turned into a brightly coloured podium with a quiet, dark haired girl on the top, receiving a blue ribbon and waving at the crowd. Then it ended.

Yuuki stared at the TV. "I...I was a fat baby."

Kyoya put a hand behind her head comfortingly and let her burry her face against his neck. "You look like your mother."

His wife breathed. "I forgot what she looked like."  
"You were six."  
"I was cute." She said laughing softly. "It's okay, I'm okay."

Kyoya knew she was alright. But he held her anyway. Because that's what he would want her to do for him. In her own way. Specialised to him. "It wasn't your fault. At all."

"I know."  
"But you feel it is?"  
She nodded. "I was there. That's probably why. I was directly there. And I saw everything."

He didn't even want to know what it was like to see someone he loved disappear below a truck. Like Horse Whisperer, only uncut. "Like the baby?"  
"Sort of."  
"You were there, you experienced it. But it was beyond your control."  
"I know."  
"Then believe it."

"At least you don't resent me for it." Yuuki kissed the underside of his jaw thankfully.

Kyoya traced tight patterns on her shoulders. "I resent a lot of things, but you are not one of them." He resented his father, he resented that he'd been away when his wife miscarried, he resented the fact that it had taken so long for him to live and not just have a pulse.

The girl turned the TV off and settled against him. "Do you want pizza?"

She wasn't avoiding any topics, she just understood them. Like the days when they were at Ouran and would just sit and know. Before they fell in love. It was something they shared.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Don't want to cook?" The woman who did it was on holiday for a long weekend.

"No." She shook her head. "Not really."  
"Want to try?"  
"With you?"

"Sure."  
Yuuki laughed and then stopped abruptly. "Sorry." Pause. "It's just that...I cannot see you cooking." Pause. "At all."

"Well, it's time to see it then."  
"Have you _ever_ cooked?"  
"No." Kyoya stood up and peeled his wife off the couch.

Yuuki shrugged. "Okay."  
They tried to make pizza. Important word: tried. Half an hour later, they were both covered in flour. Yuuki had filled the cup to high and blown the mountain of white powder into her husband's face. He had promptly smacked the underside of the measuring cup in her hands and covered her front in flour. And then they tried to decide what cheese to use. They had five types and spent ten minutes just staring at them. In the end, they settled for mozzarella. And then argued over the topping. Half an hour after that, it finally went into the oven. After a debate about the temperature.

"Yes. You suck." Yuuki wiped her face and found that it had a thin layer of flour on it.

"I think we sucked together."  
The woman contemplated this thought for a minute. "Mmm...yeah."  
"Ye..."  
"Whatever." She cut him off.

Kyoya smiled and sat on a stool.

Yuuki put a hand on her hip. "You have flour on your face."  
"So do you."  
"Can you see?"  
"I did clean my glasses."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"What a pity." She clucked her tongue. "I'll have to do it again."  
"If you do, it will prove mightily negative on your part."

Yuuki thought about this. "Yes. Probably."  
"Still want to do it?"  
"Yes."  
"Don't."  
She glowered mischievously at him.

Kyoya paused. "Is something burning?"  
Yuuki turned to the oven quickly and pulled the pizza out. They'd burnt it to the point where saying it had been on fire wouldn't have been far from the truth. "Well...um..." They ordered dinner instead.

It was okay to be happy after a moment of sadness. It was okay to look back and only feel a dull pain. Because, even though that moment in life was one of the worst there ever was, it was still only a moment. One of many etched into the mind of those who carry it. And there was another who created more moments, ones that were a ladder out of sorrow. But you had to climb the ladder yourself. All they could do was stand at the top and wait for you. If they waited for you. Gilded butterflies were weighted beauty. Butterflies free were as they should be. Touched by life and touched by a blessing.

They clung to each other that night. Providing protection from what should have hurt, guarding from nightmares. It had never been about carrying the others pain, but rather helping them lighten the load. Everyone dealt with their problems in a different way; it was up to the other to work out the best way to help them. Often, it was as simple as loving and expecting nothing in return except to climb higher with the other person.

It was a night formed by a miracle. And thus, produced one.

-

_You gave me wings and made me fly  
You touched my hand I could touch the sky  
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me  
You said no star was out of reach  
You stood by me and I stood tall  
I had your love I had it all  
I'm grateful for each day you gave me  
Maybe I don't know that much  
But I know this much is true  
I was blessed because I was loved by you_

_(Because you loved me, Celine Dion)_

_-_

A month later, Yuuki scrambled in from her riding lesson and threw up in the kitchen sink. It was early September and she wondered if she'd caught a bug. Their sixth anniversary came. Their relationship was very much the same as it was six years earlier, only somehow better, deeper. There was more that was inexplicable. And more for others to be confused over. Talk of a baby was imminent but dismissed by the couple. Even the media reported that it was going to happen. Which hurt a little but was accepted.

Yuuki found that her bug kept coming back and she decided to see a doctor before Kyoya caught it and decided to hate the world for a few days.

She sat in the suit with her feet hanging off the examination table. Yuuki was wearing her aged bomber jacket. The one Tamaki had brought to her the day in the hospital so long ago. It was a favourite. It stood for more than a gift from a friend. It was the earliest record of the beginning of the rest of her life.

The doctor slipped into the room with her results. "Well, you are absolutely fine."  
Yuuki was a little confused. "I've been suffering in the morning, how am I fine? I thought I had a bug?"  
"You do."  
"Will my husband catch it?"  
The man laughed in the way doctors do when they know more than the patient. "No."

"Then how did I catch it."  
"He probably gave it to you."  
Yuuki was confused. "I don't get it."  
"Well." The man looked at his chart. "You have the sort of bug you have to nurture. You can send it to playgroup. It will cause you a lot of stress and drain you of money."  
"Do I have cancer?" The girl was a little horrified.

This time the doctor roared with laughter. "You are the most oblivious person I know."  
"Can you just tell me what I have? And what I have to take to make it better?"  
The man looked at her thoughtfully. "Yuuki, dear, you're pregnant." Pause. "Is there a problem with that?"  
Yuuki felt the blood drain from her face. "What?"  
"Were you and your husband trying for a baby?"  
"Um...yes?" Pause. "Yes? Maybe?"  
"I'm sorry. I don't follow."  
"I'm not able to have kids. I had an undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy."  
"Well, it seems your other side works fine and on the off chance, you hit the jackpot and scored that two percent." Pause. "Do you want a baby?"  
There was a long silence. "Um. Yes?"  
"I asked you the question."  
Yuuki thought for a long time. She was scared. The girl nodded. "Yes. I do." She had accepted that the chances of her getting pregnant were exceptionally low to the point of impossible. But she hadn't accepted that she would never have children.

"Good." The doctor smiled. "Go see your obstetrician."  
Yuuki went straight. He congratulated her and told her it was a miracle. Which was something coming from a doctor. They either believed in science or God. He also told her that a natural birth was out of the question, her body was not in a state to do that and it she was going to have to monitor her pregnancy closely as the damage to her womb was to extensive to allow anything otherwise.

Yuuki was in a surreal state. She didn't know what was happening and it didn't register until she did a test herself at home. And she cried. Because she didn't know what to think. She wanted to be happy but didn't know if it was the right thing for her to have a child. She'd got used to the idea that she wouldn't.

The girl sat on the bathroom floor and ran her fingers through her hair as she stared at the little plus sign. Yuuki ran her hand over her face and exhaled. Her breath shuddered. It was like waking up and believing your dream was real. It was a second chance. It was a gift. And she was freaking out.

The next thing she did was get her mobile and take a picture of the blue cross and send it to Kyoya.

He called her a minute later. "_Yuuki?"  
_"Yes?" She cradled the phone against her face.

Silence.

"I went to the doctor and..." she swallowed. "he couldn't work out what was wrong with me. And it turns out there isn't anything wrong with me. And Kyoya, I'm about to hyperventilate."

"_So..."  
_"Yes."  
_"Yes?"  
_"We're going to have a baby." Yuuki leant against the bathroom cupboard. "Or...we're supposed to be having a baby. Or...I'm supposed to be pregnant."

"_Supposed to be?"_

"We said it was almost impossible. I...oh my gosh."

Kyoya breathed down the line and hung up. Half an hour later he was at home. His wife ran to him at the door, threw her arms around his neck and cried. He carried her through to the lounge and sat down, Yuuki still gripping against him. "What's wrong?" He supported her head against his neck.

"I can't. I can't, Kyoya." She was trembling. "I can't do it again."

"Do you want this?"  
Yuuki sniffed and looked him in the eye. "Yes." Pause. "Do you?"  
"Of course."

"We said 'that's all' though. Is that going to change? I love me and you. I don't..."  
Kyoya pressed her lips against hers. "Nothing is going to change. You hear me? Nothing."

"I'm scared."

"Me too."  
Yuuki ran her nose along his jaw, her eyes shut. "I don't want to lose you."  
"I don't want to lose you either. But I won't. I'll gain you; there will be a little bit more of you." He brushed a tear away with his thumb and kissed the ghost that it left behind.

"Is my heart supposed to grow to love another person like I love you? I don't know what to do or what to expect or...it's..." She exhaled unsteadily.

"If there's anyone who can say a heart can grow, it's me. Relax, nothing is going to change, you want this, I want this."

Yuuki breathed for a bit. "Okay."  
Kyoya rested his hand on the curve of her neck. Her pulse was beating as fast as his was. Like timers set to each other. Ticking down to a miracle. He pressed his forehead against hers and felt their breath mingle and spill off them. "It's okay."  
His wife nodded. "It's okay."

They sat like that for a long time, until both of them calmed down. All they could hear was a heartbeat. Theirs or the others they couldn't tell. It didn't matter. It was beating like one heart. Like one being. Like them in a single creation. Something so deep and secret and unique that it was impossible to be a result of anything but them. Just them. Raw and unrefined; ungilded.

When they kissed it was like the first time. Every time was like the first time. Like every star in the sky exploding, tingling, shivering down upon them. Every touch was electric. It always had been and always would be.

"Oh my gosh." Yuuki smiled. "We're going to have a baby."

-

------

_I was actually going to leave it and not have any children at all. But...I wrote the finale already and it felt incomplete without it. So..._

_Only a couple more chapters to go! If you have any suggestions for another story, please do tell. I will probably write a Hunny one-shot. If you want another anime or story, suggest that too. _

_Also. I will probably write an 'about the author' so...if you have any questions for that. Please ask them and make sure to say that they are for that part of the story or I will just answer you. Haha. I love reading the 'about the author' at the back of books and if I'm going to finish this, then I'm going to do it right. _

_:D _

_So...reviews please. Constructive criticism welcome. _

_Blessings and thank you so, so much for reading. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. Seriously, you guys are amazing. Your support is fantastic._

_-pp_


	38. Chapter 36

-

**Chapter 36**

-

The thing about being a celebrity in Japan meant that you could be a celebrity for just about anything. Kyoya was for business, Yuuki was for many unidentifiable reasons, the most common of which was being the face of Chanel Japan. They were dubbed the 'loved up and lasting' couple in recent media and had been photographed doing trivial things. Like shopping. This was probably due to the lull in exciting world happenings and the need for something of interest. And thus, interesting things were made up. Like an Ootori movie.

Yuuki stood with a newspaper in the kitchen and scratched her head in a confused manner. "Um...there's a movie about us?"

Kyoya glanced at the article over her shoulder on his way to the coffee machine. "That's the first I've heard of it."  
"They keep making up things." Pause. "Did you know that last week that I had a tall sexy dark haired lover with a little blonde brother? But we broke it off because of my guilt."  
"Mori?"  
"Yes. Apparently. But, we, being you and I, are very much in love so there is debate raging about that little affairs truth."  
"How did they get the Mori idea?"

"I went out with Haruhi to get a cake for some tea Tamaki was holding and Hunny and Mori tagged along." Yuuki turned the page of the paper. "Have people really run out of so many things to read that they have to read about the lives of others?" Pause. "Oo look. You're gay." She held up the gossip section. "And I'm supporting you through your trying time."

Kyoya took the paper and stared at the page. There was nothing about him on it. "And you're just as bad as the media."  
"I was being sarcastic; of course you're not gay. If you were, the Mori thing might have been true. Someone had to give me reason to inflate." She was two and a half months pregnant and her stomach had not changed at all. "I'm going to miss being little."  
"You hate being little." Kyoya poured himself some coffee.

"Well...I worked hard to get a flat stomach and now it's going to undo."

"You worked hard?"  
Yuuki smiled. "I bought that Pilates video."  
"It's still sealed."

"Well, I use the treadmill. And I ride."  
"You won't be riding."

"Yes, I will be."  
"Do you want to keep the baby safe?"  
"Yes...but..."  
"And if you fall off?"  
"I won't."  
"Promise?"  
Innocent silence.

"Yes. I thought so." Kyoya sipped his coffee and leant back against the counter. "As soon as you start showing, you stop riding."  
"No." Yuuki crossed her arms. "That's like...six months without."  
"You won't show at three."  
"I'll have a permanent food baby."

"No one's going to see it."  
"Including you."

The man pushed his glasses up. "You're not going to get unattractive."  
"I'm going to inflate like a pool toy." Pause. "And then be all...wobbly...afterwards." Yuuki pulled an unhappy face at this revelation. "I'm going to get fat, aren't I?"

Kyoya shook his head in an amused manner. "No, you're going to stretch."  
"NO!" His wife walked around the counter so she could argue without something in the way. "That's bad!" She looked at her stomach. "Bad baby. Don't."

"Yuuki, you're only two months."  
"In two more months I'll be two times bigger!"

"A whole two times?"  
"Yes." Pause. "I'll fit your clothes properly then." Happy place. Even though the point was not fitting them, just wearing.

Kyoya smiled. "No, you won't. Your shoulders won't grow, or your hips for that matter. Just your stomach."  
"You know, that's the worst thing you could have said."

He put his mug down and leant back on his hands. "So your main concern is getting big?"  
Yuuki sighed. "No. I'm just trying to make that my biggest concern. I'm losing it inside every single moment." She was trying to ignore the possibility that what happened last time would happen. It had been a very small chance that she would actually get pregnant. And she didn't want it to go away.  
"Couldn't tell." Kyoya said in a lightly sarcastic tone.

His wife hugged him. "Will we be able to do this in six months?"  
"With a little bit of leaning."

The girl made a small noise of protest. "Don't say that."

"You'll be fine."  
"You mean we." She said into his shirt. "You're pregnant too."

Kyoya considered this statement. It was _their _child. She was just the one carrying it. "Okay. We'll be fine."  
"You're always fine."  
Her husband ran his hand down the small of her back and kissed her temple. "You alright?"  
"Like I said, I'm freaking out inside, all the time." She relaxed slightly. "I could be the little train that could, but I think I might run out of puff before nine months. The little train knew it had a load, it always expected that."

"Well, we got lucky."  
"And its load didn't grow, and grow and then threaten to pop. In more ways than one."  
"You won't lose it."  
"You can't promise that."

Kyoya stared down her back and at the floor. No, he couldn't. "We'll go to the doctor and you can see for yourself that it's growing in the right place. He can tell you that you're healthy and perfect and he'll sign you up for a date to have it."  
"He did all that last time. Except the signing up bit. I don't want to get cut open." The more she thought about it, the scarier it was. She had to have a caesarean, it wasn't her choice. The damage inside from her miscarriage was too expensive for a safe, natural birth. Because of the scar tissue, there was also a chance that the foetus wouldn't implant properly and she then there was nothing anyone could do. "I could lose it again. Anything normal that the kid does could mean something goes wrong. It's really hard to carry full term anyway, let alone with a while bunch of self-inflicted damage."

"It wasn't self inflicted." He sighed.

"Not intentionally." Pause. "It's never intentional."

"As long as you know that." Kyoya tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We have a long way to go. You won't even show for a few more months. Just wait until you get into the second trimester, until you're in the safe zone."

Yuuki nodded and pressed her forehead into the curve of his neck. "Okay." Pause. "Are you scared?"  
There was a long silence. The signs of a subtle yes.

-

Yuuki was three months when the butterflies began again. It was the middle of the night and she'd woken up, not knowing why. And then she felt it. A shifting, deep inside. The girl and breathed. Her heart raced. It was alive. It could suck its thumb. It had thumbs. She wondered what Sayuri would have looked like, and if she would know her mother when they inevitably met. She wondered if she would have liked a younger sibling.

Yuuki felt Kyoya around her and then her baby inside of her. It was confusing. She didn't know where she fit into that. She just knew it fit well. Her belly was still flat, almost. No one would be able to tell, only her and her husband. Kyoya moved slightly in his sleep. Yuuki felt the baby shift again. Tiny little movements. Like tickles that didn't. She placed a hand on her abdomen and closed her eyes. It was okay. She knew it was okay.

-

_So hear this please  
And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly  
And look for the stars as the sun goes down  
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound  
Everything, everything's magic  
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight  
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride  
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine  
Everything, everything's magic_

_(Everything's magic, Angels and Airwaves)_

-

When you're half British, the British think you're fully theirs. Even if you live in an alternate country. Hence, they asked Yuuki over to England to promote Chanel's new line _Flora_ at Harrods. Of course, media and Yuuki did not get on like a house on fire. More like the house that was burnt down by a fire. But, if she was to be in the spotlight, it was better when she was half the size of what she would be in six months time. The magazines loved pregnancy, so, if the Ootori could keep them off her back by putting herself forward with a flat stomach. Then they wouldn't suspect anything until she went shopping in her husband's shirt and a pair of pants she would never, ever, ever wear again and would probably give to jenny Craig. And then somehow turn it into a trend.

Kyoya decided to set up meetings in the London headquarters and make use of the progress of Japan's business to boot up Britain's.

Yuuki's apartment was still in her name and the cleaning lady had been around after a quick call to the front desk whilst standing at the airport. Or...Kyoya was standing; Yuuki was sitting in the trolley-cart.

"I'm okay to travel right? I'm not an invalid yet?" She twisted in her seat and looked at her husband.

"If I said no and then yes, would you still get on the plane?"

"Yes." She grinned.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You're only three months. No one will know anyway. Unless you tell someone. You maintain a flat stomach. By the end of this month though, you will probably have that permanent food baby."  
"Wow. You are such a trooper." She turned around and scowled. "Speaking of food babies. Do you have any?"  
"Food or babies?" He said smugly.

"Well, I have the latter."  
"Cravings?"  
Yuuki pondered for a second. "Is really wanting Turkish delight and mint a weird mix?'  
"Not for you."  
"True..." Pause. "When I'm on TV, like the talk show that whoever lined up for me, where will you be?" She turned around to him again. "Please, please, please say in the audience? Please?"

"In the audience."  
Yuuki frowned. "Will you actually be _in _the audience? Or will you do that later when the show goes to TV and I just so happen to be in my pyjamas on the couch with you?"

Kyoya smiled smugly. "One of those."  
"I'll say nasty things about you."  
"Uhuh."  
"Uhuh." She mocked childishly.

Her husband stopped pushing the trolley. It was empty except for her sitting in the basket. Their luggage was already checked. "Yes." He said in an amused tone. "Is this like when I leave you here with the knowledge that, if you move, the trolley will over tip as you redistribute your weight to get off. OR, if I walk away and come back and help you out?"  
"Not at all like that." She crossed her arms and realised he was standing to far back to grab. "I don't see the connection."  
"It's the same thing. Just different circumstances."  
"Why don't you want to help me out?"  
"I do."

"Then be in the audience."  
"Yuuki, you're going on _Top Gear_, you can't drive."  
"So?" Pause. "I just have to talk about cars. Car's I've owned. You can come on too. I'll make a call. Then you can drive fast around corners and I won't yell at you." She stared at him with doe eyes. "Please?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and crossed an arm across his chest. "You will let me drive?"  
"Yes. Gee, it's not like I can." She saw his plot now. Her husband liked fast cars. And then she'd made him buy a Mercedes and not a Lamborghini. Kyoya's revenge.

"Promise?"  
"Yes. When did you need my permission?"  
"You have the phone number."  
She offered her phone. When he got close enough, she grabbed his sleeve and clambered off the cart and withdrew the mobile. "Are you crazy?" She slid it into her back pocket.

"No. But I am male and you're appearing on every man's favourite show." Pause. "If you're going to appear on British television and expect me to be there, I'm not only going to be present, but I'm going to be partaking."

"No. You will die."

"How?"  
"...petrol explosion?" Pause. "That's not the point. Do you want to drive fast?"  
"No, not really. But it will generate a new demographic for the Ootori group, and quite frankly its the one that needs proper medical management the most. When in Rome."  
"When in London."  
"Whatever." Capitalist ideals brimming over.

"You're such a money-grabber."  
"No, I'm a money maker. There's a difference." He took a step towards her.

Yuuki thought he was trying to be threatening and decided to be stubborn and not move. "Like what?"  
"Education."  
She hissed teasingly. "Oh. Harsh."

Kyoya towered above her. Yuuki wished she'd worn heels. He smiled complacently. "It's for the benefit of the Ootori Group."  
"I'm not a business man you can convince."  
"No. He would see the opportunities."  
"I'm pregnant, don't argue."  
"According to the world you're not."

She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it.

Kyoya tilted her chin up with his forefinger and thumb. "You're cute when you run out of arguments." He kissed her.

A second later, Yuuki realised what had happened. He'd nicked her phone. "Oi. No way. I said no host club antics on me." She petted her back pocket and found it empty. She looked at her husband and found his hands full. "You're dead. Dead."  
The man lifted the phone above his head as he searched for the number, avoiding the waving arms reaching for it with ease. "Oh, calm down. People are staring."  
He knew exactly what buttons to push. Yuuki stopped trying to get her mobile back and went to sulk on a bench. But only after nicking his wallet and buying herself peppermint tea to sooth her nerves. It smelt like him. So it didn't work as well as had been hoped.

Needless to say, three days later they were on the show. Together. Across from a musty smelling Jeremy Clarkson.

"So, you're both here on business." He said in his usual lilt.

Yuuki, who was closer to him, nodded. "Technically I was the one here on business. But Kyoya decided to do some too."  
"Yes, because you're British and you get invited. He's not and has to buy half the country."  
The girl laughed. "He would if it was worth the investment."  
"That's right." Attention shifted. "You could buy the whole world if you wanted to."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Not quite."

"And yet, the accent is perfect." The host turned to Yuuki. "Is he a perfectionist?"  
She started nodding, saw her husband looking at her and then started shaking her head. "Ye...no?"

"Look away." Jeremy ordered Kyoya. "Is he a perfectionist?"  
"Yes." Yuuki grinned.

Kyoya smiled. They both had their public faces on. "Am I supposed to be complimented, or betrayed?" His tone was humoured.

"Neither. Be indifferent."  
Clarkson laughed at the unsaid expressions that lingered between them. It was like watching classic wit without the words. "Anyway. Let's talk why you're here." He clapped at Yuuki. "To promote...woman things?" He sounded slightly disgusted.

"I'm here to promote Chanel's new range. _Flora_. Now on sale at Harrods."

"Is that like...perfume? Or..."  
"There is a perfume. But there is a new 'little black dress' range and a sneak peak for the spring line."

"Oh. Yes. Makes sense for this show." Jeremy said sarcastically. "We really just wanted you because you're hot and can ride a horse." He said the statement flatly as the crowd chucked at their own, made-up innuendo, and turned to the woman's husband. "And you? What are you here for?"  
"I'm here to make sure that your health system doesn't collapse." Kyoya would have put him into the system if he'd made the statement more lucrative to the men in the room.

"You own our health system."  
"Yes, but I don't run it."  
Jeremy Clarkson then made a joke about politics and turned their attention to cars. "So, cars. That's what we're here for. What was your first car?" He addressed them both.

It's very difficult to tell people that your first car was a Maserati GranTurismo 2009. But they were impressed. Then humoured at the fact that Yuuki had broken it, killed him; a statement they thought was an argument over his driving, and then broken his last car. All around, the Ootori's were a bit of a crowd pleaser. Pleasant to talk to. A tad mysterious. One was half British so xenophobia was dismissed underhandedly. And all around, good guests. They could go home and not worry about having the media dry of information on them. Quotes from an interview on a car show would be found respectively and used for months, preferably around six, before the paparazzi got hungry again. And the original interviewer would never ask questions relating to personal life beyond cars. Thinking like an Ootori had its benefits indeed.

Sales of Chanel went up 5% the next day at Harrods and private health insurance became a trend. With work done, Yuuki and Kyoya retired to the flat to watch old movies, read good books and listen to the rain while hiding under the covers where it was warm. Doing things that tuned into perfect harmony with the other. Without any effort. Things that just were and just should be.

-_  
Sometimes if you're lucky, someone comes into your life who'll take up a place in your heart that no one else can fill, someone who's tighter than a twin, more with you than your own shadow, who gets deeper under your skin than your own blood and bones._

_(Snoop Dog)_

-

When Suki came around for lunch the day after they got back from London, she was suspicious. Very, very suspicious. She'd noticed that her friend was wearing an elegant silk chiffon blouse, one that hid her figure but didn't mention anything about having gained a tragic few pounds. In fact, teamed with a pair of smoky jeans, she just looked like a model on her day off in a stylish one-size-to-large outfit.

"Hey, Yuuki?"

"Uhuh?" The Ootori was pouring tea.

"Has something about you changed?"  
"No."  
"Not carrying a little more weight?"  
Yuuki looked up with a hard expression. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
The woman laughed. "No, good weight?"

"Ah. So you are."  
"Are what?"  
"Carrying a little...bundle?"  
"I don't know what you mean."  
"My left foot you don't."

Yuuki ran a hand through her hair. "What?"  
"You and Kyoya have wanted kids for a while now, hey?" Suki stirred her tea, watching her friend with a scrutinising expression.

"Um. Yes."  
"So, what's stopped you?"  
The Ootori crossed her legs on the patio chair and looked over the paddocks. "Complications."  
"What sort?"  
Yuuki had felt bad for not telling her friend. But she didn't know how. "The sort that happen."  
"Now I don't follow _you."_

"Um." The girl inhaled. "Remember that night, long time ago, at your place. And I felt sick and went home?"

It took a moment, but eventually the event was recalled.

"Yes. Well, I was three months."  
Suki chocked on her drink. "What?"  
Yuuki traced the rim of her cup with the tip of her finger. "It was ectopic. I ruptured a fallopian tube and was rendered infertile." She looked at her friend. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know how."  
"Phuket, Thailand." The older woman said in shock. "Are you okay?"  
"Yes. I'm fine."  
"Would you get IVF?"  
"Oh. No." Yuuki shook her head, a small smile playing on her face. "No. We said that if it happens again, it happens. It wasn't going to be anyone else but us."  
"Hard decision."  
"Yes. But it paid off." The girl sipped her tea casually.

Suki paused. Hesitated. Paused again. Thought a moment and then blinked.

"It's okay." Yuuki laughed. "Lady Luck likes us."  
"Hol...you really are then?"  
"Yes."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
"How far?"  
"Three months." Pause. "Can't see it."

The woman squealed happily. "I shall get you a name for the bandwagon!"  
"No. No. Not yet." Yuuki put her cup down. "You are the first to know...besides Kyoya. It's still too early to tell if we're in the clear yet."

"Okay. Okay." Suki made an act of zipping her lips. A giggle erupted from the grass that the porch turned into. Jasmine was playing with a toy horse.

"She riding yet?"  
"No. I want her to work out gravity effectively first."  
Yuuki leant down and clapped for Jasmine to come to her. "Hey girlie. Come here."  
The toddler stood up and waddled over. Suki smiled. "You want a boy, or a girl?"  
"Honestly," The Ootori picked the child up. "...I don't mind. A boy would be better as an heir. You need a male brain to inherit the Ootori group. But I wouldn't protest if it was a girl."  
Jasmine gave the girl an Eskimo kiss and then hugged her. "Yuuuuki!"

Suki laughed. "I think my kid just might love you."

"I think she might love everything that breaths. She's going to get a broken heart one day."  
"Or many days."  
"Heart." Jasmine poked her chest. "In here."  
"Very good." Yuuki held her as the toddler clapped at the praise. "What else?"  
"Tummy." She rubbed her belly. "Head." And then smacked herself a little too hard in the forehead. It didn't stop her though. "Fingers, toes..."  
"Show me a palm." The Ootori said lightly.

Jasmine pointed at one by the pool. Of the foliage kind. "There."  
Yuuki laughed. "Good." She looked over the girl at Suki. "You taught her trees?"  
The woman shrugged.

"Baby!" Jasmine pointed at Yuuki's stomach.

At this, her mother burst out laughing. "I did not teach her that. Children know things we cant even imagine."  
"You saying you cant imagine me with a kid?"  
"No. But it's about time."  
"Oh come on. How old were you?"  
"Too old. I'd have done it at your age."  
"Do you know how old I am?"  
"I know you got married stupidly young."  
Yuuki glared playfully. "It worked."  
"Uhuh." Pause. "Hey, you know what's great about you being preggers?"

"What?"

"You get to buy bigger bras."

Yuuki laughed.

"No. Seriously." Suki leant forward. "I mean...you needed an upgrade anyway."  
"I resent that." The Ootori shot back.

"Oh, you're a petite thing. You will always be. I bet you one thousand bucks that you'll drop the weight like that."  
"Do I retain the bra size?"  
"No."

"Not worth it." Yuuki dismissed the bet.

Suki laughed. "I had another friend just like you. After birth she just; snap!" She snapped her fingers. "Became a mini again. It's unfair to the rest of us who have to work out to get the body back."  
"I can work out while I'm pregnant, right?"  
"Yes. Of course. Do Pilates and brisk walk on the treadmill."  
"Riding?"  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"You'll fall off."  
"I'll fall off the treadmill."  
Suki paused. "It's funny because you might."

Yuuki laughed. "I'm not that uncoordinated." She turned to the girl sitting happily in her lap. "Am I?"  
Jasmine shook her head and pointed at where Zero was grazing in the paddock. "Zero."  
"Yes. That's Zero." She sighed and turned to her friend. "What am I going to do? I love riding and I can't compete for...probably a few years. Zero's going to lose all his training..."  
"Get Tachi to ride him." Suki said. "His horse can't compete anymore and he loves the circuit."

"True..."  
"But it's your horse?"  
"Exactly. Zero and I are tight."

"Just see how it works out."

"Okay." Yuuki leant her head back. The sun was warm even though the weather wasn't.

"When are you due?"  
"Um..." She counted in her head. "May. I think."  
"You think?"  
"It has to be caesarean."  
"Why?"  
"Ruptured, broken, scar tissue, danger."  
"Ah."  
"Yeah."  
"Lucky you."  
"Why?"  
"I wanted to die."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. And I didn't talk to hubby the whole time."  
"Why?"  
"He put it in there."  
Yuuki laughed. "Well, mine's not going to be in the room."  
"Why?"  
"Because..." She paused. "...no. Awkward."  
Suki laughed this time. "You're such a loser."  
"What? Why?"  
"Because, you're all embarrassed."  
"Oh. Shut up."  
Jasmine turned around. "No. Naughty."  
"Your mother said 'loser'."  
The girl turned to her mother. "No mama. Don't say that."

Suki raised her hands in defence. "Sorry baby."  
Jasmine smiled and extended her arms to the woman. Yuuki handed her over. "She's pretty good with vocab."  
"She's older than the other tykes you know."  
The Ootori poured more tea and sighed. She was going to have a baby. And deep down she was screaming. But up top, it didn't seem so bad. All over though, she knew it was a miracle; and she was thankful for the blessing.

-

The next to find out was Haruhi. Suki told her. She figured that if Suki was telling, she could tell Tamaki.

Kyoya almost threw the phone at the wall when it rang in the middle of the night. He refrained and growled long, low and deep instead. Enough to wake his wife.

She blinked a few times and held her hand out of the device. When he handed it over, she picked up. "Tamaki, for the love of all that is holy, go to bed earlier."  
_"I am in bed."_ Came the defence.

"Okay, well, go to sleep earlier."

"_I'm French."  
_"I don't know what that means." Yuuki groaned, still laced with sleep.

"_Anyway. Why I called."_ Pause. _"OH MY GOSH CONGRATULATIONS!"_

The girl dropped the phone and then scrambled to catch it and hold it to her ear. "What?"  
_"A May baby? That's exciting! And to think...your good looks, Kyoya's brains...what a child!" _He obviously didn't see the insult in that statement.

"Tamaki, where did you hear this?"

"_Haruhi, of course. She says congratulations."_

"How did she find out."  
_"Suki."  
_"Oh. Really?" Yuuki was not pleased.

"_Yes. It's so wonderful!"  
_The Ootori hung up and fell back against her pillow with her arm across her eyes. "We don't have a gun cabinet do we?"

"I'm thinking about having one put in." Kyoya said, now awake. "What did he want?"  
"To congratulate us."  
Pause. "He knows?"  
"Yes."  
"How?"  
"Haruhi?"  
"Again, how?"  
"Suki."  
Pause. "Oh."

"Yeah."  
"Yes."  
Yuuki threw her pillow at him. "Whatever."

He put it under his head. "You're not getting it back."  
"What? No." She tugged at the cotton. "Give."  
Kyoya smiled haughtily. "How long until the host club finds out?"  
"We'll know when the lewd jokes begin again." Yuuki pulled harder.

"True."

"Kyoya...give it." She heaved back to no avail. "How heavy is your head?"  
"It's my ego." Came the smug reply.  
"Go figure."

"And the fact that I'm holding it on this side." He pointed over his head at the side opposite his wife.

"Huh." Yuuki sat crossed legged and thought a moment before pulling the pillow he had been using out from under the one he had stolen. "Ha. You taught me well."  
"Too well apparently." Kyoya rolled over to face her.

The girl lay down and stared at him. The man brushed the hair off the curve of her neck and rested his hand there, letting his thumb play lazy circles just above her jaw line. Yuuki closed her eyes. "You know what I think?"  
"What do you think?"

"I think that when we're all old and wrinkled like ancient tissue paper, you'll still be the greatest guy around. Stubborn, pig-headed, greedy; but deaf for the noise of his own awesomeness."  
Kyoya smiled in the dark. "And I'll think your still the most beautiful thing that ever crossed the face of earth."  
"You're not wearing your glasses." Yuuki opened her eyes again.

"I can see."  
"How many fingers?"  
"You're not holding any up."  
"Ah. You can see." She knew that he could see perfectly well for ten feet. Then things got a little hazy. "I hope the baby has your eyes. Such a nice colour."  
Kyoya breathed against her face. "I don't think I tell you enough."  
"Tell me what?"  
"That I love you."  
Yuuki shifted. "You rely on words to much." She kissed him softly. "I just told you. You tell me every second, and I know." She smiled. He was her best friend and lover. Just as it should be.

Her husband looked her in the eye. And then he spoke; only using words when necessary. They both knew the significance of the saying 'and the two shall become one flesh' only now it was something that other people could grasp. Or it would be in just under six months. But that wasn't the point. The point was to love something that was derived from love making. Something deeper than a physical being, but something treasured and close and equally fathomless in its provision of life and joy.

-

_There's a song that's inside of my soul  
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold  
But You sing to me over and over again_

So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands  
and pray to be only Yours  
I pray to be only Yours  
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars  
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing  
and laughing again  
When it feels like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours  
I pray to be only yours  
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my apathy  
I'm giving You all of me  
I want Your symphony  
Singing in all that I am  
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

_(Only Hope, Switchfoot)_

_-_

Needless to say, Tamaki told the Host Club. And then Mako found out. And then everyone ended up on the Ootori doorstep with balloons. And Yuuki's brother was avidly upset that he was the last to find out. She told him he wasn't; the world was yet to know. No one was supposed to know. Suki was happily mischievous and ever so slightly victorious for the rest of the day.

"Stop touching me." Yuuki lightly shoved one of the twins away. "Geez."  
They grinned. "Well, if you wore better clothes then we could see the bump."  
"There is no bump." The girl sat down and crossed her arms over her abdomen to protect it from any more poking. Or anyone talking to it for that matter.

"Not yet." The pair sat on either side of the girl. "Can we help when you're nesting?"  
"What?"  
"Nesting? You know. The obsession all to-be mothers go through. They _have_ to make the nursery perfect." They said in unison.

"Nursery?"  
"Yes. The baby's room."  
"Oh." Yuuki thought a moment. "Oh...right. Hm."  
Kyoya caught the end of this chatter and halted Tamaki's ranting for a second. "You are _not_ using the study."  
"We have like...three spare rooms." His wife shot back lightly.

"Only three?" Tamaki gasped. "Gosh Kyoya. What happened to your extravagance?"  
Yuuki grinned. "Downsized to accommodate the deflation of one extraordinary ego."

Her husband smiled and let the twins attack her with more questions. To be honest, Yuuki was exceptionally embarrassed by all the attention. It made her more confident though. She had the support she needed to carry full term.

"I'm so happy for you." Haruhi shoved the twins away. "If you need any help..."  
"I'll call you." The Ootori spoke over the last half of the sentence. "Often."  
"Scared?"  
"Understatement." Yuuki leant back. "People look at me different now. I'm not different. I'm just getting fat."  
"You'll get your body back. I got mine back."

"You were young."  
"You are young."

Pause. "Was I an infant when I got married?"  
"Just out of diapers." Tamaki flopped onto the sofa. "Not really. That was me being sarcastic." He smiled whimsically.

"Oh wow. Go figure." Yuuki frowned.

"What's wrong dear Yuuki?" The blonde cocked his head at her.

Suki came in bearing tea. "Oh, she's just embarrassed."  
Tamaki's eyes went wide. "My dear! Why?"

Hunny sat with Jasmine and Aimi in front of the girl and stared. "Yes, why?"  
All eyes were on her. Except Kyoya. He was writing something in his clipboard. "Um..." She closed her fingers on her elbow, her arm across her chest. "Because you're all looking at me like that! Oh my gosh. Go frolic in someone else's face."  
Haruhi smiled, knowing the feeling. She peeled her husband away before he could dote on her friend. Hunny grinned encouragingly and climbed up Mori. "Soon, Yuu-chan, you'll have a mini!"  
"Oh good."  
Mori nodded and smiled slightly. They'd never had much to say to each other verbally. But Mori did talk. Just like the twins were less-than-jerks. It just depended on how the relationship was structured as to how they were perceived.

Suki leant on the end of the couch. "Aw...Yuuki's embarrassed."  
"Aw...Suki's going to die."

"Hey, you got lots of stuff."

"Yes, like coffee and cake. The former of which Mr Butt-head over there won't let me drink."  
Kyoya waved casually, pen between his fingers, before returning to his work. Yuuki gathered that something had inspired his business related mind and he needed to record it in every single minute detail, then and there, before it escaped.

Suki laughed. "It's not a good idea. Drink milk."

"Wow, half a coffee."  
"Exactly." Pause. "Darling, you can't eat like you used to for nine months. For starters, you need to eat healthy."

"I eat healthy." Yuuki crossed her legs and picked Aimi up. The girl was holding her arms out to her. "I just don't eat healthy all the time."  
"Well, for nine months, you have too."  
"You mean five and a half."  
"And after? Can't let go. You will get fat that way."  
Yuuki sighed. "I took up pregnant lady yoga. Or whatever."  
"Have you been riding?"  
Guilty silence.

Mako laughed upon hearing this. He was standing a few feet away, pouring coffee. "Little sister, you don't say!" He sat on the arm of the couch. "Well, can't say anyone could stop you."

"Except health and safety." Suki smacked her friend on the back of the head.

"Ow!" The Ootori rubbed the offended area and then smoothed her hair down. "What was that for?"  
"Common sense."  
"It won't work if you kill my brain cells." Yuuki touched the subtle throb. "Geez." The baby shifted. "Even it doesn't like it."  
"It?"  
"Yes, it. Junior, whatever."

"It's moving?"  
"Shouldn't it be?" Yuuki looked a little worried for a second.

"Yes!" Suki exclaimed happily before rounding the seat and kneeling beside her daughter. Right in front of her friend.

The girl recoiled. "What?"  
"Can I feel?"  
"No."

"Why?"  
"Because..."  
Mako was laughing his head off. It wasn't helping. Kyoya was the only person who knew what the baby moving felt like. Other than Yuuki. But that went without saying. It was private. Very personal. Having everyone touch your belly was an invasive feeling.

Suki was pulling a face.

Yuuki extended a foot and gently pushed her away. Jasmine giggled and tackled her mother, 'pinning' her to the floor, not having quite grasped the concept that she could easily be moved off. "Hugs!" She kissed her mother's cheek happily.

"Wow, can I have your cleaners number?"Suki said after ticking Jasmine. "Your floor is amazing clean."

"Thank you. Please get off it." Yuuki said, standing up and escaping. She stood ever so slightly behind Kyoya and gripped his sleeve with her fingers. "Save me."  
He pushed his glasses up. "This is about you."  
"And you. People aren't grasping that."

"Only the ladies."

"Exactly." She hissed. "I feel molested."

Kyoya laughed. "I don't blame them."  
Yuuki pinched his arm gently. "Don't be disparaging. I need some support here." Pause. "What are you writing about?"

"I got an email this morning from my mother. She wants the boat."  
"Who has the boat?"  
"We do."  
Yuuki's eyes went wide. "We have a boat?"  
"Indeed."  
"Have we ever used it?"  
"Business men charter it. It's good for relations."  
"Oh. And you're writing because?"  
"Because, I need to order a boat that is exactly the same and tell my mother it's my fathers."  
"Why can't you just order a new boat and give the old one to mummy dearest? A better boat?"  
"I'd thought about that. But I like the boat."  
"I've never seen it."  
"It's an eighty foot yacht."  
"Eight zero or one eight?"  
"The former."  
"And I don't know about this because?"  
"Did you want to know?"  
Pause. "No...not really. But...wow." Pause. "How rich are you?"  
Kyoya smiled smugly. "Do you want to go boating?"  
Yuuki shook her head, still trying to grasp the concept. "Um...yes?"

Her husband turned and kissed her head. "Wait till the weather warms huh?" They'd had their first snow a few days earlier.

Thinking of snow, Yuuki thought of her horse. And then of her instructor. "Oh my gosh. Tachi has no idea." Pause. Her expression was mischievous. "You want to tell him?"

Kyoya chuckled. "Indeed."  
She left him to it. Half an hour later, the man in question flew through the front door and picked Yuuki up and spin her in circles. "I'm going to be a grand-daddy!"

The Ootori found her feet, felt nauseous and swallowed. "Um. You're not my father."  
"I walked you down the aisle. So I'm sort of your father. We're basically family."  
"True..." The girl smiled and hugged him. "Want to be the godfather?"  
"Well, sorry darling. Your husband asked me first. So you're stuck with me in that role."

" Really?" Yuuki glanced at Kyoya.

"Yep." Tachi smiled. "How far are you?"  
"Three and a half months."

"Out of the danger zone."

"Well..." The girl had spent the last few days waiting for something bad to happen. "Yeah...I guess so."  
"When you due?"  
"May. "  
Tachi hugged her again. "Congratulations Yuuki."  
"Thanks. But...air."  
"Right. Sorry." He let her go.

It was too late though. Hikaru and Kaoru had seen the embrace and joined in as the pair parted. Soon Hunny was in there with Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori, Suki and Mako. Tachi got very protective and acted as body guard. "Hey, hey. Don't crush her." Kyoya was laughing silently to himself in the corner. The man noticed. "Crush her husband. After all, it's half his fault."

The Ootori looked up just in time to be latched onto by Tamaki. Jasmine was the last to let go an hour later. She had to fall asleep first to do so.

-

Two months later, everything was going as well as could be expected. Yuuki had to be in at the doctors twice a week, sometimes more, for a check-up. A date was scheduled for the birth. May sixth. Four months away.

Every so often, Yuuki would sit and breathe for a bit. It kept hitting her. The first time it actually became a reality was when she and Kyoya were going out and she tried to wear a high-waisted pencil skirt. It used to fit perfectly. And then it was a little tight. Yuuki had stared at her stomach and cocked her head sideways. "I like this skirt..."  
"I like it too." Kyoya was putting a tie on. "But you can't wear it for a few months."  
"I can't drink coffee, I can't take aspirin, I can't fall over...which is actually very hard for me some days..." The skirt flew out of the closet and onto the floor. A minute later, another landed on top of it. And another. And another. Until there was a pile of clothes, all of different colours, fabrics and brands. "What's wrong with me?" Yuuki sat on the floor. She was surrounded by other clothes.

"You're pregnant." Her husband stood at the door.

She stared at him. "Oh my gosh."

Kyoya didn't quite get her shock.

Yuuki picked up a beautiful lavender dress. "I'll fit this again right?"

"Yes..." He nodded. His wife looked exceptionally odd. She was sitting with her legs right out in front of her, her back straight from hours of posture learnt in the saddle, surrounded by designer outfits and yet wearing a plain white blouse and seam-free boy-legs.

"I'll be able to...ride and smile and...sleep? I'll get to sleep right?"  
"Sometimes."  
"Don't say that." She threw a hat at him. "I hated being small, and now I hate being large."  
"Yuuki, you're hardly large."  
"But I will be." She gasped. "I'm going to be huge. Like this house."

"No you won't. Look at Haruhi. She bounced back."  
"You were looking at Haruhi?"  
"Yuuki, are you alright?"  
There was a long silence. "I'm pregnant." Yuuki stared at her husband.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "No darling, we are."  
The girl looked down at the small bump that had just appeared. "In there?"  
"Apparently."

"In me?" She put a hand gently on her abdomen.  
"Yes."  
"Right now?"  
"Either that or you ate too much for lunch."

Yuuki smiled. "There's a little person in there." Pause. Her tone became stubborn. "And it won't let me get dressed."

Kyoya offered her a hand up. "I'll help you."  
His wife laughed blithely. "No, because we'll be late."

"That's okay. There's a couple hundred going to this thing. No one will notice." He warmly slid his hand down from the top of her head and into the dip between her shoulder blades.

"I know that appearance isn't supposed to be part of a relationship, but that's very unrealistic. There should be an attraction somewhere, even if it's after you get to know the person and through who they are..."

Kyoya talked over her. "You will never be less that captivating."

The woman frowned. "Captivating beautiful, captivating great personality?"  
"Captivating both."  
Yuuki pondered for a moment. "But my curve is in the wrong place. It's like..."  
"It's exactly where it should be." For some reason, pregnant women often felt unattractive at some point. And most of the time, their husbands couldn't tell why. There was something significant inside, besides their soul, something that was a tangible part of them; growing. And she was healthy and smiling and the vessel of a phenomenon.

Yuuki felt Kyoya's hand against her stomach and the baby shift simultaneously. "It's moving."  
"I know." He kissed her temple.

"It likes you."  
"Mm."

The girl put a hand over his and kissed him. The baby moved again. Yuuki felt the outline of a little hand against her. But from the wrong side. From the inside. And right against her husband's. Kyoya pressed his mouth deeper against hers. There was something, someone, who understood them. Who was them.

Yuuki started nesting at seven months. She'd stopped working at the house and occasionally old patients would come over and help her. The media became obsessed after they saw her in a baby store purchasing a crib. It was white. Pure white, made of the finest wood and laid with navy blue padding at the bottom.

Kyoya came home one day to find his wife in the spare room on the far side of the house. The one with a giant bay window that overlooked the paddocks and the mountains beyond. Their room was directly above it with the same view. Yuuki saw covered in sky blue paint, wearing old jeans and one of his shirts.

The far wall had been painted a faint blue; the runners were still a crisp white, as was the far wall. It was snowing outside. Christmas was coming. Their gift would arrive in May. Yuuki had painted snowflakes in the cleanest white he'd ever seen against the sky blue feature wall. Only they would know what it meant until their child asked about it. And they would tell them that it was the start. It was where everything started.

Yuuki spotted her husband and grinned. "I didn't hear you come in." The girl went to give him a hello hug.

Kyoya halted her with a quick gesture. "White shirt."  
"I'm wearing one of those." She pointed at herself.

Her husband paused. "That's..."  
"I know. You have like...ten. So...."

Kyoya shook his head. "Okay."  
Yuuki slid her arms under his and said hello. When she pulled away, there was a line of blue on his collar from a patch on her jaw. "Oh look...darn." She rubbed it with her fingers, making the matter worse. "Ah...silly me..." She used the paint brush in her hand to try 'brush it away' and clucked her tongue as a streak of paint imbedded itself into the fabric. "Looks like you'll have to paint in that shirt." She dropped her hand and got a line of the sky on his crisp black of his pants. "Oh! Look what I did...darn..." Yuuki was not sorry at all. She shrugged and kissed his nose.

Kyoya started with a blank expression for a minute or so. Then she handed him a brush and he got her back. It took a week for the paint to come out of her hair. It never came out of their clothes.

-

And then the proper snows came. Yuuki couldn't ride. But she could stand in the middle of the paddock and watch the snowflakes with Kyoya at her side. It was like being on the balcony at the ball all over again. It was always fresh. Always the same as it had been the first time. And it always would be. They said eternity and you can't get sick of that. You can't even fathom it. But it was happening, to them.

She was still scared. She kept growing and growing. It was a miracle that it had survived so long, let alone happened in the first place. They were going to have a baby. Them. Kyoya and Yuuki. They were going to have their own child. Something entirely theirs. Something entirely them.

They were each other's best friends. The one that started and ended arguments. The one who kept them warm at night and provided not only company, but space. Who understood and motivated. They had proved that something like them was possible. That something people think doesn't exist, does. The only reason they call it fiction is because no one but them could fathom it. It wasn't perfect. But flaws catch each other. And then bind two pieces together with their rough edges.

They stood in the snow and watched the white contrast against the others hair. Catch on shoulders. On hands. On the tips of one's feet. They just looked and shared a million moments all in one.

It had taken so long, so much toil, to get to where they were. But they wouldn't change it. Not one bit. What they had been through could never be explained in words. It could never be gilded. Never made better. Never wear out, wear thin, die down. It was like a fire that kept burning, only growing with time, not dying.

Because, they met in a stable, became friends in a hospital and fit like puzzle pieces as soon as their minds clicked that it was how they were supposed to work together. Their love started on a balcony in the snow. But they started before that. Before they'd even taken their first breath.

-

_The one you love  
The one you care for  
Has told you everything  
You ever lived for  
The one you love  
Just walked into your life_

_She said hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me forever and keep me from harm  
Hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me forever in your loving arms_

'_Cos I love yo__u  
And I need you  
And I want you here for evermore_

_  
I'm__ just so crazy ab__out you_

_The one you love  
The one you prayed for  
Brought you an angel  
And the angel stayed for  
The light of love just  
Walked into your life_

_She said hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me for ever and keep me from harm  
Hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me for ever in your loving arms_

'_Cos I love yo__u  
And I need you  
And I want you here for evermore_

_  
I'm__ just so crazy ab__out you_

_The only one you ever lost your heart for  
The one you cried a million times for  
Your only dream has walked into your life_

_She said hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me forever and keep me from harm  
Hold me and keep me warm  
Hold me forever in your loving arms_

'_Cos I love yo__u  
And I need you  
And I want you here for evermore  
I'm__ just so crazy ab__out you_

_(Keep me warm, Cliff Richard)_

-

------

If you've never watched Top Gear (Britain), shame on you.

Kudos to Juno for 'Phuket, Thailand'.

I'm finding it so hard to keep writing. It just means I'm getting closer to the end. I hate goodbye's.

But not really at the same time. I'm going to use this story as a base for one I'm going to re-write. It's just the start. I . I still feel reasonably depressed about the entire matter. :)

Sorry about the mistakes in this chapter. Again, I've been very busy.

Please leave a review or PM me, let me know what you thought. Your support means the world to me, it's the reason this story actually got to where it has. Thank you so much.

Blessings,

-pp


	39. Chapter 37

-

**Chapter 37**

-

_A grand adventure is about to begin_

_(Winnie the Pooh)_

_-_

Yuuki would never make nine months. It was too dangerous. As her pregnancy progressed, the extent of damage caused by the first became more evident. The scar tissue extended down to the uterus itself and wasn't flexible like the rest of the womb. It would split if she got past seven and a half months. They'd only begun the nursery at the beginning of the seven month mark. A week and a half before she found out about the situation inside of her. Things had been going to well, and then to find out their child would spend a long time in an incubator, with them not being allowed to hold him, put reality back into their situation. It was only twenty five weeks. Her bump was small and she was worried about the child. If it was small, it would have less of a chance of surviving, especially at such a young age. She'd only just be into her third trimester when it was born. The baby's lungs and immune system would have only just started to develop. It sometimes got the hiccups and you could see when it kicked, not just feel it.

Yuuki was always overwhelmed with the task she'd been given. The gift. But she wanted to stop worrying about it going wrong. Stop being concerned over the risks.

She was sitting in the lounge with a newspaper when she found herself. Literally. "Look." She held up a paper for Kyoya who was sitting on the other side of the couch.

He stopped typing for a second and looked up. "I don't see anything."  
"It's me." Yuuki looked around the side of the page to make sure it was the right one. "But it's not me." She pointed at it. "That's you though." She pointed at him. The image was of them arriving at a winter ball. Yuuki was wearing a black dress that didn't hide her baby bump. The media had loved it. Kyoya was standing close behind her, so much so that her back was nearly buried into his chest, his hand around her and on her hip in a dominant, protective manner.

"So..." Kyoya was a little annoyed. She'd distracted him.  
"So. I want it out." She looked at her stomach. "It's heavy. I can't wear heels. I can't even wear riding boots."  
"You can wear riding boots."  
"Not to ride in."

He sighed and pushed his glasses up. "Most women love being pregnant."  
"I love being pregnant too, it's wonderful. But non-stop for nine months? You try doing that."

"So, you don't like a good thing non-stop for an extended period of time?"  
Pause. "Yes..."  
"And of our marriage?"  
Thoughtful pause. "If you ever kick me in the spine, then yes. I won't like you." He knew what she meant though.

Kyoya smiled. They had a very active baby. But it slept when they did, so no one was too stressed about it. "You're bored, aren't you?" She couldn't work, couldn't ride, couldn't do much except drink tea and walk on a treadmill.  
Yuuki pulled a face. "Yes." Pause. "Not...of you. Let's not get misconstrued. But...I video call a bunch of teenagers. Go to tea. Wobble instead of walk...I like being young but being immobile and young is..."  
"Annoying?"  
"Yes." She sighed and folded the paper messily. "What's going to happen to us when this thing is born?"  
"What do you mean?"

"Like..." Pause. "We'll have to look after it, all the time. And it will live with us, all the time. And I don't want to not see you. I like 'just us'. It's nice being with you." Still not a big baby person.

Kyoya saw where she was coming from. "Yes, but, it will be something else that's nice to be with."  
"Will that mean that all our time is going to disappear?"  
"No, we'll make time."

"I just got so used to the 'just me and you' thing, that now it's going to be 'me, you and it' that..."

"It will always be 'just me and you'. Always. There will just be an extension of that." The baby was just them.  
Yuuki smiled softly. "Everyone just seems so 'OH MY GOSH! BABIES!' and I'm sort of 'oh my gosh...babies...' and its disorienting."  
"It's just you."  
"What does that mean?"  
"You have a very interesting perspective of the world."  
"Well...."  
"Yuuki." Kyoya looked her in the eye. "Do you want this baby?"  
"Yes." She didn't hesitate.

"Will you regret having it?"  
"No."  
"Will you love me all the same?"  
"Yes."  
"Would you regret not having children?"  
Pause. "Yes."

"Then what's the problem?"  
"Understanding that." She noticed that he'd put his laptop down. "Would you regret not having kids?"  
"I would."  
"And you want this, even though it means I'll love something else?"  
"It means you'll love something else too. In a different way."

"I can't love you less, but there is no space left in my heart for anything else. It's all you."  
Kyoya smiled and opened his arms. "Come here."

Yuuki curled into him. "I mean...I can't wait to have this baby. Sometimes very literally. But...after last time..."  
"It's not going to happen like that. You are my entire world. And I'm your entire world. And the baby is entirely us." He wrapped an arm around her waist and rested his hand on her stomach. "It's just got to be a bigger world."  
His wife hugged his torso. "I like how you describe things. So intelligent."

Kyoya smiled. She'd distracted him to the point where work would be a distraction at that point. Somehow, she had this way of merging into and then taking over a situation. "The nursery came out well."  
"It did." She sighed contentedly. The room had a sky blue feature wall with white snow-flakes on it. The rest of the room was an off cream colour. Since they didn't know the sex of the baby, it wasn't gender dominant. There were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. Kyoya had got an astronomer in to craft it with an artisan so that it would accurately represent the night sky. Yuuki had put up fairy lights to make the room warm and comfortable at night and had painted an old rocking chair she'd found at a garage sale to match the bone white crib. It had a navy pillow that went with the crib lining. There was a long couch with pillows and a throw by the bay window and a bookcase with everything from Causer to Dr Seuss. There was even a surround sound system that would play gentle classical music to help the baby sleep. It attached to a microphone above the crib that would let the parents, upstairs, know when the baby was awake or fussing through a new digital clock on the bedside.

Kyoya drew a lazy circle on his wife's stomach. "One more week."

"You're going to be a dad."

"You're going to be a mom."

"I suddenly feel old." Yuuki smiled.

Her husband smiled. "You're not. We are incredibly lucky. We wanted this and we tried for it. And we finally have it."  
"I know. Remember the whole 'wedding night' thing I went through?"  
Kyoya remembered. "Yes."  
"Well, this is like that. I'm freaking out. It's insane. But it's something I want."  
"Maybe that's why I'm a little 'freaked out' too. It's a big thing."  
"Maybe."  
"Are you scared?"

"Worried. Anxious. Not scared."

"Excited?"Kyoya smiled and kissed her shoulder.

"Anxious excited. Still anxious. Worried though. Maybe where this whole fiasco comes from. Worry."  
"About?"

"Such an early delivery. Will it be okay?"  
"It's in your best interest."  
"But the baby's interest..."  
"The baby is not legally alive."  
"But it is to me."  
"You come first. If you got hurt again because of pregnancy, I couldn't forgive myself."

"I'd forgive you."

Kyoya smiled mutely.

Yuuki looked up at him. "Doctor said that, because I have it before eight months, I'll be able to get my old body back...with a few modifications..." Her expression was impish.  
"Modifications?" Her husband frowned.

"Suki and I have a bet. I'm hoping she's wrong."  
"Betting on what?"  
"Whether I'll still be a washboard again or if Victoria's secret will offer me a job. I could be like Elle McPherson, except, I know never exactly. She's like...hot as. I'm just...fragile. But I could have her bra." She grinned decorously.

Kyoya laughed. "You're so shallow."  
Yuuki laughed with him. "Hey, it's not just for me. Do you know how uncomfortable an underwire is?"  
"Can't say I do."

"Merit with a little loss huh?" She sighed with a little laugh. It didn't really matter her, sure, she wanted an Elle McPherson body, but she wanted to be her. She was her and that was fine. If she was fit and healthy, it would be perfect. "I'm worried about it coming out so early. I know I want it out, but I also want what's best for it."

"The doctors know what they're doing."  
"Okay." Pause. He was an exceptionally supportive person. It probably came from being so organised and structured. A past of being uptight and pristine. But it worked for them. His true colours were her favourite. "I love you."

"I love you, Yuuki." He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair. "Always."  
She looked at her wedding and engagement ring. "Forever and a day."  
Kyoya smiled and tilted her chin up. Yuuki leant the extra distance and kissed him happily. Forever and a day with him would hardly be difficult. Not in the long run. They fought. They stressed. They missed each other. They felt tensions. But it was them. Always them. And their baby, even though hard to carry around, was something they wouldn't miss. For anything. To grow together and then see them, moulded into one body with a unique soul and nature. It was perfect. With all its flaws.

Thunder clapped outside and suddenly rain was pelting the windows. Yuuki opened her eyes for a second and saw the night outside get lit up for a split second as the storm that had been threatening all day arrived. The rain was detailed silver. And it fell to the ground and shattered. Like diamonds. But her diamond was safe on her finger. She was safe in its owner's arms. And it would be safe inside of her for one more week. Smiling, Yuuki shut her eyes again and got lost with Kyoya.

-

_Lying here with you  
Listening to the rain  
Smile just to see the smile upon your face  
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life  
I've found all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more_

Looking in your eyes  
Seeing all I need  
Everything you are is everything in me  
These are the moments  
I know heaven must exist  
And these are the moments  
I know all I need is this  
I've found all I've waited for, yeah  
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together  
I could not ask for more than this time with you  
And every prayer has been answered  
Every dream I've had has come true  
Yeah, right here in this moment  
Is right where I'm meant to be  
Here with you here with me  
Yeah

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life  
I've found all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together  
I could not ask for more than this time with you  
And every prayer has been answered  
Every dream I've had has come true  
Yeah, right here in this moment  
Is right where I'm meant to be  
Oh, here with you here with me  
No, I could not ask for more  
Than this love you gave me  
Cause it's all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more  
No, yeah  
No, I could not ask for more

_(I could not ask for more, Sara Evans)_

_-_

Every time Yuuki packed, she packed for just about every occasion. Kyoya had to stop her from putting a dress into her hospital bag.

"No." She grabbed at it. He was standing, she was sitting. "It's going to take me a whole year to stand up, so please, don't give me reason to do it."  
Her husband took her bag and emptied it on the bed. "Yuuki, you're taking a dress....to the hospital?"  
"Well...it's your hospital..." The girl unfolded her legs and regretted taking a seat on the floor. She loved sitting on the floor. Her baby bump didn't. "So...people who have seen me in gowns and encrusted in jewels."  
Kyoya offered his hand and helped her to her feet. "And a whole bunch of people are going to see you in an ugly blue hairnet and a gown of the hospital sort."  
Yuuki pouted. "No...I'm supposed to be an icon...bend the rules?"  
The man shook his head in an amused manner and turned back to her packing.

"Please?" She held his arm. "Please, please, please, please, please, please?"  
"Yuuki, do you actually care?"  
"No." She kissed the back of his neck and sat on the end of the bed and started re-packing everything he had un-packed. "But if I could, I would."  
"You would wear..." He held up the closet item of clothing and read the label. "...Gucci while you spend a few days in hospital?"  
"I have my track-pants." She waved them at him. "They're about the only thing that actually fits." Yuuki held the item in her lap. "I'm going to fit things again."  
"Yay." Kyoya said sarcastically. "Be realistic, please."  
"Mm." Topic change. Fashion wasn't actually a concern of hers. It generally just happened and people seemed to like it. "Boy or girl?"  
"Want, or expect?"  
"Is it the same thing?"  
"No."  
"Want." She watched him with a bemused expression as she folded her pants and put them back into her packing.

"I want...whatever's in there."

"I personally want a girl. I'm sorry to say so. But I'm a girl, and thus am biased. But we're surrounded by them. Aimi, Jasmine, my niece...whatever her name is. Ever since Mako and Kira separated I haven't seen my niece. He doesn't even talk. You be friends with him and make him happy again. I never even used to see the ladies in his life very often anyway..." Her brother and his wife had decided to take a break. Sometimes, things didn't work out. Often because they didn't start on the right foot. They needed a breather to shift their weight. "But...if it's a boy, I would really, really, really like that."

"You're nervous."  
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Yuuki folded a shirt that had been unloaded onto the covers and went to put it in her bag.

Kyoya took it from her and put it back in the closet. On his side. Where it had started the day. He returned with an old black sweater and handed it to her. "What's wrong?"  
His wife smiled and took the familiar item and held it for a minute. "Someone is going to _cut into me_ and you ask 'what's wrong?' Doesn't it strike you as odd, that some guy I don't know, is going to put a _knife_ on my body and _cut it open_?"

"He's a doctor, so no, it's not odd. I hired him, so no I'm not worried. You won't even get a scar. Or one you would notice." The scar on her shoulder-blade had faded into her skin colour and was only visible to those who were looking for it.  
"How would you feel? How did you feel when you were in the OR?"  
"I can't actually remember. I was unconscious and very, very low on blood. If I had been aware of what was happening, I would have been very happy with the fact that someone was trying to stop me from dying."

Yuuki hugged the sweater to herself. It smelt like him. Only, it wasn't warm and it didn't have a heartbeat. It had been a familiar icon throughout the years though. Starting right back at the honeymoon and then slipping over her head the night Kyoya had returned home from France. "I could die tomorrow." She said it quietly.

"You won't." The man paused and sat down beside her.

"Can you promise that?"  
He couldn't. She could very rightly die. The baby could very rightly die. The situation they were in would have been safe if it had been anyone but her. "No. But I can promise you that the odds will always be in your favour."  
"And the baby's odds?"  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "If it comes to that..."  
"No." Yuuki didn't want to hear it. It was a miracle that she'd actually conceived and an even greater one that she hadn't spontaneously aborted again. Her body was just not the environment to carry a child safely in. "Don't tell me what you were going to." If it came down to her or the baby, she knew exactly who would survive. And it would cause her to go through the pain of miscarriage again. "Just..."  
"I'm not going to lie to you. If it was Haruhi, she would go full term and she would be fine. But because it's you, because of what happened, you can only go this far. And no one can guarantee anything. Chances are you will both be fine. But there is a possibility that one of you won't." He didn't say both of them. He didn't want to articulate the risk.

"What are the chances?"  
"They're good."  
"Very good?"  
"No. But in your favour." She knew this. She just needed to know it from him.

"And complications?"  
Kyoya sighed. "Because of the scar tissue, a lot."  
Yuuki exhaled slowly. "Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"Okay. I don't really have a choice, do I?" She laughed and hugged her belly. "I mean...this isn't going away and I don't want it to." She smiled and grabbed one of his hands and put it on her bump. Baby was moving. "Should I be scared?" Yuuki was still clutching his sweater.  
Kyoya tucked her hair behind her ear. "Don't be. Even if you should be."  
His wife nodded and smiled stanchly. She was scared. But she had courage too. "Bring Marvin."

He smiled. Under his hand his child was shifting. Pressing against her from the inside. It was right where it should be. It should stay in there for another month and a half. But it couldn't. It would kill her. The birth had that power too. Just bringing life could end hers. Where other women could do it and live to tell the tale, there was defiantly a chance that Yuuki wouldn't. Kyoya could live through another mourning. But he wouldn't live if she wasn't there. There was one thing their love could do, and that was take them away together. And it would.

The reality of the situation hit home. The chances were that both of them would be okay. But only just. If something happened, the baby would die and they would have to bring another part of each other alive again through that. But they would if they had to. They would do it a thousand times. But they would pray a million that it didn't come to that.

-

_There are two things I will carry in my pockets at the end  
oh, my darling,  
you are one of them  
the way you look when you have a story to begin,  
oh, my darling,  
that's the other half_

and I will never lose them,  
no I'll never, never show them like a prize  
I will keep them out of sight  
and I will never give them up to any ceiling  
promise or a lie,  
they are mine until I die, until I die

_(Oh my Darling, Basia Bulat)_

_-_

Hospital waiting rooms are the dreariest places on earth. No matter how comfortable, decorated, warm and welcoming they are; there is always a sense of routine. People had done the same thing, over and over again. Waiting. Sitting. Waiting. Thinking. Waiting. Pacing. Waiting.

Kyoya wasn't allowed in the OR. Even as the owner of the entire building and employer of every single person inside. They needed to get the baby out and straight into an environment where it would continue to develop until it reached a safe level. If it was alright. The doctor had told Yuuki that her child wouldn't survive the stress of birth so early on, especially with the stress it had endured while pressing against the unforgiving scar tissue. They were treating it as a closed operation. No family were allowed in the room. At all.

It didn't happen like the movies. There was no healthy wail wafting down the halls. There was no smiling doctor, appearing for your convenience. No nurses to sit and give long talks. It was just a hospital. When you were a patient or a visitor, you became part of a hierarchy. Even if you stood at the peak every other day. Of course, the Ootori could just say his name and be mobbed by well meaning nurses and doctors, but that wasn't his intention. They knew that his wife was in the hospital. That was enough. If they focused on Yuuki, it was enough.

Kyoya wrote in his notebook for about five minutes before thinking about calling Tamaki. The host club didn't know. Like the miscarriage. They didn't know. He and Yuuki had wanted it that way. When all was done, they could find out, but at the time, all they wanted was privacy and the ability to endure the situation for themselves. Without cake. Without the good intention of friends.

Kyoya's phone rang. Tamaki's face flashed on the screen. He flipped it open and said hello.

"_Kyoya? Are you working?"_

"No."  
"_You just sound like your working."_

"Mmhmm. Can I help you?"

"_Yes. Can you please, please, please help us throw Yuuki a baby shower?"  
_"A baby shower?"  
_"Yeah...you know...pre-birth...lots of presents. Pastel colours."_

"Not for a few weeks."  
_"Don't you want to be a dad?"_

"Tamaki, my not wanting to have a baby shower isn't an indication of my fatherly appeal."  
_"You're too uptight. Want to go to the spa?"_

"No."

"_Like old times?"_

"We never went to the spa. We sent Haruhi to the spa. But you and I did not have 'old times' there."  
_"Ah. But we could have."_

Kyoya sighed. "I'm a little preo-ocupied right now."  
_"I'll say."  
_Pause. "Tamaki?"

"_Ya?"  
_The Ootori stared at the floor. "I need to go."  
_"Okay. Bye!"_

Click. Kyoya folded his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Mr Ootori?" A small voice called from beside him. The nurse sounded scared. Almost awed. As if his power could attack her at any moment.

"Yes?" The man looked up and pressed a finger to the bridge of his glasses.

"They're done."  
"And?"  
"And your wife is safe. She's lovely."  
"And the baby?"  
"Your son is undergoing tests. I can't say his condition, it's not my place. But the doctor told me to let you know that you're wife is in the clear. She fell asleep a minute ago."

Yuuki would have been awake for the procedure. And then exhausted after because of the epidural and the anxiety. Kyoya nodded his thanks at the woman. He wasn't about to sigh in relief in front of her. He could do that inside. This was his hospital and she was his employee. If she wanted to see his human side, she just had to look at his tensed position and she might understand.

"Okay, sir." She bowed slightly. Wondered if she should do that. Went to say something. Lifted a finger to correct a mental mistake. Blanked her expression and then turned awkwardly to leave. Then as if compelled by duty, she turned around again. "Um...forgive me for this sir, but I was with your wife when she fell asleep and she said to give you this." The young woman gingerly hugged her boss from the side. She was leaning over the side of the chair he was in and smelled oddly of musk and the strange off mint of hospitals. Kyoya felt her pet his shoulder twice, trying to do the act with a little feeling, but it just came across as gauche. The nurse stood abruptly and cleared her throat. "Yes. Bye." Pause. "Sir."

Kyoya watched her leave. Very quickly. Very awkwardly. He smiled. It appeared that Yuuki was fine. Perfectly fine. A little drugged. But she was still entirely herself. He then pitied the poor nurse and decided to send her a bouquet of flowers as thanks for transmitting a tiny piece of his wife's peculiar nature.

That just left the baby. His son.

He had a son.

His son.

His own child.

It was an odd reality to get your head around.

Kyoya had become a father. Yuuki was a mother. They were parents. Yet, like the husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend thing; the stereotype didn't fit. It was just a word. It didn't explain anything. All it did was put them in a box. They were just who they were. And that was all. It was not something that could be explained by science or words. It was just something that was different, unique. A new stage of a life. It was not a box set aside for life that closed the lid on those before. It was just a new thing. A precious thing.

The baby had a name. They hadn't talked about it, but he had a name. They'd discussed it a long time ago, when Yuuki had been pregnant first time round. Kain. Kyoya just hoped he was as much of a fighter as his parents had learnt to be.

The man was let into his wife's suit half an hour later. She was stable. Asleep. There was a soft throb as a heart monitor created bleary background noise. Yuuki looked like she always had when she slept. Like she was holding a secret. One he knew, but never could entirely grasp. That's what being human should be like. To be a bit of a mystery, even to yourself. Her breathing was even, her skin was slightly translucent; the veins could be seen just below the surface. She was fragile.

Kyoya stood over her. She was okay. It could have been so, so much worse. But he trusted the doctor. With his life. The man had brought him back and he'd been found again. Somewhere in the mass of medical badges that wandered the Ootori employment list. He was no obstetrician, but he was able to be there. To assist. And he had been honoured by the request.

Kyoya drew a short line in the ridge between Yuuki's knuckles. Her hand was cold. She always had such cool hands. Her circulation wasn't great for winter. But it was her. Just the two of them would have been fine for eternity. It would just be them. Their son would find someone just like they had found each other. Or, it was every parent's ardent hope that their child would find the sort of relationship that had no divorce rate, no statistics, no demands. One that just was as it should have always been. He was lucky he'd been born into that. Born from that. He would always be part of that.

The man kissed his wife, just above her hairline. Like a secret. One she wouldn't be able to entirely grasp but could know. If anyone had been watching, they would have learnt that all men are just that. Human. They could be made of ice and numbers, but something had to give it cause to function.

-

_When the world has fallen out from under me  
I'll be found in you, still standing  
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees  
When time and space are through _

_I'll be found in you _

_(Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser)_

_-_

Yuuki felt a tight pain in her stomach. It hurt like pain with a mask. A dull throb that said there was something more but she wouldn't get to know what it was. The girl opened her eyes. Got assaulted by the light. Closed them again and then tried again with a little more care. Hospital light tend to be in awkward places. The sort only doctors can appreciate and that patients tend to loathe. The room was empty. There was a constant beep. It would get annoying. She didn't need the monitor. She was fine. Sore, but fine. Being propped up slightly helped. She didn't feel so useless like that. Gurneys have a way of making people feel useless.

Yuuki blinked again to try banish the fog from her head. It didn't heed her threat. The door opened and a nurse, a familiar looking nurse, walked into the room. She'd been the one who'd been there when she fell asleep.

"Good morning Mrs Ootori." She said with a smile. "How do you feel?"  
"I'm allowed something for a headache, right?"  
"Yes. I'll get that for you in a second."  
Yuuki decided not to sit up. She figured that wouldn't be comfortable. "Is Kyoya here?"  
"He is. Never left. Though, that hug you told me to give him was good reason to."

The girl smiled. "You did that?"  
"You asked me too. I see a lot of couples, none ask to send hugs. Flowers mostly." The nurse shrugged.

"How old are you?"  
"Just younger than you ma'am."  
"Am I very young?"  
"Well, depends how you see it." She wrote a few things onto a clipboard from the monitor by the bed. "A lot of people would say you got married very young. If it works for you, it works."  
Yuuki smiled gently. "Um .How's..."She didn't know if she had a son or daughter or even if she had any.  
"I'm not in a place to say. That's for the doctors."

"But do you know?"  
"Sorry Mrs Ootori, I'm not privy to that sort of information. It's pretty tight here at the moment because of you. Your husband is the big man upstairs after all, and the media would kill for this."

"Well...yes...but you're my nurse. You know anything?"  
"Technically, I'm only your nurse in the morning. You slept right through the night. You know the other nurse here. Dora. Said you were here the night Mr Ootori had his crash."  
"That Dora?"  
"Yes. Mr Ootori asked specifically for her."  
"Really?"  
"Good man you got."  
Yuuki played with her blanket. "Apparently."

The woman went to the door. "I'll be right back with something for your headache."  
"Thank you."

The nurse nodded once and left. The room descended into what should have been silence. Yuuki hated not knowing. A minute later, the woman was back with water and two small, white tablets. The Ootori thanked her again and was soon left alone once more. The girl put a hand on her abdomen. It was empty. Her little some-body, as the baby had come to be known, was somewhere else. It happily left behind the shell it lived in. Still partly intact, only not rock hard anymore. Her body would deal with that. Yuuki breathed. She had given birth. Sort of. She couldn't remember anything that had happened in the OR. She just remembered it being awkward. Cold. She hadn't known where to look or what to do and found the screen in front of her face immensely annoying. She just hoped it was fine. All of it.

After a few minutes, the door opened again. Yuuki smiled at Kyoya and held her arms out. She needed him. Her husband steadily crossed the room to her and cradled her head gently as she hugged him. He kissed the top of her head and was relieved.

"Am I okay?" Was the first thing Yuuki said to him. "I'm fine, right? Like...I'm supposed to be groggy and hazy and sore?"  
Kyoya smiled and sat beside her. "You're fine."

"And the baby?" Her tone went up slightly.  
"Our son is asleep."  
"Son?" Pause. "We have a son? Like...a living, breathing one?"  
"I'm not too sure about the breathing bit; his lungs aren't great, but yes, he's alive. He needs to spend a few weeks in here, but he'll be fine." He'd picked the right doctors for the task. Everything had happened to the best of what it should have.

Yuuki didn't know how to respond. She was exceptionally happy. And relieved. And a little worried. "Does he have a name?" She wanted to see him.

"Kain."  
"Not Cain from the Bible. Kain the fighter?" She breathed. "I don't want him beating someone to death with a rock."  
Kyoya realised she was a little more stressed than she was letting on. "Like you said a while ago. Kain for a boy Sayuri for a girl." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Are you alright?"  
Yuuki smiled and put a hand over his. "I'm great." Pause. "Can I see him?"  
"Not yet. You need to rest a bit first."  
"Do you know what that's like? What does he look like?"  
"Small." Kyoya had been surprised. And the marvelled that such a tiny person, something that lived a breathed, could live inside of his wife. That it was exactly half of him and exactly half of her.

"Does he have your eyes?"  
"I didn't see. They haven't opened. I just stood at the glass."  
"What? Why?"

"Because, you should be the first person to see him close up."  
"I don't mind. You can go see him. Go be with him."  
Kyoya tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "It's frustrating there. I can't do anything."  
Yuuki understood and laughed. "Do you have WWS?"  
"WWS?"  
"Workers Withdrawal Syndrome?"  
"That's not even funny." The man shook his head.

"It was and you know it." The girl's expression was light. They'd got through it. "It's all okay?"  
"All of it." He nodded in assurance. "I made sure."  
"Good man."

"Are you tired?"  
"Not anymore." She'd slept from the middle of the day the day before until that morning. "I missed you."  
"You were asleep."  
"I missed you anyway."  
"I know." Him too.

"Have you slept, at all?"  
"Yes."  
"In a chair?"  
"With Marvin curled into my side." Falling asleep with a laptop is not exceptionally comfortable.  
Pause. "Slightly suspect...but hey. At least he stopped you from getting WWS." She squeezed his hand good naturedly. "Who knows?"  
"Tachi and Mako."  
"Just them?"  
"Your brother had a right to know. And Tachi...Well, he is the godfather."

"Is he here?"  
"No, he got the task of telling the Host Club." Poor man.  
"Thank you for that." Yuuki said sincerely. "It's a good idea." Pause. "I wonder about the baby's grandfather though." Her tone dropped slightly.  
"He's in a retirement home in Osaka."  
"Really?"  
"I didn't lose him for you. If you wanted to know about your father, you just had to ask."  
"Does he know?"  
"I can find out."  
"No. Don't." Yuuki didn't want him to leave. "Stay with me. My tummy hurts."

"Tummy huh?"  
"You'll use baby talk soon too. I can say 'I told you so' when you call Zero 'horsey'."  
"I will never say that." He said flatly. They way she would be better was by being normal. Something to slip back into easily.

"You will." His wife said whimsically. "It's inevitable."

Kyoya smiled, humoured by theory. He'd never laughed so much in his entire life as he had in the decade he'd known Yuuki. "Are you hungry?"  
"Am I allowed to be?"  
"Yes." He nodded. He'd spoken to the doctor.

"Uhuh." She nodded. Her husband stood to leave, but she held his hand. "You didn't say hello."

The man paused before leaning over her and kissing her tenderly. She was his, and she wasn't going to break because of the fact. Their son was going to grow up in a relationship where things happened because of lessons, not because of society. Because of a personal journey. Because they loved him just as much as they loved each other. It was not that a space had been made in the existing hearts, something shoved aside. But rather, another space had been made. It had grown to incorporate a new life. There was more than there was before. And it worked. It was perfect.  
-

_Seasons are changing  
And waves are crashing  
And stars are falling all for us  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
I can show you I'll be the one_

I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up for you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away  
'Cause I'm here for you  
Please don't walk away and  
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray  
(Your Guardian Angel, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

_-_

A few hours later, Yuuki got to see her son. She had to be in a wheelchair for the event and was highly embarrassed for it. She felt like an invalid.

"Kyoya, I can walk. I want to walk."  
"Pretend it's a luggage trolley."  
"No."  
"Pretend."  
"No."  
Her husband didn't feel like arguing. "Fine, have a pity party."  
"You're invited." She crossed her arms and hoped no one recognised her. She was nervous. She was about to see what had been inside for so long. What she had been so afraid and exited for.

"I think I'll pass."  
"Okay. I'll come with you."  
"Where are we going?"  
"I said I was coming with you. So you decide."  
Kyoya paused and stood beside the wheelchair. The nurse pushing was pretending not to listen. "Let's go see our son."  
Yuuki smiled. "We're doing that. How far away is it anyway?"  
"Tired?"  
"Uhuh." The nurse stopped pushing in front of a window and silently slipped away. Yuuki stared through the glass and saw five babies. She went to say something and then hesitated. "Um..is it bad that I have no idea..."  
"He's not in there." Kyoya noticed the nurse return with a doctor. The same one that had checked on Yuuki a little while earlier.  
"Hello Mr and Mrs Ootori. We just have to lay some ground rules. Your son was at a stage where his immune system was just beginning to develop, so you can only see him in a controlled environment and only for a short period of time. He's still developing, so don't expect normal behaviour yet."  
Yuuki swallowed and felt a sense of guilt rising. It was because of her that he had to come out so early. He should still be inside. Safe.

The doctor smiled and opened a door. "But we expect him to be perfectly healthy."  
"Really?" The girl looked up at him.

"Yes ma'am. Don't worry. You did well considering the circumstances." Pause. "You shouldn't have, but you did. Seven months is very premature, so your child needs special care. But it was either that or the very high change that you both die. Don't worry about how things have happened."  
Yuuki nodded played with the edge of her blanket. If she was going to go out in an ugly hospital gown, there would at least be a blanket over the top. Kyoya wheeled her through the door and into a room that smelt like absolutely nothing and hummed. In the middle was an incubator with a tiny form inside. The baby was a ruddy colour with eyes squeezed shut and a small, sticky patch of dark hair. He was so small. So delicate. And entirely theirs.

The man stopped his wife just beside it. She was staring at the baby cautiously. "Is...that..."  
"Yes."  
"It was in there?" She put a hand on her stomach and felt the padding that covered her stitches.

"Yes."  
"And it's...ours?"  
"He is ours."  
"Our son?" Yuuki seemed a little awed.

"Our son." Kyoya put a hand on her shoulder.

His wife reached forward to touch the baby but hesitated. "He's so small."

"He's very lucky."  
"Why?"  
The man pulled up a chair and sat beside her, looking at their baby. "Because he has you for a mother."  
Yuuki smiled softly and grabbed his hand. "It doesn't seem real. It feels like it shouldn't be."

"It is very real. He's right there."

"Do you think his sister would have liked him?"  
"She would have loved him."  
The girl blinked and extended her free hand into the incubator. She let her fingertip touch against Kain's palm. His hand were so small. Absolutely tiny. He was still in the danger zone. Much to her surprise, the little hand closed around her and her son shifted a little. Yuuki remembered what that had felt like when he was inside of her. Inside of her. He had been in her body. Attached to it. The small fingers let go of his mother and she quickly pulled her hand against her collarbone and stared curiously.

"He..."  
"I know." Kyoya was awed too. Kain was exactly them. He started out small and fragile and in a place he shouldn't be in. But it had turned out much better than okay for them. He would be the same.

"You're a dad." Yuuki said softly and returned her finger to Kain's hand. "Hey baby. Remember me?"  
"Are you scared?" The man asked steadily.

"Absolutely petrified." She kept her eyes on her child. Her son. "But in a good way. He's going to be okay."  
"Your mother would be proud."  
Yuuki smiled at her husband. "So would your father. You just produced an heir. A not-so-bouncing baby boy. But he'll get there."  
Kyoya stared. It hit him. He was a dad. And he loved his son. And his wife. Equally, but in different ways. And no less than before. It didn't seem possible, but with Yuuki, a lot of things didn't that were. Angels give miracles. It's what they do best. "Come here." The man tugged the arm of her wheelchair and turned it slightly to him.

His wife got the idea and gently pulled her hand out of the incubator again so that she could sit on his lap. It took a small struggle, the stitches pulled and her legs weren't for it after the epidural, but they got there. She was in his arms again. "Have you said hello yet?" Yuuki rested her forehead against the side of his jaw.

Kyoya wrapped his fingers into hers and carried them to the side of their sons face so that they could be properly introduced. "That's our son."  
"Our son." Yuuki smiled sweetly. "Kyoya, meet Kain." She turned her head slightly to her husband. "He kicks. I would know."  
Her husband laughed and kissed the top of her cheekbone. Just below the corner of her eye. "We did good."  
"We'll do better at teaching him grammar." She smiled quietly and pressed her lips to his temple while the man watched their baby breathe. He had found his air. Just like they had found theirs. "I'll teach him to ride and you can teach him math, because if I do that he will fail. And you can teach him to be a perfect gentleman and I can teach him to waltz. And he's going to laugh like you. I know."  
"Like me?"  
"Yes. Like you. Because you don't do it often enough when you're not in private. It's a nice laugh. It's special."

"If he avoids your sense of humour, then we'll be fine."  
Yuuki let her son grab her finger. His hold was so light. Like being hugged by a feather. "As long as he's happy like me right now."  
Kyoya held her carefully, knowing what post-surgery felt like. "I think he's happy now too."  
"Are you happy now too?"  
"I am."

"No time worries?"  
"We worked it out before. We'll do it again. Friday evening and Saturday morning became ours."  
"I thought it was just Saturday." Yuuki said smugly.

Her husband laughed softly. "You have to start somewhere."  
"Even if it's in an incubator in a room that smells like...peas."  
"Boiled peas?"  
"Yes..." She nodded good-naturedly. "Boiled peas."

"I love you."

Yuuki smiled. "I love you too." Pause. "I love you too baby. Don't worry. So does he. You learn to know when he's saying it." It was defiantly that sort of relationship where they could love each other through it all and still laugh at the end of the day. A lot of couples loved and then wore thin by evening. For them, the ground was even the whole way through. They'd made sure of that.

The door clicked open and the doctor came to call them out. He paused. He'd seen a lot of couples, but they were the first to break the rules. "Oi. Back in the chair."

Yuuki glanced at him; Kyoya had his eyes stuck on Kain. "But I like it here."  
"My stitches wont." The man smiled warmly. "Go be all romantic somewhere else."

The girl looked back at her son. She didn't want to leave him. She swallowed.

Kyoya wrapped his fingers with hers again inside the incubator and helped her, and himself, come away. If they stayed, the baby was at risk. His wife sighed. He put her hand back against her collarbone and helped her back into her chair. "We'll come back tomorrow."  
"I can only see him for ten minutes a day?" She seemed a little horrified.

"Just for now. Then you'll have to live with him for eighteen years." The doctor said haughtily. "He's a lucky boy."

"He'll be okay?" Yuuki didn't want to say goodbye.

"He'll be fine." The doctor waited for them. Knowing it was hard for most people. "You got that one though. He pays my bills. He's pretty cool too."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up, his expression didn't return to business. "You'll be out of here in two days."  
"But..." Yuuki stared at her son. "He's here."  
"And my building is next door. You can sit on the couch and read all day."  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
That was alright. If she couldn't be in the room, she could be watching over it. "Okay."

There was a long silence as they both watched their son lay in on his back and wonder about the world. Kyoya started to turn her back to the door.

"Bye baby." Yuuki said softly with a small smile.

-

_I love you for what you do. Not because of what you do. We a creation so perfect that God himself had to pause and marvel at the heartbeat he had formed. Through us, we made life. And through life, we were made. We are not defined by what we do, but by who we become. _

_-_

Yuuki was the sort of person who got cravings _after_ she was pregnant. In the week that followed her leaving the hospital, she re-discovered a new favourite thing. It involved a jar and a packet and memories from her fifth birthday party

"Yuuki, what are you doing?" Kyoya turned in his chair to stare at her.

His wife was sitting at the window, looking down at the hospital. She wanted to see her baby. "I'm just eating."  
"Yes, what?"  
Yuuki held up a jar of Nutella. "Nutella and pretzels. Want one?"  
"No." Pause. "That's disgusting."  
"Have you tried it?"  
"No."  
"Then you can't say it's disgusting. Now hospital food, that's disgusting." Pause. "No offense."  
"Is this a cravings thing, or a reliving childhood thing?"  
"Both." She shrugged. "But I've been good."  
"How?"  
"It's not like I'm off the rails with food. I'm eating like I did before I got puffy. Actually, like when I was puffy. I didn't get cravings. I didn't binge."  
"You never ate that."  
"Not that you saw." Her expression was mutinous. She changed the topic onto him. "You tried to feed me whatever you had for lunch. Not good."  
Kyoya smirked. "Each to their own."  
"Can I see him?" Very swift change of subject. "I want to see him."  
"I would say yes, but it's not up to me. I want to see him too."  
"You own the hospital. Can't we just..."  
"No. Because Kain could catch jaundice or something else. We do what the doctor says and then you get him when he's healthy."  
"Yes...I know...but he's there and we're here and I was there and I didn't like it there."  
The man pushed his glasses up. "You feeling better?"  
"Yeah. I'm fine. Stiff, but fine."

"I thought you were afraid of heights?"  
"I am. But if I'm sitting down, it's okay, and this glass is like...thick as." She knocked it and cursed the fact that he'd pointed out something she'd not noticed until then. "Looking down is scary though."  
"Don't look down."  
"But Kain is down. Down there." Yuuki pointed at the hospital. The helipad grinned up at her. "We have a baby down there. Like...our own baby. I keep thinking I'll wake up or that he'll disappear."  
Kyoya watched her. His wife had backed away from the edge of the window, trying to be inconspicuous about it, but failing. There was almost a full bag of pretzels against the glass. She had barely touched it. Or anything. "Do you want to go down and sit at the window of his room?"  
"No, that's worse. Seeing him and not being able to do anything." She didn't want to sit and watch. She hadn't even held her son yet. Not once. "I just want him to be okay."  
"He'll be fine." Kyoya stood behind her and looked down at the hospital.

Yuuki sighed and leant against his legs. "Okay."  
"Do you trust me?"  
"Of course." She looked up at him. "Why?"  
"Then believe me. He'll be fine."

"I know." The girl stood up very slowly. It was easier to get to her feet now without a child, but the skin on her abdomen pulled uncomfortably and she felt sick from the sudden drop in hormones. "But...I don't know. I know your right, but maybe he doesn't, you know?"

"He should be focusing on development. Not my predictions."  
"Can I tell him that when he fails an exam?"  
Kyoya smiled. "No. He won't fail any exams."  
"He'll ride FEI too." Yuuki shot back. "If he's half me, half you, then he's going to ride."  
"If he wants to."  
"What if he wants to be stupid?"  
Her husband raised an eyebrow.

"No...no. Yeah, that's pretty impossible. Especially if he got your brain."  
"He got half of my brain."  
"Let's hope it's the half that isn't ego." She leant back against him. "I wonder whose eyes he got."

"Hopefully your vision."  
"Are glasses really that bad?"  
"No, but then again, _no one_ called me four eyes."

Yuuki laughed. "No. I can see that outcome."  
Kyoya turned her to face him. "Its fine, he'll be fine."  
"Why do I get the feeling that you're saying that for yourself too?"  
The man kissed her softly. His wife pulled him closer to her and backed against the glass. "See, I trust you."  
"Have you looked down?"

"No..." Yuuki glanced down and then shut her eyes. The window was cool against her shoulders. "That's rally unnerving." She brought her gaze onto his. "But I can do it, with you."  
"I sense an underlying message."  
"Your Spidey-senses are tingling." The girl laughed gently. "You don't have to be Superman all the time. You can be human. I've seen you working for a whole week now; you would rival most super computers. And I'm very proud. But you are allowed to be something else. You can say you're worried too."

"I'm worried too."  
"Could you say that to anyone else?"  
Pause. "No. Probably not."  
Yuuki tried to back away from the glass, but he was to close. "Okay. Lesson learned?" The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up.

"Have you learnt anything?"  
"Yes." She said quickly. "Like I said, I trust you but this is really scary."  
"But you can do it, with me."  
"Ah. Good boy. Please back away. I would push you but that would hurt a little at present."  
Kyoya kissed her again. "Is your fear of heights cured?"  
"Are you not worrying?"  
Pause. "Let's try that again." They did. "Now?"  
"Hmm..." Yuuki pondered. "No. No. One more time."  
"Just one?" Her husband said smugly.

"Hey. I just had a baby. Head spinning, not good." Pause. "Worth it, but not good."

Kyoya's phone rang. He pushed his glasses up and stood straight again. "Duty calls."  
Yuuki thought about sitting on the floor again. Decided against it. Tried to pick her food up. Decided against bending over. Settled for Kyoya's cup of coffee and took up residence on the couch by the far wall. She sat and watched him work. The man didn't have just one merit system. He had a few. Business was primary. That brought monetary value into his life. Beside that was reputation, honour, standing and justification. But on the same level was the sort of aspect that didn't have a physical value. And everyone needed that. One couldn't live off either comfortably, but finding them both was hard. However, one could value one more than the other. Kyoya glanced up as he typed with one hand and held a conversation with the other. He smiled briefly. He was still there. The man she knew was still there. And he wanted her to know.

_-_

_The morning cold and raining  
Dark before the dawn could come  
How long in twilight waiting  
Longing for the rising sun  
Oh, Oh  
You came like crashing thunder  
Breaking through these walls of stone  
You came with wide eyed wonder  
Into all this great unknown  
Hush now don't you be afraid  
I promise you I'll always stay  
I'll never be that far away  
I'm right here with you_

You're so amazing  
You shine like the stars  
You're so amazing  
The beauty you are  
You came blazing  
Right into my heart  
You're so amazing  
You are, You are

You came from Heaven shining  
Breath of God still fresh on you  
The beating heart inside me  
Crumbled at this one so new  
Oh, Oh  
No matter where, how far you wander  
For a thousand years or longer  
I will always be there for you  
Right here with you  
I hope your tears are few and fast  
I hope your dreams come true at last  
I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on  
I hope you wish on every star  
I hope you never fall too far  
I hope this world can see how wonderful you are

_(Amazing, Janelle) _

_-_

Yuuki sat in Kyoya's chair while he was in a meeting and decided to make a few dreaded phone calls.

"Suki?" She clutched the phone tightly.

"_Hey babe! What's happening?"  
_"Babe?"  
_"Sorry. Hey! Yuuki! What's happening?" _Retake.

"Better."  
_"You're getting like your husband."  
_"Uhuh."

"_How's the baby?"  
_"He's fine. Considering."  
_"Considering?"_ Pause. _"I thought you didn't want to know the sex until it was born?"_

Yuuki didn't say anything.

Silence. _"Oh my gosh. When?"  
_"Last week. March nineteenth. Seven and a half months by Caesarean. I wasn't allowed to risk carrying beyond that."

"_You have a son?"  
_"I have a son." Yuuki smiled at that. She had a son.

"_What's his name?"_

"Kain."  
_"Is he okay?"_

"Like I said, considering. He's good for the circumstances. I'm not allowed to hold him. I've been sitting in Kyoya's office next door and visiting every couple hours. It's hard."  
_"Gee, I can imagine."_

"Yeah."  
_"You alright?"  
_"Yes. I know he'll be fine. But...its hard waiting for it to happen." Pause. "Its...amazing. There's a little person with half of me inside."  
_"Welcome to motherhood. You get used to it."  
_"I don't want to get used to it. I like this idea."  
_"Will you have another?"  
_"Bit early to be thinking about that." Yuuki sighed. "But I can't. Physically. I cannot have another. It was this time or no time and I wouldn't have it any other way."  
_"Aw..."  
_"Aww...shut your face. I have to tell Haruhi."  
_"Ah. Good luck."  
_"Ah. I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."  
_"No. It's okay. The situation was different. You needed the space."_

"Thank you."

"_Congratulations!" C_ame the squeal down the phone.

Yuuki hung up and ran a hand through her hair. It was surreal. She put her fingers on her stomach. It was no longer firm and flat or firm and round. It was somewhere in the middle. And she didn't like it. She didn't like knowing that the baby she'd carried needed to still be in there. That it needed her protection and life and she couldn't give it. But she was content. She'd had her baby. Their baby. They had a baby. The girl breathed. They had a perfect son. With ten fingers and ten toes, two eyes, a nose, two ears, and a smile. He could smile. Kain could smile. Mostly he just lay there, learning to breathe properly. Listening to his parents talk to each other. Talk to him. But when they laughed, he smiled. He laughed with them. And that was worth more than anything that anyone could give them. Especially since they shouldn't have a child, let alone one who could smile for them. With them.

Yuuki ran her fingers along the padding on her lower abdomen. They'd had to pull Kain from her. They'd had to cut her open. But sometimes, the things that seem abnormal assure normality. Kyoya couldn't be one of those parents whose wife had died in childbirth and left behind a baby. He couldn't be that. He wouldn't have lived if she had died and it wouldn't have been fair. If the baby had died, it wouldn't have been fair either, it would have hurt for a long, long time. But now that he'd seen his son and touched him, now that he was more than the movement inside his wife, he couldn't live if he'd died either. It was different for men and women, but it came down to the same.

Kyoya took Yuuki home after another look at their son. It almost felt as if he would disappear. He was so fragile. But he would grow. He would get strong. Just like they had. The house seemed expectant. It waited. It wanted. Just like the couple it housed.

Late at night, when they lay together again, just them, the pair felt as if nothing was missing. At all. It just felt like some part of them was visiting away for a few weeks. But he was there. Their baby was theirs. And he was alive. They'd been perfect puzzle pieces for each other for so long, fitting together and dwelling inside and around the other. But there were other pieces that fit into the curve that they formed. Just one more piece. It didn't inhibit them, it didn't make them smaller. It just extended something that was already beautiful and existed and made it better. Made it different and unique. But it was still them. Just them. Only, there was another. A perfect other. The baby didn't complete the picture. It had already been finished. But he added something special, something that made the image enchanting. Mysterious. Kain was going to be a physical point of something that existed but was never seen; yet, as much as he was that, he was so much more.

He was their son. And he was loved with a love that already stretched into eternity. It just stretched out a bit and enveloped him into that. Because he was them. Unique, individual, free, whole. And he always would be.

-

_I see trees of green, red roses too  
I see them bloom for me and you  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world._

I see skies of blue and clouds of white  
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colours of the rainbow so pretty in the sky  
Are also on the faces of people going by  
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do  
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow  
They'll learn much more than I'll never know  
And I think to myself what a wonderful world  
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

_(What a wonderful world, Louis Armstrong)_

-

--------

_If you've never had Nutella and pretzels, then you're not actually missing much. It's craving food. lol. Good though. ^-^_

_Please do tell me what you thought. I'd love to hear what your opinion on this chapter. It was rather difficult to write. _

_Thanks for reading!_

_Blessings, _

_-pp_


	40. Chapter 38

-

**Chapter 38**

**-**

A fussing noise filled the bedroom where Kyoya and Yuuki slept. The girl woke up hesitantly and dragged herself from sleep. Her husband tightened his grip around her waist and growled. The bane of being a parent, for him, was waking up in the middle of the night. Yuuki blinked a few times and ran her fingers up his arm so he would let go. He didn't. A small noise carried over the speakers on the bedside table. It had taken a long, long time, but the girl could now tell a cry for attention from a cry for food. The former, she let go on a bit longer so he would learn that he couldn't just get their time when he felt like it unless he needed them. This cry was a scared cry. Kain had had a nightmare.

"Kyoya, I have to get it." Yuuki kissed his forehead, hoping that would wake him up enough to let go.

There was a mumbled reply.

"Do you want to get it?"  
He loosed his grip. "He's your son." His tone was dead. Flat. Asleep. Kyoya wasn't a father in the middle of the night.

His wife sighed and slipped out of bed. It was difficult; she found herself wanting to stay in the arms of the man she loved as well as coveting the love of using her own to cradle the son that they had created. Yuuki padded to the door and turned. She smiled at Kyoya. He was a quarter awake, his arm spread over the place she had, until recently, occupied. The girl turned back and silently made her way down the stairs and to the nursery. Kain was lying in his crib, wriggling, fussing. Their son rarely cried, he was like his father in that respect.

"Hey little boy." Yuuki dipped her arms down to him and lifted him gently out. "Bad dream, baby?" She was tired, but happy.

The baby willingly buried his head into his mother's collarbone and made small noises. The sort only infants can make. Some people said babies don't dream. But they do. They got scared. And they dreamed. Just like their parents. It had taken a month and a half in hospital before Kain could come home. It had been two months since then and he had grown. He had lovely dark hair. Somewhere between black and dark chocolate. Rich and soft. A mix of his mother and father.

"Hey baby. Go back to sleep. It's just a dream baby. Go back to sleep." Yuuki hummed lowly at him. There was no tune, but he liked her voice. "Shh, Kain. Don't fuss. Nightmares are just dreams of the night. Your daddy loves you, your mommy loves you, your parents adore you and you are much cherished. Go back to sleep little one." The girl sat in the rocking chair and started the slumbering motion. "Do you want to hear a story?"

Silence. He was still awake, listening to her. His body still fussed.

"Okay. I'll tell you a story." Her tone was soft. Soothing. "I'll tell you about the day your dad danced with me at the ball. I had a broken leg, so I didn't want to dance. But he picked me up and put me on his feet and danced with me. He'll do that for you too. He'll pick you up when you don't want to be picked up and he'll teach you to dance when the world say's you shouldn't. He's good like that. He danced with me and made me blush. It was snowing outside. I hope you like the snow. Your parents like the snow. It means a lot to them. It holds so many memories." Yuuki yawned. "Nice memories. Like slipping down a hill in New Zealand and falling into a patch of powder. Kissing in the snow is like kissing in the rain, only quieter. It's like the flakes hold little secrets for you whereas the rain drums out your story. You'll like your parents story. I like our story. Because its ours. And because you're part of it. You're part of it when the world said you shouldn't be." The girl smiled and ran her fingers over the top of his head. His hair felt like a feather. "Are you asleep again baby? Are you dreaming of the snow? And of waltzing? Men in tuxedos and women in chiffon? Dream sweetly baby. Mommy's going to do dream sweetly too. I can't wait to see you again baby. I can't wait till you wake up and I can say hello. I'll see you then baby, I'll see you then." Yuuki balanced Kain's head as she put him back into his crib. He was fast asleep. Deep sleep. Just like his fathers. Secret sleep. Just like his mothers. She leant over the side of the rail and kissed his head tenderly before pausing just above, letting his skin absorb her breath.

The girl paused at the door. The stars on the roof glowed softly. Her baby was happy. And she loved him. So much.

Kyoya was still ever so slightly awake when she got back into bed. "I liked dancing with you too." He mumbled.

Yuuki realised she'd left the speakers on and smiled softly. "I like you."  
There was a low, sleepy reply and the returning of an arm. He cradled her against his chest and soaked in her breath. Just like his son. It was like a blessing. It was her life. And it was his. And it was part of Kain's. It was Yuuki. And it felt right.

-

The next day, Yuuki came into the study holding her son against her chest. She walked right over to Kyoya and handed the baby over before stepping back quickly.

"You know how, when you're sleeping, he's my son?"  
The man looked at her for a second and supported Kain's neck. "...yes?" Somehow, he knew he'd already shot himself in the foot.

"Well...then...when he does a number two, he's your son." Yuuki smiled innocently, kissed the side of his head and stepped lightly and swiftly out of the room. She was in the lounge when her husband re-emerged from the nursery and she asked him if he felt okay.

"Yes." He sat down beside her. "But that was low."  
"Aw..." She mocked. "Is he asleep?"  
"He's listening to Debussy."  
"Good choice." Clair de Lune helped Kain relax. It also helped stimulate his brain. Most nights, his parents sat on the nursery couch and listened to it with him as he fell asleep.

Kyoya laughed. "I'm not changing diapers because you tucked him in."  
Yuuki smiled. "When you're at work, I change diapers. I know what it's like. Actually, I don't really know, but Haruhi told me in theory how it works and we've been trying with that...sort of..." Awkward pause. "But you need to too. It's part of being a parent. No nannies. We might be loaded up to our eyeballs, but that doesn't mean we're missing out on something we shouldn't."

Her husband smiled and noticed she was holding a box. "What are you looking at?"  
"Your baby photos. Fuyumi brought them over." She grinned wickedly. "You were adorable." The girl held up a photo of a dark haired toddler, waving a piece of paper. He was wearing a train driver's cap.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "I was embarrassing."

"Don't be embarrassed. It's cute. Like this one." It was a picture of him on his first day of school. His shirt was neatly pressed and he looked very serious. Very proper. He even had a little blazer on. "It's like this one." Yuuki held up another photo. It was of her husband at around seven years of age, building a big, square sandcastle with a seaweed hospital cross on the front. His little empire. Already in the drafting stage. "At least you weren't one of those nudist babies."

"Nudist babies?"  
"You know, the sort of baby that has parents that; A) cannot be bothered to dress their child, B) can't afford to dress their child, or, C) have the sort of baby that just loves to be...free." Pause. "They exist."  
Kyoya smiled. "Not in this house."  
"No. Not in this house. Hikaru and Kaoru sent over so many clothes for Kain, he'll be wearing jumpsuits for the rest of his life. Tamaki sent a dress. Which...is disturbing. But I like the gumboots." They stood on a shelf above Kain's towels. Like a decorative piece. A small, bright green pair, a medium, bright red pair and a large, bright blue pair. Family boots.

"It's nice."  
"What?"  
"Having him. It worked out well."

Yuuki touched the top of his hand. "It did. It's perfect."

"Your worries all quelled by the reality of _our_ situation as opposed to the one everyone said we'd have?"  
"Yes." His wife wrapped her fingers into his and draped her legs over the top of his knees. "It's perfect." Pause. "And...I managed to lose my baby weight. Sort of. It was more...stretched tummy coming unstretched. Lucky for me." Because of her diet and a gentle toning routine, she'd got her old stomach back. Sort of. It was nearly there. It wasn't something that would happen immediately. But her old clothes fit. Which was fantastic for a young woman. Of course, they fit better in some places, but she was healthy and fit and she was fine with that. "Suki won half of the bet. I won the half I wanted to." Yuuki laughed.

Kyoya shook his head in a lightly amused manner. "You were never anything but beautiful."

Yuuki smiled softly. "It's hard to believe it yourself some days."  
"Then believe what I say."  
"I do. I just have to convince myself its right." Her smile turned smug.

Her husband laughed. "I love you."

The girl traced the line of his jaw, from his temple to his chin. She kissed him sweetly and he kissed her back warmly, deeply, mysterious. Kyoya slid his hand behind her neck, into the place it had first sat the night on the balcony in the snow. It said that they were more than that moment. They were every moment before it and ever one after. They were now laced with something more than them. Another citizen had entered their world. And they were there to stay.

-

Tamaki likes babies. Fact.

Kyoya does not like Tamaki. Debatable fact.

Yuuki understands why. Fiction.

The host club finally had a 'Shadow Mascot'. Kenji was the baby prince type, apparently, and Kain became the shadow king. Even though he had no idea what any of that meant. Stereotypes don't exist for children.

Haruhi and Suki came over at least once a week, usually when Tamaki and Kyoya played basketball, and they talked babies. Or, Suki and Haruhi talked babies. Yuuki just listened and tried to understand. It was hard for her. Fortunately, her son had a soft-spot for his mother and was exceptionally well behaved.

"AH! The baby!" Tamaki threw his arms out as he burst through the door, followed by a pack of hosts. "How is my nephew?"  
Yuuki held Kain away from Tamaki. "Nephew?"  
"Why, of course! Kyoya and I are practically brothers."  
"Yes." The Ootori, male, pushed his glasses up. "Except for the fact that, you have blonde hair and I'm fully Japanese."

The Suoh paused a moment. "In spirit. Duh, Kyoya."

The twins planted themselves on either side of the new mother. "And we can babysit."  
"Uh...thanks, but we have a babysitter." Yuuki said hesitantly.

"Really?" Twin one.

"Who?" Twin two.

"Haruhi." The girl said quickly.

Haruhi looked up. "Someone say my name?"

"Yes. You baby sit Kain. Tell the twins." Yuuki widened her eyes in a pleading gesture. Her friend would babysit anyway. She had for Aimi.

"Um. Yeah. Yeah. I babysit." Haruhi nodded solemnly. "All the time."

The twins looked a little confused. "But you've only had the kid for a few months..."  
"Anyway." Yuuki clapped. "Did you see that weather report? Gee, it was something."  
"What about it?" Deedle Dee and Deedle Dum called.

"They're expecting...sun. All week." The girl nodded vacantly. "Strange."

Hunny very suddenly appeared right in front of her and leant forward to look at the baby. He had to fight the awed eyes of Jasmine and Aimi who were currently going through the 'baby' faze and had been trying to tell Yuuki how to use a diaper on her son. "Wow, Yuu-chan. He's so little."  
The Ootori smiled and looked down at her son. He was staring at everything that was going on. Just watching.

The short blonde beamed brightly. "Was it painful?"  
"What?"  
"Labor."  
"Um. I have no idea."  
Suki chocked on her tea. "What?"  
Yuuki laughed. "No. I have absolutely no idea. A whole hour of my life is just...gone. I was totally blotto the entire time. Drugged up way beyond my eyeballs on stuff that stopped it hurting and stuff that kept me alive and then stuff that kept Kain alive."  
"So...you don't remember a thing?"  
"Nope."

"Did you experience labor?"  
"Probably."

"And you...have no idea?"  
"Yes."  
"Does that bother you?"  
"Nope."  
"Why?"  
"Because. The whole idea of getting this," she indicated Kain. "...out of me doesn't seem like an event I want to remember."  
"It was caesarian! How painful could that be?"  
"Have you ever been cut open? I hurt for weeks."  
"Have you ever been in labor? I wanted to die." Suki petted her husband's knee. "Sorry. But I did."  
Haruhi laughed sweetly. "I wouldn't have missed it."  
Yuuki pondered. "Hm...pain that causes suicidal thoughts or waking up to find that my baby and myself were both alive and well...considering my circumstances...I'd go the latter."  
"Only because the former would have killed you." Suki scoffed as she went to drink more tea.

"Killed you!?" Hunny seemed horrified. "Why?"  
"Because, Yuuki wasn't well." Kyoya intervened.

"Will your next birth be okay?"  
"There won't be one."  
"To be an only child...I would be so lonely without Takashi." Hunny was so mortified that no one decided to tell him that Mori was his cousin, not sibling.

"Kain's going to be just fine." Yuuki bounced him lightly. The baby smiled, right up through his eyes. "He's got all the family he needs." The child would have five uncles. All of them hosts. All of them willing to drop the world should he need them too.

-

_I was thinking about the good old times  
And all the people who helped me survive  
Now who the hell knows where I'd be  
Without the branches of my family tree_

I was thinking about the friends who cared  
And all the times that we shared  
And if I had the strength to be what I could be  
Love and respect to the branches of my tree

_(Family Tree, H2O)_

-

Yuuki fit her pencil skirt again. Not because she was going out, but because she wanted to try it on. Again. Her waist was its old size again, except with a scar across the bottom of her abdomen. Her bust had grown, but would apparently shrink again when Kain started eating solids. Which was depressing. Suki still held onto the bet. Yuuki was young, she loved to be active, she loved to be healthy. She would never get pregnant again and her body wouldn't be at a stage where it could turn into a pear from carrying another child. For some reason, she was melancholy about it. Like she was missing out on some fantastic womanly development. A rite of passage that said she needed to go up a size in order to fully appreciate the total emotion of being a mother. It was as if she were missing something that she couldn't quite grasp. A lot of women complained about being larger after birth, but a lot of them also proclaimed the wonders of the human body and its ability to adapt and leave marks; stories under the skin, as such. Yuuki had a few stories. A scar on her shoulder-blade. One under her stomach. Kyoya had one between his ribs. It was faint, but it was there. Just like hers. Little stories. They weren't going grey. They weren't getting wrinkles.

They were still so young in the eyes of the world.

And yet they had seen so much.

They had done so much.

Been in the middle of it all.

Yuuki stood at the door to the nursery and smiled. Kyoya was sitting on the sofa by the window with his laptop in front of him; Kain was propped up against his torso so he could see the computer. The baby was staring at the screen; he looked slightly awed by the magical black marks that appeared on the white backdrop. They made no sense. But they were magical after all. At three months, or, supposed to be two, he was a bright baby. Happy and content. He couldn't do what a normal three month old could, like lift his head and chest, but he tried.

Whenever Kyoya paused to think for a second, his hand would stray to his son and his finger would get caught in the vice of a tiny palm. He would smile and push his glasses up with his other hand before tickling Kain gently on the inside of his elbow. The boy would get a small, but pleasant, surprise at the sensation and then stare at the crook of his arm for a minute while his father got back to work.

Yuuki laughed softly and headed down to the stable. Zero stood at the paddock fence. He'd seen her coming. "Hey boy. Missing me? I miss you." She ran a hand up his face. "My old friend. You were so faithful for so many years." Her horse had been three when she'd gotten him. That was when she was ten. He was almost off the circuit and only competed in small events. Other than that, he'd led a good life so far. "You're young, like me. But its time you stopped running around and leaping over things with me clinging to your back. Hey?"

Tachi came out of the stable, carrying a bale of hay. The horse stood dutifully by his master and stared at him. Waiting for the man to carry the food to him so he didn't have to leave. "Hey there, kid!" Her instructor waved and came over; dumping the hay at Zero's feet.

"You don't have to feed him. I was about to." Yuuki said after a brief hello.

"Ah. I don't mind. I have to do something while Misa is at school. Final year."  
"Your daughter is very smart. What's she going to do?"  
"Medicine."  
"End up working for me."  
"For your husband."  
Yuuki grinned. "Well. Maybe." Pause. "Tachi, I was thinking..."  
"Mm?"  
"Zero's sprightly and fit and healthy, but he's not for the circuit anymore. I think it's time he retired from the competitions. We've made our millions there."  
The man laughed. "You've made your millions there. I just helped."  
The girl peeled a piece of wood off the fence. "He'll still get ridden every morning, as soon as I can get back on properly...but..."  
"No, kid. I know what you mean. I made the same decision for my first competitive horse. He's got a lot in him yet, it's just not for gold anymore." He looked at her. "You wouldn't go to another Olympics?"  
Yuuki scratched her head. "I'd have to train another horse. I love riding, but it was my mother who had the true heart for the competing. I enjoyed it, but it's not my passion."  
"Where is your passion?"  
"Its inside."  
"And other than family?"  
"I've decided to write a book."

"Yes?" Tachi leant on the railing. "About what?"  
"I don't know yet. We'll have to see." Pause. "But it will help people understand life better. Kyoya likes my...theories, maybe other people will too."  
"You're not old enough to understand life yourself."  
"Physically."  
Tachi squeezed her hand. "You're a good kid." He blinked from the sun. "But your son is better." He laughed.

Yuuki smiled. "Want to go see him?"  
"Of course!" The man clapped. "I'd love to."  
The girl scratched her horse's neck a few times. Zero pulled his head up and stuck it into her chest above the railing. She hugged it and they played their old game before he turned back to his feed, happy, and she turned back to the house. Kain would learn to ride on her horse. He'd learn to ride on an Olympian. And if he decided to ride competitively, he'd have the perfect mentors for it.

Kyoya was sitting, looking out the window when they came into the nursery. Kain had been turned over onto his stomach and was lying up against his father, fast asleep. The man was on the phone, his voice steady and firm. His hand dominated the small back of the child as he kept him against his heart.

"Now that is the sweetest thing..." Tachi said with a hand on his hip.

Yuuki smiled as her husband turned his head to their presence. He told whoever was on the phone to hold for a minute as the girl came to take Kain into her own arms and let him work a bit. She kissed him sweetly for a moment in the exchange and her son woke up. He blinked a few times, saw his parents and shut his eyes again. They shared a moment, husband and wife, or rather lovers; best friends, before Yuuki cradled Kain against her heart and carried him out into the main lounge.

"I misjudged Kyoya. After the whole Rose incident..." Tachi said down with his student as she held her son against her body. "He's really odd."  
"To you. I understand him."  
"We'll, I'd expect you to. He's a good father. In his own, finding an equilibrium, sort of way." Pause. "How's my godchild?"  
"He's very good. Considering. I keep freaking out in case he caught a cold or something, his immune system wouldn't take to that very well at all."  
"Still not right inside?"  
"He will be. The doctor said it would just take more time than other babies. And a few drugs." Yuuki drew a lazy pattern on the back of her son's hair. Creating swirls in the tuft of hair.

Kain was a small child. Because of his premature birth, it was going to take a lot of care before he would adjust into a 'normal' lifestyle.

Tachi ran his finger up the baby's arm. "Does your dad know?"  
Yuuki sighed. "No. Not yet. I sort of want him too. Apparently he's doing well. They're moving him to the house up here."  
"You're house?"  
"My house."  
"I thought it was a youth facility?"  
"We extended it. It caters for mainly youth, but parents and married couples too." She paused. "My father is still a parent. No piece of paper can say otherwise."  
"How do you feel about that?"  
"It's okay. We'll see. Mako adores his little nephew. He only see's Hanna ever weekend."  
"Is he actually getting a divorce?"  
"I hope not. Kira's a lovely person. But, they can make it right again. It just depends on whether they see the effort as worth it."

Kain shifted, waking up slightly to resettle himself. If there was silence, Clair de Lune or his parents voices, he would sleep. As long as he had that assurance. Yuuki used the moment to hand him over to his godfather.

Tachi cradled the baby against the crook of his arm. Kain fully woke up. He stared quizzically at the face. He knew Tachi. He knew Haruhi. He knew many of the Ootori's friends. But he didn't recognise them properly yet. They were friendly faces. Just without a label. The baby made a small noise, as if he'd gotten a fight and then dismissed it.

"He has amazing eyes." The man said.

Yuuki smiled. "He does." Kain had his father's eyes. Slate grey. Flat to everyone except those he knew. "He's got lovely eyes."

An hour later, Tachi left. The girl peeled her son from him and balanced him against herself as she said goodbye. She went back to Kyoya. He was still in the nursery, writing in a clipboard and stretched out across the couch until he was close to horizontal. Marvin sat silently on a side-table Yuuki had put in the room for him.

"You know, we have a study." The girl said, sitting by his hip. "And that you look very out of character, lounging and working."  
Kyoya pushed his glasses up and laid his pen down. "I was going to move when you took Kain away, but then..."  
"You got all caught up." Yuuki said sweetly over him.

Her husband smiled. "How is he?"  
"He..." His wife arched her neck to look at her son. "...is asleep again."

The man put his work on top of his laptop and leant back. "Come here." He held one arm open for her.

Yuuki leant into it and stretched her legs down the sofa. Kain fitted snugly against her chest and steadied by a gentle hand. Kyoya closed his arm around her shoulders and let his hand fall on his son's back.

"Kodak moment." The girl said, folding her spare hand up to his collarbone.

Her husband let his other arm cross over himself and relax against her waist. Tangling them again. "Like that one?" He motioned across the room to an image above the bookcase.

It showed the entre host club, under a big old oak tree. Hunny was sitting on Mori's shoulders, beaming as he pushed a branch aside so he could be seen in the photo. The twins sat on the grass at the base of the trunk and linked themselves together. Tamaki and Haruhi stood not too far away, their hands joined. Yuuki was sitting in the tree swing. Apparently not aware that anyone was taking a photo. Kyoya was holding the rope and smiling as she looked up at him and laughed at some private joke. They were all dressed up. The newest Ootori in white. But now she wasn't the newest Ootori. Their son was.

"Mm. Like that one." Yuuki turned her head to her husband.

He pressed his forehead to hers. Kain slumbered on. Sweetly. Just like Yuuki and Kyoya had not known about each other until the day they met, hadn't known that something was missing until they spoke; Kain was a piece that existed invisibly until he came to be. One that fit perfectly. One that always was. Always meant to be. And always would be. Yuuki and Kyoya had never been complete without each other. But they, as a couple, had found something that made them even more breathtaking. Something that defined them without invading. Something that just was right. Without cause or explanation. Something that had come into their lives to bring more than just life.

Something precious and eternal. Just like them. To be loved like them. And by them. For forever and a day.

_-_

_I never thought through love we'd be__  
Making one as lovely as [he]  
But isn't [he] lovely made from love_

Truly the angels best  
Boy, I'm so happy  
We have been heaven blessed  
I can't believe what God has done  
Through us he's given life to one  
But isn't [he] lovely made from love

_(Isn't she lovely, Stevie Wonder)_

_-_

Kyoya opened the door after a long day at work and found that Yuuki and Kain were nowhere to be seen. He got to the lounge and found a thick set of muddy footprints, in two different sizes. It had been raining. But outside. Not inside.

A small force catapulted into the man's leg and wrapped its arms around his calf. A happy little noise escaped Kain. He'd come out of the kitchen and was wearing a pair of fluoro green gumboots and a set of damp overalls. He stared up with happy grey eyes and squeezed his father's leg tighter.

"We watched four episodes of _The Wiggles _today while it rained. Or he watched four. I watched one and decided to write for a bit. And then we went to see Zero and the big puddle in the middle of the paddock." Yuuki stepped lightly out of the door, where she'd been watching, and into her husband's arms. Her jeans were tucked into red boots and were sodden. "I think I found my bosom friend." She smiled after kissing him hello. "He jumps in puddles with me. I always wanted a bosom friend."

"What am I?" Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"You're my best friend." Yuuki picked Kain up and balanced the eighteen month old on her hip. "He plays in the mud, so he's my bosom friend. He's like...me in a tiny little boy's body."

Kain stretched his arms out for his dad. His father took him gently and kissed the top of his head. "Is your mother very strange?"

The boy giggled and threw his arms around Kyoya's neck.

"He is like you." The man smiled. "In an odd, twisted, manly way."  
Yuuki ran her hand over Kain's head and wrapped an arm around Kyoya's torso. "He's like you too. He plays with an abacus. All the time. And he sits on the floor, staring at the door, after you leave. He saw the basketball you and Tamaki played with the other day and tried to bounce it, it came right back and gave his face a happy, slightly painful hug."

Her husband laughed. He'd often found Kain clutching the window and pointing, making small noises as his mother exercised herself and her horse. There was a bit of them in everything of him. "Well, no saddles yet."  
"He likes it when I ride."  
"He's up that early?"  
Pause. "Why do you think he's asleep when you wake up? That's not magic. That's playing with Tachi for an hour."

"Well, that's good then."  
"What? Playing with Tachi?"  
"Him being asleep." They'd found their moments again. Just them. The time had always been theirs, but now it was only theirs. The silence just after early morning. And the darkness of a sacred night. Just deep, poignant moments that everything had amounted to, everything that happened. Moments no one could take away and no one could describe. They were still indescribable.

"Mm." Yuuki let her head fall on her husband's shoulder. "We missed you today."  
"I missed you today."  
Kain clapped messily and almost fell backwards. He steadied himself, his expression surprised. He then laughed joyously and waved his feet. A gumboot fell off with a loud _thunk_ and splashed water all over the floor.

Yuuki laughed. "That's where the puddle went." She kissed Kyoya tenderly, just below the corner of his jaw, before retrieving the shoe. She pulled the other one off while her husband realised how he'd become slightly damp, just by saying hello.

The baby stared at his mother's retreating back as she went to put his shoes outside, along with her own. His father bounced him lightly on his hip. "She should have thought of that first, hey?" He carried him through to the kitchen. "But I bet that's why she didn't." There was a mug and a Sippy cup and a packet of instant hot-chocolate. "I never thought I'd ever get two of you."

"It's a package deal." Yuuki smiled as she walked past him. "But this one needs to get into some dry clothes. Hey?" She waved a finger in Kain's face.

The boy spluttered happily at the attention. Kyoya blew warm air against his soggy hair. "Do you want dry clothes?"  
Kain shook his head and grabbed the man's tie. Yuuki laughed. "Well, do you want to catch a cold?"  
Not quite grasping the concept, the baby grinned and nodded his head. His father laughed and put him down on the countertop and pried the tiny fingers loose from his clothing. "Do you want mom to catch a cold too?"The boy nodded seriously. Catching something, no matter what it was, was a feat to all children. Kyoya leant his arms on either side of his son and put his face close. "Will you go put on dry clothes for dad?"  
Hesitance. Small shake of the head.

"Would you have a bath for me?"  
Pause.

Yuuki sat on the counter beside Kyoya's hand and gasped happily. "With bubbles?"  
Her husband laughed and leant back. "Yes, with bubbles."  
"I love you." She wrapped her arms around his neck as he stood straight. He caught her around the waist, knowing that her feet wouldn't quite touch the ground if she kept handing on as he stood.

He kissed her shoulder happily and lingered above her ear. "Don't drop the bottle."

She laughed. "No. No. I learnt that lesson a long time ago." She ran her nose up his neck after quickly glancing back to make sure her son wasn't about to leap off the bench-top. "Want to help?"

"Later." When their son was happily asleep and the night turned from sweet to decadent.  
Kain was smiling behind them. He was the only person in the whole world who could watch the couple and not look away. It was because he came from them. And in a way no one could explain, he understood them intimately. He knew their genetics as they were his own. He'd lived in the deepest, most private moments. He'd touched their silence, heard it throbbing through space. Heartbeats making music. Of which, his now made them a symphony. He became part of eternity. And a tangible whole of theirs He was as much a part of them as they were a part of each other. And he would never feel alone or under loved. Not this child. Never this child.

-

"No."

"Yuuki. Don't be difficult."

"Don't be impossible."  
"I'm being very reasonable."  
"What you're suggesting is not reasonable."  
"Because it's difficult?"  
"What's that supposed to mean? I can do difficult things without holding your hand."

"I'm thinking of your own good."  
"This isn't my good."  
"Yuuki."  
"Kyoya."  
Yuuki was sitting on the floor, staring stubbornly at her husband. She had a picture book in her hands and Kain in her lap. Kyoya was standing, hand on hip, staring down at her. Their son was trying to look at the book, but his mother had shut it and locked him in between her arms.

"Can you not be stubborn for just once?" Dad.  
"Can you not be pig-headed for just once?" Mom.  
The man sighed. Yuuki had come off Zero that morning and had a huge bruise developing on her shoulder. She refused, point blank, to see a doctor. Kyoya's concern about any damage to the girl usually turned into a fight. She hated the hospital. She'd been there to many times before. This also meant that she sucked rather royally at looking after herself. "Yuuki, that has to hurt."  
"It's a bruise. Of course it hurts."  
"You can't even lift Kain with that side."  
"I can."  
"Prove it."  
She scowled at him.

"Yes. I thought as much."  
"You're a doctor." She shot back. "Check it yourself."

"Yuuki."

"What?"  
"You'll do what I ask."  
"No."  
"Why?"  
"Because, I hate the hospital. Lots of terrible things happen at hospitals. Except for Kain."

"Lots of good things happen at hospitals."  
"Like?"  
"Like, saving lives. The purpose of their existence."  
"I thought it was to make money?" She scoffed.

Kyoya clenched his jaw. "How did it happen anyway?" He'd just walked through the door and seen her taking off her cardigan. No questions were asked, just a demand to her welfare.

"We were just cantering."

"Uhuh."  
Yuuki sighed. "Took a corner to tight. Smacked into the post. Happy?"  
"No." Pause. "You didn't tell me this morning."  
"It didn't happen this morning."

"When did it happen?"  
"After you left for work."  
"Why were you riding?"  
"Because I like riding."  
"You should have been watching Kain."  
"He likes it when I ride. He doesn't like it when you go to work."

"So this is my fault?"  
"I didn't say that."  
"Yuuki, how sore is your arm?"  
"A lot less than you make it out to be. Why are you being so protective? I've fallen off before. And don't say 'because I love you darling' because that's generic and it's been done before."

"Why did you sit in a hospital for four days while I was there?"

"Because, I was concerned." Pause. "Kyoya, I'm not dying."  
"Apply the same principle."  
"I will kill you."  
"As long as you get checked out while at the hospital."

Yuuki sighed. She didn't want to fight with him over a bruise. Maybe it was more than that to him. Maybe it was that inherit male dominance/protectiveness thing. Maybe he just cared when she was too stubborn to admit she'd made a mistake and tried to defy gravity; with all the consequences that implies. "You know. Kain thought it was hilarious."

The baby turned around his mother's arms and made a delightful noise at his name. Their tone's had softened. He didn't like their almost-fight. At all.

Yuuki smiled sweetly at him and put the book aside so he could hug her. "Hey baby. You thought it was the funniest thing in the world?"  
Kyoya sighed. His son stumbled to him. Kain tugged his father's pant leg and stared up expectantly. Wanting a hug from his other half. And a hello. He hadn't said hello. The man glanced at Yuuki and then knelt down to the baby. "Hello." He smiled.

Kain grinned. The tension relieved itself. He hated the tension; it made him uneasy to see his parents fight. He didn't understand it. The boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck and giggled when he stood up, lifting him off the ground in a single, smooth movement.

"Kain?" Kyoya held his hand and balanced him on his hip. "Can you answer a question for me?"  
The boy nodded. He couldn't speak, but he could understand.  
"Has mommy been in a bit of pain today?"  
Pause. Kain glanced at his mother. She was frowning at dad. The boy nodded slowly.

"Good boy." The man smiled happily at him. "Do you think she needs to see a doctor to stop her from being in pain?"

Nodding. Messy giggle. He was like his father. He liked questions. And answers. The right answers.

"And do you think she needs to stop being stubborn?"  
Kain clapped and beamed before bouncing in agreement.

"I feel...so betrayed." Yuuki stood up carefully. "You still have a talent for manipulating things."  
"I'm just trying to look after you."

"Yes, but please...don't get my son involved." The girl ruffled Kain's dark, tufty hair. "I'm still not going."

Her husband sighed. "You know it's because I love you and you're too stubborn to love yourself."

"Generic."

"True."

"It's also because you overreacted. Just a tad."  
"Because you were obstinate. Just a tad."

"Kyoya, it's really just a bruise."

"Some bruise."

Later that evening, Yuuki came home with a sling and a hairline fracture on the top of her collarbone. She sat and scowled her husband for half an hour while he played with Kain. The boy loved his dad. When he went to work, he would scuttle through the foyer and stare at the door. Sometimes he'd point and made a questioning sound. When he came home, Kyoya had to brace himself for two small forces that wanted to say hello. Yuuki was faster, but Kain had learnt not to let go from Jasmine. Or maybe that was part of his mother's genetics; to be obdurate to a tee when the time was right for it. He'd also inherited her spontaneity. To the point where it was topped by his father's thinking nature. Kain would run and think at the same time. The middle of either parent. He was exactly what they were when they were together. He was her laugh and his silence and their understanding; in one person. In one cherished little body. He encapsulated everything that was unsaid in the relationship and expressed it in his own way. He was their son. And he was beautiful.

"Don't." Yuuki pointed at Kyoya as he went to say something to her.

"Don't say "I told you so', or what?"  
"Well, you just said it, didn't you?"  
"If you'd left it, you would have ended up going anyway."  
She paused. True. "Yes, but couldn't we have left it and not fought?"  
"You wouldn't have seen it from my perspective."  
Yuuki sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just my riding. I can't have anything wrong with it. It's a habit."  
"Ten falls to be experienced, remember?"  
"Yes. But..."  
"But no."  
"But meh."

Kain giggled.

Kyoya smiled. "Immature hey?"  
"Mmm. Sometimes."  
The boy jumped up and down a few times, he was full of joy and contentment. His father picked him up. "I think its way past your bedtime."  
Kain shook his head.

"Don't be like your mother."  
"Hey. I never argued about that." She shot back lightly.

"Kain." Kyoya turned his attention to his son. "Are you tired?"  
Nodding.  
"Do you want to go to bed?"  
Shaking of head.  
"Do you want to stay up late like mom and dad?"  
Nodding.

"Is it exciting?"  
Nodding.

"Is it exciting when you're not very happy? Being tired isn't very happy."  
"Or grammatically correct." Yuuki said happily as she stood by her son. "Is it?"

Kain stared at them and put a hand on his face. He shook his head.

His mother ran a finger down his nose. "Dad stay at home tomorrow, hey?"

The boy nodded vigorously.

"Yeah?" She turned to Kyoya. "Yeah?"

Kain was waiting, expectantly. His father stared at Yuuki. He loved his job. "Yes." He corrected.

"Whatever."  
But he loved his family more. "No. I meant yes."  
"Really?"  
"Really."

"Yay." His wife kissed him merrily on the cheek. That was her victory for the night.

Kain let his head fall sleepily on Kyoya's shoulder. A minute later he was dreaming.

-

The Ootori Empire now encompassed a linked system of houses for those who needed help. Some of them had doctors, some of them just had psychologists, but all of them served the purpose of aiding people who asked for it.

Kyoya told Yuuki that her father was in the new centre. He also told her that he'd been in touch with those around him and had been told that she could go see him, if she wanted too. So they did. The family went to see the man who needed to forgive himself.

"Hey!" A young woman threw herself out the front door of the house and beamed brightly at the pair. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

Yuuki smiled and hugged the woman. "Chou, how's work?" The girl now helped girls with eating disorders.

"Busy." She sighed sadly. "Worse than when I came in."  
"Or just more obvious." The girl smiled. "You're doing good though."  
"And you're doing better." Chou knelt down to where Kain was standing. "How old is he?"  
"He's almost two."

"TWO!" The girl exclaimed happily. "He looks like his father."  
Kyoya appeared beside his wife. "Funny, I think he looks like his mother."  
The girl stood up and smiled at the man. "We'll, you're both attractive. So, it's not really a problem is it?" Pause. "If he gets her wit though, that's going to be an issue."

Yuuki laughed. "Just because its to fast for you."  
"Its to odd for me."  
"Well...your face."

Kyoya shook his head. "Yes. Anyway. We're here to see Shang Cunxin."  
"I know." Chou said. "I was actually sent to wait for you. Because I actually know who you are and what you do for a living."  
Yuuki picked Kain up and balanced him on her hip. The boy rubbed his eye. He'd fallen asleep in the car. "How is he?"  
"Shang?"  
"Yes."  
"He's good. Lunch just ended so, he'll probably be in the lounge. The races are on today and that plasma you bought for this place is like...being there."

Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up. Only the best. "We know the way. Thank you."  
"Okay." Chou clapped. "If you need me, my office is across the gardens. I was moved."  
"Okay." Yuuki thanked her and they parted ways. She and the girl spent an hour every week talking on the phone. Just like she spent an hour every day talking to either Suki or Haruhi on the phone, trying to work out how a diaper worked.

Kyoya put a hand on the small of her back and steered her through the corridors. "You wanted this remember?"  
"Yes. But...okay. I want this. Can you hold Kain?"  
Her husband took the baby. The boy didn't really have a problem with being exchanged. Each parent was different, but both emanated something he loved to absorb. Something only they could know about.

Kyoya walked behind his wife. It was her task, something she needed to do. If she wanted her father to move on, then she would make it happen.

The lounge was lovely. Comfortable. It had a set of brown, leather sofas, a giant TV for watching. The games room had the same thing, except with a gaming consol. There were paintings and books and games. And music and coffee and food. It was like the living room of a rich family, only for the use of those who needed it.

There were a few young adults in the room and a few older patients. One of the young men stood from where he was crouching at the arm of a sofa and greeted the couple. It was Liam. He had become head of House Management.

"Ah. My boss." He said pleasantly. "And my dear old friend." He smiled at Yuuki. "How are you?"  
"Great. How are you?" She still worried about him from time to time.

"I'm fantastic. I wouldn't be if it hadn't been for you and a movie."  
"Well. We do what we can." The girl laughed. "How's Su-yi?"  
"She's large. Maybe you could talk to her? She thinks she's unattractive pregnant, and she's not."  
Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up. "Just tell her that the curve is in the right place."  
"Worked for me." Yuuki shrugged. "And look at the result."

Kain seemed to know he was being talked about and looked around. Liam waved lightly at the baby. "Hello Kain, long time no see." His first birthday had been a huge affair. "You produce good looking spawn."  
"Well, we try." The girl said, kissing her son on the cheek.

Liam glanced at his watch. "I have to go....work for you..." He smiled at Kyoya. "So I'll leave you to it."  
"Say hello to Su-yi for me." Yuuki said brightly. She wasn't nervous. She was in a place of friends.

"Will do." The man turned and pulled his phone out of his pocket as he walked away.

The girl sighed and looked around the room. A couple of people glanced their way and returned to the television, not quite knowing who the couple was. One person just stared.

He had skin like translucent white paper, it wrinkled across the brow, as if he'd spent his life frowning. Since the last time he'd been seen, he'd been in hospitals, aged care facilities, retirement retreated and finally; on their doorstep.

Yuuki met his gaze and smiled softly. "Hey, dad." Her walls were right up. It had become habit. But she would be pleasant. She needed to know if everything that had been done for him, had helped him. For he needed help. Not hate.

The man stood up and hesitated. "I...um..." His tone was no longer like sandpaper; it had been used to much to retain its edge. "I didn't think I'd see you again."  
"Neither did I." His daughter raised an arm in expression. "But here we are." Pause. "Do you want to go outside?"  
"Do you want to?"  
"I offered."

Shang Cunxin nodded and headed for the door. He slid it open and stepped into the crisp, January air. There was a light snow on the ground. Kyoya pulled the hood of Kain's jacket up, making him look like a little Eskimo. The boy laughed at the fuzzy lining as it blocked part of his vision. Yuuki smiled lightly at the noise.

Her father turned and stared at the child. "He's yours?"  
"He is." She said proudly.

"How...old..." His tone seemed edged with a slight loss.

"You've been a grandfather for one year, seven months."

Shang didn't say anything. He just buried his hands in his pockets and walked until he reached a bench. It was surrounded by trees and looked over a river. The water gurgled lethargically. Not quite having been frozen and retaining a small amount of life.

"His name is Kain." Yuuki said, sitting beside him. She kept a learned distance. "He was born two months premature and he has his father's eyes."

"Why was he premmy?" The man beside her wouldn't look at her. Like a dog who knew he'd been awful.

"Because, I miscarried."

"When?"  
"A while ago."  
"Oh."  
"How are you?"  
"Why are you asking?" The last time he'd cared, he hadn't.  
"Because, I want to know."  
"I'm...better. But I'm getting old. I'm seeing things now that I should have. I'm old Yuuki. I'm dying."

"Do you still...um...blame me?"  
"No." His tone was slightly shamed. "No. That was wrong of me. I'm sorry."  
"I know."  
"Could you...ever forgive me for it?"  
"I did. I've just been waiting for you to forgive yourself."

A short cry rent the air. A happy little cry. Kain had caught the first snowflake. Kyoya was standing just a short distance away, watching as the white began to drift down.

"Is he good to you?" Shang asked for the first time.  
"He's more than good to me." Yuuki smiled at her husband. "He's the greatest thing that ever happened to me."  
"How's your horse?"  
"Zero? We retired from competition. He's good though."  
"And life?"  
"My life?"  
"Yes."  
"Well. It's everything a little girl would have dreamed of. Big house. Baby. Comfort. Prince Charming." She smiled. "It's good. It's really, really good."

Her father looked at his hands. "It didn't used to be."  
"No. It didn't." Yuuki looked at the river. "But you sent me to Ouran. You gave me what I have."  
"I didn't give you anything. Ever. And I'm sorry." His voice cracked.  
"I know."  
"I know you don't think anything much of me. But I've changed. You're husband sent me to Osaka and I discovered that I was the one with the problem. I have a problem Yuuki. And I took it out on you and Mako and I drove you away." Pause. "And I'm so, so, so sorry."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."

"Do you forgive yourself?"  
"I don't know how."  
"Know that I do."  
Shang stared at his hands. They were old. He looked at his daughters. The skin was smooth and pale. "How old are you?"  
It hurt a little that he didn't know. Yuuki swallowed. If he'd known, he would have said so. But he didn't, and that was him. Not her. "I'm twenty seven."

"Really?"  
"Yes."

"How old were you when you got married?"  
"I was nineteen."  
"And when you miscarried?"  
"Twenty three." Pause. "But you know what?"  
"What?"  
"I don't have an age. I don't. I never did. I just am who I am and there is nothing to specify who. I just know how. I could be sixteen all over again and it wouldn't make a difference."  
"I wish you were sixteen all over. I wish...I could have a do-over."  
"I'm giving you a do-over."  
Shang looked at Yuuki. "What?"  
"I'm giving you another chance."  
"Why?"  
"Because, If a man sins, forgive him. Even if he does it a thousand times."  
"I think I've done more than a thousand."  
"A thousand times a thousand. Dad. I can see you've changed. You're the person in the video." She smiled at the memory. "Where mom's holding me and you're filming. You can't tell me you didn't love her. Even though you didn't marry her for love." She looked him in the eye. "You're the first on sight the first time I fell off a horse. You told me 'Get up old bean, get back in the saddle and try again'. And that's really how I've lived. By your philosophy. You loved me dad, and you lost it. But it didn't change." Pause. "And I never gave up on you, even when I wanted nothing to do with your life."

Shang Cunxin stared for a minute before pulling her into his arms for the first time in six years. "Baby. I never meant those things. And I mean that now. I never meant to hit you. I never meant to hurt you." He was crying. "I never meant to cut myself out of your life."

Yuuki felt herself tighten instantly. A result of twenty years of misapprehended treatment. But something about him made her relax. Something sincere that had finally come up for air. She sniffed after a few minutes and let go. She was the one who let go. "Hey dad?"  
"Yes?"

"Want to meet your grandson?"  
He smiled and wiped a tear off his face. "Yes. I do." Snow had got stuck in his thinning hair and in the crinkles on his face. There were a few around his eyes. Stories of a time when he'd laughed.

Kyoya was holding Kain's hands above his head as he tested the icy ground. He had his mothers feet and was bound to fall over. Yuuki called her son and he looked up. His nose had gone red in the cold. His father let his hands go and watched carefully as he ran to his mother. He followed at a walk, his hands in his pockets. The shadow king coming out to watch in the sun.

"Hey you." Yuuki caught Kain before he could launch himself into the bench. "Hey. Want to meet your granddaddy?"  
The boy stared at her and then over her shoulder at the man. He clapped and waved his feet in the air.

"Okay baby." His mother sat him on her lap. "Gee you're getting heavy."

Shang Cunxin looked at his grandson. He was dark haired, bright eyed, pale skinned. "It's Kain, right?"  
"Right." Yuuki smiled warmly. "And he likes mud."

"Mud?" The man said to the child. "Why? Surely he's more refined than that?"  
"Can you refine a child?" The girl said, her finger caught in her son's palm. "You can teach him manners, you can teach him rules and how to be a gentleman. But he's still a baby. Kyoya tried to refine my driving skills and it didn't work. Because I can't drive. Just like Kain, right now, cant be refined."

"Can I..." The man offered his hands. Yuuki handed her son over.

Kyoya stood behind her and wrapped his hands around her shoulders comfortingly. "Sir." He said flatly.

Shang looked up from the baby. "Mr Ootori. I..."  
"I know." The man spoke over him. "This was my idea."  
Yuuki put a hand over his and said thank you. "When you're better, and out of here, then you can come visit. Until then though, we'll come see you."  
"Really?" Her father was astounded. "Thank you." Pause. "Really, thank you."

The girl stood up and wrapped her arms around her husband. He caged her against him. Protectively. "You be careful with my son." He said flatly. Still not trusting.

"I will." Shang Cunxin turned to the boy. He felt good for the first time in twenty years.

Yuuki looked up at Kyoya. "Thank you." She said softly.

He brushed her hair off her face. Her nose was red. "I love you."  
"I love you, Kyoya. Thank you." She looked him in the eye. The way he looked back caused their world to stop. Pause for them. They decided their age, they decided there would be none. Everything was just as fresh and good and thrilling as it was when they first began. Just as terrifying as falling off a horse. The man kissed her deeply. Lovingly. He didn't care that her father was there. He hadn't been her father for so long. But now he was again. He wouldn't be able to watch them like Kain could. He would be forced to look away, like everyone else. But he had been invited into the mystery. As long as he kept it clandestine and did nothing to even advanced upon it.

-

_Make it new but stay in the lines  
Just let go  
But keep it inside  
Smile big, for everyone  
Even when you know what they've done  
They gave you the end but not where to start  
Not how to build, how to tear it apart  
So tell it all and fill up the air  
But make it loud 'cause nobody's there  
Nobody's there_

Stop, turn, take a look around  
At all the lights and sounds  
Let 'em bring you in  
Slow, burn, let it all fade out  
And pull the curtain down  
I wonder where you've been

_(Lights and Sounds, Yellowcard)_

_-_

The first time Kain went out to a public event of social worth, he went to the ballet. _Beauty and the Beast_ was showing and Yuuki desperately wanted to go.

The boy loved it. The lights, the sounds, the colours. It was a child's dream. Kain sat on his mother for the first act and on his father for the second. Dad's shoulder was a lot more comfortable to fall asleep on.

The transformation was a particular hit. Kain had no idea how it was done and spent the next minute or so pointing at the stage and staring at his parents with wide, happy eyes.  
"Yeah. Me too." Yuuki laughed.

Kyoya smiled. He was the only one who had analysed the situation and payed attention to the stage. The hydraulics were hidden in the set and the smoke machine was attached to the platform that had raised the beast. It had covered the fact that the dancer had pulled a mask off whilst waving his hand magically in the air to distract the audience from the fact that he was balanced on a piece of wood.

His son made a small noise and looked at him expectantly. "What?"

Kain pointed at the stage again.

"Magic." Kyoya said lightly, balancing the boy on his lap.

Yuuki was laughing at the outfit that the wardrobe had changed into after her 'transformation'. Her husband looked at her. Her eyes were bright, her face lovely. More lovely than any other in the room. He was biased. Because he was in love. Kain laughed with her, liking the noise more than the faux pas of fashion in front of him.

The glitter from the event wafted through the audience and the boy watched it. He was a watcher. He took in the world and didn't give away what he thought about it. Like his father. Only those near and dear knew what was going on upstairs. At that moment, he was besotted. Kain made a small noise, and settled comfortably against his father as the audience began to clap.

Kyoya held him gently. He was like his mother in the way he fit, it was non-invasive and always welcome. Yuuki smiled at the pair. A few mornings before, she'd come in after riding to find her husband and her son asleep together. Kain had escaped Tachi and climbed into their bed and onto Kyoya. He'd settled on top of his chest and gone to sleep. His mud covered shoes still on. His father hadn't seemed to notice. He was still fast asleep. Yuuki had walked in and was welcomed by a messy, somewhat guilty giggle.

"Baby..." She stared at the smeared blankets. "What did I say about boots?"  
"I'm not wearing boots." Came the mumbled reply from Kyoya. Ever so slightly awake. His voice was husked with sleep.  
Yuuki smiled. "Not you. It's the muddy bundle of joy that took my place."

"Hmm?" Her husband opened one eye. "Oh. Hm." He closed it again.

Kain crawled up his chest and opened it. "Wa." He said happily.

Kyoya caught the little hand. Anyone else would have had a cardiac arrest. Not his son. He just bounced a bit. The man groaned at the sudden attack on his airways and picked the boy off him before rolling over. Kain climbed up to his ribcage and petted it lightly. Demanding attention. When this didn't work, he took to tickling. Not quite grasping the concept, the baby waved his fingers over the man's face and just managed to be annoying.

Yuuki shook her head and went to shower. When she came back, Kyoya was sitting up groggily. Her son was holding part of the duvet and waving it in victory.

"Wow." She said, amused.

"You said he sleeps in the morning."

"He does. Just not this morning."  
"Apparently."

Kain beamed and rubbed his eye.

"Baby." Yuuki picked him off the bed. "Don't wake daddy up in the morning huh? He's not a good morning person. He will eat you."

The boy stared at her.  
"You tired?"  
He nodded slowly. All work waking and no return play leaves for a sleepy baby and a dissatisfied husband. And an all around comical situation.

"Okay, Kain. Want a nap?"

Slight nodding.

"Dad not very good this morning?"  
There was a short noise as Kyoya collapsed back against the pillow again.

Yuuki slipped downstairs to the nursery, pulled Kain's boots off and sat him in his crib. "You sleep a little, okay? Like every other morning. You and I are going shopping today." She gave him a plush tiger. "Love you." Her words were sincere, adoring. Understood, even to such a little person. She kissed her son lightly and ran a hand over the top of his head before putting Clair de Lune on low.

When she got back upstairs, the song was playing softly through the speakers. Yuuki crawled into bed again and wrapped her arms around Kyoya, nestling her face against the side of his neck and pressing her body against his back.

There was a short mumble.

"Do you want a plush tiger too? Or are you good?" The girl said sweetly against his skin.

Her husband raised a sleep laced hand to where hers rested against his stomach. He rolled onto his back and tugged her lightly so that her head was against his chest and his spare hand on her hip. He couldn't speak real words in the light of dawn, but he could appreciate it.

-

When Kain turned four, he developed a fear of storms.

Thunder rolled around in the summer and the rains came to pound the roof.

Kyoya sat in bed with a book and listened. Storms were one of Yuuki's favourite things. She'd told Kain before tucking him in that night. It seemed to settle the toddler slightly, but it didn't ease him completely.

It was close to midnight when the door to their room clicked open. Kyoya and Yuuki had been talking. About nothing in particular. Just talking. And watching. Adoring. Enjoying each other and the storm in a personal world of silence.

"Ma?" Came a small, unsteady voice from the door.

Yuuki turned in her husband's arms and looked to the noise. "Hey baby. What's wrong?" Kain was rubbing an eye, obviously a little distressed.

"Scared."  
Kyoya propped himself on his elbow so he could see over his wife. "Storm?"

Slow nodding.

"Come here." Yuuki opened her arms.

Her son hurried across the room as another peel of thunder rolled around the house. "Is Zero okay?"  
"Zero's fine. He's in his stall. It's warm in there. You remember how warm it is in there?"  
Nodding. Kain crawled into his mother's arms. "Why is the sky fighting?"  
Kyoya let his son clasp onto his fingers. "Because. Sometimes things need to fight to make something better. The rain is good, isn't it?"  
Little nodding. Scared pout. "Why aren't you scared?"

Yuuki brushed his hair out of his eyes. It sat like her husbands, only it had a slight wave to it. "We've been in a lot of storms. And we know how to understand them."  
"Will I?"  
"Maybe one day."  
There was a silence. Light flashed through the curtains and the rain pelted down harder.

"Kain?" The boy looked up at his father. His voice was strong and steady. "Come here." He petted the space on the pillow between himself and Yuuki. "Only tonight though. Okay? You need to learn that it's okay for it to storm." They would teach him. "You can get through it and be better than before, not scared."

The boy let his mother lift him gently over herself and settle him between them. He wouldn't always be with them. But he would always be them. Even if he didn't understand it completely.

"Daddy?" The boy said, his voice soft.

"Mm?"

"Why doesn't God just let it rain?"

"The storms remind us of something important."  
"What?"  
"That we are only human."

Yuuki smiled at her husband. "And that we break."

Kain stared at each in their turn. "Why?"  
"So that we can find someone to put us back together again."

"Why does he let us break?"  
"We break ourselves. We run away when we should stand and fight. We don't heal the right things. It's a lesson. And sometimes lessons are hard, but they are for the best."  
Kyoya draped his arm across Yuuki's waist, trapping their son in between them. "Go to sleep Kain. It will make sense."  
"Promise?"  
"Do you trust me?"  
"Yes."  
"Then trust my promise. Okay?" He didn't know about his parent's story. He wasn't ready, or able to comprehend it. But one day he would. One day the storms would make sense.

"Okay."

A minute later, he was fast asleep, tucked up against his father's chest. Yuuki wrapped her arm around Kyoya's torso and pressed her forehead to his above their child. They watched each other for a very long time and made love in the moment where love stood brightest. As them. Together as a single form. Sleeping between them. Understanding the storms, but not what they meant. Just knowing that it was them that brought his parents together. That made them as they are. Where others had given up, they'd stood and endured. And been weathered. And broken. But come out beautiful, misunderstood, enthralled; as if heaven itself had made their marks everlasting and had blessed their eternity.

-

-------

_If you discount the lyrics, that was the longest chapter yet._

_I hope you enjoyed it._

_Please do give me your honest opinion. Constructive criticism welcome._

_Expect a short delay for the next chapter. Sorry, I have a lot to do at the moment and I want to write it properly. You deserve it._

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	41. Chapter 39

**-**

**Chapter 39**

-

The host club loved picnics.

It was Spring, the wind was light, the sky was padded with white and shades of deepening grey, the sun broke through and formed a watery haze, illuminating the mountains. And the lake shone. Like diamonds.

Yuuki stood on the edge and listened to her son and her friends children laugh happily in a game only they knew the rules to. Kain was five. And he looked like his father. He had his eye colour and shape, his nose, his chin. He had her cheekbones though. And her hair. He laughed like she did, only his bell was baritone where as hers was like that tied to the bridle of a Christmas horse. Kain was smart. He was already a little analytical, just like his father. But he took joy from the smallest things, like his mother. And he taught others about it, just like she'd taught Kyoya. The boy had a demeanour that was deep and impenetrable; only those who lived in his world knew about it. And they were the ones who had created the world.

"What are you thinking?" Kyoya still never knew. He stood beside his wife and stared over the water. Diamonds.

Yuuki smiled slightly. "I was thinking that it looked like the night sky." She had the only diamond she wanted. It never left her finger.

"Interesting perspective."  
"What do you think it looks like?"  
"A lake with the sun on it."  
"Very imaginative of you."

Kyoya smiled slightly. After lunch, everyone had separated into little groups. As per usual, he and Yuuki had separated into their own. "We can't all see sunbursts and marble halls."

"Yes, because not all of us read Anne of Green Gables." Pause. "What do you think that cloud looks like?"  
"Which one?"  
Yuuki pointed and outlined its shape with her finger so he knew which one.

The man pushed his glasses up. "It looks like a cloud."  
"Really? Thanks captain obvious."  
He laughed softly. "Okay." To see the world from her perspective. "It looks like...an umbrella."  
"I think it looks like a horse."  
"That is a very different shape to an umbrella."  
"It is...." Yuuki pondered a moment. One of them had something wrong with their eyes. He had the glasses. Problem solved. "Look. That one looks like a rabbit."  
"Which one?"  
"The one that looks like a rabbit."  
"I see a cloud."

"Look closer."

Peering pause. "No. It's still a cloud."  
Yuuki laughed. "I love you. You're so obscure."

"I love you too, but you're the ambiguous one."

The girl looked up at him. Kyoya was still staring over the water. She smiled softly and he turned his head. "You truly are ageless."  
"What do you mean?" He frowned slightly.  
"You just are."  
The man stared at her gently. "In the same way that, you're still the loveliest creature anyone could set eyes upon?"  
"Thank you Hallmark. But yes." Yuuki tied her fingers into his. "Of course, lovely isn't very manly. So, if I were to say that to you I would use the word...divine, exquisite...uh..." She paused to think. "hot?"  
"Hot?"  
She frowned. "Handsome."  
"You said hot."  
"Yes. But I meant handsome."  
"I'm not hot?"  
"Yes. But, it's not very...literate to say so." Pause. "Anyway. Awkward. Um..." She laughed. "What I was saying. Do you think other people see their partner aging? Or do you think their like us?"  
"Did they say eternity?"  
"I don't know."  
"Could it be, that, the world of other couples is just as arcane as our own?"  
"Other couples fall out of love. Like Mako."

"Was he ever in love?"

"Maybe. Maybe like my mother and father. But to a certain extent, yes. Maybe it was a different kind of love. Maybe, he didn't know any better." Yuuki ran a hand through her hair. "It's sad."

"I wouldn't share what we have."  
"You never share."  
Pondering moment. Smug smile.

Yuuki turned her body to his and kissed the smugness out of the smile. Kyoya wrapped his arm around the small of her back and pulled her tightly into him.

Suki saw them and whispered something to Tamaki. The blonde glanced at the pair; it was as if the rest of the world didn't exist.

The Suoh stood straight and smiled coyly. "Got a camera?"

"That's awful." Haruhi handed him an ice-cream cone.

"No it's not." Twin one said, digging into his bag.

Twin two found it first. "It's awesome."

Tachi broke the Kodak moment. "Oi! No. Not in front of the children! Keep it rated PG! My daughter is here!" He ignored the fact that she wasn't a little girl anymore.

Misa was chatting with Riki; the latter had just gone into middle school, the former was a few years older, just out of school. Upon hearing her name, Misa looked up. Instead of distracting her, Tachi pointed and made an OK sign with his hands. His daughter looked over and laughed. Riki pulled a face. She still had a crush on Kyoya. Her uncle wouldn't let her forget that when she was younger, she'd tried to kiss him.

Kain stopped running around looked at his parents. He grinned and burst away from his friends. He laughed happily as he hugged their legs. Those watching witnessed a world of intimacy widen, but not change. It was how things were supposed to be. Kyoya picked his son up, not letting go of his wife. She smiled and pressed her mouth against Kain's head. The boy squeezed his eyes shut and laughed again.

That was what a family should have looked like. What it looked like in advertisements. It wasn't impossible. It was just probable. Hard to attain, but worth it. A group of happy, healthy individuals who bound themselves together without explanation. People who experienced joy by putting themselves last. It was the only place Kyoya would put himself last. He was still, essentially an egoist. A feared, powerful ruler. The king of the Ootori Empire. He was still cold and hard. But not with them. He had never been like that with true friends.

"Did you get that?" Hikaru put his hands in his pockets and asked his twin.

Kaoru stood with the camera. "No."  
"Why?"  
"There are some things that just can't be justified on film."

Tamaki smiled. "I think you two finally understand."  
"Understand what?" They asked together.

"What it's like to be entirely one's own, but entirely another's. To love not for yourself, but for that who loves you. Not because they deserve it, but because you want to. Because they're the only thing that matters..."  
"Are you done?" Riki said, now standing my him with his arms crossed. "I'm going to be sick."  
"Why princess?"  
"Because." She paused. "Its not real. I bet they fight. All the time. I bet she uses all the hot water in a house that shouldn't run out. I bet...they're not like that all the time."  
"Of course not! That would be tiring to even them. You can feel like that all the time, but you can't live it. That's where people get lost! Dear, princess. Understand me when I say this; love is not love because it exists everywhere, but because it exists."  
"I don't get it." Riki said flatly.

"You will. One day. Maybe."  
"Maybe?"  
"If you want to understand it, you have to be prepared to hurt for it."  
"As if they hurt."  
"As if they don't."

The girl glanced up at Tamaki and then back at his wife. Haruhi was collecting Aimi and Kenji so that they could have ice-cream. And she saw that he had it to. The Suoh's had it to. Even though they weren't standing on the shore of a lake with the mountains behind them and an approaching storm looming romantically over the water. It existed, if you knew what to look for. If you knew it existed. But it never existed the same for everyone. Tamaki was a romantic, he adored, he doted, he exclaimed. Kyoya was a shadow, he cherished, he told secrets, he esteemed and respected.

But they weren't like that all the time. They had to go to work. And they fought. And they cried. And hurt. But that didn't mean that a moment like the one on the shore; of best friends and lovers, didn't cease to be. It just shifted into another shape. Like water. Carving a path. It was the same all the time, it just altered when it needed to. And provided room.

Many couples tried to be the rock that contained the water. And they found no freedom.

Tamaki sighed happily. "Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come: Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved... no man ever loved."

"You missed, 'I never writ'. Shakespeare was quite mad. Sonnet 116 was proof." Mako undid the top of a thermos and poured himself coffee.

"But was he wrong?" Tamaki said profoundly.

"Sometimes I think you're gay." The Cunxin said flatly.

"No." Haruhi appeared with Kenji on her hand. "Just European."

Suki raised her eyebrows in realisation. "Ha." Pause. "It still doesn't make sense."  
"It does to you." Tamaki crossed his arms and watched the young family head back to them from the water's edge. As if nothing had happened.

The woman thought a moment, glanced at her husband, found him asleep under a tree, smiled slightly and understood every word. To her. Everyone loved differently. And love was not a set emotion. You could love someone and not like them. Especially when fighting. But you would love them. You could love them and miss them. Be annoyed and still want to do things for them. Love to love in all circumstances.

-

_For we, we are not long here  
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it  
And I, I was made to live, I was made to __love__, I was made to know you_

_-_

"Oh. That's good. That's...it was dewy this morning, Kyoya." Yuuki crossed her arms and looked at her son. He had a patch of mud across one eye and specks of dirt across a white shirt.

"The fact was duly noted." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.  
"Ma?" Kain looked up at her.

"Yes, baby?"  
"Do I have to wear a tie?"  
"Yes." She scowled at her husband. Kain had got outside. Just before they were about to leave for a function.

"Why?"  
"Because, this is an important occasion and you're important. You need to look the part." Kyoya knelt down and undid his son's tie. He needed a new shirt. The damp one was swiftly removed from a curious little body.

Yuuki took it from him and disappeared to the laundry, her heels clacking on the floor. The function in question was a fundraiser for children's hospitals. There would be dinner and dancing for the parents, movies and dress-ups for children. She stuck her head into the nursery. "We ready?"  
"I have no idea." Kyoya looked at his son, the little red tie in his hand.

"What?"  
"You know how you can't drive a car? And that's the _thing you can't do?_"  
"Yes?"  
"Well, I just found the _thing I can't do."  
_"What?"  
"Put a tie on someone other than myself."

Yuuki laughed and crossed the room. "Aw, darling. Disaster." She took the tie, amused that he couldn't do something so simple. Then again, driving to him was simple. "It's easy."

The girl knelt down, balanced on her heels and put the tie gently around her son's neck.

Kain sat very still. "Ma?"  
"Mm?"  
"Why is it red?"  
"Because, that's the colour of the ribbon the foundation gives out."  
"Why?"  
"Because...um..." Yuuki glanced over her shoulder at Kyoya. He'd chosen the colour.

He smiled smugly. "In Japan, red is a traditional color for a heroic figure."  
"Ah."  
"Ah." He said lightly as his wife straightened the tie.

"Why?" Kain stated at his father.

"Because everyone wants a hero."  
"Who are the hero's?"  
"The children." He handed his sons jacket to his wife so she could put it on him.  
"Am I a hero?" The boy beamed.

Yuuki kissed his forehead and brushed his hair neatly aside with her fingers. "Of course." He'd survived.

Kain grinned and closed his eyes bashfully before letting his mother lift him to her hip.

"Ready?" She breathed on him.

"Yes." Pause. "Can we watch _Lion King_?"

"You'll watch what is put on."  
"I want to watch Lion King."  
"Other kids might not. You might get a lot of the things you want, but you have to give to."  
"What do I get?"  
"You get to sacrifice."  
"Why?"  
Yuuki sighed. "Because, that's how it works."  
"I don't want to sacrifice." He struggled with the last word.

"Why not?"

"Because. I don't want to."  
"When you find someone you want to give everything to, then you'll want to." His mother teetered a little on her heels as she carried him behind Kyoya to the front door.

Her husband turned his head slightly. Just enough to see the corner of his mouth lift up as he listened.

"When will that be?"  
"I don't know baby." Yuuki hoisted him a little higher.

"Do you have someone?"  
"I sure do."  
"Who?"  
The girl laughed musically. "I got your dad."  
"What's so special about dad?"

Yuuki glanced at her husband. "You tell me, huh?"  
Kain thought a moment. "He's smart."

"Uhuh. What else?"  
"He likes to teach me things."  
"Like what?"  
"Like addi...addit..."  
"Addition?" His mother offered.

"Yeah."  
"Yes." His father turned around and corrected him as he opened the door.

"Whatever." His wife said lightly.

Kain laughed happily and waved his arms to his father. "Will there be lots of lights?" He'd been caught with the paparazzi once.

Kyoya took him gently, a smug expression on his face as Yuuki straightened her dress. "Yes."  
"Do I have to like them?"  
"No. But you have to smile."  
"Why?"  
The man gave his wife the house keys so she could lock the door. Juggling took turns. "Because, as an Ootori you always have to present yourself well."  
"Why?"  
"Do you like people who frown?"  
"No."  
"Do you want people to like you?"  
"Yes."  
"Then smile."  
Kain nodded firmly. "Okay."  
"Okay?"  
"Okay."  
Yuuki looked at the gravel of their drive cautiously. She didn't trust her shoes. At all. It reminded her of the time Kyoya had taken her to a ball, just before the Olympics. It didn't feel like long ago at all. Nothing felt like long ago with him. It felt like yesterday.

"You coming?" Kyoya was halfway to the car already.

"Um. Yes."

"Shoes?"  
"Shoes." She nodded.

The man put Kain in the car and turned to find her still staring at the drive, a quarter of the way across. He sighed and went to walk with her.

_They were halfway to the car when she stumbled on a particularly stubborn set of pebbles. The Ootori caught her by the waist, even though Yuuki had corrected the mistake. Kyoya stared at her..._

"What?" Yuuki looked up at him.

"Why do you wear them?"

"Makes it harder to run away."

"Why would you run away?"  
"You tell me."  
"I won't do that again."  
"Neither will I."  
"Then why the shoes?"  
"Because." Pause. "Their gorgeous." She pouted. They also hurt somewhat. Sit down shoes.

"Is it worth it?" He still had her waist. The car was humming slightly. They had a driver for functions. It wasn't good to arrive from the back.

"Yes." Yuuki smiled. "I'm also taller."  
"Do you want to be taller?"  
"I've always wanted to be taller."  
"Why?"  
She kissed him. Without having to stand on her toes. "That's easier."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."

"Will you fall over anyway?"  
"Yes."

_Kyoya...wrapped a piece of her hair around his finger. One of her dark waves._ It was loose for the night. Her dress was navy and gold. Grecian. Elegant._ "Let's hope not."  
Yuuki stared at him softly. The last few months had been a blur. A good blur, one she would put into slow motion, over and over again. He was hers and he wanted her. An equal treaty. The girl kissed her_ husband again. Husband. _Odd word. It didn't explain enough. It seemed to dull down a relationship to a stereotype_.

"No fish tanks." Kyoya said into her ear.

Yuuki shook her head. "Not this time."

"Same hotel though."  
"De'ja'vous much?"  
"Act your age."

"What is my age?"  
"You tell me." She was still nineteen to him. Always.

"Not yet thirty-five." Came the smug reply. She knew age didn't matter at all.

"35 is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained 35 for years."  
"Thank you, Lady Bracknell."

Kyoya laughed. She liked _The Importance of Being Earnest._ "The Olympian and the Gentleman; Behind the scenes."  
"Oh gosh." Yuuki put a hand on her face remembering the article. "At least you bought the Merc."  
"Yes. But we're not going in it."  
"No. You have to have something fancy."  
They were going in their other car. A pitch black Jaguar. Brand new. Very shiny. "There's a kids seat."  
"Will you be in it?"  
Her husband raised an eyebrow.

"No. You need a padded room."

"It's fine." He kissed her forehead as they covered the final stretch to the car.

"It's classy."

Kain was waving his feet, banging them against the booster seat. "Is tonight boring?"  
"Not for you darling." Yuuki smiled as she climbed into the car.

"For you?"  
"Maybe."  
"Why?"  
"Because, mommy and daddy can't be mommy and daddy. They have to be Mr and Mrs Ootori."  
"Who are they?"  
"Exactly." Kyoya said flatly as he climbed into the passenger seat.

Yuuki smiled. "You'll understand when you're older."  
"Promise?" Kain held his hand out.

His mother locked her pinkie finger with his. "I promise."

He smiled and gave her an Eskimo kiss.

From a time before the Olympics. From a time before the wedding. From a time just after her revival. Things had turned out so right. Because, they always had been. When they'd accepted that. And each other.

-

_I'm getting into you  
Because you got to me  
In a way words can't describe  
I'm getting into you  
Because I've got to be  
You're essential to survive  
I'm going to love you with my life_

_(Getting into you, Relient K)_

-

The arrival of the Ootori's sprouted many a flash of light and many a cry for attention.

After taking Kain to his first function, they had been dubbed the _Brangilina_ of Japan. The early stages of anyway. She always managed to look demure. Him, confident. Their son, their heir, was always smiling. And always sincerely. As if his task was enjoyable. Because his parents said it was right.

"Mr Ootori!" A man yelled above the rest. "What do you have to say to the current health crisis in China?"  
The man paused and put a finger to the bridge of his nose in thought. "I would say...that if they call upon us, we will help them."  
"And if they don't call?"  
"Then we will see how they manage to help themselves. I will not jump into a situation until it is necessary that I do so. It could damage the honor of the nation if we hand out aid dramatically. The situation is being controlled."  
"What if it spreads to Japan?"  
"Then we are prepared for it."  
"Are we?"  
Kyoya smiled. "Believe me, we can handle it." They did. And they could. The Ootori group had stockpiled medical supplies in case of another outbreak like the bird-flu. Measures could be taken. And they had.

"Mrs Ootori?" The man had pushed to the front of the line. The pair often didn't talk to the mass of front-media. They went to the back.

The girl smiled nonetheless.

"Your son was premature. Is this benefit for him?"

"This benefit is for the children's hospital. My child is no longer in hospital and has no plans to be there any time soon." She squeezed Kain's hand. He was standing beside her, waiting patiently.

Kyoya nodded at the mass of cameras and they moved on.

The media they would talk to was at the back.

Fashion went straight for Yuuki. "Dear, you look lovely."  
"Oh." She blinked. "Thank you."  
"Who are you wearing?"  
"I'm wearing Lisa Ho."

"Is it hard to prepare with a son?"  
"It is when he goes out to play before we leave."  
There was a short laugh. "He have antics?"  
"Dirty one." Yuuki smiled. "He likes the paddock. He doesn't like his suit."

"He looks sweet in it though."

"I know." The Ootori sent her son a private smile. "But boys will be boys."  
"Mr Ootori doesn't seem to mind a suit."  
"No. He got used to it." Her husband was talking to a business magazine just beside her.  
"Kain?" The interviewer turned to the boy.

The youngest Ootori looked up.

"That's an awful nice tie." The woman beamed.

Kain thanked her.

"Where did you get it?"

"Narnia."  
"Narnia?"  
Yuuki laughed. "His closet leads to Narnia."  
"Really?" The interviewer said in an amused tone.

"Yes." Kain nodded stoutly. "Mommy went and got it for me. I'm not tall enough yet."  
"Not tall enough for Narnia?" The woman gasped.

"Not yet." The boy's mother said politely.

Another interviewer turned their attention to Yuuki. "Mrs Ootori, I hear you're writing a book?"  
"Yes. I am."

"What's it about?"  
"Life." She said simply. "It's just a story about life. And love. From my perspective."  
"It's a biography then?"  
"No. It's a novel. It isn't my story. But my story has helped describe it."  
"What's it called?"  
"Gilded Butterflies."  
"Why?"  
"Why make something more elaborate and beautiful than it is? Life is wonderful simple, we try to make it difficult, but it's not. To see it like that would be to see true beauty."

"To love another person is to see the face of God."  
"Exactly." Yuuki smiled.

"When does it come out?"  
"Winter."  
"Christmas book?"  
"It can be whatever book you want it to be." Kyoya had taken her hand; it was time to go inside.

"Have a good time?" He pressed his mouth close to her ear and picked Kain up onto his hip. The media loved the image.

"The wolves had been fed before we came it seems."  
"Rose is here."

"Oh. Explains it." Pause. "Why?"

"Her father is now Health Minister of France. He needs to be here as part of the Ootori group."  
"The health of France is in Ootori hands?"  
Her husband smiled haughtily. "Do you hear the people sing?"  
"Singing the song of angry men I imagine." She twisted the lyrics.

"They bought us."  
"And got dominated." Yuuki laughed lightly.

"Well. They should have looked at our history."  
"They should have."  
"They have control of it."  
"What do you control?"  
"Their funds."  
"AKA, all of it." Yuuki paused in an amused manner, her expression expectant.

"Of course." Kyoya said. Nothing less would do.

At that instant, a woman with short, dark hair and bright red lipstick burst through the crowd and smiled at them. "My old friends!" She looked like Natalie Portman crossed with Megan Fox.

Yuuki did a private double take. "Rose?"  
"Yes." She paused. "I don't dye my hair anymore. I don't drink to get drunk. Although, I do get drunk sometimes..." Progress was progress. "...And, I'm engaged." She held up her left hand. The diamond was the size of South Africa.

"Congratulations." Yuuki hugged her lightly.

"I wanted to call you when I heard about your son. But I didn't know if you would want me to. Considering the circumstances."  
"What circumstances?" The girl smiled. She'd forgiven them both. Not forgotten, it had happened. But she could move on. If she could, they could.

Rose breathed. "I was so scared you hated me. Even though you helped me that night."  
"No. Rose. It's okay."  
"Really?"  
"Yes."  
Kyoya was talking to Kain in the background. Keeping his distance from the woman. The boy was asking questions. Again. This time about why there were so many people. Where were the children? Why couldn't he go with them? Why was it a grown-ups party?

"Is that your son?" Rose said softly.

"Yes. That's my son." Yuuki turned proudly. "Want to meet him?"  
"Of course."  
Kyoya heard the request and changed his demeanour from father to associate. "Rose."  
"Hello." She smiled. "And hello." The woman turned her attention to Kain.

The boy stared at his mother. She nodded at him and he smiled at Rose. "Pleased to meet you."  
"Oh. That's adorable."  
Yuuki looked around for a moment, searching for the woman she knew she had to talk to that evening. For the company's benefit.

"I have one too." Rose said suddenly.

"Really?" The Ootori turned her attention back.

"Yes. To my fiancé. That's not why we're getting married though." She covered. "A little boy. Jacques. He's two."  
"That's lovely." Yuuki said sincerely.

"Mm. How did you get your body back? You were in a magazine in Paris a few months after the birth and I said to myself 'there's a women who hasn't had a baby'."  
The Ootori's smile reached her eyes. "I had a caesarean. And I did the whole Pilates, treadmill thing."  
"You had a caesarean?"  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
"Because, I wasn't well."  
"Lucky you. Maybe that's why it was easier for you to lose the weight."

"I couldn't tell you'd had a child."

"Really? Thank you." Rose beamed.

Yuuki laughed. Kyoya caught her eye. Kain needed to go.

The girl turned to Rose. "Is your son in the children's program for tonight?"  
"Of course. Only the best."

"Okay. I need to give mine over for a bit." Yuuki took Kain's hand as he balanced on her husband. "Ready to go?"  
He shook his head.

"I'll miss you." She smiled crookedly at him.

"I'll miss you too." Kain said sweetly. He didn't want to go. But his parents didn't want him to either.

"You know why you have to go?"  
"Yes. Because mom and dad have to be Mr and Mrs Ootori."  
His mother's expression became cheerless. "Sorry."  
"It's okay." The boy nodded.

Kyoya smiled at his son. "Good boy. Love you." He said sincerely.  
"Love you too." Kain petted his father's shoulder.

The man turned to his wife. "You or me?"  
"Um. Where is it?"  
"Me then." He said smugly.

"Hey. I didn't..."  
"I know."

"Right. Well, I'll be with Rose." Yuuki was friends with the woman. Even if her husband and Rose were on less than smooth ground with each other. Healed, but rocky.

"I know." His tone was sarcastic.

Yuuki raised a humoured eyebrow. "I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest."

"So did I." Kyoya shot back flippantly. He was okay with her being with the other woman.

"Whatever." She kissed him nonchalantly and turned to her son. "I'll see you later, okay?" She pressed her lips to Kain's forehead and fixed his tie. Media or no media, a mother couldn't not love her child.

"Okay. Bye mama."  
"Bye baby." She waved lightly as her husband disappeared through the throng of people.

"You think I could ever be like that?" Rose said, leaning casually on one leg.

"Sure." Yuuki ran her finger across the back of her wedding band. "I think everyone could."  
"Really?"  
"Of course. You can make it work like that."  
"How?"  
"Respect. Acceptance."

"I didn't respect your husband. That wasn't very fair of me."  
"No. But he didn't respect you. That wasn't very fair of him either." The topic still gave Yuuki the chills. Even though she and Kyoya had been apart at the time. He had always been hers. Since before they'd met. "I think that you can make it work if you're willing to work." Pause. "Where is your fiancé?"  
"He's in Paris. Working."  
"What does he do?"  
"He runs a software company."  
Yuuki smiled. Rich. "He's good to you?"  
"Oh. Very."  
"He loves you?"  
"He says so."  
"Does he love you without saying so?"  
Rose paused. "Yes."  
"Do you love him?"  
Another pause. "Yes."  
"Than you can be like Kyoya and I."  
"Really?"  
"Of course. Give him everything and you will get the world."  
"That doesn't make sense."  
Yuuki lifted the hem of her dress slightly so she could start moving again without tripping, her expression easy. "It's not supposed to."

-

_If I had my own world; I'd build you an empire. _

_(Angels and Airwaves, 2008)_

-

The function went as planned. Speeches were made. Donations were made. Things were bought. Doctors told statistics. They were praised. Dinner ended.

The party slowly made their way to a giant ball room for after dinner socialising and dancing.

Rose decided she would dance with Kyoya. No matter what. First dance. First song.

"Hey there." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Dance with me."  
"Rose, that's not a good idea."  
"Oh. Come on. I'm sober. I'm engaged. I'm not attracted to you." Pause. "Okay. Maybe a little."

"No." The man peeled her off politely. "You know perfectly well why that's not a good idea. The media would love it too."  
"Would you love it?"  
"I want to dance with my wife."  
"Is that all?"  
"Its more than enough."  
"Is she a good dancer?"  
Kyoya paused as if remembering something. "No."

Rose laughed. "Well, do me a favour and give me a final dance."  
"Why?"  
"Because. I can move on knowing that it's okay between us."  
"It's okay between us."  
"Yuuki taught me tonight that words are just words, you have to show the person."

"She did, did she?" Kyoya glanced over Rose. His wife was standing, talking to a group of women wearing pastels. She smiled and waved lightly at him.

"She did."

"Did she say she was okay with you and I being close?"  
"She didn't have to." Rose looked him in the eye. "She knows nothing happened." She breathed. "It was nothing, Kyoya. I know that. I think you do to. You needed something to rectify yourself and I needed something to prove myself. We were both wrong."

"We were."  
"Then, let's make it right."

Kyoya sighed and pushed his glasses up. Yuuki caught his eye for a second. In that moment, he understood that it was alright. It was alright to make mistakes and have them forgiven. It was natural not to forget. It was possible to move on and learn. "One dance."  
"Really?" The woman seemed truly surprised. And honoured at the same time. "Thank you."  
"Don't mention it."  
"I'm sorry, Kyoya." For using him.

"I know. I am too."  
"I know."  
The song was faster. A mid-beat. There was nothing personal about it. It was just dancing. Just two people; who had only ever been two people. Despite what had happened. And that was it for them. To taste the bitterness of a mistake, to be tainted with sin, and brush one's teeth.

Yuuki watched slightly from the sidelines. Her attention was predominantly on the conversation, but it was needed with her husband. Not because she didn't trust him, but because she didn't know how he would be without her reassurance on the matter. Even though she'd forgiven him and moved on, it was something he carried silently. His scar from when she flew away.

As the song wound down, Yuuki took her leave of the gaggle of pastels and found her husband. She tapped Rose on the shoulder. "Can I cut in?"  
The woman nodded. She didn't speak. Which was odd for her. She'd shifted somewhere inside. Understood something. Something Yuuki would never understand because she was not her. Because it was not for her to understand.

"Thank you." The Ootori said lowly as Rose thanked Kyoya.

The French woman smiled lightly. "No, thank you."  
Yuuki nodded lightly and watched her leave.

"You were cutting in, remember?" Came a supercilious voice.

"Oh. Yes." The girl shook her head and smiled happily. "Sorry."  
"Penny for your thoughts?" Kyoya said, taking her hand and pulling her against him.

"A whole penny!?" Yuuki gasped playfully. "Then I can't pass on the offer."  
Her husband laughed lowly. "Then don't."  
"I was thinking that it's funny how things work out."  
"What things?"  
"You and Rose. You can't pretend something like that didn't happen. And you can't live without that grievances inside, the reminder. But you can move on. It's about time you moved on."

"Hm. Dr Phil."  
"Well. I do my best."  
Kyoya glanced over her head. "Having fun?"  
"I am now." The music was slow. Gentle. Pause. "Do you think Kain's okay?"  
Her husband smiled slightly. "I think he's fine."

"Okay." Yuuki let her head fall gently on his shoulder.

"It's only the second dance."  
"Are you complaining?"  
Pause. "No."

The girl smiled slightly. "Did you know that the McGill's are planning to extend the Ootori group in London?"  
"Really?"  
"Mmmhmm. They will keep it a McGill Health Centre, but they'll do it with your funds."  
"Oh really?" Rhetorical question. They would do no such thing.

"Uhuh. I told the wife not to tell too many people. She asked why. I told her it was quite impossible with the structure of the Ootori Group."  
"Good girl." Kyoya kissed the top of her head. "And she said?"  
"She said 'oh bother'. Or something like that. She'd tell her husband...that maybe you two could talk." Functions were not just social or political events, they were reconnosaince missions.  
"Oh, we'll talk." Pause. "We'll have a long discussion."  
"You can't fire him."  
"No. But I can come close to it."  
"Enough for him to feel the heat?"  
"And never get close to it again."  
Yuuki laughed softly. "No more business."

"Okay." He squeezed her hand. "No more business."

The girl loved how she could get him to do that. Drop a topic. Drop work. He might be the dominant member of their relationship, the male side; but that did not mean she was secondary. Of course, he wasn't about to stop work for her and she wasn't going to stop riding because he said so. They were their own person. Just within the other. Individuals with an individual bond. It was about acceptance and respect. Not dominance and submissiveness. "Mm. Kyoya?"  
"Yes?"  
"Is Kain going to Ouran?"  
"Our Ouran?"  
She smiled. Their Ouran. "Yes."  
"Well. Do you want him too?"

"Is it what's best for him?"  
"We're not moving and it's the best in the area. So yes."  
"Is he going to be a host? Kenji is at Ouran..."  
Pause. Awkward pause. Dreading pause. "I forbid it."  
"You forbid it?" Yuuki looked up at him. "You hypocrite." She added good-naturedly.

Her husband let a happy ghost flit through his expression. "I was in the Host Club to prove something to my father. He has nothing to prove."  
"You were also in it because you enjoyed it. The work, the happy smiles, Tamaki..."

Kyoya went to object.

Yuuki spoke over him. "Don't. I think we both know it's true."  
He frowned but didn't say anything more on the topic. Across the room, Rose was talking to a group of women. She was completely open with them. They were not with her. She was the girl who had a child before she was married. The one who got drunk at the Black and White ball. She was taboo.

But she wasn't. The upper classes might think that having a child out of wedlock is the worst thing one can do; but that's to them. To Rose, it was a blessing. She had a little boy who loved her as much as she loved him. And a finance who had stuck around to love them both. She made her mistakes and learnt. And was still learning. She was Rose. She was beautiful, talented and exuberant. Everything that society said should be loved. But she had been lost. And would be to the world until they found her as her. As the person with choices and outcomes. And a life.

"You're right." Kyoya said, holding Yuuki steadily by the waist. "It's funny how life turns out."  
"It is.""  
"Though, funny is not the word I would have used."  
"What would you have used?"  
"Inimitable."

"Each to their own."  
The man thought a moment and smiled smugly. "Does that mean you are my own?"  
Yuuki frowned. "To a certain extent."  
"To what extent?"  
"To..." Pause. "The full length."  
"I thought so."  
"Well...I only know because that's what it's like for you." She grinned.

Kyoya didn't like the term 'owned'. That didn't work. She was not an accessory. And he was not an object. "Hm."  
"Hm indeed." His wife laughed sweetly.

"Oh my gosh. This song." Yuuki dropped her forehead in a play of dismay as the music changed.

"What?"  
"Overplayed."  
"You want to stop dancing?"  
"No." She replied stubbornly. "_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone..."_ She mocked slightly. Yuuki did like Taylor Swift. To a certain extent. She did not like continuous repeats.

"Was that a insinuation?"

"I'll insinuation your face." She had no idea what it meant.

"Hint."  
"Oh. Right." Pause. "That did sound a little suspect, didn't it?"  
"Mm."

"Listen. Slow music."

"You're powers of observation never cease to amaze me."  
The beat instantly picked up. "_I love you and that's all I really know." _Yuuki said it in an amused manner. But she meant it in another.

Kyoya kissed her in public. Other couples smiled slightly at their youth. But they were not youth. They were nothing to time. They just were. And that's why the smiles turned sweet. They'd seen what people strived for, but got lost on their way to it. Distracted. Unbalanced.

They hadn't.

-

Kain was fast asleep when the couple got home. Yuuki woke him up to a conscious state so she could put him in his pyjamas. Her son's sleeping clothes were the coolest. The girl had a fetish for the children's section. They got the greatest clothing. Kain had a pair of grandpa pants, pinstriped with navy and white. His shirt had a sailor's collar printed into the plain cut and an anchor in the bottom corner. He looked like a mascot for the Navy.

The boy grumbled as his mother tucked him in.

"I know baby. It's late. Sleep okay?"

"Ma?" Came the sleepy voice.

"Mm?"  
"What time is it?"  
She smiled. "You beat your old record. It's eleven thirty." They'd left early to get their child home.

"Really?"  
"Yes baby. But go to sleep. You'll have an early night tomorrow, okay?"  
"Okay."

"Good boy." She kissed his forehead and let him drift off.

Yuuki slipped into the hallway, her shoes lay dejected by the front door. The remnants of a party. A sign of a good time. Upstairs though, Kyoya's shoes were happily set in their place in the closet. His jacket was neatly on the chair. A maid would come and fetch it the next day and take it to dry cleaning. She would take Yuuki's dress; if the girl remembered to put it where it was supposed to go.

"You know, that's depressing."

"What?" Kyoya was undoing his tie.

"You're so...ordered."  
"You're so spontaneous."  
"Who gets more done?"  
"Well...that depends." He knew what she meant though. "We're different. Do not envy thy neighbour."  
"Do not quote the commandments unto me." Came the stubborn reply from the wardrobe.

The man laughed. "Is Kain asleep?"  
"Like you at four in the morning."

"That far gone?"  
"Further, if it's possible."

"It's not. But I understand what you mean."

Yuuki smiled and pulled a sweater over her head. "Black?"  
"No." Kyoya replied flatly.

His wife stared at the clothes. "Red?"

Sigh. "Do I have a choice?"  
"Not really." Yuuki appeared in a maroon sweater after having pulled the black one off.

Her husband shook his head. She just smiled deviously and put her dress over his jacket.

The girl went to the dresser and picked up a brush and ran it through her hair. "Will I ever go grey?"  
"Bit early to be thinking about it."  
"Is it?"  
Pause. "You will if you don't dye your hair."  
"Do you want me to dye it when it inevitably happens then? She looked at him in the mirror.

"No." Kyoya pushed his glasses up slightly. "You can't get your colour out of a bottle."  
"We're going to get old, Kyoya. Not...us. But our bodies."  
"Yuuki, you're still in the prime of your life."  
"I know..but. It's scary."  
"Scary?"  
"Well...sort of. Think about it. I won't look like this forever."  
"You will to me."

Yuuki looked at him. It was true for her too. He would always look as he did in that moment. Young and healthy and in love. Always in love. The girl smiled demurely. "Me thinks...you're right."  
"I think that was very grammatically incorrect of you."

"Yeah..."  
"Yes."  
"Whatever." Pause. "We can't stop time, but we can enjoy it."  
"It's impossible not to."  
"Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried to slam a revolving door."

Amused pause. "Personal experience?"  
"Yes..." Her expression was whimsical for a moment. "But, what you say is impossible, is."  
"I know."  
"Of course you do. Like I said; ageless."

"Believe yourself then."  
"I believe you."  
"And I told you that you were ageless. Believe me."

"Okay."  
"Okay?"  
She glanced at her hands. To him, their skin would always be smooth. To her, his would always be too. That's what true love was. Accepting age and doing it together. But never ageing to the other, or to one's self. Not in their world. Not that of the world. Their place was eternal. It had no time. No end. No beginning. It just was. "Yeah."  
"Ye..."  
"Whatever." Yuuki said sharply, affably, laughing. Like a bell on Christmas morning.

Kyoya's lips played upwards. They had a way of discussing something that worried the other and then turning it into something that was more than a worry. It became a riddle to work out. Something that was more than a task, something deeper.

Yuuki finished untangling her hair and set the brush down. She crossed the room to her husband and slid her arms under his from behind. He'd just turned to set his glasses on the bedside table and smiled when he felt her kiss the back of his neck. Her gift. Her blessing. Her life. So warm and welcome and timeless. Unending. Ceaseless.

He turned around and captured her in his arms. And didn't let go. Like secrets, love was the hardest thing to keep from her. And both he wanted her to know. Which is what making love was. Their secrets. Them. Not a single person. But a single entity. For

-

_You are the reason that I breathe  
You are the reason that I still believe  
You are my destiny_

_Catch me, catch me, catch me, come and catch me,  
I know you can save me, come and save me,  
I need you now.  
I am yours forever, yes, forever,  
I will follow anywhere in anyway,  
Never gonna let go._

I can feel you  
Rushing through my veins,  
There's an notion in my heart,  
I will never be the same.

You are the reason that I breathe  
You are the reason that I still believe  
You are my destiny

_(Jai Ho (my destiny), Pussy Cat Dolls)_

_-_

Kain's first day of school was a melancholy occasion. Yuuki came in from her ride that morning and sat on the end of the bed. Her son hadn't woken up yet. Kyoya had told him about school, and he'd gotten so excited that he'd gone to bed in his uniform and promised to get as much sleep as possible to be amazing for his first day.

There was a mumble from the top of the bed.

The girl petted her husband's foot. "You too."  
"Did you fall?"  
"No."  
"Okay."

Silence.

"Kyoya?"  
Mumble.

"Does he have to go to school?"  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
"Why do you think?"  
"Can't you teach him?"  
"I have to go to work."  
"Where do I go?" Pause. "Take a sick day."  
"For the rest of the year?"  
"Yes. And the year after that."  
Kyoya's head appeared above the covers. "What time is it?"  
"Its six thirty."  
He groaned and pulled the covers back up.

Yuuki laughed softly and took her riding jacket off. "I don't want him to go to school. I won't have him. I won't have you. I'll get to sit at home all day. And talk to Suki. And Haruhi."  
"And write."  
"And...write." The girl ran a hand through her hair. "I can't write. I finished writing. It's gone." She'd sent it the day before. "What in the world am I supposed to do? I can't go back to normal life."  
"Do you want to?"

Thoughtful pause. "No. I liked that life. But I can't go back to it. It was good for the time."  
"Okay."

Silence.

"Yuuki?"  
"Mm?"  
"You can do some things the same. This isn't the end of everything you knew. Just like having Kain didn't end your life. It was basically the same. With minor adjustments."  
Yuuki smiled slightly and folded the covers back so his feet were sticking out before heading to the shower. The weather loved bare skin. It was getting cold again. Before she closed the door, Yuuki heard her husband make a noise of frustration. He was fine though when she crawled back beside him.

"No objections?"  
"Do that again and I will..."  
"What? Press your toes against me? You forget that my feet don't reach that far. You lose. Being short rocks in winter."

Mumble. He pulled her closer. She was warm. She was also the only Ootori who was good at waking up in the morning.

Yuuki hugged her husband. Her son was going to go to school. He was growing up. Just like she'd grown up. It was inevitable. When mothers said that their sons would always be their little boy, they did mean it. Kain would always be her little boy. Always. No matter how old he got. Just like how she would always be the Yuuki Kyoya had met, and he would be the man who tried to lease her horse. The one she'd eventually fallen in love with. Joyously in love with. Like her son.

There was a curt knock at the door before it flew open. Kain flew into the room and jumped on the couple.

"Mom! Dad! We're going to be late! Let's go!"

Kyoya grabbed his son under the arms and pulled him down between himself and Yuuki. He was still half asleep, so it was like watching a zombie rise from the grave and lay back down again with its victim.

"No!" Their son wriggled. "We're going to be late."  
His mother waited until he stopped writing. "Shh. Kain, school starts at eight-thirty. What time is it now?"  
"Its seven. And you have to get up and eat and pack your bag and drive..."  
"Mommy and daddy went to Ouran. We know how long it takes to get ready. We've done it before."  
Kain stared. "You went to Ouran?"  
"Yes. We both went to Ouran."

"Is it good?"  
Kyoya blinked hard and put his glasses on. "Would we send you somewhere that wasn't good?"  
"No..." He was like his mother in mannerisms, like his father in complete action. The thought pattern was somewhere in the middle. Which was a dangerous thing.

"Kenji will be there today as well. Will you sit with him?" Yuuki propped herself onto her elbow.

"Am I allowed to?" As excited as Kain was about school, he was scared as well.

"Yes. Kenji is your friend."  
"But he's older."  
"So? Dad's older than me and I'm his friend."  
"That doesn't count."  
"Why?" Yuuki glanced at her husband as he leant against the headboard. He was pushing his glasses higher and trying to wake up at the same time. It was a little uncoordinated. Slightly amusing.  
"Because." Their son pouted. "You're married."  
"So?"

Pause.

Kyoya shook his head, slightly frustrated. "I had friends who were older and younger than I was."

"Really?" Kain was always awed at his father.

"Really." The man smiled at him.

Pause. "Dad?"  
"Mm?"  
"What will mom do when I'm not here and you're not here? Can she look after herself?"  
Yuuki laughed. "Mom's going to be fine."  
"Really?"  
"I'll miss you." She sat up and pulled him onto her lap. The girl brushed his hair out of his eyes. Onyx eyes. Like his dad's. "And I'll come get you at one."  
"Okay." He did what his mother did when she was nervous. He diverted the attention away.

"Okay?"  
"Yes." The boy beamed. "Will I be smart enough?"  
"You're plenty smart enough." She kissed him on the nose. "Dad and I taught you everything you need to know."  
"And probably more." Kyoya said smugly as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. He turned lethargically and petted his son's head. "You're my son."

Kain beamed even brighter. He was proud he was an Ootori.

Yuuki bounced him lightly. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" She knew the teachers would ask.

"A CAR!" Her son exclaimed happily.

"A car?" Pause. "Why a car?"  
"Because, I can go fast."  
"You have to drink petrol."  
"What's that?"  
"Its what cars drink when their hungry."  
"Is it yummy?"  
"It looks like the medicine you had to take when you were littler. Remember?"  
Kain pulled a face and shook his head. "I don't want to be a car."  
"Well. What was your second choice?"  
"I want to be just like dad."  
"Really?"  
He nodded. "I want to drive and carry a briefcase and tell people what to do."  
Yuuki laughed. "Sounds good to me. You want to be the heir?"  
"Yes."  
"How much?"  
"THIS MUCH!" Kain stretched his arms as wide as he could.

"How much do you want to be a car?"  
After the petrol realisation, the distance between his fingertips dropped slightly. "This much."  
"Sure?"  
They dropped a little more.

"Better." Yuuki kissed his forehead and set her feet on the floor. "What do you want for breakfast?"  
"Pancakes."  
"What do you want for breakfast that mommy can make?" Motherhood did not make her a cook. It just made sure the cook was hired for more days.

"Cereal?" He tested.

"Mommy can make that." She smiled and set him on the ground. "Want to go get everything ready?"

Kain nodded and rushed off.

Yuuki went to find her husband in the walk in robe. She leant on the door frame and pouted.

Kyoya turned around. "Mile-stones."

"I wish they were mete-stones."

He smiled. "Maternal feelings?"  
"Maternal feelings." She walked close to him and leant her weight against his chest. Her arms stubbornly across her chest. "Life keeps going on when I want it to stay still."  
"Life keeps moving because it knows that you'll miss out if it stays still."  
"But I like it."  
"You'll like the future even better."  
"Which one?"  
"The future of us."  
Yuuki smiled. Eternity began before they did. They began before they did. "I like that."  
"Darling. You have to go to the publishers today and design a book cover."  
"Really?"  
He waved his phone as he slid it into his pocket. It was difficult with her leaning on him, but the effect managed to be conveyed.

"You have a planner?"  
"Yes."  
"Mine's a little diary thing with pages sticking out all over the place."  
"And it's very you."  
"It's messy."  
"But ordered."

"Yay for successful clutter."

"What are you wearing?"  
"Track pants and a t-shirt."  
"No. I meant today."  
"Oh. Right." Yuuki sniffed and stood up straight. "I'm taking my kid to school. What do I wear? Stepford or Wisteria?"  
Kyoya smiled and stepped back so he could finish the job she had interrupted. Buttoning one's shirt.

"I'm going...Tiffany." Yuuki grabbed a sky blue long sleeved shirt with a pale blue chiffon overlay. She paused a moment and grabbed a white skirt. Then realised she'd need a jacket.

Her husband reached past her and handed her a cream one.

"Ah." She took it from him. "I forgot I had this."  
"Is that because you have another just like it?"  
"Probably."

He raised an eyebrow at her.  
"I'm a girl." She defended herself, pulling her shirt over her head. "I have rights."  
"To my credit card."  
"It was mine."  
"Really?" His tone was light.

"Joint account." Yuuki handed him a tie and grabbed herself a pair shoes for herself at the same time.

"Mm."

Pause. "He's going to school...."  
Kyoya grabbed her hand to stop his wife breaking the zip on her skirt. "He's growing up."  
"Does that make you sad?"  
"No. That makes me happy. It means we're doing it right."  
She stared and shrugged nonchalantly. "But..." Yuuki pulled the offending fabric out of the way of the zip and did it up.  
"Uhuh."

"I'll miss you both."  
"You can come visit me."  
"But you're not Kain." She said obdurately.

"No. But Kain is half of me."  
Yuuki pulled her shoes on, balancing with a hand on his shoulder. "Can I just keep you both at home?"  
"We're always with you."  
"Generic." Pause. "He's going to school. To school. Kain, my son, is..."  
"Going to school." Kyoya finished. "I know. I know it's dreadfully exciting and devastating, but try to focus on the former."  
"I'm trying." She wined lightly.

"Let's just hope he has my wit with his friends. Not yours." Kyoya said with a haughty smile as he walked through their room.  
"What does that mean?" Yuuki followed curiously.

"Do we want him to find the love of his life on the first day?"  
"No...I don't want him to love anyone else." She said stubbornly. "Wait...why..."  
"Because, she's the only one who would ever understand him."  
"Oh." Pause. "Hey!" She cried playfully as her husband descended the stairs. "That's harsh."  
"Not from me it's not." He was the one who understood her. "Come feed your son."  
An hour later they were standing in a throng of other parents. Yuuki held her son's hand tightly until it was time for him to go to his very first formal class.

Kyoya knelt in front of Kain. "Who are you?"  
"An Ootori." He said honourably. Proudly.  
"And that means?"  
"If anyone is mean to me, I can call dad."  
"Good boy." The man kissed his son on the head.

Yuuki scowled at him. They would talk about that. "Kain, no one is going to be mean to you. You just do your best, okay? We're proud of you."

He nodded.

"You excited?"  
Nodding.

"Scared?"  
Nodding.

"Miss me?" Yuuki held her arms out.

The little boy flung himself into them. "Bye mama. I'll be good. You'll come get me at one?"  
"Promise, baby." She pressed the tip of his nose with her forefinger.

"Dad?"  
"I'll be here." Work or his son's first day. When he was at Ouran, it was an easy decision. Work before humans. But he'd become human. And the roles were reversed.

The parents watched as their son ran with his oversized schoolbag and disappeared into a classroom. Kyoya pulled Yuuki into his side and they stood and stared for a melancholy moment.

A few minutes later, they were wandering the old corridors.

They visited the third music room and stood in the middle. It was empty. But not forgotten. It was almost as if the tables and couches would reappear and Tamaki would bounce around delighting young women. It was as if it was about to happen in a few minutes. Nothing had been left behind. It was all with them.

They then went to the balcony beside the Great Hall. The one that had been covered in snow. The one they'd begun to fall on. The one they'd broken on.

"Remember this?" Yuuki said, staring over the garden below.

"I don't think I'll ever forget."  
"Last time we were here...I'm sorry."  
"I am too."  
The girl turned to him. "I don't care that I'm not sixteen anymore. I don't care. It's the same. We were always the same, weren't we? Right from the beginning."

"Of course."

"That was rhetorical. You're ruining my little moment here."  
"Sorry."  
Pause. "No. It's gone." She frowned.

Her husband slid his hands around her waist and stood behind her as they stood. Just stood. And remembered.

"Do you remember what I told you?"  
"When?" Yuuki turned her head slightly to him.

"The night you left."  
"I remember quite vividly what I told you."

_Kyoya closed his eyes in the dark. "I don't hate you. Quite the opposite. Yuuki, I never expected to fall in love with you, but I did."_

_He had taken his walls down again. Ripped himself open to her in a way that couldn't be an act. The part of their relationship that couldn't have been manipulated for capitalist merit. _

"_I don't want anyone else to kiss you. I don't want anyone else to hold you. I don't want you to love anyone else. I'm scared because, I don't want anyone to take my place."_

Yuuki twisted around to face him. "No one's ever going to take your place."  
Kyoya pressed his forehead against the top of her head. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But I'm glad it did."  
"Me too."  
No one means to fall in love. It just happens. Anyone who goes out with the expectation of falling in love won't find what Yuuki and Kyoya found. It was unexpected. And so perfect. Two lost souls, not knowing they were so until they found each other and found themselves.

The man slid his fingers below her chin and lifted her face to his.

_Kyoya traced his thumb in a line across the front of her throat before settling just below her jaw where the other fingers rested below. She exhaled and felt her own breath wash of Kyoya's face and mix with his before rushing back against her. His mouth lingered just above hers. Kyoya ran his nose down the side of her own and held her ever so slightly tighter. Yuuki closed her eyes; a whole colony of butterflies had hatched in her stomach._

_Kyoya kissed her. It was soft, lingering and sweet. His fingers moved slightly behind her neck as he pulled himself to linger above her, just as he had moments before. Yuuki opened her eyes and found herself staring into Kyoya's, neither of them broke the gaze. She could still feel him breathing on her, the warmth spilling from her face and dripping down her neck._

He smelled like peppermints.

_Yuuki extended her neck the short distance and pressed her lips to his once again. Kyoya felt her relax against him. _

She smelled like white rose and sandalwood.

Soon their story would open a new chapter.

And it would be lived to its fullest. It would be beautiful. Perpetual. Endless. Captivating. Them.

And then it would end.

And another would begin.

And they would continue to exist into eternity.

Each moment as exciting as the one before. Just different. It maintained the same frequency of love. It maintained the same perception of beauty. To love another and see them as them because they see you for you. To love imperfections because they are the cause of perfection.

Their life was starting school. Starting where they had begun. Starting where they had found the threads of life they didn't know existed; that existed solely for the other. Starting where they had found themselves and known that there would be no other.

Soon they would tell him their story.

---------

_Soon. __One more chapter. __One more._

_Please let me know what you thought._

_Your opinion is much appreciated. And needed at times._

_Thank you so much for reading._

_Blessings,_

_-pp_


	42. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

_---_

_If to distant lands I scatter, If I sail to farthest seas  
Would you find and firm and gather 'til I only dwell in Thee?  
If I flee from greenest pastures, would you leave to look for me?  
Forfeit glory to come after, 'Til I only dwell in Thee_

_If my heart has one ambition, if my soul one goal to seek  
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee  
That I only dwell in Thee  
'Til I only dwell in Thee_

_(Hymn, Brooke Fraser)_

_---_

It's funny how the days turn to weeks. And the weeks into months. The months into years. It's funny how it all feels like yesterday. Like one, long stretched out moment. One perfect moment. A flawed, tangible, perfection. It's funny how life never stops. It never stops when you want to stay in a moment. But it keeps moving, and lets you look back on that moment. And touch it. And breath it. And hear it thudding through your mind.

Yuuki and Kyoya spent every spare moment together. Just after they'd dropped their son at school. Just after he's dropped off to sleep. Just before he woke up. But they never left him. Ever. Kain was so much a part of them it was as if he was in every single moment of their lives. When he was with them, it was as if they were unified completely. Two whole entities that became one. One that loved, adored and cherished; a miracle that could smile and run and fall over. A gift that had no end.

"Good night baby." Yuuki leant over Kain as he lay in bed.

"Ma?" The boy took his mother's hand from where it rested beside him.  
"Yes?"

"Can I stay up late tomorrow?" Their voices were low. Hushed. Sweet like summer.

"What day is tomorrow?"  
"It's Friday." He knew that she knew. But he was glad she had asked. Given him the chance to make a point.

"Do you want to have your riding lesson in the afternoon before we go to the Suoh's?"  
Slight, sleepy nodding.

"Okay baby, we'll see."  
Kain let her fingers go free from his grip. "Can you send dad in to say goodnight?"  
"Sure, Kain. You go to sleep though."  
"Okay."  
"Okay." She kissed his forehead. "Sleep sweet dear."  
"You to ma."  
Yuuki smiled and went to the door. She paused and glanced back. Kain was waiting. He wouldn't go to sleep until she got Kyoya. The boy's father was his hero. Superman and Batman in the same breath. A superhero without superpowers. Just a man. An extraordinary man.

The girl slipped into the house and through to the study. "Kyoya?"  
"Mm?" He paused his typing and glanced up. The light of the lap glinted off his glasses.

"Kain is waiting for you to say goodnight."

"Okay." The man paused. Stared at the screen. Stood and pushed his glasses up. Work or play? Work or play? Inevitably, it came down to what he would work the hardest for.

Yuuki hugged him softly. "You tired?"  
"Mm."  
His wife kissed the underside of his jaw. "Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"For making time." His job meant a lot to him. But his family meant more.

"It's a pleasure." The man smiled down tenderly.

Yuuki pressed her lips to the corner of his and unwrapped herself so that he could settle Kain for the night. Kyoya had a lot of work to do. It was the end of the financial year. And thus, the end of another successful stint for the Ootori group. One that had to be recorded. Checked. Tax deductable and full of profit. It also had to be improved for next season. Things were crazy. Hectic. Stressful. But there were moments. Delicate moments. Where they weren't. Where an adoring frame would tie to another. When a son wanted to say goodnight. Moments where the world ceased to exist as it did to the universe, and existed entirely as they saw it. It was still the world, with all its blemishes and bitterness, but it was a perfect world. Where they existed. Together.

Kyoya went to his son and found him sitting up groggily, waiting for him.

"Dad?" Kain rubbed his eye with the back of his hand.

"Hello."His tone was quiet. Warm. "I hear you need to go to sleep?"  
Sleepy nodding. "Yeah. But I wanted to say goodnight." He held his arms out.

His father hugged him back steadily. "Goodnight Kain."

"Goodnight dad."  
Kyoya brushed the hair back away from his son's face. "Kain?"  
"Mm."  
"I need you to think about something."  
"Okay."  
"You have a long time yet. But I need you to think about whether you want to be the heir to the Ootori group, okay?" He'd always wanted it, but he knew why others wouldn't.

"How long?"  
"A long time." He kissed his son on the forehead. He had until his father passed on. "You let me know though? Okay? You watch and learn and try your best, and if, at the end, you want it. Tell me." He could give his son anything. He could provide him with choice. The man was tired, stressed and worn and to place that knowingly on another, especially one you loved, would be unbearable. Not unless they had chosen it for the benefits that outweighed the cons and made his job worthwhile.  
"Okay." Kain said, his voice drawn. He didn't know that his father was doing something difficult. Giving him the option to move from something he had worked so hard to achieve.

"Love you Pa." The boy lay back down and pulled his covers up. He smiled jadedly from his pillow.

"Love you Kain." His father tucked him into bed and headed for the door. Before he closed it, he looked back on the sleeping form. Kain was smiling ever so slightly. Just like Yuuki did when she was asleep.

The girl was sitting in his chair when Kyoya re-entered the study. She was one of few that could manage a perfect crossed legged position in a swivel chair. Yuuki was staring at the screen.

"What are you doing?" Her husband came and stood behind her and leant heavily on the back of the seat.

"I'm reading."  
"What?"  
"Whatever you left on the screen." She scrolled down. "What is this?"  
"It's the current developments, past developments and future developments. Measured on a scale to see progression."

"Oh." His wife bent her head back and looked up at him quizzically. "Righto."  
Kyoya smiled smugly down at her. "It's good."  
"No, I can see that." She returned playfully. "It's all good." Yuuki hit the _save_ button and closed the window.

"I need to work on that."  
"Not now." She swivelled the chair from his grip and turned to face him. "You've been doing this _all_ day, and_ all _yesterday. And now you have tired eyes." The girl lifted a gentle finger to his face and traced the skin just below the bottom rim of his glasses, her expression caring.

Kyoya put his hands on the chair arms and leant very close to her. A large majority of the world would have gone into cardiac arrest at such an encounter after telling an Ootori 'no.' Yuuki just grinned and closed her eyes irreverently as her husband kissed her forehead.

"You know," He said, hovering centimetres from her. "Between you and Kain, I'm going to get nothing done this evening."  
"No." His wife shook her head. "Not work wise." There had been getting home, problems with homework, dinner, dessert, coffee and then an hour before Kain went to bed. Evenings were for them, not for work.

"Hm."  
"Hm." Yuuki replied. Pause. "Is your webcam on?"  
Kyoya laughed and kissed her. A minute later, the computer was off as a precaution. There is something about joy that wipes away weariness; both of the soul and mind. Something about it that makes a person young again. Which is why Yuuki and Kyoya never aged. They never would age. As long as they had each other.

Late that night though, deep under the covers, Yuuki stirred.

"Kyoya?" She said softly.

Her husband was idly playing with the hair that spilled onto her shoulder. A white, bare, pure shoulder. "Mm?"

"I know that it's a long way away, but...what do we do when one of us is left behind?"  
"What do you mean, 'left behind'?" His tone was steady.

"I mean, what if you become a widower?" She wouldn't be a widow. Not for long. "What would you do without _us_?"  
"Yuuki, I'll never be a widower."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"

He ran his nose down hers. "You'll never be a widow."  
"I don't follow you." Yuuki rested her fingers against his collarbone.

"You never have followed me." Her husband laughed mutedly. "You never will, nor I you." He turned his head sideways, his chin pressed against her forehead. "We said eternity, right?"  
"Yes."  
"So, we'll do that together."  
"What about Kain?"

Kyoya moved his fingers down her arm and back up again to her shoulder. "Kain is like me."  
Yuuki closed her eyes and rested with the idea. "Kain is like you in that, he was never dependant on his parents?"  
"He is his parents Yuuki, with or without us. He will always have us, not just genetically." Kain would always have them in his mind, in his mannerisms, in his heart. Just like they did for him. Their little miracle. His two blessings.

"It just seems hard...to leave him behind."  
"This is a long time away, Yuuki. We will leave him behind, but we'll take him with us too." They couldn't be apart. Not ever. They would take the piece of him that they always felt. That a parent always felt. And they would keep it so that he could find them. No man would ever have a surer sense of who he was and of where he could find himself.

Yuuki pressed herself against Kyoya. Aligned herself with him. Love is stronger than any ailment of man; even though it can't stop ailments from happening. No matter hard death tries to separate people from love, it cannot. It cannot take away memories. In the end, life is stronger than death. And it lasts longer. Every life tastes death. But no life has to live it. It just has to pause for it. The only time life pauses, is when it officially ends in one place. And that is what love is for. For making an everlasting covenant that would stretch into the farthest reaches of time. And stay there. Proper love. Not fairytale love. Not the sort of Cinderella. There was no 'happily ever after', just ever after.

Just them. Only they could make it happen. Only they could make sure it happened. Only they knew how. And why.

Only they knew them.

-

_There's so much craziness, surrounding me  
There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe  
When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me  
You make it real for me, and I'm running to you baby  
You are the only one who saved me, that's why I've been missing you lately  
Cause you make it real for me_

_You make it real for me_

_(You make it real for me, James Morrison)_

-

It had been a cold, gusty, November afternoon when Kain asked _the_ question.

_The_ question.

The _it_ question.

He was seven and had spent the day with Kenji, who was nine. Aimi had had health science that day. And the three talked. Or, the siblings talked. Kain got confused.

He was sitting on the floor, watching TV innocently when he suddenly broke the bombshell all parents expect but that no parent expects to answer.

Kain simply turned around and said it. "What is sex?"

Yuuki chocked on her tea. Unlike many children, he did not ask 'where do babies come from?', but rather went straight for the jugular of the topic. Straight to the root of a child's confusion as to his parents and not by the sideway of the creation of life.

Kyoya folded his newspaper. "Who taught you that?"  
His son twisted to face his parents. "Aimi said the sex ED people came over. I know ED means education, but I don't know what se..."  
"Ah." His mother put her cup down. "You don't need to know."

"Yuuki." Her husband chided, slightly amused.

"No." She looked at him. "I'm not telling him."  
"I'll tell him."  
"No. He's too young. When I said 'I'm not telling him', I meant _we're_ not telling him." She waved her finger to indicate them both.  
"He's seven."  
"How old were you?"

"How old were you?" Kyoya quipped back.

Thoughtful pause. Awkward memory. Shudder. "Six."

"Then he's fine."  
Kain stared at his parents. "Is it bad?"

Yuuki turned to her son. Her husband laughed quietly to himself as she searched for words. He wasn't going to help. Even though he was the male head of the household.

"Um. Kain." His mother clasped her hands in front of her. "Baby. Uh." Long pause. The girl bit her lip and thought a moment before reaching a conclusion. "You should google it."

At this her husband did laugh out loud.

Yuuki quickly backtracked "No! Wait! Don't google it." She waved a cautionary finger at her son. "Ever." The consequences could be horrifying.

"Um...okay." The boy frowned. "So... what is it?" Kain watched them expectantly.

Kyoya told Yuuki, once again, that he could handle it and watched as she curled into a tight ball on her side of the couch. An uncomfortable, bashful, scarlet ball.

Afterwards, Kain still sat on the floor. Except this time it was as if he'd grown slightly. He looked at the couple. "So...I come from..."  
Yuuki sat up and almost laughed at her son's dismayed face. "Yeah."  
"Yes." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.

"Whatever." She waved him away and gave her full attention to her son. "Kain, dear. Does that make sense?"

"No." The boy shook his head stoutly. "That's awful!"

The girl frowned. "Why?"  
"Because..." He shuddered. "Yuck! Mom!"

"What?" Yuuki leant back and stared at her son. She was ever so slightly amused.  
Kain's eyes were huge. His expression shocked. "Did you really want me _THAT_ much?"

Kyoya laughed and pulled his wife into his side. "Yes we did Kain, yes we did."

And that was how each child became introduced into the true world of adults. How they begin the process of growing up. And it was awkward. Misunderstood. Somewhat gauche. But in the real world, real world knowledge was needed. And sadly enough, the real world was getting younger and younger each time around. But if Kain could learn to see the perceptions of the world through his parents eyes, then maybe he would be alright. Maybe he would see the world, but as his own world. As a place where things happened because they were part of a story, not because they were part of terror or ugliness. But because that was how life worked. Because sex was not sex, it was making love. Because when humans were human, error occurred. But when humans were mechanical, life didn't. It was about finding the equilibrium. Finding the meaning; even in an event who's meaning had got entirely lost, and whose merit had been confused to the world.

But not to them.

Never to them.

Everything that had worth was obvious.

And everything that they treasured was theirs. Hidden. Obvious to them. The world trough their eyes. But maybe not someone else's.

Because the world through the eyes of another, is a totally different world.

The world through the eyes of a lover, is a totally unique world.

-

Kain grew up to become very much like his father. He studied exceptionally hard and topped his classes. He participated in school activities. He built up a private empire in commerce, with his father's help, and would one day join it to the Ootori Empire.

He had his mothers hair colour, and her gentle wave. He had his father's eyes, unhindered by glasses but cold and quick on circumstance, soft and smooth in private. Like glassed onyx. He stood tall, straight, proper. He spoke like a gentleman, and in three languages. English, French and Japanese. He rode horses and had a short scar under his chin from a particularly spectacular fall.

There were now two horses in the paddock. An aged, proud, bay and a spectacular grey Warmblood. Zero spent much of his time in pasture. His owner rode her son's horse and spent an hour a day talking to her old friend while Kain rode under her guidance and Tachi's sharp eye.

"Hey old bean." Yuuki ran her fingers over his nose one morning. "What's happening?"  
Zero nuzzled into her neck, his ears pricked forward.

The girl laughed. She was still a girl. And she still laughed. "Yes. I know. Wait." She dug into her jeans and pulled out a box of sugar cubes. "Mm. I know what you want for breakfast. You're like Kain when he was five."  
"That was ten years ago!" The boy thundered past on his horse, smiling cheekily at her. His voice was deep. Baritone. Pleasant. He was warming his horse down.

"Oi. Heels down. Gulliver's to headstrong for you." She called back.

"For me?" Kain called over his shoulder and laughed. "What about you?"  
"Don't get smart young man. It's muddy. Make sure his footing is right."  
He waved dismissively at her. He didn't compete. He rode for the fun of it. For the fitness. In his spare time, Kain played basketball and rode horses. He also read extensively. Like his father and mother.

Yuuki turned back to her old friend. "It's funny hey? How he is. Like me a bit huh? Cocky like his father though."

Zero snorted.

"Yeah. I knew you'd like that." Pause. "Hey boy. I'll be seeing you, hey?"

The horse pressed his head into her chest. The girl wrapped her arms around his head and felt him tug back. His ears pricked forward and he nickered happily. He won. As per usual.

"Good boy." Yuuki ran a hand down his face. "You're a good boy." She kissed the white on his face. "You're my kindred spirit, huh?" She blew into a nostril. "I love you Zero. Thank you, so much."  
The horse gently breathed against her palm. His head turned when the grey Warmblood burst into the paddock and danced around happily, coming to greet him.

"Okay boy. I can see. Bye."  
Zero snorted goodbye and trotted off to his new friend.

Kain wrapped an arm around his mothers shoulder. "Ready to go wake dad up?"  
Yuuki smiled. "No. He'll wake himself up."

"How soon?"

"Soon." His mother smiled and pinched her son.

There was a pause. "Ah. Mother, your boots are muddy. You cannot go into the house like that."  
"That is why we take them off at the door."  
"There is no fun in that." He had her mischievous side.

"Kain? What?" Yuuki's eyes widened in realisation. "No." She began to pull away. "Don't you dare. I will ground yo..."  
Her protest turned into a small cry of surprise as her son swept her off her feet and over his shoulder. "You're such a little lady." He said smugly.

"Oi! Let me down!" The girl cried and smacked his back. "Kain. This instant!" Pause. "NOW!"

Her son was laughing.

"Stop laughing."

He continued.  
"Stop it or I will have your head."  
"But you're so close to it."

"Don't get smug with me. You might be strong but oh my gosh you are pig headed."  
"Who's gene is that?"

Pause. "Both."  
"Yes. I thought as much." Kain opened the porch door, his mother still slung over his shoulder.

Tachi was sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee. He'd come up as his young student warmed down. "Ah. Mail."

"Ahahaha. Not funny." Yuuki said as her son turned to close the door.

"You need to rein him in...In a manner of speaking." Pause. "You'd think you'd have learnt by now dear." The man said flatly. And then burst out laughing. "How many times is that this week?"  
"Three." Kain said proudly, carrying the woman through the kitchen. It was a game he and Tachi played. An odd, twisted, boy game that made no sense except to those playing it.

"You're getting strong!" Tachi called down the hall.

"No I'm not!" The boy cried back. His mother did not weigh much. And he never let her forget it.

Yuuki smacked him in the back. Being a piece of luggage was a popular pastime ever since her son had worked out that he was strong and fit and healthy. And ever so slightly haughty and roguish beneath his hard work ethic and cool demeanour. "You're a brute."  
"And dad needs to wake up. It's late." They'd spent a long time in the arena that morning.

"It's Saturday. He can sleep." The girl lowered her voice as they reached her bedroom. "Shh..."  
"DAD!" Kain cried victoriously as he opened the door. "I come with gifts!"

Kyoya didn't respond.

"Father. Dearest father." The young man said smugly. "It's a wonderful gift."  
There was a growl from under the covers.

Kain set his mother down on the end of the bed. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "That's not funny."

"It is and you know it."  
"I carried you around. And now..."  
"Role reversal!" Her son clapped. His eyes shone happily. His mother knew he was just playing. She hadn't been entirely displeased. Just amused to the point where it was annoying.

"Shut...up...." Came the grumble from the top of the bed.

"Ah." Kain jumped onto the empty side of the bed and pulled the covers off his father's shoulder. "Its eight dear father. The sun has long been up to say hello."  
Mumble.

"So has ma. She's been up a while. Think about that. She's been awake, you haven't." His son pointed out. "Dad. Tamaki would have said 'Morning person happy!' So...UP!"

"If you are morning happy right now, then I don't want to be." Came the snark reply. The Host Club still met weekly. Were still friends. The twins had married and learnt how to extend sibling love into more. Hunny and Mori were constant; they did not need to marry to be as happy as their friends.

Yuuki smiled and squeezed her husband's foot. "He spends too much time with Tamaki and Kenji."  
Her son laughed. "They're both morning people."  
"And utterly annoying." Mumble. The Suoh younger had turned out as miniature of Suoh older. Only slightly less exuberant.

"They taught me the way of the Host Club."  
"You need to learn your own way." Said his mother sweetly.  
"You need to get out of the host club." Kyoya said, sitting up groggily.

"Dad," Kain leant on his elbow and affectionately looked at his father. "You were in the host club. I'm learning through it."  
"Learning what?" Slightly cocky.  
Kain listlessly picked at the covers."What did you learn?"  
Kyoya made no reply.

His son petted his father's head lovingly and stood up. "I told you dad, I want the company. I'll take it and best it. So don't worry about stress. I love it, just like you."  
"Best it?"  
"Of course. You did from your father. Let's make it tradition."  
Yuuki pulled her boots off and threw them at the young man. "Get out." She hissed playfully.

Kain raised his hands defensively. She'd missed. "Alright. Alright. Sorry."  
"No you're not."  
"No, I'm not. But it makes you feel better." He kissed his mother happily on the cheek. "Love you both."  
"Uhuh." She waved him away.

When the door was shut, Kyoya collapsed back down onto his pillow. "He's not hanging out with Tamaki anymore."  
"No. He's just happy because it's the weekend." Yuuki crawled up beside him. "I was like that."  
"You were not."  
"Okay, no. I wasn't. But he gets that from me."  
"No. He gets that from Tamaki." His stand in uncle. One of many.  
"You never got anything from Tamaki."  
Mumble.

"He and Kenji are great friends. Like you and Tamaki had been. Kain isn't you though. He's just him. And he's happy. And smart. And healthy..."  
"And hauls you around the house."  
Yuuki laughed softly. "That's just him being playful."  
"My left foot." Her husband said groggily.

"You love him." She said smugly.

"I do." Kyoya pulled her close to him.

"I love him."  
"Mm."  
"He's so cool." Yuuki smiled into her husband chest.

She smelled like roses. And fresh straw. "I love you." The man said quietly, slipping back into sleep.

"Mm." His wife turned her head up and kissed him sweetly. "I love you too." He still smelled as he always had. Still spoke in the same way. He was still Kyoya. And they still fell asleep together when she came in every morning. To wake up in each other every day.

Time did not change the capacity in which people loved. People changed that. People changed to adapt. If they did it together, then their capacity did not change. It altered for the time. But it altered together. And they stayed together.

Yuuki loved her husband. And he loved her. And together, they loved their son. And he loved them. And his mother. And his father.

It was a circle that had no beginning and no end. That just was. That always had been. And always would be.

For all eternity. Forever and a day.

-

_I'm seeing so much clearer looking through your eyes  
I could never find a safer place even if I tried  
All the times I've needed you, you've never left my side  
I'm clinging to your every word  
Don't ever let me go  
You'll never let me go_

_(Wrapped in your arms, Fireflight)_

_-_

The day Kain graduated was the day Yuuki and Kyoya returned to the balcony. Their balcony. And looked over the gardens again. The trees were bigger. The grass just as green. It was early evening and the first few stars had come out to play.

"He's amazing. Like you." Yuuki turned to Kyoya. There was a party inside. It was muted by the glass. "Like me?"

"Like you. Graduates an heir to the biggest Empire in Japan. Has wonderful friends. Loves what he does. And can move forward without dropping everything that was behind."

"I kept the baggage though."  
"Mm. So did I."

Kyoya stood beside her on the balcony. "It all worked out as it should have."  
"What?" His wife glanced at him happily. "A son with a passion for your passions. Who is smart. Top of his classes. Fit. Athletic. Wonderful. Amazing?"  
"Exactly." Came the smug reply.

"We were blessed. Not for a long time. But we were."

There was a long silence. Like those in the beginning. Long, comfortable silences. Ones of understanding and thought.

"What are you thinking?" Kyoya said smoothly.

"I'm thinking that it would have been nice to have had another."  
"Another child?"

"Yes." She turned to him. "Kain lived his whole life as a single child."  
"Did he?"  
Yuuki thought and then smiled softly. "No. I guess not." He'd lived his whole life with everything he wanted. Everything the loved. And he learned to fight. And hurt. And get through it all for the good at the end. At the very end.

"Things turned out the best. We are some of the very few who can say that."  
"If I hadn't come to Ouran, none of this would have happened."

"If you hadn't fallen off your horse."  
"Or tripped on the ice." Yuuki glanced down at the gardens. Everything that had happened, every bad thing, every good thing; had brought her to him. Closer to him. "I would never have reached here."

"No." Kyoya said softly. "Neither would I." Like geese, they flew together. To help the other. No one dropped back. No one got left behind. No one was inhibited.

There was another long silence.

Yuuki hugged her husband. "It's another chapter over. Another one. Kyoya, we're getting old."

Her husband rubbed her back. "Darling, you and I will never get old. Can't you understand that?"  
She shook her head. "Remember our graduation?" She laughed. "I was so mad at you. So upset. I was so lost and hurt. But you found me again. You fixed me up. "

"I was a bastard."

"You were. But I threw shoes."  
"That you did." Kyoya smiled. "But that's in the past. You're here."

Kyoya ran his fingers across her cheek. It was smooth. Pale like a white peach. And soft. Yuuki caught his hand and kissed his palm. She was crying. "You never came for me. In London. You never came. I hated you for not coming. And I'm sorry."

Her husband slid his thumb over a tear and erased it. He kissed the ghost that remained. "I'm sorry."  
"Don't say sorry. Please don't say sorry. I had loved you so much, and then I hated you. But I still loved you. Just the same. And it hurt me. Because I missed a whole year of us. A year. I miss you every time you walk away and every time you go on a business trip and you're not there are night. And I missed a whole year. And I'm sorry."

Kyoya kissed the next tear. And the next. And he kissed her for all the times she'd hurt herself. All the time's she'd needed someone and only found a spirit in the closet. Only found herself in the mirror. "Don't apologise. I've told you this before. You have nothing to be sorry about. I always loved you. I always did. I didn't always fight to best my brothers. I didn't always want more than just money. But I always wanted you. And then I lost you. And..."

Yuuki kissed him. Long and deep. She clutched onto him and breathed in the moments they'd lost. She gave them back to him. "Promise me that when eternity comes, you'll never ever, ever let my hand."

"Never ever." He promised and kissed her back. "I couldn't because I'd never want to."

"You will keep me safe. And you will keep me close. And rain, will make the flowers grow." Yuuki sang faintly, her tone light. All was forgiven. All. Including themselves and time.

Les Miserables had brought them back to each other. Brought The Miserable Ones back. And 'healed their wounds with words of love.' They were heaven blessed.

Time would go on, with or without them. But their time would go on longer. Their world would go on longer. It would stretch past earthly time.

The scars they had were reminders of this.

Reminders that _they_ wanted to fight for themselves. That they were willing to hurt for each other. To understand each other. And to finally, be with the other. Forever. Dancing. In the snow. Just like the first time.

And he still looked the same to her. He was still as handsome. Still the same man.

And she still looked the same to him. She was still as beautiful. Still the same woman.

Absolutely captivating. Breathtaking.

They were the ones that had taken down the others walls for a look and had been handed the key to the gate. No demolition. Just trust. Respect.

And memories. Of the times when she'd burnt her fingers on the stove and travelled in a luggage cart. Of when they fought over Christmas presents and he won; always. Of when she'd learnt to fly over jumps and right into him. Of when he'd found his heart. Of magic of real life.

The little lines by her eyes were just her smile and the ones on him from all the times she'd made him laugh when he hadn't even felt remotely like doing so. Their hair was turning silver, a truth of their eternity. The stars and the snow caught in them. Now in their hair and in his eyes. The pool black of night in hers. To complete the other. Each scar, each wrinkle, each grey hair was a moment that could never be forgotten. They were the gifts of their story. Them. Carved into the others skin. And were continually doing so. A pure, living artwork. Of them.

The future of them.

-

_Your eyes are full, full of the future of us_

_It is as if, I knew you before we spoke_

_You're playing the chords of me that nobody knew how to play_

_Your eyes are full, full of the future of us_

_(The Thief, Brooke Fraser)_

_-_

Kain went to university. He met a girl there. Her name was Mai and she studied art.

They were complete opposites and they argued about everything.

But they fell in love. Absolutely, hopelessly in love.

When the girl came over for dinner, Yuuki and Kyoya couldn't help but smile. They understood everything about the bubble that was forming. Their sons bubble. Like their own.

He was still entirely part of their world. Part of their private atmosphere; but he was creating his own. He was grown up. And an individual. And he loved his parents and extended as they had to love another equally so.

Kain married Mai and three years later; he became the head of the Ootori group.

His parents retired into their house. To each other.

To the piano and the walls. Their Christmas gift.

Another winter memory.

Like falling over in the snow. And making snowmen with a young Kain where the ice man had cherry red lips made of cherries and a button nose made of a giant wooden button.

And snow angels. Proof that they were, to each other, a gift from heaven.

All three of them.

The house was empty after Kain left. Yuuki wandered through it with a cup of tea and stood at his bedroom door. She remembered a time when it had been a nursery. When it had smelled like boiled peas. When she had painted Kyoya.

"He's still our son." The always strong voice came from behind her. "He's just somebody else's lover."  
"And they'll last." Came the melancholy reply. "Like us. They'll last like us. They'll spend every day as if it was the first day they fell in love and they'll learn so many things from each other."

"And she'll put the laptop in the inbox." Kyoya wrapped her in his arms and kissed her head.

"And he'll try to feed her wasabi in a cafe on top of a mountain." Yuuki closed her fingers around his wrists. "But they won't. They'll just feel that same thing."  
"Like wedding nights." The gift that kept on giving. That could never be refunded. There was no refund on their love.

"Like wedding nights." Came the whispered reply. "I never came back to this earth."  
"Neither did I." The man kissed her head. "Neither did I."  
They'd both gone somewhere where heaven existed constantly, just because the other person did. Where pleasure was an entity, not a moment. Where love meant you could very strongly dislike the person and still want to breath their breath and melt into their skin. To sacrifice, not because they deserved it, but because you loved them.

"Kyoya. I'm scared."

"Of what?"  
"Never seeing you smile again."  
"Darling. Dear Yuuki. How could you forget?"  
She turned around and pressed her lips to his. Memorising the way the adored hers, just at touch. They way it tingled everywhere they touched. Like little bolts of pleasant electricity. Like the universe condensed between them.

The girl looked at her husband. All she could see was the man she was in love with. "I won't forget. I won't ever not see it."  
Kyoya smiled. "Now you understand."

When they said eternity together, they meant eternity together. With each other. Smiling and dancing and fighting and learning.

-

Many years later, after their grandchildren, the extension of them, had grown tall, they decided it was time. It was time.

Yuuki locked herself into Kyoya as they lay in bed that night. He was her life force and she needed him. "I think our love can take us away together."

Kyoya ran his fingers through her hair. She was timeless. And she was him. He wasn't anything without her. Nothing at all. "I think our love can do anything we want it to."  
The girl smiled. She was still a girl. No matter what. His girl. His eternity. He was her eternity. Not her forever. But her eternity. Her heaven. A place she could dwell when their time ended. "I love you. Kyoya. I never didn't. Never when I got on that plane. Not even when I was born. I never didn't love you. Before I came to be I love you. I just didn't know it." She breathed.

The man kissed her head, her eyelids, her cheekbones, her jaw, her chin. He lingered above her mouth and stared right into her eyes. Right into her. And he couldn't see the bottom. She was still a mystery to him. And he wouldn't have had it any other way. He understood her mysteries. Even if he never would work them out. "I love you." He pressed his lips gently against hers. "You rescued me."He kissed her again. "This isn't the end. It's just the beginning."

Yuuki held him closer to herself. They didn't need to say the things that they were saying. They knew. But sometimes saying it, making it real to the world, gave others something. It emanated from them and when spoken into words was profound and deep. Even if it was just one word.

Love.

"I love you." Yuuki kissed his throat.

"I love you, Yuuki."  
"Good night. I'll be seeing you."  
"No. You'll never lose sight of me. For eternity."  
She smiled. "Eternity."  
"Are you ready?"  
"Are you?"  
"If you hold my hand." He admitted one final time.

They locked their fingers together. Locked them together.

"Good night, Yuuki."

The girl closed her eyes and rested her head into her lover's neck. The man shut his and breathed her in. She was not his wife. He was not her husband. They were more than that. So much more. And always would be. Always had been. For an eternity before. And for every eternity to come. There was no after. Never for them. It was just them.

They died that night. Together.

Kain found them in bed, in each other's arms. As if they were sleeping there, as they had a thousand times before. They had been born into the world apart and they had left it together. Peacefully. They say love has power that no man can imagine. Well, it had the power to take them at the same time so that their worst fear, to be apart, would never come to be.

Yuuki and Kyoya danced. The snow caught in her hair. Like bubble bath only cool. Something cold, but pleasant. Like him. Something that was a gift, not something disagreeable. Her saviour. Her forever. He kissed her, again and again and he laughed with her. And they were on a balcony in the snow. They didn't look away from each other. And they didn't stop smiling. She stood on his feet, just like the first time, just as beautiful and fresh and loving as the first time, and they waltzed into infinity. Like they always had been.

Everything they did, everything they went through, every single breath they took; their measure of the life, could never and will never be explained in words.

It just was.

And always will be.

-

Goodbye.  
by Peterpauper

_-_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_They said goodbye_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_Grew wings and learned to fly_

_Tonight the lovers said goodbye_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_To their friends and family_

_And left for up on high_

_It was them or nothing or an empty sky_

_And they were not nothing_

_They were just them_

_And an empty sky was just their friend_

_It was filled with their life_

_The stars their smiles_

_They waved from the heights_

_And kissed away trials_

_Tonight the mothers said goodbye_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_They pushed their memories into bags_

_And lifted themselves to the sky_

_Tonight the fathers said goodbye_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_They smiled upon their family_

_And blessed them all goodbye_

_Tonight those parents said goodbye_

_Goodbye, goodbye_

_Tonight the parents said goodbye_

_And left their babies_

_All grown and high_

_Tonight they went together_

_Together, goodbye_

_Tonight they went together_

_And ascended up on high_

_Tonight they went together_

_Because there had never been anything else_

_And tonight they said goodbye_

_To go live somewhere else_

_Eternity in each other_

_Just as it had always been_

_Eternity in each other_

_As none had ever seen_

_Tonight, goodbye_

_Together, goodbye_

_They said goodbye_

_Tonight they said goodbye_

_Grew wings and learned to fly_

_-----_


	43. Buffet Line: Deleted Scene

-

**The Buffet Line: Deleted Scene **

-

The Host Club gathered one windy Friday night and contemplated where to eat dinner that evening. They had all decided to go out together, but had not decided where. Tamaki kept trying to include Haruhi's budget into the matter – he thought it was smaller than what it was and even suggested trash diving. The girl was sorely offended.

Yuuki pulled her hood up and buried her hands into the pockets of her jacket. The bitter September wind was wriggling its way through her clothes and into her skin. She stood beside Mori, using him as an impromptu wind barrier. Kyoya was on her other side, casually rebutting any ideas the Souh or the Twins threw into the mix of non-ideas. She was leaving for London in a few weeks. She had only just got the hang of the idea of 'them' again. Entirely her, entirely him – one relationship. It made her smile inside, knowing that after everything that had happened, he still wanted her, she still wanted him. They still wanted 'them'. It was a marvel Yuuki didn't think she would ever get used to.

"What about The Venice?" Kyoya voiced his idea.

Yuuki rocked on her feet, ill at ease standing outside when they could well be inside. "The entree there is as much as what you would pay for all of us at a buffet."  
"A buffet?" Tamaki blinked. "Like when commoners pay a certain amount of money and then have to chose their own courses and combinations?"  
"You've never gone to an all-you-can-eat before?" The Cunxin wondered at what the rich did for fun. Surely they had been to a buffet. Maybe sharing salad tongs was not on the agenda.

"No." The twins chorused.

"Doesn't everyone use the same plate?" Hikaru asked congenially.

"And you use one set of cutlery for the whole meal?" His brother finished.

Yuuki shrugged. She and her riding friends had gone to buffets often. Mostly because they couldn't decide on McDonalds or Subway. "It's hygienic."

"So is getting vaccinated." Kyoya pointed out flatly.

"Ahhh, but it is not entirely unpleasant."  
"Speak for yourself." Hani said stubbornly. Recalling a moment in life.

Yuuki smiled. "They have an all-you-can-eat dessert table?"

At this, the short blonde joined her side. Haruhi pointed out that she had gone to a buffet line at a wedding and found it good. Because of this, Tamaki joined the 'commoner food' team. The twins, not wanting to be outdone by Tono, enthusiastically pointed out the positives of mass produced soup.

Yuuki stared at Kyoya. "And you? It's cheap."  
"Is it quality?"  
"Yes." Came the happy reply.

The Ootori pushed his glasses up. "Do you even know where one of these places are?"  
"Nope." Yuuki withdrew her previous statement in saying so, but held her ground. "You can go to The Venice by yourself or you can come with the team?"  
"The team?"  
"Go team, go." The girl cheered her tone just above a whisper. "Wooo, right?"  
"Wrong." Kyoya smiled. "But I'll come." Even if just to be with her.  
Yuuki threw her arms around his torso. "Awesome."  
"Awesome?"  
"Awesome." She confirmed. Victory. Rare victory. Rare, sweet victory.

After an hour of looking for a place that did buffet and half an hour of waiting for a table, the fun began. Hani immediately headed for the dessert seeing as he didn't have to wade through courses to get to it.

"So...we can eat courses in whatever order you like?" Tamaki queried to Haruhi.  
"Its not really a course, Tamaki. You take what you want and then eat it. If you want more, you go back for more."

The blonde paused. "Amazing!"

Haruhi smiled and led him to salad, seeing as that would follow closer to what he was used to. Salad, fish, main, dessert. The twins were in awe at how much people put on a plate. Dessert cheese and entree salad was put on the same plate. It was a world upside-down.

Yuuki stood in front of Kyoya and drummed her fingers on the back of her plate as they stood in a line. "Tacky, right?"  
"If you're talking about the chairs, tacky is an understatement." Came the flat reply. The chairs were wicker and made of red, blue and orange weave.

"Oh, it's fun." The girl smiled at him over her shoulder. "Admit it."

Silence. Amused silence. Only she would think that standing in a crowd of people, one of which inevitably had the flu and was going to pass it on, was fun. Especially when food was involved.

"At least pretend to have fun." Yuuki said to him.

"I'm having fun." Kyoya replied.

"You just don't know what to make of it?"  
"No I,"

She cut him off. "It's okay. It's not supposed to make sense. Masses of food, masses of people, little money. It's a buffet. When I was ten I went to a sleepover where we had dinner at a place like this. We put ice-cream, jelly beans, chilli, mince and gravy into a bowl and dared each other to eat it."

"Did you eat it?" Came the stoic reply.

"Of course. I was ten."

"Did you throw up?"  
Yuuki turned to him and looked guilty. "It was meat and ice-cream in one. Three of us threw up."

"Ah. Lovely." The Ootori couldn't help but be amused. Here he was, standing in a line of commoners, waiting to serve himself. It was unheard of. It was unorthodox. But Yuuki was there. That was unorthodox too. She should have been on the other side of the world. But she wasn't. She was standing with him, behind a man shaped like a sloppy bowling ball, serving herself potato-bake.

The girl who could move through a five course meal with airs and graces and then use a fish knife to butter bread. The world was a strange place to those who only explored one side of society.

Kyoya was beginning to see the world as it was, not the world as he was raised to see it. He saw people. Not clients. He saw ways of doing things that seemed so strange to him, but so normal to others. He saw her. The girl who rode horses. Who chose him.

Yuuki turned around to Kyoya again. "Do you want potatoes?"  
The man eyed the cream vegetable. "I'll pass."  
"Sam was right. They did boil them, mash them and put them in a stew."  
"Sam?"  
"You know, Sam and Frodo?"  
"Oh." Not really.

"Lord of the Rings."  
"Right." Yes. Knew that one. The Ootori wondered at how people linked something fictional to something common. Maybe fiction was more lifelike than he gave it credit for.

Over the course of the evening, Yuuki showed him how to eat an entree, soup and a main at the same time and look normal doing it. She then showed him how to put three flavours of ice-cream into one bowl and then four toppings as decoration.

Hani had already done that though. He was onto the Pavlova and chocolate mousse. In one bowl.

"They taste so good together!" He exclaimed.

"Who knew?" Haruhi said to herself.

Tamaki was surrounded by all the food types on offer, examining them and marvelling at how they were all served at once. Mori just blended in. He was good at that. The twins had ended up with the same meal in the same order. This amused Haruhi greatly, though she never said so.

When the evening ended, talk of another trip to an all-you-can-eat restaurant began.

Yuuki wandered down the sidewalk beside Kyoya. They had ended up near the back of the group.

"Cold?" He asked, peering down at her.

The girl had her shoulders hunched closer to her body. "Uhuh. Full?"  
"Not really."  
"Then you defied the purpose of all-you-can-eat. You're supposed to eat until you can't."  
"That's disgusting."

"To you. But I agree."  
Kyoya made a mental note to take Yuuki shopping for a better jacket. He then scratched that mental note and came up with a better idea. "Are you full?"  
"Nope. Like you said, disgusting."  
"Then you'll fit."  
"Huh?" She eyed him, wondering if he'd taken up some strange hobby since she left. The memory was still bitter, but it behind her.

The Ootori undid the button holding his jacket closed. He was wearing the sort of trench coat you see rich men wear in Manhattan. The stylish sort that wasn't tacky enough to be in the matrix but warm enough to be adopted by society.

Kyoya held one side open for her. He had been warm all the time. "Come on, it's cold."  
Yuuki pulled her hands out of her pockets without thinking and wrapped her arms around his torso. He was wearing a cream turtle neck that probably cost a lot more than her whole outfit put together. The girl wondered at how she got to where she was. Got to where she had been. Got back to him. Him. Always him.

Instead of having an internal debate about what had happened to them, Yuuki relaxed for the first time in a long time and felt warm all over. He smelled the same, moved the same, spoke the same. He held her, though, a little closer. A little firmer. As if willing her to stay. Keeping her close.

"Better?" Came the smug question.

"Uhuh." Yuuki tried to match her step with his and avoid his feet at the same time. Being as close as a hug and moving at a walk were not two things designed to go together.

Eventually they dropped behind Tamaki's debate about how hygienic it was to put meat and salad close together when you were a commoner using ethanol. Haruhi told him that ethanol had nothing to do with it and prayed that he hadn't tried the salad. Salmonella was not something she wanted her fiancé to have. Either way, she held his hand steadily and smiled inside. Everything was turning out. Yuuki leaving had not only hurt Kyoya, but the rest of them. It felt like something was missing. That's just how the Cunxin was. She was a little force. So human and so oblivious to the fact.

Haruhi glanced back and saw that Yuuki and Kyoya were trying to coordinate themselves to each other. His jacket didn't reach around both of them, but they were close enough for it not to be a problem. Yuuki then managed to trip on one of his feet and nearly take them both out in the process. She laughed at the event and never let him go.

She wasn't going to let go. Haruhi watched them pause for a minute and smiled to herself. She didn't know why, but they worked. She worked well with Tamaki – though normality said she probably shouldn't. Odd things happened with love. It could change your life for better or for worse. It was about decisions, waiting, learning, planning. It wasn't just romance and kisses. It was compatibility.

It was like standing in a buffet line when you had never been to one before. You didn't know the rules and didn't know that there weren't any except human ethics. There were boundaries that could be crossed, odd mixes could be made, strange things could happen – but it turned out as good or as bad as you wanted it to be. You could find out that pavlova and mousse are a great mix. You could find out that ice-cream and mince are not.

Kyoya and Yuuki were a good mix. They'd taken the risk and tried to be apart, and now they were back together. Like potatoes and gravy, cheese and wine, Pringles and Nutella. Opposite things that just worked well together. Similar beings that complimented each other. Things that seemed alone without the other.

Yuuki paused on the pavement and blew a strand of hair off her face. "We should go 'left, right, left, right' because I'll get lost."  
"Last time I checked, you thought left was right." Kyoya added.

"That was one time. It's easy to get mixed up." Pause. "Not for you maybe, but for me –yes."

The man smiled softly and kept her warm, even if it was hard to do. He wanted to be with her, even if it meant stumbling a little before getting it right. It was right. "You are..."  
"Affable, amiable, admirable," Yuuki spoke over him cheekily. "And that's only the A's."

Kyoya laughed. "And I'm the egoist."  
"Its catching."

"Uhuh."  
"Uhuh." She mocked.

"Don't mock me."  
Yuuki smiled light-heartedly. "But its fun."  
"You'll never win."  
"I will. My wit is sharper now."  
"Uhuh."  
"Like a double edged sword."  
"Uhuh."  
"Yep."  
"Sure." Kyoya added, humoured. She made him smile. There hadn't been a lot of smiling without her. Just thinking. Working. Grinning and bearing it.

"Oh, whatever." Yuuki stared up at him. "We had a year apart and have a lot of catching up to do." They'd been back together a few months and still felt like they had missed something.

"Catching up spending-time, catching up this-sort?" He indicated their one-person-jacket predicament.

"Both." She smiled and softened expression. "I like this. I missed this." Being close to someone. There was something comforting in the warmth of another. It didn't have to be intimate, but rather supportive. Just being there. Simple as that.

Kyoya kissed the corner of her mouth. In love or not, he was still forward and went for what he wanted. What he wanted though, was for her to be happy. With him. Yuuki wanted the same. She kissed him back. Happily. Affably. Agreeably. Amiably – and that's only the A's.

They'd both learnt something new that night. Kyoya had learnt how to stand in a buffet line and put up with ugly chairs. Yuuki had learnt how to get warm quickly and happily.


	44. The Adventures of Riki: Deleted Scene

-

**The Adventures of Riki: Deleted Scene**

-

Little girls love older men. Fact. It is an imitation of older girls who love boy-band members. Of wife's with their husbands.

Of fiancés .

Riki was not happy that her lover was engaged to her petty mid-preschool life crisis. Yuuki was the only person who'd argued back. To a five year old. And still lost. Even though she was right. And she had stolen her Kyoya. Her Kyoya.

Riki always got what she wanted. She was little, cute, rich. All the boys vied for the chance to push her on the swings at the park. All the boys except the one she wanted. The man. The dream of being grown up and lovely.

"Kyoya!" The girl cried, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the lounge. They were at her aunt Suki's house. She for the weekend. He for dinner. With his fiancé. Riki scowled over her shoulder at Yuuki as she tugged the man towards the TV. "Pick a movie!"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and pried his fingers free. He needed to tolerate the child. It was difficult. The man smiled pleasantly and wondered why her cheeks flushed. "You pick."

"Me?"  
"Of course. I wouldn't choose anything to your tastes."  
Riki was delighted that he cared about her tastes. "Do you like fishes or lions?"  
Pause. "Um. Lions?"

"Me too!"

Kyoya knew that if he'd said 'fish', the outcome would have been the same. "Ask your uncle if you can watch it."  
A pleasing voice wrapped itself around the oddly-aged pair. "Are we watching a movie?"

The man turned to his fiancé and for a moment his expression changed. His host smile turned into something else. Something Riki wanted.

"Yes. Kyoya chose." Came the stout reply from below.

"Really?" Yuuki smiled down at the girl. "What did he chose?"  
"Lion King."  
"Really?" Her tone was sceptical.

Kyoya raised his eyebrows and sat down. "If it makes Riki happy."

The lady in question beamed and climbed onto the couch beside him. She peered adoringly at the man she thought she loved. Her first crush. "I love you."  
Her crush stared blankly, straight ahead. His mind working through the variations that could possibly go with the thought pattern of 'oh no'. He then blinked and brought his pleasant expression to Riki. "You hardly know me."  
"But I know that you're good and kind and handsome and smart..."

Kyoya got a sudden sense of de'ja'vous. He wondered if Renge had ever been like Riki as a small child. It was quite the possibility. "And I'm engaged."

"Why?"

Yuuki was pouring coffee, smiling ever so slightly as she eavesdropped.

"Because," The Ootori said with dignity. He never finished.

Suki spilled into the room with a blaze of bright personality and dark chocolate. "I bring forth joy!"

"Really?" The Cunxin glanced up. "Oh. You did." Her expression warmed the room as she stole one of the 'joy's' that Suki bore.

"Oi. No. Guests first." The woman waved a hand at her friend.

"I am a guest." Yuuki said lightly.

Pause. "Right. Yes. But I know you to well. So technically, you're just the person who lives here for a few hours a week." She held the plate out to Kyoya. "You're the guest."

"Guest isn't interested." The man said agreeably.

Riki sad flat on her bottom and crossed her arms. "Niece isn't interested."

Yuuki laughed ever so slightly.

"What?" The little girl asked stubbornly.

"Nothing." Came the charming reply.

"Yeah, right." Riki's face was accusing. "Tell me."

The Cunxin raised an eyebrow momentarily. "Well, I was just thinking about how much of a try-hard you are." She handed her fiancé a cup of coffee.

The girl gasped in insult. "A try-hard!"

"You think Kyoya likes girls just like him?"

Riki glanced at the man beside her. He was sipping his beverage. "Yes?"  
"Pfft." Yuuki sat in a chair nearby. "I don't."  
"Well, you don't know him then." Child sticking to her guns.

"What's his favourite colour?" Adult being immature.

"Green!"

"Lucky..." The girl mumbled. "Number?"  
Long pause. "Five?" Ironic that she would pick her age.

"Much longer than that."  
"Really?"  
"Oh yeah." Yuuki nodded.

"What is it?"  
The girl glanced at her fiancé. "It's his credit card ID number."  
At this, Suki laughed. "Okay, Riki. Sweetie. Let's stop glaring daggers into Yuuki and watch a movie. Which one?"

Riki glanced at her enemy and then smiled serenely at her aunt. "Lion King." She stuck a tongue out at Yuuki.

Yuuki stuck hers out back.

After ten minutes, when the adults had slid into conversation in the room adjacent to where Riki was being entertained, the young girl slipped in and tapped Kyoya on the shoulder from behind.

"I want to ask you something." She whispered as not to gain any attention.

"Mm?" Came the half attentive reply. There were no merits in a five year old.

"Can I give my first kiss to you?"  
Full attention. Fully shocked attention. "No."

"Why?"  
"Because, you're five."  
"I don't care if it means nothing to you. I will treasure it always!"

Yuuki caught the end of the child's desperate cry. "What's up Riki?"  
"Aunt Suki!" Riki yelled across the room. "Yuuki's listening to a private conversation!"

"Pardon me." Came the Cunxin's smug reply.

"We were done." Kyoya said flatly.

Suki glanced at the trio and then ushered the shortest of them out of the room again.

Yuuki turned to her fiancé. "What was that?"  
He glanced at her. "That was shocking."  
"What?"  
"She wanted to give her first kiss to me."  
"Ah." Pause. Amused smile. "Why is that so shocking?"  
When Riki turned around to poke her tongue out at her arch nemesis, she got jealous. The lips of the enemy were coveting those of her saint. "Aunt Suki! Why won't Kyoya do that to me?"

Suki looked over her shoulder. "You're not engaged?"

"No! Don't say that!"  
"Okay..." Questioning pause. "Alright. I don't want to know."

Half an hour later, Riki crawled to the arm of the chair Kyoya was sitting in. Her uncle was talking about horses with Yuuki. She was distracted. Deeply distracted. The child stood up silently and then very suddenly grabbed the Ootori's sleeve and tugged.

"Last chance." She whispered.

Kyoya paused, pretended to think and then gave her an answer. "No."

Defeated expression. "But..."  
"Riki. No."

The girl took the opportunity of him full facing her and leant in like a snake striking. Her mouth got within a few inches of his face before Kyoya used his years of Host Training to avoid such an onslaught. The man turned sharply and sent Riki sprawling over the arm chair.

Suki helped the girl take her leave once more. She wouldn't go.

"No! Not unless Kyoya gives me a goodnight kiss!"

"Why is it that important to you?" Her aunt said, tugging her towards the door.

"Because it's him..." Riki's tone was dreamy. "And he's gorgeous." She broke free of the woman's grip and ran across the room to her lover. "Kyoya. Take me now!"

Yuuki chocked on her coffee. "Oh my gosh. Don't say that."  
"Why? Jealous of a little competition?" Came the snark reply.

The girl pondered a moment. "Yes. Yes Riki I'm jealous of you. I'm jealous because you get everything you want and my fiancé will only give me what he thinks is worth it."  
"What?" Riki turned to Kyoya. "You don't give her everything she wants?"  
"No." The man pushed his glasses up. "I do not."  
"Why?"  
"Because, I want to give her what she deserves." He glanced at Yuuki. She shook her head slightly. Sweetly.

"What do I deserve?" The child clasped her hands together.

"You deserve absolutely nothing right now. You're being a brat." Flat reply.

Riki's eye's glistened. "But..."

She really was like Renge. "No but's. You are five. I am engaged to another woman."  
"Break up with her!"

Yuuki paused. "Did you just stomp your foot?" She turned to Kyoya. "Did she just stomp her foot?"

"Yes. She did." Came the smooth voice.

"Wow. Mature." Sarcastic voice.

"Do you intend to ruin this child?" Suki's voice. "Geez, she's five. Let a kid dream."

Yuuki laughed. "Well, she turned me off children."  
"I'm in the room." Riki scowled.

"So am I." Came the expected lame reply.  
Suki sighed. "Okay Riki. Bed."

"No."

"Bed."  
"No."  
"Now."

"No."

"Why?"

"I want my goodnight kiss."  
"Get it from your uncle."  
"No. I don't love uncle."

The man sat up and laughed deeply. "Well..."  
"No." Riki said stoutly. "I love Kyoya. I want him to tuck me in every night."

Yuuki clasped her hands in front of herself casually. Smugly. "Well, I don't know about him doing it to you..."

Her fiancé laughed.

The little girl didn't know. Suki shot the pair a warning glance. "Uhuh. That was bad enough before Jasmine. She's been sleeping since you arrived." Glare at Riki. "Why can't you be good like that?"  
"Because, I can do more than yell and poop."  
"Very well put."

There was a long silence.

Suki took Riki's hand. "Come on darling. Bed."

Five minutes later, the girl complied.

Five minutes after that, she was standing in the hall. "Kyoya..."  
The Ootori sighed.

The girl's uncle rose and crossed the room. "Yes baby?"  
"Can you tuck me in?" She rubbed her eye. Obviously to drowsy to recognise who's voice was calling her. In her mind, it was Kyoya's.

"Yes sweetie. Do you want that kiss?"  
"Yes. Is Yuuki watching?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay."  
Yuuki scowled. Kyoya smiled at her.

Riki got her kiss goodnight. She got it from her Prince Charming. Just in the ugly frog form.


	45. Kitchen Dynamics: Deleted Scene

-

**Kitchen Dynamics: Deleted Scene**

**-**

Yuuki could make fruit salad. She liked making fruit salad. Kyoya liked watching her make fruit salad. It was like having a snack line that continually produced health food, fresh and ready to eat.

"Oi. No. You don't even like sweet things." The girl batted Kyoya away. He was seated just across from her workspace.  
"Its fruit, Yuuki."

"It's my fruit."  
"You're not going to eat that much."  
"No, but Suki and Haruhi will."  
"Uhuh. So technically, it's not your fruit."  
"It's mine until they eat it."  
"Uhuh."  
"Uhuh." She mocked.

Kyoya smiled and pushed his glasses up. "Good day?"

Yuuki waved her knife as she leant on the counter in a moment of flashback thought. "It was a long day."

"Mm?" Why?

"I...went riding. It was cold..."  
"I know." He cut her off. She'd crawled back into bed and brought the crisp reminder of winter with in her feet, her hands, her nose...

The corner of the girl's mouth lifted before continuing. "Yes. Anyway. After you left, I left. Spent five hours being a psychologist and then two shopping with Hikaru and Kaoru."  
"Hikaru and Kaoru?" His tone was cautious.

"Yes. They have remarkably good taste, even if not manners."  
"Huh."

"You might not like them, but I like their help." Yuuki continued cutting fruit. "And then I came home and...Went riding again. Had a shower, mugged you when you got home and then dragged you here to listen to my day."

Kyoya handed his wife the apple she pointed at. "Sounds like a really hard day."  
"I don't fancy your mocking tone." Yuuki decided to stop chopping fruit before she chopped a finger off. Her attention was elsewhere. "And you?"

"What about me?"  
"Your day silly." Duh.

The man undid his tie and the top button of his shirt. "Long. Boring."  
"Boring for you, boring for me?"  
"The latter."  
"Wana bet?"  
"Want to." He corrected.  
Yuuki waved her hand at him dismissively.

Kyoya watched her begin to wind cling-wrap around the fruit salad she had just made. "Well, I spoke in two different languages, confirmed some plans and campaigns...boring things." He had just got home. Work, for the only time he would admit it, was happily very far from his mind. When a man got home from work; he was home. Not in the office.

"Okay." Yuuki leant over the kitchen counter and kissed him on the forehead, understanding, before pulling the fridge open and putting her prize inside.

"Yuuki?"  
"Mm?"

"What did you just put in the fridge?"

"The fruit?"  
"Really?" The man's tone was humoured.

The girl paused, thought a moment and then opened the door. The cling wrap was sitting on the second shelf. The fruit salad was still basking happily on the kitchen counter. "Right." Yuuki took the misplaced item out of its cool environment and held it in an embarrassed manner. "Tell me before I do those things. Prior warning, please."

"I like pointing out the odd things you do."  
"You mean the stupid things?"  
Pause. "Sometimes."

Yuuki threw the box playfully at her husband. "Be nice."

He laughed and stood. His wife was looking a little forlorn. The man took the fruit salad and put it in the fridge before putting her in his arms. "Nice enough?"  
"Yes." She said flatly.

"Okay." Kyoya kissed the top of her head before letting go and heading for the door. "I'm going to shower," AKA, unwind. "Want to pick a movie?"  
Yuuki smiled. "Sure."

Her husband paused. "You can pick anything as long as it was made in the twenty-first century."

"No."

"Yes."  
"No."  
"Yes."  
"I'm picking. Remember?"  
"I'm letting you pick, remember?"  
Yuuki scowled. "Fine."

"Fine." The man laughed silently as he disappeared, knowing full well that, because of his request, that something vintage would be chosen.

Thus, _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ was watched by two smug egos.


	46. All the Small Things: Deleted Scene

-

**All the Small Things: Deleted Scene**

-

Yuuki Ootori sat cross legged on her side of the bed. She had just climbed out of her riding clothes, into a shower and then into a pair of jeans and a sweater. She was staring painfully at her hands as her husband slept like a log near her knee.

She stared at him pleadingly, willed him awake, got no response and turned to her hands again. She had broken a nail while riding. Badly broken a nail. It was split from just off centre, the crack running past the tip of her finger and across the flesh usually covered by the usually unremoved body of her fingernail. She had also got cleanser in it. The warm water had helped, the soap had not. It stung.

Yuuki turned back to Kyoya and scowled at him playfully. He was out like a light. She smiled and lay down on top of the covers beside him.

"Hey, Kyoya?" She whispered. "You should help me when I'm in pain. I wake up for you when you're in pain. Like the times you were sick and when you had a migraine." Pause. Silence. "I need a hug?"  
Nothing.

Yuuki pondered for a moment. He looked so peaceful and honest when he slept. She couldn't help but love watching him sleep, it was something only she got to see and understand and be near on an intimate level. It was a sign of trust, of allowing the other to rest, of allowing them to rest near you.

And yet...her whole hand tingled as the abused nerves in her forefinger reverberated. It was surprising how much something so small could hurt. She had nearly cried. And then when she got soap in it she had bit her lip so hard that it throbbed slightly and her head hurt because she had went to rest it against the mirror and been a little too hasty. All in all, it was a simple and tortured affair.

"Kyoya?" Yuuki said gently. "I'm all broken."

No response. All he did was breathe slowly. The girl sat up again and sat facing him. Cradling her injured hand she eyed her husband mischievously. Her healthy forefinger and thumb were used to close Kyoya's nostrils.

There was a moment of dead silence and then a hand locked around Yuuki's wrist. He was awake and menacing. He had not got a fright, gasped for air, struggled or anything; he had attacked. Sort of. Kyoya stared up at his wife in a confused, muddled, annoyed manner.

"What on earth are you doing?" He said, a grumpy edge to his voice. "Were you trying to kill me?"

He was going to rant a bit but stopped upon seeing Yuuki's long-suffering face. She was staring at him painfully, totally unapologetic about giving him the Tontine Treatment to wake him up.

"Kyoya..." She whined softly. "Finger." She held up the offended phalange. "Feel my pain."  
"You woke me up with abuse because your finger hurts?"  
Pause. She grinned. "Yes."

"Yuuki..."  
"Look at it! Its red and I got cleanser in it and it burns. Oh it burns."  
"Stop being melodramatic." The Ootori woke up to a less annoyed state than the one he had come back to life in. "Let me see." He grabbed her hand and reached for his glasses.  
"Don't be angry, Kyoya. I want you to look after me." Yuuki said generically.  
"That's not going to work." He commented, slightly amused at her try-to-save-his-mood quip. The man put his glasses on and held her hand as he ran his fingers up the length of hers. "When did you do this?" It looked nasty.  
"I caught it on the hook that holds Zero's bridle..."  
There was a long pause as the man of the house examined the damage.

Yuuki eyed her husband carefully. "Is it okay? It really hurts."

Kyoya met her eye and with a totally serious voice said "We have to amputate."

She believed him for a moment and blinked in surprise. He was a doctor after all.

The man smiled, she had just brightened his morning. "Don't be stupid, Yuuki. Just carefully cut it short and rub some Dettol into the split. You'll be fine."  
"Don't say things like that!"

"Hey, you woke me up by blocking my air supply. I have every right to be mean."  
"No...that's just downright evil."

"Why would a broken nail mean amputation?"  
"It's badly broken. If you had any idea how much it hurts..."  
Kyoya smiled sleepily. "What time is it?"  
"It's just past seven."  
The man half-sighed. He actually had to get up. "I'm sorry it hurts, Yuuki."  
"You are not. You just want revenge for my trying to kill you."  
"We have a prenup, you can't kill me."  
"Ooo....now that was an evil statement." She eyed him. "Kiss it better." She held finger out to him.

Kyoya smiled genuinely this time. "I married a five year old."  
"No, no, you married me. There's a difference."  
The man paused for a moment. She was not immature or unintelligent – rather the opposite. She was just...Yuuki. So uniquely herself that society standards didn't really apply to her. She had taught him that just because society says so, doesn't mean it has to be so. They had their own lives and though they lived in a social group, they were their own units. Society is run by the individuals within it, somewhere along the lines we forgot this.

Kyoya kissed Yuuki's finger and then gently held her hand in his own. "Good morning, Yuuki."

"Good morning, husband." She replied sweetly as she leant forward to press her lips against his own. "Thank you."  
The man tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "No, Yuuki, thank you."

Thank you for teaching me things that I could never find in a text book, for helping me learn things that are never written and for making me feel like I come first in all your classes. Thank you for making the small things, no matter how inconsequential or painful, mental or physical, intimate or meaningless – thank you. A thousand times, thank you.

Yuuki frowned for a moment. "Thank you for what?"  
An intelligent expression settled onto her husband's face and he replied with silence. The man stepped out of bed and left his wife sitting, pondering, smiling. Always smiling.

Little things grow into big things. Little things like acquaintances. Like that first riding lesson. Like a snowflake. They could end up destructive, like airplane wheels. They could end up amazing, like the ink on a return ticket. Life is not one large entity, if you look closely it is an entirety of moments. Some forgotten, blended, some highlighted and spectacular. Some crumbling, some whole. Moments. Little things. The ones that hurt were often the ones that made or broke the memories around it. Breaking a nail could be incredibly painful, but if treated right could be a lesson well learned from the ABC of life; or so the metaphor suggests.

Kyoya appeared out of the bathroom and found his wife with a pair of nail scissors, flinching as she cut the last of her shattered nail-tip off. The long and ragged crack throbbed and stung, but she had to get rid of what was making it hurt more. Dead weight. Sometimes we have to go through pain to remove that which makes life more painful.

The man disappeared to the bathroom and returned with a slightly orange-stained cotton ball and a bandaid. He silently took his wife's offended hand and ran the Dettol over the broken nail-body. Yuuki hissed slightly at the burn and relaxed as the bandaid was pulled tight across her finger, cutting off some of the negative sensation.

"Good girl." Kyoya mocked lightly as he stood and discarded the cotton ball. "What colour sticker do you want?"

Yuuki stared sadly at him from her seat on the bed. "Ow...Kyoya..."  
"Aw, Yuuki." He cooed, mocking her again.

"Aw, Kyoya." She shot back, amused.

"Come here." He opened his arms.

Yuuki unfolded herself off the bed and embraced him warmly. He smelt like soap and warm cologne. "You're so nice."  
"You're the only one who thinks so."

"Maybe I'm delusional."  
"No, you're Yuuki." Kyoya replied. "And you see me."  
The girl smiled up at him. "Who can't?"  
"The people I don't let." He replied honestly.

Yuuki fingered her husband's tie. "Thank you." She looked him in the eye. "Really."

He kissed her forehead. "You're welcome."

------------------

Yes, I do still write these. Yuuki and Kyoya are characters that stuck around in my head and refused to leave. And...I'm still a little attached to this story, I just can't seem to leave it behind.

This was going to be a 'Kyoya x Kain x Yuuki' short, but it turned out like this. So, expect one with Kain in it in the future.

Hope you enjoyed.  
Reviews much appreciated.

Blessings,

P.

p.s) I have started a new story called 'Amorphous'. It's a Bleach fic, which is totally new for me. Its supernatural and there are so many characters...it's going to be an adventure. I am awaiting feedback to see how it is taken, so, fingers crossed.


	47. Marvel: Deleted Scene

-

**Marvel: Deleted Scene**

-

Yuuki discovered that having an eighteen month old boy was an adventure. Kain could run. Kain liked to run. Or rather, waddle exceptionally fast. The young mother would put him down for a second and he would be off. Doing what, she could never work out. But off he went, giggling and calling her from around corners.

"Ma!" The little boy cried, sticking his dark head around the corner of the lounge wall, grabbing his mothers attention.

She had been looking for a piece of the puzzle they had been doing and looked up, smiled warmly and got to her feet. Yuuki chased after her toddler and caught him in the hallway. She swept him into her arms and kissed his cheek as they skidded to a halt.

Kyoya saw the pair from his study. They were briefly in the doorway and then gone again. The man pushed up his glasses and smiled. It was raining heavily outside and he had a lot of work to do. Normally, he would be the one ensuring that Kain didn't end up on the back of a milk carton while Yuuki made them both smile. Things had been stressful of late. Kain had been sick for a good week and had kept his parents awake all hours of the night as they comforted him through a fever. Kyoya had also been busy; the former with some psychology papers she was writing to keep herself occupied when she was at home with Kain, the latter with a mountain of paperwork that came in when complications arose with a new system. As much as he tried to find time for his wife and son, it seemed to disappear before he could grab onto it. Work kept attacking him. Yuuki knew it would pass, but she did miss him. More than she let on. Kain helped very much, but when he was sleeping or on a play-date, the house seemed very empty and/or tired.

Kyoya was thinking about this when a small force whacked him repeatedly in the thigh. It wasn't an abusive force, but rather a misconstrued act of affection. The Ootori looked down and smiled. Kain raised his arms to his father and stared at him with expectant grey eyes. The man lifted his son into his lap and let him cling to his collar and burry his dark head into his neck as he laughed happily.

"Hello, Kain. You're not tired?" Kyoya glanced at the time. It wasn't bed time yet, but it was getting there.

Kain shook his head and looked his father in the face. He could speak, but he seemed to like the quiet of thought.

"Where's mom?"

At this, the toddler smiled. He continued to cling to his dads shirt as he lifted his other hand to his mouth in a guilty manner.

"Are you hiding?"

Nodding.

"Okay." Kyoya smoothed the boys hair down and kissed him on the forehead. "Our secret."

"Okay." Kain replied, settling into his father's chest and turning around clumsily to face the door.

The Ootori had to alter his sons position on his lap but eventually they got there. He continued working like that, his laptop screen obscuring the bundle 'hiding' in his possession.

Yuuki appeared in the doorway. "Have you -." She stopped, breathed and smiled.

Kyoya glanced up. Kain hadn't noticed the intruder left; he was much too comfortable and much too happy. Not that he didn't love his mother, but rather that he needed to be with his father. The little boy was leaning forward, his palms on the desk and his face sucking in the images on the screen. Yuuki met her husband's eye and nodded silently. Kain would stay with him for a while. She smiled directly at Kyoya and moved silently from sight, leaving the father son pair together.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and kissed his son on the back of the head before placing a steady hand on his stomach and pulling the toddlers body against his torso so he could work. An hour later, Kain was fast asleep and slumped against the head Ootori's shoulder. Kyoya had stopped working and had wrapped his arm around his son's body and was watching him sleep. There was something so precious about holding your own child that the man had to pause and marvel at it before moving back to Kain. The little boy looked peaceful, warm and welcoming; like he knew he was safe. This gave his father a very satisfied feeling. Like he'd achieved something greater than earning his highest dollar. Yuuki gave him that feeling, and so did his son. And they didn't even try.

A lot of couples look at the stress in their lives and see it as the stress of the rest of their lives. There is this perception that couples will forever be tired after having children. They will forever be wiping up disgusting things. Forever enduring screaming and yelling and taking kids to school. That they will have no time for each other and that their love will die. It's a permanent mindset to a temporary lifestyle. Children, sadly, grew up. Like Peter Pan, they learned to fly. They went to soccer practice in your car and then they got their own. You cried on their first day of school and shed a tear on the last. No one should expect life to ever be the same after having a child, but no one should expect it to be worse than it was. It's just different, and we need to acknowledge that even when it's hard. Even when it's tiring.

Its nearly the same with marriage. How many times have you heard a negative marriage joke? The lifestyle changes, but it does not degrade. Kyoya had realised this and allowed himself into it. Allowed Yuuki into it. Allowed Kain into it. It was hard, but no one said it would be easy.

Kyoya powered his computer down, dismissing his work until the next day. He would be in his office, not in his home. Work would be work, not time away.

A soft noise came from the lounge. Yuuki was playing her piano. She didn't play accurately, anyone could do that. She played with her imagination and sometimes it didn't work, but often it came out special.

The Ootori shifted Kain's face into the curve of his neck and lifted the boy up into his arms as he stood, making sure that he stayed asleep. Kyoya wandered through to where his wife was and watched her, his hand on the back of Kain's head and his expression warm. Yuuki looked up and noticed them. The man kissed his son on the temple and let his wife and loved know that he was going to tuck the boy in. She smiled at him and watched him slip away. A moment later, she slipped away after him.

Kain slept like a log. He was almost as bad as his father. Yuuki said so as she joined them in the nursery.

Kyoya was laying the toddler into his crib when she appeared at his side. The room was an inky blue, only obstructed by the white glow of a nightlight in the far corner. The girl ran her fingers over her son's hair, brushing it off his face. Kyoya put an arm around her and leant it on the edge of the crib, trapping her there.

"I'm sorry it's been so hectic." He said quietly, turning his face to her.

"You don't control the universe." Came the reply. "I like our baby. He's so nice." She pressed her nose against Kyoya's jaw. "I like you too. You're nice too."

The man smiled. "As weird as it sounds, I'll miss this time."  
"We're too young to miss time."  
"Mm."

"But me too." Came the soft reply. Yuuki kissed the corner of his mouth gently. "I know it sucks right now. You're tired; I'm tired, Kain was sick. You're busy and stressed. We've been fighting...or, you've been trying to fight and I've been ignoring resolutions."

"I could never work that out."  
"If I ignore them, maybe they'll go away."

They were whispering quietly even though Kain would sleep through their normal conversation. The pair was looking at their son, astonished at how much they loved him even when it was hard to feel positive.

Kyoya pressed his forehead against his wife's hair and exhaled slowly. "Thank you."  
"You're welcome." She replied honestly.

"You too." He turned her head to him and kissed her.

Loving anything means that you instantly have a weak point. Yet, at the same time, it strengthens you and gives you opportunity to learn. To love is a gift. It makes you feel like a superhero – it makes you want to be a superhero. It sets you free as you give yourself to someone else. It's not complicated, but it's hard to understand.

Late that night, Kyoya wasn't entirely sure that he understood it; but he was getting there. He felt it and knew it and was so deep within it that it felt like a really good book. Sometimes you aren't supposed to understand the processes until the conclusion; you're supposed to enjoy it and not fight against reality. Fight against the things that make reality dark, but don't fight the base point unless it's broken. Hang onto it. Problems don't disappear when you love someone, but they get a new perspective.

Yuuki usually drifted off before her husband. He liked to watch her sleep. There was something precious about holding her as she slept. Kyoya had to marvel at this before returning to his wife. She looked peaceful, warm and welcoming. Her face was turned up slightly so that her breath washed up Kyoya's neck. He had an arm under and around her waist. His other hand was free to trace her hair off her features and rest somewhere near her pale shoulder blades. The man felt satisfied. Like he'd achieved something greater than earning his highest dollar. It was different to the feeling he had for his son, but it was no less intense. He had two people who gave so much without expecting anything in return; they didn't even try to be the way they were. They just were. That, in itself, was a marvel.

Little did the Ootori know, his wife held the same opinion about him and her son; just from a different perspective. The depth and nuance was the same for each. Equal and not competitive. As if her heart had grown to love as opposed to delegated where she could give the feeling to.

Kain was truly blessed to have parents like them. Every child who has parents who remember to love and remember to live their lives is a blessed child. You can't say just because they don't have this or that or because their parents don't get on that they are disabled. There are too many disabled children in society; just as many as there are healthy who think themselves confined. Humans need to work-getup and face things through more than a computer screen. Beauty is best perceived when viewed through the trials of reality.

Kyoya ran his fingers down Yuuki's spine and exhaled slowly, relaxing for the first time in a week. It had taken a while, but he had finally reached the point where it was possible. It wasn't because he was superhuman, but rather that the people he was with had made him so. They had changed his whole life. Given him the power to take on tall buildings and feel invincible; feel like there was something worth fighting for. It was a marvel of humanity – one that superman himself would have to fight to achieve.

_-_

_A super human heart beats in me  
Nothing can stop me here with you since I've been flying and writing the wrongs  
Feels almost like I've had it all along; I can see tomorrow  
Well every problem is gone because I flew everywhere with love inside of me  
It's unbelievable to see how love can set me free  
I'm feeling all super human, you did this to me  
A super human heart beats in me  
Nothing can stop me here with you  
__(Chris Brown ft. Keri Hilson, Superhuman)_

_-_

---------

I couldn't help myself; I had to write them again for old time's sake. Sorry if it's getting old. I hope you enjoyed the chapter and got something out of it.

I'm currently writing a Bleach story. It's very different to my usual plots/characters and I find myself challenged. For example, I don't swear. At all. However, the character I'm writing with (Grimmjow) has a potty mouth so bad that you need to take him outside once a day and wash it with soap. It's a really harsh environment to write, but we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed.

Anyway. Thanks for reading, please leave a review and let me know what you thought.

Blessings,

Peterpauper.

P.S) For those who didn't get the pun, Marvel is the company that publishes Superhero Comics.


	48. Unforgettable: Deleted Scene

-

**Unforgettable: Deleted Scene**

**-**

The sky was blushing through the windows as Yuuki Ootori made her way upstairs after an afternoon prom-dress shopping with Suki and Jasmine. The woman looked out the glass above the landing and sighed softly.

Kain was sleeping at a friend's house that night. He had become quite the young man. He was all of seventeen years, six feet and future heir to the Ootori Company. And he was chivalrous, athletic, academic and polite. He was also a tad devious, a little straight-forward and all around teenaged in his social life. Very much like his father had been.

Yuuki smiled and opened the door to her bedroom. It was silent and still and peaceful. The girl wandered over to the neatly made bed and collapsed onto it with an airy thud. She stared at the ceiling.

A day of shopping with Suki and her daughter.

A day of shopping for a daughter's special day.

Prom, wedding...mothers and their daughters and those occasions.

Yuuki ran her hand over her abdomen and turned her head to the bedside table. On it was a picture. It was black and white and all around fuzzy. It was her baby. Her baby girl just days before she had slipped through their fingers.

Kyoya had found the image in a folder in his office. They had probably gone there after a check-up with the doctor. Yuuki had hugged him for brining it home and put it in a frame by the bedside so that they wouldn't forget about their baby girl. She had given them such happiness even though they had only known her a short time.

If they had known her longer, then she would be prom dress shopping too.

Yuuki reached out and touched the image and smiled gently. She was saying 'I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I never got to hold your hand and take you places and let you know how special you are. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep you in my tummy for six months longer'. Kain knew about his little sister. He had found out when he was seven and asking for a little brother or sister. One that his mother was unable to give.

The picture was only small, but it was their baby. It was their baby girl. She would have loved her dad. Yuuki was sad that Kyoya had never known their child in the way she had known her. He'd never held her. Over a decade later, Yuuki still felt like she had robbed her husband of something by not being able to hold onto Sayuri.

It was an hour later when the door to the bedroom opened again. Kyoya walked inside. He had figured that Yuuki was out, but soon discovered that her usual mugging in the doorway had resigned itself to a crumpled slumber in bed instead. The man smiled as he undid his tie and hung it over a chair. He quietly sat down by his wife's knee and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Yuuki." Kyoya said quietly. "Yuuki, it's nearly six."

He knew that his wife sucked at sleeping patterns and, if she fell asleep in the late afternoon, would not fall asleep until early morning. And then she would be grumpy and unhappy and all around tired.

The girl mumbled something and brought her hand up to her eyes. Kyoya kissed her temple and tucked her hair behind her ear. Yuuki moved her hand, blinked and mumbled something incoherent but presumably pleasing.

"You didn't give me a bruise saying hello today." Kyoya said as she sat up groggily.

"I haven't said hello yet." There was a short pause. Yuuki opened her arms wide and woke up. "Hello!"

Her husband was engulfed, as much as one can be by Yuuki. "Good evening."

"I fell asleep." The girl pulled back. "I went shopping."  
"You're such a desperate housewife."  
"I work."  
"You don't get paid."  
Yuuki raised her finger in objection. "I do. I just don't get paid money."  
"Ah." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Good thing I do."  
"We'd be fine without it. We would just have to buy the occasional home-brand product and only have the maid vacuum once a week."  
"Kain wouldn't be getting a Mercedes for his birthday."  
"We're getting Kain a Mercedes for his birthday?"  
"As opposed to what you call 'a coffin on wheels', AKA – every other car." Pause. "Yes."  
"I didn't get a Mercedes for my birthday."  
"Yuuki, you can't drive."

Yuuki moved so that her feet were under her. She placed her hands in her lap and smiled, amused at her husband's closing statement. "Kain is at Tamaki's tonight with Tamaki Jr."

The Souh boy had become the Souh heir and, in due course, the epitome of Tamaki's son. It was like Haruhi had never existed as a moral influence in his life. Either way, he was Kain's close friend and the reason he Yuuki in him kept itself reigned in.

"I know." Kyoya pushed his glasses up.  
"Can we watch a lame movie?"  
Long suffering silence.

"Please?"  
More silence.

"Pretty please?" Yuuki peered at her husband.

"Do I get a choice?"  
"Nope." She grinned.

Yuuki was the single person in the entire universe who could direct Kyoya Ootori in a direction he would have not chosen, or rather, avoided. If she was going that way, then he would go too. Kain had a slight affect on his father's course, but not so much as his mother and not quite so widely manipulative.

Kyoya exhaled slowly and put his hand on his wife's head. "Will you tell me what's bothering you now?"

Yuuki smiled and grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand to rest between hers. "How do you know these things?"  
"You always say hello the moment I walk in the door. It's a very pleasing conclusion to any day; good or bad."  
"And when I don't say hello?" She tested.

"Then I get worried."  
"I don't want you to worry." Came the quiet reply. "I mean, you're always helping me and I'm like...'that person you help all the time'."

Kyoya smiled. "Yuuki, you help me greatly. You don't have to be there for me like I'm there for you. If I wanted someone to love me like I love you, I would be a narcissist." He paused for a moment. "Will you let me help you?"

She was silent. "I'm not strong like you."

"You're not weak."  
"If I was strong, I would have been prom dress shopping with our daughter today." Yuuki met his eye. "I'm sorry."  
"Sorry for what?" Kyoya lifted her chin up as she dropped it.

"For not letting you meet her."

It was amazing how quick light banter can turn into something serious when you're with a person you trust.

Kyoya was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry for not being there." Would it have been easier if he had been there to hold her hand. Would it have been any less painful? They would never know.

It was also amazing how years and years can pass, but you don't forget the things you love.

"No. No, you had things to do."  
"I always have things to do." The man replied steadily.

Yuuki laughed shortly. "I just...you know. I mean, she would go with me to the store and try on dresses and I would keep giving her navy coloured ones because I would want them for myself and then I would end up trying dresses on with her. And we'd go look for the perfect jewellery and look for the perfect hairstyle and get our nails done by someone wearing a little blue mask. When she got married I would take her out and let her find her dress and then I'd come home and show her off to you and her little brother." The girl blinked. "I'm sad because I miss that, but I'm even sadder to know that you missed it too."

Kyoya took his wife in his arms and held her steadfastly. "She loved you so much."  
"She never met you."  
"Of course she met me. She was made up of me and you. Sayuri knew us, she didn't have to see our faces or speak or walk or talk. She knew us in the most intimate way a child can know their parent."

Yuuki pressed the bridge of her nose into her husband's collar. "Do you ever wonder what would have happened if things had happened differently? Like...the person ten meters away from you could be the love of your life, but you'll never know. The little baby in the stroller would have had different features if it had been conceived a second later."  
"It would be a different baby. It wouldn't have been Sayuri and that person wouldn't have been you."

"Don't you wonder though?"

"I used to wonder what life would have been like if I'd never let you get on that plane back in High School. I wonder what we would have been like."

"Would you do it any other way?"  
"I would do it so that I didn't lose a whole year to stupid decisions."

"They weren't stupid."

"They were pretty stupid."  
Pause. "Okay...yeah. You were a jerk."

Kyoya smiled. "Are you okay?"  
"Are you?"

"I will be." It's not just the woman in the relationship who needs support; it's just easier for her to ask sometimes.

"I'm glad we're not different people. If I hadn't left then I wouldn't be this Yuuki. I might even be someone else's Yuuki."  
"Don't say that." Kyoya ran his hand over the back of her head. "But if you must, say it about our baby. Say, we wouldn't be here, like this, if it hadn't been for her."  
"We would still be happy."  
"Yes. We would."  
"Would you want it different?"  
"I can't give that to you." Kyoya kissed his wife on the temple. "Are you okay now?"

Yuuki smiled and leant back. She closed the distance between them and kissed her husband properly. He was warm and honest and he knew what being a human was like. He knew what wanting to change things was like and he knew that he couldn't. They knew that powerlessness and all they could do was trust God and trust that, where they were was the place they were supposed to be. They got there. They got through it. Time and time and time again. Humans have an amazing ability to survive, but they keep forgetting that it's easier if you've got someone you let help you stay alive. Not someone who is life, but someone who makes it all worthwhile.

Yuuki and Kyoya had experienced the joy of a child and then the devastation of loss. It had been a short time that they spent with their daughter, but it was a time they wouldn't replace. Neither of them would go back in time and take that baby away before they even knew it existed. Neither of them could now that they knew what it was like. Truth be told, there is some beauty in sadness just as there is beauty in life itself.

Kyoya knew that Yuuki still took his breath away. Every day was like a date in High School with your first love. It was time you got with them, it was time you wanted to spend with them and it was doing something you both agreed on, even if you couldn't both enjoy it.

Joseph Campbell once said that "we cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can chose to live in joy."

How true that was. What you chose daily determines how you live daily. You can't alter the past and you can feel pain. But when you look back on those memories, let them be beautiful because they were times that brought great joy, even if they ended in sadness. It's hard to look back on mistakes and grievances and learn from them, but it's not impossible. If it was easy, life would be too. But then, life wouldn't be life, it would be a walk in the park and there would be no pure joy because there would be no pure sadness. You have to experience the whole world to experience whole life – and everything that that implies.

Yuuki blinked and pressed her forehead against her husband's. "You smell like peppermints."  
He smiled. "Kain is very lucky to have you as a mother."

"You're his father. He's got you too. He loves you too." They focused on what they had as opposed to what they could have had. You can't work with what you no longer possess.

Yuuki twisted and reached for the image on her bedside. It was fuzzy and comprised of black and white. It was their baby. Their little girl. "She's smiling here."

Kyoya felt comforted by this. He felt warmed and he felt certain that his daughter had been just as joyous during that time as they had been. "She's smiling even now."

Yuuki nodded. "Even now."

_-_

_Unforgettable, that's what you are  
Unforgettable though near or far  
Like a song of love that clings to me  
How the thought of you does things to me  
Never before has someone been more  
Unforgettable in every way_

_(Nat King Cole, Unforgettable)_

_-_

---------------

_I hope you have a very happy New Year. __Did you know that it's been just over a year since I started Chrysanthemum? How far it came. _

_I have been working a lot on my own writing more and more lately, so I may disappear for a while. Actually, high chances that I will. I'll reply to messages and such, but I may not post fanfiction for a quite a bit. I know I keep writing Yuuki x Kyoya bits-and-pieces but theirs is the story I'm most connected with and that means the most to me, so I can't help but come back every now and then. _

_Hope you had a very Merry Christmas, keep safe. _

_Blessings, _

_P. _


	49. Author's Note

**Grammar**

So I was going through this story again and just want to apologise to all my readers for the awful grammar, spelling, and punctiation. I did write it a long time ago and have since gained a much better understanding of how the English language should be used. I am so grateful to all the readers and reviewers who gave me the constructive criticism I needed in order to improve my writing not only for myself but for future endevours.  
My original intention behind leaving the story as it is was so that I could look back and see what I have come from in order to better visualise where I am going. However, in updating the site has included a way in which to correct and edit already existing chapters without removing them entierly. If anyone wishes me to re-write the story in order to correct it then please feel free to PM me or contact me on my tumblr ( .com)  
Thank you once again to everyone for your amazing support with this fic. And thank you to the creators of Ouran for the amazing characters that inspired this story.

Blessings,  
P.


	50. Removal

**Removal  
**

* * *

In only a few hours I have been reminded of just how many people enjoyed this story.  
If there had been only one of you then that would have been enough for me. If I had made only one of you smile reading this then that would have been enough. But there is more than one and while that astounds me it also makes me hugely grateful. The support you all provide is astonishing and I apologise profusely for letting one bad moment make me forget that.

The stories will be staying. Not only because you want them to, but because I do as well. They are part of my journey and a good indicator of where I started and of how far I've come. I'm not the best writer, but I enjoy doing it and I want to improve. I am different now, but that doesn't mean I should forget my younger self.

There is so much more that I could say here but I dont want to sound like an old dog howling so, just know that I love you all and than I am thankful for all of you. Know that I adore your constructive criticism and appreciate how brave you must be to come forward like that without sounding vicious. Thank you for all staying by my side through it all, and for putting up with my shortcomings and helping me overcome them.

You are all one of a kind.

P.


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